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Ratchet walked into the restricted area of the Ark, only the highest ranking Autobots (and himself) had access here since it was here where they kept all of the top secret information. And the medical records he needs to update.
He walked past the meeting room, which was being used. Odd. He didn't know that there was going to be one, especially at this late hour. He normally didn't want to attend these meetings (unless it was just him and Optimus) but he would still like to know about these!
Curious, he took a peek inside to see what they were doing, it was Optimus and the rest of the high command. They were all sitting at their seats around a meeting table watching something. The only two empty seats were Mirage and Skyfires.
“What's going on?” Ratchet spoke up.
“Ratchet!” Optimus gestured at Ratchet to join him.
“We are just watching Skyfire secretly meeting up with Thundercracker!” Jazz said, like they were watching a tv drama.
“What? Does he know about this?” Ratchet went and sat on the armrest of Optimus's seat. At this angle he could get a better view of the projection, it showed several angles of Skyfire with Thundercracker from hidden cameras.
“... No.” Optimus admitted, scratching his helm.
“He just wanted to watch someone else fumble worse than him.” Jazz leaned over from the chair beside them to say to Ratchet. There was a small offended “hey” from the Prime.
“Fumble?”
“You know, mess up on flirting?”
“I know what fumbling means! Why is he flirting with the enemy? And why are you just watching?!” Ratchet didn't even try to defend his lover.
“I noticed Skyfire was disappearing sometimes and I got suspicious, I followed him one day and found out he was meeting up with a Con to talk.” Prowl said. “Mirage set up some cameras and mics earlier so we can observe.”
Blaster popped in to Prowl translate, “Prowl got worried about Skyfire's safety and installed cameras to watch.” The cop car only crossed his arms. “Me and Jazz started to join in when they were flirting so bad we couldn't look away, Mirage joined in because he wanted to see an Autobot and Decepticon get along, and Prime doesn't like that we’re doing this but he's still watching.”
Optimus clarified, “If Skyfire manages to dissuade Thundercracker from harming any more life with his friendship, I fully trust Skyfire's intuition, and I don't want to invade his privacy. This is the only time I'm allowing this in order to get a sense of if Thundercracker is going to harm him, we will stop watching and have a conversation.”
“Yeah, ‘friendship’”
"Thundercrackers been dropping hints for some un-friendship like things and Skyfire missed all of them” Blaster and Jazz giggled.
“Aww come on, I haven't even gotten the chance to see this for myself!”
Ratchet was getting curious and slid down to Optimus's lap for a more comfy seat. The semi truck wrapped his arms around his waist to lock him in and put his head on his helm as Ratchet settled in.
“Alright.” The Prime crumbled immediately.
The other members who had to watch this were all thinking the same thing.
‘That seemed… well practiced.’
‘WHAT DO THEY DO IN THAT CHAIR.’
‘Note: never sit in Primes chair’
“Are they arguing?” Ratchet pointed out. The three refocused on looking at the more awkward pair of lovebirds. They did seem more agitated in their body language.
“Hmm, Prowl unmute the cameras again.”
He pressed a remote button, the group heard Skyfire's voice from the lower quality microphone, “-and that new episode was horrible! Artistic design aside, they called some sort of aquatic creature a dolphin but the cgi showed that its tail was moving side to side! The spine can't do that!”
“They should have known this too, they're a marine biologist!” Thundercracker said, more expressive than anyone in the high command ever saw him.
The jets just ranted about this show for the next 10 minutes until Jazz remuted the microphones. “They were doing terrible flirting earlier, I swear.”
“I thought the show was good…” Blaster said sadly, "I didn't think he'd be such a hater!”
Ratchet tilted his head skeptically, “it seems like they're just having a book club meeting, but for haters. I respect it, wonder if I can join actually.”
Jazz gestured towards the screen, “Dude, earlier, Thundercracker tried to hold his hand by touching it, then chickened out and said that he was ‘smacking a mosquito’”
“We don't even have blood?”
“Exactly!”
“Wow, Thundercracker is really bad at this -”
Prowl raised a finger, “Uh, guys? They're making out.”
In the short time that they were muted the jets were indeed locking lips, Skyfire beginning to push Thundercracker down-
“Prowl! Cut the cameras!” Optimus ordered, he quickly turned off the screen while Blaster sent a message to Mirage asking what they missed.
Optimus cleared his throat, “I think we've seen enough. Skyfire is not in any danger but we will have to discuss this with him further. Like mature adults.”
“How did they get from talking about a show to that?!” Jazz pointed at the blank screen.
Prowl rubbed his chin, “Maybe that's just how Decepticons flirt, by yelling at each other.”
Blaster shrugged. "How did that work on Skyfire? Speaking of,” he pulled up messages on the screen “Mirage has been messaging me that things are heating up and he's stuck hiding in a bush since he ran out of invisibility.”
From: Mirage 😶🌫️
‘- and Skyfire said something along the lines of, ‘wow you're so right and hot, can I kiss you’ and Thundercracker said, ‘ok’. Then they started kissing’
‘I'll grab the camera from the tree and then I'll roll out’
‘invisibility ran out. Hopefully they don't see me in this bush before I can recharge.’
‘they are really going at it’
‘the situation is escalating, and I am trapped in this spot’
‘did not expect to watch a con get spiked by a friend today’
'cross factional interfacing that isn't even that bad, but on dirt?! How unsophisticated!'
Prime sent a message:
‘Can't you drive out of there?’
Mirage replied:
‘My invisibility is still recharging and the only way out that's not muddy is where they are (￣–￣)’
Optimus sighed, “we should probably tell him to not interface outside either, humans could see. I know it may be an uncomfortable subject to talk to him about but it's necessary to communicate our-”
Blaster couldn't hold it in any longer and asked, “Optimus. Did you fuck Ratchet on this meeting room table?”
Said medic in his arms put on a cute, innocent smile while Optimus's processor buffered.
“Ahem- I will use the human law of pleading the 5th.”
Everyone squinted their eyes at the Prime until Ratchet came to his aid, “Oh relax, we sterilized this place way better than you guys in the interrogation room!” Jazz and Prowl side eyed each other.
“Anyways. We will reconvene once Skyfire and Mirage gets back.”
A notification brought their attentions back into Mirage's Messages:
‘I think they're finished?’
‘They shook hands’
‘Uh oh’
‘Emergency! I've been caught!’
Another ping, it was a new message from Skyfire:
'Can we organize a meeting.'
From Blaster:
'One step ahead of you big guy'