Work Text:
As all good things in life come to an end, Hal and David must pack up their bags to move into a new living place. For the past couple of months they’ve called this dingy motel room their home. From the mini kitchen they’ve put together with portable stoves to the printed photos of them stuck on the wall, it’s the best they could’ve gotten. For the ‘rent’ they were paying, they could ignore the suspicious stains on the floor and cracks in the ceiling. On the edge of town, tucked away far from any government offices on the lookout. Though the more they stayed in one place, the more they risked being caught. Fortunately for them they had Mei Ling. Being the sweetheart she is, she quickly found a new place for them to relocate safely.
Hal’s eyes were currently glued onto his laptop. He’d been writing a report on their metal gear findings for the past couple of weeks. That is up until a few moments ago, when his brain finally short circuited while proofreading. At a certain point the words had clumped into a jungle of never ending sentences. Maybe if he kept reading, Hal thought, they’d untangle themselves to reveal a report capable of receiving a Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe this time he’d actually get credit for his work-
“Hey, Earth to Hal-”
“Oh shit- Yeah David?
“The room is due in 30 mins. Can you handle cleaning while I shower?”
“You got it, man.” Hal shut his computer and stretched as far as his body could go. Every possible bone loudly cracked. Rarely taking a break seems to hurt more than actually taking one every so often.
So, Hal got to work. Opening drawers, checking under the furniture, and in the pile of trash they’ve forgotten to take out. Not even housekeeping was allowed inside the room. They couldn’t risk allowing any loose confidential paperwork to be left behind. Call them paranoid, but is it really paranoia if someone is actually after you?
Hal meticulously stacked his papers until all sides were aligned, tucked in a paper clip, and hoped to God it was enough to keep the fat stack together in his backpack.
With his side of the room out of the way, now came David’s side.
David had fallen into startlingly slobbish routines once he became comfortable around Hal. Waiting until the last minute to wash laundry, never folding his clothes before putting them away, or not picking up his empty water bottles. All the same, it must’ve felt relieving for David to not have someone breathing down his neck to make his bed at the crack of dawn. Maybe Hal had no room to complain after all.
Hal picked out David’s blankets, folded them, and tucked them away in his suitcase. He then rummaged through the layers of bedsheets. Something fell onto the ground when he flipped over David’s pillow. He peered over to where it landed. A magazine? He was shocked, he really didn’t take David for the type to peruse magazines in his free time.
He picked it up and inspected the cover. He silently gasped, nearly dropping it again. The cover displayed a scantily clad man in all his glory, tan skin shimmering like gold in the light. Hal looked around the room before diving into the pages. Near perfect physiques littered each page. They wore tight tank tops, short shorts, and speedos that were one size too small. Their bodies grasped onto one another with such delicacy to form promiscuous poses. The mere sight of them even made Hal blush.
A knot suddenly formed in his stomach. A side of David he never knew existed had just revealed itself right before Hal’s very eyes. He shouldn’t be seeing this. Only David had the right to strip himself bare of his barriers and expose his vulnerabilities to Hal.
“Working hard over there?”
Hal shrieked, “David! I thought you were showering.” He scrambled to hide the magazine behind his back.
“I was,” He walked over to Hal. Wet strands of dark brown hair hung over his face. His figure resembled that of the men in the magazine. David must have a type.
“Did you see a ghost or something? You’re shaking.”
Hal’s mind raced. His posture wobbled, holding the magazine in cramping fingers. Time wasn’t going to reverse any time soon. He could only bite the bullet.
“I- uh, found this under your pillow.” He sheepishly showed him the magazine.
“Oh. That.” David visibly tensed at the all too familiar sight. He took the magazine and chucked it into the trash bin. He then snatched his box of cigarettes off the counter.
“I'm sorry for looking through your bed- I should’ve let you handle it.”
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing” The bed creaked under his weight when he sat on the edge. He occupied himself by pulling at the frayed corners of the box. “Will you grab my lighter for me, please?”
“Ah. Right.” Hal retrieved the lighter. Not a single word spared as he gave it to David.
