Work Text:
After that day where she saw the doodle of a strange creature in Shizuka's notebook, Marina decided to stop bullying her. She wasn't sure of the exact reason herself, but seeing that silly thing, crying together, feelings of hatred towards her lessened. She thought about it, after her and Shizuka split and headed to their respective homes. It wasn't really her fault, was it? She couldn't choose what clients her mother took. She doubted being a child of a prostitute was easy, either. It's not like it made much money. She was one of the poorest girls in their school. Also, you got picked on a lot.
Picked on by people like Marina.
It's not like bullying her was going to change anything about her own life. Shizuka wasn't in charge of who her mom slept with. So, she made the decision to stop.
Her friends, Aya and Fumiko, were confused when she told them.
"But why, Marina?" Aya asked. "Isn't she the daughter of—"
Marina interrupted her. "Writing names on her desk, ruining her stuff. It's childish behavior,"
*"*You want to be friends with her? But she smells, and her hair is a mess," Fumiko said.
"We don't have to talk to her," said Marina. "It's best to just... Ignore her. That's all. Treat her like anyone else."
Marina glanced across the room at Shizuka, who was staring at a notebook on her desk. While at a glance it looked like she was studying, the blank look in her eyes showed that her mind was far away, somewhere else.
Marina felt a brief wave of nausea, and looked away.
"Did... Did you get in trouble with a teacher? Or your parents? Is that why—"
"There's no reason to be friends with her, but there's no reason to pester her either," said Marina. "I came to that decision on my own."
It was her mother who had hinted at her that she should treat Shizuka "the way she deserved" anyway. Even if she had known what Marina was doing to her, she highly doubted that she would've been scolded.
Her friends backed off on the topic after that, and Marina assumed that would be the end of things. She was the ringleader of the bullying, after all. If it wasn't for her in the first place, Shizuka would've just been left alone.
She put it in the back of her mind. When she went home, she tried her hardest to not think of Shizuka. She watched some dull variety show on television until the tension coming from her mother was too much to handle, and then she went to her bedroom and played on her DS.
The next day at school, however, cruel words were written on Shizuka's desk. "Go die." "Slut." The sort of things Marina used to write on her desk less than a week ago. The sort of things she used to write with—
"I told you two to just ignore her!" She turned to her corner of the classroom. Aya and Fumiko were of course, already there. They were the ones who had done this, after all.
"She's poor, and stupid!" Aya told her.
"Yeah," Fumiko agreed. She's a leech on this class, don't you think? Impossible to ignore—"
Marina rushed out of the classroom to find a bucket and cloth to clean it up.
"Oh, come on Marina, really? Why are you sticking up for her all of the sudden?" Aya wanted to know. She approached Marina.
She wiped the desk. The ink smeared on it. "There's no reason to do this."
"But—"
"I'll tell the teacher!"
"Like she'll do anything!"
That was true. No one had done anything about Marina. Why wouldn't the ink go away?
"Marina? What are you doing?" asked a quiet voice.
Marina looked up. Shizuka had arrived. Her head was tilted. Aya scoffed and returned to her seat.
"I'm..."
Shizuka looked at the cloth, and took it from her.
"There's no point," she said. "It'll just happen again tomorrow..."
"But..."
"Thanks for trying, though." She smiled gently.
Marina looked away, face turning red.
Her friends didn't sit with her at lunch. They talked amongst themselves, whispering and looking at Marina. She ignored them, staring at her plate instead.
The only other person eating alone was Shizuka, of course.
Her curry tasted plainer than usual.
Despite what Shizuka had said that morning, Marina wiped her desk off after school anyway.
Marina's attempts to put an end to Shizuka's bullying continued. Her friends (who were steadily turning into her former friends) ignored Marina's pleas to leave her alone, and would continue to pick on her in the old ways Marina taught them how to pick on her. Marina tried her best to intervene when she could. If they stole Shizuka's notebook, she would take one of her spare ones from home and copy all the notes. If they were on lunch duty and tried to knock Shizuka's plate over her, Marina would help her clean up, and share with her her own portion of food. If she walked at least partway home with Shizuka every day, there was no way they could get her alone and be physical with her.
