Archive of Our Own

Maybe she was reading too deep into things, but Susie couldn’t shake the feeling that she was making a mistake here. She hated to leave Kris to fend for themself, but that was their mom. Susie didn’t know how to navigate a drunk Toriel – not to mention the stranger – and she didn’t think she wanted to try and figure it out. Toriel was such a nice person, the last thing Susie wanted was for that opinion of her to be tarnished. Besides, it wasn’t Susie’s place to get in the middle of Kris’s family stuff. It was just better she stayed out of it. 

She could still hear the music from inside. Susie turned to look over her shoulder at the door, which she closed behind her when she took her leave a couple minutes ago. Her feet had yet to carry her off of the porch though, like her body could feel her hesitance. She took a second to wonder what Kris did after she left. Did their mom trap them in a conversation? Did they escape to their room without another word? It’s what Susie would’ve done. It was best to avoid people when they were like that.

She looked up, her gaze landing on the bedroom window, Kris’s window. She hoped they were doing okay in there. So much had happened today, and they hadn’t had any time to reflect on it and decompress before they came home to all of that. She frowned and gazed out at the driveway, watching the soft rain patter against the gravel. Susie pulled her jacket a little tighter around herself.

She should just go. There was no point loitering around here, she had already said goodbye and made it final. With a huff, she tugged herself off of the porch, trudging down the gravel path. She had to find somewhere else to stay until she had no other choice but to go home – to her real home. She had spent enough time in Toriel’s hair, and who knew, maybe she and Kris needed a break from each other too. They had been practically conjoined the past three days, but Susie couldn’t help wanting to be around them. They had seen some crazy stuff, but today really took the cake. It was hard to digest everything – scrambling for clues at the church and then Noelle’s place, Ralsei being so secretive, opening her own fountain, challenging the old man, encountering the Titan, seeing the next piece of the prophecy… 

Gravel crunched beneath her shoes as Susie trudged to a stop at the end of the driveway. The cold rain beat down upon her, and she gazed out at the street leading into the rest of town. She looked off in the direction of the church, where they had just narrowly crawled back to the light world after their encounter with the Titan. Just beyond there was the graveyard, she could go sit there again and wait out the rain. At least this time she knew she wouldn’t be found. Maybe that was for the best.

Susie went to take another step forward, but her feet wouldn’t carry her, planted in place. She huffed, arms hugging around herself as she turned her gaze back toward the house, up at Kris’s window. 

She couldn’t get them out of her head. There was something about Kris today that stuck out to her, that was so much… more. She couldn’t stop thinking about them at the piano, sitting with Noelle on her couch as the two of them listened, or when she watched their hands move and feel out the keys of the organ in the dark world like it was natural to them. It was like it had been hiding deep within them, begging to be let out. She couldn’t wrap her head around what was keeping them from playing like that before. Why had they seemed so secretive today, like there was something on their mind that they didn’t want to tell them – to tell her? 

Was Kris scared too? 

Susie stood there, hair clinging to her face as water streaked down her scales. Her jacket was wet, the breeze cold as it blew against her. She gazed at Kris’s window, their room dark and quiet, containing Kris within, alone with all the same thoughts and emotions Susie was feeling. She clutched herself tighter, sharp teeth poking as she bit her lip in consideration before Susie was turning on her heel. 

“Fuck it,” she muttered, starting back toward the house. In a few strides, she was standing before the building again, gazing up at the window for a couple seconds before she turned down to the door. What exactly was it that she planned to do? She had waltzed back over with purpose, but realized that if she wanted to find Kris again, then she was going to have to pass the two hogging up the living room. It was no big deal, she could just walk in really fast and run up to Kris’s room! But what if Toriel tried to get her to stay and talk, to explain why she had changed her mind after disappointing everyone with her goodbyes? It was going to be so awkward! There had to be another way.

Susie took a step back, taking in the house as a whole. There must be some way she could get up to Kris’s window without causing a scene. She looked on one side of the house, then the other, before finding herself standing next to Toriel’s car. She stared for a moment, then looked up at the roof, calculating the distance in her head before shaking the worries from her mind. She was sure nothing bad would happen. After what she went through today, climbing a house was a walk in the freakin’ park. Though, she didn’t have any climbing gear… Whatever!

She crawled up onto the hood of the car, wincing at every thump her hands and feet made as she dragged herself over the windshield and onto the top of the car. She took a look toward the front door, waiting for a moment as though Toriel or her guest might’ve heard her over their blaring music. When a few seconds passed and nothing happened, Susie continued, pushing herself to her feet. She came to stand at the very edge of the car, eyes honing in on the lip of the gutter that lines the lower portion of the roof. She slightly bent her knees, readying herself as nerves flitted about in her gut. Come on, she’s made leaps bigger than this in the dark world plenty of times! Susie neglected to point out that physics seemed to be a little different in that plane, but she didn’t have time to worry about that now. Before she could psyche herself out, Susie leapt! 

She yelped, clawed hands barely grasping onto the gutter. It made a horrible sound beneath her weight, and Susie made haste to claw her way up, getting a more solid grip on the actual roof and pulling herself up. Her feet kicked until she was finally able to throw a knee up, getting the leverage she needed to crawl up onto the surface. She panted, turning back to look at the distance she covered from here and the car. Susie let out a breathless laugh. Why did she ever doubt herself? 

Rain was still pattering down on her as she crawled toward Kris’s window, hands wasting no time to slip claws beneath the edge, and pulling up. The window gave no resistance. It slid open for her, evidently left unlocked. Nice! 

Susie peeked her head in and looked around. It was dark, nothing so much as a lamp to guide her. In a breathless voice, she called out, “Kris? Hey, your window was– GAH!” 

Susie tumbled in, falling face-first into the room with a great big thump. The impact of her body made the trophies on Asriel’s shelves jump in place. She groaned, pushing herself up to her knees and rubbing a hand on her forehead. Between the dark and the dizziness, Susie couldn’t make anything out for a moment, wincing eyes peering around the room until she found a shape in the corner, stiff and rigid in surprise. Kris was standing in front of their birdcage, jaw gaping before they staggered forward, dropping to the floor next to her. 

“Susie,” they whispered, and their hands hovered awkwardly in the air for a second like they didn’t know what to do with them. Susie palmed her forehead. 

“Ugh, dude, why do you have to live on the second floor?” She complained, turning to the kid beside her and putting on a grin. The raw, unfiltered shock on their face made her laugh, and like they realized it, Kris pursed their lips shut. “Bet you didn’t see that coming, ha! The look on your face!” 

She swiped the wet hair out of her face, taking a good look at Kris now. Her brows raised, and she looked them up and down. Their sweater was gone, and they were left in a simple t-shirt. Dang, this was the first time she could really get a look at their twiggy arms in full! 

“It– It didn’t feel right leaving,” she admitted, her hands falling to her lap. She stared at Kris, and while it felt like she had so much to say moments ago on her way back to the house, she found herself speechless now that she was actually here in front of them. Her whole script that she had been planning abandoned her, and she couldn’t stop taking glances at their arms, their shoulders, their raised hands. She let out a nervous laugh, trying to recount was she was going to say. “I was about to, but then I started thinking about you, and… well, about everything, not just you, but mostly, uh– W-What happened to your sweater?” 

Kris stared at her. They couldn’t speak for a moment, eyes poring over Susie. A part of them couldn’t believe she was actually here, sitting in front of them with a wild gaze. She was soaked, droplets falling from her hair, the jacket over her shoulders turned dark from the water. Had she really braved the rain and wind in the dark of night just because ‘it didn’t feel right leaving’? Kris was silent and unmoving before they ducked their head, running a hand over their face. They peered up at her again, palm clutched over their mouth as their cheeks threatened to tighten with a smile, but Kris took a deep breath and composed themself. They let their hand fall into their lap.

“My… sweater?” They repeated, their words coming out in a low mumble. Susie almost had to strain to hear them. Their head turned a sliver to the side, and Susie followed the motion and looked in the corner. Through the dark, she could just barely make out the green sweater thrown over the birdcage. “I was… going to bed. How… How did you get up here?”

Susie laughed at the question, glancing at the window that she had left open. She opened her mouth to respond, but she could only stammer out a few syllables before she cut herself off as Kris pushed their hands forward. Nimble fingers hooked under the collar of her jacket, tugging it off her shoulders. She was stunned for a second, the action so random and unexpected from Kris that all she could do was sputter out another laugh before she helped them out, shaking her jacket the rest of the way off. She guessed it was pretty wet, huh? Maybe they just didn’t want her getting water everywhere. 

“It was easy! I just…” Susie hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea to mention that she had used Kris’s mom’s car to jump off of. She squinted, saying nothing for a moment before taking her jacket into her hands. “Actually, don’t worry about it! All that matters is that I’m here, right?” 

She bared her teeth in a grin for them before she pushed herself to her feet. Susie took a look around, squinting through the darkness before spotting the shape of Asriel’s desk in the other corner. She stepped over and tossed her jacket on the back of the chair, deeming that a good enough place for it to dry overnight. 

“Besides, your mom technically did offer for me to stay the night, so there’s nothing wrong with letting myself back in!” Susie trailed back over to the window, sliding it down and silencing the pattering rain from outside. She looked over at Kris, who hadn’t moved from the floor, watching her in silence. “And I… I didn’t want you to be alone, so… I came back.” 

She was quiet for a second, then pursed her lips with an uneasy expression, still lingering by the window. 

“Um. If that’s okay.” 

The music from downstairs could be heard again now that the wooshing wind and rain wasn’t drowning it out. It was quiet, like how it was before Susie made her entrance. It had just been Kris, though they weren’t alone. They were thankful for the hair that hung over their face as they cast a glance in the corner where the soul lay in its other cage. They looked at Susie again, shaking their head. They had to reassure her. This was what they wanted, wasn’t it? They had just been thinking about how strange it was to be apart from her after days of being glued to her side. Everything felt off when she wasn’t around.

“It’s… fine,” they mumbled, swallowing thickly. Kris went to push themself to stand, but their limbs burned with exhaustion. They clung to their dresser for support, staggering to their feet. They didn’t look at Susie, opting to gaze across the room at the jacket that hung on Asriel’s chair. It was easier to look at that than Susie’s bare arms. They already stared at them enough in the dark world, who knows what they would let slip now that Kris was set loose? 

In a soft murmur, they added, “I wanted you to stay again.” 

Susie blinked. Their voice was so soft right now, it was almost hard to hear. It was always surprising when they spoke like that, and part of her wondered if it was because they almost didn’t want to be heard. But why wouldn’t they want Susie to hear something like that? A smile spread across her face, and she finally stepped away from the window now that she had been given permission to stay. Honestly, if it had come out that Kris wanted to be alone, she probably would’ve jumped right back out in her shame. 

“Heh. Good, ‘cause you don’t have a choice!” She replied with a laugh. Advancing further into the room, Susie looked around, trying to find anything to distract her from the warm feeling in her chest. Stupid Kris and their stupid ability to always make her nervous. Maybe it was the way they were speaking right now, using their soft voice instead of the usual confident, projecting one. Susie stepped over, and Kris straightened as she got closer to them, feeling around their bedside table. “Geez, it’s so dark in here. I’m surprised Ralsei hasn’t materialized in the freaking corner or something. Wouldn’t put it past him.” 

She clicked on the lamp next to Kris’s bed, wincing at the light before she blinked, letting her eyes adjust. She looked at Kris again, and they tipped their head down so their hair kept their face covered. Susie squinted, puffing a gust of air in their face so their bangs split out of the way. She caught the briefest glance of wide, red eyes before one of Kris’s hands was scrambling to fix it, the other pushing at her bare arm. Susie laughed, turning away and glancing over at the bed that had been offered to her earlier. Asriel’s bed looked pristine and perfect, likely untouched for a very long time. Susie walked over, patting the pillow at the head. Yeah, this would do nicely. She turned, letting herself fall onto the bed, her back propping up against the wall so she was sitting. She looked over at Kris, tucking her hands behind her head and smiling. 

They were just staring at her. They idled in place, like they were unsure what to do. Susie puffed an amused noise at them. “Geez, relax, why don’t you? Stay a while!” 

Kris glanced again at their discarded sweater in the corner, giving it no more than a second or two of their time before they backed into their bed, sitting down on the edge. Susie looked them up and down, taking in the way they kept their head low, slouching over themself in silence. They must be pretty exhausted, but they never showed it like this. They always kept their head held high, even after battling away with the toughest of enemies. The Titan was like nothing they had ever seen, though. Susie was still in awe that they got to walk out of that alive. 

“Tired?” She questioned, kicking a foot up and down off of the floor. “You look it. God, what even was today, huh?”

“Long,” Kris replied. They produced their phone from their pocket, taking a quick glance at the screen before they turned it off. They stuffed it under their pillow, and Susie raised a brow, but didn’t mention it. It took a lot of energy that Kris didn’t have to get comfortable on the bed, but the warmth they felt when looking over and seeing Susie there made them work harder. She was here with Kris, alone, with no soul to pull the strings and direct the conversation. The words that fell from their lips were their own. 

They put on a soft smile for her, and Susie took a second to appreciate how nice it looked on them. A smile from Kris was a rare sight, and Susie wondered what she had done to be rewarded with one. Maybe they were just glad she was here. The thought made Susie pull her eyes away, looking instead at her jacket hanging on the chair. 

“You can say that again. It feels like we haven’t been able to catch a break, we’ve been in and out of dark worlds all freakin’ day!” Susie puffed out. On her fingers, she counted along, “Three whole fountains, dude! Four if you count last night with Tenna! Man.” 

