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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

They didn’t even make it out of the city. A car was following them; Nathaniel had noticed it twenty minutes into the drive. He knew his mother had noticed too because she always noticed things before him. That, and she was tapping her thumb on the steering wheel, a tell that something was wrong. Five minutes after that, the car behind them turned their flashing lights on. 

Mary had cursed and when Nathaniel looked out the front windshield, his stomach dropped. He gripped the seat with his free hand as he saw two police cars blocking the street ahead. They were on a two-lane road and there would be no way for their car to get around them. They were blocked in. Trapped. Mary slowed to a stop and Nathaniel felt like he was dying. He went to press his hand to his heart, but Kevin didn’t let go so he ended up clutching Kevin’s hand to his chest.

Kevin didn’t seem as worried as he should be, but he didn’t know how far the Butcher’s influence reached. A man in uniform tapped on Mary’s window and she let out a slow breath before rolling it down. 

“Mary Hatford.” It wasn’t a question, but his mother nodded silently. 

The back door opened then, on Kevin's side, and another officer was there, pulling Kevin from the car. Kevin didn’t release Nathaniel’s hand and was unintentionally dragging Nathaniel after him. It hurt to hold on, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Mary twisted back and tried to grab Nathaniel’s other hand, but then the officer at her door was pulling her out of the vehicle too. 

With the car between them, Nathaniel couldn’t see his mother, but he called out for her anyway. She was shouting too, his name maybe, but the officer who had pulled Kevin out the car had turned his focus on Nathaniel so he couldn’t be sure. He grabbed Nathaniel by the neck and started shoving him towards one of the police cars. 

Kevin was now the one being dragged to follow and Nathaniel had a feeling that if he let go, he was going to die. When they reached the car, the officer grabbed Nathaniel’s arm with one hand and Kevin’s with the other. 

“Let go, or they’re both broken.” He snarled. Nathaniel felt Kevin’s grip loosen but he wasn’t quite ready to separate from his lifeline just yet. 

“I’ll break his first,” the officer added nodding toward Kevin and that was enough to seal Nathaniel’s fate. He released Kevin and in the next moment, he was locked inside the police car and Kevin was locked out. As the car pulled off, he tried to look for his mom. He didn’t see the officer who had her earlier, but they, along with one of the other police cars, were now gone. 

He reached into his pocket and clutched his watch; he should have given it to Kevin for safe keeping. Would Kevin even have been able to keep it safe? He wanted to go back for him but a voice from the front of the car had him freezing up. 

“Sit still like a good boy Nathaniel and I won’t hurt you before your father does.” Lola laughed as she caught the look on his face in the rearview mirror and Nathaniel was left to worry about his own doomed fate. 

Tick. 

Tick. 

Boom.

Chapter Text

No one came for Kevin. He wondered if they had forgotten about him, or if they just knew he would be useless on his own. He still hadn’t spoken. There was no one to speak to, but he also wasn’t sure if Nathaniel’s order still applied even though everyone was gone. When Mary left him in the car, she had told him to be quiet too. She told him not to leave and that she would be back soon with Nathaniel. 

Kevin was excited to hang out with Nathaniel. Sure, he was anxious about being stranded in a car on a road he didn’t recognize but it probably meant that Mary was going to take them to the store before their sleepover. They could get snacks and drinks and maybe Mary would let them look at the comic books too. 

He spent a lot of time thinking about what store they might go to, but after an hour he couldn’t distract himself from the unease in his stomach. Kevin was never alone. He always had Riko, Nathaniel, or even the Master with him. He tried not to cry. He really did. But he couldn't stop his nose from running and the tears from tracking down his cheeks. He couldn't stop the loneliness from creeping in. If Riko was here, he would be relentless in his teasing. 

He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged himself until finally the door opened to reveal Nathaniel. He wasn’t sure why Nathaniel looked so surprised to see him when he was the one who invited Kevin. Kevin jerked, remembering what he had been doing and scrubbed the tears off his face as if Nathaniel wouldn’t have noticed, but he was always the more observant of the two. Nathaniel was climbing in next to him and silencing him before he could find some excuse to give.

Now, on the side of the road, the same feeling of loneliness was creeping back into Kevin. Kevin remembered the radio in the car had read eleven o’clock when they first started driving. It had been at least an hour since the police took Nathaniel and Mary away. He had tried to follow their car, but he wasn’t fast enough to keep up. He was never fast enough to keep up with Nathaniel.

Kevin went back to where they were first pulled over and sat on the curb after that. He knew that when you were lost you were supposed to stay put. It would make it easier for someone to find you. What Kevin didn’t realize was that you could only be found if someone was looking for you.

The police cars didn’t come back for him. The Master didn’t show up. Nathaniel and Mary were long gone. Frustrated, Kevin started to run. He might not be as fast as Nathaniel, but he was still an athlete. It only took him about thirty minutes to find a convenience store. It was closed, naturally, as the clock inside read just past two in the morning. 

There was a pay phone, but Kevin didn’t have any change, and he also didn’t have numbers memorized. He supposed if he found some coins lying around, he could call the police and yell at them for leaving him there. But would they come back for him if he called?

He heard a rustling noise and whipped around to check his surroundings. A few feet away he saw a man looking through a trash can. Kevin took an instinctive step back, and it caught the man’s attention. Kevin could tell he was homeless, mainly because he was digging through trash but also because of his outfit. 

For a second, they just stared at each other, then the man asked, “Y'okay, kid?”

Kevin wasn’t sure if he should answer the stranger, but he also didn’t know how to answer. Was he okay? What did okay even mean? 

“I’m lost.” Was what came out of Kevin’s mouth.

“The store opens in four hours. You can buy a map then.” Kevin thought his reply odd. Weren’t there easier means of getting home than buying a map? He didn’t have the money to buy a map anyway. 

“Are you lost too?” Kevin asked, mostly because he wasn’t sure how to reply. 

He knew the man wasn’t lost, that he lived in the pile of blankets peaking around from the corner, but the man just said, “I’ve been lost for a while now.”

“I’m sorry.” Kevin had nothing to apologize for, he didn’t do anything wrong after all, but he still felt the need to say it. The man nodded with a grim smile and waved him over.

Somehow, they both ended up sitting up against the building talking the hours away. The man told Kevin stories of old wars and battle plans that the best strategists used. Kevin was thoroughly entertained by the man’s retellings and though he thought they sounded unrealistic, he didn’t know enough history to call the man out on it. 

After a particularly foolish story Kevin finally challenged him. That’s when he revealed he wasn’t talking about history, but a game. Kevin had heard of chess before, but he had never heard it described in the ways this man had described it. Kevin thought it was like checkers, but he made it sound like a video game or cool comic. The man sent Kevin to collect grass, leaves, sticks, and pebbles while he drew a checkered board on the concrete with a rock. They didn’t have enough pieces to account for everything, but the man said it would do.

He explained the rules and demonstrated some of the battle strategies he had explained. As he moved the pieces Kevin could picture the battle taking place. Knights killing pawns and rooks protecting the king. Kevin was ready to try and play a game when the convenience store owner showed up to open the doors. He wasn’t sure why he was disappointed; he should be giddy at the idea of going home, but he was looking forward to playing a match with the man. 

“Go on,” the man said, “I’m sure your mother and father are worried sick.”

“I don’t have a father.” Kevin blurted, then cringed because he wasn’t really sure why he said it. 

“You’re well enough then.” The man replied matter-of-factly. “It’s the queen who has the most power on the board, not the king. Run along to your mother.”

Kevin frowned, he knew the man was right, but that didn’t make him want a father any less. He also didn't bother to tell the man his mother was dead, that she had died a while ago. He went inside and asked the owner to call the Master. As a coach, his office phone number would be on the directory, and he was almost always in his office. 

Twenty minutes later a car arrived to collect him. 

“I’ll come back to play you one day,” Kevin promised the homeless man as he made his way to the car. The man just shrugged, and Kevin got in the car. He didn’t recognize the driver, he was hoping it would be Mary and Nathaniel, but that was silly. The driver didn’t speak to him and so Kevin spent the car ride thinking about last night. He was slightly hurt that Nathaniel left without him and wondered if he was okay.

Chapter Text

Kevin didn’t see Nathaniel for six months after that. He had dutifully returned to Castle Evermore and expected to find everyone fretting about his absence but instead realized no one had noticed at all. No one paid him any mind as he made his way through the nest. 

No one had mentioned what went down that night, or at least they didn’t mention it to Kevin. Nathaniel hadn’t been to practices or games and Kevin wondered if he quit the team. He really hoped not. Kevin asked the Master about when Nathaniel would return but he just said he was on vacation with his family. He supposed that was why they had bags in the car with them that night. Maybe Kevin was just there to say goodbye. Kevin was jealous, but he was also happy for him. He had seemed pretty upset in the car and he probably needed a nice break. He only wished he had a way to talk to him while he was gone. 

He missed him the most at exy practice because Nathaniel was always cracking jokes and making Kevin laugh after Riko would yell at him. Riko didn’t like when the other kids tried to talk to them, but Nathaniel never let that stop him. Now, Kevin was stuck with only Riko for company and he vowed to never take Nathaniel for granted again once he came back. Riko quickly tired of Kevin’s inquiry of Nathaniel’s return and after one too many questions he checked Kevin hard during a play, despite them being on the same team. Kevin didn’t mention it again.

When Nathaniel finally did return to the nest, he was there to stay. Riko said Nathaniel would be moving into the nest, but he wasn’t going to be a Raven yet. He had to earn that spot. Kevin knew he would because Nathaniel was the second best backliner on their team and he was two years younger than them. Once he grew a little more and had another season under his belt, he would definitely take first.

Technically the Master hadn't declared Riko and Kevin Ravens yet either, but it went without saying. Or at least they pretended it did. They would be Ravens; it was only a matter of how soon they could prove themselves to the Master. Kevin was keen on waiting until they were older because he knew how strict the Master was, but Riko was set on making it as soon as possible. He wasn't really sure where Nathaniel fit into the plans yet, but he hoped he was there to stay.

Kevin went to help him unpack when he arrived, but Nathaniel only had one bag. He tried to tease him about it, but Nathaniel didn’t laugh or smile. Kevin was elated that he was moving in but there was a hollow look in Nathaniel’s eyes as he sat on his new bed. Nathaniel didn’t seem like he missed Kevin the way Kevin had missed him, and he was starting to get aggravated.

“This will be great, Nathaniel. We can play exy all the time and I’ll even let you borrow my comics now too. Why aren’t you excited?”

Nathaniel had kicked him out of his room then. Only at dinner with the Master the following week did he find out that Mary Hatford had been in a car accident. Nathaniel’s mom was dead. 

Chapter Text

Kevin didn’t remember meeting Riko, he had just always been there. They've always been in each other's lives, and when Kevin's mother passed, they became inseparable. On and off the court. Kevin loved playing exy with Riko, he was good. Really good. They were the sons of exy after all, and they were going to be the greatest exy players to ever exist. 

Riko had told him that one day, and Kevin didn’t hesitate to believe it. It wasn’t a dream; it was a goal. They would get there eventually; it was only a matter of when. The other boys in their age group had a less than satisfactory performance. 

They both had no problem slipping past the backliners, but Riko always made a show out of it. Kevin thought the displays unnecessary, but he was used to Riko’s tough playing style. The first time he broke a kid's elbow, Kevin had been furious. 

“No one is going to want to be our teammates if you keep this up!” Kevin yelled. 

“We don’t need out of shape, flatfooted, deadweights on our team, Kevin. Stop being so dramatic. If he were better at exy then he would have stopped me.”

“Coach blew the whistle! The game was on pause!”

“Whoops, guess I didn’t hear.”

“You were out of line.”

Riko rushed over and shoved Kevin so hard he fell on his butt. “I create the lines, Kevin. You’d better start remembering that.”

Kevin stood up, brushing off his pants and charged at Riko. He pushed Riko’s shoulders, then took a hit to his nose. Pain shot through his head and he stumbled back. Riko moved with him and tackled him to the ground. He pinned Kevin’s arms to his side and Kevin felt blood sliding down his cheeks. 

“If you broke my nose, I’ll fucking kill you.” Kevin seethed. 

“I haven’t broken anything,” Riko said, then with a smug smile added, “yet.”

“Are you gonna break my elbow now, too?” Kevin hissed, struggling against Riko’s grip. 

“Stop being such a crybaby.” Riko sighed, getting off of Kevin, “I did it for us.”

“How does that help us!” Kevin asked, standing and moving as far away from Riko as he could. He grabbed a towel and held it up to his nose.

“We’re never going to get anywhere playing with that catastrophe of a team.” Riko shrugged. “We needed to grab the Master's attention, so I did.”

“What are you talking about, the Master is the one who put us on that team.”

“Yeah, and I showed him what a stupid fucking mistake that was.” Riko smirked. “If he doesn’t give us a challenge, we’ll give him one.” 

“He’s not going to move us up just because of this.” But Kevin wasn’t so sure that was true. The Master worked in weird ways, maybe he was testing them by putting them on the team? Waiting for them to fight for it?

“He will if he doesn’t want to keep paying off the parents of talentless bums.” 

“You can’t keep hurting our team.” Kevin argued.

“They’re not our team Kevin. They will never possess enough skill to call us their teammates.”

He wanted to say that Nathaniel was good enough to be their teammate, but he didn’t feel like getting into another fight, so instead he said, “I don't want to hurt anyone.” 

“I’m not asking you to hurt anyone. I’m asking you to trust me. I told you we were going to the top. This is how we do it. I’m leading the way; you just have to stick by me and smile for the cameras.”

Kevin didn’t have any arguments left in him, but he couldn’t help but wonder if there was another path. A better path.

Chapter Text

June, 1999

Nathaniel lived in the nest, but living was a bit of an overstatement. The older kids didn’t talk to him, and he knew to stay out of the Master’s way. Riko and Kevin had a room in the nest too, but Nathaniel didn’t feel like being around Riko. He was annoying and Nathaniel hated the way he talked to Kevin sometimes. 

Despite what Kevin had told him when he moved in, he had kept his distance. He wasn’t sure if Kevin was mad at him for how he acted that night or if someone else told him to stay away. Either way he couldn’t find the energy to care.

Nathaniel slept a lot and when he was awake, he felt numb. He didn’t have an appetite for food or fun. It didn’t help that the Ravens had a different schedule, and he never knew what time it was or when he should be doing things. No one tried to help him, and he spent most of his time in his room alone. 

Riko and Kevin would collect him for exy practice when it was time, but the days felt irregular, so he never knew when to expect it. Sometimes he would end up being late and have to run laps until he puked.

Other than that, exy practice was the only thing he looked forward to now, so he gave it his all. His muscles ached from the exercise, and the challenge of playing in Kevin and Riko’s age group was enough to wear him out. 

He liked when he had to defend against Riko because it let him get his anger out. He didn’t hold back, and every block, steal, and shove felt like a small victory. Riko hated to be embarrassed, and Nathaniel picked fights on numerous occasions despite not being strong enough to fight back. 

Kevin always tried to stop it, but he wished he wouldn’t. The pain from bruises and busted lips served well to distract Nathaniel from what was going on in his mind, so he didn’t see a reason to stop. Even when Riko threatened him. Even when Kevin begged him. The Master had only told Nathaniel that if he injured Riko, he was going to break his legs. But Nathaniel didn’t need to physically hurt Riko to feel like a winner.

“You feeling okay, Riko?” Nathaniel said through his mask on the court. He and Riko were shoving against each other, despite the ball being nowhere near them on the other side of the court. Riko didn’t say anything but stepped on Nathaniel’s toes. 

“I just noticed you're moving slower than normal. I mean you’ve never been faster than me, but Cameron would have been able to make the play you just botched.”

Riko moved to stomp on his foot again, but Nathaniel saw it coming and took a step back. Riko must have expected that because he stuck his racquet between Nathaniel’s legs at an angle that tripped him up. He would have been able to catch himself if not for Riko swinging the racquet in an upward arc to hit Nathaniel between the legs. 

Nathaniel rolled onto his hands and knees to try and regain his breath. If this was a real game, a referee would have carded Riko for that move, but this wasn’t a game, and no one was paying attention to them.  

“Let’s see who’s faster now,” Riko taunted, stepping back to make himself open for the ball. 

Nathaniel barely had his breath back, but he felt so strongly that he needed to use what little he had to get the last word. “Freako.”

Riko turned and headed back towards Nathaniel at a fast pace–well, fast for Riko, Nathaniel thought–and swung his foot into Nathaniel’s side. Nathaniel’s body shuddered as he crumpled to the side. When Riko realized Nathaniel was laughing, he kicked him again. And again. 

Nathaniel wasn’t sure when the others realized something was happening, but Cameron’s voice trailed in and eventually Riko’s assault stopped. Nathaniel didn’t know why he couldn’t stop laughing. It wasn’t funny anymore, maybe it was never funny to begin with, but he couldn’t stop the convulsions. He thought he felt something wet on his cheek, but it wasn’t important when he could still barely breathe.

Kevin was kneeled at his side now and the worried look on his face only made Nathaniel laugh harder. He was saying funny words like hyperventilate and hysteria. Nathaniel made a mental note to tease him for it later. Riko rolled his eyes and headed for the bench as Kevin helped Nathaniel to a sitting position. 

He clutched his stomach, the pain starting to set in and Kevin swiped his hands across his cheeks. Nathaniel knew he wasn’t crying because he didn’t cry anymore. He hadn’t cried since his father beat him unconscious for it when his mom died.

He sucked in lungfuls of air, ignoring the ache in his ribs and chest. Kevin helped him to the bench where their nurse started checking him out. He didn’t remember stopping, but he wasn’t laughing anymore. The nurse was snapping in front of his face, but Nathaniel ignored him. 

He didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to go home. But he didn’t have a home, she was dead now. She left him, and Nathaniel didn’t know how to follow. He felt like he was wandering aimlessly in life, he felt lost. He somehow ended up back in his room that night, ready to repeat the cycle the next day. It was a loop that was never going to end.

Chapter Text

Kevin and Riko practiced with the kids their age, but they also finally started doing private training with the Master. Nathaniel wasn’t allowed to attend the private sessions, the Master didn’t think he earned it yet. Riko agreed, but Kevin thought Nathaniel was at a great spot for his age. 

Kevin had a love hate relationship with these practices. He loved playing exy, and he couldn’t argue with the fact that the Master’s schedule had them improving at a rapid rate. He hated being alone with Riko and the Master, though. Riko would whisper cruel things in his ear and then the Master would smack him with his racquet when he tried to respond. 

Kevin wished Nathaniel was there because he never got hit as much when Nathaniel was around, then immediately regretted the insensitive thought. He was only saved because they would hit Nathaniel instead, often harder and more often than what Kevin had ever received.

He supposed that was one concession, that when Riko and the Master were here with him, it meant they weren’t with Nathaniel. Still, he knew that one day Nathaniel would join them in these private lessons, and that would be a whole other battle. The Master must have noticed Kevin’s thoughts were wandering elsewhere because Riko’s racquet hit him in the legs hard enough for him to buckle over. 

“Get up,” the Master ordered and Kevin used his racquet to push himself to his feet. “Are you going to just take that? Hit Riko.”

Kevin had never been so confused in his life. He turned to look at Riko and Riko looked just as surprised. “But you told me to–”

“Silence!” The Master cut him off, then gave Kevin a nod. 

Kevin didn’t even lift his racquet. He didn’t want to hit Riko. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, and they had their fair share of physical fights, but he had never outright hit him like this. He normally didn’t even have time to think about it, it was always a defense in the moment. This was premeditated, this was wrong.

The Master noticed his hesitation and backhanded him so hard he saw stars. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Kevin still didn’t move, now because he was dazed from the hit to his head. Riko shifted his weight between his feet but didn’t say anything. The Master hit Kevin again and as he stumbled back, he yanked his racquet from his hands. He was still finding his balance when the Master swung Kevin’s racquet. But it wasn’t Kevin’s stomach he hit, it was Riko’s.

Riko collapsed to his hands and knees and upheaved the contents of his stomach onto the court. Kevin stared wide eyed as the Master swung again, hitting Riko’s back, then he handed the racquet back to Kevin. Kevin was so scared the Master was going to order him to hit Riko again that his hands shook. 

“Next time, you will listen,” he said coldly. “Clean him up.”

The Master walked away and Kevin looked back to Riko. He was curled in a ball, half of his body lay in his own vomit. Their racquets were heavies, even a half assed swing to the legs would leave bruises. The Master was a grown man and Kevin watched his swing, he wasn’t holding back at all. 

He rushed to Riko’s side and put his hand on his back, remembering too late where the second hit landed. Riko jerked from the touch and snarled at Kevin, “Fuck! As if you haven’t done enough!”

“I said no,” Kevin whispered. “I didn’t do it.”

“It was your fault and we both know it.” Riko sat up, slowly then shoved Kevin away from him. 

“I didn’t mean to.” Kevin pleaded, but Riko ignored him and saw himself off the court to the showers. Kevin stayed behind and cleaned up his puke, then when he was sure Riko was gone, he made his own way to the showers.

Chapter Text

Kevin knew the routine he and Riko had each morning. Kevin didn’t squirm whenever Riko redrew the number two on his cheek, but Riko would still keep a harsh grip on his hair or chin to make him hold still. Riko dug the marker into his cheek so hard Kevin always wondered if he broke skin, but he never did. 

He passed the marker to Kevin and Kevin retraced the one on Riko’s cheek. He knew better than to touch his hair or chin. And he knew better than to apply more pressure than necessary, even if he was feeling vengeful. Riko’s smug smile said he knew as much.

“Your mom and the Master used to fuck, you know.”

Kevin flinched. “No, they didn’t.”

“Don’t get mad at me because your mom was a whore.”

“Don’t call her that.” Kevin snapped and instinctively shoved Riko. Riko and Kevin were the same age and height, but whenever they got into fights, Riko always came out on top. Kevin knew it was because Riko wasn’t scared of crossing lines. He took pleasure in pain and never held back. Kevin didn’t want to fight Riko. He hated when things got physical and every time something started his main focus was making it stop. Sometimes the quickest way to the end was to just take it. 

“Or what?” Riko challenged, straightening his shirt.

Kevin tried to think of something he could say or do but came up short. He wasn’t like Nathaniel with his confident words and witty comebacks. He didn’t know how to stand up to Riko, and both Riko and Nathaniel knew it.

“Anyways,” Riko continued, “I just thought you should know. Because everyone else already knew and I’m tired of you being the dumbest person in the nest.”

Kevin wanted to argue and say he wasn’t dumb. The nest was full of college students. Wasn’t it obvious that they would know more than him? But he knew better to imply he was smarter than Riko, even if he felt it deeply.

“At least the Master is better than your actual dad.”

“Shut up.”

“Or maybe the Master is your father, and that’s why you came to live with us.”

“I came because we’re family.”

“Eh. Maybe to the rest of the world. It’s like when billionaires say their help is a part of their family.”

“Aren’t they?”

“God, you are such an idiot sometimes Kevin. You’re so lucky you're half decent at exy. I don’t know how someone who has had so much handed to them can offer so little to the world.”

Kevin chewed on his lip. He knew Riko was just being a jerk, he had worth. His mother had always told him so when she was alive. He shouldn’t let Riko’s words get to him. And yet…

They made their way to the court for practice and Nathaniel joined them as they stretched. Nathaniel didn’t know it yet, but Riko was finally starting to consider him as a teammate. Riko didn’t want Kevin to tell him because he was still feeling it out, but Kevin had high hopes. Riko even had coach put him on their team for scrimmage to see if they could work. One of these days Nathaniel would have a number on his cheek too. 

It helped that Nathaniel didn’t talk back as much anymore. On the court he was a menace, but they all were. It was his attitude off the court that had Riko hesitating. He hated the disrespect.

“Nathaniel,” Riko threw a heavy arm over his shoulder. “I’m glad you're here, I told Kevin about his mom and the Master. Tell him everyone knew his mother was a whore except him.”

Nathaniel’s eyes snapped to Riko’s, and he struggled in his grip. “That’s not true. She wasn’t a whore, don’t listen to him Kevin.”

Riko tightened his grip, “Oh, isn’t it? Then why did she get knocked up by some loser who left her?”

Nathaniel’s eyes hardened, “I don’t know, why did your mom?”

Kevin’s mouth opened, more in surprise than in preparation to say something. For a couple seconds it was silent and he thanked every star that no one else was around to hear that remark. Riko stared down at Nathaniel with a curl in his lip and Nathaniel stared up at him defiantly. Kevin looked between the two of them and thought he might puke. Out of all of the things Nathaniel could have said, Kevin thought that was the worst. Riko would have taken offense to the comment on his mother but calling his father a loser… Nathaniel had a death wish.

“Kevin, tell coach to put Nathaniel back on the other team.” Riko said, without looking away from Nathaniel.

Kevin knew that meant Nathaniel would be guarding Riko today. And he was going to hurt Nathaniel. Badly. So much for almost getting a number. Kevin didn’t move to leave but instead tried to catch Nathaniel's eye. He wanted to tell him to apologize, he wanted to tell Riko to back off. Nathaniel didn't look away from Riko and Kevin knew it would be useless. He sighed in resignation and went to find coach.

Did it make him a coward? He didn't like his own answer, but he didn't see what else he could do. 

Chapter Text

July, 1999

Kevin had been trying to convince Riko to play a game of chess with him since the night with that homeless guy. Riko refused, insulting the game, and Kevin, in as many ways he could think of. Kevin knew exy was the most important game, and should have all of their focus, but it was always in the back of his mind. 

On a random day, for a reason Kevin still didn't know, Riko finally agreed. Someone on staff was sent to order a game board and by the next week it arrived. Kevin was so excited he didn’t even care about Riko’s resistance to learning the rules, but then Riko lost the first game and threw the board. A couple of the pieces hit Kevin in the face, but he was more upset about the crack in the board.

After collecting pieces from across the room, Kevin dutifully told Riko that he couldn’t have lost because that was just a practice round where they were learning the rules. Riko said he would consider trying again but only if he could play the king and Kevin agreed despite that not being how the game works.

Kevin was just glad he finally had the board and pieces, despite the new cracks and chips. He could probably rope Nathaniel into playing a game if he really wanted to, but he ended up just playing by himself more often than not. It was silly to feel lonely with Riko by his side all the time, but Kevin was.

He knew it was because of Nathaniel. They were living in the same place, but he had never felt so far away. They trained together and sometimes ate together, but conversation was minimal and Nathaniel was always quick to return to his room. Kevin spent most of his time on the exy court to give himself something to do when Riko was away with the Master. If the court was being used by the older Ravens, he would make his way outside and practice against the side of the building.

That’s what he was doing when Nathaniel walked up to him with slumped shoulders. He knew Nathaniel was still grieving his mother, even if he never talked about it. Kevin thought to ask once but chickened out at the last second. It made him think of his own mother and he hated remembering that pain. 

“Hey,” Kevin said, lamely. 

“Hey.” Nathaniel replied. 

Nathaniel was dressed in exy gear, so he let him work into the drills with him. They passed the ball back and forth in silence and nodded at particularly good passes. Kevin tried not to look at Nathaniel’s left hand, which was covered in bandages, and failed. Riko had broken two of his fingers in the scrimmage the other day and he felt responsible. When Kevin realized Nathaniel caught him staring, he couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

“I’m so sorry Nathaniel. I’m sorry about your mom and that you have to live in the nest with us and the other Ravens. I’m sorry we got separated that night and I’m sorry I couldn’t follow you. I’m sorry about your hand and for not doing more to protect you. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I’m sorry, I’m just sorry.” 

Kevin tugged his hands through his hair as he waited for Nathaniel to say or do something. Kevin would take whatever harsh words or hits Nathaniel wanted to throw his way. He could endure it.

Nathaniel just shrugged one shoulder and passed him the ball again. They continued the drills until Nathaniel was having trouble keeping hold of his racquet, then called it a night. 

“You want to hang out tonight?” Kevin asked. “I got a new comic to show you.”

“What about Riko?”

“What about him?”

Nathaniel smirked at that and said, “You’re not worried he’ll find out?”

“Fuck ‘em.” Kevin said, but he instinctively checked his surroundings to make sure no one overheard.

Nathaniel snickered at him and accepted the invitation. 

They ended up in Nathaniel’s room later that night while Riko was sleeping in his and Kevin’s. If Riko woke up he would be pissed, but Kevin tried not to think about that as they flipped through comics and put on an exy match. He stopped at the kitchen and got some food because he was sure Nathaniel hadn’t eaten anything in who knows how long. 

He hardly saw him at mealtimes the past couple days and he knew no one else would have brought him food. Nathaniel didn’t say anything about the food, but once Kevin started snacking he ate with him. They had to get comfy on Nathaniel’s bed because there wasn’t a second one, but neither of them really minded. 

Kevin yelled at the screen a couple times when a Raider fouled a Trojan, but Nathaniel was still being quiet. Kevin eventually stopped shouting when he realized Nathaniel was drifting off to sleep. He didn’t feel like leaving, so he waited until the game ended to slide out of the bed and clean up their mess.

His steps were lighter as he made his way back to his room. Now that things were back to normal between him and Nathaniel, they could work on getting him a number. Or getting him invited to private lessons with the Master. Either way things were looking up for him.

Chapter Text

August, 1999

“Psst.”

Kevin shifted in his bed. 

“Psst- aw fuck it.” 

Kevin jerked up when the blankets he was tangled up in were ripped from the bed, pulling him with it. “Arghfh-”

“Shhhhhh.” Riko hissed and Kevin rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 

“What the hell?” Kevin whispered-hissed.

“Kev, get up.”

Kevin did, and as his eyes adjusted he saw the clock said midnight. “What’s going on Riko? Did something happen?:”

“No, but something’s about to. We’re going to a party.”

Kevin realized then that Riko was dressed to go somewhere. “What? A party?”

“Yeah,” Riko scoffed. “Y’know, fun people and stuff.”

Kevin knew his vague description was because Riko had never been to a party either and so neither of them really knew what it entailed. “Where?”

“It’s in the boiler room. Hurry up and get dressed.”

“I want to go back to sleep,” Kevin murmured sleepily. “Is that an option?”

“Fuck no,” Riko tossed a bundle of clothes at his face. “Get moving.”

Two minutes later Kevin was dressed in the outfit Riko picked out and brushing his hair in the bathroom. When he walked back out Riko was drinking alcohol. “Where did you get that?”

“Don’t worry about it, come on we gotta get moving.”

Kevin didn’t understand the rush, but he was half asleep so he went along with Riko. They were quiet in the halls, but it was pointless because they didn’t run into anyone anyways. They had to go down weird stairs to get to an even weirder hallway–areas of the nest Kevin hadn’t seen before–but then they arrived. 

“Okay, Kevin.” Riko stopped before going in. “I need you to be cool. Like actually cool.”

“Okay?” Kevin said, feeling confused. He could smell the alcohol on Riko’s breath.

“No, not ‘okay?’ This is important Kevin. We have to be cool.”

“I’ll follow your lead.” Kevin promised because this seemed really important to Riko. He also just wanted Riko to stop saying the word cool so much. 

“Good. Good.” He patted Kevin’s shoulders, “Great. Okay, yeah.”

Kevin wondered if he was nervous, but then he turned around and opened the door. The door must have been sound proof because music was playing inside the room that Kevin hadn’t heard a second ago. The first thing he noticed was all the people. There were a lot. It had to have been more than just the team because he didn’t recognize some faces. 

It was also kind of loud. Not as loud as an exy game, but the room was full of people talking and music playing so he would have to stay close to Riko to make sure he heard him. He followed Riko through the crowd and kept his head down because he felt like everyone was looking at him funny and he didn’t want them to see him blush.

Riko pulled Kevin over to a group of second year Ravens. Kevin was shocked that they not only acknowledged them but greeted them with smiles and shouts. They were totally drunk, Kevin realized and had a strange urge to tell on them, but that wouldn’t be cool. So, he did what he said and followed Riko’s lead, clapping hands with some of the guys and not saying anything weird.

They talked about exy a little bit, but not as much as Kevin would have liked. He didn’t understand some of the other things they were talking about and silently nodded along. Riko had given him a cup, and he knew it was straight alcohol, so he hadn’t touched it. He and Riko had snuck drinks before at the posh parties the Master would take them to, but Kevin had never had something this strong. He had smelled the Master’s liquor before, and he knew if he tried it, he would throw up or choke in front of everyone. 

