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Buck was pacing the floor of his newly free loader home, looking at his and Bobby’s picture on the shelf, when his doorbell rang out for all to hear. Ravi had just left after the police took the squatter, Dwayne, away, so it couldn't have been him. Maddie was taking her kids trick-or-treating, so she couldn’t be there. He looked out the peephole and groaned, seeing his so-called “family” waiting by the door rather impatiently.
Buck sighs, begrudgingly opening his front door, met with the worried eyes of Hen and Chim, and Eddie looking anywhere but him.
“Why are you guys here?” Buck asks huskily. They stood frozen, eyes wide. “Why are you here?” He repeated, well, more like demanded.
Hen looks down, trying to think of something to say without making him madder.
“Ravi called us,” Chimney mumbled with a sigh.
Eddie silently nods, too afraid to say anything, not daring to look at him.
Buck groans, heavily annoyed now, deciding whether or not to slam the door in their faces.
“Of course he did!” Upon seeing his pissed off face, the group was taken aback; they had never really seen Buck this truly pissed off before. His face was red with rage.
Only Eddie’s ever seen him this angry; he could count how many times on just one hand, because Buck never really gets angry like this often.
“Why now? Why do you care all of a sudden?” He all but shouted to the three people standing before him.
Eddie flinched slightly, hating seeing Buck like this. It always physically pains him to see his best friend suffering.
“Buck ..calm down,” Hen tried to soothe him, but it only made him madder.
“Calm down? No, how about you actually shut up and listen to me!” Buck shouts, his chest heaving. “I get you’re all grieving too, but did you ever stop to ask me how I was or actually listen to me–?”
He was then rudely cut off by Eddie.
“Here you go, making it about you again. Same old Buckley,” Eddie shouts with an annoyed eye roll, finally meeting Buck’s eyes.
Hen and Chimney just stare at the two, eyes wide, both equally confused and lost.
“Well, this seems familiar,” Buck says with a grin, but there’s no real emotion in it.
“What are you talking about?” Eddie asks in a gruff voice.
“Oh, you mean you forgot about the grocery store fight we had, or when we fought after Bobby died?” He points an accusing finger at his supposed best friend. “Remember how you called me exhausting and what was said again, Eddie?” Buck thinks for a moment, tapping a finger to his chin. “Oh! That’s right, ‘The trials and tribulations of Evan Buckley, a tragedy and 97 acts.’”
Eddie pales at that.
“I apologized for that,” he mumbled, knowing it was a weak excuse, because he really didn’t.
Buck shook his head.
“No, actually, you didn’t,” Buck bites back. “Because both times you just had Christopher there, thinking it would fix everything. And the words ‘I am sorry’ never actually came out of your stupid mouth, Eddie.”
Hen whistled, and Chim just stood shocked. How long has Buck been bottling this up?
“But that's not what this is about. No, this is about how nobody listens to anymore. You all may have moved on from Bobby’s death, but I haven’t. And nobody has actually asked me how I am besides Ravi and Maddie.” Buck then looks at Eddie now, his eyes still red with anger, but slightly softer now. “I haven’t talked to you in four months, Eddie. Unless it’s at work. And we don’t even talk that much!” Buck’s eyes start misting up now. “I haven’t seen Chris in 3 of those months, and I miss him so much,” His voice cracks. “But nobody seems to care that I’m fading into the background. I told you all about the snickerdoodles for weeks, but nobody but Ravi actually cared enough to listen to–”
“Buck..I…” Hen started to say, but Buck cut her off.
“No, I am not done, because Ravi was here for everything, so where were you guys when I broke down in front of him, huh? Where were you when I needed you the most? I just found a guy living in my fucking attic, and you weren’t even here. None of you have been for months! I can’t keep doing this, I give and I give and I give with nothing in return, and it hurts so much. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.”
Eddie was in tears, hearing how badly he had hurt Buck, turning to see Hen and Chim both equally upset, all in disbelief upon hearing how they had hurt their friend, their family member. Eddie’s fucking best friend.
“But I had no idea,” Hen says with a sob.
Buck scoffs with an eye roll. “How could you have when you haven’t even been around to notice?”
He looked at his supposed family, seeing tears in all of their eyes. He should feel guilty, but he actually felt free.
Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders
“Is that why you talk to Robbie so much? Because we haven’t been there?” Chim finally says, wiping his eyes.
Buck couldn’t help but chuckle at that, looking at his brother-in-law.
“He’s actually a really good listener, and he doesn’t argue back or judge me.”
Eddie is silent, taking it all in. He needs to talk to his Abuela tomorrow; she will know how to help him. She always does. She–and Pepa–are the wisest women he knows.
