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One
Neil side eyed Andrew who, as usual, seemed perfectly even while Neil was swaying softly to himself, unable to stop the grin spreading on his face.
“Staring” Andrew mumbled as he handed Nicky a shot and patted Kevin’s head, who had practically passed out at the table.
“You’re pretty” Neil hummed.
“You’re drunk. No more” Andrew instructed as he clinked his shot glass with Nicky’s and then threw his shot back.
“But I’m having fun” Neil huffed and rolled his eyes, unable to identify the mixture of annoyance and lust as he stared his boyfriend down. He still wasn’t used to being intoxicated, and it always threw off his ability to read his own emotions and others around him. Except Andrew, he always knew how Andrew felt.
“Have fun at the level you’re at” Andrew deadpanned.
“Well… Maybe I want to go home” Neil tried to flirt but it came out more slurred than seductive.
“You want to head back to the dorms? I can’t drive that far after drinking” Andrew reminded him.
“No… Nicky’s. Columbia house. Away from Eden” Neil said brokenly, trying to form thoughts through the growing blur in his mind.
“That’s not home, but we’ll go now” Andrew stated plainly before leaning over and hitting Kevin on the back of the head gaining him a groan which he ignored to say “Kevin get up, we’re heading back to the house”
Nicky raised his hands. “What the fuck man? I was about to go dance”
“Dance at the house” Andrew shot back.
“Why do we have to go?” Nicky whined with a pout and Neil chuckled.
“Neil asked”
“He always gets what he wants” Nicky complained and heaved Kevin off his seat to head to the exit.
Beaming, Neil followed Andrew like the domesticated fox that he always turned into around his boyfriend. Continuing to grumble, Nicky complained to a semi-unconscious Kevin who he was guiding out of the door. The car was pulled round and Neil slipped into the passenger seat, settling himself into the drive as he felt the hazy tipsiness wash over him.
They parked outside the house and Neil let himself out of the car, straightening up as he looked at one of his homes, which was bizarre to someone who had never really felt like he had a home. Andrew pressed his fingers into the small of his back and guided him forwards to the house, and despite it being such a tiny gesture, it felt like everything.
Immediately Andrew pushed him towards their shared room, ignoring Aaron’s deep sigh of horror, Kevin’s grumbling and Nicky’s way-too-enthusiastic wolf whistle. Gently Andrew took Neil’s hand and asked, “Yes or no?”
“Yes” Neil said quietly.
Andrew tugged him into the room, shutting their door and crowding Neil’s space against the door.
“Yes or no?”
“Yes” Neil hummed, his eyes focused on Andrew, stood in their bedroom, the soft scent of citrus filling the room that made his heart stop thundering. They were surrounded by their comforts in their home away from home, and Neil tilted his head down towards Andrew. Raising his lips up to Neil, he kissed him greedily, and Neil took every moment in, hungrily, letting his fingers be guided up into Andrew’s hair by the grip on his wrists.
He suppressed the smile against Andrew’s lips, his mind spinning with the alcohol and the emotions of being with someone who was so fiercely protective of him. Softly, he played with Andrew’s hair as they kissed and he felt a happy sigh from his boyfriend as they kissed. Neil had never felt so comfortable standing still, and he could stand here forever as long as Andrew kept the firm press against his body and his lips on him.
Two
Grinning at Andrew, Neil hovered his hand next to Andrew, “Yes or no?”
Andrew looked down and his breath hitched, the only sign that he knew Andrew was affected by him. “Yes”
Intertwining his fingers into Andrew’s, Neil gave his hand a gentle squeeze as they walked along the waterfront of Hermosa Pier. They stared off at the water as they ate their burritos side by side, and Neil felt that his body was completely relaxed, in a way that he wasn’t sure he had felt before.
Once the burritos were finished and they’d wandered the pier and the beach together, almost exclusively in silence, Neil turned his head to look at Andrew. His face was beautiful in the setting sun of Summer, the sharp edges of his face lit by softness had Neil’s heart fluttering softly. Andrew had always been home, but even miles away from Palmetto, Neil felt perfectly at peace with Andrew; no need to look over his shoulder, no need to fight, no need to run. Normally this far out, Neil got squirmy and anxious to be so far from their safe space, but his feelings from Andrew surpassed that.
