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Life continued, despite how much Dick didn’t want to admit that this was the way things were going to be now. A new status quo. A family of three. He hated how once again he went on after his whole life fell apart again. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted his little brother back.
The first night was the absolute worst. As he made his way to his room he found himself by Tim’s door, the pain was way too fresh, he laid in his bed and cried until he fell asleep. When he woke he wondered whether Tim was already eating breakfast. He searched for Tim and when he didn't find him, he remembered and began crying again.
Dick’s clinginess was worse. Damian would sometimes complain about how Dick held him for way too long. Though he eventually realized that this helped Dick not to panic and accepted his older brother’s hugs.
Alfred, Clark and Barbara were not spared Dick’s despair. So often he would come to them asking to help him find Tim only to be turned down again and again.
How often did he snap at them? They didn’t deserve it at all.
One time Barbara had had enough. She was angry and was gonna make sure that the words stuck inside Dick’s head.
“Enough, Grayson!”
Dick stared in shock.
“I am sick and tired of this. You screaming at me will not bring Tim back and you know it.”
“I can’t help it! I’m just too worried! Is that a crime?”
Dick’s voice quivered.
“He’s fine Dick.”
“How would you know that?”
Barbara gave a defeated sigh.
“He still sends in reports about his findings in his mission.”
Anger boils inside of him.
“AND YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT’S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO KNOW?!”
“LOWER YOUR DAMN TONE WITH ME RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”
Barbara was dangerous when angry, but Dick was too angry himself to listen to what she had just said. She withheld information from him. Barbara had withheld everything from him. She knew where Tim was, what he was doing. Yet she wasn’t doing anything to help Dick bring him back home. Dick’s tone turned to a low simmering anger, ready to boil over.
“You will tell me where he is and you will do it now!”
“No.”
“Barbara.”
Dick gave a warning, but Barbara stayed determined.
“So what? For you to meddle? For you to mess everything up?”
The anger in Dick was replaced with shock. Barbara began to calm down.
“He was always gonna leave sooner or later, just like you left Bruce. Also, what Tim’s doing is too damn important for you to come in and ruin everything.”
Dick felt ashamed.
“Believe in him, please…”
“Babs… I miss him. I’m sorry I don’t- I can’t believe it until I see him safe myself.”
“Believe in me then.”
Dick looked at her eyes while she continued.
“I know him and I will do everything in my power to ensure that he lives. He knows that he’s not alone.”
Barbara reached out a hand for Dick to hold.
“Believe in me then. Please?”
“...”
“Please?”
Dick nodded and promptly left. He was behaving like a child, he knew very well that his action would yield no results, though the dim fire of anger and betrayal still burned within him. He had another person to grill for information.
Once again Batman stood upon a tall building away from the city’s streets, ready to call Superman for information.
“Clark! Come here now.”
A rush of air followed as Superman stood before him.
“Dick.”
Clark greeted him politely.
“You know.”
Clark looked slightly to the side away from Batman’s gaze.
“You’ve known since the beginning.”
“Yes…”
Hurt sprung within Dick.
“Why didn’t you bring him back, stop him or even tell me where he is?”
“I can’t do that Dick.”
“But he-”
“Dick.”
Clark interrupted.
“Believe me.”
“I… I-I don’t know if I can…”
Clark put a hand on Dick’s shoulder.
“I know where he is. No harm will come to him.”
“You can’t just say that. You can’t be everywhere.”
His frustration was growing.
“Tim knows exactly what he’s doing. I trust him and you should as well.”
“...”
“Everything will be fine Dick.”
“I don’t know if I can believe that.”
“He will come back.”
Clark said with absolute certainty.
“That’s a promise.”
“I don’t-”
“All I need you to do is believe him, and if you can’t do that, believe in me then.”
Dick sighed. This was going nowhere, but if there was a person on Earth capable of protecting Tim against every possible danger, it would be Clark.
“Fine.”
Clark gave his world famous Superman smile, a smile that was a promise by itself that things would be alright. Dick felt the weight pulling at his heart grow a bit lighter.
Dick didn’t ask anymore after that. He believed. He was able to sleep somewhat easier now…
—
Taking a mission away from Earth was something Dick would always be nervous about since Jason’s death.
“Babs promised. Clark is also aware and promised too. They will keep Tim safe.”
Dick muttered to himself quietly to soothe his worries as he embarked, continuing this mantra throughout the whole expedition.
The mission involved Batman, Green Lantern and the Flash.
A memory emerged in Dick head about Bruce complaining about his fellow heroes. Dick wasn’t Bruce, yet the awkwardness of others remained in the face of Batman. Apparently it didn’t matter too much who wore the cowl.