She tucked her hand behind her head again, watching Kris give a soft hum and nod along to her words. “We’re alive,” they mumbled, tipping their head to the side. “Crazy.”

Susie puffed out an amused noise. Kris was still speaking so softly, it made her squint. There was nothing wrong with that, of course, since Susie could hear them just fine, but… Well, she didn’t know. It felt like whenever Kris did choose to speak, they did so with a firm, decisive tone most of the time. The softer voice was reserved for when they would mumble sly comments to her to get her to laugh, or to annoy her and Ralsei to get them all worked up. Maybe they just didn’t have much energy for speaking right now, but still pushed through for Susie. She felt her tail twitch behind her, swishing back and forth. 

“It is crazy. I still can’t believe my stupid idea actually worked,” she went on, puffing out a laugh. She remembered the thought occurring to her, seeing the old man next to her in battle had reminded her of all the things he had shown her. She remembered looking at Kris, reaching out for them and asking them to trust her, and the look they gave back before taking her hand. They had put their life in her hands at that moment. Really, everyone’s lives were banking on whether it worked or not. In hindsight, the pressure of taking a chance like that might’ve made her crumble and rethink it, but something about being with Kris and the others, having them look at her with absolute belief in her was empowering in a way she couldn’t explain. 

She looked at Kris, quiet for a few seconds as she took in their tired smile. She huffed out a laugh. “I wasn’t sure if you would trust me. I’m kind of still in shock that you did!”

Of course they trusted her. Kris would follow her to the ends of the earth, especially after today. Maybe it had been reckless at the time, agreeing to a plan that could’ve easily gone sideways, but it had worked and that’s all that mattered. Susie was the reason they were even here right now.

They leaned back against the wall, relaxing there like Susie was. It was nice to desire something and actually be able to go through with it. Their body was tired, but it was theirs, so Kris could deal with it. They gazed across the room at Susie, meeting her piercing yellow eyes. They wondered if she noticed anything different about them. Kris didn’t know if they wanted her to or not; the idea of Susie finding out was exhilarating in a way, but there was an unease in Kris that they always felt when they thought about this for too long. There was always the possibility that Susie wouldn’t like the real Kris. She didn’t know that she was friends with the soul, she didn’t know that only certain moments with Kris were real. They could love and cherish her friendship to pieces, but it would mean nothing if Susie decided she didn’t like them soulless. Kris looked down at their hands, quiet for a moment.

“I trusted it would work,” they replied with a shrug. Then they eyed her. “You were going to throw me in alone, though. Cold-hearted.” 

Susie’s brows raised, and she sputtered out a few nonsense words before sitting up off of the wall. “Well– I thought–!“ She scowled, waving her attempts at replies away, jabbing a finger across the room toward Kris. “At least I didn’t! I jumped with you because if… if it wouldn’t have worked…” 

Then what was the point? Her lips pursed as she leaned back against the wall, gazing at Kris for a good long while. She knew that they didn’t mean it that way, they just liked to say things to rile her up sometimes. It didn’t stop her from thinking, though, about what had been going through her head just earlier today. Her hands settled at her lap, nails picking at the rips in her jeans. 

“I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if what I did had gotten you killed,” she went on, hating the feeling that rose in her chest at the thought. What if she would’ve thrown Kris, and it didn’t work? What if the Titan would’ve swallowed them whole and that was the end of it — just her, Ralsei, and the old man trying to figure out a way to kill the thing without Kris’s leadership, without the power of their soul to light the way? Susie didn’t want to take that chance. As selfish as it sounded, she didn’t want Kris’s blood on her hands. She didn’t want to live on without them as the reason for their death. 

She turned her face away, gazing at the rain pattering against the window. It was so relaxing to watch, safe and warm in the room. Susie could feel Kris still looking at her, always waiting on her next word. She didn’t know how to admit what she felt. What would Kris say if she told them that she saw no point living if they weren’t? How could she begin to explain that she felt she had no purpose being here if it couldn’t be with them? 

She gazed at Kris from the corner of her eye, and gave a shrug. “If you were going down, I’d rather it be both of us. Can’t have you taking all the glory.”

Kris let out a breathy laugh, shaking their head and looking down at their hands again.

The music downstairs hadn’t gotten any quieter, but between the pouring rain and Susie’s confessions, Kris didn’t think it bothered them anymore. They had something else to focus on. The pest in its cage had yet to make a scene, which Kris was thankful for yet still suspicious. Maybe it couldn’t see anything with the sweater thrown over it, or maybe it was waiting for the perfect moment: a lull in the conversation, or the quiet that would follow when the music was turned off downstairs. Either way, Kris was tense.

It was nice to see Susie open up again, though, like she did this morning in the diner. She had come all the way back and scaled Kris’s house in the rain just to not be alone. She was trusting Kris with a part of herself again, even if she tried to play it off at the end. That decision to jump into the Titan must have really spooked her. She had acknowledged the possibility of it killing them and still charged on with Kris in her arms. Susie could overcome anything if she put her mind to it, but they supposed that’s what she was in the prophecy for. 

It was warming to think about how Kris and Susie were always fated to have met. The cage and the girl, the two lightners. Then again, was it even really Kris? It was the soul that did everything. It was the soul that led the group, that made every decision, that obliterated the Titan. Kris was just the body, the vessel, the cage. It wouldn’t make a difference who it possessed. It would be just the same if it were anyone else. 

Kris huffed out a breath. “I’m sure you could do it without me.” 

There was silence before the bed was creaking under Susie as she sat up. “What?” 

Kris blinked, looking over at her. They shrugged, turning an idle look toward the birdcage. “I don’t really do much. You guys could manage.” 

Susie’s expression twisted up in confusion. What was Kris even talking about? How could they shrug and say that stuff like it was no big deal, like they weren’t implying their role in the group didn’t matter? It was just plain ridiculous, and Susie couldn’t wrap her mind around why Kris had even said it at all. Where was this coming from?

“Firstly, I seriously doubt we could,” she put in with a laugh, though it was far from entertained. “You’re prophesied to be a hero, just like me and Ralsei! None of us can do what you do, that’s why it’s the three heroes, not two or one! We wouldn’t be able to do it without you the same way you wouldn’t be able to do it without us!”

She crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall after making her point. Despite having said what she did, she still didn’t feel satisfied, like the weight of what they were discussing wasn’t really landing. How could Kris drop something like that with a shrug? Were they just fine with the possibility that they could’ve died to the Titan, that they could’ve left Susie behind? 

Kris opened their mouth to speak, but nothing came. Susie frowned, feeling more words burning on her tongue before she was sitting up again, throwing her hands out in wild gestures.

”And– And that’s not to mention what I would do! I can’t do what you do! I can’t seal the fountains, I can’t lead people, I can’t do anything!” Susie shouted, though she was sure the two downstairs wouldn’t be able to hear. She didn’t mean to raise her voice either, but she couldn’t just sit here and listen to Kris talk like that and not say something! Were they even realizing what they were implying? “Imagine if something happened to you! You expect me to be able to just come back here and have things go back to how they were before? I– I don’t have anyone here except… except you. So if I hear you talking like that again, I’m going to kick your ass for real this time!” 

She threw her arms together, crossing them over her chest again with a great big huff. Kris stared at her, she could feel their gaze from across the room even though their eyes were hidden behind their bangs. She had a sixth sense for when Kris was looking at her, but she didn’t look back, squinting at the sweater thrown over the birdcage.

Kris snapped their mouth shut. They gazed at her, face turned away like she couldn’t stand to look at them anymore. They felt a stone plummet into their gut, but they couldn’t find the words to reply. Why did Susie care so much? It was horrible to see her get so worked up and preach about how she cared for a person she didn’t even know. Kris didn’t deserve this. They didn’t deserve the affirmations she was trying to convince them of. 

The worst part is that Kris still felt what they said was true. Susie might not know the extent of what they were talking about, but maybe it was better that way. They couldn’t imagine how she would react if Kris told her the real reason they felt like they didn’t matter all that much. They felt practically nonexistent these days, a spectator in their own life. Were they even Kris at this point? Did it matter to anyone that they weren’t?

“...Okay,” they whispered, barely audible over the rain and music. Their eyes fell to the floor, bringing a hand up to scratch behind their neck. They didn’t mean for it to get like this. They could never just have a normal conversation with somebody, huh? “I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

Susie looked over at them with narrowed eyes, tongue still hot with more words she wanted to say. She fell quiet when looking at them, though, at the way their smile fell into that empty expression they always wore. She had made things tense, and despite how angry that comment had made her, an apology didn’t sound right coming from Kris. Her lips pursed into a frown, and she gazed at Kris for a few more quiet seconds before letting out a huff.

“It’s… fine, I didn’t mean to yell. I get it, y’know?” Susie murmured. Kris looked up at her, and she contemplated her words for a moment, drawing in a deep breath. “I know what it’s like to… feel like you don’t really matter. Like you don’t have a proper place in the world. I’ve felt like that for a really long time, and it sucks. It sucks feeling like nobody really knows me, y’know? Like, they only know the version of me they see at first glance, and I’m more than that, but no one… no one gives a damn to find out.” 

She turned to the side, giving a long, steady gaze at her jacket hanging off of the chair. It was hard talking about this, when she’s never really had the chance to verbalize it before. It was nerve-wracking in a way, explaining such vulnerable parts of herself to someone else. But she trusted Kris to hear her out, to listen and understand. They always listened. She wished she could hear them open up someday, too.

Susie turned to look at them again, giving a soft huff. “Meeting you and Ralsei, though, you guys make me feel so… real. It feels like you look at me and you actually see me, the real me, not the version of me that everyone else thinks of. You make me feel like I can just be me and not have to worry about anything, and I…” She brought a hand up, fingers twining around a strand of hair and twisting it around her nail. Susie looked off again, finding it hard to look at Kris as she continued. “I want you to… to feel that way with me too. L-Like you don’t have to pretend to be so okay all the time, y’know? You always seem so unbothered by everything that happens, but I know it weighs on you too. I can see it sometimes.” 

Kris couldn’t stop watching her once their eyes were back up, their gaze stuck on her as she spoke, how she came up to play with her hair and how she couldn’t look their way as though she could feel Kris’s eyes burning into her. Even when upset, even when confronting a heavy topic, she was pretty. Susie went on.

“Today, I kept looking at you and it seemed like there was so much that you wanted to say, but you didn’t. L-Like there was something on your mind that you were keeping from me– from us.” She gave a frustrated huff, like her words weren’t coming out right. Her cheeks were flushed in embarrassment, and as she went on, her voice grew softer, losing confidence in herself the longer Kris sat there, silent. “I know you’ve got your own things going on, but I want… I want you to feel like you don’t have to hide anything from me. I want you to know that I-I can listen too, that I want…” 

She fell into silence, giving Kris another embarrassed glance before she was gazing off toward the window again. Her nail drew lines against her palm. 

“I’m starting to sound crazy, aren’t I?”

“...No,” they murmured in response. Kris loved hearing about Susie, they loved getting a peek into her head and hearing how she felt about things. The only thing was that with the confession came the curiosity, the underlying questions for Kris to answer. She wanted it to be known that Kris could talk to her, and while they trusted her immeasurably, it was hard to find the right thing to say. What could they let slip that wouldn’t have her hate them forever? How much could they explain before Susie was second guessing who Kris was? Would she trust them anymore? “I get it. I…” 

Susie looked over at them, and Kris turned away. They bit their lip, like they were trying to find the right words to say. It was weird for Susie to witness, when Kris always seemed so confident in their words. It was strange to see them curl in on themself, fingers picking at their pants, words trailing off. Susie waited, though. She waited for them to find what they wanted to say, and after a couple more seconds, Kris turned to her again. Their lips pursed tightly for a few, contemplative seconds before they were speaking again.

“Can… Can you sit with me?” They asked, and their voice was meek. Kris winced at how pathetic they sounded, and they probably looked the part too. They should just ask Susie to bite their head off. Damn it. “I, um… I want to talk to you, I just… I don’t know… how.” 

Susie blinked, brows raised at the question. She turned the request over in her head, and as soon as it processed that Kris was asking her to come closer, she sprung to her feet.

“I— Sure! I can, ahem, come over.” She cleared her throat, trying to make it seem like the speed in which she jumped up was actually very casual. She was going to ignore the way Kris puffed out a soft laugh.

When had Kris ever made a request like this? She didn’t want them to get embarrassed to have asked, so she had to play it cool. To make a show of how normal she was being about this, she slowly stepped closer, looking around the room like everything else was more interesting than the conversation at hand. Her eyes lingered on the “trophy” she had graciously awarded them this morning. 

Susie glanced down at the open space in the bed, then at Kris, who turned away as she hovered over them. Susie took a seat next to her friend, and she watched them bounce in place as she got comfortable, the thought of her shaking them around with the slightest movements nearly enough to make her laugh. She had to focus, though! Kris was trying to open up after Susie had practically gotten to her hands and knees and begged them to. She didn’t want to mess this up. 

“We don’t have to talk about anything crazy,” she started, turning to look at them. They were playing with their hands, and Susie couldn’t help but be aware of how close they were right now. She looked to the side, ignoring the way her leg tapped into theirs. “It can be anything! Like, uh… It was cool getting to hear you play piano today. Noelle said you used to play all the time, but that you kind of just stopped after a while.”

