Chapter Text
Lucy’s POV
Pain. A constant flash of black and red pain. It burns brightly in my mind, entwining it with streams as red as blood. Too much. Too strong. Too frightening.
Fear. That word won’t leave me alone. It stands right in front of my eyes, whether they’re open or closed. Fear for my guild, for my friends, for everything I hold dear. And the only one to blame is me.
“Your weakness… your spinelessness, your indifference. How did you even end up in a guild like this? Little foolish girl. This will be your last battle, I’m sure of it.”
I jolted awake, pushing myself up on the bed and bracing my hands on my knees. This dream had been haunting me for three weeks already. Ever since Fairy Tail’s victory at the GMG… and my personal defeat. No matter who supported that red-haired mage, it was still my fault. Mine, and my refusal to accept reality as it is.
My loud sigh broke the silence. Outside, dawn was just starting to break, filling the streets with warm spring sunlight. Too early, but there was no way I could fall back asleep. If I could, I wouldn’t sleep at all. But my body decides for me when to shut down - whether it’s in the armchair where I often read, or in the hot, steamy bath.
Still, the night has always been my favorite time of day. The only time I could avoid questions from my guild mates.
I wasn’t hungry at all, so I settled for a glass of cold water. I struggled into a simple gray T-shirt with a plain pattern and white shorts just above the knee, trying to calm myself down so I wouldn’t make things worse with my teammates. They really didn’t understand what was going on with me, though some of them probably had their suspicions.
I hooked my keys to my belt, glanced at the soft pink guild mark on my hand, and clenched my fist. No. I don’t want my friends to worry. They’re not the ones to blame for my weakness.
The clock showed 6:30 AM when I opened the main doors of Fairy Tail. The hall was almost empty. Mira was behind the bar as usual - or rather, asleep, leaning on the counter. On the other side, right next to her, was her younger sister. I stared at Lisanna in surprise - she’d gone on a mission with Elfman and Evergreen just two days ago.
I glanced around again. No one was on the first floor. But on the second, the Thunder God Tribe sat together, quietly talking. Not a single one of them paid attention downstairs, so I walked deeper inside and slipped through a small, easily missed door.
It led to a tiny library created by a word mage the day after one of the guild’s loudest parties, when Master got drunk enough to see little Natsus in his eyes and let them turn a storage room into something useful.
Levy wasn’t here - the blue-haired girl had told me she’d spend a few days at home, resting after translating three books from a lost language. Because no one else was around, I stopped in front of the makeshift iron shelves. It wasn’t hard to guess who Levy had asked for help building this place.
I sat at the work table and finally noticed the books. One of them almost called out to me, slowly sliding off the shelf. As soon as my hands got close, it jerked and stuck to my palms. Not surprising anymore - everything has its own magic energy. Some more, some less. That’s what lets objects act on their own or through a mage’s power.
I brushed the dusty cover, trying to read the title. Half-erased letters scattered across the surface, refusing to come together and tell me their origin. I didn’t have the strength to keep staring at dancing letters, but my opinion didn’t matter.
I tore my gaze away only when muffled squeals and loud voices echoed from the other side of the door. No time to figure out whether they were cheerful or angry. I shoved the book into my shoulder bag and tried to open the door. Tried. It felt like I was pushing a massive stone - almost moving, but not quite. A soft rustling came from the other side, and finally the door gave way.
“What happened here?” I stepped closer to the wall so I wouldn’t get knocked over.
Tables and chairs were already flying across the guild, along with the occasional unlucky girl caught in the chaos. Elfman was nearby, his hands wrapped in bandages. Apparently, the mission hadn’t gone smoothly.
“Why does he always charge right into the center of a fight when he’s already neck-deep in trouble?”
“Hey, Lucy! I didn’t even see you come in,” Mira greeted me with a bright laugh at another of Macao’s jokes. She gave me a concerned look, her eyes scanning my clothes. “You don’t usually show up not wearing a skirt. Did something happen?”
“Mira, I’m fine,” I forced a weak smile and tried to walk toward the door. “Just felt like going for a walk today. It’s a bit chilly.”
She didn’t buy it. I wouldn’t have believed myself either. I always wore skirts - rain, wind, snow, dangerous missions, weird teammates. And now, suddenly, a one-day walk? Way too suspicious.
“Really, I just want to do some shopping, maybe pick out something new. I’m so tired of wearing the same fabulous outfits all the time. Gotta surprise the guys somehow.”
“Oh, well then,” she nodded, accepting my excuse and waved as she ran off to help her brother with his bandages. Evergreen was already hovering near him, so Mira would be busy arguing with her about proper treatment for a while. I sighed in relief - a little too early.
“Hey, Lucy.” This time it was Erza. She led me toward the bar, and I flinched when she grabbed my hand too firmly. Sure, she noticed.
“Did something happen? Are we going on a mission? Did Master ask for something?”
“Lucy, I just can’t figure it out,” she said, her voice full of worry. My forced cheerfulness faded instantly. “You’ve changed a lot. It’s hard to put into words, but I can feel it… and it worries me.”
“What?” I had to clear my throat before I could even say it - my voice suddenly failed me.
“I don’t know when it started or why. And no, I’m not buying excuses like bad weather or a bad mood. Lucy, we’re your family. Why won’t you tell us the truth? What are you so afraid of?”
I couldn’t look Erza in the eyes.
“Did Natsu and Gray do something? Or did I? Is it about your spirits? What is it, Lucy? Answer me!”
“Erza… can I tell you later?” She froze, looking at my face. I’d never reacted this calmly before - usually I’d just joke it off. “Please. Give me a few days. I’ll gather myself, and then we can talk. Maybe… maybe you’ll even be able to help me.”
“Of course, Lucy,” Erza smiled gently and touched my shoulder. “You can always count on all of us. On Fairy Tail. On our team. We’ll always protect you.”
And those words hurt the most. I knew she didn’t mean anything bad. But a sharp, heavy weight settled in my chest, and all I wanted was to crawl into my bed and cry.
Helplessness. They’ll protect me, of course. After all, I’m so… useless.
“Thanks. I’ll go shopping for now. Need to pick up a few things.”
“I can go with you, if you want…” She caught the way my lips tightened and corrected herself. “Right. I’ve got plenty to do here anyway.”
“Do you know where Makarov is?” I asked at the door.
“He should be back in a few days. The Council called him in. I really hope it’s not because of us. HEY, KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO!” The last part was shouted mid-flight as she charged toward Natsu and Gray, who had escalated their bickering into a full-blown magic fight.
“Thanks, Erza.”
Turning around, I hurried out of the guild, leaving the noise behind. I had a lot to figure out before my plan could begin.