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Lava refused to wear his glasses in public.
He started having vision problems in high school. At first, he went through a denial phase. He tried to convince himself that everyone saw the world as blurry as he did. That it was normal to have to squint to read the board in class, and the street signs he'd been walking past for years had always been difficult to read.
He didn't want to be forced into getting glasses. He saw what happened to the students who wore them. They were teased endlessly and called all sorts of names. They were treated like trash, shoved around and isolated from everyone.
He had enough issues fitting in as it was. He wasn’t good at emotional regulation, since nobody ever taught him how to deal with his feelings. Every morning, he woke up with the burning knowledge that his mother considered him to be a failure sitting heavily in his stomach. That didn't exactly set him up to have a good day.
Most people at school didn’t like him. They thought he was abrasive and had a foul mouth. Admittedly, he was prone to outbursts back then. Not that he was completely free of them now. But he was trying to improve himself. Looking back on how hot-headed he was during his school years always filled him with shame and embarrassment.
Point being, he didn’t want to give anyone the perfect ammunition to trash-talk him even more than they already did. And so, he kept his waning eyesight a secret for as long as he possibly could. Which naturally meant it got progressively worse.
Whenever he looked at his parents across the dinner table, their faces were little more than vague shapes blurred together. When he was sitting in bed, he couldn't even read the posters on his walls anymore. Since he couldn’t see the board in class, his grades went down. He didn't understand any of his lessons, and he refused to ask for a closer seat. He pretended it was because he was too lazy to study. His mother bought it and added it to the endless list of reasons to scold him.
The truth was, he wanted to do well. He wanted to make his parents proud. But he knew that nothing he could do would make his mom happy. It was easier not to even try, than to give it his best effort and be left disappointed in the end. At least this way, he could pretend that if he tried harder, his mom would love him. He could act like the fault lay in his lack of effort and not in who he was as a person.
But his father was different. He cared about Lava in ways his mother never did. He was the one who helped Lava with his homework, made sure he ate dinner, and even took him for rides on his motorcycle when he was feeling down.
His dad sat him down for a heart-to-heart one day. He’d noticed Lava squinting to read the words on the television a few too many times to be considered normal, and he connected the dots his mother didn’t care to see.
He was the one who convinced Lava to visit the eye doctor. He hated every second of it, covering one eye and reading the letters off a sheet across the room like he was a toddler just learning the alphabet. But his dad was there with him. He never made Lava feel stupid for anything. He even helped Lava pick out the frames.
His dad’s encouragement was the only reason he was able to march into class with his head held high and glasses perched atop his nose a few days later. It was nice, being able to see the world for what it really was. Rather than hazy shapes, he saw the beautiful flowers growing on the bushes outside of the school building. He saw the vast blue sky, covered in fluffy clouds and lit up by the warmth of the sun. He could read the street signs perfectly on his walk to school. His entire day seemed brighter and more cheerful.
It was like he'd discovered a whole new world.
He understood the equations on the board now. For the first time in a long time, he actually completed his classwork like he was supposed to. He felt smart. Maybe he wasn't such a disappointment after all.
But he saw the sneers being sent his way by people who already had a negative opinion of him. He tried to follow his father’s advice and ignore them. They weren’t worth his time. He knew how to mind his business, unlike some people.
All things considered, he was doing well. His improved vision lent to an improved outlook on life that helped him see the beauty in things he'd neglected before. Knowing that his father paid attention to him and cared about him helped, too. He was smiling and laughing more than ever. He did better in school. He even managed to form bonds with some of his timid classmates who previously thought he was too intimidating to approach.
Everything changed when his father died.
His view of the world became even more jaded than before. Every color dulled. The stars lost their shine. Every ounce of energy was drained out of him. He no longer had an interest in going to class. Somehow, his relationship with his mother deteriorated even further.
He didn’t fit in anywhere. He was completely alone. Nobody cared about him, so why should he care about himself?
During this time, he’d skip class, smoke cigarettes, start fights. Anything to get his mother’s attention. Anything to feel like his life mattered in the grand scheme of things. Because surely, if he acted out enough, she would do something to stop him. She would show that she cared about him, even just a little bit.
But that reassurance never came. Instead, he was only more sure every day that his life meant nothing to anyone. Which was why it was so easy to throw himself into other people’s battles. It was the only way he could be of some use to someone.
Such as when he heard a commotion in the school hallway when he was called to speak to the principal about his many absences. Normally, he would just ignore the summon. But his mother had driven him there and watched as he walked into the building to make sure he would attend the pointless meeting.