She let her claws play with themselves, glancing over at Kris to see if that was a good enough prompt. It wasn’t too heavy, like some of the other things Susie was wondering about them – how they felt about the prophecy, about the Titan, about Ralsei… Seeing them play piano was a nice highlight of the day that she hoped wasn’t too invasive to talk about. There must be some reason that they lost their spark for the instrument, and why they tried to brush off how good they really were through most of today’s musical encounters. Seeing them really let loose and play from the heart, it was like a whole new part of Kris was opening up to them, profound expression without ever needing to utter a word. 

“You gotta admit, it’s pretty incredible,” she breathed out in a laugh. 

Kris turned away and let out a huff. God, of all the things she could ask about, she had to pick the piano. It was strange how today’s dark worlds had so many piano themed puzzles. The church had an organ, sure, but they didn’t think it’d become such an integral part of the world. They also didn’t think the soul would care about Kris’s connection to the instrument, but after feeling the sparks of annoyance and shame each time they were sat before a piano just to tap out the wrong keys, they guessed the soul finally got the hint that it couldn’t play as well as Kris could. It let them go, just for a moment, and finally let Kris say something through the music. The relief and excitement that washed over them when realizing they could take over and play for their friends at least once, was like pulling out one of the millions of strings stuck in them. They missed playing. They missed when Noelle would try to listen without interrupting when Kris visited, they missed tapping out a small tune at the hospital whenever they happened to be there. They missed when their mom would let them linger at church after a service, waiting for everyone to file out so they could play something quick. 

“Eh.” They made a so-so motion with their hand, and smiled when Susie squinted at them. “It was okay, I guess.” 

“You guess? You were shredding that organ in the dark world!” Susie pushed her shoulder against them, grinning at the way they nearly tipped over. “You call that just okay?” 

“Fine,” they breathed out in a laugh, pushing Susie back. “It was nice.”

It was more than nice. It was freedom. Still, Kris needed to be careful when picking their words. They cleared their throat, eyes staring at their lap, at their knees, at the spot where Susie’s leg connected with theirs. They could feel her presence beside them, her weight sinking the mattress down further next to them and unintentionally making Kris lean towards her. She was so close, but it didn’t make Kris that nervous. Being next to her was as normal as breathing nowadays, a sense of comfort washing over them when knowing Susie was close by. The two had taken bullets for each other, had jumped into danger with no hesitation to help each other, what was the harm in touching shoulders?

Kris sighed, leaning into her. Their arm, bare and prickling with too much feeling, pressed flush against Susie’s. They hummed, “I want to play again.”

Susie’s brows raised as she felt cool skin against her, and she cast a brief glance toward them. Her hands still fiddled together, and she looked down at her claws with a smile, but didn’t mention anything about the contact. It was nice to feel them against her.

“You should, I liked watching you. Maybe we can go over to Noelle’s more! I mean, I know I kind of got kicked out, but what’s Carol gonna do if I just show up again?! It’s not like she’s ever there anyway.” Susie puffed, rolling her eyes and looking over at Kris with a grin. She was sure they wouldn’t be opposed to the idea, and Noelle would probably be down for it too. She seemed just as entranced by Kris’s music as Susie had been. “Noelle would probably like to listen again too.”

Kris hummed at the mention of the Holidays. It was nice getting to play there too, relieving to find they hadn’t forgotten after all that time. It was relaxing for a while, up until the soul decided it wanted to be a nuisance and Carol had come home. For a moment, Kris let themself get lost in the memory of watching Susie get told off, when Dess’s guitar was taken and Noelle was herded to the kitchen. Susie had smiled and proudly announced to Carol that she was taking her daughter to the festival. Had Susie said that just to upset her? Was it just in the moment, or did she really mean it? If they went together, Kris would have no choice but to break apart, if they even went at all. They wouldn’t be able to bear seeing Noelle blush and stutter and giggle with Susie. It would make that hot burn in their chest grow.

Kris didn’t say anything, and Susie took this as an invitation to keep going. “Maybe Noelle would let us borrow the guitar! Then you can show off those sick skills you kept hidden!”

Kris blinked down at their lap, brows furrowing together as they turned up toward Susie. It took them a second to figure out what she was talking about, and once it connected, Kris pursed their lips into a frown. They turned away again.

“Er… I don’t like to play in front of people.” A half truth. It was easier to say that than to explain that playing guitar was, in fact, not a skill Kris possessed. The soul was fully responsible for the insane shredding on Tenna’s show, and Kris cursed the stupid thing for putting them in this situation. 

Susie turned to look at them, watching them fiddle with their hands. Hearing them admit that they didn’t really like to be watched was a little disheartening, but they never said anything about not liking to be heard. Maybe they felt pressured when eyes were directly on them. Susie could understand that. Though, it could’ve been cool to start a band or something. Who knew the three of them had so much musical chemistry!

“Well, that’s okay. I don’t have to be looking at you, I just like listening.” She hummed, gazing around the room. It looked cozy in the lamplight, and Susie was starting to feel warm – but maybe Kris was just rubbing off on her. “We should hang around the church sometime when nobody’s there. Father Alvin– that’s his name, right? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind letting us have the place for a little bit. That way it can be just you and me. Maybe then you can teach me something, like you said.” 

Kris smiled, turning their gaze over at Susie. They would love nothing more than to play with her. If she really wanted to, Kris would find a way to make it happen. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Susie grinned, pushing into Kris again. She took a second to just look at them, appreciating their warm smile before they were turning down to look at their hands again. Kris was being so funny right now. Maybe funny wasn’t the right word, but they were certainly acting differently, from how talkative they were being even down to the way they just carried themself. Slumping against Susie, fidgeting with their hands – she kept noticing little details that would probably fly over her head if it were anyone else. That’s the thing, though, Kris wasn’t like anybody else. They were unlike anyone she had ever met. Maybe that was why they stood out to her so much since the beginning.

“...Y’know what the craziest part about all of this is?” She spoke after a spell of silence. She lifted a hand, adjusting the strap of her tank top that had been falling loose. Her hand brushed against Kris’s shoulder, but she didn’t mention it, tipping her head to the side to look at them. She huffed out a laugh. “If you would’ve told me a week ago that I was gonna scale Kris Dreemurr’s house in the pouring rain to break into their room just to hang out – I would’ve flipped my shit and finally beat you up.”

Despite their fading energy, that simple comment was enough to have Kris lean up, puffing out a laugh and bringing a hand up to try and stifle it. Susie was absolutely right. If anyone – even worse if it was Kris – said that they’d one day end up close friends, Susie would’ve thrown them up against a locker again.

Even back then, when Susie didn’t like Kris for whatever reason and bullied them at every chance she could get, they were still touching somehow. It was funny how that never really changed. She could catch them and toss them up with one arm like she did in the dark world, or she would lock their head under her arm to give them a noogie, but days ago it would’ve been different. Susie would lift them with one arm and slam them into a locker, or grab their head to snarl and yell in their face. They wondered why she had singled them out. Was it because they were the only human in town? Was it because Kris never told anyone and got her in trouble? Was it because she, if only a little, saw a bit of herself in Kris and resented it? 

Kris puffed. “Heh. Yeah,” they replied in a whisper, glad that Susie was close. If Kris would’ve told her a week ago that they’d be pressed beside her, cozy in their room together, that might’ve been her final straw. “You would’ve threatened to bite my face off again. Or stuffed me in a locker, classic style.” 

Susie laughed. “Yeah, I bet you would’ve liked that.” 

She eyed Kris from the side, eyes lingering on their smile. They were thinking back to all the times Susie messed with them, and they were smiling, like it was a sweet memory to warm their heart. The sight puzzled her, because Susie couldn’t find what Kris was reminiscing about. The way Susie treated them before was horrible, but Kris was an easy target. They never stood up for themself, practically letting Susie use them as a punching bag, and she couldn’t wrap her mind around how lightly they were speaking of it. There was no way they just didn’t care, but they always brushed her off or ignored her, or even on the rare occasion they would laugh. Susie frowned at the thought, her claws picking at themselves.

It was easy to joke about now, but the things she said to them, day in and day out… It was shameful, thinking back on it. Kris made it seem like it didn’t bother them, but Susie knew that it had to mean something. Kris knew they were different, that they were an outcast in their own hometown, that they didn’t and would never really fit in. Susie would always throw it in their face, remind them of their faults and differences, of what others should hate them for. 

But at the end of the day, was it ever really about Kris? 

Susie huffed, thoughts jumbling together in her head, the warm feeling she had moments before feeling tight in her stomach. She didn’t want to talk about this, about what she used to subject Kris to before. But she was so curious, so astonished by Kris’s ability to laugh it off, to still let Susie get close to them after everything she did to them. 

“I don’t get how you can just… move on,” she grumbled, and her voice was low, quiet. She wasn’t sure if she even really wanted to be heard, but the words were already out there. She couldn’t look Kris in the face, her eyes lingering on their hands instead. “How can you still be friends with me after everything I put you through? Do you just not care, I– I said so many horrible things to you, and you always seemed so unfazed. B-But some part of you has to hold it against me, right?”

Kris turned to look at her, brows raised. The last thing they would’ve expected Susie to talk about was her own faults, but it went even beyond that. She was asking a serious question, asking Kris why they gave her a second, third, hundredth chance to get close. She was asking why they were friends right now, why Kris didn’t stay mad at her for what she did.

The answer to that was… well, there wasn’t really one. Even Kris didn’t know, but it was a decision they had made long before the soul started tampering with things. Susie had locked onto them not long after her arrival, and instead of holding their head up or giving her an attitude, they just stared at her. Any time she raised her voice or growled or even went as far as to grab them on her worse days, Kris never did anything but watch. Sometimes they felt bad, some days their mouth would open and they'd hesitate, wanting to say something nice and wondering later why they wanted to say something like that in the first place.

Maybe it was because there was a familiarity to her. There was something about her that Kris recognized, something in the way she portrayed herself that they could almost see through. They always knew there was more to her, that she was different too. They looked at her and they understood her, and they knew with time that she would come around and she would find that they had more in common than she thought. Maybe a part of Kris knew their lives were destined to connect, so it didn’t matter what she did. They didn’t care.

”I don’t.” They leaned forward in an attempt to get her to look back up, and they were proud of how their answer sounded. Quiet and maybe even a bit rough, but not unsure. They didn’t want Susie to have any doubts about their friendship. Kris cherished the relationship they had with her, even if it might not be theirs to truly enjoy. “You’re my best friend.”

Susie blinked at the words, turning to look at Kris only to find them gazing back at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came, the girl finding herself to be the one speechless for once. She could only stare at Kris, feeling her chest swell with a concoction of emotions that she couldn’t quite pick out. Warmth, relief, disappointment. Part of her wasn’t sure if she could really believe it as much as she wanted to, as much as the words falling from Kris’s tongue made her stomach flip. 

Could they really say that after only knowing her for a handful of days? Could either of them claim they even really knew each other? What if this closeness only came from their circumstances, their bond only forged by their shared experiences? Would they have ever gotten closer if they never fell into the Dark World? Would they ever have talked, held each other, looked at each other with utter trust and belief the way they did today? 

Would this even last after they figured everything out? Susie bit her lip, turning away from Kris. 

“Don’t say that,” she muttered, the words crawling out of her despite her chest tightening. Kris only thought Susie was their best friend because neither of them talked to anyone else – or, Susie didn’t. Kris knew everyone in town, they’ve been friends with Noelle since childhood, despite having grown apart as they got older. If they wanted to, she was sure that flame could easily be reignited. Kris had a family, neighbors that cared for them, a community that watched them grow up and each had their own impact on their life no matter how small. Susie was just an intruder. She barged into this town and made her own horrible name for herself that she would never be able to shake, and she thought she could just have Kris after having done nothing to make up for it?

“I’m not… I’m not a good person, alright? I don’t deserve to be your friend after everything I did.” She huffed out a breath, feeling guilty that she was allowing herself to have Kris close to her right now. She couldn’t find the heart to pull away, though. “Everyone knows it. I haven’t done anything to change, I shouldn’t have a friend. I… I don’t deserve you.” 

Susie brought her hands up to her face, massaging her eyes with a heavy sigh. Under her breath, she whispered, “Damn it. What am I even doing here?”

Kris didn’t know what to say. They stared at her, watching her cover her face. This wasn’t something they were good at, comforting words didn’t occur naturally to them. When they were younger, there were times where they’d go a little too far with their pranks and Noelle’s shrill squeals would turn into cries. They would get pulled over by a parent or even Asriel or Dess and were told to apologize and make her feel better, but it was always unnatural and awkward. Nowadays when things got tense, the soul was there to handle it. It made Kris compassionate, but that wasn’t really them. It was the soul that would step forward, forcing their mouth open and offering reassurances that felt too embarrassing to say, yet it always seemed to work. A hug to Ralsei, words of encouragement to Susie, sweet gestures to reassure their friends — they hated that it was what was expected from them now. They resented the fact that if their soul was in control, it would probably know what to do. 

Susie’s hands pressed into her eyes, holding there as she drew in a deep breath, letting it out shakily. She didn’t want to cry, not in front of Kris. She would never let herself have peace if that happened, so she tried to console herself. Beside her, Kris shifted, and Susie couldn’t look at them as they tried to find something to say. It was strange to hear them at a loss for once. It seemed like Kris was always so confident, never questioning themself before speaking, never having doubt. They were prepared for anything, so it made the guilt in Susie’s chest double knowing that she was the reason they were so unsure now.

“...You’ve changed,” they replied, their voice a low mumble. They pursed their lips, mulling the words over in their head for a second before continuing. “Or, uh, you’ve… opened up, at least.” 