Riko would kill him if he didn’t die of embarrassment first, so he pretended to sip. Riko went to get another drink and Kevin went with him because they were partners. 

“Riko,” He tapped his shoulder and Riko stopped. “You can have mine, I don’t want it.”

“What?” Riko took the cup he held out. “What the hell Kevin, why didn’t you drink any?”

Kevin shrugged and Riko laughed. “Jesus, I can’t believe you could talk to those bums while sober. I’m fucking dying.”

“You don’t like them?” Kevin asked, confused because he was talking to them all quite a bit and seemed happy enough. 

“Fuck no, Kev. Those are some of the most uninteresting, and plain looking people I’ve ever talked to. They’re not even starters.”

“Then why have we been talking to them the whole time?”

“Because we need to climb the social ladder and they’re stupid enough to be at the bottom rung.” 

Kevin was going to say something else, but something–or someone–had caught Riko’s attention. Two girls were walking by and Riko reached out to the first and gently tugged her to a stop. He leaned in and whispered something in her ear that had her smiling. 

His hand moved to her hip as he said something else and she laughed. Kevin realized he was staring and turned to the other girl just as Riko pulled back. 

“This is Kevin,” Riko introduced him, probably because he realized he hadn’t said anything at all. Both girls smiled and introduced themselves as Nina and Sam. Riko carried the conversation and Kevin followed his lead, pretty smoothly in his opinion. 

Kevin didn’t recognize either of them and he knew from looking at them that they didn’t play exy. Riko and Kevin still had a lot of growing to do, but they were already taller than the girls. 

“So how old are you both anyway?” Nina asked, “This is an Edgar Allan party, but you both look so young.”

“We’re actually–”

“Bout to be freshmen.” Riko cut him off and Kevin tried to look at Riko, but Riko slung his arm around Kevin’s shoulder, and he knew not to make any sudden movements. 

“No way! I totally don’t believe you.” She laughed, then turned and shouted, “Thea! He said they’re freshmen, is he lying?”

Thea looked at Riko and Kevin with a smirk, “Nah, they’re just babyfaces. Japanese genetics and all that.” She gave them a wink before turning away again and Kevin tried to pull out of Riko's arm.

“Excuse us for a moment,” Riko steered Kevin off to a side bar and the second they were out of earshot Kevin freaked out.

“Riko, why did you tell them we were freshmen? We’re thirteen!” He hissed. “If they found out we lied then–”

“Then nothing.” Riko cut him off. “Listen, we already started our classes which means we are going to be freshmen–”

“Next year!” Kevin corrected. “And that’s not even for college!”

“And that’s on them for not asking more thorough questions.”  Riko smiled devilishly. “Now listen, they totally dig us, this is our chance to score. Don’t ruin this for me, for us.”

Kevin’s mouth bobbed open and closed. He suddenly felt very out of his depth. He wished he was back in his room, or even Nathaniel's room, where no one could bother him. “I–Riko, I–I don’t–She’s–I don’t want to hook up with her, I don't even know her! She–I mean she–You can’t–”

“You don’t have to!” Riko put his hands on Kevin’s shoulders to get him to focus. “Look, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. The other one's not that cute anyway.”

“You really mean that?”

“I mean if you wanna die a virgin, who am I to stop you?” Riko laughed as Kevin shoved his shoulder. “But you better find something else to do because I’m taking my shot.”

“But we’re supposed to stay together.”

“You want to watch?” Riko raised an eyebrow.

“What! No!” Kevin stammered. “Of course not! But what am I supposed to do? What if you need help or something?”

“Thanks a ton Kev but I think I can figure it out on my own.” Riko turned back to the party. “Can you just be cool? Not embarrass us for the night?”

“As long as I don’t have to kiss her then yeah.”

“Virgin.”

Kevin blushed but Riko wouldn’t have seen cause he was already leading them back to the girls. Within two minutes Riko had his tongue down Nina’s throat. Kevin and Sam kept up a conversation, but both of them put more effort into pretending not to notice. 

Sam had told Kevin that they were going into sophomore year and told Kevin all about her astropsychics classes. He was bored as shit, but talking about school sounded much better than touching her. After a few long and excruciating minutes of watching Nina feel Riko up, they excused themselves. Riko gave Kevin a thumbs up behind her back with a huge grin. 

Kevin felt uneasy about the whole thing but he promised Riko he would be cool. He turned back to Sam but she was already standing to leave. 

“Look, we both know we were just there so they could–” she gestured to where they went off too. “Nice to meet you but buh-bye.”

Kevin laughed a little at that, but then he was standing alone and he didn’t know what to do. He went to the drinks table they never made it to earlier to look for some water. A tall guy was manning the table and when Kevin approached he offered him a cup. “You want some punch?”. 

“Yeah, sure!” Kevin’s face lit up, he loved punch. He used to drink it in the summers with his mom when they were on vacation. He took a few sips and it didn’t taste like his mom’s punch but it was good enough so he drank some more. He didn’t know who the guy at the table was so he started talking to him. If he was the help then he couldn’t tell Kevin to fuck off right? 

He didn’t, he was actually really talkative and friendly. The Master would hate him as a server, but Kevin thought it was the perfect set up. He could stay here and chat with Greg–that was the guy's name–until Riko was finished with Nina. When he finished his cup, Greg refilled it. He was drinking some too, which Kevin thought odd because normally that wasn’t allowed but maybe the rules were different at a party like this. 

Greg refilled both of their cups the next go-around. Kevin was starting to get a head ache, though it wasn’t really an ache it was more of a fuzzy feeling. He thought maybe he was dehydrated and tried to drink some more, but it didn’t help.

“Hey,” He said, a suspicion weighing in the back of his mind, “Is there alcohol in this?”

“Oh shit man, I thought you knew.”

Kevin’s heart dropped, but not for long because he suddenly realized he didn’t actually care. 

“I’m sorry dude I didn’t realize; you’ve had like six cups. You’re not in AA or anything are you?”

Kevin shook his head because he didn’t know what AA meant, but unless it had something to do with exy he surely had nothing to do with it. “All good,” He said, then because he felt like lying added, “I knew, I was just fucking with you.”

Greg burst out laughing and Kevin did too. He put a hand on his heart and breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief. “That was good, that was really fucking good. You had me going there for a second.”

Kevin wanted to ask where he had him going and if it was where Riko and Nina were but thought better of it. Though, he was feeling lighter and he realized he was actually having a good time. He held out his hand for another drink and Greg shook his head with a pretty grin as he refilled his cup.

When Riko found him a little bit later, Kevin was a little unsteady on his feet. 

“Come on, we’re out of here.” Riko grabbed his arm to get his attention, and Kevin waved a floppy hand at Greg as he was pulled towards the door. He must not have realized how drunk Kevin was because he didn’t account for his off-balanced steps as he dragged a stumbling Kevin after him. 

“Why are we leaving?” Kevin asked with a heavy tongue.

“Because this party is lame as shit.” Riko ground out loud enough to get them a couple funny looks. When they were through the door and back in the hallway, Kevin flinched at the industrial lights. 

“Jesus, Kevin, you're wasted.”

“No,” Kevin said, leaning against the nearest wall. 

“I thought you weren’t going to drink.” Kevin realized then that something was wrong with Riko. He was angrier than he was when he left him earlier. He was tense too. 

“I think I like it.” Kevin mumbled. “Did something happen, Riko?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He snipped. “Of course something happened. You don't go into a room alone with a girl for nothing!”

Kevin knew his partner, and he knew Riko was upset about something but he couldn’t figure out what and try to walk at the same time. Riko put his arm under Kevin and gave him something to lean on as they made their way back to their room. 

It was a miracle they didn’t run into anyone in the halls, and when they got to their door, Riko unlocked it and helped Kevin to his bed. Riko took a shower, but Kevin’s head was spinning and he didn’t think he could move, so he just stayed in bed. 

Kevin called out to Riko to ask him how the girl was but he didn’t get an answer. He wasn’t sure if Riko was still in the shower. He wasn’t sure if he even said the question out loud. He decided to leave it and when he closed his eyes he was lulled into sleep. 

Chapter Text

The morning after their party, Kevin had a killer headache and fought very, very hard not to puke. Riko could tell and teased him all day for it. He was in a better mood in the morning, but he didn’t talk about the party other than Kevin’s drunken state. 

The Ravens had morning practices, so the Master gave them private lessons at noon and then they would practice with their little league in the evening. Kevin was grateful they didn’t have to wake up early, but practice was a drag. The Master had more punishments to dole out because Kevin was slower on his feet and his passes were missing. Riko was overcompensating to try and help him out and Kevin didn’t know if he felt bad or if he was trying to make sure Kevin didn't alert the Master to the night they had. 

When it was finally over, Kevin thought he could kiss the ground. 

“I’m never drinking again,” he mumbled, leaning over with his arm on Riko’s shoulder to catch his breath.

He felt Riko’s laugh, “Famous last words. Now let’s hurry and pack up, I’m hungry.”

Kevin made a groaning noise, “Don’t talk about food.”

“Hamburgers, sushi, garlic bread–”

“Stop,” Kevin whined.

“Salmon, potato salad, tuna–”

“Oh god, I’m gonna be sick.”

Riko shoved him away with another laugh and Kevin straightened himself up. They finished picking up stray balls and locking up the gear. Thirty minutes later they were showered and in the cafeteria. 

The second years they saw at the party last night were there and Kevin had to hold in a groan as they waved them over. 

“What the fuck,” He mumbled under his breath discreetly.

“I told you.” Riko mumbled back, leading them over. 

“Thing one and two!” Darren grinned and Riko’s smile was so fake Kevin wanted to laugh. “How’s the head, Kevin?”

Kevin gave him a stoney look and he laughed. 

“I would ask about your head, but I already heard.” He clapped Riko on his shoulders and Kevin waited for someone to explain. No one did. A couple of them laughed and Riko slid out of his grip to take a seat. Kevin followed suit and just like the night before, he let Riko lead the conversations and chipped in when he fit. 

He saw Nathaniel enter the cafeteria in the corner of his eye and smiled. Nathaniel was looking at where they normally sat, but when he looked around he would see they moved. Sure enough, a second later Nathaniel’s eyes found Kevin’s. Kevin lifted his arm to wave him over, but Riko caught it. 

“The fuck are you doing, you’ll ruin all the progress we made.”

“No I won’t. It’s Nathaniel.”

“No one’s going to like us if we bring a kid with us everywhere. He’s like eight.”

“He’s eleven.”

“Same difference.”

Kevin frowned, he wanted Nathaniel to hang out with them too, but maybe Riko did have a point. The Ravens would totally make fun of them if they started talking about the latest editions of their favorite comics. He glanced back to where Nathaniel was, but he was already gone. 

He guessed there was no point in getting hung up on it when Nathaniel was probably going to eat in his room anyway. Sighing, he turned back to the table, with an approving nod from Riko, and joined the conversation again.

When they had their little league practice, Nathaniel was more quiet than normal and Kevin even tried trash talking him to get him to open up but it wasn’t really working. 

“What’s wrong with you today?” Kevin asked while the Master was talking to Riko. 

“What’s wrong with me?” Nathaniel asked incredulously, “What’s wrong with you?”

“Woah, calm down Nathaniel, you look like you’re going to bite me.”

“Maybe I will.”

Kevin chewed on his lip, “Is this about lunch?”

“I just don’t understand.” Nathaniel threw his arms up. “One day we’re talking about how shitty the Ravens are, how they ignore us or push us around and the next you're all buddy buddy with them?”

“They’re not so bad–”

“They’re worse than bad! Darren literally gave me a wedgie before practice!”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Kevin scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe I could.. Talk to him?”

“Oh, don’t do me any favors,” Nathaniel scoffed. “Wouldn’t want you risking your new friendships for little ole me.”

“You’re my friend too!” Kevin fought. “Just because I ate lunch with them, doesn’t mean we’re not friends, I’m allowed to be friends with as many people as I want.”

“Sure you can.”

“I can!”

“Well, I guess we’ll see where you're standing the next time my head gets shoved into a toilet by your new friends.”

Kevin squirmed, “They do that?”

“All the fucking time.” He ground out, and Kevin could tell he was trying not to cry.

“Nathaniel–”

“Whatever Kevin. This was bound to happen eventually. You’re a Raven, I’m not. Let’s move on.”

Nathaniel stomped away and Kevin was left wondering if Nathaniel wanted to move on from the fight or move on from their friendship. The second one was too much to stomach and he knew he couldn’t let that happen. 

But Nathaniel did have a point about the Raven thing. Sure, Kevin and Riko still weren't full on Ravens, but with their private lessons from the Master they were almost there. Nathaniel was just a little behind. So that was their solution, wasn’t it? Get Nathaniel caught up, so he would be invited to private lessons and then he would fit in better. All he had to do was find a way to convince the Master… 

Kevin considered if it would be easier to get Nathaniel a number, then an invite, or an invite and then a number. Surely, one would follow closely behind the other either way, right? Riko would have to acknowledge his skill if he was invited to private lessons. Or if he could find a way to get Nathaniel a number first, he could convince the Master that Nathaniel had Riko's approval. That had to count for something, Riko hardly approved of anything. 

In the end, Nathaniel was invited to private lessons first. The Master wanted a backliner for Kevin and Riko to practice against, so he had Nathaniel and one of the Ravens show up. It was carnage. Riko and Kevin were no match for a Raven, but Nathaniel was no match for them. The Raven was pushing them, and it felt good to be working so hard, but then when they were against Nathaniel, they couldn’t just turn it off and they often overcompensated against him. 

Nathaniel didn’t complain, not when he was shoved, knocked down, or lost his racquet. The Raven yelled at him a lot and so did the Master, but he did what they said easily enough. He normally wasn’t so compliant, but he must have recognized he was going to get seriously injured if he didn’t start making adjustments. When they’re in their younger league, they had other shittier strikers to balance out practice, but three hours against just Riko and Kevin had to be horrible for Nathaniel.

Riko had knocked him down and he took so long to get up, Kevin thought he was dead. He could see the exhaustion taking over his body, and Kevin started to have sympathy pains remembering his first private lesson with the Master. 

“I’m so glad you’re in!” Kevin said at the end of practice. Nathaniel didn’t say anything, presumably too tired to come up with a response. Kevin waited for Riko to catch up and Nathaniel left without a word. Since they weren’t Ravens, they weren’t allowed to use the Ravens locker room or showers, but it didn’t really matter when their rooms were close by. 

Kevin frowned as he watched him go, but he was too excited about the progress to let it ruin his mood. It had been a couple weeks since he and Riko went to that party and they didn’t eat lunch with the Ravens every day, but it was often enough. Sometimes they even let them watch exy games with them in the lounge. Nathaniel was never invited, and Riko made it very clear that Kevin wasn’t allowed to invite him. 

Sometimes Nathaniel would walk by and Kevin pretended he didn’t see the disappointment on his face. It’s not like Nathaniel would want to hang out with them anyway, so he tried not to feel bad about leaving him out. 

It only really bothered him when he tried to talk to him about comics or ask to hangout and Nathaniel would brush him off like he had something better to do. Kevin knew he didn't because Kevin was his only friend in the nest, but if Nathaniel wanted to be petty, then that was on him. Kevin was just holding out for the day, today, he leveled up. Now everything could go back to normal.

Chapter Text

January, 2000

Nathaniel hated his life. Their little league team had a game last weekend and he had been glad to get out of the nest. But then they lost and Riko had tripped him on the way back to the bus. As he lay there with his face in the snow, he realized it was winter. 

When he got back to the nest, he looked it up and realized he'd been living in the nest for six nonraven months. It had been a year since his mother died. He was twelve now. He didn’t feel like he was twelve years old. He didn’t feel like a kid. He didn’t feel like a person at all. Kevin had been ecstatic he joined their private lessons; Nathaniel didn’t feel anything at all. 

He took a look around his room. It was just as empty as the day he arrived. A few weeks after he moved in, he tore his bedsheet in half and covered up his bathroom mirror. He couldn’t stand to see the reflection. The red hair, the blue eyes. Being here was torture enough, having his father here with him was agony. 

He hadn’t taken the sheet down once. Kevin hadn’t noticed, but he had only been to his room a couple of times and never stayed long enough to need the bathroom. 

Whenever he got cuts or scrapes on his face, he would have to feel them out to see if they needed any type of treatment. Most of the time they didn’t, but when they did, he typically didn't bother. His hair was getting long, he could feel that much, and he would have to cut it soon. He’d been using another slice of his sheet as a headband to keep it out of his eyes during training. 

His mother would be furious at him for cutting up his bed sheet in so many ways, but she was dead.

He did consider asking for new sheets, but he didn’t know who to ask. He didn’t know who to ask for anything. Any time he talked to a Raven he left the conversation with his ears ringing. He never bothered to explore the nest, and he had no idea where the master’s office was or anything else. 

He wanted to stay out of everyone’s way, but he also wanted to hide in his room. It only really mattered that he knew how to get to the exy court anyway. Sometimes Nathaniel wished he had one of Kevin’s comics to give him something to do, but he never got the energy to ask. Kevin was too busy kissing Raven ass anyway and Nathaniel didn’t want to be anywhere near that. He never had anything to do in his room, though, and perhaps he would be more bored if he didn't have pain to keep him company. 

He tried not to think of his mother, of his strong mother who was still dead. He knew she wouldn’t be coming back, but he still hoped she would show up to break him out of here. He didn’t think he was still grieving–-which is what those strangers called his feelings at the funeral–-but thoughts of her occupied his mind more often than not.

Sometimes his stomach would grumble, when he forgot to eat, and that pain would distract him too. He didn’t want to see Kevin with the Ravens, so he tried to avoid the cafeteria at common times. That meant he was missing out on the fresh food, though, and he was stuck with whatever options were in the fridges. It was grumbling now, and he tried to think of his last meal. A day ago, probably, but he wasn’t sure if it was a real day or a Raven day.

He considered getting up, then decided against it. Sleep would feel better anyway, sleep would feel like nothing. He turned to face the wall and closed his eyes when he heard a knock on his door. He assumed he imagined it and stayed put, but then there was another. Then he assumed it was probably another Raven prank and still didn’t get up.

At the third knock he heard a muffled voice through the door and sighed. He went over to unlock it and Kevin pushed his way inside. 

“Jeez, what took you so long? Hey, were you sleeping? You know what nevermind, I’m glad you’re awake now.”

Nathaniel wanted Kevin to stop rambling so after locking the door he said, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, that’s no way to greet a friend. I brought you food.”

Nathaniel lifted a brow at the box he was holding out. “Are we? Friends, I mean?”

Kevin’s face fell at that and Nathaniel looked away. He didn’t know if they were about to start fighting but the idea made him want to crawl under his bed. Instead, all Kevin said was, “Yeah, we are.”

“Okay.” Nathaniel said lamely.

“I brought my laptop, I know you haven’t been keeping up with the pros, so we have the weekend to catch up.”

“The weekend?”

“Yeah, the Master and Riko had business and said we have to practice on our own for three days.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“Dunno, not invited I guess.” He shrugged, “I don’t care, I was worried about leaving you alone in the nest anyway.”

Nathaniel felt defensive, “You don’t have to worry about me.”  

“I know.” Kevin sighed. “Eat the chicken or I’ll force it down your throat.”

“Ew, don’t come near me.”

“I mean it.”

“Fine, can we at least watch-–”

“We’re going to watch the Trojans play first.” Kevin declared, then added when Nathaniel rolled his eyes, “But you can choose what we watch after.”

It was the first time Kevin gave Nathaniel a choice on who to watch so he didn’t push more. They climbed into his bed and after getting settled Nathaniel’s stomach grumbled so loud Kevin’s mouth dropped. He reached for the food and put in Nathaniel’s lap with a hard stare, daring him to argue.

Nathaniel sighed, but he was hungry so he did what Kevin asked and ate. He didn’t know why his head felt clearer with Kevin here. It was like Kevin’s presence messed up the energy he had in his room and he wasn’t sure that was such a bad thing. 

He was distracted, but instead of it being painful it was actually kind of…fun. Kevin talked to him about a new comic he saw online but was sold out. He talked about professional exy and players they were going to be better than one day. It reminded Nathaniel of when he could only visit West Virginia for practice and games. When he lived in Baltimore and Kevin and the team were his safe place.

After a shit play Kevin called one of the players a frog faced donkey and Nathaniel actually laughed. Out loud. It was so sudden that both of them paused for a second to take it in. Then they both broke into a fit of giggles. Nathaniel couldn’t remember the last he laughed good heartedly. He had moments on the court where he got carried away, but this was a different kind of laugh, one with joy.

“Hey Nathaniel,” Kevin asked after some time went by.

“Yeah?” Nathaniel replied, without looking away from the screen.

“I turn fourteen in a couple weeks.”

“Yeah, you’re practically ancient.” 

“And I missed your birthday.” Nathaniel looked away from the screen then, and Kevin wore a guilty expression. He paused the game and continued, “I’m sorry.”

Nathaniel shrugged. “I don’t see the point of birthdays.” 

“Well, I still got you something.”

“Yeah, thanks for the dinner.”

“No," Kevin rolled his eyes, "I got you an actual gift.” 

Nathaniel tried not to flinch. Every gift he had gotten on his birthday were from his father and they were all painful. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I wanted to. But um, I had to get the order approved so it’s not in yet.”

“Okay,” Nathaniel shrugged.

“Aren’t you going to ask what it is?” Kevin asked expectantly.

“Um sure, yeah that.”

“It’s a laptop.” He gave an excited grin then pointed at his own, “Same one as me.”

Nathaniel couldn’t believe it. “What?”

“Yeah, because you never leave your room, figured you’d be bored out of your mind. This way you can watch exy or play games and stuff.”

Nathaniel knew Kevin’s present would be way different than the type his father gave him, but he had expected a comic book or something. Not an expensive laptop. “How do you have the money for that?”

“I told the Master, you needed it for schooling and studying game plays.”

“No way.”

“Yep, in a week or so you won’t have to rely on me for entertainment.” Kevin grinned. “But you still have to hang out with me, or I’ll break your charger and you’ll–”

Kevin was cut off as Nathaniel lunged forward and wrapped his arms around his neck. Nathaniel hadn’t been hugged since long before his mother died--and he didn’t realize the act would make him so emotional--but when Kevin wrapped his arms around his back, he felt his eyes sting and squeezed tighter. 

“Thank you,” he whispered into his neck, and hoped Kevin knew it was for more than just the laptop. Kevin squeezed back and didn’t let go until Nathaniel pulled away. They looked at each other awkwardly for a second and then turned back to the game.

After the game Nathaniel picked out finished, Kevin yawned. “It’s getting kind of late.”

“You can spend the night,” Nathaniel offered. 

“Really?”

“Riko’s gone, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, you’re right," Kevin grinned. "He won’t even notice!”

“Yeah, just don’t hog all the blankets.”

“Yeah, about that… Why is your sheet half the size it should be?” Kevin arched his brow.

Nathaniel didn’t want to ruin the fun they were having so he said, “Dunno, it came like that.”

Kevin scoffed as if he was prepared to fire whoever messed up the order and gave Nathaniel a faulty sheet. “I’ll get it handled tomorrow.”

Nathaniel just nodded and picked out another match for them to watch. Kevin changed the match to a Trojan one before it could even start but Nathaniel didn’t push him back on it. Eventually they both fell asleep with the game playing in between them.

Chapter Text

“Kevin if you don’t stop tripping over your feet I’m going to punch you.” Riko growled in their team huddle.

“I’m not doing it on purpose!” Kevin said sheepishly. “He keeps tripping me.”

“Box him out!”

“He’s bigger than me,” Kevin argued, because they were moved up an age group and were now fourteen playing with sixteen up. Nathaniel was on the team too, but they wouldn’t put him in because he was over a foot shorter than every other player. Kevin once again prayed he would hit his growth spurt sooner rather than later, but even Kevin and Riko were still growing, and they were two years older than him. 

The Master was at their game, but he wasn’t interested in coaching anyone other than the Ravens and the three of them, so he wasn’t in the huddle. Riko thought this meant he had to prove himself as a leader or captain or whatever.

He wasn’t the captain–-one of the older boys who played dealer was–-but that was because they let the team vote and he was more popular. Riko was arguably a better player, but they were still new to the team, so he didn't get enough votes.

Donovan, the captain, didn’t want to put Riko and Kevin in at the same time because they were both younger and smaller, but that was his loss. Riko and Kevin were more fluid on a court than any other striker duo. The reason they were doing so badly was because they weren't in together.

The second half was about to start and the score was tied. Kevin was in now, but clearly he was not performing up to standards. Luckily, for Kevin not the team, the backliners were performing just as poorly and Riko had changed focus to hound them. Kevin was trying to think of ways to outmaneuver the guy marking him when suddenly all of their heads snapped to Nathaniel.

Kevin’s heart stopped for a second, thinking Nathaniel had made a smart comment that was about to get him tossed in a trashcan but then Donovan told him to go on. 

“Number seven favors his left side. I think he twisted his right ankle when Redder tackled him in first half. Keep to that side of him and half of his focus will go to worrying if you’ll hit his weak side.”

He waited for someone to say something, tell him off perhaps, but Donovan nodded for him to keep going.

“He’s also got shit aim when he’s on the left of goal so keep him on the right if you can." Nathaniel pointed to their backliner, Sutton, "You should just go ahead and sit down. Twelve is running laps around you and I’m getting secondhand embarrassment. And also, you should let Kevin and Riko play together.”

He rushed out that last part as Sutton moved to shove Nathaniel. Thankfully, Donovan stepped in. “No fighting. Ben, you heard what he said about seven, Sutton, you’re out.”

He held up his hand as Sutton started to protest. “Nathaniel’s right about that. Kevin, box out your guy. Riko, you’ll go in for Hudson after the first fifteen minutes. Connor, when Riko goes in, be more mindful of your passes, they’ll have to be long because the backliners out there are tall. Got it?”

Everyone nodded and then someone asked who would be going in for Sutton. For a second Kevin had hoped he would say Nathaniel but then Donovan looked around and settled on Geo. Geo nodded but Nathaniel spoke up again. “Put me in.”

A couple people laughed, including Riko, but Nathaniel kept his eyes on Donovan. “You need someone fast, I’m fast.”

“Not gonna happen, thanks for tips though.” He smacked the top of Nathaniel’s helmet and then they were making their way back to the court. 

Kevin was doing better with his footwork and not tripping, but the other team scored again after ten minutes. He wasn’t sure if they didn’t take Nathaniel's advice or if they were finding other issues, but it pissed him off. How the fuck could they let this second-string team stay with them like this? Just five more minutes and then he and Riko would clean up this mess.

And they did. Riko came onto the court, and they crossed racquets as he went to his spot. When Connor threw the ball forward, Kevin caught it on rebound and sent it to the ceiling. The pass came down in a wide arc and Riko was there to score. 

The goal flashed and Kevin and Riko met in the middle to slap helmets. 

"That’s what I’m fucking talking about!” Riko screamed and Kevin laughed.

The game reset and it only took six minutes for Riko to assist Kevin’s goal. Connor met them for their celebration and Kevin could tell Riko was about to tell him to fuck off so he said, “Connor tell the defense to keep their shit together and it’s an easy win.”

Connor laughed and after slapping shoulders he went back to half court, hopefully relaying Kevin’s message. When there was eight minutes left, the other team scored. Kevin cursed and slammed his racquet on the ground. Then he cursed again when the refs blew the whistle for fighting. His eyes snapped up and Geo had his striker in a headlock. 

“Fucking idiot.” Kevin muttered.  

Geo got a red card and the striker he was guarding was laughing and flipping him off as he went off the court. Riko made it up to Kevin’s side then. Kevin’s attention snapped toward the door as Riko looked past him and said, “No fucking shit.” 

Nathaniel was walking on the court. Kevin beamed. 

“Don’t look so happy Kevin. If he ruins this for us–”

“He won’t.” Kevin promised.

“He better fucking not.”

Kevin wasn’t sure if Nathaniel was able to convince Donovan to put him in or if something else happened, but he was really, really happy for Nathaniel. If he said he could keep up with twelve, then Kevin believed him. 

The game started again and after a few minutes the other team scored. Riko was pissed and Kevin was pissed too, but he was also relieved it was seven who scored, which meant this wasn’t Nathaniel’s fault. 

Riko was screaming curses down the line and Kevin shook his head. They had to score again, soon. The next time Kevin got the ball, he had to pass it to himself off the wall to get around his backliner. The guy really was trying to trip him up. He didn't have the perfect set up, but he and Riko didn't need anything other than each other to make perfect plays.

He threw the ball wide of the goal and it bounced off the back wall. Riko scooped it off its first bounce on the ground and four steps later the goal was flashing.

Kevin's backliner had tackled him right after he made the pass, but he scrambled off the ground and rushed towards Riko. They jumped and collided midair, which was probably not the best idea considering Kevin had just been tackled but he was just too excited. Riko slapped his helmet a few times and then they were getting back in starting position.

Connor's deal was shit. The other team had possession of the ball almost immediately. Kevin cursed under his breath, but he didn't have to worry about it for long. Connor sent Riko the ball after defense won it back and he and Kevin sent it back and forth until they had a good shot.

Kevin got the opportunity first, but the goalie was ready and smacked it back to half court. Kevin cursed himself, but he had to admit it was a good save for the goalie.

The other team’s dealer sent the ball to her striker and Kevin held his breath as it went towards Nathaniel. The backliner guarding Kevin was pushing on him a bit and he tried to step away to keep his eye on the ball. 

Riko was cursing up a storm that Kevin could hear despite being so far away. They raced for the ball and Kevin couldn’t see who caught it from the angle but they were fighting a path to the goal. A second later Nathaniel tackled the striker to the ground and they both went rolling. 

Nathaniel jumped up and scrambled for the ball. He flicked it to himself and sent it flying to the dealer, but the buzzer was already going off. They won. Kevin ran to Riko but right when they met the whistles started blowing like crazy. They both looked down court and the striker Nathaniel tackled was sitting on the ground. His arm--forearm--was bent. Snapped in half.

“Ew,” Kevin said, when it hung limp. “That’s sick.”

“Aw no way,” Riko laughed. “He broke his arm, he broke his fucking arm!”

Nathaniel was running up to them, and Kevin thought he looked a little queasy but couldn’t say anything while Riko was laughing like a maniac. Riko stepped forward and threw his arm around Nathaniel, “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Nathaniel’s eyes went wide and Riko gripped his face while still holding him close, then Riko drug his tongue across Nathaniel's cheek. “Got a number for you later.”

Nathaniel cringed, probably from being licked, but Kevin’s face broke out in a grin. “You really mean that, Riko?”

“Yeah, kid’s worse than I thought,” Riko said, making it sound like a compliment. Nathaniel was grinning now too. He knew the importance of a number. It was temporary but it was permanent. Nathaniel would be perfect court. He would be with them forever. 

“We’re going straight to the fucking top!” Kevin whooped and he could tell Nathaniel was trying to play it cool so Riko wouldn’t change his mind. Kevin went to his other side and slung his arm around him and they made their way to the bus. 

When Riko was using the bathroom Kevin and Nathaniel waited outside the bus for him to catch up. 

“Nathaniel, that was fucking wild–”

“I know–”

“I can’t believe you got a number–”

“I know–”

“You took that guy clean off his feet–”

“I know–”

“You broke his arm–”

I tripped!” Nathaniel blurted. 

Kevin frozen. “You…”

“I didn’t mean to! I was keeping up, I was. But then my foot hit his lace or something, I don’t even know. But I was off balance and I reached out and grabbed his jersey by accident and–”

Kevin slapped a palm over Nathaniel’s mouth to get him to stop rambling. Nathaniel’s eyes were wide, and Kevin cautiously said, “No one else needs to know.”

He removed his hand and Nathaniel said, with a little disbelief, “I broke his arm.”

“You and I know you didn’t mean to. That’s all that matters, okay?”

Nathaniel nodded and Kevin sighed in relief. 

“This is good, okay.” He pointed to his cheek. "This is big. I can’t believe all it took was you breaking a kid’s arm to impress Riko.”