“What’s going on in your head?” Andrew asked without turning his head.
“Huh?”
“You’re looking at me like you’re about to cut me apart piece by piece”
“I wouldn’t say that is the look I’m giving you. I was just thinking” Neil said, choosing his words carefully. Not that he had to be too careful with Andrew, but there were certain words and certain phrases he avoided. Some for himself, some for Andrew.
They returned to their comfortable silence before Neil gave a squeeze of Andrew’s hand. “Home?”
“Yeah, home tomorrow” Andrew agreed.
“No, back to Cat and Laila’s place” Neil corrected.
“Neil” Andrew grunted.
“What?” Neil asked, genuinely perplexed.
“That isn’t home and you know it. Don’t say confusing shit” he said, a hint of frustration in his tone before sighing. “Come on”
“What would I know about home” Neil grumbled from behind Andrew as he was pulled up the beach, and he heard Andrew huff out air in amusement.
“Clearly not enough if you think everywhere we go is home” Andrew retorted, and Neil kind of loved that he always sounded either bored or annoyed.
“I’m not trying to confuse you” Neil told him.
“I know. You’re just an idiot. You’re at 86%, you know?”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time” Neil joked with a smirk. With a huff, Andrew flagged down a taxi and Neil felt comfortable, letting someone else take the control, for not having to making a decision.
Once they’d made it back to the girl’s place, Laila let them in with a grin and a joyful, “Hey boys, Cat’s just got dinner sorted”
“Nice” Andrew said and Neil nodded with a friendly, “Thanks Laila”
“I did very little” Laila said jovially and waved it off, shutting the door behind them.
“Come make sure you eat” Andrew encouraged as he walked through the corridor down to the kitchen and Neil felt a flutter at that care. He’d had people look out for him, stitch up his open wounds, but this tenderness over the little things was absolutely overwhelming.
Three
Andrew yawned for the third time in the past 20 minutes and Neil knew he wouldn’t leave until Neil had experienced the fair grounds properly. Normally Wymack would rush them back to Palmetto State as soon as a game was over, but he’d given them the weekend to relax. Andrew, who had dragged his brother and cousin to the fairgrounds many times - claiming he needed to get them out of the dorms - insisted Neil should also go.
Neil loved it.
It was bright lights and happy people, and he could imagine all of the Foxes here celebrating, even though in reality, they’d all gone back to their rooms to crash.
He could picture Dan and Matt on top of the ferris wheel being soppy in a way Neil couldn’t begin to fathom being, especially in front of prying eyes. Then he thought of Renee and Allison, who would definitely be on the bumper cars together, their competitive natures and their ferocity taking the driving seat. Kevin and Aaron would wander aimlessly between booths before finally settling on going on one of the rides. Knowing Nicky, he’d have followed Neil and Andrew around for a while before making some quip and diving off to get cotton candy and probably bother another pair of Foxes.
Finally, it would be him and Andrew, the exact same as always, side by side, going from booth to booth to play the games on each stall. Hands not touching as they walked but close enough that Neil’s breath sometimes hitched when the backs of their hands brushed against one another. Occasionally, Andrew would lean in and whisper something in Neil’s ear and Neil wondered if it was just to see the shiver that Neil did every single time.
In the present, his eyes glanced over to Andrew, and Andrew looked exhausted, so he leaned in and whispered, “Home?”
He saw a microscopic moment of Andrew’s lips twitching upwards before he shook his head in dismissal. Neil felt a warm pride flutter through him at almost making Andrew smile at something he’d said, even if it wasn’t intentional.
“Do you mean the hotel room?”
“Yes?” Neil replied, almost asking him, because he obviously wasn’t asking Andrew to fly back to South Carolina and get back to their dorm room.
“Just say that then” Andrew huffed, his face flat and almost murderous. Neil laughed, hard, unable to stop himself when he saw how adorably angry Andrew looked at the concept of Neil saying ‘home’. It made Neil want to say ‘home’ more often for stupid things, like going back to their table at Eden’s or to leave the living room to go to their shared bedroom. Just to hear the percentage of how much Andrew wanted to kill him went up.
“The hotel room is home for now” Neil pointed out facetiously.