Not a great start, but Kris didn’t know what else to say! All they knew was that Susie was wrong about herself, but how could they tell her that without making things worse? She thought she didn’t deserve Kris, but did they even deserve her? Was it fair for them to want this friendship with her when nearly all of their interactions with her up until this point were monitored and controlled? Most of their moments together were directed by the soul, but they still decided to be selfish. Kris was going to hold on tight regardless of that miserable organ’s interference. 

“I don’t care if you think you’re a good person or not. I’m not a saint either,” they put in, and they felt the unease in their stomach settle a bit as Susie puffed out a soft laugh. She lowered her hands, turning to look at them now, and Kris swallowed down their nerves. They lifted a hand, and it hovered in the air with hesitance before they pushed forward, letting it settle against her broad shoulder. “Last I checked, you take what you want. When have you ever cared what somebody else had to say?”

Susie was quiet, and she glanced down at the hand on her shoulder. Their skin was cold, but Susie found the sensation to be grounding. She drew in a breath, breathing it out slowly. Maybe Kris was right. Maybe she didn’t deserve it, maybe she did, but either way Kris was here because they understood. They got her, in a way that no one else could. Especially now after everything they two of them had gone through, but even before that, they had an unexplainable connection. It was what had drawn her to them from the start, seeing someone so similar to her and knowing if anyone could understand her pain, it would be them. She just wished she hadn’t been the one to inflict it.

Susie huffed out a sigh, looking up from Kris’s hand and taking in their face again. Their expression gave nothing away, but the hand on her shoulder twitched, their hold tightening the slightest bit. Susie leaned into them, tickled by the way Kris swayed as she did so. “Y’know what? You’re right.” 

Like always, Kris knew just what to say. It was funny to think that all it took was a couple words to get her back on track. She couldn’t count how many times she needed that, only to find herself alone and festering in hatred for everything and everyone. It seemed like the only person that ever really understood her was Kris. They were the only person that tried.

Her hands clenched, and she stared at Kris for a few, quiet moments. Something in her prompted her to move, to reach forth the same way Kris had done to her, to settle her hands on them or wrap herself around them. Her hands twitched, and one raised, hovering in the air for a second before she caught herself, nerves jumbling together in her abdomen. She wondered if Kris was able to tell that the passing thought of a hug had crossed her mind, but before they could even get the chance to point anything out, Susie threw her hand forward. She grabbed Kris’s head and shoved them over, laughing at the way they flopped over like a sack of potatoes, landing face-down into their pillows with no resistance.

“You’re my best friend whether you like it or not, twerp! You’re stuck with me!” She cackled.

Kris had really thought she was going to lean in. It was like she had realized the moment had gotten too real, too quiet and emotional. It was nice to see her smile though, even if it was only for a split second.

They were glad she snapped out of that line of thinking. Seeing her so upset made something inside of Kris shrink and shrink until they were desperate to make her feel better. They felt awkward and uncomfortable, but they had to pull it together for her. After today, Susie was more than just a best friend – she was more important to them than anyone else. Through danger and chance of death, through pain and hell, Susie was there. She was their one consistency. As long as she was smiling, things would be fine. As long as she still liked them, soul or not.

“Crap, I’m gonna be your sidekick forever now,” they droned, voice muffled into the pillow. They tried to sneak a look at her, turning their face to the side and peeking from the corner of their eye. The desire to push back up and wrestle her was strong, and with sore arms, Kris attempted to lift themself back up. “Forced to lick your boots and buy you food.” 

Susie snickered at the words. “Yeah, exactly! What else are you here for?” 

She watched them struggle to get back up, their arms quivering in their attempt to pick themself up beneath her strength. She tipped her head to the side, a malicious grin spreading across her features at the show before her. Kris was so funny. They could withstand hit after hit from a horror beyond their comprehension, but couldn’t fight off one of Susie’s hands. This kid was a riot. 

“Having a little trouble there?” She teased. She couldn’t help it – Kris acted all mysterious and tough around everyone else, but Susie had to remind them that she could kick their ass if it came down to it. Maybe it’d knock them off that high horse they were always riding. She pushed Kris down again, feeling satisfaction surge through her at the sight of them flattening down against the bed again like a wimpy pancake. She laughed, finally drawing her hand back. That’s what they get for making her feel like this, all warm and seen. She tutted, “I know that fight was draining, but man, you didn’t even try to resist right now! What, you already know you don’t stand a chance?”

”I’m going easy on you,” they responded, lips spreading in joy despite their arms shaking as they pushed themselves back up. They debated getting the soul, at least so they could keep up this back and forth between them. Getting the soul, however, would mean no more decisions without a review, no more speaking without a sentence coming out in a tone that wasn’t theirs. It wasn’t fair, really. They wanted to mess with her some more, they wanted to keep talking and they wanted to roughhouse, they wanted to know why she was over at their house again with no call to her parents as a heads up. 

They wanted to know more about her. They already felt so close to her after being in situations that bonded them through tragedy and fear, but they wanted to know her outside of that. They wanted to know what she looked like when waking up in the morning. They wanted to race her to the bathroom and hear her get mad when they stayed in there for too long, they wanted to see if she’d notice if they changed the scent of the shampoo they use.

They wanted domesticity. That’s what they were asking for, wasn’t it? Kris felt a sharp heat spike through their insides before they were pushing themselves back up as quick as they could. Even their arms quivering didn’t amount to the shiver in their stomach, the creeping, nauseating feeling of realization.

The realization that Kris wouldn’t mind spending the rest of their life with her.

”You… You’re no match for me… at my full power.” They needed to rest their voice, their throat commanded it, but they just cleared it before speaking again. This was one of the few chances they got to be alone with her, in control. They were going to make the most of it, dammit. Kris forced themselves not to look at the cage, coughing pathetically before finally turning to Susie again and flashing her a toothy grin. “I’m unstoppable.”

Susie raised a brow at this, and she found that Kris’s smile was utterly contagious. She rarely got to see it since they were always wearing that stupid, uncaring expression. She wondered if they only did that when other people were around, if they tried to keep up some cool persona so that no one knew that they were actually a huge dork. But in a way, Susie felt special that she was allowed to see this side of Kris.

“Oh yeah? ‘Cause I’ve seen you at your full power, and ehh, can’t say I’m impressed.” She shrugged, turning away with an unamused expression – though she peeked at Kris from the corner of her eye, her lips twitching with the desire to smile. She let out a sigh, rolling her eyes and leaning back on her hands, kicking her feet back and forth. “Not to mention I’ve never once seen you raise a hand to any enemies this whole time! I get you’re all merciful or whatever, but I’m starting to think part of the reason is that you wouldn’t be able to handle yourself in a real fight.” 

She picked between her teeth with her pinky nail, giving a disinterested hum. Kris scoffed, trying to drop their smile but failing to do so. While sparing the enemies they encountered was entirely the soul’s choice, Kris was kind of glad they didn’t kill anybody, or at least attempt to. They didn’t know what would happen if the soul happened to be a malicious, making bad decisions left and right and having Kris deal with the consequences of it. They didn’t know if they’d be able to live with that on their conscience, but a part of them wondered if they’d really care at all. It didn’t help that they felt so disconnected from everyone, not really forming deep connections and relationships despite growing up with their neighbors. Kris didn’t think they’d ever cared so deeply about someone until recently. Losing control over their life really made them appreciate the little things.

Kris looked at her, narrowing their eyes at the way Susie tried to feign disinterest. She was baiting them, Kris knew she was but they were falling for it and the idea of trying to wrestle her off the bed and claim victory sounded really awesome right now. A battle of physical strength wouldn’t work with Kris feeling so exhausted, and the moment before was too tense to spit out some lighthearted insults. It seemed Kris had no comeback, unless…

Kris leaned over and bit her arm.

“GAH! Kris, you little–!” Susie grabbed them by the hair, the motion a little too familiar for her liking. She ignored it though, plucking the leech off of her and giving them an incredulous look. Kris winced, but they still peered at Susie with narrowed red eyes, lips spreading into a malicious grin. She scoffed out a laugh, squinting as the hot urge to compete rose in her. They thought they were so cute, huh? Susie growled, “That’s how you want to play? Fine!”

Despite knowing it was coming, Kris still gasped as she grabbed them by the arms, fighting to push them over. They struggled, their tired limbs providing no defense against Susie’s strength. Her grip was rough, nearly enough to bruise but Kris didn’t mention it. This was what Kris was used to, a part of Susie that was familiar to them. It wouldn’t be the same if she was hesitant to push and pull them around, so they allowed it, playing along and snapping their teeth at Susie to try and snag another bite. Her laugh was infectious, and Kris found they were lost in her smile, eyes stuck on her until a broad hand grabbed them by the face as Kris was finally shoved back against the pillows. 

“Ha!” Susie barked out, grinning at the way Kris couldn’t pick themself back up, trapped under Susie’s hands. Kris breathed out a laugh, trying to pull their face from Susie’s hold to no avail. She gripped them by the chin, her claws poking into the skin on their cheeks. Susie smiled down at them. “Turns out you are gonna end up losing your face after all…”

Kris stared at her, peering through their bangs as Susie’s eyes crinkled with her grin. Her gaze searched them, looking from their mess of hair to their flushed cheeks to their lips, puckered from the grip she had on their face. For a second, nothing happened. They were just looking at each other, and Kris’s breaths felt shallow in their chest, trapped and being picked apart beneath Susie’s eyes. It was only a few seconds more before she puffed out another laugh and started gnashing her teeth, leaning down toward Kris’s face. 

“Say goodnight,” she hissed, growling out a laugh. 

Kris did nothing for a second, staring at her with wide eyes before it clicked that she was getting closer. They wheezed out a laugh, trying to kick out from beneath her but she had them trapped. Hands grasped at her wrists, tugging helplessly before one hand lifted to push at her jaw in a final attempt to thwart her. 

“Wait,” they breathed out, flushing at the way Susie laughed at their struggle. “Mercy, mercy! That means spare me, jerk!” 

Susie cackled, trying to push her face past Kris’s hand. Mercy?! That word wasn’t even in her vocabulary!

”You should know by now that I can’t be tamed!” She growled, still gripping Kris’s face while trying to pull away from their hand. It wasn’t working very well, but if she let go of them to deal with it, they might escape! Then they would wriggle out from beneath her, and Susie wouldn’t get to watch them laugh and struggle under her hold, flushed and smiling while begging for her mercy. She wouldn’t get to appreciate the pink cheeks that lifted with their smile, though Kris was making it hard to look at anything with all of their fighting. “Eheh, cut it out, freak!”

Their hand persisted, and Susie let out another playful growl, eyes narrowing down at Kris and trying to sneak another look at their flushed face, their pretty red eyes they always kept hidden. They were looking right up at Susie.

Susie snarled out a laugh, then whipped her head toward Kris's fighting hand, her jaws opening and snapping over it – though it was more to scare Kris than anything. She took pleasure in the gasp they sucked in, red eyes growing even wider. Her teeth were gentle against their skin, wary of its softness as she shook the hand about like a dog with its favorite toy. It wouldn’t take much for Kris to pull away, but they didn’t, instead slapping their hand over their mouth in an attempt to quiet the laughter that wanted to burst out of them. Susie wished they would let themself be heard, and at the notion she lifted a hand and reached for Kris’s, wanting to pry it away from their face. She grasped their thin wrist in her claws, tugging it away and pushing it down against the pillow next to their head. 

“Susie!” Kris gasped out, and Susie loved the way her name sounded in that shrill, surprised tone. She had never heard them sound like that. They breathed out another laugh, and with that momentary distraction, they tugged their hand out from her jaws. A wet palm met with her face, and Kris was pushing her back again.

They couldn’t keep up at this rate. Their limbs burned with exhaustion, but Kris didn’t want it to stop. This was the most fun they’d had in ages, and after the day they’ve had, Kris wanted to bask in this joy forever. Susie’s laugh was addicting as they pushed at her face, her sharp teeth bared in a grin. They were pointed and dangerous, yet she had been so gentle despite threatening otherwise. She really was all talk, at least with Kris. They knew what she was capable of, yet here she was, careful with sharp teeth and claws that could pierce skin if she were a little more reckless. Kris took a second to wonder if they would mind if it happened, and as that thought distracted them, Susie was grabbing their other hand and fastening it down to the bed too. Kris puffed out a breathless laugh, their bangs splitting apart so they could see her clearly now, cheeks burning as she turned a devious grin down to them. 

“What now?” She growled, and Kris found themself speechless. They tried to pull their hands up, but Susie bore her weight into them, keeping them trapped. They let out a soft, defeated breath, and Susie’s grin widened. “All that fighting just to end up right back where you were.”

Kris bit their lip, contemplating their words for a moment before they ordered, “Release me.” 

“Or what?” Susie replied, her eyes narrowing in amusement. 

“Or I’m telling mom to never make you pancakes again.”

Susie hesitated. She considered the threat for no more than a few seconds before she was leaning closer. “I can live without pancakes. Who needs ‘em when I’ve got an apple-flavored wimp to feast on?” 

Crap. They really thought that would work. Their hands twitched in her hold, testing to see if she had loosened at all. They were just as stuck as they were moments ago, and as Kris's silence drew on, they watched Susie’s expression grow more triumphant. She was so proud of herself, huh? After all that talk from earlier, too. 

“...I thought you couldn’t live without me,” they murmured, and their lips spread into a smile as her eyes widened. Bingo. 