“You can’t?” Nathaniel said in mock surprise and then they both broke out laughing. Riko walked up then and they got on their bus, Kevin sitting next to Riko and Nathaniel behind them. Riko kept talking about the striker’s arm and the angle it was bent. He wondered how long he would be out and if it would even heal properly.

Nathaniel had to be cringing inside, and it had to be bad if he didn’t even make any smart comments. Kevin hoped he wouldn’t throw up later. It was a gross injury, but it wasn’t that gross.

By the time they were back at the nest, the broken arm was old news, and they were all ready for showers and bed. Kevin made sure to give Nathaniel a shoulder squeeze as a show of pride before they went their separate ways.

Chapter Text

Riko pressed the sharpie onto Nathaniel’s cheek, and he might have flinched if he wasn’t used to knives doing the same. He finally impressed Riko… but at what cost? Nathaniel had trouble thinking about anything other than that kid’s broken arm. Riko had congratulated him and when they got back to the nest some of the other Ravens did too. 

Nathaniel felt a little sick about the whole thing, but not because of guilt. The problem was Nathaniel didn’t feel guilty…at all. He was used to the pain and brutal things that could be done to a body. He had experienced them himself. Just a few months ago Riko had broken his fingers and before that he had just healed from a broken nose and elbow his father gifted him. It just… wasn’t a big deal to him. 

He wondered if there was something wrong with him and had been wondering for a while now. But how could he be fazed by a broken arm when he had seen so much worse? The team they were playing was a private school. That kid was going to go to a hospital where he got real treatment, and his nice parents would probably meet him there and say they’re just glad he’s alright.

He didn’t really have any sympathy to spare for that. He thought about talking to Kevin about it, but he was scared he was going to freak him out. Kevin didn’t like hurting people, that much Nathaniel knew. And it wasn’t like Nathaniel enjoyed breaking his arm, it was an accident after all, but his lack of remorse wasn’t something he wanted to advertise. 

He was also scared it made him like Riko. Riko was known for being an aggressive striker and had been in plenty of accidents himself that he never seemed to care about. Was that what Nathaniel was turning into? He shuddered at the thought.

“I’m gonna get us off that shitty team,” Riko declared. They were getting ready for afternoon training with the Master but their league practice for later had just been canceled because they “deserved a break” for “fighting for that win.” It was inconceivable to the three of them and even though they agreed to practice by themselves, Riko wasn’t prepared to let it go.

“They’re not that bad.” Kevin offered.

“But they’re nowhere near good.” Riko stated. 

“They’re the best team in the state.”

“I don’t know how they got that title, but I can’t think of any team less deserving.”

Nathaniel knew there were plenty of less deserving teams, but he didn’t really think that was important.

“It’s embarrassing for the sons of exy to play at such low standards.” Riko went on. “We’re fourteen now, we need to be playing with kids at our level.”

“There are no kids at our level.” 

“True.” Riko gave a devilish smile then.

“No way,” Kevin said, and Nathaniel felt his hands go cold. 

“I don’t really see another option. We’ll never get to Court if we don’t have a challenge.”

“There’s a difference between a challenge and suicide.” Kevin argued. 

“This is not suicide.” Riko waved his hand, “Well, maybe for Three, but we’ll be fine.”

“I’m not dying from exy.” Nathaniel couldn’t help but argue. “I’m just as good as any Raven. Let’s fucking do it.”

“See Kevin, even he knows it’s a good idea.”

Kevin squirmed in his seat. “The Master won’t let us.”

“Leave that to me,” Riko said, gesturing for them to get on the court. Nathaniel wasn't sure what Riko planned to do to convince the Master, but Riko always got his way sooner or later. They did a few warmup laps and stretches and then the Master was there, starting them on drills. 

Nathaniel wasn’t worried about moving up a league. He was great at exy. Once he grew some more there would be no stopping him. He was going to be thirteen next year and that is when kids normally hit their growth spurt. In the last year Kevin grew a lot. He and Riko were like 166 centimeters now. Still shorter than all the Ravens, but it was better than the 147 centimeters Nathaniel had to work with. 

Nathaniel was getting faster, though. He was always able to keep up with Riko and Kevin, sometimes he was even faster than the other Ravens. It helped him get to overthrown passes before strikers, and sometimes get in front of them to trip them up. It helped that he knew how to play to his strengths, and to his opponent’s weaknesses.

This private lesson was…painful. The Master pushed Nathaniel around more than he was used to and his verbal lashings were just as harsh. He was a brutal coach, nothing like the one from the league. But he didn’t wear Nathaniel’s father’s face, so he knew he could deal. 

After practice, Kevin gave Nathaniel approximately thirty-six different pointers on what he was doing wrong, and Nathaniel was so annoyed he thought about dumping water over his head. Riko didn’t really talk to him unless absolutely necessary, which Nathaniel found he didn’t mind. 

He and Riko got a lot more aggressive on the court, they always had. But right after practice was over, some of the tension still lingered for a bit. Nathaniel hated the way Riko slapped him upside the head or tripped him with his racquet, but he also knew Riko hated the things Nathaniel whispered to him during plays. 

He couldn’t help it though, he had planned to go easy on the shit talking today because he wore a number now, but the second they got out there the words just flew out of his mouth. Riko tried to shut him up, but Nathaniel had a feeling Riko would actually be more upset if he didn’t try and piss off his strikers. 

It was dirty, and Riko liked to play dirty. Riko also liked for his court to match his style. Nathaniel didn’t know how to feel about that, but he knew he wasn’t going to try and muzzle himself. Kevin was not a fan of his little habit, but Kevin could get nasty on the court too. If he wanted to, which he has, many, many times. It was just a part of playing contact sports. Physical and verbal fights were inevitable. 

Nathaniel wished he could say Riko was a shit player–well technically he did say it, as loud and often as he could on the court–but he didn’t actually believe it. Partly because Riko scored on him half the time, but also because Riko was just as good as Kevin and Kevin was remarkable. They were the sons of exy, it was in their blood and it showed. 

“Line up.” The Master called just as they finished picking up balls. Riko and Kevin fell into line immediately and Nathaniel followed suit a second later. He wasn’t sure what was going on, because practice had already come to an end, so he watched Kevin in the corner of his eye to copy what he did.

The Master stood and stared at them for so long, Nathaniel’s feet were starting to itch. But Kevin didn’t move, so Nathaniel didn’t either. Then the Master stepped forward and backhanded Riko so hard the crack echoed through the court. 

Kevin flinched more than Riko did, but they both stayed in line. Nathaniel was in such shock, he had never seen the Master hit Riko so blatantly. He hit him twice more and Riko just stood there and took it, his face only turning from the power of the hit. The Master hit Kevin before Nathaniel could think to stop him and the crack was still reverberating when Nathaniel took a hit of his own.

He brought his hand to his cheek. It was warm and tender. Nathaniel looked to Kevin and Riko, but they just stared forward. The Master hit him again, and again. He crumpled to the ground, and his hands shook as he tried to get back up. 

The Master hit him again. The pain wasn’t foreign, he had suffered much worse from his father and his father’s people, but it had been so long. He had gotten used to the Ravens’ bullying, but they were nowhere near this brutal. 

The Master hit him again, and this time he stayed down. He could feel blood dripping down his nose, but he knew it wasn’t broken. He was distantly aware of the Master walking away, but Kevin and Riko stayed in line until the chamber doors closed behind him. 

Kevin was by his side a moment later and put his hand on Nathaniel’s to help him up.

“Hurry up, I’m hungry.” Riko said matter-of-factly. 

“I don’t understand.” Nathaniel meant to sound stronger, but his voice came out weak. 

“Story of your life,” Riko snapped. “Get up. We’re going. Now.”

Nathaniel scrambled up and Kevin gave him an apologetic look but didn’t say anything. They put the rest of the gear away in silence and then they were acting like nothing happened at all.

Nathaniel knew the Master could be savage, and he knew how parents could be, but the way Kevin and Riko were so unfazed… A cold icy fear climbed up Nathaniel’s back. All this time he thought he had escaped the brutality he was used to in Baltimore. Had he been removed from one cage only to be put in another?

Chapter Text

February, 2000

Riko and Kevin had been to two more Raven parties since the first. They happened infrequently on nights when the Master was out on business. Despite giving him a number, Riko said Nathaniel couldn’t know. He said he would tell on them, but Kevin knew that wasn’t true, Nathaniel was great at keeping secrets. 

But he didn’t necessarily want Nathaniel there either, so he made excuses when Nathaniel offered to hangout on those nights. He felt bad lying about it, but for some reason he was ashamed of the truth. He didn’t want him around all the older kids when they were so drunk. He didn’t want Nathaniel around him when he was drunk. He didn’t know why, but he thought Nathaniel might make fun of him for doing it. 

He did think watching exy and looking at comics was tempting, but Riko said they had to go to the party. Kevin had to stay by Riko's side, but he wasn’t really against going anyway--he could hang out with Nathaniel other times. After the first one, Kevin would stay up with Riko until the party, and they would drink in their room before going. They were pretty much the same as the first one, but Kevin was getting better at dealing with the morning after now. 

Riko hadn’t gone off alone with another girl since the first one and Kevin wondered if he had a bad time or if he just didn’t see anyone else he liked. He tried to ask him, but Riko just said he was bored of girls right now and handed Kevin another drink.

Kevin also found out that Greg wasn’t actually a server, apparently those kinds of parties didn’t hire people to help. Kevin was very glad he didn’t try to tip Greg because he would have been extremely embarrassed. He didn't talk to Greg as much the other nights, staying with Riko and talking to whoever he wanted to.

They must have left early the first night because it was like after a certain time, everyone agreed to find someone to suck face. It grossed Kevin out immensely. Luckily, Riko pulled him away from the party whenever it happened and they would go back to their room. Kevin had seen Riko and Nina kiss and stuff during the first one and that was enough of that for him. 

The next party was supposed to be tonight, but Riko said they weren’t going. The Master would be out, but they were to accompany him. They were going to a professional exy match and Kevin couldn’t contain his excitement. Riko wasn’t as enthused as Kevin would have thought, he sat at his desk while Kevin started going through his closet to pick out an outfit. 

After tossing a couple things around, Riko walked over and jerked him by his collar. Kevin fell back, but he was still giddy with excitement. Riko kicked the strewn clothes into a pile and pulled out a nice black shirt and black slacks. Kevin was going on about the team and the players and Riko tossed the clothes at his face. 

Kevin started undressing while talking about the starting line ups. Riko went to his own closet and picked out a matching outfit. Kevin changed quickly, running to the bathroom to fix his hair while calling out rivalries. Riko buttoned his cuffs. Kevin brushed his teeth while talking about the last time the two teams played. Riko stormed into the bathroom with a scowl on his face and held a towel under his chin before the toothpaste could drip on his shirt.

“If you make us have to change, I’ll cut your eyes out.” He threatened and Kevin gave a sheepish smile that had more toothpaste falling down. Kevin took the towel and wiped his chin before Riko could do it for him.

Thirty minutes later they were in a limo with the Master on the way to the professional court. Kevin stayed quiet during the car ride because he knew the Master wouldn’t condone the chatter, but he was still very excited. The Moriyama’s had a box, so they had a great view of the court. Kevin had run up to the glass window and practically drooled on it. 

To Kevin’s extreme disappointment, though, they weren’t able to watch much--or any--of the game. The Master had a business meeting, and he and Riko were to sit quietly at his side while they negotiated. There were two businessmen and a businesswoman sitting on the couch across from them. There were security guards at the door, some came with them, and some were Moriyama property.

They spoke in Japanese and Kevin was only able to pick up bits and pieces, so he eventually tuned them out completely. His eyes wandered yearningly across the room to the window where an exy game was going on, but he wasn’t allowed to get up to watch. What a waste.

“I’m going to get a drink from downstairs, Kevin, would you help me?”

Kevin’s attention snapped to the businesswoman who spoke, and he wondered if she noticed he was distracted by the window. “Uhh s–”

“I’ll go.” Riko said before Kevin could answer.

Kevin looked over and Riko wore a stoney expression that dared Kevin to challenge him. It was one of the nastier ones he used when he planned to get his way at any means necessary. 

“Come along, then.” The Master and the two men didn't even break their conversation as the businesswoman stood to go and Riko didn’t look back as he followed her to the door. Kevin sighed and hoped he at least got to see some of the match while they went to concessions. Maybe she would buy him M&M’s while they were there, those were his and Riko's favorite candy. 

Kevin could be jealous and happy for him at the same time, couldn’t he?

Eventually they started gathering up their papers and Kevin knew the meeting was over. He was relieved because his legs were starting to go numb from sitting still. There were still thirty minutes of the game left, but he knew they weren’t going to stay to watch, they didn’t come for the game. Kevin dutifully stood and bowed, giving a short farewell in Japanese. They were at the door when the businesswoman and Riko showed up. The businesswoman walked away with the men and then Riko came back over as the Master finished his drink. Kevin looked over at Riko when he took his place by his side and frowned.

Riko didn’t have any M&M’s.

Chapter Text

March, 2000

When they made it back to the nest, they rushed back to their rooms to get changed. The game was an evening one, but on Raven hours it was time for their private lesson. Riko showered before practice, which Kevin thought was odd, but they were rushing from the room before he could point out the silliness of it.

Nathaniel showed up a minute after them and he looked like he had just woken up from a nap. Kevin snorted. The laptop he ordered for Nathaniel’s birthday came in a couple weeks ago and every time he showed up to practice with bloodshot eyes, Kevin knew he had stayed up late playing games or watching exy. 

If it went on for much longer, Kevin was going to intervene and tell him to focus on exy. He was hoping Nathaniel would work out a schedule for himself before then, he did learn best by making mistakes. 

In practice, he got hit a lot, like a lot, but hardly by the same move twice. He was good at adapting in the moment and where he lacked in height and weight, he made up for with his quick thinking and affinity for pissing strikers off.

Unfortunately he was not proving his worth this practice. Kevin grumbled as Riko took Nathaniel off his feet for the third time in the last five minutes. Kevin was still suffering from disappointment about missing the pro exy match and he was not in the mood to deal with Riko’s hyper-agression being taken out on Nathaniel because he didn’t know how to shut his mouth. He also wasn’t in the mood to play mediator though, so he settled on rolling his eyes. 

He should have known the Master would take matters into his own hands. He should have just gotten over himself and helped them. But it was too late now and the Master held both of them by the scruff of their necks. Kevin started to move towards them but the Master had him pausing. 

“Choose.”

Kevin didn’t know what he meant, and he had a feeling the Master did that on purpose. Was he choosing who to save or who to hurt?  He didn’t want to choose at all, but the Master screamed, “Choose!” and he just blurted out a name.

“Riko!” 

Riko was his partner, he’s been with him since forever. It was instinct to choose him, to say his name. The Master threw Riko forward and he fell to his hands and knees. And then the Master took Nathaniel’s racquet and hit Nathaniel in the gut. Nathaniel keeled over and Kevin could tell he couldn’t breathe. 

The Master swung again, this time at Riko and Kevin screamed his name. Riko put his arm up on instinct and the racquet collided with his wrist. The Master grabbed Riko’s collar and hauled him to his feet. “You stupid fucking boy!” He hissed, “Don’t ever do that again!”

Riko nodded profusely, clutching his wrist to his chest and the only relief Kevin felt was because he didn’t hear a snap. The Master must have seen Riko’s movement right before he hit and pulled back because if he would have had the impact at full force, Kevin was sure it would be broken. 

“Practice is over.” He snapped. “Get that looked at. Disappointments, I can’t even look at you."

Riko was still rubbing his wrist when the door closed behind the Master and Kevin ran to his side. Nathaniel recovered quick enough from the blow to the stomach because he crawled over too.

“Riko, are you okay?” Nathaniel wheezed and Riko’s uninjured hand immediately swung out and slapped him.

Nathaniel and Kevin were both stunned into silence. For a minute no one said anything. It was like they were all sitting on thin ice and waiting to see who was going to fall in first. Kevin realized he had to do something to save his team. 

It was perhaps the dumbest thing Kevin had ever done in his life, but he lifted his hand and slapped himself across the face as hard as he could. 

Riko and Nathaniel both snapped their eyes to him and stared. Kevin wasn’t sure what his plan actually was, considering he hadn’t used a single brain cell in coming up with it, but then Nathaniel burst out laughing. 

Kevin waited for Riko to say or do something, but then he was chuckling too. “Fucking idiot, Kevin.”

Kevin joined them and then they were a mess of giggles as they laid on the court floor. Kevin stood first, pulling Riko up by his good hand. “You think it’s okay?”

“Not broken, so yeah.” Riko shrugged.

“I hate when he does that,” Kevin couldn't stop himself from saying it but he looked around to make sure no one had randomly showed up and overheard. “I hate when he plays those mind games.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s so much worse than getting hit.” Nathaniel deadpanned. 

“It is!” Kevin argued, then cringed at himself. “I mean–I just meant that I don’t like feeling like we’re on different teams. It’s like he wants us to be against each other.”

“Not really.” Nathaniel rubbed his stomach, presumably still feeling the hit. “He’s building a team.”

“I don’t really see how beating us senseless brings us together.” Riko grouched. “Normally I just want to kill you after.”

Nathaniel gave him a look that said he wasn’t surprised he didn’t understand and Kevin was very grateful Riko was looking at his wrist and didn’t see. He turned to Kevin, “You chose Riko just then, you were loyal to him. Passed the test, like in the comics–”

“But the Master hit Riko anyway,” Kevin argued.

“Yeah because the Master’s an asshole.” Nathaniel grumbled and Kevin checked their surroundings again. “Imagine how fucked you would have been if you chose me.” Nathaniel laughed, but it didn’t hold any humor.

“It’s because of this,” Riko flicked Nathaniel’s cheek where his number was. 

“But the Master invited Nathaniel to private lessons first,” Kevin pointed out. “He knew where it would lead.” 

“He’s not mad I claimed him, he’s mad I did it without asking him.”

“You didn’t ask him?” Kevin said, his voice coming out a little squeaky.

“Fuck no, I’m a king.” Riko said it like it was obvious. “Kings choose their court and they sure as hell don’t need permission for anything. Nathaniel might be a shitty player right now–”

“I’m a great player,” Nathaniel argued, but Riko kept going like he didn’t hear him.

“--but one day, when he’s a foot taller probably, he might not be the biggest disaster the courts have ever seen.”

“I’m better than any of those league guys!” Nathaniel pushed on. 

“And he knows how to take a punch, his only semi-redeeming quality, but useful nonetheless.”

Nathaniel was quiet at that, because none of them could argue it. Nathaniel’s recovery time after getting socked was impressive. Especially since he’s normally getting knocked around by guys twice his size.

“Okay so the Master is just testing us, making sure the perfect court is perfect.” Kevin said, mostly to get the subject away from Nathaniel’s shortcomings. 

“Which is stupid and unnecessary.” Riko snarked. “Let’s go, I'm tired of talking about this. Nathaniel, clean up.”

Nathaniel made to protest but Riko shoved him down on the ground

“I’m not asking.” 

Nathaniel scowled but Riko was already going towards the door. Kevin needed to go with him to make sure he got his wrist looked at so he shot Nathaniel an apologetic look and pointed to his wrist. Nathaniel rolled his eyes, but Kevin knew he would clean up. If he didn’t they would all suffer at the Master’s hands and Nathaniel was smarter than that.

Luckily, Riko’s wrist wasn’t broken. He said it was just sore and they gave him a brace for it. Kevin tried to get him to wear it but Riko threw it at his head hard enough for Kevin to leave the matter alone. 

Riko didn’t let his wrist stop him from practicing, and he didn’t show any signs of pain over the next couple of weeks. Kevin thought Nathaniel had a good point about what the Master was trying to do to them. The Ravens operated in pairs, Riko was Kevin’s partner and he always would be. 

If they were going to prove that they were ready to be Ravens, then they had to show their unity. Kevin stuck by Riko’s side even more than normal and to Nathaniel’s chagrin, always chose Riko. He felt bad, sometimes, but this was for exy. Nathaniel would understand when he got his own partner one day.

Riko always chose Kevin too, but he never felt bad about it and Nathaniel never got a choice, but Kevin liked to think he would be his if he did. Not that it mattered. 

Nathaniel and Riko got into fights almost every training session. The Master would probably punish them more if Riko didn’t handle it efficiently. Nathaniel was just too small, and he always ended up on the ground after going one comment too far. 

Kevin and Nathaniel sometimes got into arguments when he was being an asshole, but it never got physical–or at least it never went past pushing each other around or tripping each other up. It pissed Kevin off when he tried to trip him and he sent a lot of curses his way. Nathaniel would typically laugh and that pissed Kevin off more. 

There was a small voice in the back of his head that pointed out Nathaniel was getting better. He would never tell Nathaniel, but since starting private lessons, he made a decent amount of progress. They still won’t let him play in the league, but sometimes Kevin thinks he wouldn’t be completely helpless against the sixteen–and maybe some of the shittier seventeen–year olds.

Now that he had a number, some of the league players have been trying to get in good with Riko, as if they would be next in line. Riko said they were nowhere near adequate enough and they were too old to hold any promise for future breakthroughs. Kevin had to agree.

He wasn’t sure who Nathaniel’s partner would be, but he hoped he would be taller than Nathaniel. Even at his age, Kevin and Riko were both taller than what he was at. Now that he’s been eating again he’s put on some weight, but he would have to put a lot more work in the weight room if he stays short. God, Kevin hoped he started growing soon. 

The Master had a few business dealings that called him away from the nest in the past month. Sometimes Kevin and Riko went to one of the Raven parties, other times Riko had to go with the Master and Kevin would stay with Nathaniel. They often fell asleep watching exy matches or playing an awful quality exy game Nathaniel had to jailbreak his computer to download. 

He never let Riko know when he had those nights with Nathaniel. He liked that they had their own time together where they could do fun stuff and wanted to keep it for himself. He told himself it was only fair because Nathaniel didn’t know about the parties he and Riko went to. Nathaniel would be grossed out by the drinking the way Riko would be grossed out by their fan of comics and games. It felt oddly balanced. 

Though he never told Riko, he had a feeling Riko suspected. Riko never said anything but he would come back to the nest in such a foul mood he would often shove Kevin and pick a fight until they were wrestling on the ground. Kevin was used to those kinds of fights with Riko though, they had been doing it since forever. 

By the time March came around, the final rounds of Championships were taking place. The Ravens were knocked out before the semi-finals and it was a huge upset. Fans rioted everywhere. Riko had said he wasn’t surprised because the team was shit this year, but Kevin was disappointed in the loss. 

It didn’t help that the Ravens became absolute nightmares when their season ended early. Nathaniel had a permanent black eye these days and they weren’t nice to Kevin either. They had a mild tolerance of Riko which helped Kevin’s cause but when Riko wasn’t around he was fair game. 

The first time Kevin was with Nathaniel when they tried to throw him in a trashcan, Kevin had tried to interfere. He got a punch to the gut and they held him down while they pushed Nathaniel around. Nathaniel had told him their hits didn’t hurt, but Kevin knew he had to be lying. 

The Master didn’t do anything to stop the Ravens, probably because he was just as pissed off. Their training was filled with more punishments than training at this point. Even the Ravens walked around the nest more busted up than normal, something Nathaniel was constantly pointing out. He had told Francesca that he liked her purple eyeshadow the other day but that she should try to even out the shading. She gave him a makeover to match. Kevin wished Nathaniel would shut his mouth but he seemed to be able to play through the pain so Kevin didn’t really know when to intervene. 

Since the season was over, the Ravens were going to be starting their off-season training schedule soon and Riko was determined to get them involved. He had been making Kevin and Nathaniel practice for two extra hours a day by themselves to get them ready. It was exhausting, but Kevin was really hoping it would pay off. 

Once the sting of the loss wore off, the Master would recognize their improvement and have them join the Raven practices. If they could start during the summer, then they would have four years of practicing as a Raven before they were officially on the team. Four years felt like a long time, but Kevin couldn’t even imagine how much they would improve during that time. They would be unstoppable when they debuted. They would be perfect.

Chapter Text

Nathaniel didn’t really care when Riko or the other Ravens hit him. He wasn’t lying when he told Kevin it didn’t hurt. It was a familiar ache, but also nothing in comparison to his father or even the Master. And oftentimes, Nathaniel was too busy being frustrated to care about the pain that got through. He hated feeling helpless, hated it more than anything. 

When they tossed him around like he was nothing, it made him want to scream. But he wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to him. One day he would be big enough to kick all of their asses at the same time. That’s what he kept reminding himself. Until then he was left hitting them in the only way he could, with words. 

Nathaniel was very, very good with his words. He considered it his second best skill after exy. He knew the Ravens would rough him up if they found him alone, so he tried to make a game out of it. How fast could he piss off the Ravens? It was, oftentimes, very fast. They were so sensitive sometimes, it made Nathaniel smile to think about. 

It made him feel less helpless too, if he was the one starting the fights. He might not be able to control what happens after he opens his mouth, but he had control of that one small piece. It kept him from being blindsided and for now, it would have to do. 

Nathaniel didn’t enjoy the way Kevin and Riko had been teaming up in practices. He expected as much from Riko, but Kevin’s actions were disappointing. He often let Kevin know his feelings on the court when they were fighting for the ball. Perhaps Kevin just thought it was game talk, but Nathaniel was secretly hurt by Kevin’s refusal to stand up for him. 

He got over it quickly, though. No one has ever stood up for Nathaniel–except his mother but she was dead. He was used to standing on his own and he wouldn’t act like a baby about it. He could almost hear his mother’s voice scolding him for even thinking about relying on someone other than himself. 

Besides, Kevin didn’t need to stand up for Nathaniel, Nathaniel could take what everyone was throwing at him. As long as Kevin wasn’t also throwing things at him he would adapt and survive. The other day, he was actually able to escape three pissed off Ravens by hiding in a closet. 

Riko was someone he could never escape because he had to guard him in training, but Nathaniel was fast enough to dodge almost half of his hits. Also Riko hit like a pussy, something he’s told him plenty of times–ergo the half he couldn’t dodge. 

Riko had been right when he said Nathaniel knew how to take a punch. He knew how to turn his head so the angle wasn’t as jarring. He knew how to flex his muscles to make the impact easier on him. He knew how to protect his teeth and eyes because no one was good in a fight if they lost their vision and he was no good in a fight if he lost his ability to talk shit.

He was also very careful to keep his hands in good shape. He was already having trouble adjusting to the heavy racquet the Master required he used when he started private lessons. He had been shocked to learn Nathaniel hadn’t been using a heavy the whole time and made him run the entire practice. Two hours, only cut short because he had passed out. Fun times. 

The computer Kevin got him was Nathaniel’s saving grace. The batman watch Kevin had given him so long ago was gone now. He didn’t have memories of that night, but he didn’t need them to know that he would never see it again. He was sad because it was the first time he’d gotten a nice birthday gift, even if Kevin had missed that birthday too and gave it to him late. But now he has another gift, and it’s arguably way cooler. 

Nathaniel was operating on very little sleep now that he had something to occupy his time. The Ravens had sixteen hour days, he spent three at private training with the master, two at night training with just Riko and Kevin, and three and a half in schooling. Not to mention they had league practice every day and a half (every nonraven day).

There were of course the days Riko and the Master would be gone and he would have extra hours to himself, but if he wasn’t with Kevin then he was working on school. Kevin had told the Master the laptop was for school and exy and as much as Nathaniel hated to admit it, it mostly was. The tutors he’s had for the past year were–in his own words–some of the most stuck up, condescending, useless wastes of space he had ever met. Truly.

They must have gotten their degrees in hell because no one on this earth would ever award such genuine uselessness with an academic degree. Though Nathaniel had to amend, they were extremely neglectful on purpose. The Master must have hand selected them himself because–true to Raven standard–they were eager to see Nathaniel fail and punish him. 

They purposefully didn’t teach him the things they tested him on then punished him for his unremarkable scores. Not only that, but they reported his shortcomings to the Master who would deal his own punishments before or after training. Nothing aggravated him more than when everyone tried to belittle him so he didn’t mind losing a little sleep to try and better himself.

Kevin thought he was negligent of his work because he and Riko had semi-decent tutors who were still harsh, but actually taught them what they needed to know. And because perfect Kevin was even perfecter at school, he didn’t have bad grades to get punished for.

Nathaniel felt it extremely unfair, but over a year in the nest has taught him that nothing in his life will ever be fair. So, like always, he sucked it up and adapted. And now he has a computer that will make it ten times easier. He was mostly able to find youtube videos over his curriculum and use it to help with homework. 

He felt like a fucking genius the first time his teacher, Georgina, asked him a question expecting him not to know the answer. She stuck up her wrinkly nose and stared at him for a solid thirty seconds when he got it right. Naturally he answered the next question wrong, wiping the smug smile off his face, but it was still a good moment. 

Keeping up with maths was easy enough, but history and science were hell. History bored the hell out of him, especially because he often had to listen to Kevin ramble on about it. Science was just… hard. And it felt very unimportant. It was what he had to spend the most extra time on at night and it was still his worst subject. 

The only one he had been half decent at before was his Japanese lessons. The Master insisted he learn to speak it when he moved in because Kevin and Riko had been studying it for years. At first he hated it because the only other times he’d been subjected to the language was when the Master was yelling. 

After a few weeks, he decided it was actually kind of cool and he wasn’t half bad. It took longer than he’d have liked but eventually he and Kevin would have conversations at night in Japanese to practice. Kevin could sometimes be as corrective as Georgina, but at least he didn’t hit him with a ruler. 

It was harder to find Japanese lessons online that he didn’t have to pay for, but sometimes he watched exy matches with the Japanese announcers, those were the most important words anyway. 

At first he didn’t think he could go on like this forever. He thought, with the little sleep he had, and the beatings he was taking that he was going to go to sleep one night and never wake up again. Instead, he found he was actually starting to thrive. With less sleep, he had to rely on his adrenaline to keep him up during practice and it was like magic. He had never touched drugs, but he imagined it was something similar to that—or perhaps drinking an energy drink.

He was more alert and it didn’t hurt as much when Riko hit him. He was fast, undeniably so, and often felt like he could run forever. It eased some of the pain he’d have from sore muscles and bruises too. As long as he ignored his hands shaking there was virtually nothing wrong with him. Then each night when his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light and ready to do it all again. 

He could feel himself improving, too. He really was going to be the best backliner the Ravens will have ever had. He was going to be the best backliner in Class I exy period. Even Kevin has been giving a generous amount of approving nods–two–and only twenty five pointers–instead of thirty six–at practice. 

Nathaniel was a machine and he wasn’t slowing down–he wouldn’t slow down. He refused to. Nothing was going to stop him.

Chapter Text

“Nathaniel’s going back to Baltimore.”

Kevin choked on his water, coughing up a lung before he could get his voice to work. “What?”

“Nathaniel’s going back to Baltimore.” Riko repeated slowly as if speaking to a child. 

“No way.” Kevin wiped his mouth, “He can’t.”

His heart was beating fast. He knew Nathaniel hated his home, he didn’t talk about it, but some things were obvious. His scars… His father’s business with the Moriyamas…They weren’t fun to think about so they let it all just fade to the back. Exy was the most important thing to them and they had a silent agreement to ignore all the other stuff, it wasn’t like they could change it anyway.

“The Master told me so.” Riko said with a careless shrug. Kevin knew that meant he overheard the Master telling someone else. Riko was always eavesdropping on his conversations to try and learn something new. He normally didn’t share with Kevin, though. 

“We can’t let him go.” Kevin looked around frantically as if a solution was just out of reach.

Riko scoffed, “Like you can stop it.” 

“Riko, please.” Kevin pleaded. “Talk to the Master, tell him he can’t go.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” Riko rolled his eyes and Kevin was hit with a wave of nausea. 

“But he’s ours. He’s perfect court.” Kevin said indignantly. “We can’t let him leave. You’re the one who marked him.”

“He’s not that good anyway." Riko dusted off his shirt. "Anyone can be replaced.”

“You claimed him!” Kevin was raising his voice now. “He can’t be replaced, he needs to stay!”

“Oh calm down!” Riko got in Kevin’s face then. “He’ll be back, okay? Just shut the hell up about it!”

It hit Kevin, then, that everything he just said Riko had already thought of. Riko would have tried to make Nathaniel stay because Nathaniel did belong with them. Riko had failed. He wouldn’t let him go if he had a choice and if not even Riko could keep Nathaniel here…

“How long will he be gone?” Kevin asked, his voice oddly strained. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Riko backed away. “He’ll get a little vacation then be back for when we start up practices with the Ravens.”

