Chapter Text
As far as Eggsy could remember, Harry had always been there.
Well, maybe not always as in since the day he was born ; his presence had crept into his life, at first an insidious shadow blending among the darkness of his room, hot breath against the shell of his ear. It was, objectively speaking, eerie and disturbing, yet a comforting routine in Eggsy's world.
His mum would later tell him how fondly he used to describe his adult friend, whom no one had ever laid eyes upon but him. Oh, he was about three or four-year-old, yes, she remembered.
She knew indeed, because she had kept the drawings.
As much as any other child, Eggsy liked drawing. Whether or not he was skilled in such activity was no concern of him: all that mattered was that he was now able to concretely represent the way he conceived his world. As such, Eggsy would often draw a house with a big garden, although he had always lived in a flat. Standing in front of the very simple, cube-looking house, would be a brightly coloured and smiling Eggsy, happily holding his mother's hand - which looked more like an exploding cabbage than an actual hand, really.
And Harry. Whenever Eggsy drew, the little boy would inevitably add the tall silhouette of the man. His shape, straight and dark, would offer an intense incongruity in the middle of these vibrant colours.
At first sight, Michelle had believed it was Lee. It was to be expected: what other man could hold such a great significance to Eggsy, as to be a part of his drawings ?
However as time passed, Michelle soon came to realise her mistake. Little by little, Eggsy would add more details in his appearance, making it each time easier for her to determinate the dissimilitude between the man-shape and her former husband.
"Who's that, sweetie ?" she once asked.
Eggsy looked up from the paper he was drawing on, tongue poking out of his mouth, face set in a frown of concentration.
"But that's 'Arry of course."
Michelle knelt by his side and took a closer look. His artistic skills had dramatically improved since the last couple of month . There were now, she noticed, definitely faces, body shapes, and even clothes. The little boy grabbed the yellow-coloured pencil and drew a sun at the right hand corner. It was raining outside, but it didn't mean the sun wasn't shining in his own personal world.
"Is he your friend ?" she insisted. Could it be that some stranger had been able to contact Eggsy without her noticing ?
Eggsy merely smiled at her, sincerely delighted to have the opportunity to speak of his friend.
"Harry's my best mate for sure ! He knows loads of stuff about everythin' and he's like terrific at-..." But the boy stopped talking mid-sentence.
She saw him as he looked up, eyes focusing on something next to her, and it seemed to Michelle as if someone standing next to them had just caught his attention. Her most primal instincts told her that something was off, and she turned around, holding her breath, expecting a presence behind her back.
There was no one.
“ Eggsy luv ? What is it ? What are you lookin' at ?” She inquired, nervously licking her dry lips.
The little boy glanced back at her, visibly confused.
“You can't see him ?” he asked.
“See who ? Wot ? ” She inquired, suddenly feeling anxious.
“'Arry. He's just there, innit ?”
Eggsy pointed out something next to her, but there was nothing but air and dust. Michelle studied the face of her son and suddenly felt chilled to the bones. He was truly convinced of it, wasn't he ? It was stupid, she knew they were alone, yet she felt the need to check again. Nothing.
“There's no one here, sweetie. Just me and ya.” She assured, swallowing the excess of saliva that had accumulated in the back of her mouth.
He wasn't listening to her, though, and was still staring at this empty place next to her. Then, suddenly, the boy started giggling for no apparent reason. A shiver ran down her spine and she nervously stood up.
“Don't... Don't be daft, babe." She whispered, her dry tone revealing her growing irritation at the situation. "Mum's tired. Come on, it's time to eat.”
“Can I talk to you now ?” Eggsy whispered in the dark of the night. His mother had just tucked him in bed, which she had not done since... He could not even remember. She was always busy, repeatedly working, constantly tired.
Harry smiled at him, that particularly fond smile of him which only Harry could offer. His mother never smiled, or at least it hers was never as genuine as Harry's. There was always a nervous edge to her mouth, as if her face had become a rigid mask she had to forcefully bend in order to convey emotions.
