Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Takumi…  Everyone…”

Another punch to the side.  Another claw in his back.  Still, he kept picturing that one precious moment that was not real.

“It’s unfortunate I won’t get to witness how things turn out for you, but…I’m praying for your victory.”

His finger rested on the button that would detonate the undying flame bomb, but he hadn’t pressed it yet.

“No, actually…”

They were all here.  He could get them all.  The kids would be safe.

“I’m praying…for your…happiness…from the bottom…of my…heart.”

…

What was he waiting for?

It was time.  He’d done all he could do.  It was time for his buggy, corrupted, defective self to burn out.  All he had to do was press down.

…

“One last strike!”

Heat surrounded him, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling.  The undying flame bomb would have burned him, turned him into nothing but ash in the wind, but these flames bent around him, scorching away only what its maker wished them to.  In an instant, the weight that had been pressing down on him disappeared.  He’d been hunched over, shielding his bag from the onslaught, but now he collapsed to his back and just breathed.

“Eito!  Hang on!”

Something landed near him and a surge of energy went through his body.  Breathing became a little easier as his broken ribs pulled back away from his lungs.  That was nice.  It would make dying a bit less painful.

Another surge.  Some of the smaller wounds closed up.  Another.  His shoulder snapped back into place.  Another.  His nose corrected itself.  It wasn’t enough.  There was so much to fix.

“Eito!”

Two sets of footsteps bounded towards him.  He tried to greet them with a warm smile despite the pain in his jaw.  “Hey there.  You two went for a long walk today.”

“You idiot!”  Takumi’s voice was attempting to be harsh, but the fear was omnipresent.  “I told you that you didn’t have to leave!”  No, no, it wasn’t all fear.  Guilt was a big part too.

“Just hang on, Eito!”  Nozomi’s hands were on him, examining every cut and bruise to figure out what needed the most attention.  “Takumi, press here, okay?”

“Right!”  Hands pushed into his right side where he was bleeding the most.  The familiar feeling of hot tar pressed into his skin, simultaneously sticky and needle-sharp.  His face twitched, but he managed to hide most of his grimace.  Now that Takumi was close, his smell was overwhelming: meat that had been left out to rot in the sun.  Eito's stomach churned.  He wished he'd kept burning his nasal mucosa away, and there was still nothing that changed how their voices grated on him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked casually as Nozomi set off another volley of healing bullets.  Four of his ribs clicked back into place, so now only two of them were still broken.

“What does it look like we’re doing?” snapped Takumi.  “Can you stop talking for once in your life?”

Eito chuckled weakly.  “Seems like a bad time to make big changes.”

“You’re not dying.”  He didn’t sound like he fully believed what he was saying, but he wanted it to be true.  Eito struggled to understand why.  He’d betrayed Takumi multiple times across multiple lives.  There had been real, deep hatred in Takumi’s eyes when he'd caught Eito trying to kill Sirei all the way back on Day 2.  Despite that, his life had been spared not once but twice.  Why?  Eito would never have offered anyone that courtesy.

“You’re…so strange, Takumi.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You…really came all the way out here…to see me…?”

There was a beat of silence.  “Sirei told us you were planning on blowing yourself up.”

“I…”  He swallowed, holding back the lie.  He had been intending to use it that way.  He just couldn’t go through with it.  “Well, sitting around for eighteen days seemed awfully boring.”

The heels of Takumi’s hands dug into him harder.

“Ow!”

“Takumi, be careful!”  Another barrage of bullets.  The last two ribs, his twisted ankle, another round of small cuts and bruises.  It was too much.

“You shouldn’t overexert yourself, Nozomi.”

“I am fine.  Worry about yourself.”

Eito fell silent.  He could feel them both glaring at him now.  He wanted to argue again that there was no hope for him, but it was clear that would not go over well.  So, he did what he was told.  He focused on his breathing.  He felt them relax a bit.

The work was quiet for a while after that, broken up only by Nozomi’s shots every minute or so.  She was a bit further away, but he could still smell her a little.  All the worst parts of a hospital.  Just being near her put him back in those false memories of appointments and examinations, everyone trying to figure out what was wrong with him as he screamed and tried to get away. 

They’d tied him to the bed.

He tried to breathe out of his mouth, but the smell still got in.  They were too close.  His stomach started to roil.  He reached up to cover his mouth.

“Eito?”  She leaned in closer.

A shiver went through him.  “Can you…shoot from further away…?”

She pulled back.  “Oh…  Um…”

“We’re trying to help you,” said Takumi sharply.  For the first time, the fear and guilt weren’t in his voice.

“I know that.  I’m just having some trouble breathing, and it seemed like you’d prefer I keep that up.”

“It’s alright, Takumi.”  She stepped away as much as she could while staying in range.

The smell faded, and breathing got easier.

“Don’t you need me to leave too?” Takumi asked, the same hardness in his voice.

“I thought you wanted to stop me from bleeding out?  You’re free to go if you want to.”

He huffed.  It was a beat before he spoke again, but when he did his tone was softer.  “You…you really thought we were just going to leave you here to burn?”

Eito tilted his head slightly, but wasn’t sure what to say.  He had.  The idea that he’d even make it to Day 100 had been so far from his mind, let alone be near any of the others again.

His silence seemed to make Takumi angrier.  “I told you that you could stay!  Why the hell would I leave you to die?”

