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Liam knows he's almost fully shifted when he wakes up, a growl barely swallowed down so he doesn't wake his parents.
It happens a lot. More often than Liam is willing to admit to... well anyone. Yes, Scott knows that Liam has nightmares, but they all do, so it's sort of become par for the course with them. But that is also why Liam has been pretending that the bags under his eyes aren't because he wakes up biting down screams and growls every night, he's a senior in high school, of course he pulls all-nighters.
It's just that things are finally getting back to normal, and not only by Beacon Hills standards. Monroe's been quiet, wherever she is, but everything in Beacon Hills is calm and so normal that unless you know about the supernatural, it is just an ordinary town. So even with the threat of Monroe returning, the pack is starting to relax. Stiles is back at Quantico, Malia is finally on her I wanna see the world trip, Mason and Corey constantly talking about gap years and college, Peter is pretending like he doesn't care about anyone like always despite Liam having caught him at the hospital dropping off food to the doctors and nurses in the burn unit, Derek helping Scott and Argent track down Monroe and her followers. And Lydia's off to school being the absolute genius she is.
Actually, Lydia is the only one who knows how bad his nightmares are. She texts him every day, just checking in, and then she video chats with him every Tuesday, without fail. They might all joke that Stiles is the pack mom, but to Liam at least it's Lydia. He sleeps easier after talking to her, but that only really helps on Tuesdays, which leaves the rest of the week to deal with.
Hence, the claws very nearly ripping his sheets to shreds. And the fangs making his lips bleed as he bites back the growl building.
Liam closes his eyes and does what has become habit by now when he wakes like this. He finds his mom's heartbeat first, slow and steady with sleep, then his dad's right next to hers. He wills his own heart to copy them.
But that's when he notices another rhythm.
One that he knows instantly.
Carefully getting out of bed and practically tip-toeing to the window, Liam knows what he'll see, but that doesn't make it easier to believe when he does.
Theo is standing outside, right at the edge of the property, his eyes firmly on Liam's window. Liam has to flare his eyes to see anything other than the shape of him. He finds gold flaring back at him. He knows the look on Theo's face, the perfectly neutral blank face that Liam seems to be the only one to recognise as fake.
Which is why Liam doesn't think too much about it when he opens his window and turns around to climb back into bed. He's barely settled when Theo is gracefully climbing through the window, closing it behind him.
Neither of them say anything for a long moment, but Liam has never really been able to hold out under Theo's stare.
"Do I wanna know why you're outside my window at-" Liam mumbles and turns to look at his alarm clock, "three in the morning?"
There is nothing accusatory about his tone, like there might once have been, but something changed for Liam when Theo offered himself up as bait to the Ghost Riders. And then it solidified when Theo showed up at the hospital and put himself in harms way, again, for Liam.
"Same reason as you getting out of bed at three in the morning," Theo responds, his tone indifferent, but Liam sees the bags under his eyes.
They are both pretending like they aren't there, just like they're both pretending that Liam can't smell it on Theo that he's living out of his truck. Liam doesn't like it, but he's also not as dumb as people have a tendency to think - except Theo, sometimes anyway - and knows that if he brings it up or tries to do something about it, Theo will disappear.
They both go quiet again and Liam does his very best not to fidgit. He might actually curse Stiles for giving him that habit as he stares down at his fingers, which desperately want to move at pick at each other. That means Liam only catches it out of the corner of his eye when Theo makes an aborted movement.
There's something in Theo's eyes when Liam catches them. He's not sure what exactly, but it makes him move over in his bed and pull the covers back.
Theo stares at him for a long, really awkward moment, but then he moves. Slowly, like he's giving Liam a chance to change his mind - as if he would. Theo quietly toes off his shoes and unzips his hoodie, revealing a white t-shirt.
"I'll probably wake up in about an hour from another one," Liam confesses as they settle on their sides facing each other.
Theo doesn't answer, he just gives the tiniest nod and closes his eyes. It makes Liam smile and whatever chemo signal that gives off tugs just a little at Theo's lips.