After a few more minutes of silence, Buck sighs in defeat and exhaustion. “Can you all please just leave?”
Hen nods, turning around, about to make her way back to her car, flashing him a sad smile, “I am truly sorry, Buck. Really.”
He nods with a soft smile. “I know you are, Hen.”
With that, she quickly leaves as Chimney stands there for a minute longer, before saying, “ I am so sorry about my comment, and for not being there for you as your brother-in-law/friend and as your Captain. It was wrong of me, Buck.” Chimney means it with all of his heart.
Buck was taken aback. “I…Chim, it’s fine, really. I appreciate your–”
“No,” Chim cuts him off. “It’s not, but I promise I’ll be better,” Chimney says, finally finished, leaving behind a stunned Buck and a still shocked Eddie.
Buck looks at Eddie with a slight glare, the anger returning.
Buck speaks before Eddie is given a chance to, not wanting to hear some bullshit excuse from him. “I don’t want to hear it, Eddie. You dismissed me with the whole ‘talking to Bobby with a Ouija board,’ and you continue to yell at me, and I just can’t deal with it tonight. So just go.”
Eddie looks at Buck. Like really looks at him, and sees his sunken red eyes. Buck looked truly exhausted.
Seeing that there is no arguing with him, Eddie nods softly without saying a word and just walks away. But before he can get too far, he turns around once more, taking one last look at Buck, seeing his broken eyes, instead of the shiny ocean ones he’s grown to love, before leaving Buck’s house, feeling even more guilty than before.
He really needs to talk to his Abuela. And Pepa. The more the merrier because he has no clue how to fix this. This is one of the most important relationships in his life–second only to Christoper. He has to fix this. He misses his best friend like a goddamn limb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Buck was woken up by banging on his door.
Buck groaned, peeling his eyes open, looking over at the time.
8 AM on a Saturday???
Who the fuck would be banging on his door this early?
Uuuugh.
He groaned as the banging continued. He grumpily threw the covers back and got up out of his bed.
He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, making his way to the front door, as the banging continued.
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He shouted out with a yawn, as he opened the door, surprised to see a tear stained Eddie with an equally sad Christopher in tow.
He was stunned to say the least.
“Eddie?” Buck gasped, looking wide eyed at his best friend. “What happened?”
“Abuela died last night,” Eddie barely choked out through the tears.
Chris just threw his arms around Buck, hugging him tightly, taking Buck by surprise.
God, he missed this kid.
Buck was beyond shocked.
He loved Abuela. She taught him all of her recipes, sometimes in person, sometimes over FaceTime.
Bobby was like a dad to him, and Abuela was like the grandmother he never had growing up. And he’s now lost them both.
He started to cry as he opened the door further to let his Diaz boys in.
“How?” Buck desperately needed to know.
Eddie covered his mouth to stop from crying again and Buck grabbed Eddie by the wrist, pulling him into a warm embrace, holding both of his Diaz boys close.
“She died in her sleep,” Eddie sobs. “Pepa found her this morning.”
Buck hugged his boys tighter; he couldn't imagine the pain Pepa must be in, having found her own mother deceased this unexpectedly.
“Is she alright?”
Buck mentally slapped himself on the forehead. Of course she’s not okay.
Eddie sighed, finally looking up at Buck with teary eyes.
God, his eyes are so beautiful. Even when he’s hurting.
Eddie’s always beautiful.
“She will be eventually,” Eddie says back, with a soft smile.
Buck nods curtly. “Will you be okay?”
Eddie was taken back by the question, not expecting Buck to ask that.
“I…I honestly don't know.”
After a while, Buck and Eddie find Chris fast asleep in their arms just like when he was seven after Buck had saved from the tsunami.
“He looks so sweet,” Buck whispers affectionately.
“Yeah, it almost makes you forget he’s actually a hormonal angst ridden teen instead of an adorable seven year old,” Eddie jokes.
Buck couldn’t help but smile down at the sleeping boy, giving him a quick kiss on forehead as Chris squirms slightly, making Eddie smile at them.
“I missed this so much,” Buck whispers softly, not looking at Eddie, too afraid to see the brunette’s face.
“I did too,” Eddie whispers back.
Buck turns to Eddie fondly, but also in slight shock. “You did?”
Eddie scoffs quietly. “Of course I did, Buck. You’re family. I am sorry that I ever made you doubt that.”
Buck looks down. “Why did you pull away then?”
Eddie debated for a moment if he should tell Buck the truth because he just lost his Abuela, but after a moment he remembered his Abuela saying to “follow his heart” and he could hear Hen practically shouting in his ear to just “say it.”
