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You know this city, not so far away? Down there is a street called No. 6. There, on that street, is a place where it’s fun to come. It’s right next to that restaurant called Hetalian Foods. It’s a bar, it’s called Shinya’s Bar. The owner’s name is Hiiragi Shinya. He always stands by the counter. By the door, you will usually see a woman named Awashima Seri. She is the one to kick you out if you are causing trouble. Sometimes she won’t be there though. In those cases, you’ll see Heiwajima Shizuo there instead. He is crazy strong but hates violence. Somewhere in the bar, usually in the background, you’ll find a young man named Max Alors. He always has a broom in his hand. He always seems to be working on cleaning the place, and it is needed. If you go behind the counter, you’ll find a door, behind that, you’ll find a hallway. If you follow that, you will reach a kitchen with the chef, Nanase Haruka, in a bathtub on wheels. This is pushed around by his friend, Matsuoka Rin.
In this bar, many strange costumers come by. You might know a few of them, and usually, a lot of crazy stuff happens.
The door opened to the bar and allowed a blonde male with a pink t-shirt and blue pants to run inside with his excited expression. He took about one second to look around, noticing everyone at the bar before he closed his eyes and exclaimed:
“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!”
“Hello, and welcome,” Shinya said, smiling at the guy. “You must be the journalist who was sent to write a review about the bar?” he asked, politely.
Max, Awashima and Shizuo had never heard Shinya speak this politely to anyone before. Yes, today both Awashima and Shizuo were present because the one who were to interview them and write a review about the bar had requested it.
“This is so cooool!” The guy exclaimed. “Hiiragi Shinya is behind the counter, Max is standing there with the broom and… SO COOOOOL! Both Awashima and Shizuo are here!” the guy exclaimed.
“What’s your name?” Shinya asked, ignoring the guy’s yelling.
“I’m Jason!” the journalist said. “Say that line you always say when someone comes in!” he demanded.
“Would you like something to drink? I have this special drink with cola, redbull and some other good stuff,” Shinya said as requested.
“SO COOL!!! Yes! I’ll have some! This’ll be SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!” Jason yelled. He had only been there for two minutes and he had been at full energy all the way.
“Okay,” Shinya said. “You are expected to pay though,” he smiled as he started mixing cola, redbull and turned away before he poured the asti into the drink.
“I’m having Shinya’s Cola! This is going to be so COOOOOOL!!!” Jason yelled. “But what’s that third thing?” he asked.
Shinya turned around, having finished making the drink. “That’s a secret. I don’t want it to get in the article so I’m not telling,” he said with a secretive smile.
“SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!” Jason exclaimed, not even caring to ask further for the final ingredient in the drink.
Shinya served the drink and smiled as Jason drank some of it quickly before he moved on to ask Max, Awashima and Shizuo a few questions.
“Rumor has it you kick out an awful lot of people, is that true?” he asked.
Awashima looked unsure and Shizuo looked a little irritated, but it only took one look from Shinya to make him calm down and just ignore the guy.
“How many have you kicked out so far?” Jason asked.
“Eh… a handful…” Awashima said, unsurely.
“So COOL! Do you sweep the floor every day?” Jason now turned to Max.
“Eh… yeah…” Max answered.
“SO COOL!” Jason exclaimed. “Is it true that you are not payed for your work?” he asked.
All three now exchanged looks before nodding simultaneously.
“SO COOL!” Jason now turned back to Shinya. “Could I see what you have on the shelves?” he asked.
“Yeah, sure,” Shinya said, although deep down he wasn’t so sure if he wanted to let Jason do this or not, but he really didn’t want to refuse him if it meant getting a bad reputation.
“SO COOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!” Jason yelled before running to the shelves to check what was stored on them. He knocked down two bottles of Russian vodka in the process.
The door to the back then opened and Rin looked out. “What’s all this noise about?” he asked, looking from Shinya, to the three by the wall and then to Jason who had found some rice wine and was now reading on the bottle to find out exactly what brand it was.