He had asked Harry about it once, is she angry at me ? Does she not love me anymore ? and Harry told him it had nothing to do with him. She was just tired and still incredibly sad because his dad was gone. It made sense, if only because Harry said so, but rationality did not matter when such emotions were involved. To be honest, Eggsy could not quite recall his father's face anymore, even when he tried really hard to think about it.
Harry sat on his bed, and Eggsy heard the little crack his mattress always made under the added weight. A soft sound, so soft, like a feather in his ear.
“Yes, you can, my dear boy. But you must always bear in mind that you cannot-....”
“Talk to ya when there's someone else around, yeah, yeah. But I didn't though!” the boy
protested.
“You didn't.” Harry agreed, caressing Eggsy's short hair with a small smile.
“But why can't she see you ? You were just there, right next to her.”
“Eggsy ?” interrupted a voice through the door. The yellowish light of the corridor pierced through the shadows of his bedroom. The contrast was so bright it hurt his eyes, leading the boy to hide his face under the pillow.
“Eggsy, who were you chattin' with ?”
“It's nuffin, mum.” The boy muttered against his mattress. Harry didn't move an inch.
Eggsy could obviously not see his mother's facial expression , but he somehow felt that she was not convinced through the silence that followed. He pretended to fall asleep and waited even after she had closed the door.
“She's gone.” confirmed Harry after a minute or two.
Eggsy emerged out from under his pillow so that Harry could tuck him properly. Harry was very solid and Eggsy could feel his touch against his skin, but there was something eerie about him. Even in such darkness, he could see him well enough, as if the man was glowing from the inside.
“Can you tell me the rest of the story from yesterday ? I'm not tired !" The little boy explained although a yawned followed, but he seemed very determined nonetheless "Please, please, please, pleaaaase 'Arry”
“ Fine, how could I refuse a request when asked so politely.” said the man. “Well, so the spy had finally reached the evil HQ ...”
“Stop fidgeting.” ordered his mother in a hurried whisper.
Eggsy tried for five seconds but it proved to be too difficult for him to stay still when he was feeling so very nervous. It did not help that he was trapped in this dull little room with his anxious-looking Mum and an unknown woman with unsettling blue eyes. They were far too blue, far too clear, and far too protruding to be part of a human being. She had to be a monster of a sort. He did not even dare asking Harry on the matter. What is more, she had been writing stuff on her notebook for the past fifteen minutes. Maybe a new recipe which included Eggsy meat. Harry was standing behind him and Eggsy felt the comforting warmth of his hand on his shoulder, yet it still wasn't enough for him to feel at ease.
“Hello, Eggsy.” The blue-eyed woman greeted him, and the boy was surprised to hear how soft her voice was. Maybe that was how she could lure little boys to her evil and boring looking house. “My name is Dr.Hampton.”
“Hi.” He wished he didn't have to respond: he certainly didn't want her as a friend, but Harry had taught him the importance of politeness.
“Hello, Doctor, nice to meet you.” Corrected Harry, only for him to hear.
“Nice to meet you.” The boy repeated after Harry.
Harry had told Eggsy not to look at him when there were people around, so he always tried his best to find something entertaining to watch around him. He usually focused his eyes on stains on the walls or the chin of the person who was trying to communicate with him.
Never the eyes, not yet, had advised his invisible friend, because your eyes will always betray you. They will notice that you're not listening to them.
“Do you know why you're here, Eggsy ?” asked Dr.Hampton.
Eggsy uncertainly nodded at her chin.
“You're a psychiatrist. You want to see if I'm a healthy lad in the head, is all.”
From the corner of his eyes, he saw his mum startle on her chair, watching him with wide eyes.
“I never...” She mumbled, taken aback, then faced the doctor. “I never told him about it this way, I swear ! I don't know where he learnt that, I don't even know how he knows the word !”
Well, Harry taught him a lot.
“I believe you, Mrs.Unwin, and I think it is fair for him to be aware of the purpose of our meeting, don't you agree ?.” said the psychiatrist while scribbling something down.