“I realized that I’m gay.”
Buck was stunned and heartbroken by this reveal, but he plastered on a fake, cheery smile, to support his best friend on his self-discovery.
“Oh…that’s great, Eddie. I’m so happy for you.”
Eddie chuckles nervously, cheeks a pretty pink, looking up at Buck with so much affection.
“And I realized that I am in love with you.”
“What?!?” Buck whisper-shouts, keeping his voice down to not wake Christopher.
“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Eddie asks teasingly, a precious smile on his face. “I am IN LOVE WITH YOU EVAN BUCKLEY.”
“Wait, really?” Buck asks confused, brows furrowed.
Eddie couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Yes really.”
“Oh …”
“Oh? What do you mean, oh?” Eddie asked, brows dipped in confusion.
Buck realized what he said and does his best to fix it. “It’s not a bad oh. I just didn’t know.”
Eddie loves this man. “That’s kinda the point of coming out, Buck.”
Buck couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right…hey, Edmundo?” Buck teased with a sly smirk.
Eddie raised his brow slightly “Yes, Evan?” He teased back.
God, they’ve missed this.
Turns out, they just needed to talk like normal human beings to fix things.
“I love you too,” Buck confesses.
Eddie gasps quietly. “Really?”
Buck nods vigorously. “Really, really.”
Eddie smiled with glee before he couldn’t take it anymore, grabbing Buck’s face harshly, kissing Buck with all he had, as Buck whined before melting into the kiss.
It felt like a fire had ignited within them that only they could extinguish.
This is what Eddie has been missing all his life. That one big great love story he had been told all his life that he thought he would have with Shannon, but it never felt right. He tried with Ana, then with Marisol, but it wasn’t right. No matter how hard he tried. Nothing was right until Evan Buckley.
He finally knew what he was missing, he never knew what father Brian had meant about finding his joy, until he was kissing Buck. This is his joy and he didn’t plan on ever letting Buck go again.
When they finally broke apart panting for air, all they could was stare at one another completely breathless before broke by a sleepy voice shouting from beside them,
“FUCKING FINALLY!!”
Buck couldn’t contain his laughter as Eddie turned a bright crimson color.
He looked beautiful.
“CHRISTOPHER!” Eddie shouted, cheeks as red as a tomato.
Chris just went into a fit of giggles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That very night at Pepa’s house, Buck and Eddie walked inside hand-in-hand.
Upon seeing their interlocked hands, Pepa smiled happily at them, making the two men blush brightly.
“Abuela would be so proud of you,” she told Eddie softly as she and Eddie watched Buck and Chris finish up making snickerdoodles in her kitchen, Bobby’s snickerdoodles.
“I sure hope so,” Eddie whispers with a fond smile, watching his boys.
“Trust me, my mjio. She is.”
Buck looks over at the two as Christopher places Abuela’s famous tamales on the ofrenda
Pepa smiles fondly at the pair.
“Go to them,” she tells Eddie. “And never let that man go. He’s a good one, mjio. He treats you right, yes?”
Eddie smiles lovesickly. “Yeah, he does.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
He slowly walks over to his boys, watching as Christopher carefully places the freshly baked cookies down, standing next to Buck, leaning against him. Buck smiles at the teen fondly, wrapping an arm around the teenager.
Eddie walks over as the two stare at the ofrenda, looking at their hard work.
Buck smiles upon seeing Eddie walk to them. “Hey,” Buck says softly, holding out his hand for Eddie to take.
“Hey,” Eddie says, locking his hand with Buck’s.
“It looks great. You two did a great job,” Eddie praises, resting his head on Buck’s shoulder.
Chris looks up at his Dad and his Buck with a fond smile.
“We should do this every year,” Eddie says fondly to the two as Tia Pepa watches them adoringly.
Buck and Chris smiling with misty eyes,
“Yeah, I’d like that,” Chris says
“Are you sure, Eds?” Buck asks.
Eddie nods. “Why not? At least this way we won’t ever forget them, right?”
“We wouldn’t. They’ll always be in here,” Buck says, placing his hand over his heart, still teary-eyed.
“I feel them,” Chris adds, a hand over his heart.
“Yeah, bud. I can too.”
Buck traces the picture of Bobby sadly.
As Eddie adjusted the photo of his beloved Abuela, Chris added a photo of Shannon.
The three look at the ofrenda one last time, knowing this won’t be the last time they celebrate their departed family.
“We miss you all,” Eddie whispers. “And we all love you so very much.”
Pepa walks over to Eddie, taking his open hand with one of her own, smiling up at him.
Eddie smiles back.
Yeah, they’re doing this every year.