“We’re practicing with the Ravens?” Kevin asked excitedly, then cringed because he shouldn't be excited right now.

“Obviously.” Riko leaned against his bed and crossed his arms. "I said I would get us in and I did. We’ll start with them in summer before school and the fall season starts.”

That was still a few months away, but he supposed a ticket in was a ticket in. But Nathaniel…

“So Nathaniel will still be with us for that? He’ll join the Ravens too?”

“Like I said, he won’t be gone long.”

“When does he leave?”

“June.”

Kevin nodded and fiddled with his shirt; he didn’t want Nathaniel to leave but at least it would be before the beginning of the term. It was always hard leaving the nest for more than one day at a time because they operated on a different schedule. Maybe he would just be gone for a weekend and then he’d have at least a month to get back into the Raven routine.

“Oh, and he doesn’t know yet,” Riko gave a devilish grin, “and you can’t tell him.”

Kevin froze, “Why not?”

“It’s a secret, duh.”

“But he’ll be the one leaving, surely they’ll tell him.”

“They won’t. And neither will you.” Riko gave him a nasty look. “Understand?”

Kevin did not understand. He was fine not telling Nathaniel about the parties, but not telling him about this seemed wrong. “I think we should tell him.”

Riko sighed. “If you tell him he’ll only run. And then he’ll end up dead.”

Kevin felt their air leave his lungs. Nathaniel wasn’t stupid enough to run away, was he? But if he did…if he tried…the Moriyamas would kill him. His father might kill him. 

“Stop making this a big deal. You talk, Nathaniel dies, it’ll be your fault. Nothing more to it.”

Kevin swallowed. He hated it, but Riko was right. “Okay.”

“Now that that’s settled, let’s go to the court.”

Riko stood and dressed in the all black training set they all had and Kevin sluggishly followed suit. He had a feeling Riko told him about Nathaniel’s departure because he wanted him to feel guilty about the secret.

Perhaps if Kevin convinced himself that he really wasn’t telling Nathaniel in order to protect him then he wouldn’t feel so weird about it. 

It was the same way he wanted to protect him from the parties…wasn’t it? He was looking out for him. Some things were better left unsaid. Riko gave him a smug look as he locked the door behind him and Kevin pursed his lips. 

Nathaniel was already at the court, he was passing a ball to himself against the wall and the thumps were getting faster and faster. He saw them approach and paused. When he walked over, Kevin could see how bloodshot his eyes were and frowned. 

If he didn’t know any better he would think Nathaniel was on something based on how much energy he seemed to have these days, but he did know better. Nathaniel was too smart to touch anything that could hurt his chances at playing exy. Drugs would get him removed from the nest instantly.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Kevin asked, trying not to sound too overbearing.

“Dunno,” Nathaniel shrugged. 

“You look like a wreck,” Kevin grimaced, looking him up and down. Along with his bloodshot eyes, he was riddled with bruises. He had one on his cheekbone, in addition to his half-healed black eye. His arms had bruises in the shape of handprints and his legs had bands from getting smacked with a racquet over and over. 

And on top of all that he was acting like none of it was there at all. 

“Jesus, I’d hate to be your mirror,” Riko said with a hint of disgust and amusement. 

“S’not so bad.” Nathaniel said, concentrating on his racquet which he was trying to balance on his palm. They weren’t wearing their full gear because it was only the three of them so they mostly practiced footwork, target precision, and some of the other Raven drills they would be required to know. 

Riko threw an exy ball at Nathaniel’s racquet, knocking it off balance and when Nathaniel turned to curse at him, Riko threw another at his stomach. Nathaniel moved so it hit his hand, and he shook it out with a scowl. 

“Play times over, kid.” Riko taunted.

“I’m not a kid.” Nathaniel grumbled, picking up his racquet.

“You sure look and act like one.” 

“And you sure look and act like a–”

“Okay! Okay!” Kevin interrupted, slapping his palm over Nathaniel’s mouth. “Time to get started, yeah?”

Riko wore a smug smile and for a second Kevin wondered if he was going to tell Nathaniel about Baltimore out of spite. 

They started up their first drill and since he and Riko were already great at it, Kevin tried to gently coach Nathaniel.

“If you paid any attention to what I just showed you then you might have a chance of hitting the damn target.”

“I did pay attention.” Nathaniel argued. “I paid such good attention I even saw your noodle arms shake after your swing through.”

“I do not have noodle arms!” Kevin cried indignantly as he fought hard not to look at his arms, and fought even harder not to throttle Nathaniel. 

“Just hit him already,” Riko said, sounding bored.

“I’m not going to hit him just because he’s an ungrateful brat who doesn’t know how to play exy.”

“Sounds like a perfect reason to hit him.”

“I know how to play exy!” Nathaniel shouted, then added as an afterthought, “And I’m not an ungrateful brat.”

“Then do as I say!”

“Say something interesting for once in yo–”

Nathaniel’s words were cut off as Riko swung his racquet at his legs and swiped his feet out from under him. His back hit the ground and he let out an oomph. Kevin was still fuming, but he felt slightly bad at the sight. Nathaniel stared at the ceiling and Riko’s lip curled as he looked down on him.

“You are the most annoying child I’ve ever had the displeasure of being around.”

Nathaniel wheezed.

“If you do not shut the fuck up and do this drill properly I’m going to tell all the Ravens you were the one who put meal worms in the pasta last week. 

Kevin never asked Nathaniel if he was the one who pulled that prank, because just the idea of considering him gave Kevin a heart attack. 

It was obviously not him, the Ravens did foul stuff all the time, even to each other. Nathaniel would have no means of getting meal worms or of breaking into the kitchen. It was definitely not him. 

But if the Ravens thought it was…they would beat him senseless. Some of them didn’t even notice until after a couple bites. Kevin gagged at the thought, he was very grateful he had not been in the cafeteria when this happened and only heard about it much later. 

“I didn’t do shit.” Nathaniel said, once he got his breath back.

“You’re not doing shit right now either, that’s the problem. Get up sloth, we came here to train.”

Nathaniel shuffled to his feet and picked up his racquet. He took the shot he’d been fucking up for the past half hour and nailed it. 

“You were fucking it up on purpose?” Kevin accused, and Nathaniel gave him an innocent shrug. Kevin was so pissed, he went to collect stray balls to cool off. He cursed each one he picked up as if they would send the message back to Nathaniel.

When he made it back to Nathaniel and Riko, Nathaniel gave him a bloody smile and a thumbs up. 

Kevin dropped the bucket of balls, “What happened to you?”

Nathaniel sucked the blood off his teeth and shrugged as if he’d forgotten. Kevin didn’t really need to ask, though. Riko was the only other person here and he was wearing a scowl that could bring on another ice age.

“I told him if he didn’t shut his mouth I’d shut it for him.” Riko said coolly.

“I left you two alone for one second,” Kevin mumbled to himself, then reset their drill. Kevin was often annoyed with Nathaniel during practice, but he found himself more annoyed then.

Perhaps it was because they would be practicing with the Ravens soon and there would be absolutely no place for his antics. If the Ravens didn’t slaughter him, then the Master surely would. He knew Nathaniel had it in him to be a good player, but he needed to get serious. 

He stopped his antics after Riko slapped him upside the head two more times, but he still mouthed off for the rest of practice. Kevin was sure the only reason Riko didn’t hurt him worse was because he knew he was going to Baltimore. 

After calling it a night, Nathaniel left as soon as everything was put away. He seemed eager to get back to his room and Kevin could only hope he was going to go straight to bed and get some sleep.

Chapter Text

If there was one thing Nathaniel was good at, it was finding trouble. He was already in the mood to stir some up because the Ravens had thrown him in a trashcan earlier when they caught him alone in the halls. Now, as he lay in bed unable to sleep, he plotted. 

Ten minutes later he snuck down the hall and knocked on Kevin’s door. 

Kevin opened the door with a surprised expression, but Nathaniel pushed past him into the room.

“Why are you here?” Riko scrunched his face with disgust, and Nathaniel dutifully ignored it. Kevin closed the door and came to stand beside Riko.

“We’re breaking out.” Nathaniel grinned.

Kevin’s face turned pale and he shared a look with Riko.

“Fuck off, Nathaniel or I’ll skin you alive.”

“What, don’t tell me you’re too chicken.” Nathaniel taunted. Riko jumped forward, but Kevin pulled him back.

“I’m not a fucking chicken.” He snapped. 

“Prove it. We’re going out.”

“Like hell we are!” Kevin cried, eyes wide.

“Out where?” Riko asked.

“Dunno. Does it matter?” Nathaniel shrugged. “Unless you think you’ll get us caught or something.”

“We’re not supposed to leave.” Kevin hissed. 

“Exactly.” Nathaniel sighed as if it was obvious, “That’s the whole point.”

Riko eyed Nathaniel with something Nathaniel assumed was interest. “Okay.”

“Yes!” Nathaniel cheered at the same time Kevin said, “No!”

Riko slapped the back of Kevin’s head and they listened as Nathaniel told them the plan. There wasn’t much of a plan, it was generally just to be quiet until they made it outside then run like hell. 

“That’s not a plan!” Kevin cried. 

“It’ll work,” Nathaniel promised.

“What about the doors?”

“They won’t be locked.” Riko said, tapping his chin. “No one tries to leave unless it’s for class.”

“That’s because we shouldn’t try to leave!” Kevin argued.

“Come on, we should go now.” Nathaniel encouraged before Riko could change his mind. 

“You can’t wear that,” Riko grimaced, looking him up and down. Nathaniel was wearing a black cotton shirt and Black sweatpants and gym shoes. It was what he wore to bed, well except the shoes.

Riko told Nathaniel exactly what outfit to put on–black jeans, black long sleeve shirt, and their plain black jackets that don’t have any Raven logos on them. Five minutes later he met them in the hall. Their outfits were similar, but not exactly the same. It was like they owned the same things, but the more expensive versions of them. Nathaniel didn’t really care about that though.

The plan–or lack thereof–was flawless. There was no one in the halls, everyone was in their rooms, likely sleeping. The door wasn’t locked, like Riko said. It was too easy, and Nathaniel wondered why he hadn’t thought to do this sooner. Perhaps because he might get killed if he was caught… Nothing too bad could happen when Riko was with him though, at least he didn’t think.

When they were out of the nest, they realized it wasn’t actually nighttime in the nonraven day. There was still daylight, but it was definitely getting closer to evening. 

They squinted as their eyes adjusted and then Nathaniel took off in the direction down the main road. Nathaniel actually did have a destination in mind, a candy store a few blocks away, but he knew Riko would never agree if he said that’s where they were going.

He kept bounding ahead and had to double back or wait for them to catch up. Riko walked at his own unbothered pace and Kevin trudged along behind him.

When they made it to the plaza that held the candy store, Nathaniel ran inside before Riko could protest. The walls were lined with colorful packaging and there were barrels of individually wrapped pieces. It was the best thing Nathaniel had ever seen.

Riko walked in a second later with a scowl and Kevin looked around nervously as if the Master would jump out of a barrel of caramels. The shop owner kept a watchful eye on them the whole time they were there, with good reason. Nathaniel didn’t have any money, but he was keen to point out all the weird flavors of stuff he’d like to try one day. There were some free samples he helped himself too, but not all of them tasted good and he spit a few out.

The three of them were standing at the back where there was a small ice cream parlor watching one of the workers make a swirled cone that was taller than Nathaniel thought possible. A man at the counter paid for it then handed it to his kid, who was grabbing at his pants. Nathaniel knew what was going to happen before it did and flinched. The little boy had the cone for a second before the thing toppled over and splatted on the ground. 

The boy burst into tears and Nathaniel waited for the boy’s father to hit him. That had to be an expensive ice cream he just wasted, not to mention he was bursting everyone’s ear drums with his yowling.

But the father just kneeled down and scooped the boy into his arms, asking the worker to make another. Nathaniel, Kevin, and Riko stood side by side as they watched the display in silence. The man comforted the kid until he stopped crying, then handed him his new ice cream in a bowl this time. He made to clean up the mess, but the worker waved him off with a smile. He gave him a twenty and then picked up his kid again, kissing the top of his head, then they were gone.

“Let’s get out of here.” Riko pushed for them to head to the exit. Kevin and Nathaniel followed silently. 

Riko was leading now and he stopped at the door two stores over. Nathaniel didn’t even know what it was before Riko was pushing them inside.

Beastie Boy’s Intergalactic was playing on the speakers, louder than Nathaniel had ever heard store music be played. It was jarring, but he couldn’t stop a grin from breaking out on his face. Sometimes before league games, one of the boys would play music on a speaker to get them hyped up and this was a common one. It was a cool song, and this was the coolest place he’d ever seen. 

There were posters lining all of the walls, he didn’t recognize a lot of the people or characters, but there were some superheroes he knew and a couple of the best exy players. There were some gnarly looking animals and skulls surrounded by flowers or knives.

It smelled like cigarette smoke which wasn’t so bad, but it also kind of smelled like a skunk which was more foul. It took Nathaniel a second to realize that a lot of people were staring at them. 

There was a huge man at the front desk, which was covered in photos of half naked women. He snapped his fingers to draw their eyes away and gave them a hard look. His eyebrows, nose, and ears were pierced and when he spoke, Nathaniel saw a gem on his tongue too.

“Candy stores next door,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“We know.” Nathaniel stuck his blue tongue out like he was a rockstar before Riko slapped the back of his head. The man wore an amused expression and Riko stepped up to the desk.

“We need these to be permanent." he said, wiping his thumb over the one on his cheek.

“Nice try, kid. You have to be eighteen.” 

Riko reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of cash and threw it on top of the posters of half naked women. The man arched a single eyebrow and Riko waited him out. 

Nathaniel was shocked at what Riko was asking, but he also wished he knew he had money back at the candy store–though he probably wouldn’t have bought him anything anyway. He wondered if the guy was going to take the bribe and if they really were about to get tattooed. The man’s eyes didn’t leave Riko’s as he called over his shoulder, “Jenna!”

A moment later a short woman with shorter hair–that was also blue–came around the corner. She had tattoos all down her arm and almost as many piercings as the big guy. 

“Well, did a school bus break down outside or something?” 

Riko clenched his jaw and turned to look her way. When she saw his cheek there was a flash of surprise that she masked easily enough. She was an exy fan, then.

“They want them permanent.” The first guy said. 

“They’re babies.” She frowned.

“We’re all old enough,” Riko lied and Jenna gave a pointed look at Nathaniel. “He’s hit a growth stunt.”

Another man with a mohawk came over, “Woah, you rob a bank or something?”

“Or something,” Riko said coolly. “Can you do it or not?”

“I’ll do it!” The new guy chirped eagerly then gestured towards the cash. “Save me a piece of that.”

Nathaniel grinned and chanced a look at Kevin. His face was so pale he looked like he was going to pass out. He was probably hoping they would be turned away.

“Fine,” the first guy said, gathering the cash. “We’re keeping the change.”

Riko looked him up and down, “Figures.”

The third guy burst out laughing, “I’ll do his.”

“I got this one,” Nathaniel blushed as Jenna wrapped her arm around his shoulder. “I like his hair. Fire and water.” 

“No,” Riko cut in icily, grabbing Nathaniel’s arm in a harsh hold and pulling him free. “You’ll do mine.”

“Aw I think he’s got a crush on you Jen," The big guy teased. "Rod, you better watch your back.”

“No, I just don’t trust a guy with a mohawk to permanently mark my face.” Riko snarked.

Rod gasped in mock offense then rubbed his hand along the shaved side of his head. “Suit yourself, I get paid either way.”

Nathaniel did not have any qualms letting Rod be the one to tattoo him. He thought his mohawk was sick and wished he didn’t have any scars on his head because he really wanted to have one too. He also thought it would be best that Kevin, who still hadn’t said anything, went with the more responsible looking guy. 

Kevin and Nathaniel sat next to each other while Riko picked out the font style and design he wanted them to have. Nathaniel started scrubbing the sharpie off Kevin’s face, but Kevin slapped his hand away. “You’ll destroy my skin being so rough like that.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes, but let Kevin take the wipe and do it himself. After his was gone, Kevin started wiping Nathaniel’s own number off and he had to admit he was being more gentle than Nathaniel would have been. He could tell as Kevin was swiping that he was nervous and Nathaniel felt like he should try to comfort him.

 He nudged his side, “It was gonna happen eventually right? Aren’t you excited?”

“We’re getting tattoos on our face,” Kevin said anxiously, then groaned, “We never should have left the nest.”

“It’s not going to hurt that bad.” Nathaniel offered, pulling out a couple pieces of chocolates and candies he nicked from next door, “Here. Dark chocolate.”

Kevin’s eyebrows shot up then narrowed in suspicion. “Did you steal those?”

Nathaniel shrugged, popping a sourhead into his mouth. “They had a whole bucket of ‘em. They didn’t need these.”

Kevin sighed, but took the dark chocolate anyway. A minute later they were being separated into different cubbies, Nathaniel following Rod and Kevin staying with the guy whose name they figured out was Cab–or at least that’s what they called him.

Rod’s mohawk was bleach blonde and he had black piercings in his ears and nose. He looked cool as fuck and Nathaniel couldn’t stop admiring his punk look as he took his seat on the fancy chair. His clothes were black, but it wasn’t like how the Ravens wore all black, it was cooler somehow.

Another song had started playing and Rod was nodding his head and singing along as he prepared the area. He smirked at Nathaniel when he caught him staring, “You like the song?”

Nathaniel shrugged. “Dunno if I’ve heard this one.”

“Figures,” He grinned and wiped down his table. 

“Well what’s it called,” Nathaniel asked, feeling stupid for not even knowing the name when Rod knew almost all of the lyrics. 

“Girls by Beastie Boys,” Rod smiled, “You heard of them, or you live under a rock?”

 Nathaniel narrowed his eyes, “I know who they are.” He wasn’t dumb, music just wasn’t something he always had time for. 

“Alright, Beastie Boy,” Rod put his hands up in surrender and moved to stand in front of where he was laying back. “You’re not gonna, like, pass out on me, are you?”

“No,” Nathaniel said, somewhat offended.

“Tough guy,” He grinned cheekily and brought the machine up to his face and Nathaniel held his breath as he got started. 

The next song that played was Fight For Your Right which was one Nathaniel had heard before. Every time the chorus came around, Rod stopped working to belt the lyrics and slap the table to the beat. The first time he did it, Nathaniel was startled, but the second time had him laughing pretty hard.

He could distantly hear the other workers joining in from their work areas too as if they did this all the time.

Rod seemed to know almost all of the words to this song too and when the chorus came up again he passed an invisible microphone to Nathaniel. 

Nathaniel sat up, grinning widely as he screamed with him.

“You gotta fight!”

Bam. Bam. 

“For your right!”

Nathaniel started headbanging with Rod.

“To parrrrtayyyyy.”

Rod was laughing his ass off by the time the song wrapped up, “You’re not too bad, kid.”

Nathaniel ignored being called a kid because he was having too much fun. “Not too bad yourself, gramps.”

Rod put his hand over his heart and gasped in mock offense. “Gramps? I’m twenty-five!”

“Could have fooled me with the white hair.” 

“Oh you are a menace,” Rod laughed, “Sit back, I’m not even halfway done.”

Nathaniel did what he asked and had a hard time getting the smile off his face. Rod had to wait because it was wrinkling his cheeks, but it was hard when Rod was still singing and tapping along to the next song. A minute later, he got his smile to go down and Rod got back to work. After he did the outline, he pulled a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it up.

“You mind?” He asked Nathaniel, but he was already blowing smoke in his direction.

Nathaniel shook his head and said, “nah,” in his most chill voice.

Rod smiled around the cigarette, took another drag, then held it out to Nathaniel. Nathaniel had never smoked a cigarette before, but his mother had one occasionally. She would beat him senseless if she saw him in a tattoo shop smoking a cigarette, but she was dead. 

Nathaniel took the cigarette as nonchalantly as he could and sucked on the end. Rod watched with a bemused expression that turned into a chuckle as Nathaniel broke into a fit of coughs.

“First time?”

“No,” Nathaniel wheezed, handing the cigarette back.

“Alright, lemme finish up.”

He did, and when Rod offered Nathaniel a mirror to look at the finished piece he refused. Rod shrugged, putting a bandage over it quickly and led him back to the main lobby. Kevin was sitting in a chair by the door with a matching bandage over his cheek, looking like he was two seconds from bolting out the door, with or without them. 

“That one pass out?” Cab asked.

“Nah, he’s chill.” Rod replied and Nathaniel tried not to grin. 

“Where’s Riko?” Kevin asked, making his eagerness to leave even more obvious.

Riko walked in then, with Jenna and she was grinning mischievously. Nathaniel realized why a second later. Riko had a bandage over his cheek, but he also had two black studs in his ears. 

“No way!” Nathaniel laughed, running over to get a closer look but Riko shoved him off.

“Doesn’t he look great?” Jenna asked, siddling up next to Rod.

“Riko, what have you done?” Kevin looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Stop being a pussy Kev,” Riko ripped the bandage off Nathaniel’s cheek and gripped his chin as he examined the number. He gave an approving nod then walked over to do the same to Kevin.

Riko went back to the front desk and handed Cab another couple hundred as a tip and Nathaniel tossed Rod a piece of chocolate with a wink. Rod caught it easily and tried not to laugh as he nodded his thanks. “Come back anytime, Beastie.”

Riko gestured for them to head out and Nathaniel was bouncing on the balls of his feet as they made their way back to the nest. Kevin was quiet and Riko kept fiddling with his new earrings. Kevin was right, the Master was totally going to kill him for those, but they were still sick as fuck. Nathaniel would have asked for some too if he knew it was an option. 

It was dusk now, and it was a lot easier to sneak back into the nest. They would have to be up in an hour so it was silly to try and go to sleep, but they said they would try anyway. Nathaniel thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep because he was so hyped up from sneaking out, but he was out the second his head hit his pillow.

Chapter Text

Riko left training with a limp after the Master saw what he did to his ears. It wasn’t anything serious, the Master would never risk that, but for a couple days he favored his right leg. The Master had also dealt punishments to Kevin and Nathaniel. Partly because they had very obviously left the nest without permission, and partly because of what they did when they snuck out.

Nathaniel’s broken nose was the only other real injury and when it turned half his face purple, he had to reassure Kevin that he had broken it before and that it would be fine. Kevin was sporting some nasty bruises, but he knew he couldn’t complain when they had it so much worse. 

Riko didn’t regret the tattoos at all, but he never second guessed his decisions. Nathaniel talked more about how cool the place was than he did the new and permanent addition to his face. He had been trying to convince Kevin and Riko to sneak out again but this time they were united in their refusal. 

Kevin didn’t want to risk sneaking out again and he definitely didn’t want to go back to that horrid place. The guy who did his tattoo was intimidating and Kevin had to sit on his own hands so he wouldn’t see them shake. He was nice enough, he didn’t even make Kevin feel like a stupid kid, but it was still overwhelming. 

Kevin was adamant that they keep their tattoos clean and healthy because he didn’t want any infections on his face. Riko agreed easily enough, but Kevin had to practically force Nathaniel to sit still so he could clean his. 

The tattoos didn’t go unnoticed by the Ravens, either. A few people were impressed they were able to get them at all considering their age. Some gave nods of approval–not that they needed their approval–in hopes of getting a number themselves one day. The ones who didn’t believe in the cause looked at them with disgust and made comments about them being conceited wannabes.

Kevin didn’t hear much negative comments because he was always with Riko and they didn’t dare to say anything around him, but Nathaniel filled him in on it when he was guarding him in training. 

Kevin was slightly worried someone was going to fuck up Nathaniel’s tattoo if they caught him alone, but then he realized he should be more worried about what his father might do. 

Kevin had stopped so suddenly when he had the realization that Riko had to shove him forward to keep him walking. They were just about to enter the cafeteria, but Kevin waited to go in so he could say what he needed to in private. 

“Did you do it on purpose?” Kevin asked, feeling nauseous.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Riko gave him a curious look.

“The tattoos,” Kevin swallowed the lump in his throat. “He’s going to go to his father with it.”

“So?” Riko asked, but it was obvious he knew what the problem would be. 

“What if he…gets mad at him?” 

“Then he gets mad.” Riko shrugged, like it was no big deal. “Nathaniel’s Moriyama property now. We can do whatever we want with him. His father doesn’t get a say.”

But if Nathaniel’s father didn’t get a say, then how come he was going back at all? And even if he didn’t get a say in what they do, he could still punish him for it. Was this Riko’s retaliation against them? A way to permanently claim Nathaniel and a fuck you to whoever told him he couldn’t keep him here. 

Maybe he was being dramatic, but Kevin felt the need to ask, “He’s going to come back, right?”

“I wouldn’t have tattooed him if I didn’t think he was coming back.” Riko looked through the entryway where Ravens were eating. “Now just shut up about it before someone overhears you.” 

Kevin chewed on his lip. He would come back, that was all that mattered, wasn’t it? He wasn’t going to stay away forever; he wasn’t going to…die. He still wished he did more to protest the tattoos and was pissed that Riko had gotten them to do it in the first place.

“And you’re sure there’s nothing you could do to get him to stay?” Kevin asked. "Could you try talking to the Master again-"

“I didn't try anything. If I wanted him to stay then he would, but I don’t,” Riko snapped, walking back towards Kevin. “He’s annoying. Your infatuation with him disgusts me."

Kevin scowled. "I'm not-"

"I’ll be glad to be rid of the runt." Riko hissed. "His father can kill him for all I care.”

“Shut up!” Kevin screamed, breathing heavily.

Riko stood an inch away from him and looked him dead in the eyes. “I hope he dies.”

Kevin shoved Riko back and for a second, they just stared at each other with cold eyes. 

Then Riko lunged. Kevin’s back hit the wall and his head thumped making him wince. He tried to shove Riko off, but Riko had a death grip on his arms and threw him to the ground. He was on top of him a moment later and Kevin managed to use his leverage against the wall to roll them over until they were tumbling across the floor. Kevin got a few hits in, Riko got more. 

“Stop!” The Master’s cold voice had them both freezing, the anger in their eyes morphing to fear. Riko was still on top of Kevin and Kevin watched him visibly swallow. All of their fury dissipated as a sense of foreboding lingered between them, then Riko jumped up. For a second it looked like he was going to offer his hand to help Kevin, but then he turned to face the Master and Kevin scrambled to his feet. 

There were Ravens in the hall, watching. Not many, but more than enough for them to know they fucked up. Kevin and Riko kept their heads bowed in deference, but Kevin was sure if he looked up, the Ravens would be wearing smug expressions. 

“My office,” The Master spat, and Kevin and Riko marched down the hall in silence. 

The Master shut the door behind him gently but they both flinched at the sound of the latch. He moved to stand in front of them, but they still didn’t look up. 

“What is the meaning of this?” Kevin could hear the sneer in his voice.

They both remained silent. 

“You think you can embarrass yourselves in front of your lessers!” He screamed, then backhanded Riko.

“You think you can embarrass me!” Kevin was next.

“Tell me!” He roared, but they stayed quiet. 

He pulled out his cane and hit them again. And again. Demanding between each swing that they tell him. Kevin knew it would only be worse if they spoke. Riko knew too. 

So, they stayed quiet. And the Master kept swinging. 

Chapter Text

Kevin and Riko walked back to their room in silence with only their pain to accompany them. When they were locked inside, Riko wordlessly went to his closet and pulled out a bottle of vodka. He flicked the cap off and took a long drink. 

Kevin watched his throat bob but didn’t say anything. He was too tired to think of an admonishment. Riko wiped his mouth and held the bottle out without looking at Kevin. 

The only times Kevin really drank were when they were going to parties or having fun. He wasn’t sure why Riko was drinking now when they definitely weren’t having fun. 

But Kevin was weary and didn’t want to overthink it and start another fight. He took the bottle from Riko’s outstretched hand and took a long drink for himself. They didn’t say anything for the rest of the night, passing the bottle between each other every so often.

When it was almost halfway gone, Kevin had wanted to say something. He wanted to apologize, though he wasn't sure what for. He wanted to get mad at Riko, though they both already suffered enough. He wanted to promise Riko he would never fight with him again, but it would be a lie. 

So Kevin said nothing at all. And Riko was content to let the silence eat the time.

When the bottle was over halfway gone, Kevin could no longer feel the aches and pains they walked into the room with. He almost smiled at the numbness taking over. What a cure this was, when hours ago he was in so much pain he could barely think. 

He wanted to ask Riko if he felt it too, if that’s why he had the brilliant idea to pull the vodka out. Surely he did, because Kevin knew Riko was taking longer drinks than he was.

But when Kevin looked at Riko’s face, he didn’t look any lighter than he had when they first came in. He stared ahead with a stoic expression. Perhaps, Kevin thought, it numbed Riko’s mind the way it numbed Kevin’s body.

Kevin’s stomach rumbled and he realized they had never made it to the cafeteria to eat dinner. He considered going then, but took another drink instead. It was late anyway, there wouldn’t be any hot food out.

When Riko passed the bottle to Kevin for the last time, he climbed into bed, facing the wall. Kevin turned out the lights and got into his own bed, but he kept drinking until sleep took him under. 

The next morning, Kevin didn’t wake up until it was almost time for training. He wasn’t sure where the bottle went, but it was gone. Riko was gone as well. He changed for practice and found him already on the court. 

Kevin was slightly offended Riko hadn’t woken him up and left without him, but he didn’t want to pick another fight when they were both sore from last night. Kevin and Riko’s bruises were hidden under their gear, but they both knew they were there. Not to mention the small headache Kevin had from the vodka. 

Kevin gave Riko a small nod as he started stretching and Riko returned it. Riko started passing to himself against the wall and when Nathaniel showed up he started passing against the door. 

Nathaniel waited for him to stop so he could come in, but Riko’s throws were only getting harder and faster. Riko hit the same spot every time, right in front of Nathaniel's face. Kevin watched, and listened to the loud thunk thunk thunk.

Nathaniel narrowed his eyes and looked to Kevin for help. 

“He needs to come in,” Kevin said, somewhat lamely. Riko would already know Nathaniel wanted in.

Riko ignored him and kept up his passing. Nathaniel looked like he was counting the seconds, timing it so he could slip in without getting hit.

Riko was close enough to the wall and throwing hard enough that Nathaniel would have to be quick to make it. But what other choice did he have? Riko wasn’t slowing down, all of his muscles flexing as he continued the drill.

Kevin stepped forward just as Nathaniel made his move. He unlocked and slipped through the door just after the ball hit and was out of the way before it was back in Riko’s net. 

Riko caught the ball and twisted his arm back, throwing it with full body force at where Nathaniel stood off to the side. Nathaniel clearly wasn’t expecting Riko to change targets and the ball hit him in the stomach. 

Nathaniel bent over with a grunt, clutching his middle. 

“Riko!” Kevin gasped, stepping forward. 

Riko examined his racquet, cleaning the end. “He broke my concentration.”

Kevin ignored him and went over to Nathaniel, but Nathaniel was waving him off. 

“Don’t worry, Kevin. It didn’t hurt too bad.” Nathaniel assured, though the hitch in his voice betrayed him. “Riko’s not strong enough to do any real damage.”

Riko charged for Nathaniel and tackled him to the ground. Kevin tried to interfere, but they were tumbling around and he didn’t want to get hit by flailing limbs. He was grateful they were both wearing their padding already so they weren’t able to swing as easily. 

The door opened and they both scrambled up as the Master walked in. Kevin thought the Master was going to scream and punish them the way he did last night, but he ignored the scene completely. 

Nathaniel brushed his hair out of his face and flexed his jaw which told Kevin that Riko must have gotten a good hit in. They were sent to run their warm up laps and Kevin made sure to stay in between them. 

After playing mediator all practice, which was only effective sixty percent of the time, Kevin was ready to go straight to bed. His headache from the alcohol had been quickly replaced by a headache from Nathaniel’s voice. 

But, Riko was getting ready to leave with the Master and as much as he wanted space, he didn’t want to waste his time with Nathaniel either. So an hour and half later, he knocked on Nathaniel's door.

Nathaniel’s hair was sticking up all over the place, still wet from his shower. He stepped to the side to let Kevin in and Kevin climbed onto his bed. 