It's not like Liam just magically falls into an easy sleep without nightmares in five seconds flat. He tosses and turns until Theo sighs annoyed and grabs Liam, pulling him back so Liam's back is pressed to Theo's front. And still, it's only because Theo holds on tight enough that Liam is forced to relax.
The nightmare he has is a bad one. He knows he's probably had more before he wakes up, but this one is too realistic, too detailed. Everyone Liam knows turned to stone or lying on the ground riddled with bullets, black and red blood mixing on the ground.
So you can't really blame Liam for panicking when he wakes up. Especially when a hand claps over his mouth and then doesn't move, despite the fangs digging into it. The taste of blood in his mouth does nothing to calm him down.
"Shh," a voice says softly above him, "Liam, it's okay."
The voice keeps talking, but Liam doesn't process it, doesn't allow his brain to, because that voice belongs to someone whose face was just staring panicked and terrifyingly blank at the same time through stoned over eyes.
So Liam thrashes against the body trying to hold him down, trying to get free, because it was so real.
Eyes flare bright golden above him and Liam can't help but flare his own. "Liam, relax, it's me. I'm here, I'm alive."
The hand not over Liam's mouth grabs his wrist and pulls until Liam's palm is flat against a solid but moving chest. Liam knows that beat underneath it, would be able to find it anywhere, no matter how much the two of them pretend like he can't.
And all of a sudden Liam's muscles give out, his hand only staying over that beat, because it's being held there.
"Theo."
It comes out muffled, but it seems Theo understands anyway, because he removes his hands and slides off where he'd been all but sitting on Liam to hold him down. He lies down on his side facing Liam, who can't bring himself to turn to him just yet. He can't bring himself to look at Theo, not when he can still see the statued version in his head.
Theo doesn't push, doesn't ask, doesn't do anything but watch Liam. Theo can be annoyingly patient when he wants to, and there is no way that Liam is going to be able to ignore him for much longer.
That doesn't mean he looks him in the eye when he turns, though. His eyes aren't flared anymore, but Liam can see enough to notice the blood on Theo's shirt, both the blood Theo must have wiped off and blood at his sides that Liam can see through the claw-shaped rips there.
"Sorry," Liam mumbles, hating how much he sounds like a little kid.
There's a gentle finger under his chin, forcing him - but not really, because Liam goes far too willingly for him to admit even in his own head - to lift his gaze. When Liam meets his eyes, there's no judgement there, no anger, no ridicule. Just understanding and something soft that Liam wouldn't have believed possible a year ago.
"It's okay," Theo whispers back, his thumb moving to gently stroke Liam's cheek, "it sounded pretty bad."
Liam will never be able to tell or figure out why that is what breaks the dam, but it is. It all comes out, every nightmare, every sound that makes him flinch, how worried he gets when he hasn't heard from someone in the pack for over twentyfour hours. He tells Theo everything, and somehow finds himself whispering and crying into the crook of Theo's neck. He has no real idea of how that happened, but it did. Theo's arms are warm and solid and so comforting that once it's all out, Liam isn't crying anymore and it's hard to stay awake.
"I've got you," is the last thing Liam hears before he falls asleep again.
When they wake up next morning to Liam's alarm neither of them say anything. Liam just hands Theo a clean and not ripped shirt, mentally telling himself to replace the one he ruined, and smiles as he watches Theo jump out the window with a grace Liam wishes he had.
**
Liam doesn't close his window from then on.
Theo does that for him.
Every night after Liam's parents have gone to bed or left for work, he'll jump up, grab the window ledge and climb through. Sometimes Liam is already under the covers, other times he's sitting at his desk. In the beginning Theo just sits on the bed and waits or he joins Liam under the duvet. But after a while he's start joining Liam doing his homework, helping because of course Theo is actually a genius. If both Liam's parents are out, Theo will take a quick shower, which Liam notices starts taking a little longer than two or three minutes after a while.