Shizuka never said much to Marina. Sometimes a quiet 'thanks' and she would say 'bye' when they left. She had always been on the quiet side, though, even before Marina had started to hurt her.
About a week after this started, Marina could tell that her mother was in a bad mood right as she got home.
She hid in her bedroom for as long as she possibly could, but eventually suppertime came, and it was inevitable.
Father was out, though that wasn't anything new at all. Her mom had already wrapped up his portion of dinner, no hope that he would come home in time.
Marina ate as quickly as possible. When she got up to clean her plate, her mother started.
"Aya's mother told me, that lately you've been befriending the child of that whore."
"That's not... They're exaggerating. I just..." Even if her mom would probably encourage it, it felt strange to admit to her that she had been bullying Shizuka for months. "I just decided I would try being a bit nicer to her, that's all."
"Why?"
"I mean... None of this is her fault, is it? It must be rough, being the daughter of a prostitute."
"Do you think so?"
"Yes."
"She's living off of our money!" Her mother shouted.
"But... It's not like she's the one taking it from us—"
"She is! That bitch made the mistake of having a bastard child, and now she has to take care and provide for her, all alone!"
"But..."
Her mom's plate was knocked to the floor. Marina jumped as it hit the ground and shattered.
"You've been acting strange lately!" her mother said.
"There's... There's been a lot going on," Marina said.
"That's no excuse to suddenly start sucking up to her!"
Marina ignored her. She got up and grabbed a dustpan to clean up the remains of the plate. Then she could find a way to excuse herself, and return to her room. Her mother would have calmed herself down by the next morning, and this conversation would be put behind them.
"Look at me when I talk to you!"
Marina looked up. When she did, something struck her face. She heard a shatter on the floor, and felt something run down her face. Marina looked down. Glass on the floor. Her mother had thrown a cup at her. It hurt. It really hurt. Her eyes filled with tears. She touched her hand to her cheek, and held it up. Bright red.
Her mother fell to the floor, eyes wide.
"Marina, I'm sorry— I didn't mean—"
She reached out her arms towards Marina, wanting to comfort her. Or to be comforted herself?
Marina had no interest in either. She ran.
She turned and bolted out of the house. Where she was running to in that moment, Marina wasn't completely sure. She just knew she needed to get far away from that house, far away from her mother, far away from everything.
She had ran for about five minutes when she realized she hadn't put on her shoes.
She felt the cool grass between her toes, the crisp air of the night, the wetness on her cheek from where her mother had sliced her. She could feel the blood running down her cheek.
What was that? She had thought her mother was going to kill her. Why? Marina took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm her beating heart.
It's not like this was the first time her mother had ever struck her, but it was usually with fists, and it was usually in a place that clothing could hide. Throwing a glass at her? What if it had gotten into her eye? She would've been blind. On her cheek was bad enough. It was a spot that was impossible to hide. What lie could she ever come up with to hide this? She had ran out of the house without any plan on where to go. What if an adult saw her? She would certainly be taken to the police, and then taken away from her mother. Or would her mother be taken away from her? Would she go to jail? Marina didn't want her mother to go to jail. This wasn't her fault, not at all. She used to be a good mom, before—Before her dad started seeing that—
It was her father's fault, that's what it was. It was he who should have the blame laid on him, he who should be sent away.
She sat in those woods for long enough she lost track of time. Where could she go? She needed to get the cut bandaged up, but any adult would ask questions that she didn't have an answer for. Where was she even? Enough time had passed she didn't remember what way she had ran from.