“98% Josten, watch out”
“What you going to do, stab me?” Neil jibbed.
Turning a heated stare on Neil, Andrew exhaled as if Neil was being tedious before grabbing his wrist and dragging him through the crowd. It seemed they were making their way to the exit and Neil beamed to himself, pleased Andrew could get back and sleep, and pleased to have pissed him off a little.
There was something exhilarating about getting under Andrew’s skin but not to the point of violence - no one else could do that to Andrew the way he could. Smugness ran through his veins as he practically trotted behind Andrew as they left the fair and headed to the motel they were staying in.
Four
Andrew pulled into the car park, taking the keys out of the ignition and getting out without looking back at Neil. Following excitedly, Neil watched Andrew punch in the code into the gates and using his keys to access the building. They walked out into the open space and Andrew paused, letting Neil step out into front of him, a hint of amusement at Neil’s grin. It had been over a week since he’d been on a court over winter break and Neil had been almost jittery to get here this morning.
“Ah, home” Neil sighed out, arms stretched wide, face upturned to the sky as he breathed in the smell of the Foxhole court.
“I’m going to punch you, I swear to god, Neil” Andrew threatened, irritation lacing every word in a way that had become addictive to Neil.
“You’ll have to catch me first, goalie” Neil teased before taking off sprinting across the court. He heard the delight in his own voice, wondered what impact that had on Andrew if any, and then he could hear Andrew behind him.
Keeping his speed slower than usual, he let himself feel like prey being hunted down by a wild animal, by an untameable force of stocky muscle and feather soft blonde hair. A giggle peeled from his lips before he could stop it and then he was being tackled, the air leaving his lungs momentarily as he hit the ground.
He fought the weight on top of him and managed to turn over so he was face to face with Andrew. Andrew who looked flushed and was panting above him. Andrew who grabbed both of Neil’s wrists and pinned them above his head, holding him down. Andrew who looked like a predator, a vicious pleasure as he gazed at what he caught.
“You’re a tease, Junkie” Andrew said blandly but his face was ravenous and he leaned down, kissing along Neil’s neck, dragging a deep groan from him.
“Yes or no?”
“Yes, Andrew. Always a yes” he exhaled.
Neil’s body was alight instantly, if his adrenaline was pumping before, it was now pounding through his veins to the point he could feel it. Every inch of his skin felt like a live wire ready for Andrew to spark and explore with the simple touch of his hands and lips. His touch held something electric.
“Drew” Neil said breathily.
“Neil” Andrew returned as if it meant nothing, but Neil knew, he could feel Andrew’s heartbeat strong and fast, could feel Andrew’s body pressing down more into him.
“I need it” Neil admitted, almost a pleading moan. It was the closest he got to ‘please’, it was his only way of telling Andrew he was desperate.
“Not on your precious court” Andrew whispered snidely and released Neil from his grip, standing and turning to walk to the locker room.
Chuckling, Neil stood and brushed himself down, setting off after Andrew who didn’t need to turn and look, because he knew Neil would always follow him. Wherever he was going, Neil would follow, and while he’d never admit it, Neil knew Andrew would follow him anywhere too.
Five
Neil touched the car softly and smiled.“Finally home” he whispered as he waited for Andrew to unlock it.
“I will choke you with the car keys, don’t start calling my car ‘home’ now”
“You love the car” Neil pointed out.
“I mildly like the car at most” Andrew snapped back.
“I bought you this car, you should love it”
Andrew raised an eyebrow at him before unlocking it and sliding in. Neil took that as a win.
Whenever Andrew was silent, Neil knew he actually just didn’t want to admit it but he also would never lie to Neil - if Neil really wanted a truth, it would be easy to get this way. Luckily for Andrew, Neil was more than happy to just ask, bluntly and without holding back and he knew Andrew would do the same.
There was no longer a truth for a truth, but the game they had played had given way to a depth of trust and understanding that Neil couldn’t have imagined. He was pulled from his thoughts by the rest of the group walking over to them, talking animatedly about the next game they were playing. Someone had talked Aaron into coming to a nighttime practices, but Neil didn’t care, as long as he had a racket in his hands and got to be on the court.