Why didn’t she go with him? Shouldn’t she be concerned about his attendance, at least enough to attend this meeting? But no, instead he’d have to explain to the principal that his mother had other things to do. It was honestly shocking that she'd taken the time to drive him there. She must've gotten tired of the principal’s countless calls.
He was thinking about ditching through a side exit when he heard a high-pitched squeak that had his head turning. Someone was getting shoved against the lockers repeatedly. Every time the boy tried to run, he was pushed into the lockers again. It was like some sick game. And to make matters worse, the boy was wearing glasses.
He saw his true self reflected in that scared, trembling boy. Somehow who did nothing wrong but was still rejected by the world. Someone who tried his best but was only met with pain. He couldn’t mind his business then. He hated seeing helpless, innocent people getting hurt and taken advantage of. He jumped in to put a stop to it.
Maybe wearing glasses wasn’t the smartest idea for someone prone to getting into fights. Lava knew how to pack a punch, even back then. But he wasn’t so skilled at dodging. It only took one well-aimed punch to knock his glasses off his face. To add insult to injury, the bully stepped on them once they hit the ground.
The sickening crack they made as they broke signified Lava’s heart breaking in his chest.
His dad helped him pick out those glasses. He booked the appointment and sat with Lava through the entire thing. And now, he wasn’t there to do it again. He was gone. His one light in this world had been snubbed out. The only person who ever cared about anything he did. This was the last thing he had to remember his father by, and he couldn’t even take care of it properly.
From then on, he vowed never to wear glasses in public again.
There was nothing in this world worth seeing, anyways. He preferred for everyone's face to look blurry, so he didn't have to acknowledge their existence. He wanted to be alone. To retreat into his head and dissociate from the fuzzy world around him. He didn't belong on this planet.
Unfortunately, he did have to start wearing contacts once he learned how to drive. Even though he could see clearly with them, nothing was the same. He felt detached. His body may be there, but his soul was off wandering on some other plane of existence.
It took him years to even muster up the courage to buy himself a replacement pair of glasses that he could wear around the house. He didn’t want anyone to see his weakness. He didn’t want to put himself in the position of being vulnerable ever again.
Wearing contacts was such a hassle. Putting them on in the morning and remembering to take them off when he got home was difficult. But it was better than being perceived as someone with a weakness.
But now, he didn’t even have the luxury of wearing glasses at home. Because he’d been sent away to live on this island where he didn’t know anybody, and he couldn’t allow any of them to see his true broken, melancholic self.
Before Wave showed up, he could at least wear his glasses in the comfort of his temporary bedroom. But even that had been viciously taken away from him. Wave was determined to follow him around like his shadow. If it wasn’t bad enough that Wave invaded his personal space all day, he also had to share a bedroom with the guy. Ever since Wave moved into his room, his glasses remained tucked safely away in his suitcase.
As a result, he sometimes forgot to take his contacts out at night. He was used to removing them as soon as he was alone, not right before bed. The next morning, his eyes would be itchy and dry, and he’d have to rush to the bathroom to remove them. But that meant he needed to let his eyes rest for a while, so he had to stumble around while doing chores for Peng.
Wave definitely noticed his decreased spatial awareness on those days. He constantly nagged Lava for bumping into him and almost dropping things.
“I’m just sleepy,” was his snappy excuse. “I couldn’t sleep last night because you were snoring.”
“I don’t snore!,” Wave protested, but then he paused with a contemplative expression. “Wait, do I?”
Lava initially laughed at his cluelessness. But when he thought about it, it wasn’t very funny. If Wave still had his memories, he would know if he snored or not.
He felt a little bad when he thought about it that way. He took pity on Wave and told him the truth. He couldn’t give Wave his memories back, but at least he could let him know this little detail about himself. “You don’t. Now get out of my way.”
He intended to bump his shoulder against Wave’s as he passed by. But Wave calculated that and stepped back at the last second. So instead, he ended up throwing weight against nothing but air, which of course meant he stumbled.
Wave caught him around the waist before he could fall. He wore an infuriating grin that made Lava’s heart clench. He was so close, and he was the only thing Lava could clearly see. Everything else around him was a blur. And for some reason, Wave didn’t pull away once Lava was steadied. He kept his arms around Lava’s waist, like they were meant to go there. Like he'd rather be doing nothing else but clinging onto Lava.
From this close, Wave was almost… pretty. His features were objectively attractive. The slope of his nose, the softness of his cheeks, the plushness of his lips. He smelled nice, like daisies and vanilla. His arms were warm where they wrapped around him, heating him up from the outside in. The warmth made it all the way to Lava's heart.
“That’s what you get for trying to act tough.”