“Hey David?”
“Yeah?
“Do you actually…”
David fiddled with a cigarette in his hand. Nothing in his entire training could’ve prepared him for the immense pressure he felt at the moment. Time stopped, the two men framed in the moment. A bated breath held on the verge of choking. Right now, they were the only people in the entire world.
The silence in the room was damn near enough to send Hal into cardiac arrest. Now he really felt himself shaking. The more he wrung his hands, the clammier they became. His heart pounded against his chest. He wondered if this was the end of David’s trust in him. Which meant the end of their friendship. Maybe Hal will end up all by himself after all, just like how he imagined it for so many years.
“David,” Hal said softly, “I’m really sorry, we can drop this if you’d like-”
“Hal, you’re fine.” Despite the surprising lack of appetite for tobacco, David lit his cigarette, “There’s no point in hiding it anymore.”
Hal sat beside him on the edge of the bed. The plumes of smoke floated idly in the stale air of the room. Its distinct smell which has embedded itself in the lives of both men fell foreign to their senses.
“You ever…feel like your whole life has been built on a lie? Like none of your experiences actually mean anything?”
Hal thought to himself for a moment. His entire career up until Shadow Moses had been born upon the idea that he could help humanity. To protect them from inevitable nuclear war and its destruction that they supposedly had no control over. A facade perfectly crafted to take advantage of his intellect, one that his naivety wouldn’t have noticed earlier. His ultimate understanding of the reality shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Incidentally, it was the same humanity that failed to protect him as a child.
“Yeah, I get that feeling too often. I guess we’re in a similar boat.” Said boat was surely slowly sinking in the middle of an infinite ocean. Hal hesitantly accepted David’s offer of a cigarette.
“My whole life I’ve been expected to be the man. It was my job to gawk at women and make them mine somehow. No matter what I did, what I said to them, I couldn’t fall in love. I should’ve known sooner that I never belonged with them.” His gaze stuck to the ground as he blew a cloud of smoke.
“And when I met you, I was scared. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was going to say the wrong thing or touch you the wrong way- it all sounds so stupid saying it outloud. But in my head, it was only a matter of time before I fucked something up and we’d be done for.”
Like a puzzle, everything they have and haven't done together fell into place. It now made sense why David always insisted he faced away whenever Hal changed clothes in the same room. Why their hugs always seemed too short. Why David always tripped over his words when talking about past relationships.
Hal’s eyes widened at a realization.
“Is that why you’ve always picked separate beds?”
“I wouldn’t throw away extra cash for no reason.”
David finally met Hal in the eyes. If vulnerability has already knocked the man off his feet, he might as well beg for empathy on his knees.
“You’re the first real friend I’ve had in years. We haven’t known each other for that long, but I was willing to risk everything to protect what we have.” His words choked every sense of pride out of him, “I don't want to be alone again.”
Hal truly felt dumbfounded. For nearly a year he was convinced David didn’t like him. That David merely saw them as work partners, nothing more and nothing less. Working together after Shadow Moses must’ve been transactional, not a choice deliberately made by the both of them.
Reality is, neither of them could ever be alone again. They both knew it.
David gasped as Hal suddenly embraced him. “David, no matter what, I’ll always be on your side.” The soft voice against his ear called for tears. Although time has stolen his ability to cry, David still shut his burning eyes.
“Thank you…so much” David’s arms tightly wrapped the other man. Hal’s frame was much smaller to his and if David was honest to himself, he liked the way their bodies melted onto one another.
“Ooh- Ow! Okay that actually hurts. You know I’m not as strong as you.”
“Whoops. I can’t go breaking you now.” They let go of one another.
“Well, this actually explains a lot.” Hal said, adjusting his glasses. David narrowed his eyes at him.
“I mean, I had a feeling. There were just things you’d do that just made you… I don’t know, different?”
“Really?”
“Yeah- not that I’m trying to stereotype you!”
David chuckled, “I know, I know.” The cigarette butt fell to the ground, extinguished under David’s shoe. The boat they shared may be slowly sinking, but together, they could sail to shore.