“I–” She puffed out an incredulous breath, shaking her head with a laugh. Her face felt hot, but she was choosing to believe it was from all of their tussling. How dare they bring that up now? “That’s not how I said it. A-And besides, I changed my mind, asshole.” 

“Mhm?” Kris hummed, twisting their hands in her hold. They watched Susie’s gaze flit between them before her eyes were settling on theirs again. “Then do it.” 

They stared at each other, piercing red eyes locked onto narrowed yellow ones. Nothing happened for a moment. Kris didn’t struggle, Susie didn’t proceed… They watched her swallow, her lips pursed tightly as her gaze pored over them like she was sizing them up. She looked from their face to their hands, then down. The warmth in their cheeks didn’t subside as they watched Susie take in their position, and her brows furrowed a little bit as she looked up at Kris again. They didn’t look away. 

She let out a shallow breath. Susie released them. 

“F-Fine, you win, but only because I’m sparing you,” she huffed out in a laugh. She shifted, lifting her leg off and over Kris as she moved to get off of them. She squeezed into the space on the bed next to them, propping herself up on an arm as she looked down at the flushed, unmoving human next to her. “As much as I’d like to, I don’t think your mom would appreciate it if I mauled you. So you get to live… for now.” 

Kris turned to look at her, gaze following her every move. Even though they were free to move again, they simply laid there where Susie had left them, hands left against their pillow. She was so fun to watch, both her actions and the looks she gave. The way her eyes squinted or widened or glanced away, it was the most expressive feature of hers. Anyone could read her like a book if they just had the courage to look her in the eye for more than a few seconds. There was so much there, in yellow irises and a dangerous grin.

They wanted to fight more, but their body had given out at the end there. Finally, they moved their hands, tired arms shifting so they could lay them over their middle, letting them rest there. There was soreness with every movement, but Kris would take it if it meant their body was theirs to control. There was a certain comfort in the pain. 

“Mhm?” They hummed, amused as they looked at her.

Susie watched them, eyes searching their face as they gazed at her. She felt a little nervous, knowing that Kris was looking at her, and for so long at that. But this time, Susie willed herself not to look away. She didn’t shy away from Kris's gaze like how her instincts told her to, too entranced by their smile and the soft hum they gave as though to tease her for her actions. She squinted.

“Yeah. Those pancakes are too good to lose, I decided,” she replied with a grin. Then she put on a thoughtful expression, afterwards adding in an unconvincing tone, “And you too, I guess.”

Kris puffed out a soft laugh, and Susie took that as a win. She snickered, shaking her head and being the first to break the eye contact. She gazed around the room, and the dim, cozy lighting was starting to make her a little drowsy. She was still pretty exhausted from the events of today, and wrestling with Kris was the cherry on top despite how little effort it took on her end. Today brought her an exhaustion she had never experienced before; the day had felt so eternal with the nearly countless events that occurred from the moment Susie woke up in Kris's living room. Even just running everything through her head was making her tired…

Susie heaved out a sigh, and she glanced over at Asriel’s bed for a moment. She was quiet, turning a thought over in her head a bit before she shook it off. Nah, she wasn’t ready to go to sleep just yet. She would get up and make her way over when they were officially going to settle down. With a yawn, Susie shifted again, moving to lay against the pillows. She didn’t mention how she and Kris hardly fit next to each other like this, even though Susie was on her side facing them. She wasn’t going to point out that she was so close to Kris that she could catch the scent of their shampoo. Susie took in a deep breath as subtly as she could.

“...Man,” she grumbled, her voice low now that they were so close. The music downstairs persisted, but Susie had long since tuned it out by now. She blinked at Kris, eyelids slow and heavy before she gave in and let them close. “What a day. I could sleep for years.”

Kris stared at her, taking in the way she laid there next to them. Watching her was one of their favorite things to do. They loved to watch her face change, her narrowed eyes when she was annoyed, her expressive features when she would retell stories. It was even nicer to see her so relaxed, her voice a satisfying rumble. Their eyes were stuck on her, examining the hair that fell over her face, the ends of sharp teeth poking between her lips in some places, the subtle eyebags beneath her short lashes. 

“...Susie,” they whispered. She hummed in reply, but didn’t open her eyes. Kris swallowed, lips parted for a few quiet, contemplative seconds before they gathered their words together. “Can I… ask you something?”

There was something in their voice that had Susie blink her eyes open. She gazed at them, and she could see the slightest glint of red between strands of brown hair. She remained quiet for a second, letting herself ponder where Kris might be going with this. Though, Susie couldn’t predict Kris even if she tried. Sometimes she felt like she never really knew what was going on with them. It was so hard to get a reaction out of them most of the time, but there was still much for her to think about. The way they laughed at her jokes after tense moments, the way they gazed at her when they thought Susie wouldn’t notice, the way they seemed to pick her every single time when the choice arose… Man. She couldn’t wrap her head around them. 

Her nail drew a line against the bedsheet, and Kris watched. “...What?” She asked, searching Kris’s expression. “What is it?” 

THey said nothing, taking a moment to watch her open her eyes and slowly fill with worry as the moment went on. Kris didn’t want to make her panic, but it was just so interesting, watching her face change. Her expression had been calm and unbothered before it was slowly morphing to confusion, maybe even concern. Her eyebrows twitched slightly like they wanted to furrow, her finger moved and the soft sound of her picking at the bed was quiet. Kris resisted the urge to grab her hand, to make her stop fidgeting.

“Do you, um… remember when we were in class that one time, alone?” They paused, catching the skin of their lip between their teeth and debating their next words. Did she remember? Did she even want to? Was Kris using their freedom to ruin this moment with her? “...You woke me up when everyone was gone. Sat at the front, in Alphys’s chair… picked up that apple.”

Susie didn’t say anything. Why was Kris asking about this? She thought they were done with the topic of their previous relationship, why would they want to bring it up again? She debated saying no. Maybe it would make Kris drop it and move on, maybe they would brush away what they were going to say. Another part of her wanted to know where this was going, though. Everything Kris did had a reason, like when they chose to smile and snicker at the vile things she said to them that day, or when they chose to mutter those words that she couldn’t get out of her head for days. 

“...Yeah. ‘Course I do,” she replied, honest. Another spell of silence washed over her, and Susie closed her eyes again as though it would comfort her. Kris's gaze still burned her scales, and she wondered if they could tell she was nervous. Could they see the way her lips wanted to twitch into a frown, the way her brows pinched together as she replayed the memory, clear as though it had happened yesterday. She remembered Kris's face when she grabbed them by the hair. She remembered their smile that she thought about more times than she could count. She remembered their whispering voice, low and quiet just like how it was now. 

Susie peeked her eyes open, watching Kris, wary. If only they knew she thought about it every day. “...Why?”

Kris felt a tingle of satisfaction at her reply. They weren’t sure themself why they even brought it up, but it was rewarding in a way to hear that she thought about it too. The memory of her grabbing them like she had, gripping them by the hair and tugging them enough to make their scalp sting echoed in their head for a while. Kris thought about it all the time, the way she threatened them in such an odd way, the way she bit that apple so cleanly in half with no resistance, the way her face changed when Kris caught the half eaten fruit. She looked shocked, face blank as though she didn’t know how to react. Then she got pissed and one thing led to another. 

Kris remembered eyes peeking through a locker before Kris was opening it and closing it again without another word. No moment with Susie was ever truly theirs to enjoy alone.

“...I thought it was cool,” they mumbled, watching Susie’s brows furrow. Kris didn’t know where they were going with this. Maybe it was just an excuse to tell her that they remembered, that they liked the way it felt when it was just the two of them even before they became friends. They liked that she wasn’t scared to push them around, that she didn’t hide how she felt. They found themself craving that treatment and wondering why it was so addicting. Kris wasn’t going to unpack that, though. 

They eyed Susie. “Did you mean to make it obvious? That you were sniffing me all day in class?”

“...Shut up,” Susie growled after a spell of silence, her eyes narrowing at Kris. She lifted a hand, pushing their face away so they’d stop looking at her like that. Kris didn’t fight back, lying there limp. “You’re an asshole! Who chooses to smell like food anyway, freak? You’re just asking to get bit, and you’re making it pretty damn hard not to go through with it!” 

She held their face away as they laughed, and Susie kept them like that for a few more seconds until she decided her point was made. She pulled her hand back, and Kris turned to look at her again with a shit-eating smile. They knew they were being annoying, laughing in her face about something Susie found serious. It was the way things had always been, though. Susie remembered hating that passive smile, their knowing, prying gaze. Now, however, the sparks of anger that once coiled within her developed into… something else. Susie puffed, picking at the blanket some more and squinting at Kris. 

“Did you mean to make it obvious when you bit the same side of the apple that I did?” She growled in a laugh. Of course Susie noticed, how could she not? She had been so angry at the sight, mostly by Kris’s pure audacity, but at the same time… “If you wanted a taste of me, you should’ve just asked for a real kiss. I might’ve thought about it before I bit your head off.”

Kris’s eyes widened when she growled about the apple, the way she noticed the way Kris had tilted the apple in hand until their teeth sunk into the skinless part of the fruit. Nothing but a pale core and sticky juice. It had been a conscious decision, to turn it in their hand, but they didn't think Susie would notice something so unimportant. They wondered if she knew she was hitting a nail that Kris had put in themself.

“...Thought about it?” They echoed, and they weren’t even sure if they had heard her right. They replayed her words, and that heat in their chest seemed to double as they stared at her. Kris’s throat felt dry, and they wondered if Susie could see the flush on their skin spread to their ears. Their voice dropped to a whisper again. “...If I asked now, would you still bite my head off?”

Susie hadn’t realized the music had turned off downstairs until now. The silence between her and Kris was deafening, and Susie drew in a breath. She knew Kris wouldn’t let that comment slide. She knew they were going to latch onto it, and she couldn’t help but feel satisfied. What she didn’t expect was their reply, the question that made the nauseating nerves in her burst.

She puffed out a laugh, flustered and surprised, and she couldn’t find her words for a moment. She couldn’t believe this. Kris was trying to use their ridiculous flirting skill on her, and it was all part of the bit, wasn’t it? For a second there, Susie almost took the question seriously. She had caught herself considering it, entertaining the silly idea of fulfilling Kris's request. What would happen then? What would Kris do if she did lean closer, pushing her snout against them until she found their lips? What would they do if she brought a hand forth and cupped their face, soft skin against a rough palm? She wondered if she would get another taste of that apple pie from the diner, of the last scoop of ice cream she fed to them, of the breath they used to puff up the glass. 

Susie stared at them, and her fingers closed over the bedsheet, balling it into her fist. She gazed at them for much longer than what could be considered normal, and it was like she finally realized how lost in thought their stupid question had gotten her. Her brows narrowed, her smile growing sharper as she huffed out another laugh. 

“Yes,” she growled, squinting at them before she was digging under her head. She pulled out the pillow beneath her, propping herself up so she could whack it onto Kris's face, attempting to smother them. “Maybe you should save your flirting for the enemies, dumbass. You don’t get to make a fool out of me!” 

Kris laughed from beneath the pillow, hands flailing out to find her, clinging onto her arms. They tried to pull her off, but it wasn’t working out too well. Their body was sore, growing tired without the soul to power them, but Kris would deal with it. They kicked at her leg, but their pathetic attempts were ignored.

They weren’t going to admit that their question was genuine. What would Susie do if they asked her to make out with them, what would she do if they admitted these odd feelings to her? Kris didn’t think they’d mind kissing her. They already did things that were considered closer, didn’t they? Kris jumped in front of bullets for her, they went and faced hell together, what would be a kiss? Why did the thought of it get their insides more twisted up than the Titan had?

“You– You totally–” Kris struggled beneath the pillow, breaths shallow between their laughter. “You considered it!” 

Susie let out an embarrassed roar, pushing the pillow down harder. She hated that Kris could always seem to read her no matter how much she tried to guard herself from them. 

“The only thing I considered was the head-biting part,” she lied, pushing the pillow down harder. She laughed as Kris writhed and pushed at her, cold hands on her arms. Susie glared down at the pillow, scowling despite Kris not being able to see her expression. She stared at the item hiding Kris, finding it much easier to think when they weren’t looking at her. Her expressions always seemed to give her away, so if they couldn’t see her, then there was no problem.

And then Kris started making kissing sounds from beneath the pillow. It was obnoxiously loud even though they were covered, and their hands tugged at Susie’s arms, only they were pulling her closer instead of away. Regardless, Susie didn’t budge, but she glared down at the pillow.

God, they were being so annoying, and on purpose! The way they laughed and provoked her relentlessly proved it, and Susie hated that it was working. She hated that Kris always had a way of getting under her skin, even before they could be considered friends. They always knew how to piss her off, and even worse — to fluster her, even if that wasn’t their intention. Though, knowing now that Kris's actions that day with the apple were intentional, she was starting to question all of their other interactions too. How many times had Kris done or said something like that to bother her in this way, to fluster her and catch her off guard? Why were they messing around with her like this right now? Did they understand what it was doing to her? 

She stared down at the pillow, and she could imagine their shit-eating grin underneath it. They were being so bold today, toying with her like this. They’ve been so weird, so different, so… mesmerizing. Susie hated that they had her wrapped around their finger, flushing at their stupid jokes and their cold touches. She needed to get back at them somehow. She needed to catch them off guard like they were always doing to her. 

Susie shifted closer, the pillow still held over Kris's face. It was easy like this, knowing Kris was hidden and couldn’t see the cogs turning behind her eyes as the idea came to her. Susie growled out a laugh, making sure the pillow was secure over their face and it couldn’t be moved in the middle of this.