Wave's words broke the spell he'd been put under. Lave squirmed out of his hold and stomped away without a word. He was worried that if he opened his mouth, all that would come out was stuttering nonsense. He could barely hear the sound of Wave’s mocking laughter over the thunderous pulsing of his heart in his ears.
Getting close to Wave was dangerous. He had to maintain his distance.
It only took a few weeks of Wave invading his space for him to slip up.
He forgot to remove his contacts before bed again. Which meant he had to take them out in the morning and bumble around all day. But he was used to that by now. He already had several bruises on his legs from running into things.
He should've guessed that Wave was too nosy for his own good. He should've found a better hiding place than his lonely suitcase, which was tucked away in the corner with nothing but his glasses case in it. He should've done a lot of things, but it was too late now. Because when he stepped out of the bathroom, Wave was sitting on his bed and holding his glasses with a little grin.
“So, this is why you’re always squinting.”
Wave had noticed that. Just as his father once did. That meant Wave paid more attention to him than the average person. It also meant Lava's mind was transported back to that day his dad convinced him to get glasses. His voice was gentle when he soothed, “Vision is a gift that you shouldn't squander. Some people need help to see, and that's okay.”
Lava rushed towards the bed and reached out to snatch his glasses away. But Wave held them behind his back and twisted around so he couldn't reach.
“Oh, you want them back? But I never see you wearing them.”
Lava tried to wrestle his glasses out of Wave's grasp, but the latter was so squirmy that it was impossible to keep a grip on him.
“What did I tell you about touching my stuff? Can't you stay out of my business?!”
“Your business is my business,” Wave answered with a huff. “I was looking for more clothes to wear. Somebody didn't do the laundry again.”
“That's your job, not mine!”
Lava finally managed to grab onto the glasses. But he forgot that Wave had a hand free. That proved to be detrimental. Because Wave grabbed him with that hand and pulled him closer, until their chests were pressed together. He was sure Wave could feel how hard his heart was pounding.
Pressed chest-to-chest like this, their hearts were so close to each other. Lava didn't know what to make of that.
Wave gave him an inquisitive look, trying to read him. Lava had gone still in shock at the sudden closeness. He didn't dare to move as Wave's gaze swept over every inch of his face.
He braced himself to be judged. To have his weakness used against him. No matter how much he tried to come off as strong, Wave would always know that it was all an act. He wasn't strong. He was the weakest person on this planet. And he'd lose whatever shreds of self-worth he was desperately clinging onto if Wave treated him as lesser than.
Wave’s face softened. He released Lava from his firm grip, only to rub his hand over Lava's back. “Why are you so tense?”
Lava swallowed dryly. His hand was still locked around Wave's, which was holding onto his glasses. Since he was no longer trying to wrestle, it almost seemed like they were holding hands.
“I'm not tense,” he insisted, lacking any of his usual bite. All of the fight drained out of him the moment Wave was pressed against him. Wave's hand was warm where it rubbed over his back. And his eyes were shimmering pools of starlight, threatening to pull him under.
He didn't know what would happen if he listened to his desire to press even closer. So he didn't. He maintained the little distance that was between them. That was the only way to keep his sanity intact.
Wave wasn't helping on that front. Because his gaze briefly dropped to Lava's lips before he slowly pushed Lava away from his chest.
It felt like a stinging rejection. Even though Wave was the one to pull him close, of course he didn't actually want Lava pressed against him. He only meant to mock Lava, to shove his weakness in his face, to laugh at him-
“What are you so worried about? Why did you hide your glasses from me?”
As Lava looked into those eyes that were tinted in concern, he found that he couldn't lie to them. There was a tug deep in his gut that compelled him to tell the truth. Besides, Wave already knew his secret. There was no point hiding it now.
“Because… I look stupid in them.”
Wave's delicate lips downturned in the corners. Lava immediately wanted to retract his words, because he'd disappointed Wave, like he always disappointed everyone around him. He was useless. A good-for-nothing. He could never make anyone happy-
Wave gently pried his fingers off the glasses. He opened them up and carefully set them on Lava's nose. His fingers brushed against Lava's cheeks as he put them in place.
Blurry shapes became defined lines, and his vision was clearer than ever. It was like he was seeing Wave for the first time. Wave's smile came back, bigger and brighter than he'd ever seen it. Darling dimples pushed into his cheeks and his eyes sparkled with the light of a thousand stars.
“You don’t look stupid at all. You look handsome.” His voice was softer than usual, almost… adoring. That was the word. Adoration was pouring out of his eyes, hanging from his lips, and clinging to his fingertips when he stroked Lava's cheeks, careful not to knock his glasses out of place.