“Make yourself at home,” Nathaniel muttered and Kevin dutifully ignored him. 

“Hey Nathaniel?” Kevin asked, fluffing up his pillow so it was more comfortable for his back. Nathaniel sat at the foot of his bed with an arched brow. Kevin wanted to broach the subject of his father, but chickened out at the last second. “Your hair is getting so long.” 

Nathaniel ran his hand through his wet hair. The sides covered the tops of his ears and the front was just past his eyebrows, any longer and it would be poking him in the eyes.  “Yeah, guess so.”

Kevin tried to think of how to offer, but Nathaniel beat him to it.

“You think you could like…cut it? Without fucking it up or anything…” 

He was scratching the back of his neck and Kevin grinned, hopping out of the bed. “I’ll go get my scissors.”

“Wait,” Nathaniel turned as he walked by, “I have some.”

“You don’t have the ones we need.” Kevin stated, “You’ll butcher your ends with regular scissors.”

Nathaniel flinched at the word butcher and Kevin pretended not to notice while making a mental note to not use that word again. He ran to his room and grabbed his comb and hair scissors as well as a couple hair products. 

Nathaniel watched him set the stuff down with a hesitant look. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“I’m not going to fuck it up,” Kevin promised, somewhat offended at the lack of faith. Kevin's hair always looked great. “Now sit down so I can do it while your hair is still wet.”

Nathaniel obeyed, sitting at his desk chair and Kevin stood behind him. He had to spray a lot of detangler to try and get the knots out, but for once Nathaniel was sitting still. 

“How short do you want it?” Kevin asked, generously not taking matters into his own hands and doing what he thought would look best.

“Do you think you could do a mohawk?”

Kevin snorted, “Fuck no.”

“Can you cut it all off?”

Kevin grimaced, “You want to be bald?”

Nathaniel sighed wearily. “Guess not. I don’t really care then.”

“You were so worried about me fucking it up, now you don’t care?”

“Just do whatever you want, I trust you.”

Kevin’s heart panged at that and he didn’t have a response. He kept combing through Nathaniel’s hair as he thought of what would look best. 

In the end, he just trimmed it all over, leaving enough for it to look shaggy, but not too long for it to be a nuisance.

He moved to stand in front of Nathaniel, gripping his chin and tilting his head this way and that to make sure it was even. He left it longer on the top, but still out of his eyes which was nice.

“Looks good,” Kevin admired his work and Nathaniel’s face turned red. “Do you want to see?”

“Glad that’s finished,” Nathaniel stood. “Let’s watch some exy.” 

Kevin stepped back with a shrug, “I’ll pull up a match, you have to clean up all this hair though.”

Nathaniel looked at the loose red hairs littering the floor and chair. For a moment he just stared at them, and Kevin didn’t know what he was looking for. 

“I can’t glue it back on,” Kevin said.

Nathaniel looked up and ran his hand through his hair a few times as if feeling it out. “Don’t want you to,” he murmured, then started sweeping the hair into a pile with his hands.

Kevin found his laptop and by the time Nathaniel was done, the game had loaded up.

“Grab your notebook, the backliner on this team made history during this game, I want you to take notes.”

“You’re turning exy into homework?” Nathaniel asked, repulsed. "Schools out y'know."

“Trust me, you’ll want to write down everything this guy does. You’ll learn a lot.”

Nathaniel grumbled but went and got a notebook and pencil anyway then sidled up next to Kevin. Kevin made sure Nathaniel was writing down things he deemed important, occasionally snatching the pencil and paper from his hands to write himself. 

After it finished, Kevin started to rewind it so they could watch the tape again. Nathaniel didn’t complain and Kevin knew they were in agreement about the backliner’s skill and trick plays.

Nathaniel practically pressed his nose to the screen when he knew something cool was about to happen and Kevin had to pull him back by his collar so he could see too. 

“You could be as good as him one day,” Kevin offered, thinking of how they could work on the skills in their next training session.

Nathaniel faced him with a cheeky grin. “I’m going to be better.”

Chapter Text

Nathaniel was finally invited along to one of the special events Riko, and sometimes Kevin, went to. Kevin had always bitched about the outings, saying they were boring and stupid, but Nathaniel was still curious. He had felt left out, and even though he likely would be bored out of his mind, at least it would make him feel better about being left out in the future.

He was also excited to get out of the nest. When the exy season had ended, he didn’t have any reason to leave, and the Master had been more aware of their whereabouts ever since they snuck out. 

The Master had told him it would be a dinner and his stomach grumbled just thinking about eating something other than what the cafeteria served. Maybe they would even get dessert.

He wasn’t sure what to wear–normally Riko or Kevin told him how to dress before any of their endeavors–and settled on the outfit Riko had picked out for him whenever they got their tattoos. Once he was ready, he realized he felt severely underdressed, a feeling he had never felt or considered before. 

Perhaps he was just nervous about making a good first impression on his first outing with the Master. He changed, this time into his formal wear. It was too similar to what he wore to his mother’s funeral and he frowned. 

His mother would probably say something posh like, he looked very dapper, if she were here. But she wasn’t, because she was dead.

He took the suit jacket off, figuring a dress shirt and slacks were nice enough. He ran his hand through his hair a couple times; it was a lot easier to deal with now that Kevin cut it. 

Kevin had bugged off about their tattoos and Nathaniel knew that meant they were fully healed. He ran his fingers over where he knew the mark was. He hadn’t seen it yet, maybe one day he would get the courage to take the sheet off his mirror and peek at it. He didn’t want to risk looking right then, in case it put him on edge and ruined his night out.

Tomorrow, he decided. Maybe he would ask Kevin for help.

He felt grown then, all dressed up and making what Kevin would call responsible life choices. 

They had finished training a few hours ago and he was still feeling energetic. He bounced up and down a few times, then stopped when his ankle threatened to give out. Riko had tripped him at yesterday's training and he twisted it.

He played just fine earlier, though and it would be a dull ache by tomorrow’s practice, he was sure. He was getting antsy waiting for Kevin to come and collect him, so he went and brushed his teeth. 

He ended up lying on the floor, staring at his ceiling, and when there was a knock on the door, he jumped up so fast he got a head rush. He was expecting Kevin, or even Riko, but it was the Master who stood at his door. Nathaniel bowed his head before he could get hit for not deferring. 

The Master turned and Nathaniel quickly shut his door and followed a few steps behind him. When they made it outside, there was a cab pulled up to the curb for them, the driver holding the door open and everything.

Nathaniel hopped in the car, feeling like royalty but paused when the door closed behind him and the locks clicked. The Master was looking down through the window and Nathaniel tried to open the door. 

This wasn’t right, a voice that sounded awfully like his mother’s said in his head. Riko and Kevin aren’t here. Where are they?

The driver got in the car and started to pull away from the curb. 

“Wait,” Nathaniel said, “We have to wait for Kevin.”

The driver ignored him. 

“Kevin and Riko were supposed to be coming too.” He started banging on the window as if the Master would hear, realize the mistake, and call him back. 

A few more seconds and the Master was out of sight. 

“I’m not supposed to be out alone,” Nathaniel tried again. “Take me back.”

He never would have ever thought he would be asking someone to take him back to the nest, but there was a knot in his stomach. Something was very, very wrong and he was very, very close to panicking.

“Be quiet and still Mister Wesninski.” 

Nathaniel flinched at the title. This was wrong. He knew, but he didn’t want to admit it. He knew but he couldn’t– 

“I think there’s been a mistake, please just take me back.” He said frantically, “Please.”

He didn’t respond and Nathaniel's last plea came out a croak as he saw the sign for the highway they were about to get on.

"But Kevin-" Nathaniel clawed at his hair. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." 

He suddenly felt very sick, and very hot. He tugged at his collar, yanking until the top button popped off. 

He scratched at his neck and his chest, trying to get air, that was there, but also wasn’t. He scrambled in the seat and tried to rip the door open, but it was locked. He tried to roll down the window, but that was locked too. He was trapped. 

He tried to knock on the glass between the front and back seat, but the man up front ignored him. He pressed his face against the window, letting the cool glass try and soothe him. It didn’t. 

He was breathing so hard, it fogged the glass, but he couldn’t stop. He felt like he was drowning and no matter how much air he sucked in, he was still deprived. 

He banged on the plexiglass and then on the windows. He brought his hand to his chest again, ripping open his shirt so he could clutch at his heart. He couldn’t tell if it was still beating or if he was dead. 

He pounded on his chest, but nothing was working. He couldn’t breathe.

But he was breathing. He was breathing so hard he was getting light-headed and it started to hurt, but he couldn’t stop. 

His head was ringing, and his eyes were fuzzy and then the world went black.

Chapter Text

July 2000

It was July and Nathaniel still hadn’t returned. In Raven days it felt like an eternity had passed. The last time Nathaniel had missed so much training was before he moved into the nest and Kevin had promised to never take him for granted again. Kevin realized, now that Nathaniel was gone again, he lied to himself. 

He had been really hoping he was only going to be gone a weekend, at most a week. A whole month seemed very dramatic. Just like last time, Kevin had no way to contact Nathaniel. He considered emailing him but he knew he didn’t have his computer. 

Perhaps the worst part was that he hadn’t even been able to say goodbye. He hadn't realized it was already June, and he didn’t realize Riko meant he would be leaving on the very first day of June. The last practice he had with Nathaniel happened to be late at night in nonraven hours and by midnight he was gone. 

Kevin had gone to his room to hang out, but he didn’t answer the door. He used his spare key to let himself in, but the room was empty. 

He walked around the nest for some time, checking his usual hiding spots and even got the courage to ask some of the Ravens if they had done something to him. 

The Ravens had roughed Kevin up a bit and when he returned to his room Riko had asked what happened. Then he laughed at him and told him Nathaniel had already gone to Baltimore. 

Kevin had planned on giving him one of his newer comics for the drive, so he wouldn’t be bored. He was too late. 

Without Nathaniel there, Riko got a lot more aggressive. Normally he could take his anger out on Nathaniel when they were on the court, and sometimes off the court, but now it seemed like he let it build up until he was so upset he hit Kevin for no reason at all. 

Kevin knew it was because Riko wasn’t big enough to take on any of the other Ravens and that he was the only person in the nest Riko could pick a fight with and surely win. 

Kevin tried to hold his own, but like every other fight they’d ever had, he just did whatever it took to get it over with as fast as possible. Riko hadn’t done any serious damage, bruising at most, and it was never on his face, so he could deal.

Without classes they had more time for training which was the only good thing going for Kevin. The Master kept up their normal training sessions, but Kevin and Riko found time whenever they could to get back on the court. Sometimes the Master would oversee them, sometimes he wouldn’t. 

He was getting excited about being able to practice with the Ravens and even though Riko didn’t show any positive emotions, Kevin knew he was excited too. 

Riko was also nervous. He wanted to be able to prove himself to the Master, and maybe his father too. Joining Raven practices was an opportunity and he was giving it all of him, and all of Kevin. He was much more intense on the court, and it made Kevin realize how much he had improved this past year too. 

Kevin was able to keep up, unless Riko was doing particularly vicious or violent plays, then he sometimes needed a do-over. Riko was not a fan of these instances, but he didn’t let up on his ferocity. 

Kevin had not been able to count down the days until Nathaniel’s return, because he was still unsure of the timing. He had hopes at the end of the first weekend, but Nathaniel didn’t return. Then he waited for the one-week mark, and still nothing. 

He remembered the last time he went away it was for six months, but he refused to consider that a possibility. Riko said he would be back for Raven practices and he chose to believe that because he desperately hoped it was true. 

On the last day of June, Kevin stayed up as late as he could waiting for his return, and then he woke up extra early. Nathaniel still wasn’t back. Riko had noticed his eagerness and knew what he was waiting for. He was extra violent in training that day. 

When Nathaniel did return, they were a couple weeks into July. No one told Kevin he was coming back, or that he was back at all. 

It was a complete shock to show up to training and see him there. It was even more shocking to see the state of his face. 

“Nathaniel.” Kevin started to run to him but Riko grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back. 

“Stop acting like that.” Riko hissed. 

Kevin ignored him in favor of focusing on Nathaniel who was looking at the ground now. When they made it to him Kevin gripped his shoulders to get him to look up but Nathaniel flinched and he pulled back. 

“What the hell happened to your face?” Riko sneered, pushing Kevin out of the way and gripped Nathaniel’s chin. Nathaniel winced, but didn’t pull away.

There were three horizontal lines cut into each of his cheeks, not quite fresh, but awful enough that Kevin couldn’t imagine how bad they were when they were first done. 

“You look like a fucking fish.” Riko spat, then turned to examine his tattoo. His tattoo was fine, at least there was that. 

“Wouldn’t gills be on my neck?” Nathaniel asked through squished cheeks. 

"Yeah, you're a fucking clownfish."

Since Kevin had been pushed back he could see what was on Nathaniel’s neck. Three nasty burns on the side of his throat, one on top of the other. "What…” Kevin trailed off, unsure what to say or do.

“What the fuck is this?” Riko pointed to his hands and Kevin followed with his eyes. Some of Nathaniel’s fingers were wrapped up.

“S’alright. Only three are broken. The others are just jammed.” Nathaniel’s voice was hoarse and scratchy and Kevin nearly flinched at the sound.

Riko slapped the side of his head. “Use full words. And you’re not sitting out just because you have a couple cuts and bruises.”

Kevin thought that was an extreme understatement for Nathaniel’s state, especially considering the only skin they could see was injured. What other injuries lie underneath his clothes?

Nathaniel put on a determined face. “I’m not sitting out. I don’t need special treatment.”

“Good,” Riko pushed him back. “You’re not special.”

Riko walked away to get his gear and Kevin stared at Nathaniel waiting for something. An explanation, a reassurance, anything.

Nathaniel just nodded as if saying hello. 

“What happened to you?” Kevin asked. 

“I left.” Nathaniel shrugged. “I’m back now. The Master says we’re to start training with the Ravens starting in a few weeks.”

“Well, we are… but I don’t know if you’re in the right condition–”

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” Nathaniel snapped, but the rasp in his voice took away his sharp edge. “I’m fine, I can play.”

Kevin was still unsure, but then they were lining up for warmups and setting off for drills. Nathaniel was a liar. He was slower, perhaps because he was trying to hide a limp. He couldn’t extend his arms as high as he should be able to and with his height it gave him an extreme disadvantage. 

When Riko knocked him down, his recovery time was way worse than it had been before. Both Kevin and Riko were able to get Nathaniel’s racquet out of his hands multiple times. 

He was in no shape to be practicing with them, much less the Ravens. Where Kevin and Riko had been improving, it seemed Nathaniel had regressed. They were going to have to do a lot of work to get him caught up to their level so the Ravens wouldn’t kill him.

Riko didn’t take it easy on him and the Master didn’t go light on his punishments either. When they were cleaning up, Nathaniel was limping even more. Normally Kevin was begging him to shut up but his silence now was worse than his usual antagonizing remarks. He was grimacing every time he bent down to pick up a ball and even Riko noticed. 

“He’s officially deadweight.”

“No!” Kevin protested. “He’s just gotten back, give him a little time to get back into it.”

“Look at him. He’s a flick away from falling over and never getting back up.”

Nathaniel took his helmet off and his face was bleeding, he must have reopened one of the cuts on his face. “He made it through practice half dead, that’s got to count for something right?”

“Whatever, you can scrape his guts off the court when the time comes.” 

Nathaniel made his way over and Kevin took the bucket of balls from him so he could walk a little easier. He tried not to make it too obvious he was checking him out, but he couldn’t help it. 

The gashes on his face were definitely going to scar. He was pulling at his neck guard and Kevin knew it had to be chaffing against the burns he saw earlier. 

Nathaniel caught him watching and his hands snapped to his sides. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Kevin’s face heated and he scowled. “I’m allowed to look wherever I want, however I want.”

“Well, do it somewhere else.”

“Both of you shut up.” Riko rubbed his temples. “Your voices are grating.”

Nathaniel murmured something about Kevin’s face being grating and Kevin turned a harsh stare at him but kept quiet. Riko had been in such a bad mood the past month, Kevin was surprised he didn’t just up and hit Nathaniel. Perhaps he knew he would be useless on the court if he wasn’t able to heal properly. 

When Riko and Kevin were back in their room Riko seemed pissed about something. Kevin held his breath as he waited for him to start a fight or say something cruel but for a second he just looked at Kevin. 

“He’s not my problem.”

Kevin knew Riko was talking about Nathaniel. 

“I hated him before and now he’s damn near useless just as we’re about to be Ravens. I will kill him before I let him embarrass me, that’s not out of the cards.”

Kevin swallowed. 

“If he’s not cut out for perfect court, I will put him down.”

“You marked him, Riko.” Kevin reminded him. “You don’t make mistakes.”

Riko nodded. “Get him in shape before August. There is no other option.”

“I’ll make sure he’s ready.” Kevin promised. 

Chapter Text

What the fuck is on your face?

Your father is going to lose it when he sees you.

I could carve it off. Or burn it. I think we’ll send a different message though.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

It’s like dancing. I count the steps as my knife dances on your pretty skin.

Oh and we can’t forget the lovely music. Scream for me Nathaniel. 

Scream!

Nathaniel shot up in his bed, gasping for air. He clutched at his heart and could feel the rapid beating. His eyes shot around the room.

He was in the nest. 

He wasn’t in Baltimore anymore. 

His whole body was shaking. He was burning up but also freezing. The cuts on his legs were burning. He was covered in sweat which could have explained it, but as he peeled back his covers he realized he wet the bed. 

He was too scared to be embarrassed. His father wasn’t here to punish him, but if he found out... 

Nathaniel rubbed at his eyes and crawled out of his bed. He turned his bathroom light on which let some light into the room too. He started the shower and let it heat up while he bundled his bedding into a ball. He could smell it now. 

He dumped his clothes out of his laundry basket and put the sheets in it. How was he going to get those washed without anyone knowing?

Labeling that a tomorrow problem, he made his way back to the bathroom. He cringed as he undressed, the light highlighting all the bruises, cuts, and burns that now peppered his body. 

His father didn’t like his tattoo. Nathaniel knew he wouldn’t but he didn’t know he was going to be seeing him and there was no way to hide it. 

He had returned to Baltimore to stand by his father’s side during some business meetings, none of which he could remember now. 

At first his punishments weren’t so terrible they couldn’t be hidden underneath a suit. Then Nathaniel was of no use to his father, and he gave him to Lola.

The first thing she did was cut his face. Every week she had cut and recut the same three lines on each cheek, Nathaniel knew it was going to be a nasty scar. 

 He hadn’t looked at his face at all, but he could feel the ridges. If he didn’t already have an aversion to mirrors, this would have done it. It was hard enough looking down at his body in this state.

There were cuts all over his body. He looked like he had been attacked by an animal because they were all done in threes. It was supposed to be a message to the Master or Riko, Nathaniel wasn’t sure. It didn't really matter because they wouldn’t see any of the work anyway. 

Three scratches here, three burns there, three broken fingers. The worst was on his back, which was something he hadn’t seen but knew was there. 

Lola had cut a huge number three into his skin, the way a jersey number would be on his back. 

He stepped into the shower. 

Everything burned. 

He hissed as the water touched his lacerated skin. The three burns on his neck still felt raw, some of the other sets of burns were a little farther along in their healing but they hurt too. He considered turning the water cooler, but it wouldn’t help that much, it was going to sting no matter what. 

Plus he wanted the hot water to soothe some of the aches he was having from practice. For a minute he just watched the red water circling down the drain.

His wet hair stuck to his face as the spray hit the top of his head. The water covered his ears making him feel like he was in a sound bubble, except he started to hear Lola’s voice, just like in his dreams.

Take the knife, Nathaniel. 

You know you want to.

Die.

Pretty, pretty skin.

You’ll enjoy cutting it, I promise.

I know I do.

Nathaniel squeezed his eyes shut and felt the cuts on his cheeks pull. He stepped out of the water and prepared to wash as fast as he could so the stinging wouldn’t last as long. 

Going fast seemed to pull at his cuts more and when he was rinsed and out of the shower, his whole body was stinging. It felt like he was vibrating. He had to sit on the toilet for a few minutes until he stopped feeling dizzy.

He grabbed the loosest shirt and pants he could find, which happened to be a spare outfit of Kevin’s that he left in case of emergencies. 

They smelled like Kevin and though Nathaniel wanted to be put off, he was actually quite comforted. He wished he had these when he was in Baltimore. It would have made him feel less alone. 

When he stepped back into his room, he realized his predicament. He had no bedding. He thought about going and grabbing more, but he still wasn’t sure where the laundry room was, unless it was the same place they washed jerseys but that didn’t seem right. 

He considered going to find Kevin, because surely he would know, but he would be sleeping by now, and he wouldn’t want to be woken up. Neither would Riko. 

Nathaniel went to make sure nothing seeped into the mattress and sighed in relief when it was clean. He found a spare towel Kevin had put under his sink and laid it out in case he had another accident. 

He groaned just thinking about it and considered staying away the rest of the night just to be sure he didn’t have to do this again. 

But he didn’t have to be up for another three and half hours and the Ravens already didn’t have a lot of time to sleep. He piled some of his clean clothes on the bed in case he got cold. It was a shitty excuse for a bed, but it was all he had. 

He was in too much pain, and too tired, to go walking around the nest. He wanted to collapse, go to sleep, and never wake up. He made sure he grabbed enough extra clothes and climbed into the pile.

It hurt to lay on his back, and it hurt to lay on his sides. He couldn’t lay on his stomach without pressing his cheek into the sheet and that was awful too. Every part of him hurt no matter what position he was in. Luckily he was tired enough to fall asleep through the pain, or maybe it just got so bad he passed out.

When Nathaniel woke up, he was immediately reminded of the night before and pushed all of his clothes off him. At least he was able to go the rest of the night without any more terrors. 

He got ready for another grueling practice, even though he planned on getting breakfast before hitting the court. 

He had just been getting used to the constant agony, but playing exy again was torture. It had taken him so long to get his gear on and off he had to take breaks to catch his breath. 

In the time he was gone Kevin and Riko both upped their game and as much as Nathaniel tried to keep up, he just couldn’t. Every time Riko or Kevin hit one of his sore spots he threw up in his mouth a little and had to swallow it down so they wouldn't know. 

He twisted his ankle falling down the stairs–though he couldn’t remember that too clearly and suspects he was pushed–and it was slowing him down. His speed had always been his strength, it was what he relied on to keep up with the older and taller kids. 

Now, he was officially falling behind. He was pissed about it, but he was already in so much pain he wasn’t sure he really processed what it would mean yet.

Kevin was giving him more and more pointers and Nathaniel had to bite back his snarks. It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to do things correctly, it was that he just physically couldn’t do it. 

And that was an extremely frustrating situation for Nathaniel because he hated feeling helpless. He ground his teeth together and tried to suck up the pain. He got dizzy a few times from the exertion, but he would take that over failing any day. 

He was still nowhere near where he needed to be. Not even close to what he was before he’d left for Baltimore, but this was only his second day back. He would work through it.

Nathaniel went straight back to his room after practice ended. He could feel the blood seeping into his practice clothes and he was very lucky they were black. 

His back was soaked, and he knew most of it was sweat but… he pressed his hand against his shirt and it came away red. He hurried his steps and locked himself in his room. 

The shower was no easier than it was the day before. His clothes made a squelching noise as he dropped them in a pile and when he toed it into the corner it left a red streak. 

The blood mixed with his sweat was smeared all over him so he wasn’t sure which laceration it was stemming from. Perhaps a little from all of them. 

The burns on his neck felt horrid. After two practices, his neck guard had chaffed so thoroughly it peeled the top layer of skin off like a blister. He gagged when the hot water hit it. 

When he finally got through that he stepped back into his room and nearly screamed.

“How the hell did you get in here?”

Kevin gave him a sheepish smile, “It was unlocked.”

“Nuh uh. I know for a fact I locked it.” 

“Okay fine,” Kevin rolled his eyes. “I have a spare key.”

“You, what?” Nathaniel screeched. 

“Oh calm down, it’s not like you’re hiding dead bodies in here or anything. Though…”

Kevin looked around the room and Nathaniel’s face heated. He had opted for Kevin’s baggy shirt and pants again, and hoped he didn’t notice. 

“Er… I uh…”

“Oh my god, I didn’t even see the rest of this yesterday.” Kevin was in front of Nathaniel in the next second, looking at his bare arms. Nathaniel didn’t want to tell him he still hadn’t seen the rest of it.

“It’s better than it looks,” Nathaniel lied. 

“Was it because of the tattoo? I kept thinking about it yesterday because of your hand. Three broken fingers because you’re number three. And everything else is in threes too.”

Of course Kevin would pick up on the little message. Nathaniel wiggled his fingers, “Hey, at least my number’s not ten.”

Kevin frowned. “I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

“Come on, in a week it’ll be like none of this even happened.” Nathaniel knew that was a lie too. Another week wouldn’t do much for him, especially in Raven time. He might get used to playing through the pain, but it would probably be a month or so before most of the wounds healed. 

He hoped the night terrors would be gone by then too.

“So what happened to your room?” Kevin raised an eyebrow and looked at Nathaniel’s bed. Nathaniel was really hoping the cuts on his cheeks hid his flush. He was too scared to be embarrassed last night, but now he was mortified. 

“Nothing,” Nathaniel said a little too quickly.

“Come on, don’t lie to me.”

Nathaniel wanted to lie, he wanted to lie about this for the rest of his life. But he actually did need Kevin’s help getting a new bedding and perhaps burning the old one. 

“Erm.. Kevin…” Nathaniel didn’t know how to say it. Kevin was two years older, he would think him a child for what happened. He never realized it before, but he actually cared what he thought. He cared a lot. He didn’t want Kevin to think less of him…

“You know you can tell me anything right?” Kevin’s face got serious then. “You’re my best friend.”

Nathaniel felt very small as he said, “I don’t want you to make fun of me for this.”

Kevin reached for his shoulder but pulled back before he could make contact. Nathaniel was grateful because it definitely would have hurt.

“Then I won’t.” Kevin vowed. “I promise.”

Nathaniel waited to see if there was any hint of a lie on Kevin’s face, but of course there wasn’t. He was always honest, too honest most of the time. 

“I had a uh nightmare last night that I was…back with my father and…” He gestured to his face, then to the visible cuts and burns on his arms. 

“You were scared.” Kevin said with nothing but understanding.

“Terrified,” Nathaniel whispered. 

Kevin stepped forward and pulled Nathaniel into his arms. 

Nathaniel froze for a second, then hugged him back. He was tired of everyone who touched him only hurting him and he wanted to feel the good too. It did hurt, god it really really hurt, but Nathaniel didn’t mind the pain as much.

“I’m sorry.” Kevin murmured. “I wish I could have been there for you.”

Nathaniel wasn’t sure if he meant last night or the whole time he was away but he nodded. They stayed like that for a minute and Nathaniel didn’t let any cruel thoughts ruin the moment. 

When he pulled back, Kevin smiled and then his face turned determined. 

“All right, what do we need to do first?”

Nathaniel knew better than to be surprised, this was Kevin after all. He should have known he would not only help, but do more than he even asked for. He was grateful to have him as a friend. He even thought he might be more grateful for Kevin’s presence in his life than anyone else. 

The bar was pretty low, but still. He was grateful for his mother, but she was dead and so he didn’t know if he could still count her. 

Kevin had taken his dirty sheets to the laundry room and grabbed new ones. He was shocked Nathaniel hadn’t known where it was, but decided to just show him the way instead of chastising him. 

He even defended him a bit saying he technically didn’t need to know since they had staff collect and return the laundry while they were at practice. 

They had to make a few trips to the laundry room because Kevin said he couldn’t put his “nest of clothes” back in the closet after he slept on them. He argued that they were still clean but Kevin drew the line at wrinkles. 

Kevin also put an extra set of bedding in his closet, for emergencies. Nathaniel wanted to say it wouldn’t happen again, but he was grateful for the failsafe.

He replaced his towels as well, which was nice considering the ones he had were covered in blood. They stocked up on extra of those too. 

Riko was watching the Ravens practice from one of the towers, so they didn’t have to worry about running into any of them in the halls.

The pain from walking and carrying loads of laundry was fierce, but Kevin distracted him with updates on exy rookies who showed the most promise for the upcoming season. 

Between all the movement, Nathaniel was sure Kevin had seen he had covered his mirror, but he didn’t ask about it. Nathaniel wondered if he was leaving the conversation for another day since he wasn’t exactly in his best place right now. 

Whenever Nathaniel could hear Lola’s voice creeping in the back of his mind, Kevin would talk over her as if he could hear her too. By the time they were done, he felt like he had a brand new room. 

Kevin jumped onto his bed and sprawled out on the fresh blankets. “I love clean sheets.”

Nathaniel snorted. “What an odd thing to love.”

Kevin shrugged and Nathaniel climbed onto his bed too. “I’m supposed to make sure you’re ready by August.”

“I will be.”

“I know.” Kevin sighed. “How bad is it? What your father did.”

Nathaniel tried not to squirm as Kevin looked at his neck and arms. “I can still play. I did play, the last two practices.”

“It’s a setback, you have to admit.” 

“I’ll work twice as hard to set myself forward then.”

“I just want to make sure we’re not injuring you worse by pushing you so hard.”

“It’s not like the Master will take it easy on me if it was.”

“I suppose.” Kevin frowned. “Are you hiding any other serious injuries?”

Nathaniel thought of the giant number carved into his back. “No.”

“How are your fingers?”

“I carried the laundry basket, didn't I?”

“Yeah, after I lightened the load.”

“Exy sticks aren’t that heavy.”

“They are literally called heavies.”

“I can hold it fine.”

“I know you can hold it. I need you to be able to keep hold of it.”

“Well maybe stop trying to break my wrists then.” Nathaniel grimaced, thinking of the Raven technique they learned while he was gone.

Kevin only grinned, “Don’t be jealous you’ll love it when you’re able to do it to Riko, trust me.”

Nathaniel lightened up at that. “Yeah… you’re right.”

“Can’t do it with broken fingers though.”

Nathaniel frowned. “I can try.”

“You know, before you left you were actually getting decent.”

“I’m way better than decent.” Nathaniel cried indignantly.

Kevin smirked. “Sure, but I mean you were improving. You were almost at our level and you're younger so it’s fine that you’ll always be a step behind us–”

“I am at your level!” Nathaniel smacked Kevin with his pillow. “You wish you were as good as me when you were my age.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself. Anyway,” Kevin said pointedly. “It shouldn’t be too hard to get you back to where you were pre-June. And by the time we start practicing with the Ravens you’ll be healed enough that maybe you’ll even make more improvements.”

“It’s not a maybe!”

“Yeah, yeah. My point is that you’re in rough shape now–”

“Gee thanks.” Nathaniel said dryly.

“But you’ll be in top shape before the season starts.”

“Did you ever doubt that?” 

Kevin looked him up and down with a grimace and Nathaniel smacked him with his pillow again until they were both laughing.

“We’ll take it one day at a time, okay?”

“One day at a time.” Nathaniel agreed.

Chapter Text

The Ravens would start college classes in the last week of August. They would revert back to the school-year training schedule a week before that. That was when Kevin, Riko, and Nathaniel would join them. 

The three of them would start their school lessons around the same time as the Ravens started their classes, which was something none of them were looking forward to.

Kevin and Riko didn’t want to lose the extra time they had been using for training and Nathaniel had been having a hard time looking at his computer screen since he got back from Baltimore. Kevin said he might be concussed but Nathaniel insisted it was just a headache. 

Since they would be practicing with the Ravens, the Master opted out of putting them in a league of teens their own age this year. Riko said it would have wasted their time anyway, but Kevin was unsure how they were supposed to get better when they weren’t playing in actual games. 

He had only told that to Nathaniel though, and he brushed it off, saying that practicing with the Ravens would likely be so tiring that they wouldn’t have the energy to go to another team’s practice or games anyway.

He realized belatedly that Nathaniel hadn’t been allowed game time with the league because of his size-except that one game when Riko marked him-and felt kind of shitty about bringing it up. 

It did reassure him a little bit though, because Nathaniel had somehow survived without playing in actual games and he was improving faster than any of the other league players.

Perhaps Raven scrimmages would have to be sufficient for the next few years. They were still getting court time, and that’s what really mattered. 