”Fine, since you want me so damn bad, freak” she teased, squinting at the obnoxious kissing beneath the pillow. Kris's face was just on the other side. Nerves swarmed in her gut, but she ignored it. It was just a pillow. 

Susie closed her eyes, and leaned down. She felt her snout press into the pillow, and she felt herself tense as she found the softest indent of Kris from the other side. Susie left the loudest kiss she could to the surface, making sure it was able to be heard from underneath. She leaned back up, and her face felt like it was boiling, though she willed herself to laugh at her ploy. Susie pulled the pillow off of their face, but she didn’t think she could bear to look at them right now. Instead, she tucked it back into its spot, laying back down and gazing up at the ceiling. She pursed her lips into a tight smile, intestines twisting up in hot embarrassment. 

“Y’know, you were onto something there. The pillow turned out to be a great kissing partner.”

Kris didn’t move. They couldn’t. They were stuck there, staring at the ceiling and drawing in a cold, fresh breath. The pillow had been pulled off of them, but their face wasn’t getting any cooler. The hairs on their arms raised, goosebumps prickling across their skin as Susie relaxed beside them again. Kris took another breath, trying to fill their lungs. Every inhale already felt weak and shallow, but now? It felt like they were getting nothing. Their face was hot, ears burning. It was like they were going up in flames, and all they could do was lay there next to her. 

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Kris’s breaths were thin, and they finally willed themself to turn and look at her. She was gazing at the ceiling too, a pleased yet nervous smile decorating her features. Did she realize how weird that was? Did she realize what it did to Kris? 

They stared at her, cheeks as red as the eyes that pored over her. Kris finally seemed to find their words. “...Ah. Chicken.” 

Susie’s gaze narrowed at the ceiling before she turned to look at Kris. She went to reply, to snap back with something, but stopped as she took in their face. They were… red. She had only seen a human get like that a couple times, either when angry or flustered, and Susie didn’t think Kris was mad right now. They were taking shallow breaths, looking at her in silence after they gathered the courage to speak, and that was what they chose to say? To tease Susie for not doing the real thing? What was Kris getting at here? 

Their red eyes peeked through their bangs, making their cheeks look even brighter. Susie stared for a few seconds more before she huffed, shifting and turning on her side so that she was faced away from Kris. She couldn’t bear to see them when they looked like that. She would never be able to pull her eyes away. 

“S-Shut up,” she growled in reply, trying to play off her puzzling feelings with a laugh. Kris was being stupid, stupid and confusing like they had been all day. Maybe having her back turned to them would make them ease up on her a bit. She didn’t know how much more of this game she could take, how much more closeness she could handle until it became too much. She stared at the wall, tucking her hands close to herself before she clenched her eyes shut. “It’s not my fault the pillow was more enticing than you. Maybe step up your game a little bit.”

Kris scoffed but made no other move to speak. Their voice was finally giving out, raw and stinging with the continuous strain of using it, but Kris didn’t mind. They had spoken more tonight than they had in days, but it was for Susie. The ache in their throat and the burning with each movement of their limbs was a reminder of their choice, their decision to push themself for her. They wanted to be vocal, they wanted to show her that they trusted her, they wanted her to know all the thoughts swarming in their mind after that display.

Kris shifted closer into the space Susie left after turning away. It was warm where she had been laying, and Kris took this second to let their eyes wander and examine her from behind, from her wild hair to her broad shoulders and arms, down to the tail that was left exposed. Kris’s hands twitched with the urge to touch it, and like she could sense it, Susie turned to peek over her shoulder.

Their eyes met, and Kris gave her a smile. They felt the warmth of satisfaction when watching her eyes widen a bit, and then her brows furrowed before she was turning back toward them. 

“Quit looking at me like that!” She complained, shifting to lay on her side facing them again. Their faces were even closer than before, but she couldn’t let it distract her. She puffed a breath into their face so their bangs would part again, and Kris snickered, turning to hide their face in the pillow. “Freak.”

They were still wearing that stupid smile of theirs, like they knew how effective of a weapon it was against her. It was the same smile they gave her when they sat together at the lake, the same smile they had when gazing at her at the diner. Susie stared at them, lips pursed tightly as her eyes searched them, trying to find something in their face to tell her that they were just messing around, that this didn’t mean anything, that Susie shouldn’t be feeling like this. She was quiet, contemplating her words and debating with herself if she should say what was on her mind. Kris peeked an eye at her, and Susie swallowed down her nerves.

“You… You’ve been so weird today,” she grumbled, but narrowed her eyes at her own words. Maybe that wasn’t the right way to put it, but she doubted Kris would be offended. Susie’s called them worse. “I mean, like… a-at the diner, when you drew me saying that stuff, and it– it was funny, sure, but then… then you wrote…”

She hesitated, glancing over at Kris and wondering if she even really needed to finish the sentence. Kris knew what they said. They had written it and looked over at Susie for her reaction, waited to see what she would say. Susie brushed it off, because it had to be some kind of joke, right? But that was before everything that had happened today. That was before the commitment and utter trust Susie realized she had in Kris, before Kris laid their life in her hands and they jumped together. What if Susie was reading into something that wasn’t there? 

What if she wasn’t? 

Susie gazed at Kris, and fought the instinct to turn away, to shut herself down and tell them to forget she ever said anything. They were looking at her so intently now. She drew in a breath. 

“Did… Did you mean it?” She asked, and her voice was almost at a whisper, like they could possibly be overheard. “The thing you wrote?”

Kris was quiet. They didn’t know what to say, the vulnerability of the question sneaking up on them. Who knew there were consequences to their actions? Kris didn’t want to call themself stupid for using their free will to tell Susie how important she was to them, but they felt overwhelmed at just the mere mention of it. They were nervous. Did she not like the way Kris had conveyed the message, did she think it was strange? She already said how weird they were for it, but maybe…

Kris looked at her, took her in. She was staring at them with this guarded look, asking questions that made her vulnerable and watching them with gold eyes that glinted slightly with hope. She was waiting to see what kind of reaction Kris would give, to see what their answer was. They could see it in their head already, how she would react if it was something even slightly negative. A bitter laugh, a shrug, that gravelly sound mixing back in her tone as she waved it off like whatever she asked was no big deal. She would put a wall back up and act tough again, but Kris didn’t want that.

The Susie in front of them now looked soft. She might like ripped clothes and sharp spikes and gross things, but there were moments where she opened up and showed that there’s still something delicate inside her – a heart that she had to stitch back together herself, a heart that she decided to carefully show Kris in hopes that they’d be kind. They didn’t look at their own heart locked away in the corner.

”…Yeah.”

That’s all they said at first. Kris looked at her, the two of them close after Susie had turned and Kris had shifted closer. They kept their hands to themselves, but they wanted to reach. They wanted to hold her shoulder and show through their grip how much they meant it. They wanted to feel her bare arms and trail down to her hand and hold it.

Their face burned at the thought and their smile fell a little. Their shoulders were raised, tense and nervous, but they still pushed themself to speak. Gravelly and low, whispering now that Kris was feeling too many things. Now that the hurt wasn’t comforting, it was easy to feel the doubt underneath. “Of course.”

Susie drew in a breath, huffing it out softly. Their response made something warm swell in her chest, relief next to a confusing jumble that she didn’t think she wanted to untangle. Kris’ response was a good thing, it eased one of Susie’s worries that somewhere beneath everything, despite how they had trusted her countless times over their adventures, that there was some part of Kris that didn’t really like her. Maybe they just liked her uses, that she was strong, that she could tank a hit or two if it came down to it, but Kris had been starting to prove that they liked her for more than that. They smiled at her when she told stupid jokes, they heard her out on her ideas, they encouraged her to do all these things that she wasn’t any good at, just for the sake of her trying. Maybe she could believe it. Maybe it was okay to let herself have this.

She blinked, slow and soft as she looked over at Kris, and she was quiet for a moment longer before she puffed out a laugh. It was soft, a bit nervous, and a smile rested in its place as she mumbled a short reply. “…Okay.”

She turned her face toward the ceiling, letting silence wash over the two of them for a bit. It was nice. It was just her and Kris right now, lying side by side and reflecting on everything, on their friendship, on… other things. It was almost laughable how quick Susie grew attached, and she ignored the guilt from before that wanted to sprout again, seeping through the cracks of her settling joy. It reminded her that it was her own fault that she had been deprived of Kris for so long, but she chose to appreciate this moment now instead of regretting the past. Now, Susie had a warm body next to her that gazed at her with care instead of anger, with admiration instead of disgust. She had met someone that saw something in her that Susie couldn’t recognize herself. Susie let out a soft breath, glancing at Kris from the corner of her eye.

“I… like you too,” she murmured, lips wobbling into a smile before she was looking upward again.

Her face was warm, and she could hear Kris’s shallow breathing beside her. Just knowing they were there, next to her now just like they were during everything they had gone through, was enough to ease her mind. 

“You’re the only person that’s ever made me feel like this. Like I’m… worth something. Like there’s a point to me being here.” Her fingers curled in and out, and she couldn’t help but think about all the conversations she and Kris had today. At the diner, at the church… Watching Kris clasp their hands together and murmur her name in prayer, having them listen to her story about that dumb piano and making her promise to keep playing with them… 

How, after she read her segment in the prophecy — love finds its way to the girl — when she turned to look at Kris, their eyes were already on her. 

Susie swallowed, closing her eyes for a moment. “And I don’t just mean the prophecy. Even just being here with you,” she went on, and she turned to face Kris again, eyes blinking back open. She stared, and Susie gave them a nervous, warm smile. “…It feels like it means something. Do… Do you feel it too?”

Kris watched her, a gentle silence following her words. They took a moment to let their gaze linger on hers, and they wondered if she knew her eyes said it all. Golden and bright, even in the darkness, they moved with her emotions and crinkled in delight before she could cover up her joy. Her eyes glowed bright like her smile. Everything felt alright when she looked at them like this.

Kris said nothing. What could they say to that? Susie was admitting so many things to them in the quiet of their room, and all Kris could do was hold her. A hand came forward to settle on her arm, unsure if it was the right move but using it to try and convey their feelings. It wasn’t enough, but it was all they could muster as they ran everything she said back and forth through their mind. Susie’s words were raw but gentle. Kris never thought they’d see this side of her. All this time, there was this Susie beneath the rough words and a hateful glare. Underneath the pushing and the threats, Kris had always seen something hidden within. They always knew there was more to her, but they never thought they’d get close enough to see it like this. 

“...Yes,” they whispered, breathing the words out. Of course this meant something. This moment, the warmth of her skin beneath their hand, her pretty eyes and rumbling voice – it was everything. She was everything to Kris, but they didn’t know where to begin expressing that. 

Their body ached, but the hand on Susie’s arm squeezed tighter and Kris shifted closer. They were starting to feel nervous under her gaze, their chest prickling with unease as her eyes picked them apart. Was this how she felt, when she would turn to look their way to find that Kris was already gazing at her? Would she ever know that even without the soul, Kris would still pick her every time the choice arose? How could they explain just how far they were willing to go for her? All they could seem to do was look at her, staring at the girl prophesied for something great, the girl that held so much of herself deep inside. The hand on her arm shifted up to her shoulder and latched onto the strap of her tank. They needed her to ground them.

“I… I want us to…” Kris couldn’t finish it. How could they tell her they wanted her here, right by their side? Their voice was shaking. “I-I want…” 

They wanted to say more, they wanted to tell her everything, but their voice faded into a weak rasp and they gave up. The grip on Susie’s shirt tightened until their hand shook, a different kind of heat sparking in their body from anger. They wanted to talk, they wanted to be here in this moment with her, but a little too long without the soul and Kris was useless. Frustration built and Kris growled before closing their eyes.

Susie’s eyes were trained on them, hanging on Kris’s words. They were trying to tell her something, but it was like they couldn’t get the words out. She had never heard their voice like this, shaky and struggling. Their touch was cold, but Susie could only feel warmth as they shifted closer, and she lifted a hand to close over theirs. It was small in her hold.

“Kris?” She whispered in reply, eyes searching their face, the way their lips quivered as they tried to speak, to explain what was on their mind. She waited, quiet for another few seconds to see what would come. Kris’s voice faltered, and the hand over theirs tightened as Susie leaned closer. “H-Hey, it’s okay. Take your time, man.” 

She didn’t know what the right words were to comfort them, but despite that, she didn’t feel like she was doing the wrong thing. The way Kris clung to her, moved closer, maybe they weren’t looking for words. Maybe talking was still too hard, maybe Kris would rather show what they were feeling. That was how they always did things — a smile, a soft touch, a gaze that never faltered. That was how Kris communicated, that was what Susie knew most of all from them. Maybe she needed to show them too. 

The hand that was held onto Kris’s lifted, the cold imprint of where their skin had made contact fading quick as Susie’s hand trailed somewhere much warmer. Sharp claws tapped against a soft cheek, fingertips hesitating before they gently swept Kris’ hair from their face, parting it so she could see their eyes. Maybe the touch was too tender, maybe they shouldn’t be holding each other like this after having only known one another in hatred, when days ago all Kris knew was to flinch from this touch. But looking at them now, Susie found that she didn’t care. She didn’t care about who they were to each other before. They were here now, together – and it would remain that way no matter what the stupid prophecy had to say. Whoever the two of them were, whatever they were… She didn’t care what horrors tried to come between them. Kris would have to be pried from her cold, dead claws.