“What’s going on here?” Rin then asked.
“Well, this guy came to visit,” Shinya answered. “Remember? The guy who is supposed to write an article about us,” he said.
“Oh yeah, good luck.” Rin was about to close the door when Jason caught sight of him and tossed the bottle with rice wine aside, also damaging that bottle.
“You’re the guy from the kitchen who always bicker with Shinya, that’s SO COOL!!!” he exclaimed.
“Huh?” Rin looked questioningly at the guy. How did he know who he was?
“Let’s go to the kitchen. I wanna see if there really is a bathtub on wheels down there!” Jason said before running past Rin down the hallway and to the kitchen.
Once Rin made it down there himself, he saw Jason, already in the bathtub along with a much displeased Haruka.
“This is so cool! I’m in the bathtub on wheels! How does it work?” Jason turned to Haruka to ask this question.
“Get out,” Haruka said before he stepped out of the bathtub and threw Jason out. Then he returned to his precious water while praying he wouldn’t return.
Jason was smart enough to figure that he probably shouldn’t go back there, so he headed back to the front instead, after getting dressed again.
“This is so COOL!” he exclaimed once he returned.
“That’s good,” Shinya said. “Do you mind paying for your drink?” he asked, reminding the journalist that he had to pay for the cola.
Jason payed willingly without even asking for the prize. He ended up paying too much, so Shinya didn’t mind not telling him the prize.
After another round of random questions and exclamations of “COOOOOOOOOOL” Jason finally became enough for all of them and he was kicked out full force, by not only Awashima, who was on duty today, but also Shizuo, Shinya, Max and Rin. Haruka only slightly helped by tossing a plastic dolphin at the guy and then heading back to his tub.
The following day, the article about Shinya’s bar was brought in the local magazine and Shinya cut it out and posted it on the wall across from the counter. Although he didn’t consider the source very reliable, he didn’t mind the praise. This is what was written in the article:
(Article)
The Coolest Bar Ever!
On the coolest street in town, No. 6, is the coolest bar ever. The bar is called Shinya’s Bar and it’s super cool. The owner is Hiiragi Shinya and he is also super cool! Also there are Awashima Seri and Heiwajima Shizuo who kicks people out. They’re cool! Then there is Max and his broom. He’s so cool! Broom’s cool too! And in the kitchen are Matsuoka Rin and Nanase Haruka. They are also cool! They have a bathtub on wheels down there. It’s so cool!
They have it all in the bar, along with all sorts of drinks and foods they also have good services, a happy staff who loves their jobs. All customers are happy. The place is beautiful and thanks to Max’s cleaning, also spotlessly clean. It’s so cool!
Everybody loves this place and you should check it out. This is the coolest bar EVER!!
(End of article)
No one who had ever been to the bar found any truths in the article. They had all had their own negative experiences with the bar.
When Hiiragi Shinoa finished reading the article, she closed the magazine and laughed so hard she could barely speak. She then looked up at Kimizuki and Mitsuba who had brought her the article.
“So, what was so bad about that place again?” she asked.
Kimizuki and Mitsuba blushed with embarrassment and irritation and turned away from one another.
“Yuu-san, you worked there once, right? How was that?” Shinoa then turned to Yuu for an answer.
Yuu scratched his chin while thinking. “I don’t know… I don’t remember much of it, it’s all one big haze if you ask me,” he said.
“You got drunk, Yuu-chan,” Mika said irritated. “I hate that place. You can’t trust humans, and especially not those working there,” he said coldly.
Shinoa simply smiled. “Maybe I should go check out that place someday,” she smiled and leaned back in her chair before opening the paper to reread the article. She had heard all sorts of stories from Shinya. He had never told her what her friends did in there, but everything else she had heard of. Therefore she found this article ironically amusing. She did wonder though; what was everyone else thinking?