Nathaniel had stopped limping after a few days back and that had him progressing exponentially. He was still set back when he was hit in a sore spot, but he had also gotten over whatever injury was stopping him from fully extending his arms. 

Kevin was glad the Ravens operated with shorter days because it felt like Nathaniel had more time to heal and prepare for the season, even if that wasn't exactly sound logic.

He had helped Nathaniel dress his burns and treat the cuts on his arms, but Nathaniel refused any more help than that. He also refused to let Kevin go easy on him on the court. 

Kevin didn’t fight so hard for that battle because it wasn’t in his nature to downplay his skill, but he would have done it if Nathaniel really needed him to. He wanted him to get better at exy, but he also wanted him to get better in general, he just didn’t know which one to prioritize. 

Nathaniel was stubborn and he didn’t want to be coddled. He didn’t complain about his injuries, if anything he complained about Kevin trying to care for his injuries. Kevin had been trying to worry about it less because he was only stressing himself out about it.

Plus, he really did need Nathaniel to improve by the time the school year started. He had promised Riko, and he was scared of what Riko might do if he wasn’t ready. 

He knew he wouldn’t actually kill him, but he wouldn’t let Nathaniel embarrass him either. Riko could be violent on the court and Nathaniel didn’t need any more injuries. He would likely get enough punishments from the Master anyway if he was falling behind.

The Master had been working them extra hard in practice in preparation and Kevin wasn’t sure if he was overdoing it so they would feel some relief when the time came, or if the Raven practices were really going to be that difficult.

Riko had been going to watch the Raven practices frequently, but he didn’t let Kevin come with him. Kevin wasn’t sure if he was trying to give himself an upper hand, but he didn’t really want to watch anyway. 

He was using the extra time to help and hang out with Nathaniel and that seemed more worthwhile. Riko talked about the players sometimes, but other than their skill on the court he wasn’t really interested in them that much anymore. 

They hadn’t been to a Raven party in a long time. Part of it was because they weren’t throwing them as much after the atrocious end to their last season. But Riko had also decided he wasn’t going to put any more effort into trying to impress the Ravens. 

He said the Ravens were going to have to impress him.

Kevin wasn’t sure if all of the Ravens were going to care about that, but he didn’t say that to Riko’s face. He was fine not hanging out with them anyway; they were busy enough with extra practices as it was. 

The Ravens hadn’t been messing with Nathaniel since he’d gotten back from Baltimore either. Kevin liked to think they were being sympathetic because he obviously came back in a bad way, but Nathaniel said they didn’t have enough soul for that. 

He thinks that they’re giving them a false sense of security and are going to make it ten times worse for them once they start practicing together. 

Kevin tried to argue that they weren’t smart enough to think that far ahead, but he was also desperately hoping Nathaniel was wrong. 

Between Riko’s optimistic confidence and Nathaniel’s foreboding despair, Kevin didn’t know what to expect from them. He hoped the team would take a liking to them once they were on the court together, but he knew that would be too easy. Nothing was ever easy or fair for them. 

Based on the last few years they’d spent in the nest; they were in for a lot of pain. But perhaps it was something they would get through if it meant getting better at exy. 

All of it would work out if they stuck together as a team. It had to. They were still on track to becoming perfect court. Riko might be a nightmare sometimes, but he always did what he said. He was making sure they were moving up and progressing better than any other kids their age. 

He even made sure Nathaniel was moving up with them. 

Whatever happened when they joined the Ravens, they would face together and they would survive.

Chapter Text

August 2000

“Are you ready?” 

“Obviously.”

“Yeah, same.”

“Obviously.”

Kevin didn’t like Riko’s tone change but today wasn’t the day to get hung up on stupid things. 

They were going to practice with the Ravens. 

“If he’s not here in the next minute I’m going to kill him.”

Kevin glanced at the clock. “He still has five until the time you told him last night.”

Riko’s response was cut off by a knock at the door. Kevin sighed in relief and went to let Nathaniel in. Nathaniel brushed past him, but Kevin had gotten a good enough look. His eyes were bloodshot to hell. He probably hadn’t slept at all last night. 

Kevin didn’t bother wondering if it was nerves, excitement, or just pure negligence to what his body needed. Nathaniel seemed to have enough energy now, it just needed to get him through the next few hours. At least his hair looked combed.

“You’re late.” Riko scowled. 

After yesterday’s practice, Riko had told Nathaniel to meet in their room so they would go to practice together. Kevin was relieved because the idea of Nathaniel walking into a locker room full of Raven’s alone had his heart seizing up. 

They weren’t allowed to use the Raven locker rooms before, but starting today they would have their own lockers and access to the team’s lounge and showers too. Kevin had seen the insides before, when the Ravens were gone and Riko wanted to explore, but he hadn’t been in there with all of the other Ravens. 

Which was another reason why he was glad they were showing up together. It would be less intimidating, or at least that’s what he hoped. 

Riko looked Nathaniel over, making sure he was presentable, then they were making their way through the nest. They opted to skip breakfast-none of them admitted it out loud, but it was because of their nerves-and go straight to the locker room to change. 

They hesitated outside the door. None of them said anything but it felt like a big moment. The Ravens would be on the other side of the door. The people they hated were all in close corners and they were about to invite themselves in. Kevin wasn’t sure if they were going to be welcomed or hazed, but either way they were here to stay. 

Riko pushed the door open and all three of them stopped in the doorway. 

The locker room was empty.

Nathaniel’s eyes widened and Kevin felt his stomach drop. They both looked at Riko and even he looked a little dumbfounded. 

A second later, his face hardened and he moved towards where their assigned lockers were. Nathaniel and Kevin shared a look, but followed him.

 It was a little secluded, and Kevin wondered if they were put away from everyone else because of their status, or because the Ravens didn’t want to be near them.

“Did we get the wrong time?” Nathaniel asked. 

“No.” Riko snapped, but checked his watch anyway. “Just get changed.”

Kevin wasn’t sure what was going on. They couldn’t have gotten the wrong day, the Master had told them to be ready after yesterday’s practice. And unless someone had changed the time on Riko’s watch and on the clocks in their rooms, then they should be good there. 

It was eerie being in the empty locker room like this. The rattling of their lockers and the scuffs of their shoes echoed in the large space.

Perhaps the Ravens had a pre-practice that they didn’t know about yet. Kevin frowned as he tugged on his gear, the Ravens were already going to be warmed up before they even got out there. Of course they would get a headstart. If they would have known, then they would have come earlier so they could join them.

Kevin looked over to see if Riko was thinking about how strange this was too. Riko was doing a good job of hiding it, but he too seemed unsettled by this change of events. 

“Maybe they’re just scared,” Kevin offered, to try and get Riko’s mind steady again. “Trying to rattle us so we don’t show them up on day one.”

Riko nodded thoughtfully. “Then they’re even dumber than I thought.”

Nathaniel returned from the bathroom with his gear on and Kevin couldn’t stop the grin from splitting his face. They were all given the Raven practice uniforms and new armor, and seeing him in it felt like a confirmation that they had made it. 

Everything was black, except for a small red raven on the left leg of the shorts and on the front of the shirt. There was also the school logo in red on the back. It was the same material as their jerseys, but they didn’t have numbers or names on them. 

Nathaniel started tying his shoes and Riko looked Kevin over, probably feeling the same sense of achievement Kevin was feeling. 

They still had some time before practice officially started, but they agreed it was best to head to the court as soon as possible. Hopefully the Ravens hadn’t started actual practice without them, but if they did then they would need to catch up. 

Nathaniel looked a little queasy as they made their way through the tunnel that led to the outer ring. Every time he tried to say something Riko would smack him on the back of the head to get him to shut up. 

Kevin was too nervous to pay attention to them at the moment, but he had to appreciate how all of their nerves seemed to mesh so well. 

Kevin gave Nathaniel an appraising look to remind himself he was ready too. His fingers had already basically healed over the last few weeks as well as most of his injuries. 

Like Kevin had expected, once he could move without cringing, he was able to get back to pre-June state rather quickly. His speed was probably the first thing he recovered, and he rebuilt a good amount of the muscle he lost because Kevin made sure he was eating double what he should.

He had even learned the trick to getting someone’s racquet out of their hands, though he was only successful half the time. He was better at defending himself from the move, but Kevin and Riko had still been able to get his racquet if they timed it right.

He had improved, though not as much as Kevin would have liked, but all things considered it was good. It was good enough for Riko too, considering he didn’t try to stop Nathaniel from joining them today. 

Kevin wondered if they were going to pause just outside the outer ring, like they had outside the locker-room, but Riko didn’t hesitate and it forced Nathaniel and Kevin along too.

They used the court everyday, but it felt different being there now. Kevin tried not to let the moment go to his head, Riko was acting like he belonged and he tried to copy his confidence. 

They did belong. This was theirs.

Kevin frowned as the Ravens started filing onto the court from the opposite side. 

“They were in the away team's locker room?” Nathaniel smirked. “That’s a lot of trouble to avoid the three of us.”

“Don’t get smug,” Kevin warned. “They were sending a message.”

“Yeah, the message is that they’re a bunch of spineless puss–Ow!”

Riko smacked the back of his head again. “On the court, we’re a team. If they want to give us the locker room to have for ourselves then let them. I prefer the privacy anyway.”

Riko opened the door and they filed onto the court behind him. None of the Ravens looked at them, or even acknowledged their arrival. Kevin knew they were drawing lines. 

“So much for being a team on the court,” Nathaniel murmured low enough that Riko wouldn’t hear.

Riko seemed to stick with his idea that the Ravens needed to impress him and not the other way around, so he stuck his nose in the air and ignored them back. Nathaniel and Kevin just tried to focus on the task at hand.

The warm ups were pretty much the same as what they always did, plus or minus a few things that they were able to pick up on easily enough.

When they were finished stretching, they split up by positions. Kevin stayed by Riko’s side but felt a sense of dread as he watched Nathaniel go with the other backliners. 

He couldn’t stay hung up on it though because they hardly waited for Riko and Kevin to fall in line to get started. No one paused to explain anything to them. They were familiar with a lot of the drills already, and Riko more so since he had been watching Raven practices, but Kevin had to really focus so he wouldn’t make a fool of himself. 

He did great when he knew what he was about to do, but sometimes had to look to Riko for guidance. The Ravens still didn’t acknowledge them, but if it was necessary to pass to them, then they would. They didn’t talk to each other all that much, other than calling drills or calling out to whoever they were throwing to, so Kevin didn’t think it was too awkward. 

They never called out his name though and more than once he had just barely caught a ball before it would have hit him in the head. 

Kevin and Riko were not that much shorter than a lot of the Ravens. Of course, they had some super tall players that towered over everyone, but Kevin and Riko were tall for their age, and they were only a few inches under the Ravens who were only averagely tall. 

Riko might have been taller than one of the girls, Kevin thought, but it’s not like he was going to ask her for her height or ask them to go back to back. 

It made Kevin a little more confident about keeping up with them. Nathaniel on the other hand… Kevin didn’t want to chance a look in his direction in case he was caught unawares, but he was not so lucky. In fact, he was quite unlucky in the height department. 

Kevin could only hope he found a way to hold his own. 

When they finished their striker drills, they were allowed a two minute water break. Kevin had thought the backliners would have finished around the same time, but they kept going. 

Two minutes felt like nothing and then they were back on the court again. They joined the backliners at half court and Kevin wondered if they had their water break before the strikers and he just hadn’t realized. 

Kevin tried to look for Nathaniel but then the Master came onto the court and they all lined up. Riko was at Kevin’s side, at least.

The Master split them into three teams for scrimmages. Kevin, Riko, and Nathaniel were all on different teams. Kevin hated the idea of playing with another striker when he was so used to having Riko on his side. 

He was going to have to work with another Raven to score and he was going to be guarded by a Raven too. He didn’t know if that would be worse or better than being pitted against Nathaniel. 

The last time he had really gone up against a Raven was the first time Nathaniel had joined private lessons. Kevin had been so excited about Nathaniel’s presence that he didn’t really stay hung up on how hard it was to be guarded by the Raven. 

Kevin was a much better exy player now, he was bigger and stronger and he knew more about getting around backliners. But still, it wasn’t like it was going to be easy. 

Kevin and Riko’s team were going against each other first. Kevin was going to be a sub, something he wasn’t told but had resorted himself to when two of his teammates took their positions. There were seven Raven strikers, and with Riko and Kevin there, each team would have one sub.

Riko was starting for his team. Kevin wasn’t sure how he pulled that off and wondered if the Ravens had stopped ignoring him. 

It wasn’t a full scrimmage, Kevin realized. The teams would play against each other for twenty-five minutes and whoever had the most points when the buzzer went off would stay on the court while the losers switched off with the third team. Subbing wasn’t allowed until the round ended, and even then it only mattered for the winning team.

Kevin wasn’t in for his team in the first round, but they beat Riko’s team so he was able to go in for round two. 

Riko had done well during his twenty five minutes. The Ravens were harsh and he was body slammed into the plexi the first time he got the ball, but he learned from it and didn’t let it happen again. 

He was still shoved and tripped, but nothing as bad as the first slam. He could tell Riko was having trouble adapting to playing with a striker who wasn’t Kevin because some of his passes, though ideal for Kevin, seemed to get away from his teammate. 

Riko was scowling as he followed his team off the court and Kevin took his place on the half court line. His stomach dropped when he saw Nathaniel taking his position. Of course he knew he was playing his team, but… was Kevin the only one who was considered a sub for his team?

He shook off the thought, he was playing now and he needed to focus. His team had serve and he was already running for the ball before he could even process it. 

The sound of it smacking the wall was loud but all Kevin could hear was white noise as his mind locked in. He scooped the ball on rebound and dodged a blow from his backliner in the nick of time. He sent the ball high and over to his other striker just before he hit ten steps. 

He didn’t see if his throw was good because his backliner caught up to him and took him to the floor a second later. It was perhaps one hundred times worse than any tackle Nathaniel had ever done and Kevin gasped for air as he pushed himself to his feet. 

He wouldn’t let it slow him down. 

He fought with everything he had to get to the ball and make smart plays. It was harder, not playing with Riko at his side and Nathaniel at his back, but at the end of the day it was exy. And exy was something Kevin was intimately familiar with.

His team won again, and as Kevin made his way off the court, he almost felt bad for Nathaniel. Kevin knew he was having trouble guarding his striker, he was over a foot taller than him and had much more muscle, but it wasn’t like Kevin could stop passing to him. 

Nathaniel was a good exy player because of his speed and ability to adapt. Kevin knew he had the ability to play against them, he just needed to figure it out. And soon. 

Riko’s team was back on, but he was subbed out this round. Kevin watched the way the backliner’s and strikers moved to understand their weaknesses and strengths. His team finally lost, which disappointed Kevin a bit because it would have been his turn to go on. 

He was drinking his water when the next game started up and nearly choked when he realized Nathaniel was back on the court. The Ravens had seven backliners, Nathaniel made eight. Kevin looked around and realized only his and Riko’s team had a backliner sub.

Why the hell would the Master do that?

Nathaniel’s body looked weary, but his face was determined. Kevin wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse, but he was guarding Riko. 

Nathaniel knew how Riko played and he was used to guarding him and hitting his weak points. It was obvious in the way he was playing. 

Riko was used to being guarded by Nathaniel and knew his tricks as well as how to get around them. It was obvious in the way he was playing. 

It was interesting to watch their dynamic when they had teams behind them. The way they battled was so practiced it seemed like a dance. Kevin even noticed some of his own team paying close attention to them. 

Riko’s teammates were more inclined to pass to him now that he could make expert plays, and Nathaniel’s team seemed to at least appreciate the passes he sent upcourt whenever he snagged the ball. 

Riko’s team ended up winning and Kevin was internally cheering because Riko would have been a sore loser and Nathaniel needed a break. 

Kevin was back on against Riko, but they were on opposite sides of the court so he put him out of his mind. 

Kevin lost himself in the movements. He pushed his legs to run faster, his swings were harder as he made his throws. He flexed all of his muscles when he knew he was about to get laid out and no matter what he always got up. 

It was exhilarating to play with a team this good. Kevin knew he had some work to do to get to their level, but he would do whatever it took. He wouldn’t stop until he was at the top. 

Riko and Nathaniel were right. This was so much better than practicing with teenagers in the league. Kevin felt like every second he was learning something new. A backliner’s stick habits, a dealer’s throw pattern. He had to force himself not to smile like an idiot every time he caught on to something that gave him an advantage.

He could practically see the way they would own this court when they were old enough to be Ravens. This was their birthright, this was everything.

He was disappointed when the Master called an end to practice. Well his mind was, his body was relieved to have a break. 

He was bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing hard as the Ravens filed off the court. Riko came up to his side, and his face was neutral, but Kevin knew he was feeling the pump too. 

They were probably going to go back to their rooms and talk about this practice for the rest of the night. The Ravens were still ignoring them, but Kevin was sure that would stop eventually. They may have treated them like kids before, but now they had to see they were older and better. 

They survived their first practice; they could only move up from here.

Chapter Text

Nathaniel couldn’t stop throwing up. His head was ringing as his body convulsed, and he squeezed his eyes shut so his vomit wouldn’t splash toilet water into his eyes. 

Everything was buzzing and his stomach was cramping from the movement. He dry heaved for what felt like twenty minutes then laid his head on the toilet seat. 

If Kevin was there he would screaming at the unsanitary display, but as Nathaniel laid in his own vomit he couldn’t find a single fuck to give. 

He was panting hard, trying to not think about throwing up again. It didn’t work. Luckily there was nothing in his stomach anymore and he only dry heaved for another ten minutes. 

He was so lightheaded he thought he was going to pass out again, but at least that would offer a respite.

He crawled into his shower and laid on the floor of the tub. The showerhead had been running cold water for over an hour, but Nathaniel hadn’t been able to lay in the shower and throw up in the toilet at the same time.

He closed his eyes, knowing he was playing a dangerous game, but willing to play anyway. He would just rest for a moment, then he would get up and shower properly. 

He choked on water and coughed himself awake, unsure how much time had passed. His clothes were soaked and he was frozen to the bone, but at least he had cooled down. 

Perhaps a little too cool. He lifted his arm to turn off the water and not only was he shaking, but he was covered in goosebumps. Even with the water off, he was cold and started peeling off his wet shorts and socks. 

He came straight to his room when practice ended, using the last of his energy to lock the door and slide down the wall as he fainted. 

When he came too, he quickly ripped off his jersey and armor before he went on to purge everything inside of him. It was all a blur and he knew he had passed out a couple more times in between bouts of throwing up. 

He was just glad it was over now. Or at least it should be. He used the edge of the tub to stand up and turned on hot water to wash the day off. Despite laying under the spray for who knows how long, there was still some puke on him and he knew he smelled like sweat and sick.

His towels were on the floor covered in things he didn’t want to think about so he went straight to his room after and tugged fresh clothes over his wet body. 

He cursed when he saw the time, he had to be up for practice in seven hours. It was later than normal.

He quickly pulled on a hoodie and made his way to the cafeteria. He knew there wasn’t going to be any fresh food out, but he was desperate and would work with what he found. 

Nathaniel had been at Raven practices for a week now, or maybe it was longer. He was losing time due to his new routine and had no interest in retracing the days. 

He didn’t expect the Ravens to take it easy on him, he might have even been offended if they had, but he also didn’t quite realize how much it would hurt. 

They were all bigger and stronger than Riko and had more skill than Kevin. It took little effort for any of them to knock him down. He had to rely on his speed in order to make any plays, which luckily was what he was used to doing anyway. 

Nathaniel was fast. He was faster than Riko and Kevin, and he always had been. Some of the Ravens were harder to pass, but only because their legs were so much longer. 

Once Nathaniel started growing, they would never be able to keep up. He reminded himself of this over and over again as he was knocked down and shoved into the walls.

They tried not to pass to him unless it was unavoidable, which was fine because he was a backliner. When they scrimmaged, the opposing team passed to his striker which gave him plenty of opportunity to make plays. Even if it ended up with him flattened on the ground or against the wall.

Nathaniel was used to being knocked around. He could handle that, it wasn’t his current issue. The problem was that ever since the first practice, the Ravens wouldn’t let him get water. 

They didn’t get that many water breaks as it was, and two Ravens were always at his side and holding him back during those times.. 

Their first practice, he had been put into scrimmage rounds with no subs, and he thought he was going to die. The minute practice ended he ran to his room and threw up, then passed out, then threw up again. He hadn’t even said anything to Kevin and Riko before leaving. 

It has been the same routine every day since. 

Kevin had knocked on his door the first day and Nathaniel told him to piss off so he could sleep. Kevin must have believed him, because he didn’t fight him on it and Nathaniel had heard a knock here and there throughout days, but Kevin always left when Nathaniel didn’t answer.

He knew he didn’t need to lie. Kevin would have helped him, he probably would have even told the Master what the Ravens were doing.

But Nathaniel didn’t think telling on the Ravens was going to make them back off. Plus he’d been practicing with Riko for years now, he knew snitching wasn’t an option. 

And he wanted to prove he could handle it himself. He didn't need Kevin jumping in and trying to save him. He was just as capable as Kevin and Riko. He was just as good of a player and this was only a setback he would find his way around. 

Nathaniel had gotten better at dealing with the dehydration, or so he thought. Every night he made sure to drink enough water that he would wake up at least three times throughout the night to pee. Every time he woke up he drank some more. 

It was tiring, but not more tiring than anything else he’d done to stay alive. It helped that he knew he actually might die if he didn’t keep water in his body. 

He had a hard time eating, because he would throw up for what felt like hours every evening, but he forced himself to do that too. 

He had to wake up two hours before practice started to avoid the Ravens in the cafeteria. On the morning of the second practice, he was prepared to drink enough water to get him through practice, but the Ravens were already in the cafe and they shut down his efforts immediately. They had picked him up and took him to the court early, shoving him around until everyone else showed up for practice.

The third morning he got smarter, but not by much. He woke up early enough to avoid the Ravens but accidentally drank so much water he nearly pissed himself during practice. 

He had to find a balance of how much he could eat and drink and how to time it so he would hurl or piss himself during practice. It was a learning experience, for sure. One he never wanted to have to do, but this was what it took to be a Raven. 

Nathaniel hoped Kevin and Riko were getting off easier, but he knew they had to be having setbacks of their own. He had seen some of the Ravens talking to Riko, so at least he made progress on that front. They seemed more willing to pass to Kevin in scrimmages too.

Nathaniel hadn’t really gotten a chance to hang out with Kevin, or talk to either of them about the practices, but at least that meant he didn’t have to lie to them about it.

This morning's practice was just as rough, they had scrimmages at the end again and Kevin, Nathaniel, and Riko had still never been put on the same team. 

His team had a backliner sub, so he wasn’t forced to play all of the rounds, but when he was on the bench he was always sandwiched between two Ravens who still didn’t let him drink.

When he made it to the cafeteria, he stuck two apples and an orange in his hoodie pocket. He tucked a few water bottles into his arm and went to the fridge to see what food was left. 

There was boxed salad, but Nathaniel hated salad and it had nowhere near enough nutrition for what his body needed. He stacked three sandwiches and added them to the pile in his arms. 

He grabbed a handful of mini cups of peanut butter and forced them into his pocket next to the fruit. Taking a last look, he figured it would hold him off until morning. 

He made his way back to his room, as fast as he possibly could without dropping anything. When he was locked inside he put everything on his desk and got to work. 

He took apart all of the sandwiches, one was ham, one was turkey, and the other chicken. He put all the meat together on one sandwich and set the leftover bread to the side. 

He was no longer feeling nauseous and his stomach grumbled at the smell. But, he knew if he ate too fast he would get sick anyway and took slow bites. 

He ate one of the apples and the orange and saved the rest. Then he got to work, cleaning up his bathroom and taking all of his dirty towels to the laundry room and restocking. 

He had done this each day too and no matter how many extra towels he grabbed it never felt like enough. He grabbed a few more waters on his way back to his room and finished one before he made it to his door. 

He peed about six times before he decided he needed to sleep. He ate the apple, brushed his teeth, then climbed into bed. 

He woke up four times throughout the night. Three times to pee and once from a night terror. They still happened, though none as intense as his first night back from Baltimore. Sometimes he was so exhausted he was blessed with a dreamless sleep. 

Other times, he tried to make the best out of a bad situation and made sure to drink another water and eat another cup of peanut butter since he was already awake. 

He was pretty sure he wouldn’t die like this. He would be quite disappointed if he went through all the effort for nothing. His mind was so busy focusing on getting through each day, he didn’t really have time to think about anything else, including how miserable he was. 

All he needed to do was lessen his recovery time after practice so he wouldn’t fall behind when their school lessons started. He knew he could do it, no matter what he would find a way to adapt. He always did.

Chapter Text

Kevin and Riko were finally highschoolers. Kevin thought it was supposed to be some kind of milestone for them, but he didn’t have any strong feelings over the matter. It wasn’t like they were actually going to a high school. It was still just the two of them in their private lessons.  

He didn’t find their course material any harder to learn but had to force himself to focus and not constantly think about exy. Their days didn’t coincide with a normal week because they had different hours, but the Master worked out a schedule. They did Japanese, History, and English in one day and Math, Science, and Fitness the next. They had two days off for every four days of classes.

It was all built around the Raven practices, so they would never have to worry about missing one or the other. Nathaniel had a similar schedule, but he did his classes in a different room because he was two years behind them. 

Kevin and Nathaniel hadn’t been able to hang out since they started Raven practices and now their interactions were even more rare since school had started. Nathaniel never even stayed long enough after practice to say hello. 

Kevin knew he just wanted to go straight to sleep and he tried not to be offended because he was happy Nathaniel was finally getting some rest. 

He had been making his own way to practice now, too. The morning of their second practice, Kevin and Riko had waited for Nathaniel to walk to practice. Kevin had begged Riko not to go yet with every passing minute he didn’t show. 

When Riko finally had enough, Kevin walked as slow as he could in case they ran into Nathaniel in the hall. It was pointless, when they arrived, they saw Nathaniel had gone to practice without them. Riko ignored it entirely, but Kevin didn’t understand Nathaniel’s choice. 

They weren’t really allowed to talk during practice–and even if they were Nathaniel normally stayed near the backliner crowd–so Kevin had to rely on glances from afar to see how he was doing. 

From what he could see, the Ravens weren’t abnormally rough with him. They laid him out on the court every chance they got, but that was just exy. They pushed him around when the Master wasn’t looking, but it was nothing out of the ordinary.

It had only been a few weeks, but Kevin already felt used to practicing at the Raven level. Not in a skill sense, because he was still working up to that, but now he was used to the routine of their drills and what was expected of them. 

He was getting better at reading some of the Raven’s strengths and weaknesses, but it was hard when there were so many of them and he didn’t interact with them all. 

After the third practice, the Master had dismissed Kevin but took Riko to his office. He came back to their room a few hours later and went straight to his closet to pull out a bottle of whiskey. 

Kevin knew better than to ask what happened, but he stared at his ceiling for a long time debating on whether or not he should say anything at all. 

Riko went to sleep before he decided, and Kevin saw the dark bruises along his torso when he changed for practice the next morning. 

Ryall, one of the strikers, had shown up to court with two black eyes and a busted lip. No one paid him any mind until he called Riko’s name for a pass. Riko didn’t look surprised as he caught it and sent it down the line, but some of the others–including Kevin–had turned their heads. 

The other strikers gradually joined in, acknowledging Riko when they needed to and then Kevin as well. They called passes and gave them tips on how to crush their opponents when they scrimmaged. They weren’t friendly, or even cordial, but it was still progress. 

He hoped Riko was right about them being a team on the court and that it would slowly adjust to them being a team off the court too. 

How nice would that be? Walking through the nest without fear of running into a Raven in a bad mood. Not having to worry about Nathaniel being in the nest alone with the Ravens.

He heard some of the Ravens say Nathaniel’s name a few times, so he was sure they were done ignoring him too. 

Their scrimmage teams talked to them the most, but that was mostly them pointing out every little thing they did wrong. Sometimes showing them with a racquet to the legs or a rough shove.

The Master still punished them if they botched plays or did something he deemed offensive, but it was never anything severe enough to stop them from playing. 

Or at least the Master didn’t deem it severe enough to let them stop playing. Riko had done a good job at hiding it, but Kevin had walked into the bathroom after practice one day and saw Riko bracing his ribs. 

Riko had stilled for a single second then he was shoving Kevin out of the bathroom and cursing him to hell for not knocking. Kevin and Riko normally didn’t knock so he wasn’t sure why he had expected him to then. 

They were partners, they didn’t have privacy. They didn’t need it, or they hadn’t before at least. 

He let Riko’s cruel words go in favor of figuring out what happened to him. He knew the Master must have done it, but he didn’t know the extent other than that it was bad enough to turn his skin purple.

When Riko came out of the bathroom he tried to ignore Kevin, but Kevin persisted until he was sporting a few bruises of his own. He did find out that Riko had a broken rib, though. He had flinched and it caused the Master’s swing to hit higher than he was aiming, breaking one rib and bruising a few others.

He assured Kevin he was fine and Kevin had to believe him because he hadn’t even noticed Riko favoring his left side. He hadn’t known he was injured at all. 

The next practice he paid closer attention to Riko, and it was still mostly unnoticeable, but since he knew to look, he could see Riko was quicker to cover his injured side before impacts.

Bhalor, one of the backliners, must have noticed too because during their scrimmage he tackled Riko on his weak side and flattened him to the ground.

Kevin’s full body flinched but Riko got up, the only sign something was wrong was the ferocity on his face and the determination in his eyes as he continued playing.

Kevin had waited until they were walking back to their room to ask Riko if he was alright, but Riko ignored him and walked ahead. Kevin had to speed walk to keep up with his brisk pace and had just gotten inside their room when Riko shoved him against the door.

“Did you tell them about my ribs?”

“What?” Kevin spluttered, losing his voice because of the hand on his throat.

“Did you fucking tell them?” Riko shouted and Kevin shook his head fervently. Riko narrowed his eyes but released Kevin after a minute. “Do you promise?”

“I promise, Riko, I didn’t tell anyone.”

Riko watched his face as he said, “They ask me about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we scrimmage. My team wants to know how you play. So, they know how to get around you.”

“Oh,” Kevin rubbed the back of his neck. “What’d you tell them?”

“Nothing, obviously.” Riko snipped. “Do they ask you about me?”

Kevin thought back on the scrimmages they’ve had. They did try and talk to Kevin about Riko, but he hadn’t realized what they were playing at. “Yeah…I guess they did.”

“What’d they say?” Riko asked impatiently.

“They wanted to know your weaknesses.”

“And what’d you tell them?”

Kevin shrugged. “I told them you don’t have weaknesses.”

Riko searched his eyes for a lie, but Kevin wasn’t lying. Riko didn’t have any weaknesses. Neither did Kevin. The closest thing to it was that they weren’t playing with each other, but being less compatible with the other strikers wasn’t a real weakness.

Riko backed away and headed for the bathroom. “We’re partners. Don’t forget that.”

“I know.” Kevin said as he followed. “I wouldn’t tell them anything that could hurt you.”

“Neither of us will. Your failures are mine and mine are yours.”

Kevin frowned. “Then we'll make sure we never fail.”

Chapter Text

There was a pounding on the door and Kevin shot up in his bed. He looked over to see Riko was awake too, and just as confused. 

Kevin went to answer the door and nearly stumbled back when he saw Ryall. 

“Get up, it’s time for the Raven Run. If you’re not outside in ten minutes you’re off the team.”

Ryall left and Kevin quickly shut the door and looked to Riko. Riko was out of bed too and from the look on his face he had no idea what was going on. 

Practically speaking, Ryall had no say whatsoever in who was on the team, but neither of them decided to test it.

Kevin scrambled to his closet to put on practice clothes and his running shoes. The weather shouldn’t be too cold so they both wore a black practice shirt and matching shorts. 

Kevin brushed his teeth and hair and waited by the door for Riko to do the same. They made their way outside and Riko didn’t seem nervous so Kevin tried to be calm too. If they were just going on a run they would be fine. They ran laps at practice all the time. 

So what if it was abnormally early in the Raven day?

When they stepped outside, Kevin could tell it was pre-dawn. The grass was covered in dew and the wet concrete told him it had rained last night. It was getting a little cooler now that August was ending and the early morning gave just enough of a chill for it to be perfect running weather. 