A rough palm settled against a soft, warm cheek, and Susie felt like she might be set aflame by the touch. Golden eyes settled on a pair that seemed to glow, red and beautiful and gazing right back at her. Susie took in a soft breath. 

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Kris didn’t hesitate to lean into her hand, into the safety she offered, taking advantage of the softness she was showing them. A twinge of embarrassment sat in their chest knowing she could see all of them now, but they allowed it, looking back at her with an unwavering gaze. They wouldn’t hide away from her, not when she was showing them such warmth and care. The last thing they wanted Susie to think was that they didn’t want this. Grounding and safe, her big hand cupped their cheek, holding them in a way she never had before. Kris was going to soak in it for as long as they could.

I’m not going anywhere. They replayed her rumbling voice in their mind, once, twice, over and over until their eyes fluttered closed and a deep breath left them. They knew from the prophecy that love finds its way to the girl, but was it selfish to lay here in front of her and hope it was them? Was it wrong to lay next to her and think it felt so right? Nobody would ever understand her like how they understood her. Nobody would know the things they went through, no one would get Susie as deeply as Kris did. 

With eyes still squeezed shut, they shifted their face slightly so their mouth could press against Susie’s palm. They did nothing but turn and stay there, feeling the way their skin glided across her hand. When they spoke, their lips brushed against the warmth cupping them. Their voice was still shaking. “…Thank you.”

Susie felt her scales prickle at the feeling of Kris’ soft lips against her palm, her eyes attentive and wide as they pushed themself deeper into her hold. She didn’t know what she expected, but she was still surprised to see them accept this. Honestly, Susie was surprised with herself that she even initiated it, half-expecting it to backfire and weird Kris out or something. Instead, they accepted the invitation of comfort, leaning in and thanking her. They didn’t need to thank Susie for anything. 

“Don’t mention it. Really,” she replied, her gaze fixed on Kris’s face now that their eyes were closed. They looked troubled, yet relaxed, like there was more on their mind that they couldn’t get out. Maybe they just didn’t want to say it, and Susie was fine with that. They didn’t have to say what they were both already thinking. “I want to be here. After today, I realized that I… t-that…”

She breathed out a laugh, finding it hard to push out all the sentimental words that were dancing on her tongue. All of these feelings were foreign to her, yet she still wanted to tell Kris how important they had become. It was hard finding the right way to explain it without sounding sappy and ridiculous, and the last thing she wanted was to give Kris some ammunition to tease her about. But right now, everything just felt right. When Susie reached out, Kris leaned in, and when Kris came closer, Susie didn’t shy away this time. It felt like this was becoming something important, that the two of them were becoming… 

“Kris…” She took in a breath, holding it for a contemplative second before pushing those thoughts into words. Her thumb drew a line across Kris’ cheekbone. “I just want you to know that I… I’m ready to stick this out with you. Wherever you go, whatever you decide to do... I’ll follow you to hell and back, okay? We’re in this together. Dark world, light world, all of it.”

Susie swallowed, her eyes wandering across their face, picking apart every minute detail of their expression. She hoped she wasn’t coming on too strong, or sounding too stupid right now. Either way, she still meant every word. 

“What I’m saying is… I’m with you, okay?”

Kris blinked their eyes open just to see Susie already staring at them. She was being so open right now, but the surprising part was how long she was spilling her heart to them. Usually when she started rambling about something important or about herself, she would catch herself and crack some joke, move on. She wasn’t one to go this long without trying to make it lighthearted. Which meant she was being serious. She was holding Kris and caressing them like they meant the world and that alone broke them. The heavy constricting feeling in their chest finally hardened and made their stinging throat close up. A sharp, sudden burn started from behind their nose and they inhaled, nuzzling closer to the hand before deciding to hide completely from Susie’s gaze. They broke away from her hand, closing the distance and sticking their head under her chin to hide away. The arm grabbing her shirt slid up and hung around her neck, hand digging in her hair as they hid against her.

Kris felt pathetic, curling into her the way they were, but they didn’t know what else to do. They didn’t want her to see them break, to see the fear and the guilt eating at them. Kris had been alone for a while, they felt so out of place in this town that they grew up in. They knew everybody and others knew them, but there was still a wall between Kris and the other residents of Hometown. Growing and building this connection with Susie was a miracle, but they couldn’t ignore the soul’s part in all of this.

Was it really Kris that Susie was devoting herself to? Was this confession even meant for them, or was she telling the other version of Kris that she would follow them to the ends of the earth? Did she know that Kris was just as committed to her, did she know how important she was? They wanted to tell her. They wanted to tell her everything, to spill their secrets and beg her to stay anyway, to tell her about the dark worlds and the knight and the bunker and their childhood with Noelle and December. They wanted to tell her that even though most of their actions weren’t their own, they would’ve done the same if they had control. They still would’ve taken bullets for her, they still would have trusted her blindly, they still would’ve chosen her time and time again.

They opened their mouth to speak, but nothing came. Kris felt their lungs rattle with the breath they took and the sound that left them when they exhaled was pitiful. The hand in Susie’s hair dug in deeper when they tried again. “…Su… Susie…”

Woah. Susie’s hand was raised above them, and for a second, she did nothing. Kris was tucked against her, hiding away as though she were a shelter in a raging storm. They clung to her like she was the only person in the world, or maybe they just had a way of making Susie feel like she was.

This was… new. A lot of things were new right now, but this had come out of left field. The way Kris threw themself into her, the way their breaths quivered, the break in their voice as they uttered her name. It sounded almost as if they were going to cry, and maybe that was why they needed to hide against her. Maybe they didn’t want her to see them like this, but Susie could only appreciate how Kris was actually showing what they were feeling. The weight of everything was bearing down on all of them, but Kris always seemed so resilient through it all, strong and unfazed before the unfolding prophecy, calm and collected in the face of the Titan. They never cracked, never broke, but maybe they just didn’t have a space to. Maybe they didn’t have someone to confide in, someone that understood them. Maybe this meant that they wanted Susie to be a rock for them the same way they were for everyone else.

Susie let out a breath, and the hand that had been hovering above Kris faltered, lowering until she felt it settle against their side. She could feel their body quivering with their breaths, the long fingers tucked into her hair, the small body curled up against hers. They were being vulnerable with her, showing her their hurt and wanting to be comforted. Susie wasn’t one for hugs, but she found that her hand shifted, running softly across Kris’ side until it settled on their back. Her chin rested atop their head, the position feeling quite natural as she pulled Kris into her. 

“It’s… It’s okay,” she muttered, still unsure if she was doing this right. She had never had someone come to her for comfort, desire her hold and whisper her name in hopes that she’d understand and pull them in. This was so strange and new, uncharted waters for her, but she needed to focus right now for Kris. They needed this from her. Susie’s hand ran up Kris’ back, then down again, slow and soft. “I’m here, dude. I’m always gonna be here.”

That overwhelming urge to cry lodged itself in Kris’ throat, refusing to move, refusing to disappear. It made breathing worse, their throat already raw and aching, lungs already tight and full of pain from the lack of a soul making their organs feel like pins were poking at them from every direction. The constant burn behind their nose crawled up to their eyes and they took in another rattling breath to calm the waterworks.

Susie was here. She was here in their bed, allowing Kris to push forward and tuck themself in her hold as though she was their own personal shield. She sucked at comforting and hated hugs, but she allowed Kris to hold her anyways and she even went as far as holding them back. A big arm wrapped around their torso, a clawed hand rubbing their back with intent despite how gentle it was. To put her in this position was enough to make the guilt feel worse, but Kris focused on the moment. They focused on the way Susie’s breath was louder when they were this close to her, focused on the methodical pace she was running her hand up their spine. They listened and they breathed despite how exhausted they were, the fingers in her hair now twitching.

Slowly they tried to brush through it, trying to weed out knots and carefully brushing their fingers back through afterwards. They kept their forehead pressed against her collarbone, eyes closed. They tried not to think of the guilt eating at them, tried not to think of the soul and the rage that followed the thoughts. They didn’t want to think of the things they wanted to do to it, not tonight. Tonight’s thoughts should remain on Susie. To appreciate her and to acknowledge that whatever they went through officially locked them in this weird friendship.

They laid there in silence, continuing their cycle of breathing, brushing through hair, listening. The pain lessened as the seconds passed. Regret and guilt grew dim and mixed with the feelings of gratitude swimming around. Kris tilted their head up, sighing when their nose grazed her neck. “…Mm… I’m sorry…”

Susie shivered at the breath against her throat, but blinked at the words. There they go apologizing, but Susie didn’t know why they felt they had to. Susie was glad to be here, to be the one Kris trusted to show their emotions to, the one person to get to see a part of Kris that was kept deep within. Susie knew what it was like having to hide the side of herself that felt the pain, all her anguish and hurt shoved down and buried where no one would see it. She hid her tears until nothing but the bare walls in her room were left to witness her, her cries merely reflected back at her. There was no one to hide against, to hold her and tell her it was alright. If Susie could be that for Kris, she would give everything. If it took fighting titans to continue being the one Kris looked for, then she would take them all down. 

“Shut up,” she growled, but her words held no anger. She tipped her head down, snout pushing against a head of dark, stringy hair. Drawing in a breath, she closed her eyes and appreciated the familiar scent. She hoped that apple shampoo stayed in her life forever.  “Who told you to apologize, dumbass?”

Susie pulled back, trying to get a look at their face again. She wondered if they still needed to cry, or if they were starting to feel a little better. She wanted to know if she was doing okay, if holding them and talking was working or if she needed to try something else. She didn’t really have any other ideas, though, but Susie brushed her concerns to the side as she took Kris in — their flushed cheeks, frowning lips, body curled in against her like they were seeking her warmth. Their skin was cold, and she wondered if she should cover them up. In a minute.

”…Also,” she made a face, glancing to the side. A twinge of embarrassment sat in her chest. “Don’t try to brush my hair, it’s just not gonna work. I haven’t touched a hairbrush in, like, years.”

Kris couldn’t help the snicker that left them. They pressed their free hand over their face, massaging their eyes before letting it fall to cover their mouth. They hummed, nodding as though they understood before their fingers twitched again. They continued to brush and pull out knots, acknowledging but not caring about Susie’s tip.

“… Can tell,” they whispered, voice croaky and not raising in volume. They kept breathing carefully, as though afraid one wrong inhale would make the burn behind their nose come back. They didn’t want to cry, not in front of Susie. She wasn’t supposed to see this side of Kris, but a part of them wondered why they cared about that. It’s not like she would go making fun of them for it. Maybe she would have a few days ago, or maybe she wouldn’t have at all. Kris didn’t think she was ever a bad person. She had a hard time finding herself and had trouble being the person she wanted to be because of what everyone thought of her. When it came down to it, she cared about people.

Kris tried to focus on that. Focus on the face now looking at her, on the eyes that showed her emotions, eyes that glanced away because she was a little embarrassed about her hair. She was so funny. She barely had to try, pulling Kris back from those angry thoughts and awful feelings with just a few words. Their fingers kept carding, snagging on a strand and picking at it until digging back in. They tilted their head up now that she had pulled away, and smiled, hoping she wouldn’t point out how glossy their eyes undoubtedly were. They hoped they didn’t look as tired as they felt either.

“Mm. Thought about…?” Kris’s voice trailed off, but they raised their free hand to finish the thought for them. They made a snipping motion by the ends of their own hair. They jumped onto this new topic without hesitation, ready to move on and never discuss the pathetic display that just happened. “Or… long?” 

Susie blinked at the motion, raising a brow. “Would I ever cut it?” She thought aloud, squinting at the way Kris continued trying to card through her hair despite it being a battlefield in there. She allowed them this, though, even though it was mildly annoying. If it took their mind off of those bad feelings, so be it. “I haven’t really thought about it. My hair does its own thing, whatever’s going on up there isn’t my business.”

She shrugged, putting on a smile for the other and pulling her hand back from around them. Instead, it settled on Kris’ side, feeling the ride and fall of their breathing. The change in topic seemed to alleviate what had been upsetting them. Honestly, Susie was glad things eased up a bit, since she was kind of running out of things to say. It was only a matter of time until she said the wrong thing and messed it up, right? This was way easier to talk about than feelings and crap. 

“What do you think? Should I keep it long or do you think I should go bald?” She made a thoughtful expression like she was giving this some serious thought. She tapped a clawed finger at her chin, then glanced down at Kris again. “Though, if I’m shaving it, so are you. When I say we’re in this together, I mean everything!”

Kris squinted at her, puffing out an amused breath with a shake of their head. She was being dumb, but they were glad she moved on and didn’t mention everything that happened.

Kris didn’t like dealing with heavy emotions. They disliked any thoughts having to do with the soul even more. There were times when they would get lost in thoughts that they really shouldn’t, times where they pictured themself squeezing the damn thing until it popped and bled. They had thoughts of stomping it until the pain that wracked through their body was too much to handle, of hurting it until Kris doubled over from the pain. They almost went through with it sometimes. They never had the energy for it, though.

The urge to apologize to her rose again, for getting emotional and having so much trouble speaking their mind. They wanted to, but she would probably growl and brush it off again. Susie didn’t seem like the type to accept apologies, or go looking for them. Kris wondered if it was because no one had ever admitted their wrongs to her, or if she just thought every bad thing that happened was her fault. Maybe it’s better not to try and analyze it.

Kris took another breath, content with the way Susie hadn't pulled back yet. Her hand was heavy on their side, warm and calming. It wasn’t as weird as they thought it’d be, having her hold them as their fingers tried carding through her hair. It was so bad. Kris pushed themself to speak again, finally drawing their hand back and letting it settle on her shoulder again. “I’m not going bald for you.”