Lava had never been looked at like that before. Like he was something more than a tiny speck of dust on this ever-moving planet. Like Wave found some worth in him that he could never find in himself.
Like he was the sun who made Wave's world go around.
He felt like Wave had torn him apart and stuck him back together. And this configuration of his psyche was different, because the shards of his soul were shoved against each other in brand new ways. It almost made him feel more like himself.
He was always scared of letting anyone in. Of allowing someone to see that he was soft-hearted and weak. He'd rather not give anyone the chance to hurt him. That was why he'd been so stubborn about holding Wave at an arm’s length. But Wave was even more headstrong than him. He refused to give in to Lava's constant pushing away. He stayed by Lava's side when nobody else would.
With the sunlight streaming through the window casting a golden glow over Wave's face, he looked like an angel in that moment. Suddenly, everything clicked into place and he realized how beautiful Wave was, inside and out.
Lava's life had been so dull, ever since he lost his light. He was a shattered shell of a human being. For so long, he thought he'd never escape the bland world he'd been forced into. But perhaps all he needed to regain his liveliness was a spark to ignite the flames within him. A new light to keep him warm at night.
Wave accepted him. He didn't laugh at his nerdy image. He didn't scoff and shove him away for having darkness inside him. Instead, he pulled Lava closer again. He looked into Lava's eyes, and his smile didn't wane at what he saw there. If anything, it only grew. As if having Lava close to him filled him with immeasurable joy. He didn't think his presence could light someone up like that.
“I like learning new things about you. Don't hide your glasses anymore, okay? You look so cute like this.”
Lava felt the tips of his ears burning, and he felt the urge to duck his head to hide the matching flush spreading across his face. But Wave's hands were still on his cheeks, ensuring he kept looking into those enchanting eyes.
Maybe Wave could see the good in him that he'd almost convinced himself was no longer there. Maybe Wave saw him as who he really was, rather than some elusive figure of strength that he'd always strived to be. Maybe Wave could love the parts of him that he struggled to love himself.
Maybe Wave could be his guardian angel.
The next morning, he woke up to the sight of Wave sitting up in bed and wiping his glasses lenses with a cloth. He was careful, holding the glasses like they could break at any moment. Because he knew they were important to Lava. They weren't only a tool to help him see, but they also represented how insecure he was on the inside.
Lava didn't like people touching his stuff. But Wave had somehow become an exception to that rule. Because watching Wave diligently cleaning his glasses had his lips forming a smile before he knew it.
“Good morning, Lava.” Wave greeted him without even looking as he continued wiping his glasses.
“How did you know I woke up?”
“Your breathing changed.” If anyone else had said that, Lava would have been creeped out that they'd memorized his breathing patterns. But again, the strange phrase only had him smiling. Because it was further proof that Wave paid attention to the little things about him that anyone else would overlook.
Wave finished wiping his glasses and set the cloth on the nightstand before leaning closer to Lava. He wore that charming, dimpled smile that melted all of Lava's defenses as he carefully put his glasses on for him. “You don't have to hide anymore. Just being yourself is enough.”
Nervously, Lava pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. “Uncle Peng and Tum will make fun of me.”
He felt childish and silly as soon as the words left his mouth. He sounded like a little kid who didn't want to be picked on at recess. Perhaps he had never matured past that scared child who just wanted to fit in, as much as he acted like he didn't.
Wave stroked his hair and leaned in even more, only to press a kiss to his forehead. “They will accept you. They care about you. Just like I do.”
Wave's admission was soft, but he may as well have been speaking through a bullhorn. Because his words hit Lava like a freight train, and he barely processed anything when Wave got out of bed and grabbed his hand to drag him into a standing position.
“Go brush your teeth, then we'll face the world together. I won't let you go through anything alone.”
Lava looked down at their joined hands in a daze. When was the last time someone held his hand? Or smiled at him like he was worth something? Or gave him even a modicum of comfort?
He didn't know. All he knew was, he wanted Wave to keep him close. He wanted to be important to Wave.
Wave squeezed his hand before letting him go and nudging him towards the bathroom. “I'd better not see you come out with contacts on!”
Lava nodded and mindlessly followed Wave's direction, heading to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth sluggishly, pondering over Wave's words. When had he become so… nice?
When he finished brushing his teeth, he took a deep breath before looking at himself in the mirror. His glasses were perched delicately on his nose, innocent and unassuming. They'd done nothing wrong, and yet Lava had rejected them for so long.
He tended to get smudges on the lenses when he wore them. But now they were perfectly clear, thanks to Wave taking care of them. But his glasses weren't the only thing Wave took care of.
