Work Text:
Akutagawa was lying in his bed, his eyes staring up to the ceiling. It felt like no longer but two weeks ago. Two weeks ago Dazai left him. In truth, it was months ago, multiple months.
It made him sick to think of anything related to the demon prodigy. Dazai wouldn't only hurt him, sometimes he’d comfort him, those were his favorite days.
He was trying his best to ignore the burning on his arms, no one was allowed to know. If anyone found out that the hound dog of the port mafia cuts himself, they will be fucking disappointed.
He wanted to talk about anything that happened with the other, but he was so scared of doing something wrong.
Whenever he thought about it too much, he started doubting himself. He’d think over every detail and word.
Deep down he knows that he himself is in the wrong. Because Dazai would never do anything wrong, of course!
He bit the inside of his cheek, a habit he picked up when he was too embarrassed to fiddle in front of Dazai. He also knew Dazai would most likely not give a fuck, but in his head Dazai was this big demon.
Dazai never hurt him, he is just starving for attention. After he finally made it clear to himself again, that Dazai was the victim all along, he finally fell asleep. This cycle will repeat every day.
Forever.