Marina didn't want to return home, but the darkness of the woods were starting to scare her. She stood up. She needed to find a road, orient herself. Perhaps she could go to a convenience store where the part-time worker would be too tired to ask too many questions, and buy some first aid supplies. Once it was late enough that her mother was sure to have given up on waiting for her and went to bed, she could sneak in through her window. Then she could leave early for school the next day, and then...
She would have to confront her eventually. She could figure out what to do when it was time for that, though.
Eventually, she stumbled upon a traditional-styled house that looked old and a bit beaten up. A white and black dog on the porch growled at her slightly, and let out one bark.
Marina took a step back, not wanting to wake the owners of the house. A girl even more familar-looking than the dog however, walked into view onto the porch. Shizuka.
"Marina? Is that you?"
"Hello," she said lamely.
That's right. This was Shizuka's dog. She had one. Marina was always jealous of her for having one. She had wanted one herself, but her mother had said that pets were too much trouble to take care of. It didn't seem fair to Shizuka. She was poor, but her family could still afford a dog. Why couldn't they have one? This was Shizuka's house, then, if she and the dog were here. Somehow, Marina had ran far away enough from home that she ended up on the other side of town.
"What happened? You're bleeding."
What did happen? She would have to think up an excuse. But what—What was it she could say?
"Marina?"
"It's... I..."
Marina looked at her carefully. "Come sit here. I can help you clean it up."
"Are... Are you sure?"
Shizuka nodded. Marina slowly approached the house. The dog growled at her when she sat down.
"Leave her alone," Shizuka told it. The dog rested its head down, but still looked at Marina while Shizuka headed off to find whatever first-aid kit was in the house. The floorboards made a slight squeak as Marina sat down.
Could she pet the dog? Would it be okay? She wanted to pet it, but it would just make things worse if it bit her.
Shizuka returned, first aid kit in hand. She sat by her and moved to wipe Marina's face off.
"I can do that," Marina told her. She took the washcloth and rubbed it across the wound. The cool water felt good. It helped to clear her mind and distract her from the pain of the wound.
Shizuka opened the first aid kit. She frowned when she looked up, and saw the wiped-off wound.
"That looks deep," said Shizuka. "Maybe you should go to the clinic."
"That's not necessary."
"It might need stitches though. I dunno how to do those." She rummaged through the kit. "Best I can do is put disinfectant on it and bandage it."
"That's all it needs."
Shizuka hummed skeptically, but gave in. She dabbed something on it that made it hurt more.
Marina hissed. "I really don't think it'll get infected."
"It was a bit dirty. How long were you running around the woods for?"
"A bit..." Marina admitted.
It wouldn't scar, would it? Marina hoped not. She didn't want to be looked at and asked the rest of her life where she got it from.
"Where did you get it from?" asked Shizuka.
"I..."
A noise came in from the house, of the front door opening. Shizuka turned.
"Who's over at this time of night?"
It was her. The whore that had taken her father away.
Marina turned around to look at her.
"Isn't this?"
When Marina pictured the whore that seduced her father, she always imagined some loose looking tramp, young, wearing skimpy clothes and dyed-blond hair. Shizuka's mother though, didn't look much different than a regular office worker. The tired look in her eye wasn't much different than the tired look in her father's eye after he returned from a long day of work.
"What happened to her face?"
Shizuka looked at Marina. When Marina still didn't have an answer, Shizuka answered for her.
"She fell. Cut her face on some branches."
The mom sighed. "This time of night? Really?"
"I'm clumsy," said Marina.
Shiuzka's mother looked right at her. Did she know who she was? Did her father ever talk about her, during their... Meetings? Marina didn't want to think about that. She looked down and shifted her feet.
"Can she stay for a bit?" asked Shizuka.
"Whatever. Don't be too noisy. I'm going to bed."
"Let's go a bit further outside," said Shizuka, picking up her supplies.
The dog followed them as they sat on the cool, night ground.
"The light's not very good, so I dunno how well I can do," Shizuka told her.
"It's all right."
"Are you sure you don't want to go to a doctor?"