Wave took care of him. Wave made him feel seen. Wave gave his emotions a place to settle.
He wasn't one for introspection. He preferred acting clueless about his own feelings. If he pretended the sting of hurt and rejection wasn't constantly simmering under his skin, he could act like it wasn't there in the first place.
But now, all of his emotions had bubbled to the surface. Wave didn't even know how much his words affected him. He wanted Wave to learn more about him and accept every part of him. He found himself yearning for more compliments from that gentle voice. He wanted to make Wave proud.
As he looked at his reflection, he smiled. For the first time, he felt like he could brave the world as his true self.
~🌋🌊~
Wave couldn’t remember a day when he was happier than this. Not that he had many memories in the first place. But something told him that even if he didn’t have amnesia, this would still be the best day of his life.
He was finally able to take a peek past the curtain and catch a glimpse of the fragile state Lava's heart was in. Ever since they met, he could tell that Lava was putting on an act. He overcompensated for his fragility by pretending that his skin was made of impenetrable armor and words bounced off him like water off a duck's back.
But truthfully, insults dug deep into his skin and left permanent welts on his psyche. Maybe Lava could fool others with a smirk and a few puffs of a cigarette, but he couldn't fool Wave. He knew Lava was soft and sensitive.
Maybe his old self was empathetic and that trait carried over into his new life. Or perhaps he had a connection with Lava that transcended time and space. Either way, he understood Lava without him having to explain himself.
He put a lot of pressure on himself. He took care of everyone around him, so much so that he forgot to take care of himself. He even stopped to help strangers at his own detriment. Wave should know. He was once one of those strangers that Lava helped.
Luckily, Lava no longer saw him as a stranger. The way Lava looked at him had changed significantly since then. Even when he still had an attitude and a smart mouth, his eyes were soft around the corners when his gaze met Wave's. Those gentle eyes told him what his mouth didn't dare to say.
He was like a puppy who sought compliments and affection. And Wave was more than happy to provide both. He was adorable with his glasses on and his cheeks dusted pink when Wave got close to him. He wanted to see more of this cute, shy side of Lava. He wanted to be the only one to experience it.
Presently, Wave was holding Lava's hand and leading him to the beach. He'd managed to convince Lava to wear his glasses outside. They'd already completed their morning chores. Wave found that he didn't mind them as much as usual today. That probably had something to do with how floaty and cheerful he was. He even hummed as he hung up the laundry.
They had a break for lunch and then Wave proposed a walk on the beach. He was pleasantly surprised when Lava agreed easily with a smile on his face. He didn't even pretend to act grumpy that Wave was being clingy.
Glasses or no glasses, Lava was undeniably attractive. But he looked so much happier today than usual, with his glasses proudly perched atop his nose. His happiness made him even more beautiful.
The glasses softened his face. His rough edges were rounded out, his cheeks soft and squishable. His eyes glinted in the sunlight. Wave wanted to kiss each one of his freckles, making a map of those constellations with his lips.
But he had to be patient. He was sure he'd get there one day. First, he had to keep chipping away at Lava's defenses. He had to make sure Lava felt supported and accepted. Only then would Lava truly open his heart to him.
For now, he was just happy that Lava allowed the hand-holding.
They ran into Tum on their walk. His eyebrows raised when he saw Lava's face. Wave could feel Lava stiffen beside him, anticipating insults. He clenched Wave's hand tighter for comfort.
“Wow, you look-”
Wave shot Tum a warning look. If he said anything to make Lava retreat into his shell, Wave would make him pay.
“Smart! Maybe you should work for Dr. Wut instead of Uncle Peng.”
Lava relaxed and let out the breath he was holding in. “Me, a doctor? Not if you want the patients to live.”
They exchanged pleasantries after that. Tum came to the beach to film. It made for an aesthetic background to his dancing videos. And now, he was going to the hospital to visit Kratae on her lunch break.
Tum didn't bring up the glasses again. He didn't even mention that they were holding hands. Which was good. If he said something about it, Lava just might get embarrassed and yank his hand away. This way, Lava could realize that both wearing glasses and holding his hand were normal things. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Once Tum left, he ran his fingers through Lava's hair with his free hand. Lava leaned into the touch like an affectionate kitten. He had to resist the urge to pull Lava close and squeeze him in his arms, ensuring he could never escape from his hold. He was too cute for his own good. “See, I told you nobody would judge you.”
Lava smiled widely, his eyes squeezed shut behind his glasses from the force of it. He looked like a little smiling manta ray. “You were right. Thank you, Wave.”
He never wanted to kiss Lava more than he did in that moment.