Liam still has nightmares, but the bad ones, the ones that end with claws, fangs, and ripped, bloody sheets, are further between. Theo has them, too. His, however, end with him jerking up with his hand on his heart, like he's trying to remind himself it's still there. At least that's the conclusion Liam came to, when Theo told him about the nightmares.
The two of them also talk. A lot. At first it's stupid things, like school and homework, but then it moves on to interests. Theo listening intently to Liam telling him some random story from some point in history, or Liam watching fascinated as Theo tells him about some book that Liam has never heard of.
Those conversations are easy, light, but sometimes that's not what either of them are feeling.
Liam opens up first, talking about how hard it is to keep all of the supernatural from his mom and dad, how wrong it feels to go to school and walk around Beacon Hills and see the people who were so willing to let them all die. Slowly, Theo shares stories from when he was with the Dread Doctors. Every single story makes Liam's blood boil, which he thinks might be the only reason that Theo keeps telling them, or maybe it's because every time he has, Liam has curled so tightly around Theo that it borders on uncomfortable. Or it should, but it's like Theo fully relaxes when it happens.
Cuddling is also a thing. To the point where Liam can't sleep without it even if he's so tired he's almost asleep standing. That is just about the only thing they don't talk about. Liam wants to, but he just can't get the words out.
Liam hasn't even realised how much time he's spent with Theo until Scott comes back, and the whole pack has dinner together at the McCall house. Every supernatural turns to Liam and sniffs very obviously at the air. Malia's eyes flash blue, Derek tilts his head in a very Stiles like manner, Peter chuckles in a way that Liam really doesn't like, Parrish looks slightly curious, but Scott looks utterly confused. He actually looks behind Liam as if Theo will appear there - he won't even though Liam asked him to come.
Lydia scoffs at the whole thing, walks resolutely over to Liam and hugs him tight. Liam lets himself relax into her arms and tucks his face into the crook of her neck, pushing away the thought of how he misses Theo's day old stubble. The rest of the pack relaxes somewhat after that, though Malia gives him a bit of a wide berth the whole night.
Liam is sitting by himself at the edge of the yard, watching his pack have fun. Lydia shoots him knowing looks every once in a while, just like he does to her every time she reaches out and touches any of them for no reason. She told Liam one night that not only did she have to see them all turn to stone in her vision, but she found Malia and Derek while they were running around the school. Derek must know, too, because he doesn't even question it when Lydia's eyes come back into focus, only for her to seemingly realise that she's touching his face.
The same way Liam doesn't question it when a feline head nudges his shoulder. He just smiles and reaches a hand back, running his fingers through soft fur. He keeps doing it as Theo moves to Liam's side and lies down on the ground. Liam looks down at him and doesn't even bother pretending like Theo's very presence doesn't make him relax. A low rumble starts somewhere deep in Theo's chest when Liam scratches his head, something that Liam does when Theo wakes up from a nightmare.
"I really hoped you were wrong."
Liam looks up and finds Stiles taking a twenty out of his wallet and handing it to Derek, who laughs and then hands it over to Lydia when she clears her throat. No one else says anything about Theo's appearance, but Melissa - Liam still has a hard time calling her that, but the threat of being volunteered to clean the hospital every day after school is worse - comes over at one point with a plate of food and runs a hand over Theo's head.
When he gets back home Liam finds Theo already waiting in his room. He'd disappeared when Liam was saying goodbye to everyone.
Theo is facing Liam's desk, looking at the pictures he'd started putting up when he joined the pack. There are some of all of them, together, in smaller groups, in pairs, and then there's an old one with people that Liam never got to meet, but he still counts as part of the pack. Liam doesn't think about it, he just walks over and wraps himself around Theo.
"Did you know them?" Liam asks when he realises which picture Theo is looking at.
Theo shrugs, his shoulder moving Liam's head, "Some of them, but not well. I was too sick to be in school most of the time, so I guess I knew Erica better than most." Liam has no idea who Erica really was, no one wants to talk about Derek's betas, especially when Derek is around.