The Ravens were an obvious bunch, the group of them standing together on the sidewalk wearing all black. Nathaniel came out of the nest shortly after them and he was rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 

He clearly did not brush his hair and his eyes were bloodshot. 

“What’s this all about?”

“We’re going on a run, I guess.”

“At the crack ass of the morning?” He said around a yawn.

“Why do you smell like peanut butter?” Kevin said, wrinkling his nose.

Nathaniel furrowed his brows. “Why do you smell like shit?”

“I do not!” Kevin cried and Riko elbowed both of them in the ribs.

“Stretch.” Riko ordered, and Kevin could see small signs of nerves as Riko watched the other Ravens. They were stretching too and Riko’s eyes were narrowed on a group in particular.

“What’re they saying Riko?” Nathaniel said in a low voice.

Riko smacked the back of his head. “Use full words.” 

Kevin realized then that Riko was trying to read their lips and tried to give it a go too. He didn’t gather anything that made sense and gave it a rest. He did notice the looks of apprehension from the first years as they stretched. 

“The first years don’t know what we’re doing either.” Kevin muttered. 

“That’s because they’re idiots.” Riko turned back to them. “We’re doing a marathon.”

Kevin’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “No way!”

“Calm the fuck down.” Riko ordered.

“Not that big a deal,” Nathaniel shrugged. “I’m a great runner.”

“It’s twenty six miles, Nathaniel.” Kevin hissed. 

Nathaniel paled. “What?”

“That’s how long a marathon is, dimwit.” 

Nathaniel didn’t get a chance to reply because all the Ravens stood up as one and the three of them hastily followed. Prescott was in the front because he was the captain and his partner Inji was next to him. 

They lined up in pairs behind him. Kevin was next to Riko, at the back of the strikers. The dealers were right behind them, followed by the backliners and goaltenders. 

Nathaniel would be in the back with the rest of the defense, and Kevin wondered if he would be running alone since he didn’t have a partner. 

Prescott was setting the pace, and it was slower than what they normally did in practice. Kevin was not a fan of running, but he had long legs and good stamina. 

He might not be as fast as Nathaniel, but he was an athlete raised with a Raven training regime. He and Riko had to be two of the fittest kids their age.

Sure, if he had known he would be running a marathon on a random morning he might have prepared or trained, but surely if he could handle three hours of a grueling practice, then he could handle a steady run. 

His movements were synched with Riko’s and the rest of the other Ravens as they made their way around campus and to the park. 

There weren’t many people out, probably because it was early in the morning, and it felt nice to get out the nest and get some fresh air.

He tried to pass the time by recalling wars he learned about at the end of the last school year. Then he tried to remember the events in Japanese. 

Kevin wasn’t sure how far they had run, but his entire shirt was soaked through with sweat. He would have felt weird about it, but he could see the guy in front of him was breaking a sweat too. Even Riko was drenched at his side. 

They started to slow, which was weird because they were nowhere near the nest, but a minute later Kevin saw why. There was a small table set up outside one of the buildings and it was filled with water jugs and cups. 

Kevin felt so relieved he might cry. 

The Ravens all came to a stop and he had to wait for everyone in front of him to go first, but then he was chugging. Riko was chugging water at his side and he was grateful he wasn’t at the back of the line like Nathaniel. 

Riko led him over to sit down on the curb next to some of the other strikers. Kevin leaned his forehead on his knees and tried to control his breathing.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Katid said. “We’re only halfway.”

Kevin felt his stomach pool with dread, but he had known that they were nowhere near finished. Neither of them replied. 

“Eugh, sick. Kid’s puking.” 

Kevin jumped up so fast he got a head rush, but shook it off to look for Nathaniel. Katid was right, he was hunched over in the grass throwing up. Kevin scrunched his nose and was going to go check on him but Riko grabbed the back of his shirt. 

“He doesn’t need you babying him.” Riko said low enough that no one else would overhear. Kevin frowned, but he didn’t get a chance to go over because a Raven was steering Nathaniel back into the group of backliners.

He turned back around and watched as Katid pulled off his t-shirt, tucking it into his waistband. Riko elbowed Kevin in the stomach and he realized some of the other Ravens were doing the same. 

Riko took his shirt off and Kevin decided to do the same. Not only was he extremely hot but it was going to get warmer as the sun rose more. 

When they finally made it back to the nest, Riko held Kevin up so he wouldn’t collapse into the grass. His stomach was cramping and his legs burned painfully. 

Nathaniel was being held up by one of the backliner’s and the look on his face almost made Kevin sick. Len led him over with a scowl on his face and practically tossed him at Kevin and Riko. 

Kevin had one arm around Riko' s shoulder, but he tried to catch a stumbling Nathaniel with the other. Riko grunted as Kevin leaned more of his weight onto him and Nathaniel fell to his knees anyway. 

“Get up.” Riko ordered but other than sucking in ragged breaths, Nathaniel didn’t move. Kevin could tell he was trying to get up, but his legs must have been dead. Kevin’s legs were dead and Nathaniel was shorter so he would have had to put in more work to keep up with their pace.   

Len and Ronny came back over holding a flat soccer ball and Kevin scrunched his brows. Ronny offered the ball to Nathaniel and Riko tensed against Kevin. 

Kevin could see now that the ball was so flat it formed a makeshift cup and was full of rainwater. They must have found it discarded in the yard because there were a couple pieces of grass floating in it. 

Nathaniel took the ball without hesitation and brought it to his mouth. Kevin wanted to smack it out of his hands, but Riko’s arm tightened around him. 

It was disgusting. There had to be so much dirt and germs in that water, not to mention the soccer ball itself. Kevin couldn’t hide his grimace at the gross display, but Nathaniel didn’t look up at them. 

He drank the whole thing, and Kevin could only hope the grass stuck to the sides instead of going into his mouth. He wiped his mouth and set the ball down at his side, then continued his rapid breathing. 

Riko leaned closer to Kevin’s ear, “Can you stand?”

Kevin leaned his weight off of Riko and nodded. His legs felt like jelly, but he wouldn’t let himself fall. 

Riko gave him a pointed look and Kevin reached down to pull Nathaniel to his feet. His shirt was soaked through with sweat and maybe a little puke too. 

He had opted not to take off his shirt, Kevin realized, but he had rolled his sleeves up onto his shoulder so his arms were bare. 

The extra weight was dreadful for Kevin but he forced himself to stay standing and hold Nathaniel up out of sheer will. 

Nathaniel leaned most of his weight into Kevin as they made their way inside, he was only really good for keeping his balance and not falling over. 

Kevin sent Riko ahead to their own room so he could shower and took Nathaniel to his. He had to fish around into Nathaniel’s pocket to pull out his room key because Nathaniel was practically dead to the world and didn’t try to help. 

Kevin nearly yelped when he found two empty Jif to-go cups. 

“Why the fuck are these in your pocket?” He groaned when he realized there was some peanut butter on his key too. “We’re going to discuss this later.”

Nathaniel didn’t say anything and Kevin shifted him in his hold so he could unlock the door. 

He almost gagged when he stepped into Nathaniel’s room. He hadn’t been there in a while and the state of it now was nothing short of disgusting. 

There were empty plastic water bottles everywhere. Empty to go containers were stacked high on his chair and there was a stack of old bread on his desk. 

There were more Jif cups scattered around. Some were empty but some hadn’t been opened yet.

Dirty clothes were everywhere. Nathaniel hadn’t changed in the locker room after practices and it was clear by the smell of the practice uniforms littering his room.

He didn’t even know where to set Nathaniel down. He took him to the bathroom and saw the floor littered with towels and everything in there was just as disgusting. “Do you eat peanut butter in the shower too?” Kevin grimaced. 

As if being woken from a stupor, Nathaniel shrugged out of Kevin’s hold and held himself up against the wall. He didn’t look at Kevin and he said, somewhat coldly, “Lock the door on your way out.”

Nathaniel stepped into his bathroom and shut the door in Kevin’s face. He heard the lock click a second later and then the shower turned on. 

He turned away from the bathroom and took another look around the room. He felt his eyes start to burn and it wasn’t because of the rancid smell. 

He couldn’t believe his best friend had been living like this. Was this why he didn’t let Kevin in his room anymore? Kevin swallowed the lump in his throat and suddenly the aches in his body didn’t seem like that big of a deal. 

He pressed his ear to the bathroom door but other than the water running it was silent. 

He went to Nathaniel’s closet and found some of the supplies he’d left that Nathaniel clearly hadn’t touched. He filled two trash bags with old food and food containers. He filled three with empty water bottles. 

He found more water bottles and Jifs in Nathaniel’s bed and wondered if a mouse had taken over Nathaniel’s body at some point because what the actual hell.

When he got closer to the bathroom door, he could hear Nathaniel throwing up and debated knocking. The door was locked though and he knew Nathaniel probably wanted to be alone. 

So, he stripped his bed and put all his laundry in a pile by the door with the trash bags. He waited to put the spare bedding on because he still hadn’t showered and he wasn’t going to touch the clean sheets while he was dirty. 

He took the trash to the trash room and made another trip to drop off his laundry. The bathroom was quiet again so Kevin started wiping things down and spraying disinfectant everywhere. 

He knew the bathroom was a mess and was going to clean it when Nathaniel was done, but Nathaniel was taking so long Kevin decided to go back to his room to shower. 

Riko was sleeping in his bed but looked up when Kevin entered. 

“All good.” Kevin whispered and Riko turned back towards the wall and fell back asleep. Kevin had never had a shower feel so good before. 

Not only was his entire body aching, but he was covered in dry sweat and still had the smell of Nathaniel’s room stuck in his nose. 

He thoroughly washed everything three times and when he was in a fresh pair of clothes he felt like he could breathe again. 

He went back to Nathaniel’s room, grabbing fresh towels from the storage room on the way. He gave a cursory knock but let himself in with his key. 

He smiled when the smell that immediately hit him was the air freshener he sprayed. Nathaniel was still in the bathroom and he heard him throwing up again. 

Kevin frowned. This didn’t seem normal. 

He set the towels down on the now clean desk and made Nathaniel’s bed with fresh sheets and blankets. He really couldn’t see anything else to clean so he hopped into his bed to wait for Nathaniel to be done. 

He realized how tired every piece of him was as he got comfortable and couldn’t stop his eyes from closing the second his head hit Nathaniel’s pillow. 

He woke up with a jolt when he heard the bathroom door open and saw the whites of Nathaniel’s eyes for a split second before he dove back into the bathroom.  

“I didn’t see anything!” Kevin rushed out, slapping his hand over his eyes. He really hadn’t seen anything and he wasn’t sure why his face felt so hot. 

“Stupid fucking key.” Nathaniel grumbled and Kevin scrambled up and grabbed on the new towels. 

“Here,” Kevin said at the door, keeping one hand over his eyes.

The towel was yanked from Kevin’s hand and he waited for the door to close to remove his hand. It was quiet for a second then Nathaniel spoke through the door. 

“Can you grab me clothes?”

Kevin went over to his dresser and grabbed him fresh everything. He gave a small knock on the door and Nathaniel stuck his hand out. 

Kevin stood close to the door in case he needed anything else but a few minutes later Nathaniel came out of the bathroom fully dressed and looking like he was two steps from death. 

He took a slow look around his room. “Thanks.”

Kevin didn’t expect him to be overwhelmingly grateful, but the melancholy in his voice was concerning. He went to the stash of Jif and water Kevin had left on his desk, took one of each, and climbed into bed. 

Kevin didn’t know what to say. Nathaniel didn’t always like to talk about what was going on inside his head and Kevin didn’t want to make it harder on him. 

There was really only one thing he always knew he could do and that was to just be there. Kevin peeled back the covers and Nathaniel didn’t protest as he climbed in next to him. 

“It’s every other month.” Nathaniel said after a few minutes of silence. “Thea told me.”

Kevin tried not to let his despair show. “We’ll train for the next one. It will get easier.”

“Maybe for you.” Nathaniel reached over Kevin to drop his now empty water bottle on the floor, but Kevin caught it just as he let go. 

He went to throw it away and grabbed two more waters and two Jifs on his way back. Kevin drank half his water in one go and Nathaniel started on a new peanut butter. 

Kevin thought eating it by itself was gross but he was willing to give it a shot if this was what Nathaniel had been doing. 

He licked the top and tried to pretend it was ice cream. Warm, gooey ice cream. 

“How did we never notice?” Kevin wondered out loud.

“Maybe because we avoid the Ravens like the plague and we’re never up that early.”

“I wonder what else we’ve missed.”

Nathaniel sighed. “As if this isn’t enough.”

“If we can do it once, we can do it again, right?” Kevin asked. 

“That or we’ll die trying.”

“You’re not dying from exy, remember?”

Nathaniel nodded. He finished his cup and took Kevin’s from his hand. Kevin had licked it a few times, but Nathaniel didn’t seem to mind as he finished it off. 

“Do you want to get actual food?”

“I have a charley horse in both my legs.”

Kevin’s eyes widened because Nathaniel wasn’t acting like he had two painful muscle cramps, he was acting like the only thing bothering him was getting the last lick of peanut butter. 

“I’ll grab us something.”

Kevin made his way to the cafeteria and even though it was close to lunch time there weren’t that many Ravens there. They were probably all taking naps after the morning run. 

He grabbed two to-go boxes and piled in chicken, brown rice, baked potatoes and veggies. They must have known about the run because he was sure he’d never seen so many carbs offered at once. They even had bananas out. 

He had a hard time carrying everything because he grabbed two more water bottles and had to set it down to open Nathaniel’s door.

“Baked potatoes and rice?” Nathaniel furrowed his brow. “They’ve been holding out on us.”

Kevin settled on his bed and opened his own plate. Nathaniel took a bite of his cooked carrot and Kevin’s jaw dropped. “Since when do you eat vegetables?”

Nathaniel shrugged. “You put them on my plate.”

“I didn’t think you’d eat them, I just wanted to give you the option.”

“Well…thanks for the option.”

“Wow, you’re really growing up.”

“Shut up. I just don’t want to waste the vitamins.”

“You’re worried about vitamins now too?” Kevin fought not to grin as Nathaniel scowled. “Is that why you’re eating peanut butter like a dog?”

“I’m not like a dog!” he cried indignantly.

“No,” Kevin shook his head. “You’re way less behaved.”

“Oh shut up.” Nathaniel groaned but he was fighting a smile now too. 

“Okay, for real. You’re on a diet now or something?”

“All Ravens are on a diet.”

“Well, yeah, but you’ve never really cared about the micros.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“The vitamins and minerals.”

“Oh.” Nathaniel said around a bite of food. “Yeah ‘suppose so.”

“What are you trying to get more of?”

“Everything?” He shrugged. “I want to be bigger than all of the Ravens.”

Kevin frowned. “Are they bothering you more than normal?”

“No.” Nathaniel poked his potato. “But I don’t want there to be a normal. I want to be able to fight back.”

Kevin didn’t like the idea of Nathaniel fighting even more, but he didn’t think he had a right to tell Nathaniel not to at least try and get as much of an advantage as he could. 

Nathaniel wouldn’t grow overnight anyway, so maybe if practice kept going well, they wouldn’t have to worry about it at all. 

“Alright, we can work with that.”

“We?”

“I'm going to help.”

“I don’t see how you can help. It’s not like you can eat for me.”

Kevin held up his hand to silence his protests. “I’m helping.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes but let it go. 

“How's your legs?”

“Cramps are gone, but it feels like they are buzzing. I don’t know if I can move them.”

“Yeah, my legs are dead too. I don’t think I can get up again.”

“Not even to grab a couple more waters from my desk?” Nathaniel asked hopefully. 

Kevin sighed dramatically but got up to grab a handful of water and set them between the wall and the bed. Nathaniel had already finished his food, so he moved their empty trays to the desk and then climbed back in. “Hope you didn’t need anything else, I’m officially dead.”

“Nah. S’fine.” He said around a yawn. “You can spend the night.”

Kevin knew it wasn’t actually nighttime, but he didn’t see a reason to point it out when they were both two seconds from passing out. 

Sure enough, Nathaniel’s breathing evened out in less than a minute and after Kevin turned out the lamp, sleep took him too.

Chapter Text

October 2000

Someone had leaked to the media that the perfect court had begun training as Junior Ravens. It was a pathetic title, but one the Master had given to lessen the blow of teenage boys practicing with grown men. 

Kevin wasn’t sure if people believed there was a whole team of juniors or if they were just a part of some mentorship program, but everyone took the name and ran with it.

Riko was pissed at the title, claiming it downplayed their importance and hard work, but he couldn’t say that to the Master’s face so Kevin just got earfuls of it at night.

Kevin suspected Riko was the leak. He would never say it out loud, but it seemed the most likely option. Riko wanted to train with the Ravens to impress his father, what better way to ensure his father got the message than tell the whole world?

The Master was pissed when the whole thing went public and suspected it was Nathaniel’s father doing, but Kevin didn’t really know why he would go to the trouble. Maybe he was still mad about the tattoo, but it seemed like a risky move considering their families did business together.

There was also some suspicion that one of the Ravens talked, and even though the Master didn’t believe it, he had been punishing them mercilessly in practice. It was probably meant more to remind everyone to stay quiet, but the Ravens knew better than to talk to the media, especially about something so important. 

Kevin hated most of the team, but there were certain things you could always count on when it came to the Ravens. Secrecy, silence, and obedience were all in the lineup. 

No matter who did the leak, there were now mentions of Nathaniel’s status. Not by name, they were calling him Three, but everyone was eager to know the exy player that caught Riko’s eye.

Kevin thought that was what pissed the Master off the most. Everyone had already known about Riko’s perfect court and the sons of exy. 

If the leak only involved the two of them, they would have been able to show face and make statements that would only give them good publicity. 

But Nathaniel…

Now that they know about him, he was going to have to make an appearance, and Nathaniel was a media trainer’s worst nightmare.

Kevin cringed just thinking about putting him in front of a microphone. Or a camera. Or an interviewer. It would be a trainwreck.

Even if he was told to be quiet, he could picture Nathaniel disobeying and earning himself whatever punishment the Master deemed fit. 

Kevin and Riko would probably suffer too for Nathaniel’s displays, though, and he was sure Riko would do whatever it took to make Nathaniel behave. 

In past years, Kevin and Riko were normally in the tower during Raven games, but the Master had decided that from now on they would sit courtside with the team. 

It was to show how good they were doing as Junior Ravens and kids in general, but also to try and control what the media was saying about them. 

They dressed in nice suits and stayed close enough to the team that it seemed friendly, but far enough away so that they wouldn’t be in their way.

Nathaniel hadn’t attended a game yet this season, because the Master was trying to postpone showing his face for as long as possible.

Kevin didn’t think it was much different from all the other times they had to show face and smile for cameras. They just had to try not take too much attention away from the other players and the Ravens’ wins. 

Everyone seemed excited enough about the development and more buzz was growing about the secret Raven they were hiding.

The team only had one away game so far and the Master didn’t let them attend. He didn’t explain why, which meant it was security reasons that had to do with Moriyama business. 

Kevin had been fine with missing out on the game because he didn’t want to travel that far with all the Ravens, but Riko had some farfetched notion that the Master wasn’t letting him go because his brother or father might be there. 

He had been a total nightmare when they found out they couldn’t go, and it got worse when the Ravens came home with a loss.

Riko swore up and down they wouldn’t lose a single game when they were old enough to play and had gone back to ignoring the Ravens because he couldn’t handle the shame. 

Kevin had been embarrassed for the Ravens too, even more so when they were given the film to watch. He had made a list of their errors, but decided against sharing it because he didn’t want to get his ass kicked. 

The Ravens were always ten times more violent after they lost a game, which luckily wasn’t often, but the longer they went without a loss, the longer they raged after one.

Nathaniel was leaving practice with so many bruises he was starting to look like a dalmatian. Kevin and Riko had scrapes and bruises of their own, but never as many as Nathaniel.

Luckily, Nathaniel had been gaining weight. It was a slow process, very, very slow. But Kevin had kept his promise to try and help him grow and made sure he was eating proper meals and not just peanut butter. 

There were still Jiff cups in his pockets most days, but Kevin let it go and just made sure to take him hot meals whenever he knew he missed dinners. 

Kevin wasn’t sure if the weight he was gaining was enough to make a difference in a fight–or even on the court–but Nathaniel still used the numbers as encouragement. 

He was even more obsessed with building muscle now that he thought he was some sort of celebrity. Riko and Kevin had to keep reminding him that no one actually knew his name, but that didn’t deter him. 

He had such a big head about it, the Ravens had started tormenting him again just to get him to shut up about it. Nathaniel always left the encounters laughing, but naturally Kevin hated the spectacles. 

Riko had been taking shots at Nathaniel when he could as well, but it was never as bad as the Ravens. Kevin hoped that Riko would start going easier on him now that he was going to be a part of their image. 

Kevin and Riko were in their room discussing said image one night after Riko had listened in to the Master’s conversations.

“The Master is going to see to Nathaniel’s media training personally.” Riko said.

“What, like etiquette lessons?” Kevin asked and they both shared a knowing look.

“Yeah. Though probably worse since it's Nathaniel.”

Kevin frowned. Maybe Nathaniel would surprise them and be easier to train than they thought…

“I don’t know when it starts, but he won’t be at practice until he finishes.”

“It can’t take that long can it?” Kevin asked and Riko only looked at him like he was stupid. Kevin knew it would probably take a while but he dreaded the day he would go to practice and Nathaniel would just be gone…again. 

At least he would still be in the nest this time, that was what mattered. He was sure the Master wouldn’t kill him, and as long as Nathaniel behaved, he would be back to him in no time. 

He might not trust Nathaniel’s ability to do what he’s supposed to, but he trusted his ability to learn. He would adapt and when he was ready, he would be allowed to attend games with them.

“I can’t wait for him to be trained.” Riko mused, “I can’t even imagine how peaceful it will be to have a dog that listens.”

Kevin squirmed. He had called Nathaniel a dog before too, but he always meant it as a joke and Nathaniel was always there to hear it and laugh. He was sure Riko didn’t mean it the same way.

“He’s not a dog, really.” Kevin said weakly, because he felt like a hypocrite but he wanted to defend Nathaniel.

Riko ignored him completely. “The Master honestly should have done it sooner. Imagine all the trouble it would have saved us.”

“He’s not that much trouble.” Kevin tried again, but Nathaniel was a lot of trouble. Even he would have laughed at Kevin’s feeble attempt at a defense. 

Riko looked at him like he was an idiot again and shook his head. “I don’t even want to talk to you anymore. I’m going to sleep.”

Kevin felt his face heat at the dismissal, but didn’t try to argue.  He shouldn’t have said anything at all, it’s not like Nathaniel would even know. They both got ready for bed in silence and Kevin didn’t know if he should apologize for upsetting Riko.

He decided against it, knowing the whole thing would be forgotten in the morning, but his mind still fed him guilty thoughts as he tried to fall asleep.

Chapter Text

Nathaniel was a celebrity. Or at least, number three on the perfect court was. Kevin told him not to google himself, but Nathaniel had seen Kevin look himself up more than once, so he ignored him. 

It was pointless, though. Nathaniel tried to pull up news reports, but it got boring really fast. They didn’t mention his name at all and they didn’t even know anything about him. 

The most interesting thing he found were guesses about who he was, but all the guesses they had were exy state champs who were in Riko and Kevin’s age group and that only pissed him off.

He was way better than those chumps.

Kevin and Riko had warned him that he was going to have to get his shit together if he was going to become a part of the perfect court’s image. 

Nathaniel didn’t see a problem with how he acted but knew their “image” was the one thing Riko and Kevin would never budge on, so he didn't argue. Nathaniel still didn’t want to make any changes, but it wasn’t fully up to him.

The Master spent over five weeks training Nathaniel on how to behave in public. It was an unnecessarily long time, in Nathaniel’s opinion. 

He was used to going out with his father, and his father had just as many rules, most of them focusing on him being completely invisible. 

But the Master didn’t just expect Nathaniel to be quiet, he expected him to know what to say at any given moment, and then not say anything at all. 

Nathaniel was especially bad at this because he was better at knowing the worst things to say at any given moment and saying them anyway.

It was tricky to figure out what questions to ignore and what to answer. It resulted in a lot, more than a lot really, of beatings. 

He got hit for using the wrong fork. He got hit for asking a server for more water. He got hit for saying thank you, and he got hit for not saying it too. 

There was never a right answer based on principle, he had to look at the Master’s body language to gauge what he was supposed to do. That was the safest bet but not always fool proof. 

He got hit for standing too quickly, not bowing low enough, and having disgraceful pronunciations of Japanese words. 

He got hit for finishing his food too fast, tapping his foot under the table, and eyeing the dessert for too long. He got kicked for walking too fast and too slow. For walking too close and not close enough.

He got slaps on his wrist for having wimpy arms. 

He got slaps on his back for having bad posture. 

He learned to school his facial expressions because he got hit pretty hard every time his face turned sour, and in the beginning that was quite a lot.

It was a series of getting hit over and over again. He never knew he was capable of messing so much up. 

He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to control things like blushing, sneezing, and blinking, but the Master would hit him for doing those out of turn as well.

The Master had perfected his correction technique, hitting him with a cane which was painful, but it was also aggravating. When he did something especially wrong, the Master resorted to harsher punishments.

The Master said he would be finished when he completed a dinner simulation to perfection. Nathaniel thought that sounded easy enough until he found out the simulations were four hours long. 

The Master would make him restart whenever he messed something up but would space out the attempts depending on how far they got because there was only so much food Nathaniel could eat at a time.

Nathaniel had a hard time making it past the two hour mark most times but slowly got better as the lessons continued and the simulations reset.

They were in a dining room Nathaniel hadn’t been to before, and he was even sleeping in a random bedroom down the hall. He knew the area was connected to the nest, but he never ran into Kevin or any of the Ravens as he was given lessons on walking from his temporary room to the dining room.

He wasn’t allowed to practice exy during this time, when the Master had to leave for training, he would put Nathaniel in a somewhat uncomfortable position and tell him not to move an inch until he returned. The first time, he had relaxed and reset when he knew the Master was about to be there. 

He somehow knew and beat him unconscious. That was another reason it took so long. There were days here and there where he was less than able to perform but forced to do so anyway.

He wondered how quickly Riko and Kevin had been able to pick up all of this nonsense, but knew they were probably both naturals at being stuck up princes. 

The first time Nathaniel had completed a full simulation he hadn’t even realized he had finished. It scared him because for the first time he had almost felt brainwashed. 

He was stuck in his trance of behaving properly and was waiting for a sign from the master on what to do next. The Master had stood and walked over to him, Nathaniel thought he was going to be hit but he stayed perfectly still the way he was taught. 

The Master called him adequate, and Nathaniel knew if it weren’t for the lessons he would have flushed red. It was the first time he didn’t look at Nathaniel like he was a bug under his shoe.

The Master had ordered for the simulation to be run again, but Nathaniel didn’t even feel the urge to complain. He nodded obediently as everything was reset and they did it again and again until the Master was satisfied.

He felt like a robot, or at least like he knew how to perfectly imitate a robot. 

“You look taller,” Kevin admired before his first practice back. “Fixing your posture really helped you out.”

“We really should have done this sooner.” Riko looked Nathaniel up and down. “He might actually be tolerable to look at now.”

Nathaniel only shrugged because he knew he should be happy about it, but it felt weird. His instincts were at war, wanting him to say something snarky while also keeping his composure.

“Do you know if you’re allowed to come to the game this week?” Kevin asked. 

“No,” Nathaniel looked at the court. “Gonna be something fancier the first time out.”

“That wasn’t even a fucking sentence.” Riko smacked the back of his head. “God, you can teach a dog new tricks but it’s still a fucking dog.”

Nathaniel shot him a look but then Kevin was ushering them to court to wait for the rest of the Ravens. The Ravens had made cracks at Nathaniel and his new ability to behave, and Nathaniel could feel himself unlearning everything the Master taught him. 

He was getting angry and flustered and unable to control the things he hissed during drills. Nathaniel found himself checking his surroundings after every insult he threw as if the Master would be waiting with his cane raised. 

After getting checked into the wall from that distraction, Nathaniel had a groundbreaking realization. 

Kevin and Riko were righteous pricks in the spotlight but absolute demons on the court. The Master taught him how to behave, but that was for public appearances and maintaining their image. 

That mattered fuck all on the exy court. 

He stopped trying to tamper down his anger or fix his posture and let his instincts take over again. There wasn’t a “proper” way to play exy. There was just exy and it was brutal and ruthless and everything Nathaniel wanted. 

He felt good. He hated not playing exy for so long, but the rest seemed to give him time to heal. Sure, he was getting beat by the Master every day, but that didn’t cause serious damage. 

The food he was given was always healthy and he even gained a little more weight.

He knew he wasn’t going to be rusty because it was exy and his body remembered the motions more intimately than he remembered anything else, but he was feeling renewed.

Aches and pains in his joints from sprains and old breaks were completely gone. He was well rested and didn’t feel like he was relying on adrenaline to keep standing.

Unfortunately, about halfway through practice, Nathaniel had remembered the Ravens weren’t giving him water breaks. He had forgotten over the weeks of eating regular meals and not being restricted. 

He hadn’t chugged water the night before in preparation and he was starting to feel it. It was nowhere near as bad as that first practice, but it wasn’t easy either. 

He skipped going to the locker room after, as he always did, and went straight to the cafeteria. He sat on the floor by the fridge, grabbing one bottle after the other.

He didn’t pass out or throw up which meant he had built up his tolerance well enough and considered that a win against the stupid team. He knew he had at least twenty minutes until the Ravens started trickling in and he’d have to go back to his room. 

As he sat on the dirty floor, sweaty and panting with water dripping down his chin, he thought of all of his lessons. 

He wondered if they didn’t work, but the fact that he knew every single thing he was doing wrong had to mean they did.

Chapter Text

November 2000

When the time came for him to make an actual public appearance, Nathaniel tried to convince himself it wasn’t another trick. 

He hoped he wouldn’t have gone through the weeks of lessons just to be sent back to his father, but he didn’t really trust the Master not to send him away again.

He was pretty sure he was in the clear when Kevin had told him to come to his room after he showered so he could help him get ready.

Surely if they were all getting ready together it wouldn’t be a trick, right?

Nathaniel anxiously knocked on Kevin’s door, but Riko answered. He scowled and tugged him into the room by his collar. Nathaniel stumbled past him and Kevin turned to him with a smile. 

“Kevin, fix his hair.” Riko ordered. Nathaniel wanted to protest that there was nothing wrong with his hair, but Kevin was already pushing him to sit at his desk. 

He brushed it, then ran his hands through it with something that actually smelt kind of good. Nathaniel reached up to feel but Kevin smacked his hand away.

“Don’t touch, you’ll ruin the volume.”

Nathaniel wasn’t sure what that meant and waited until Kevin turned away to feel it. It was soft and fluffier on the top but the front still fell to his eyes the way he liked it.

There was a knock on the door and Riko answered, coming back with three large bags. He handed Kevin two then unzipped the third. 

Kevin opened the other two bags and handed one to Nathaniel. 

They were suits. All black. 

Riko and Kevin started undressing and Nathaniel took his suit and ran to the bathroom. He heard Riko call him gay as he was shutting the door and felt his face heat, but would rather Riko think he was gay than see the scars on his body anyway. 

He had forgotten he wasn’t in his own room too late and fell back into the door as he caught his reflection in the mirror. 

Kevin asked if he was okay but he didn’t respond. 

He hated his face, but now that he saw it again he couldn’t look away. His red hair, his blue eyes, both his father’s. He looked older than he had the last time he saw his face, but he was still only twelve so he didn’t quite look like a man. 

The cuts on his cheek were horrible. Nathaniel had always hated his looks, but as he leaned closer to the mirror he truly felt ugly. 

He had never really cared to look pretty, not like Kevin did, but the realization that now he would never be able to was disappointing. 

They would never heal. Not properly anyway. 

He didn’t get stitches and the lines were cut too many times when he was in Baltimore. Not only that, but they constantly reopened during training. If it hadn’t been for the five weeks off, they might not have healed at all. 

He looked closer at the pink lines. 

Nathaniel had felt his face being cut over and over, but Lola had been cutting the same spots. He knew he only felt three wounds on each cheek afterwards, but seeing it was weird when he knew his face was cut way more than six times.

