Work Text:
There's a makeshift hospital in the ground floor of the Commander's tower now. They have way too many patients for one woman, but fortunately Abby is not working alone. Jackson is working by her side again. They are not talking any more than is necessary but their co-operation is as seamless as it used to be. Abby still doesn't know when he took the chip, or why. She can't forget his betrayal, but she can't forget aiming a gun to his head either. Maybe they are even now.
It's not just Jackson helping her, though. There are a dozen grounder healers, a little crude but - Abby has to admit - every bit as professional as she and Jackson are. An elderly woman with dreadlocks that are still black at the ends is giving a younger colleague instructions in the grounder tongue. Abby wipes her forehead. She doesn't know when she's last had a drink. She covers a shuddering patient with a blanket, gives her a smile, and retreats. She washes her hands in a pail. Not the most hygienic arrangement, but neither has working without gloves been. They make do with what they have. She goes over to a barrel with a tap, fills a cup and drinks. Water hasn't tasted so good in ages.
She leans against the wall and closes her eyes for a second. First she notices her feet aching, then come the memories. The scalpel in her hand, Clarke begging her. Stabbing the scalpel into Clarke's chest. Clarke crying. She has to think of something else. Immediately, she sees Marcus on the cross, bleeding. Herself, smirking with a gun to her head. Marcus breaking. Abby opens her eyes, shakes her head. She must not think. Better to keep busy until she's so tired she can't do anything but sleep.
She turns back to the room and stops. Everyhing is going smoothly, the old healer is discharging patients. Two grounder healers are washing their hands and chatting, Jackson is scanning the hospital assessing the situation. It dawns on Abby that they don't really need her. Nevertheless, she has to...
"Go. You look dreadful."
Abby jumps. It's just the old healer who's come up to her. She opens her mouth and closes it. She realizes she too has been discharged.
"Thank you," she says. She didn't know she looks as dreadful as she feels, and she's doesn't know if Clarke went to sleep when she told her to. She turns around again and leaves.
~*~
Abby, Jackson and the grounder healers are not the only ones who have been working tirelessly after the battle. The elevator is working again. Abby takes it and prays Clarke is in the Commander's rooms where she left her. Knowing Clarke, it's more likely she's not. It's still a start.
Abby goes and knocks on the door. She can hear shuffling from inside, and Bellamy opens the door. Clarke has tended to his face but it still looks bad. Abby hopes Marcus hasn't seen him recently.
"Is Clarke here?"
"Yeah," Bellamy says and opens the door wider. "She's sleeping."
"Good," Abby says and steps in.
Her daughter is lying on the bed, her tangled blonde hair covering her face. Abby sits down next to her and brushes the hair from her face.
"How is she?" she asks Bellamy quietly.
He is standing by the window now, looking out, but he turns and looks at her. "She's okay," he says.
Abby looks at Clarke, but she really does seem okay. Her face looks peaceful and childlike and she's breathing very deeply.
"You should get some rest too, Bellamy."
"Can't sleep. Octavia's still out there."
"How is she?"
Bellamy shrugs. "She's with Indra. That's all I know."
Abby nods. There isn't anything to say, really. Bellamy and Octavia, they're both struggling with what happened. As is...
"Have you seen Marcus?" Abby asks, then regrets the question. She doubts Bellamy would want to see him now.
"Yeah I talked to him," Bellamy says. "He was with the construction crew."
"Is he okay?"
Bellamy looks at her, then shakes his head.
Abby looks down. She knows Marcus has taken this all quite heavily, but she had hoped he'd kept himself occupied with work, like her. She glances at Clarke. The moonlight is illuminating her features, softening them. My little angel, Abby thinks. She can't possibly leave her.
"I can look after Clarke."
Abby looks at Bellamy again. He's leaning against the window frame, arms crossed at his chest. Bellamy and Abby's eyes meet. With a jolt, she realizes she trusts him.
"Very well then," she says and sighs, then stands up. She turns to look at her daughter, bows down and plants a phantom kiss on her cheek.
"Good night, Bellamy," she says, starting towards the door.
"Good night, Doctor Griffin."
Abby stops and glances at Bellamy. "You wouldn't happen to know where Marcus is, would you?"
She can see Bellamy's lips curl in a small smile. "The elevator operator's cabin in the ground floor. He wanted to be woken up if there's any trouble."
Abby nods. "Thank you. Oh, and Bellamy. Try to get some sleep too."
"Yes ma'am," he says.
~*~
Abby knocks on a second door that night.
"Come in," Marcus says briskly.
She turns the handle, opens the door and steps in.
He's standing by his bed, alert and composed. Then he sees her.
"Abby," he says in small voice, his shoulders drooping.
She closes the door, then walks over to him and hugs him. She feels his safe arms come around her and closes her eyes. She breathes in his familiar smell and lets herself relax for the first time that day.
They embrace for a long time until Marcus gently unentangles himself from her and touches her face. "Are you alright?" he asks her.
She shakes her head. "And you? Why aren't you sleeping?"
Marcus sits down on the bed, Abby sits next to him. "I can't, Abby," Marcus says. "I almost killed Bellamy." His voice breaks. "And I did kill... so many people. I failed." He is shaking his head, not looking at her.
Abby puts her hand on Marcus's thigh. "Marcus. You were chipped. We were all chipped. I tortured Clarke."
"Abby..."
"I did. And I let them have you. But I can't think about it now. I can't."
"I'm sorry," he says, looking at her and his compassion almost breaks her. She swallows.
He buries his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry about everything."
She grabs his arm, leans closer. She needs him now. "Marcus, look at me. You saved my life."
He looks at her and slowly, she can see him spiralling out of his grief to her.
"You took the chip to save my life," she repeats.
"Because I love you," he says, haltingly.
She wants to kiss him then, throw her arms around his neck and pull him into a greedy kiss, chase away the demons. But she shudders when she remembers forcing herself on him when she was chipped, and how he recoiled from her.
So she blinks, and she realises her eyes are moist. She's still holding his arm. "I love you too," she says. "And I need you."
He leans in and kisses her. She thought she was prepared, but she is not. Desire makes her dizzy, but she clings to him, returns the kiss hungrily. It's like the last time she kissed him, only now he doesn't hold back any more than she does.
It looks like they're not going to sleep after all.