Neil got into his usual seat, watching as Andrew sat next to him, and as they set off, Andrew stretched his pinky out. Smiling, Neil interlocked his pinky on the central console and kept his eyes on Andrew’s side profile, noticing the almost indecipherable flicker at the contact.
He could hear Kevin in the back, trying to talk about the plays they should be focusing on and the weakness of the opposing team, while Nicky tried to talk over him about Erik. Aaron sat in the middle, and with a glance over his shoulder, Andrew’s twin looked miserably bored by both conversations. His sights set back onto his boyfriend, noting how Andrew’s eyes were trained on the road. Street lamps and car headlights illuminated Andrew’s face, the soft slope of his nose in contrast with the hard lines of his cheekbones.
As the traffic slowed them in the city, Neil watched the red glow accentuate Andrew’s jaw, his long fingers, tapping on the steering wheel to a beat no one else heard. Neil felt his breath catch, he’d never stopped for long enough to ever notice the beauty in anything, but Andrew was ethereal. There was something jaw dropping about the way Andrew looked, of the warmth he felt at the softness of Andrew’s features.
The windows were down and the Columbian evening air was blowing through the fluffy blonde hair, his face and body relaxed, and Neil felt himself calm. His stomach had never felt so settled, his body so willing and his mind softly chanting: stay, stay, stay.
+ One
Andrew’s flight was delayed.
He wasn’t here to see Neil before the trial. Neil was already stepping towards where the judge was gesturing to when the door slammed open and his head whipped round. Andrew stormed in breathlessly, his eyes wild as they met Neil’s gaze, and they both visibly relaxed at the distant contact.
Neil took the stand.
When the judge dismissed everyone for the day, Neil made his way outside to find Andrew and his heart pounded with his need. Andrew found him instantly, a thundercloud of energy as he stormed towards him, his eyes fixed on Neil as he made his way through the crowd. It was like no one else existed, all the other people faded away as he stood frozen, waiting for him.
Andrew reached him and stared into his soul, almost devouring him with his eyes alone.
“I… The flight shouldn’t have been delayed” he said and Neil thought it might be the closest he’d gotten to an apology.
“It shouldn’t have, but you got here” Neil offered back.
Andrew held his arms open for him, which was a rarity in public but Neil willingly went to him, as he always did, as he always would. His boyfriend wrapped his arms around him, both of them settling into the comfort of each other that they hadn’t experienced in a couple of days.
“Home” he whispered on his out breath.
Neil pressed his face into Andrew’s neck and spoke against his skin, “Yeah, let’s get going”
“No… Neil, as in you are my home. I’ve never felt safe before, I’ve always been the protection and the safe space, I’ve never been allowed to feel safe”
“Drew” Neil gasped, unable to say anything further.
“If you tell anyone I just said that, I’ll kill you, and I mean that sincerely” Andrew said into his hair.
“I would never” Neil uttered out softly. “I’m your safe space, that means not sharing your secrets”
“I’ll find you in every lifetime”
“Andrew… That sounds like a thinly veiled threat” Neil said with a laugh.
“It wasn’t meant to be thinly veiled” Andrew muttered.
“Threaten me again later” Neil told him, pressing his lips to Andrew’s.
Andrew kissed him back chastely and pulled back with a grunt. “You’re such a little freak”
“You love it” Neil teased and stroked Andrew’s hair out of his face before he turned to walk towards the exit, where the others were waiting for them. Jean had a mildly amused smile on his face as his eyes flicked to Jeremy at their interaction. Being seen so closely and known so intimately by their friends still sent a jolt through him that made me him want to run. It was a fight to be constantly stopping himself from letting his instincts go wild, to put a pause on the racing thoughts of his escape plan.
“You okay?” Andrew asked from next to him.
“Yeah, I’m fine”
“You have that flighty look on your face” Andrew analysed.
With a grin, Neil kissed his cheek. “You know me too well. I’m not running from you though. Jean and Jeremy were talking about us”
“Everyone is obsessed with us, I don’t get it”
“People can’t figure us out. They can’t imagine you being like this with me” Neil explained. “Doesn’t stop me wanting to run”
Andrew let out a huff of air of amusement as they walked to the small group waiting for them.
“Ready to get back home?” Wymack asked.
“Yeah” Neil said, but deep down, he already was home, and knowing Andrew saw home in him made his heart whole.