Something breaks through Theo iron hold on his chemo signals when Liam nuzzles the side of his neck. The pack doesn't scent each other much, except Malia and Derek, but the latter only does it to Stiles and Lydia, and Liam isn't entirely sure Malia is aware that she does it. But Liam's started doing it to Theo, not caring that Theo doesn't do it back, because he always leans into Liam as he does it.
"I'm glad you came," Liam murmurs against the bared skin of Theo's neck. All he gets is a quiet hum in return, but Theo lifts his arms and wraps them around himself on top of Liam's. It feels so domestic that Liam actually has to fight down the emotions that well up in him.
That's another thing they've been doing. Practicing. According to Theo, the pack is significantly untrained and unknowledgeable. Controlling his chemo signals has by far been the hardest part, but Liam is getting better at it. He can't force one forward that he isn't feeling, but he can stop them from showing.
Theo isn't that much taller than Liam, but it's enough that when he drops his head back onto Liam's shoulder for a moment it looks uncomfortable. Not that doing uncomfortable things with his body isn't something that Theo does like it's second nature. Liam hates that, hates that he constantly wonders if the hugs and cuddles and all the other physical contact is actually uncomfortable for Theo, but that he just does it anyway.
"Liam-"
"Theo-"
Theo drops his head forward and shakes it as Liam laughs lowly at the ridiculous movie moment.
Liam doesn't quite manage to stomp down on the worry that rushes through him as Theo pulls out of his arms. He doesn't go far, though. Theo turns and settles against the edge of Liam's desk, fingers curling around the wood.
"Liam, I-" Theo stops and frowns, his eyes unfocused and downturned, "Why do you keep letting me in?"
The question throws Liam enough that he just stares at Theo for a long moment, long enough that Theo lifts his head and meets Liam's eyes.
"Are you for real?" Liam doesn't let Theo answer, "Because I trust you. I know that you don't believe that or think I should. Hell, most of the pack probably doesn't, but I do." Liam steps closer and bites down on a smile when Theo immediatly widens his stance to let Liam step between his legs. "Mostly, though, I trust you, because you trust me."
Theo's head is tilted back a little to meet Liam's eyes and they have never been less guarded. There has always been some barrier there, even when they've had what Liam in his head likes to call moments. In those instances there might have been cracks, but right now Theo is knowingly or unknowingly letting Liam see all of it. The confusion, the worry, the flicker of hope, and the sadness that Liam doesn't think Theo is willing to admit to.
"I could have chosen to trust you for all the times you've saved my ass," a chuckle and the softest smile Liam has ever seen appears on Theo's face at that, "but I don't. Those things might have made me trust you in a fight, when someone wants to kill me, you're the first person I'd call, sure, but that first night-" Liam doesn't have to specify, Theo knows, "That first night, you closed your eyes. And yeah, that could definately be written off as arrogance that I couldn't kill you, or wouldn't, but I know that's not it. You trusted me to be there, despite the fact that I very well might find out about your nightmares."
Liam's hands move from where they've been on Theo's shoulders and cup his face instead. Theo just watches him, waiting for Liam to go on, but he can't. Sure, there's plenty more he wants Theo to know, but he kind of gets lost in those eyes.
He misses them when Theo closes his eyes, but that is soon forgotten, because after a moment and a twitch of the hands on his hips Liam's senses are all but assaulted by chemo signals and the actual rhythm of Theo's heart. There are so many feelings that Liam can't quite piece them all together, but the way Theo's heart instantly picks up speed and goes rather erratic tells Liam everything.
So, Liam doesn't bother with words anymore, doesn't bother overthinking his actions. He just steps a little closer and leans down to press his mouth to Theo's.
Liam's plan was for the kiss to be soft and sweet, because he is maybe a little bit of a romantic, but the moment his lips touch Theo's, it's game over. Though, it's not desperate like Liam would have then thought. It's just... insistent. No teeth. Hell, there's not even tongue. It just seems like they can't get close enough to each other. And Theo is so warm against him that Liam wants to melt.
Theo pulls back first and Liam absolutely doesn't try to follow him. He fully expects Theo to do his trademark smirk, but he doesn't. His face almost goes a little slack, like he can't quite believe that this is happening. Liam sympathizes.
