Chapter Text
Kunikida had been watching the strange dark-haired kid loiter around the philosophical novel section of the library for a while.
Now, he was not one to judge a book by its cover, but the guy was seriously creepy. His expensive-looking black trench coat, suit and bandages made him seem rather out of place amongst the quaint atmosphere. Either he had a peculiar taste in fashion, or was some mass-murdering serial killer, come to haunt Kunikida’s peace and quiet (both options seemed viable.) His mannerisms were strange too, his body moving disjointedly, and an eye that stared off into space far too often than normal.
Kunikida was supposed to be tutoring in about half an hour and had come into the library early, like always, to prep for his lessons. However, the appearance of this strange, shadow of a boy had completely thrown him off schedule; something he was highly displeased about. The guy technically hadn’t caused any problems, but seeing someone so unfamiliar, dressed suspiciously mafioso-like, had alarm bells ringing in his head. Surely the mafia wouldn’t hire someone so young, right? He looked around the same age as Kunikida. The mafia had recently been causing less and less problems, and the rumours of a new boss seemed to be proving true. Although, this still didn’t entirely put his racing mind at ease since the whole of Yokohama had suffered during the former boss's reign, and that was not something he could easily brush past.
Therefore, he decided that talking to the kid was the only option, purely for the sake of having a peaceful tutoring session. He awkwardly coughed to catch the boy's attention, who seemed to be locked in a staring competition with a book titled ‘The Brothers Karamazov.’ As soon as he turned around to face Kunikida, his demeanour entirely changed. His vacant stare was replaced by a wide grin and even his body became more animated. Morbidly, Kunikida couldn’t help but compare him to a corpse coming back to life. Frankenstein’s monster, awakening at the prospect of a social interaction.
This made Kunikida’s mind go completely blank about what it was he wanted to say and so he just stood there. Fortunately, the guy was the first to speak.
“So you finally came over to talk! I could hardly concentrate with you glaring daggers at my back for so long. Did you want something?” Kunikida gritted his teeth in slight embarrassment, he had thought his observation of the kid was more subtle.
“Oh no, no. I was just wondering if you needed any help”
“Hmm… Yes, in fact I do!” he exclaimed brightly “You wouldn’t happen to know where the complete guide to suicide volume 2 is?”
“Excuse me?”
“The complete guide to suicide volume 2.”He theatrically gestured tying a noose around his neck and hanging for extra emphasis. “I’ve already memorised the first edition, but for some reason my annoying… father refuses to buy me the second!! How cruel!”
Kunikida just stared at him, dumfounded. Why on earth did he think that kind of book would be at a public library?
“No, we don't have that.”
“Then help me with this list please!” He said thrusting a crumpled piece of paper into Kunikida’s hand. Kunikida raised an eyebrow at how the neatly written list of books was surrounded by childish crayon doodles of various animals.
“I’ve already managed to find most of them,” he said gesturing to the stack of books concealed within his trench coat. ‘It’s just the strategy of conflict by Schelling that I can’t seem to find anywhere.”
Kunikida honestly had no idea if the library had that, and he wasn’t actually a library assistant as he assumed he had led bandages to believe. He internally cursed himself for deciding to talk to this guy as he definitely did not want to get involved in finding his creepy war books. He swore he could feel a migraine coming.
Glancing down at his watch, even though he already knew the time perfectly, was his escape. “Actually I have tutoring in a couple of minutes and need-“
“So you come asking if I needed help and then don’t actually follow through.” Dazai sighed deeply, “What’s your name?”
“Kunikida.”
“I’m Dazai, Dazai Osamu and exactly what subject are you tutoring?”
“Mathematics”
“Perfect!” Dazai said clapping his hands together. “You can help me with that instead.”
Kunikida’s eye twitched, he honestly wished he had The Complete Guide to Suicide Volume 2 for himself. “Hold on, I didn’t agree to this. I only tutor people from school, at a price.”
“Well, I’m home-schooled, you can’t discriminate Kunikida, that's awful. Anddd as for payment…” Kunikida’s jaw practically dropped as Dazai pulled out a huge wad of cash from the depths of his trench coat and handed it to him, not even checking the amount. “There! All sorted.”
“Wait, wait, wait, I’m lost, where the hell did you get all this?!” There was absolutely no way this money was acquired legally.
“My father (for some reason he seemed very adverse to saying ‘father’) gave me extra this week.”
So Kunikida was dealing with a rich, spoiled brat. Great.
“If you’re that wealthy then surely there's a better tutor out there that you can have instead.”
“Come on Kunikida~” Dazai whined and with a tilt of his head “You’d make an awful businessman you know?”
At that moment his phone began to ring. “One moment Kunikida!” Upon picking up his tone instantly changed from lighthearted to cold. Kunikida couldn’t really tell what was going on, only that he ended the call with a stern ‘I’ll be right there.’
“Ah, sorry, family troubles. I’ll see you tomorrow for our first session!” he said, and with a dramatic bow, he left without giving Kunikida the option for debate. Plus, he didn’t even check out the library books he borrowed, the rock for brains.
Dazai hadn’t even given him enough time to give him the money back, meaning he was basically trapped within their arrangement. Furthermore, he learnt practically nothing about him except his name and that he had a rich ‘annoying’ father, making his endeavour entirely useless in the first place.
Kunikida groaned, he was definitely getting involved in things he shouldn’t have.