Chapter Text
"Having girl problems, Jack?"
Both the boys turned to see Sophie finish traipsing up the stairs, her own pink school bag over her shoulder. Jack and Jamie shared a look, then Jamie hedged, "I don't think this is a twelve-year-old girl kind of problem, Sophie."
"Wait, no. No." Jack's grin bloomed. "This is exactly a twelve-year-old girl kind of problem. And I am man enough to admit it."
Jack turned to Jamie's little sister, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "So, it's like this. There's this guy. . ."
"Uh-huh." Sophie didn't even bat an eye at that part. The Bennetts were kind of awesome like that.
"I think he likes me but he has no idea how to talk to me. He won't leave me alone."
"Is he cute?"
"He would probably kill me if I called him cute," Jack stated gravely. "Think . . . refined, okay? He's all . . . old-fashioned noble." Jack dissolved into hand-waving because he was so not expecting the little blonde girl with her walls plastered with Justin Bieber to appreciate that Pitch was . . . something else.
"So. . . is he mean?"
"I don't think he means to be. He's prickly." Jack frowned. "No one talks to him, so he doesn't know how to deal with anyone anymore. I think everyone shuts him out or picks fights."
A tiny line drew between Sophie's brows as she leaned against the door frame. "That's kinda sad. And lonely."
"That's what I thought."
"Is he a jerk?"
Jack burst out laughing at the unexpectedly frank question. "Well, yeah. Kind of goes with the prickly bastard territory and his . . . profession."
"But you like him." Sophie nodded.
Jack leaned back and tilted his head at her. "You're a lot more sure about that than I am, little missy. He's . . . He could have been a lot meaner. I don't want to just brush him off like everyone else, y'know?"
"You like him, or you wouldn't want to give him a chance." Sophie had the same gleam in her eye as every match-making little girl that ever was. "So. . ."
"I don't expect he's going to change for me." Jack rolled his eyes, trying to head off that particular fantasy at the pass. "Preeeetty sure he's set in his ways by now."
Nothing like oh-god-who-knows-how-long to get used to being a stubborn and standoffish bastard. No point in even worrying about the age difference; Pitch was freaking immortal. Everyone was probably a tiny fraction of his age.
"But you like him as a jerk anyways, so why would you want him to?"
The Bennetts were, as always, an oasis of unexpected sanity in a crazy world. Jack was pretty sure Jamie was fervently trying to ignore the entire girl-talk conversation. "So what do you suggest, miss?"
"Make sure he's not too much of a jerk to date." Sophie nodded sagely. "And teach him how to do it properly. Because if he's too big a jerk you should dump him. You're better than that, Jack."
Jack would have probably been dying with laughter at any other time, but Sophie's earnestness was touching. "Thanks, Soph. You're a gem."
"Sure." She glanced at Jamie's clock. "I gotta go to practice. See yah."
"Bye, Sophie." Jamie finally turned back from his computer.
"Later, squirt." Jack waved her off, then raised his eyebrows at Jamie. "The guru has spoken. She's going to give you such hell when she starts dating."