“ It's like, one month ago, you know ? He caught a cold or something and you won't believe what he's told me, ma'm. He told me he was feeling "languescent". I dont even know what that means ! I had to look it up ! “
Next to her, she noticed Eggsy had gone visibly stiff, probably mistaking her attitude for anger or disappointment. She forced herself to calm down.
“He's a smart one, this one here .” She praised him with a shaky smile, but it sounded dodgy to his ears. At this point, when his mum tried to caress his hair, Eggsy felt even more ill at ease. The way she stroked his hair was so... Unnatural. Mechanical. He could feel the comfort she wanted to provide behind the gesture, but still.
Dr.Hampton watched them like a hawk with her icy blue eyes.
“I dunno where he gets that from" Michelle added as an afterthought." Not from me, that's for sure. Sometimes he speaks these posh words like it's normal. He knows things, things boys his age should've never heard to begin wif. Not necessarily bad stuff, just... Grown up stuff. Complicated things. And that's good I guess ? Maybe he's a genius or somethin'. But that's not the problem here...”
Eggsy avoided looking at her and focused on his dangling feet. This chair was far too high for him, but he prefered it this way. Harry's grasp on his shoulder suddenly became heavier and he froze, forcing himself not to crane up to search for the problem on his friend's face.
“...Harry.” He heard his mother articulate. She was speaking about him. It was maybe the first time Eggsy had ever seen his mother somewhat acknowledging the existence of his friend.
“I think it's only an imaginary friend. At first, he always talked about him but now he never does, and I'm worried, you know ?”
Her grip on Eggsy's hair tightened without warning and became almost painful. When he softly cried out because of it she realised her actions and quickly pulled her hand away as if burnt.
There was a tense silence in the room. Eggsy bit his lips and focused on a lost and lonely freckle on his right hand, while listening to the heavy breath of his mother. And then, all of a sudden, all dams broke and she burst into tears.
“ I'm worried ! I'm freakin' out !" she blurted out. "His da's dead and I'm all alone, and, and what if Harry is some real creep that's contacted my boy ? A pedo or a pervert like that ? Wot if i'm the bad mother here ? ”
Eggsy looked up at her, dread sinking into his mind. His lips started shaking and he tried to catch her attention; tugging at her sleeve.
"Mum !" he sobbed. "I'm sorry, I will be a good boy I swear, mum ! Stop crying! I will be good !
Michelle reached for her son and pulled him into a hug without a word, still crying.
Through his own tears and above his mother's shoulders, Eggsy saw the blurry vision of Harry standing awkwardly next to them. Watching them. He closed his eyes.
The psychiatrist concluded that it was not uncommon for children to have an imaginary friend, especially at such a young age. She added that children could often vividly experience interactions with their invisible friends, and that the precise description Eggsy could come up with concerning Harry was just a testament to the power of his imagination.
"Children tend to create imaginary friends when seeking for a source of comfort, but also as a way to cope with their fears, and sometimes it could be just a way to explore new ideas." She explained to Michelle, while Eggsy was waiting outside in a playroom.
"It might have to do with your stressful life: taking care of a young child all by yourself, as well as working multiple jobs must be mentally and physically exhausting; which, as a consequence, may have caused your daily interaction with Eggsy to be much less rich and numerous as it used to be. Nothing to worry about. He will come to realise his friend is not real. “Harry” will soon enough wear off. In the meantime, don't hesitate to play along. You may learn a lot about your child's concerns, interests or wishes through this Harry."
Michelle nodded, noticeably reassured. It seemed to her as if the light in the room was much brighter than before. All was well. When, shortly after, she entered the playroom to find Eggsy talking to himself while playing with a stuffed pug, she beamed at him and took his free hand.
"It's time for you and Harry to come home, luv".
Harry was very well aware of the situation. It all turned out to be a satisfying conclusion, as Eggsy would still need many years before understanding why and how Harry had to be kept a secret. As the boy and their mother approached the exit, the man realised Eggsy was still holding the stuffed pug in his left hand.
"Here, give JB the pug to me. It needs to go home." Harry whispered, taking the pug back to the playroom.
Nobody noticed the stuffed animal floating by itself, as if held by an invisible hand.