Marina shook her head no. Shizuka resumed patching her up.
Shizuka's mother... Marina thought about her brief impression of her. She wouldn't say that she seemed nice. She seemed cold. It was wrong for a mother to be away from her child this late at night, wasn't it?
She didn't seem bad though. She had let Marina stayed.
Did she ever hit Shizuka? For some reason, Marina didn't think so. She didn't seem like she was scared of her mother being angry when she had a visitor this late a night. A visitor like Marina too, who had an awkward connection to them.
A mom that was always around, but was unpredictable, or a mother that was never around, but was always the same? Which one of them had it worse? Marina wondered as Shizuka applied a sort of medical tape to her face. She wasn't aware of the exact term. Shizuka was good at this, fixing up her wounds. If Marina had done this on her own, she would've just put the biggest Band-Aid possible on it and hoped for the best. She was practiced, like she had dressed wounds numerous times before.
Because she had. She probably cleaned up the wounds Marina had caused her all by herself.
Marina had hurt her. Marina had caused her plenty of scraps. She felt ill. Her and Shizuka may be on neutral terms, but still. There was no reason for her, to help take care of Marina. She could've turned her away, and Marina wouldn't blame her at all for it.
"Where did you get that cut?" Shizuka asked her again. "You can tell me."
"It's..." She could say that she fell, but you got scrapes from falling, and not cuts, didn't you?
"Was it one of your parents?"
"That's—" How did she know? "They're good parents."
"I overheard your friends talk about it the other day," Shizuka said. "You come to school with bruises sometime. They thought that was why you were being nice to me all the sudden. Your mother threatened you."
"I changed my mind on my own."
Shizuka didn't reply to that.
"It's all done," said Shizuka. "For now. You'll probably need to change it a few times before it heals."
"Do you... Do you think it'll scar?" Marina asked her.
"I dunno."
Marina was thankful that she had never cut Shizuka deep enough that she knew the answer to that.
"I hope it doesn't. It'll look gross. People will think I'm a delinquent."
"You're already one," Shizuka told her.
"What? I'm not! I'm respectable in every manner."
"You're out late at nights."
"That's— So are you."
"You're rough, too," Shizuka told her.
"Yeah, well. I'm trying not to be anymore."
"You're trying to improve your image?"
"I thought I was, but it's getting worse, somehow."
"I think it's better," said Shizuka.
Marina felt herself blush. "Well— Well, you're the only one that thinks that."
"Better than no one else. We could ask Azuma," said Shizuka. "About the wound. His parents own the clinic, so he probably knows this stuff. He's not mean, anyway. Maybe he could get us a cream to help it heal faster."
Marina wasn't sure if that was how it worked, unless he stole it for them. He doubted the boy would do that for them, he was always so serious about everything.
"Do you live far from here?" asked Shizuka.
Not far enough. "I can go home."
"No. It's late. Why don't you stay over?" asked Shizuka.
"But— Your mom."
"She won't care. We just need to be quiet when we leave in the morning, that's all."
Oh, her mother would not be happy with her if she caught wind of this. It was her fault though, she was in this situation.
"If you say it's okay."
They went into Shizuka's house together, the dog following close behind them. Shizuka laid down on the edge of her futon, gesturing for Marina to lay on the other side. Before she could though, the dog laid right there.
"That's where he usually sleeps. Do you still have enough room?"
Marina did, barely, but she was at risk of touching the dog.
She wanted to touch the dog.
"... Can I pet him?" Marina asked.
Shizuka nodded.
Marina laid down and ran her hands across the dog's fur. The dog gave her arm licks while she did so. His fur was smooth and fluffy. Marina wanted to burrow herself into it. What was its name, again? Happy? No. That was just the feeling it gave off.
Somehow, she slept better than she had in months.
The next morning at school, whispers surrounded her, about her bandaged cheek. On the corner of her desk, "betrayer" was written in a familiar handwriting.
At lunch, she sat by Shizuka.