He would be lucky if they faded enough to be unnoticeable at a distance, but even then, it would have to be a far distance. No wonder he caught Kevin staring at him sometimes. 

Kevin knocked on the door, startling Nathaniel out of his stupor. “You dressed, Nathaniel?”

“Just a minute!” Nathaniel rushed to undress and put on the suit. He avoided looking in the mirror again and rushed from the bathroom as soon as his shirt was buttoned. 

Kevin and Riko were fully dressed and Nathaniel felt even more intimidated. They looked so much older than him.

They looked good.

Riko was fixing his cuffs and Kevin came to look over Nathaniel. He apparently was one button off when rushing to do his shirt and when Kevin tried to fix it for him, Nathaniel slapped his hand away. 

Kevin scowled, but Nathaniel just turned around so he could fix it himself. He put the black dress socks and dress shoes on next and when Kevin looked him over he nodded his approval. 

Riko came to stand in front of him then, gesturing for him to spin around. Nathaniel did, rolling his eyes when his back was to him. 

Riko nodded his approval too then held out three pieces of black fabric. Nathaniel took them curiously and Kevin watched at his side. 

He lifted the first one and Riko must have realized he didn’t know what it was because he snatched it back. He lifted it to Nathaniel’s face and placed the loops around the back of his ears. 

It was a mask. 

He frowned, though it was now covered. “I can still talk, you know.”

Riko rolled his eyes, “It’s not meant to stop you from talking, though that’s not a bad idea.”

He put his hands on Nathaniel's shoulders and spun him around so he could see his reflection in the mirror. Nathaniel tried not to flinch since they were both watching him.

The black mask covered the whole bottom half of his face. The top line was just under his eyes and it stretched over his nose and went down to his chin. 

The holes were only big enough for his ears so his scars weren’t visible at all. It even covered his tattoo, which Nathaniel was surprised Riko would allow.

Nathaniel wondered if he should be offended, but…

He thought about the reflection he saw earlier and knew he not only needed it, but he wanted it. Kevin had always had perfect skin, he had a perfect face. Riko took care of himself too. None of the scrapes and bruises they got from years of exy ever damaged their appearance. 

Nathaniel couldn’t stand next to them with his face, he would look like a monster. 

“Can you breathe alright?” Kevin asked. 

“That doesn’t matter,” Riko answered for him and gestured to his hands. Nathaniel forgot what else Riko had handed him and lifted them up. 

Black gloves. He looked up to Riko and Riko just shrugged. His fingers were no longer broken, but he had older scars. Some from exy, but most from his father. 

He pulled the gloves on and rubbed his hands together. They felt good. Nathaniel didn’t try to guess if this was Riko trying to help him or insult him. It was probably both, but it didn't matter. 

He considered thanking him, but with the mask on he had a weird urge to stay quiet. 

Riko put two black studs in his ears, Kevin gave a few finishing touches on his hair, and then they were making their way outside. 

Nathaniel stayed less than an inch away from Kevin, just to ensure he wasn’t about to be tossed into a separate cab and sent to Baltimore. 

Kevin gave him a funny look but didn’t say anything as he climbed into the limousine. He did shove him off a little when Nathaniel sat too close and nearly scuffed his shoe. 

The drive was silent and Nathaniel could feel his warm breath hitting his face. The mask didn’t make it hard for him to breathe, it was weird at first but he adjusted easily enough. 

He kind of liked that it hid his face, it made him less worried the Master was going to hit him for making the wrong expression. 

The Master hadn’t said anything about his new look, but Nathaniel knew if he had a problem with the way any of them looked, he would have fixed it before they left.

When they arrived, the Master walked ahead while the three of them followed behind. Riko was in the middle with Kevin and Nathaniel on his sides. 

Nathaniel knew how he was supposed to walk, the Master had ingrained it into him until he didn’t even need to think about it. It was easier with Kevin and Riko there. He felt like he just fell into place with them.

There were cameras flashing everywhere and Nathaniel stared straight ahead like he was supposed to. The Master had only allowed for them to pose once, and Nathaniel was even more grateful for his mask and the fact that no one asked him to take it off.

After the photo, the Master pulled Nathaniel to his side and gave a short statement to some reporters, but Nathaniel was so nervous he wasn’t sure what he said. 

Some of the reporters asked Riko questions about him, and about the three of them, and Nathaniel’s stomach flipped when Riko only said good things about their progress as individual players and as a team.

Kevin answered a few questions in similar fashion and answered any questions directed at Nathaniel.

When they got inside, the Master broke off from the three of them. Nathaniel knew he probably had business to attend to but for a second he wasn’t sure what to do. 

It didn’t matter though because Riko did, and Nathaniel realized he didn’t have to do anything other than follow his lead.

It was weird seeing Riko like this, he was still as arrogant and obnoxious as ever, but he was more restrained. Tame, even. He looked dignified and important and it didn’t escape the notice of other people there. 

Nathaniel thought Kevin looked just as good, the pair of them together was an intimidating sight. 

He wondered if he fit in. He was wearing the same clothes, he had the tattoo. He wasn’t a Moriyama, but neither was Kevin. And with his mask on no one would know he wasn’t pretty enough to be by their side.

Something close to confidence shot through him. Riko wouldn’t have let him come if he looked bad, Nathaniel was fitting in with him and Kevin. He wasn’t a son of exy, but he was perfect court. That’s what people would see when they looked at him. 

Riko engaged in a few conversations, Kevin as well. Nathaniel was not supposed to talk unless it was unavoidable, and Riko always made sure to answer for him or redirect the conversations.

Nathaniel didn’t even mind because the way he and Kevin were talking sounded so regal that he liked that they took over. Even with the Master’s lessons, he would never be able to sound that fancy. 

No one outright asked about the mask, but he was sure Riko had some explanation in his head just in case. 

They had gotten a few compliments from people he had never seen before. One lady complimented his eyes, probably because it was the only part of him she could see, and he was glad the mask hid his frown. 

Everyone loved to call them “handsome young gentlemen” and Riko and Kevin seemed to bask in the praise. 

Nathaniel knew they weren’t talking about him, how could they be when almost all of him was covered? He still felt himself blush each time and was glad the mask hid that too.

The mask was still taking away his urge to talk. It was like he was hiding in plain sight and didn’t want to give his location away. Or maybe it was because he felt like he was hiding his true identity and it would be easier to keep his secret if he was silent. 

He would never admit it to Kevin, and especially not to Riko, but it was actually kind of nice to be invisible. Perhaps because he was used to everyone who saw him beating the shit out of him. 

Or maybe he just knew he would rather be silent than have to filter his words. 

When an older man finally excused himself from a conversation with Riko, they were finally alone. 

“Old bat.” Riko muttered under his breath. 

Kevin’s eyes went wide and he looked around to make sure no one heard, but Riko had barely whispered it. 

A server held out a tray of champagne glasses and both Riko and Kevin took one. Nathaniel considered grabbing one but Riko waved the server off before she could even step in his direction. 

He wasn’t going to question it but Riko pointed to his mask in explanation anyway. Nathaniel had already gotten so used to the mask he forgot about the practicalities. How would he have been able to drink?

Now that he had the cover, he didn’t exactly want to take it off. Especially not for something as silly as bubbly drinks. Though he wondered just how good they were when Kevin finished his in one go.

“Jesus, Kevin, Nathaniel is behaving better than you are right now.”

Nathaniel stood up straighter at the accolade, but Kevin narrowed his eyes at Riko. “I didn’t realize everyone here would be so…old.”

“Not all of the parties can be fun, just be glad no one's pinching our cheeks this time.”

Both of them grimaced and Nathaniel wondered why anyone would ever pinch their cheeks. Was that a weird punishment saved for when they were in public?

Riko turned to Nathaniel then, “You don’t go off alone. You’re by my side or Kevin’s. Got it?”

Nathaniel wanted to roll his eyes, he wasn’t going to burn the place down if he was left on his own, but he nodded his agreement. He already knew that from lessons with the Master anyway.

He was glad there wasn't dinner. He knew he could probably be a passable gentleman from the lessons, but he didn’t want to take his mask off to eat. 

Everyone was looking at him with a sort of awe that would disappear the second they saw his face. Kevin said this was how everyone always looked at them but Nathaniel wasn’t sure he would ever get used to it. 

It warmed him from the inside out and he didn’t want to lose that feeling.

Kevin and Riko continued drinking champagne, but Nathaniel didn’t give any of the servers a second glance. Soon they found themselves involved in conversation with a couple of drunk older men. 

Nathaniel was internally cringing at everything they said, but Riko and Kevin answered their questions deftly, keeping their composure. 

Nathaniel could tell the men were important people, and wondered if they had met them before.

“Come on boy, show us the tattoo!” One of them jeered and Nathaniel’s heart picked up when he realized they were talking to him.

“What, is he mute?” The other one laughed. “He’s not an invalid, is he?”

“No,” Riko put his arm on Nathaniel’s shoulder and pulled him against his side. “Of course not. We are the perfect court.”

“Are you?” The first one asked, looking at Nathaniel again. “Show us your number, mute.”

“His name is Nathaniel.” Riko said simply. “He doesn’t respond to drunken fools so you’ll have to forgive his silence.”

Nathaniel’s heart was really racing now.

The men’s smug expressions died out, but their eyes only became more determined from the insult. 

“We should be on our way.” Kevin said diplomatically. “It was nice talking to–”

“He is numbered, is he not?” The first guy said again, loud enough that people close by were starting to look their way. Kevin glanced around and Riko didn’t look away from the men, but Nathaniel was sure he noticed too. 

They wanted him to take his mask off. 

Riko’s grip on Nathaniel turned harsh and he pulled him so Nathaniel’s back was pressed into his chest. All of the hairs on Nathaniel’s neck stood up and he tried to fight his panic at Riko’s firm hold. 

Riko lifted his left hand to Nathaniel's cheek and everyone around them was watching with eager eyes. Nathaniel swallowed thickly and tried to school his face the way he knew he was supposed to. 

Riko hooked his pinky on the mask and pulled it down just enough to reveal his tattoo. 

He left it uncovered for three seconds then moved his hands back to Nathaniel’s shoulders. “We really should be going now.”

He steered Nathaniel past the men who seemed sullen despite getting what they wanted. Perhaps what they really wanted was to catch them in a lie and make them look stupid. 

Who looks stupid now?

None of them discussed the encounter further, and soon after the Master found them and summoned the car. The drive back to the nest was just as silent as the drive there. 

Nathaniel didn’t mind because he kept thinking about every aspect of the night over and over. Was that what it was like to be perfect court? Is that what he had to look forward to?

He’d probably get tired of the stuffy rooms and rich pricks, but all in all it wasn’t a bad experience. 

He did what he was supposed to and not even Riko or the Master were upset with him for his behavior. Even Kevin seemed somewhat proud. 

Nathaniel looked out the window, but sat up a little straighter for the rest of the drive.

Chapter Text

The Ravens fall season was coming to an end. Most of the home games were at the beginning of the season, which Nathaniel hadn’t been permitted to attend. The away games seemed to be stacked at the end, which none of the three of them were allowed to attend.

The Ravens were getting ready for another away game this week, and practice tended to get rougher the closer they got to game days. Nathaniel was fighting for his life as they were sent to run laps. 

He wasn’t sure who messed up, but it must have been bad because the entire team was being punished. After ten laps, they were put back into drills without a break. 

They were doing a full scrimmage so the Ravens were only split into two teams—the starters and the reserves. This meant Kevin, Riko, and Nathaniel were all on the same team. 

It wasn’t so bad, since they were consistently being subbed in and out, but Nathaniel was already more worn out than normal from finishing laps. 

During one of his dizzy spells, Kevin had tossed him a water bottle on his way back to the bench but it was intercepted by Asher. 

“Pass that to Nathaniel.” Kevin said offhandedly. 

“No can do.” Asher shook his head.

“And why not?” Kevin said, looking between the two of them.

“He hasn’t earned it.” Ronny said with a cheeky smile. Riko, who must have sensed Kevin’s growing irritation at not getting what he wanted, made his way over.

“He’s about to pass out, just hand it over.” Kevin said and Nathaniel could tell he still wasn’t getting it. Whether he thought they were just looking for a quick fight, or being difficult Nathaniel wasn’t sure. 

Riko, who was less naive and just cruel enough to understand, was quicker on the uptake. Nathaniel could tell from the way he was looking him up and down with scrutiny.

“Give it over.” Riko ordered. Nathaniel tightened his grip on the bench. He wouldn’t sit down and look weak, but he really wanted that damn water. 

Asher snorted, looking to Ronny but Riko swung before anyone could say anything else. He slammed Asher against the wall with a tight hold on his jersey. 

Asher was bigger than Riko, a good couple inches taller and even though Riko had more muscles than your average striker, he was smaller than the backliner.

Still, he had the advantage since he moved just as Asher looked away. A cheap trick, yes, but Nathaniel was not complaining. It was a glorious sight. 

For whatever reason, Asher did not hit Riko back and no one else intervened. Nathaniel suspected their glances towards the Master had something to do with it.

Asher grimaced then threw the bottle at him without looking his way. Nathaniel wasn’t ready so it smacked his chest, but he caught it before it fell to the ground. 

He didn’t even care about the fight anymore, he squeezed the bottle and started drinking, relishing the feeling he had been deprived of for so long. 

It was so much nicer to have water when you were only halfway to death instead of toeing the edge. When Nathaniel had his fill, Asher and Ronny were already subbing back onto the court.

“You haven’t had water all practice?” Kevin asked and he looked so slighted that Nathaniel laughed. “This isn’t funny, Nathaniel!”

“He’s laughing at you, idiot.” Riko said and Nathaniel promptly stopped. “How long?”

Nathaniel hesitated. Kevin might have a meltdown but Riko would probably hit him if he felt he was lying. “Since the beginning.”

Kevin’s jaw dropped. “You mean since August?”

“That would be the beginning.” Riko narrowed his eyes at Kevin and Nathaniel looked away.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m not gonna go crying to you bout every little thing.” Nathaniel crossed his arms over his chest. What a joke. As if he couldn’t handle the Ravens himself. He was alive, wasn’t he? He was still playing exy, wasn’t he?

Kevin would shit himself if he knew what Nathaniel had gone through at home. 

Kevin looked affronted, but Riko was looking at him in a way that made Nathaniel stand up straighter. Riko held up his hand stopping Kevin from saying anything further. 

“It’s done now. Just shut up about it, Kev.”

“But he could have been–”

“Stop being so sensitive.” Riko said, sounding bored. “God, it didn’t even happen to you so just stop whining already.”

None of them said much more after that. He hated seeing Kevin treated that way, but he was the one who wanted Kevin to stop fussing about it first. 

Nathaniel still tried to catch Kevin’s eye, but he was too busy sulking and Riko ignored them both. They all subbed in a few more times and Nathaniel couldn’t stop the grin that broke out on his face the next time he went for water with no pushback. 

It was stupid to gloat, probably, but he winked at Asher as he took his next drink. Gave cheeky smiles for every scowl. Yeah, fuck you bastards.

They’d probably get back at him for it later, but he was hydrated and felt on top of the world. He still avoided the locker room after practice ended, he wasn’t ever planning on showering near any of them.

It was easy enough to slip away, he hadn’t talked to Kevin or Riko much more, and hoped Kevin wouldn't try and talk about the water thing again. 

Now that practice was over he could really think about what happened. Asher was such a prick, he wished he had a video of him getting socked. 

Hopefully he came to the next practice with a bruised face, Nathaniel knew Riko could hit pretty hard if he was angry enough. That made him even more surprised that no one had tried to hit Riko back.

The Ravens had picked on Nathaniel since he arrived, he was the youngest and often alone because he didn’t have a partner. Nathaniel knew they didn’t ever get too physical with Kevin and Riko, but was Riko completely immune?

He always thought he was favored because he was building the perfect court, but was it something more? Did it have to do with him being a Moriyama?

He knew Riko had more power than Kevin in the nest, but how far did that go? Another question kept popping into the back of Nathaniel’s mind that he wished would go away. Did Riko hit Asher for what he did to Nathaniel, or was it simply because he defied him?

Did it matter?

Riko and Nathaniel had never been friends exactly, but he did help him, no matter what the motive was. God, his life would be so much easier if he had Riko’s protection from the Ravens.

Was that what it was, protection?

If Nathaniel thought this meant anything, he was proven wrong the next practice when Riko broke two of his fingers. They were scrimmaging again, this time on different teams. 

Nathaniel was always eager to prove himself when he went against Riko because they were so in tuned with each other’s playing style.

But, Riko played dirty sometimes and he didn’t always win against him. It had hurt, but Nathaniel was more pissed than anything. 

They were shoving against each other, as they normally did, and Nathaniel’s fingers got caught in Riko’s netting. Instead of slowing down, Riko twisted and yanked to get himself free.

He did get free, and Nathaniel heard the cracks and saw white for a few seconds. Riko used the advantage to break away and score, putting his team down a point.

It was only the pinky and ring finger on his left hand, luckily, and he was still able to hold his racquet. He had only been pulled to the side for a minute to have them wrapped then he was put back on the court.

Riko was able to get his racquet out of his hands shortly after, scoring again. They weren’t able to make up those points, even when Nathaniel was subbed out. 

Everyone on his team glared at him, shoulder checking and swatting him with their racquets if they were close enough after the loss.

If Kevin or Riko saw this, they didn’t come over or mention it. Nathaniel was serious when he said he wasn’t going to go crying to them about everything, though, and didn’t call any attention to it. 

He stomped on toes–somewhat childishly–and jutted his chin. That got him hard smacks on the back of his head, and it was starting to feel like an endless cycle.

He thought his status was going to go up since he was publicly a part of the perfect court, but it seemed he was wrong. His mostly covered face was in exy news, but he was still the same backliner the Ravens used as a punching bag. 

Riko didn’t say anything about what he did to his fingers, though Nathaniel had long since given up on expecting any sort of apologies or signs of regret from him.

Kevin offered to check on them when he passed him on the way to the cafeteria, but Nathaniel waved him off. By then, the nurse had put splints on them and wrapped them with so much tape he considered the matter dealt with.

Despite the broken fingers, he was feeling pretty lively after practice since he wasn't dying of dehydration. In the last few weeks, he had gotten a lot better with not passing out or throwing up after each one, but it was a relief not to have to worry about it at all. 

He even thought he might do some schoolwork since he’d have the extra time. He wasn’t doing as well as he’d done in his classes last year, but there was still time to change that. 

They were switching to the winter training schedule soon, where they practiced twice a day with no lessons. Nathaniel wanted to catch up on all of his work before then. 

He was sure he could do it, he might lose a little sleep, but it would prevent him from punishments from his teacher which was what he was really going for.

He settled into bed with his to-go plate and pulled up a video on integers and variables. It was easy enough to grasp so he moved onto ancient cultures next.

He had to go back and forth with taking notes and eating, being careful not to get food on his taped fingers, but he managed just fine.

Chapter Text

Kevin sat in his bed, staring across the room. Riko was lying on his back, tossing an exy ball to himself over his head.

“Did the Ravens stop throwing parties, or did we just stop going?” 

“Both. No one wants to sit around in a basement drinking cheap alcohol with the same faces we see every day.”

Kevin frowned. He and Riko still drink in their room sometimes, especially after a visit with the Master.

Riko sighed loudly as if he knew where Kevin’s thoughts were going. “You’re different.”

Kevin nodded, even though Riko wasn’t looking at him. “Do you think when we’re older, we’ll be in charge of throwing the parties?”

“If it’s not thrown by us, then it’s not happening.” Riko said plainly. “And whatever we do will be a lot more entertaining than that.”

Kevin thought the parties were entertaining enough but didn’t say. They were getting repetitive, he just hadn’t minded at the time. Though, he did think he preferred to just hangout in their room and drink there.

“Do you want to get drunk?” Riko asked out of nowhere. 

“What?” Kevin’s eyes widened. 

“You’re the one asking about shit. Is it your way of asking for drinks without actually asking?”

“No, that wasn’t what I was trying to do.” Kevin said, feeling a little ashamed. That wasn’t what he was trying to do. Sure they hadn’t gotten drunk for fun in a while, but it’s not like he was chasing the feeling.

“Shame. I would have been game.”

“You would have?” Kevin asked, surprised.

“Yeah. The teams already left, no practice, I can get the governess to cancel lessons.”

“How?”

“Money, duh.”

“Right.”

“So…”

“So…”

Out of nowhere Riko threw the ball fast at Kevin’s head and his next words were so rushed Kevin didn’t process them until it was too late. “Ifyoucatchthisthenwe’regettingdrunk.”

Kevin looked from the ball in his hand to Riko’s smirk. “Asshole.”

Riko laughed then went to his closet. He returned with two bottles, both vodka but one was flavored. 

“Pineapple?”

“Wasn’t my choice, obviously.” Riko grumbled. 

“Should we get something to mix it with?”

“Yeah, not a bad idea. But first.” Riko flicked the cap off of the other one and took a couple drinks. His face cringed as he swallowed then he passed the bottle to Kevin. 

Kevin took a few drinks and coughed a bit. 

“Another one for good luck.” Riko smirked. 

“What do we need luck for?” Kevin asked and took a drink anyway. 

“Sneaking into the kitchens.” Riko took the bottle for another drink of his own. “They only put water in the fridges but they have to have something in the back. That they cook with or whatever.”

“Yeah, good thinking.” Kevin nodded and tried not to be terrified at the prospect of getting caught. Riko handed the bottle back and Kevin took another drink. “What’s the plan?”

“Get you drunk enough to not care about getting caught.”

“What? I wasn’t–” Kevin scowled then took another drink. “Asshole.”

Riko just laughed. “You’re so predictable. No one's even going to care.”

“Chef might. He has all those knives and remember that time we saw his apron was covered in blood?”

They both shuddered. “Yeah, he’s a real creep.”

“We can go right after dinner is served when he’s gone. Shouldn’t be long and we can drink the regular until then.”

“Yeah, good shout.”

“What should we do until then?”

“We could play a game.”

“Exy?”

“No, like a drinking game.”

“Oh, right. That sounds good.”

“I would say truth or dare but I already know everything about you so truth would be pointless.”

“I know everything about you too.” Kevin pointed out.

“And you probably wouldn’t do any of my dares or give me any good ones.”

Kevin made to protest then thought better of it. He probably wouldn’t like any of Riko’s dares and best not to tempt him. 

“No girls is really limiting our options…”

“I have an idea!”

“Is it a good one?”

“Yeah. We might need to go to a study room, though.”

They found the closest study room, hiding the alcohol in a bag even though no one was around. The space was about the size of a small classroom with two tables and six chairs. 

 They rearranged, pushing the tables and chairs flush to the wall. There was a table and chair against the far walls and two chairs equidistant against the other two.

“Alright, let’s hear it.”

“You got the ball?”

Riko tossed it to Kevin and he caught it in his right hand. He looked around the room to make sure it was set up well. 

“Okay.” Kevin threw the ball hard at the wall and they both stepped to the side as it ricocheted and hit a few more surfaces then Kevin caught it again. “First touch has to be a wall, but each chair it hits after is a drink for the other person.”

“What about the tables?”

“If you hit a table then you have to drink.”

Riko grinned. “Easy enough.”

Kevin thought so too, but the hope was that it would get harder the more they drank. He let Riko go first and had to jump out of the way again. He hit two chairs and Kevin took two drinks.

Kevin took his turn, hitting two chairs as well but knowing if he had thrown just a little harder then he would have had three. Riko drank some more and they both threw a few more times, always hitting at least one chair. 

“New rule.” Riko declared. “After the third bounce, we can intercept.”

 “You’re on.” Kevin grinned and served the ball. Wall, chair, wall, catch. “Damn, that was going to hit another chair too.”

“No chance.” Riko took his drink and served. Kevin caught it on the fourth bounce and had to drink twice. They kept going until Kevin thought of something else.

“New rule. If you hit one of the chairs next to the tables then that’s two drinks.”

Riko shrugged then served. Of course, he was aiming for the chairs close to the tables. He hit it on the third bounce and Kevin was going to catch the rebound but pulled back just in time for the ball to whiz by. 

Riko started laughing but it died when the ball smacked the table and Kevin jumped forward before it could hit anything else. He smirked, taking his two drinks then passing the bottle to Riko so he could take his. 

“New rule. Call a touch and drink double.”

“Do I have to say when it hits or just what it’s going to hit.”

Riko hummed. “If you call both correctly, I’ll drink double for the next two turns. If you’re wrong about either then you have to.”

Kevin grinned. “Corner chair, third touch.” It nearly missed, but he hit it on the third touch. Kevin pointed to Riko cheekily and he groaned. Then it was his turn to do the same when Riko hit his called mark. 

“New rule. Rearrange.”

They moved the chairs a bit. One was in a corner, two were moved closer together. One of the tables was shifted so it was sticking out from the wall and the other was turned on its side. 

Kevin served and when the ball almost hit him he realized he was more drunk than he thought. Riko must have been feeling it too because when he caught the ball it had already had five touches. 

They still kept playing, their aim getting somewhat worse. Calling their shots became too big of a risk and tables were being hit more often but that only made them laugh. 

When the ball was moving so fast—or maybe it was Kevin moving slowly—that the rebound hit him in the back, Riko bent over laughing and Kevin fell to the ground dramatically. 

“Foul.”

Riko came and sat down next to him. “Think it’s about dinner time.”

Kevin lifted his head, he was feeling peckish. “Should we put the room back in order?”

“Nah, it was fun, we might play again.”

Kevin grinned at the compliment, “Yeah, sure.”

They made their way to the cafeteria, somewhat drunkenly. It wasn’t so bad that Kevin couldn’t walk functionally, but it was enough that he definitely wasn’t scared of getting caught. 

He was feeling pretty good, actually. 

Riko walked through the door to the kitchens like he owned the place. Kevin glanced back and forth enough to make himself dizzy and Riko smacked the back of his head. 

“You’re going to make yourself fall over.”

Kevin thought he wasn’t wrong and put his hand on the tables as they passed by. They found the walk in fridges and Kevin grinned when he spotted cranberry juice. 

“That’s such pussy shit, Kev.” Riko groaned, but grabbed it anyway. 

“I’m hungry, too.” Kevin whispered and Riko pointed towards the tables where they prep food. Kevin thought they would find sandwiches or fruit, but they both stopped as they got closer.

“Woah.”

Trays and trays of sweets. Cookies, brownies, pastries. There was plastic wrap covering each tray as if they were saving them for later.

“They made dessert?” Kevin said with disbelief. “We’re not allowed to have any of this.”

“They made them for themselves.” Riko looked at all of the plates. “Fat fucks.”

He looked back to Kevin and the second they made eye contact they both started laughing until they lost their breath. “Look, those cookies have M&M’s.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Riko went over and Kevin thought he was just going to grab one, but he picked up the whole plate. “Grab one. This one had brownies too, so get something else.”

Kevin picked one that had different types of cookies and a few different pastries. Riko spotted a bag of corn chips and since he was carrying the cranberry juice, nodded at Kevin to grab them. 

They went back to the study room because that was where they left the alcohol. Too late did they realize they didn’t have cups. 

“Whatever, we’ll just chase it.”

Kevin agreed, and though he wasn’t sure what that meant, it was easy to figure out by watching Riko. Kevin’s first drink of the pineapple vodka had him pleasantly surprised but Riko was watching him as if waiting for his reaction. “Uh. Tastes like shit.”

Riko nodded and slid him the juice. “Thought the same thing.”

Kevin thought the juice tasted worse than the vodka but kept that to himself. They unwrapped the dessert trays and opened the chips. Riko already devoured two of his cookies and Kevin took a brownie which melted on his tongue. Sugar was such a dangerous thing. 

They talked about exy and continued to drink, neither of them commenting on how they were chasing it less and less. 

Riko somehow knew some of the drama going on between some of the Ravens. Who was hooking up with who and which partners hated each other more than they liked each other.

After his third brownie, Kevin quit the snacks.

“Let’s play some more of your handicapped exy.”

“We are not calling it that.”

“Fine, name is a work in progress, but we’re still playing.”

“Alright.” Kevin pushed all of the snacks behind the table turned on its side so they wouldn't get hit. He felt a little unstable when he first stood up, but once he righted himself, he was sure he was good to play. 

Riko served first and by then they stopped chasing the vodka completely. Kevin’s first throw was awful. He had been cocky and tried to call his shot but missed completely. 

“Double for two rounds.”

“Fuck off.”

Riko grinned then threw again hitting two chairs. 

“Fuck.”

Kevin made up for it with his next throw, hitting his called shot so they were both drinking double. Again and again they served and drank.

“New rule.” Kevin said, and it might have been a little slurred. “Hit the table, you have to eat a cookie.”

He thought it would be a punishment because he felt like he would be sick if he kept eating, but Riko’s next throw hit the table on the second bounce and he ran to collect his prize. 

Kevin laughed as he caught the rebound and took his drinks. He served before Riko could stand up again, which he might have done on purpose. 

“Cheater!” Riko hissed, scrambling to his feet to try and get the rebound. “That’s gotta be a false start.”

“Fine.” Kevin rolled his eyes but chuckled. “What are penalties?”

They both thought for a minute, Riko eating his cookie and Kevin accidentally getting distracted by other thoughts. 

“I’ve got it.” Riko declared. “You have to stand in the middle of the room and throw the ball as hard as you can with your eyes shut.”

Kevin couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “That’s gonna hurt like a bitch if it hits.”

Riko grinned. “Yeah, that’s the point.”

Kevin was just drunk enough to agree and took his spot, closing his eyes.

“You have to spin around three times before you throw.” Riko added as he was about to lift his arm.

“I’m gonna be sick.” Kevin protested. “Or fall over.”

“You’re fine. It’s just to make sure you can’t plan out your throw.”

Kevin snorted and spun what he assumed was about three full turns. He still thought he had a general idea of where everything was and aimed accordingly. 

The first thud was closer than he anticipated—a terrible sign—but he kept his eyes closed and tried not to flinch. Two more thuds then there was a sharp pain in his calf. 

He yelped, more out of surprise than pain. His eyes snapped open and Riko was laughing his ass off as Kevin hopped on his good leg. Kevin was too drunk to feel the pain, but he felt the knot as he rubbed the spot it hit. 

“Fuck.”

Riko handed him the vodka, shaking his head. “You almost hit me with that throw.”

“Next time.” Kevin grinned cheekily. His next throw was so off he didn’t hit any chairs before the ball was intercepted. Riko laughed, then had the same luck. 

They were both quite drunk, but kept throwing for the fun of it. Drinking became more leisurely too as the game became secondary to their conversation.

Eventually they resorted to just throwing the ball back and forth while they talked shit about the team. Kevin thought the goalies were too easy to score on and Riko thought the dealers didn’t know how to pass.

When Kevin completely forgot to catch Riko’s pass and it hit his chest, they decided to call it a night. They left the room how it was, only taking the nearly empty vodka bottles with them back to the room. 

Kevin made a mental note to come back in the morning and fix it up but the team wouldn’t be back for another two days so there wasn’t a rush. 

Kevin was worse on his feet as they walked through the nest again and Riko’s hand trailing the wall said he was in a similar state. 

When they got to their room, Kevin’s bed had never looked so good. Riko caught him by his shirt, pulling him back then pushing forward a bit when Kevin stumbled too much.

“Brush your teeth or you’ll hate yourself tomorrow.”

Kevin groaned, he just wanted to lay down. He knew Riko was right, but right now he didn’t care at all about tomorrow. He dragged his feet to the bathroom, Riko following behind. They had two sinks so they both brushed their teeth at the same time.

Kevin kept his eyes closed, getting sleepier and more drunk by the second. How did that work when he wasn’t even drinking anymore?

“You got toothpaste on your shirt.” 

Kevin frowned and pulled his shirt off, tossing it into the dirty clothes bin. He collapsed onto his bed and tried to ignore the spinning room. 

He heard Riko stumbling around the room then felt something hit his back. “Wuz tha?”

“Shirt.”

“Mm…blanks,” Kevin slurred. He lifted his arm but it only flailed a bit then fell back over his head. He opened one eye and watched Riko climb into his bed. “We still dint name the game. Handpapped eggsy is not...”

“Just eggsy then.”

“Mkay, sounds goo.”

“Going to sleep.”

“G’night.”