"I've wanted to that since I saw you try to control that fucking horse," Theo whispers, a disbelieving laugh making its way into his voice.
"Why didn't you?"
One of Theo's eyebrows raises quickly, and he doesn't really have to say anything for Liam to understand, but he does anyway, "Pretty sure you would, at the very least, have punched me in the face."
Liam concedes, but he doesn't like the something flittering through Theo's eyes, so he leans in and kisses him again. This one sweet, but still firm. Theo's hands settle so perfectly on the curve of Liam's hips that he can't keep down a shiver.
Later, when they're lying in bed and Liam is tracing his fingers over Theo's face, Liam realises that there's something he's never told Theo. And he really should have.
"Hey."
Theo keeps his eyes closed, but hums in response. He looks so relaxed and peaceful in one of Liam's lacrosse jerseys that he almost changes his mind about speaking. They haven't done anything but kiss and run their hands over clothes, but they have time is what Liam reminds himself.
"I forgave you, you know."
He doesn't elaborate, mostly because Theo's eyes snap open and the raw hope and pain there makes Liam choke on his words. But he swallows and moves in close enough for his nose to brush against Theo's.
"I forgave you," Liam repeats, "for everything. A long time ago. Before you told me what your life was like from the age of nine. Before you showed up here and helped me fall back asleep. Before you showed up at the hospital and saved my life. I don't know why, but I forgave you a long time ago. I'll never forget what happened, but I forgive you, Theo."
Something warm and wet hits his nose, but he pretends not to notice. They're both quiet for so long that Liam would think Theo was sleeping if it wasn't for his heart beating like crazy against Liam's chest.
"Thank you."
Theo doesn't say anything else, and Liam doesn't need him to. He just closes the distance and kisses him.
**
At the next pack dinner everyone freezes as Liam and Theo enter the McCall yard, hand in hand.
Liam can feel Theo getting ready to bolt if he has to, so Liam tightens his hold on his hand. And again, it's Lydia who approaches. She hugs Liam like always, kissing his cheek, and then she turns to Theo, who looks like he's facing the gallows. He looks worse than he did when Liam's mom walked in the morning after their first kiss with the announcement that if Theo didn't start staying for dinner when he stayed over then Liam would be disowned.
"Hurt him and they will have to spend month trying to find all of you," Lydia says with the attitude of someone saying the sun is shining.
"Yes, ma'am," Theo responds and then freezes when Lydia puts a hand on his cheek.
If Liam hadn't been to absorbed by the two of them, he might have noticed Scott handing Argent a twenty, which he accepts with a satisfied smirk, and Stiles trying to bury his laugh in Derek's shoulder.
Liam knows that it will take time for everyone to be okay with Theo being around, longer before they trust him with anything other than Liam, but he knows they'll get there when he sees Scott squeeze Theo's shoulder and smile before pulling him over to the food.
He doesn't think much of it when Stiles comes over and wraps an arm around his shoulders. He just leans into his side and drops his head to Stiles' shoulder.
"Don't let him wallow in it too much." Liam lifts his head enough to look at Stiles. He doesn't get a chance to ask for an elaboration for he gets one, "I made that mistake," Liam follows his gaze to Derek, who's laughing at something Parrish said, "No matter how much he might fight, you can't let him disappear into that place."
Liam knows exactly what Stiles means this time. He's seen that distant look on Theo's face too many times not to know.
"Thank you for not hating me for this," is all Liam can think to say.
Stiles laughs, "Well, what kind of pack mom would I be, if I didn't support you."
"Lydia's my mom," Liam says without thinking, and then has to deal with not only Stiles laughing enough to dislodge Liam's head, but also every supernatural joining in.
Liam's face only gets more red when Lydia calls over, "Stiles, leave my baby alone."
That sets off a debate between Stiles and Lydia that holds everyone's attention, because watching those two will always be interesting.
A pair of arms come to rest around Liam's middle and he leans back into Theo. It's pretty much perfect.