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The shutter of the elevator doors ring across the Dealer’s Shop as Bullseye leans on a chair behind the counter, legs kicked up on the table in the back while he toyed with his gun.
He perked up at the sound of the lift, turning his head over expectantly to see his business partner: Dealer emerging from the doors. The Dealer’s stance looked exhausted, his gun hanging by his side as he looked a little sweaty, did he just go for a run or something?
The Dealer lightened up, his glasses reflecting the light of his shop as he spotted the cowboy at his counter. “*Sigh…* Oh, Bullseye, [[FANCY]] seeing you here!”
The star-headed salesman approached the other, finagling with his keys to get the door open to meet him half way where all the goods were kept. “What kind of [[STABLE BUSINESS]] do you have in my [[LIVING SPACE]], huh?”
The cowboy’s gaze followed the Dealer, as he spoke “Hm? Oh, I was just waiting for you to come back, that's all.”
The Dealer giggled almost girlishly, glasses shining in amusement. “Like a little [[CUTE PUPPY]]!”
Bullseye rolled his eyes at the tone of his mid sentence introjection, sighing. “Uh huh...”
“If I’m anything I’m a deer, buddy.” He points to his antlers, resting his sniper on the table.
“But really, I’m here because I’m bored, and Greed is trying to renegotiate my pay.”
“Until he gets his act back together I’m not going out there.” He readjusts his posture on the chair, facing his chest toward the back of the chair as he rests his hands on top of it.
The Dealer blinked in shock for a moment before adopting his usual bravado once again, twirling his revolver in his hands. “Ooooh~! A [[STRIKE!]]? I thought you were [[SMARTS]] enough to know you shouldn’t haggle with a sin.”
“[[HAHAHAHAHA!]] Believe me! I’d know.” He laughed maniacally, his movements twitchier than usual.
Bullseye senses the other’s… discomfort? Change in attitude? -and trails off, leaning against his chair, “...Yeah.”
The two sat there in silence for a moment. The air was so quiet you could hear the sound of Dealer’s gun shaking in his hands. Bullseye had worked for Greed plenty, of course he’s no pushover, but he always wondered why Dealer would get all shaken up whenever he was mentioned. Did he do something to him?
“*Ahem* Anyways… What were you doing out of the shop? You don’t usually go out at this time.” Bullseye questioned, trying to break the silence.
The Dealer stood there for a moment as if he were rebooting. The other tilted his head in confusion, raising up his gun to poke him on the hip with the nozzle.
“Hello?”
The pointy headed salesman trembled as if he were a chainsaw revving to life, his voice booming through his store. “[[OOOOOHH BROTHER!]]”
The sniper reeled back in surprise, a bead of sweat falling down his face. “Oh geez.” He steeled himself, he could feel from a mile away that the other was about to explode.
“You won't [[BELIEVE IT OR NOT]] the day I had!” He waved his arms around, aggravated.
“Those [[UNGRATEFUL]] little [[RODENTS]], [[STRAGGLING]] and [[HOARDING]] their [[$$$]]! Like [[GREEDY]] little [[PENNY PINCHERS]]!”
“They didn’t [BUY! BUY! BUY!] a [[SINGLE MAIDEN]] product! [[UP AND GO!]], opened the door just to [[LEAVE ME IN A DUMPSTER]].” He gestured wildly to accentuate his point, looking over at Bullseye in hopes he gets some affirmations.
“Rude.” The sniper said plainly, crossing his arms as his gun leaned against the table.
“[[I KNOW RIGHT]]?!”
“If I were you, I would’ve shot them in the face.”
“THAT’S WHAT I DID!” The Dealer yelled, grip tightening on his revolver.
“[[BOOM, BOOM, BOOM]] [[BANG, BANG, BANG]]! Left and [[WRITE]]!! I reduced them to [[BLOODY GORE]]!” He whipped around, pretending to shoot his gun at the walls.
“Pretty cool, huh?” He spun his revolver on his finger, leaning against the wall as if he were trying to look badass.
“Well, I guess.” Bullseye shrugged, leaning against the chair.
“Not as cool as me though.”
The Dealer rolled his ‘eyes’, letting out a frustrated groan. “Right, right. How’s YOUR [[KILL COUNT]] going and all, now that you’re on your little… [[STRIKE!]]?”
“Today’s [[PAYDAY]], y’know.” He leans into the other, poking him on the chest with his finger.
The cowboy’s eyes widened, he completely forgot his bet with Dealer was due today. He was so caught up on business that he had forgotten. “Shhhhhhoot! You’re right!”
He shakes his head as he regains his composure, in most cases Bullseye would win their bets. He was simply more skilled, more experienced than Dealer. If he weren’t admittedly afraid of upsetting Greed, he could probably live off the money from his and Dealer’s bets, ha!