With all the hard work, the mission was a resounding success, almost nothing went wrong and Dick was ready to come back home.
A home without Jason, without Bruce and still without Tim.
While he walked he saw Superman out of the corner of his eyes. The man of steel turned his head away and quickly left his sight. Fear began to set in and Dick found himself running.
As he went to gather his things he noticed an old message from Babs after countless others left unread.
I’m so sorry.
Dick’s heart began to race as he rushed to the Zeta. Putting in the code to the cave resulted in a failure. Failure over and over again. He gave up and just put in the code for the Gotham Zeta.
There was a storm during the night. Alfred was waiting with the Batmobile right beside the Zeta. He grabbed Dick by the shoulders and hugged him while crying.
No, no. NO!
This wasn't happening. This can't be happening!
The Batmobile drove itself to the cemetery. In the dark of the rainy night it was hard to see anything.
Dick sprang out and ran to the place where Jack Drake was buried. He prayed to whichever entity that this wasn’t right, that this wasn’t happening.
Eventually he found it. Near the grave of a man and his wife stood a fresh patch of dirt. He felt himself crumble at the headstone.
Lightning illuminated everything for a second, enough for Dick to see…
TIMOTHY JACKSON DRAKE
No, no, nonononono.
Dick began to hyperventilate.
“TIM!”
Tim was gone, Tim was dead. It happened again. He left and his brother died, once again missing his funeral.
“Come back I’m sorry Tim. I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. Come back! Please don’t-... Tim, don’t… P-please I’m sorry! C-come back!”
Footsteps approached. Alfred came by and helped Dick stand. Batman had failed.
The ride was quiet outside of the rain. He didn’t want to accept that this happened. Damian was awaiting him. He gave Dick a hug while he shook and sobbed quietly.
It was as if time was flowing with chunks missing. He was alone, standing on the floor. He didn’t eat. He didn’t sleep.
Dick made his way to Tim’s room. As soon as he stepped fully inside the door was shut with a loud thud by the hand of a man who hid behind it. Jason was standing there in full costume, radiating anger.
“It happened again.”
Right to the point.
Jason took off his mask, he didn’t have his regular domino underneath.
“It happened again Dick.”
Tears were flowing from Dick’s eyes.
“It fucking happened again. Have you nothing to say for yourself?!”
“I’m sorry.”
Jason scoffed.
“‘I’m sorry’ won’t bring him back.”
“...”
“It happened under your watch Batman.”
Jason spoke ‘Batman’ with anger and disgust.
“You allowed this to happen.”
“No I-”
“YOU ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN AGAIN!”
Jason took out his gun as Dick cried harder, full tremors across his entire body.
“What a useless person you are. Can’t even save your brothers. Can’t even be bothered to come to their funerals.”
Dick fell to his knees, his hands covering his face in shame as he continued to sob.
“They promised…”
Dick whispered.
“Huh? Care to repeat that?”
“They promised.”
Jason glare was like daggers.
“What? Clark and Babs? You counted on them?”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“They promised.”
Jason hit the door with the side of his fist.
“And what did it fucking get you?”
Guttural sounds emerged from Dick.
“When it was me. I screamed and screamed and where the fuck was Clark?”
“I-I…”
“You fuck!”
Jason kicked the side of his head, making Dick fall onto the floor, tearful eyes staring back at the brother he let down first. Jason’s face was full of hate.
“You let this happen. This is your fault Dick.”
Jason moved his hand closer.
“The world would be a better place with less people like you.”
Jason aimed the gun to Dick’s head and fired.
—
Dick awoke with a scream and with tears in his eyes.
He looked around the room. A nightmare. This had all been a horrible nightmare.
The sounds of light footsteps running came to his door. Damian poked his head inside, fear poorly masked in his expression. Dick exhaled and looked at the tiny kid.
“I’m fine Damian. Just a nightmare.”
Damian stared at him for a long while, evaluating Dick’s condition. At some point he left, but only after Dick began to do some breathing exercises to calm himself down.
He grabbed the framed photograph now sitting by his bedside, something he took from Tim’s room. He touched his forehead against the cold glass to ground himself. The faces of his parents, the Drakes, little Dick and little Timmy stared back at him. Timmy looked at young Dick, something that still brought a smile to his face now. He trusted Babs, he trusted Clark, yet even with that trust, Dick still prayed that he wasn’t the only person in this photo who is still alive.
Dick hugged the photo to his chest and stood up. There was work to do. Carefully he returned the frame to its place. He looked at the photo standing once again at his bedside.
“I hope you’re safe Timmy. I love you.”
Please come back.
Dick thought as he left the room and closed the door.