“Yes you are. You don’t have a choice.” Susie put on a great big, evil grin. She entertained the idea of forcefully shaving Kris’s head, imagining them hairless with a big shinty glint on their bald head and everything. The thought made her sputter out a laugh, and she even lifted her hand and pointed at them to make sure she knew she was laughing at them. “I think– I think then you’d finally be irresistible. Even Berdly’s gonna want a piece of you!”

She cackled, poking a clawed finger against Kris’s head. They scowled, whacking her hand away. Susie relented, and after her fit of giggles subsided, she let out a sigh. Things had gotten so tense and emotional, it was nice to have a laugh. Kris seemed to feel a little better too, albeit a bit tired. Maybe they needed to rest. Susie hummed, shifting to lay on her back and letting one hand rest on her stomach, the other tucking under Kris’s pillow so that they were laying on her arm. She didn’t mind. 

“...It’d be cool to see your eyes all the time,” she went on, glancing at Kris from the side before looking up at the ceiling again. She needed to catch a glimpse of those shining red eyes and commit them to memory. They were still a little glossed over, but Susie wouldn’t mention it. “You should pin your bangs back sometimes, or put your hair up and stuff. You’d look…” She cleared her throat. “L-Less like a loser.”

Kris puffed, moving closer. Their body was tucked against her side, and after a brief second of hesitation, they snaked an arm over her, bringing no other attention to it. If Susie didn’t mention it, then they wouldn’t either. Their friendship wasn’t going to implode over a little cuddling, right? This was fine.

They cast a glance in the corner. The subtle glow from earlier had dimmed, but Kris knew it was still there, lying in wait. 

“...I’d look stupid,” they muttered. They had grown their hair out long for a reason, hiding behind their bangs. That way, Kris could look without consequence, stare and watch and analyze others and going unnoticed. People complained a lot less when they didn’t know they were being watched. They got less questions about why their eyes were red when they were covered. Apparently it wasn’t a common feature for humans to have – not that Kris would know. 

They looked toward Susie again, taking in her face from the side, counting the freckled scales along her cheek. “But… uncover your tail ‘n I’ll do it.”

Susie whipped to look at them, eyes flaring. She had half a mind to shove them off of the bed for that, but the way they had slipped an arm over her and got comfortable against her made her hesitate. She scowled at them, but couldn’t bring herself to act on any of these thoughts. Instead, she turned back to the ceiling with a big huff, her cheeks flushed despite the lie she was about to tell. “I don’t have a tail, idiot.” She ignored that Kris had most definitely seen it several times today. “Shut up. Let’s drop the bald thing.”

And they did. Susie let the silence wash over her again as she took in a deep breath, sighing it out. Kris was tucked against her again, and Susie could tell just from the way they laid there against her that they were feeling it too, the exhaustion from today’s battles and emotions. The longer Susie laid here, the heavier her limbs seemed to get, and when she blinked her eyes, they wanted to close and blanket her in darkness. She wasn’t done talking, though. There was so much more she wanted to say to Kris, so many questions she had left that were eating away at her. But they had already talked so much, and she knew Kris was tired too. Their voice was growing softer, putting less effort into their sentences, growing quiet the longer time passed. Susie’s finger drew idle lines against her stomach, and as the quiet persisted, it felt like their conversation was reaching its end. 

“...Hey,” she spoke, voice quiet and low. She tipped her head the slightest bit to the side as she glanced at Kris. There was a brief spell of silence, and she pursed her lips into a soft smile. “Thanks for… this. For talking with me, even if it’s hard. And for letting me come in and stay. It, uh, means a lot to me. You… mean a lot to me. So.” 

She cleared her throat, kicking her foot back and forth. 

“I guess I’ll put a pause on biting your head off. Until further notice, at least.”

Kris glanced up at her. Susie was speaking to them softly again, as though getting vulnerable was becoming easier the longer they spoke. It was nice to see a side of her that nobody got to see, but it was still disorienting. Kris was staring at her and couldn’t help but wonder if this was really Susie in front of them. Were they the only one with a parasite controlling their every move? Was Kris alone or was something controlling Susie too?

The hand that was thrown over her shifted, and Kris let their palm lay flat against her side. They waited for a pulse, the beating of a heart-shaped parasite like the one in Kris, but they couldn’t find it. There was just the soft thrum of magic coursing through her, the energy that all monsters had within. Kris knew that Susie was, well, Susie, but somewhere they hoped she’d be able to understand. It would make it easier when the time came to explain everything about the soul if something similar was happening to her. 

Or maybe it would finally stop one day and Kris could live the rest of their life like normal. They could move on without telling anybody, they could avoid the pain and confusion that would surely come otherwise. Once all of this was over and there were no more fountains, no more knights, and Kris’s job was finished. 

They didn’t want to think about it. They closed their eyes, shifting closer to Susie and resting their head on her shoulder, grasping for any contact they could get away with. Was this strange? Was this too far for her? They had placed their life in each others’ hands, but was this where she drew the line? Maybe if Kris brought no attention to it then Susie wouldn’t either.

“...Thanks,” they whispered. Their voice was straining, growing hoarse with all of tonight’s usage. They wanted to tell her more, that they also cared, that they didn’t mind if she wanted to break in and spend the night with them in the future. They opened their mouth to push another sentence out, but all that left them was a rasping breath. Their voice had given out, useless just like the rest of their body was after being apart from the soul for so long. They expected it, but god, they wished they could’ve lasted a little longer. They pushed their face against her, their hand weakly patting her. Once more, they strained to speak again – for Susie, with Susie, anything for Susie. “Yo u’ re… imp—ortan…t.”

Susie blinked at the words, as Kris forced their hoarse voice to push out the sentence. She took in a deep breath, and for a second she felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

It was weird, hearing Kris tell her that. In a weak, mumbling voice, expressing something she had never heard before. No one had ever told her that she was important to them, and maybe she never really deserved it, but… She huffed out a laugh, and as Kris shifted closer, she brought her arm around them, cupping their body against hers. Their cheek was cool against her shoulder, and Susie pulled them a little tighter, hoping they could find some warmth in her. 

“Shut up,” she breathed out in a laugh. She tipped her head down to glance at Kris, but all she could see was their messy hair. She huffed out a soft breath, bringing her free hand over to comb through the strands a couple times, like they had done to her. Susie pulled her hand back, letting it rest against their thin arm that was thrown over her. Her thumb gently passed back and forth over their skin. “Save that sappy shit for tomorrow, alright? You can spill your heart out when we’re in the ferris wheel. That’s the best place to do it!”

Kris huffed out a breath of a laugh, letting themself go quiet again. They laid there, fastened to her side as Susie drew in a breath and sighed it out. She fell silent too, nothing more coming from the girl for a few moments before she was shifting, and Kris felt her tuck her snout into their hair, breathing them in. 

It wasn’t long until Kris knew she was asleep. Her breathing had grown heavier and drawn out, and a deep rumble came with each breath. Exhaustion clung to their body too, with the stress of today’s several dark worlds and draining fights. That wasn’t to mention the rolling around and wrestling the two of them had gotten up to. Kris had pushed their body past its limit, each breath rattling in their chest, limbs stinging with every slight movement. Kris didn’t want to be anywhere else, though.

Susie hadn’t even pointed out the closeness, how intimate this position was when they had never crossed into this territory before. She hadn’t hesitated to wrap her arm around Kris, to tug them close against her. She pulled Kris in like they’d always done this, as if there was never an issue between them at all. 

They didn’t look toward the soul, even when a soft thump came from under the sweater and the glow shone a little brighter. They ignored it, face pressed into Susie and listening to her droning snores. This was nice. Kris hoped she could stay with them like this every night, wrapped around each other and safe from harm. They tucked away into her, and closed their eyes.

~~~

Thunk. 

Kris drew in a deep breath, eyes still squeezed shut, their body tensing at the ache in their chest. Their lungs burned with every breath, throat dry and hoarse, a cough threatening to escape them. Their body felt heavy, heavier beyond just normal exhaustion. They wanted to sleep a little longer. Why were they even awake?

Thunk. 

Kris peeled their eyes open, that motion alone taking a great deal of strength. Their eyelids drooped despite their best efforts, the burning sensation in their lungs growing with every inhale. It was like sand was poured into their chest, the grains scratching and stinging the lining of their organs, their body weighed down. Every limb was hurting, raw and burning and heavy. Despite their insides feeling like they were on fire, they shivered from the cold, a shuddering breath escaping them. Susie’s wasn’t just warm, she was boiling against Kris’s skin.

Thunk. Thunk, thunk, thunk. 

Kris, barely able to keep their eyes opened, glanced toward the corner. The soul’s light illuminated the whole room. The sweater must have slid off at some point in the night. The heart paused under Kris’s gaze, but after a few more seconds, it backed up against one side of the cage before throwing itself into the other. It thunked within the wagon, once, then twice, and it stopped as though waiting for Kris to react. All they did was stare at it. It was still, patient and expectant, waiting for Kris to come and retrieve it. Kris couldn’t live without the stupid thing, and the soul knew. Didn’t mean it had to rub it in, though.

Susie’s snoring was continuous and loud, her arm still wrapped around them but loose. Kris closed their eyes, letting themself lay in her warmth before dragging their arms underneath them. They took a deep breath, resisting the urge to cough before shoving themselves up.

Susie’s arm didn’t budge, and Kris got about three inches off the bed before flopping back into her side. They groaned, the small impact knocking the wind out of them and making them whimper. Shit. Kris had gone a while without the soul before, but never had they pushed themself that hard the way they had tonight. It was like a punishment in a way, the soul’s way of getting back at Kris for leaving it behind to have fun with Susie. Kris grit their teeth, huffing out a pained breath as they pushed themself up again. 

They managed to slide out from Susie’s hold, her heavy arm falling onto the bed again as Kris pushed themself to sit up. They swayed, body barely able to keep them upright, but they took a second to look at the girl lying in their bed. She was still out cold, snores persisting on. With the comfort of knowing they hadn’t disturbed her, Kris pushed themself toward the edge of the bed, throwing their legs over and letting their feet settle on the floor. Everything hurt. They closed their eyes, bracing themself before they pushed up from the bed, staggering to their feet. The pins and needles plunged deeper into their muscles, the burn in their lungs igniting and licking up their chest and throat. Everything hurt. 

Kris took a step, then another, and then they fell. Their knees thudded to the floor, throwing their hands out to catch themself. They hissed in pain, clenched eyes peering open to gaze up at the soul as it pushed against the bars of the cage closest to them. It spun in a circle, and then knocked into the side again. Kris growled, their throat stinging from the effort as they glanced again toward their bed. Susie still hadn’t stirred, but with the soul making all this noise, it was sure to alert her eventually. Kris was surprised their tumble hadn’t done the trick, but they hissed out a weak shush toward the soul, squinting at it. 

Standing wasn’t going to work, so Kris was just going to have to work with this. They dragged themself forward, hands and knees carrying them across the floor, pathetic and painful. At least the soul seemed to calm down as Kris crawled closer, weak and slow. Finally, they made it to the birdcage, and they clung to it, letting it support their weight as Kris fumbled with the latch. It opened, and Kris heaved out a breath, leaning upon the cage as the soul was freed from its prison. They didn’t even have the energy to grab the thing. Their eyelids were heavy, and Kris closed them with a sigh, their task completed. They felt so cold now that they were away from Susie, their skin raw and aching like they had been dragged across asphalt. Their lips twitched into a frown as they felt a push against their chest, and they blinked their heavy eyelids open to look down. 

They watched the soul push against their shirt, glowing brightly in the dark of their room. It pressed and pressed until their skin boiled beneath its touch, like scalding water was poured against their chest. Kris bit back a pained noise, teeth grit and eyes clenching shut before it became unbearable. One hand released the cage, grasping the soul in their palm and pushing, pushing past the splitting skin and boiling blood, pushing until the heat was searing within, deep inside their chest. There was no more movement, the soul settled in its rightful place. Kris clung to the birdcage, heaving out a breath. 

Parasite. That’s all it was. It stripped Kris of their choice, their voice, their body when it was inside them, and Kris still couldn’t escape its effects even without it. They could only go so long until they needed it again, and Kris resented every bit of it.

Kris stayed there, head leaned upon the birdcage as they recalibrated themself. Every inhale came a little easier, and the boiling heat in their chest was starting to subside, evening out along their body. Every beat of the heart sent another wave of warmth down to their fingertips, to their legs, their ears. It was easier to prop themself up now, and Kris leaned off of the cage. The ache in their limbs was more dull as they shifted, pushing themself off of their knees and rising to stand. 

Their legs still wobbled a bit beneath their weight, but Kris could feel the difference already. They took a careful step back towards the bed, back towards the body sprawled out on their mattress that they wanted to return to so badly. They shuffled toward her, cautious not to stumble again until they reached the bed, and Kris – or maybe the soul – was returning them back into Susie’s arms. 

They flopped onto their side, pulling themself close and lying their head on her chest again, throwing an arm over her. They were safe here, warm and relaxed with Susie beside them, undisturbed and snoring like there wasn’t a care in the world. It was easy to forget about all the bad looming over them when Susie was here like this. Kris sighed, closing their eyes again. They let themself get lost in thoughts of tomorrow – Susie staying for breakfast again, her promise to ride the ferris wheel with them… 

Kris huffed out a soft breath, letting the rumbling in Susie’s chest lull them back to sleep.