“Well, there’s no way you could’ve gotten more kills than me, even with your… petty massacre situation.”
“I was NOT [[PETTY]]! It was [[PERFECTLY JUSTIFIED]]! You said it yourself!” His face almost burned red for a moment, if there was anything Dealer hated more than pesky delvers, it was being made fun of for his petty outbursts.
“Well, I said I would’ve shot them, not that you and I were justified in thinking that.” Bullseye replied.
“But I mean, being a little petty hurts nobody, but for you in particular it makes you look more…” He trails off, resting a hand on his chin as he thought.
“More [[WHAT]]?” Dealer questioned, tilting his head.
“Hmm.”
“WHAT?!” He exclaimed.
“I’m trying to word it in a way it won’t hurt your ego.” Bullseye almost chuckled through his words, he had to admit, Dealer was incredibly fun to tease-
“[51].” The other said flatly.
“Huh?” Bullseye blinked at him.
“[51] Kills. Beat that!” He pointed his finger at him again, hovering close to his face as a tingly phantom touch could be felt where the bridge of his nose would be.
“...” The cowboy blinked again, doing the calculations in his head.
“Ah…” He said quietly to himself, but loud enough for the Dealer to hear.
“C’mon, Bullseye, what’s the count?” The other leaned in closer, poking his cheek with the nozzle of his gun.
“Today alone I took out [14] delvers, and you? You didn’t take out any.”
A wave of embarrassment hits Bullseye as his face grows warmer.
“What’s that look for? My little [[GUNMAN]] ran out of shots to shoot?”
“...50. My kill count is 50.” He breathed out finally, bringing up a hand to nonchalantly push the gun out of his face.
“...Ha! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!” The Dealer bursted into almost deranged laughter as he zeroed in on the other.
“You can’t be serious, right?!”
The cowboy sighed, meeting his gaze. “I wouldn’t lie about losing, would I?”
“Who’s the one with the [[FRAGILE!]] ego now?” The star-headed salesman spat.
“I never said your ego was fragile, (you admitted that yourself, buddy.)” The other mumbled to himself.
“You’re [[BITTER]]!” The Dealer bit back.
“I’m unbothered.”
“You’re [[SEETHING]]!” He drew closer, his face heating up in frustration.
“I’m humble.” Bullseye responded again, trying to appear as cool and unbothered as ever.
“You’re [[BURSTING AT THE SEAMS]]!”
“Practically zen.”
“You’re-” The Dealer was cut off by the sniper poking his forehead, gently pushing him away with his finger.
“*Sigh* Look, I’ll hand you the cash if it makes you shut that non-existent mouth of yours.” Bullseye bargained, but unfortunately (or fortunately) for him, Dealer had other plans.
“Psh… I didn’t say anything about paying in [[$$$]].”
“...What?”
“I think I’ve got [[SOMETHING ELSE]] in mind.” The Dealer stated, tilting his head. His expression was completely unreadable. Something wasn’t adding up.
“What did you do with Dealer, huh?” Bullseye questioned.
“Passing up money? Winning over me? You’ve got to be some kind of mimic or something.” That had to be it. What do you mean the greedy money man wasn’t in it for the money?
“A [[SACK OF SKIN]] couldn’t replicate my [[MOTORMOUTH]].”
“Besides, if you were so sure, you would’ve done [[SOMETHING]] about it.” He responded. Well, that was true. There was no one quite like Dealer, and a mimic was admittedly already really bad at imitating others outside of appearance, no way it could replicate any of Dealer’s weird mannerisms.
“I know how [[OBSERVANT]] you are.”
“And I’m not just saying that ‘cause you’re a [[THE SNIPER]].”
“Don’t think I’ve not noticed you [[TAKING A PEEK]].” Dealer admitted with a purr, leaning in closer to the other.
“What are you talking about…?” Bullseye pulls back, his heart stuttering for a moment.
“[[Y’KNOW]], no one visits a [[BEAUTIFUL BUSINESS MEN]] this often, not even my [[STAR CUSTOMERS]].”
“You’re trying to imply…?” The cowboy squints at him.
“You know what.” The Dealer drew closer, to the point where their faces were almost touching.
“It’s something [[YOU]]’d want.” If the Dealer had a mouth he would’ve smirked. Bullseye stared at him for a moment, he was telling him that he was aware of his small crush on him this entire time?! For how long? Was he really that obvious? What, was betting and teasing enough of a signal that he might be interested? …OF COURSE HE’S INTO THAT! HE’S A DEALER!
“The [[CONTRACT]]’s written out.”
“Will you [[SIGN THE DOTTED LINE]] and take my [[BUSINESS OFFER]]?” A hand hovered over Bullseye’s cheek, the other staring intently into his eyes. Did… Did he want a kiss???
“(But you don’t have a mouth…!)” The cowboy thought to himself.
…
Screw it.
His face morphed into a mouth, his usually sharp toothy grin appearing on his face as he suddenly felt the Dealer pull him closer, closing the gap between them.
His mouth crashed against Dealer’s… nothing. Like. Actually nothing. He didn’t have a mouth to kiss with- where did he think he was going with this?!
He felt the Dealer’s hands snake onto his chest, pushing him against the desk as he tried to deepen this ‘kiss’, desperately nudging his face into Bullseye’s mouth.
Okay, Dealer was being really forward, he knew what he wanted. Maybe Bullseye should be flattered that someone like Dealer would rather suck his face than siphon a few dollars off him.
He felt himself fall back onto the table, Dealer pinning him down onto the surface as he held onto his leg.
The sniper squirmed, ultimately leaning into Dealer further, holding his face as his tongue darted out to lap at… the nothing that was there, yes, reminder, you are kissing nothing Bullseye.
As his tongue dragged across where Dealer’s mouth would be, he took notice at how warm Dealer’s face was, like the gentle caress of a nearby campfire was on his tongue, it kind of felt… good-
-What was that.
Bullseye almost reeled back as he felt something wet brush up against his tongue. No way Dealer had a tongue too, no, no, no.
He pushed him away briefly, eyes shooting open to see…
Dealer’s face… melting??
“How the…” He muttered under his breath as he looked at the spot he was just lapping at, seeing as that part of Dealer’s face was dripping with… ??? Something. It was made out of his body, that was for sure, it was white and glowy like the rest of him, it almost kind of looked like drool dripping from his chin.
Before he could make any comments, Dealer pulled him back in by the collar, crashing their faces together again.
He got to feel whatever was dripping from his face, on his mouth. It was warm, almost like his mouth was being run through warm water, except the consistency was thicker, more akin to honey but less sticky. It was weird. It was gross. It was…
Kind of attractive?
He felt a bit of the substance enter his mouth and travel to the back of throat, it tasted like nothing but pure warmth. He shoved Dealer away before he could swallow more- why was he the one pinning him down and making him gulp down his ??? Saliva? Anyways?
“Hey!”
“What? Can’t handle a little [[ACTION]]-”
The Dealer was cut off by Bullseye swiftly pinning him to the wall, his heart stuttering as he felt the chill of the wall pressing against his back.
“Why are you the one calling all the shots, huh?”
The sniper leaned in closer, eyes narrowing at him as he tried to relinquish control over him.
His mouth met his face again, more eagerly lapping up his face now that he was the one above Dealer.
The ‘kiss’ grew more passionate, as the sniper felt the other’s hands snake onto his hips. He leaned in closer, getting more used to the strange sensation in his mouth, actually growing to like it.
After a few moments, the sniper felt himself start to grow light headed, the only source of air being his breath mingling with the Dealer’s as he slowly pulled away.
The Dealer wiped off the drool where his mouth would be, gaze lifting up to meet the sniper’s eyes. He had that lost dreamy look, it almost looked funny in all honesty.
“WOW, I ALWAYS WONDERED HOW THAT WOULD WORK!”
Before he could say anything, the Dealer heard a familiar voice pierce through the comfortable silence. His body stilling as he slowly turned toward the Salesman who was leaning on the wall opposite to them. Bullseye followed suit, a flash of embarrassment going through his expression.
“WHAT? YOU’RE [L👀king] AT ME LIKE I [Killed your Grandma]! IT'S ON YOU FOR [[Swapping spit]] IN A [Public area]!”
She swayed her hips, giggling at them. “BE GLAD IT’S [Your old pal] [Salesman] AND NOT SOME [Random Joe Schmoe]!”
The Dealer let out a frustrated groan, digging into his pocket. “You little nuisance… look.” He pulled out a piece of meat from his pocket.
“If I give you this will you give us some [[PRIVACY]]?” He wiggles it as if he were training a dog.
“[[Boy will I!!!]]!!!” She grins wide, watching as Dealer throws the piece of meat in the elevator, the Salesman following suit and leaping toward it like an animal trying to catch a ball.
As she made it to the elevator where her prize was, it closed, taking her to who knows where.
“We really need to find a better spot to do this.” Bullseye commented, feeling himself relax now that he was alone with Dealer again.
“Eh, I’ll just tell Keeper to keep his little friend under control again.” He shrugs, his grip tightening on the other.
“So, [[PRESS CONTINUE]]?” He questioned, his head tilting.
“You’re that eager, huh?” Bullseye smirked, running a hand behind the Dealer’s neck, his body shivering at the touch.
The Dealer answered back, his voice more soft and reverent than usual.
“I guess I missed this feeling.”