Why?  Because of all the times Eito had betrayed him maybe?  Still, Takumi had let him live after all that betrayal.  For some reason he still couldn’t understand, his life had some meaning to Takumi.  He thought that meaning ended when he revealed what he knew about Futurum, but apparently there was still something left that gave him value.  “Do you want something from me, Takumi?  I don’t have any more information to give you.”

“Oh my god, Eito.  I don’t need a reason to want to keep you alive.”

“Ah…”  He swallowed.  “My mistake.”  He got quiet again.  They both did.

Slowly his body pieced itself back together with Nozomi’s cryptoglobin while Takumi held it in place long enough to do any good.  It took hours.  By the end he could hear Nozomi panting even from far away.  He’d tried his best to shoot glances at Takumi periodically without having eyes, but any communication the two of them did was silent, and she didn’t take a break.

The wound Takumi had been pressing down on had been the last thing to heal.  He braced as Takumi finally pulled away.  It always felt like an entire layer of sticky, prickling skin was going to be left behind when someone stopped touching him.  It never ended up being that bad, but it still felt like a patch of sludge was present on his skin.  He swallowed down his bile and sat up.

Takumi had moved away from him to check on Nozomi.  Despite how unpleasant the sensations had been, he felt strangely disconnected now that he was alone again.  He couldn’t see.  They were speaking too quietly to hear.  They were too far to smell.  It was possible they could have abandoned him completely, and he wouldn’t even know.  Why was that idea so terrifying?  He’d been ready to die alone for days.  He’d let the others go already.

The fake memory played in his mind again.  Everyone together, everyone happy.  An impossible fantasy.  Not only because it included those who had already died.  Mostly because it included him.

Even in that false memory, he still saw them the way he always had.  Not even Sirei could give him a glimpse at their real faces.  He could fail to include smell and sound in the memory, making it as pleasant as possible, but sight was an impossible thing to overcome.  He’d taken out his own eyes to try and solve that unbeatable problem, but even then it was still so difficult to be near them.  Even then he still remembered the way he’d seen them before.  It was all so pointless.  There was no fixing him.  What was the point in saving a broken thing?

“Eito?”

He jumped.

“Ah, sorry.  I wasn’t trying to…”  Takumi trailed off.  “Are you okay?”

“Yes.  You both patched me up completely.”

“Right…”

“Is Nozomi alright?”

Takumi made a small, disapproving groan.  “She’s…tired.  We’ll need to rest here tonight.”

“No…!”  Her protest did not help her case.  She sounded like she’d topple over if the wind blew too hard.  “What if Dahl’xia comes back while we’re gone?”

“Dahl’xia?”

“A new commander.  One I didn’t face last time.  Our attacks didn’t even scratch him.  He let us go before, but he promised he’d be back.”

Eito frowned.  He hadn’t even considered that they’d be wiped out before V’hexness even attacked.  “Do you have a plan?”

“Yugamu’s working on a poison, but I told Tsubasa I’d help with the detonator once I got back…”

“You need to rest,” Takumi insisted.  “Even if you manage to make it back like that, you still won’t be able to help until you sleep anyways.  We might as well do it here.”

Nozomi sounded like she was trying to think up a rebuttal, but then fell silent.  Takumi breathed a sigh of relief.

The two of them decided to head to the rooms on the roof, so Eito followed them instead of falling asleep in the cafeteria again.  Stairs were a bit challenging, but they waited for him as he climbed and didn’t go into their own rooms until he found his way to his. 

He hadn’t slept in a real bed in so long that for a while he just laid there not even trying to fall asleep.

His bag was gone.  Takumi had taken it off the ground as Eito was going to grab it.  He didn’t know what he was going to do when they left again tomorrow.

He wasn’t sure what day it was.  There had to be at least 10 days left though.  He couldn’t just stay here alone until then.  He couldn’t do anything.  He couldn’t even read anymore.  He’d just be trapped in his own broken mind.  For days.  Alone.

When had being alone become something to fear?

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he was jolted awake the next morning from a knock on his door.  For a minute he just laid there breathing before he settled enough to get up.  He ran his fingers through his hair and adjusted his clothes back into place before finally going over and opening the door.

He smelled that it was Takumi before he spoke.  “Hey.”  There was an awkward beat of silence.

Eito tilted his head.  “Hello…  Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, Nozomi’s still antsy to get back.”

“She’s doing better?”

“Yeah.  Yeah, I thought…but she’s good.”

“Good.”

More awkward silence.  Even without his eyes, Eito often had a sense for what Takumi was thinking.  Not now though.  Now he felt impossibly far away.

“So…are you ready to go?”

Eito straightened.  His eyebrows shot up.  “…go?”

There was another beat of silence before the sound of Takumi smacking himself in the forehead.

“Takumi…?”

“Are you doing this on purpose?"

“I’m…not sure what you mean.”

“I know you’re not this stupid.”

Eito frowned and wrapped his arms around himself.  “Takumi, I really do not think I am the one acting unreasonable here.” 

He didn’t respond, so Eito continued. 

“I was plotting to kill every member of the SDU.  You caught me.  You even experienced a world where I followed through on my plans.  Still, you spared my life.  And yet I betrayed you again.”  He clenched his fists.  “I tried to kill you and your friends again.  I gave V’hexness more power, knowing she would use it against you.  Still, you spared my life.  And yet I used what I knew to cause you more suffering.  I tried to fill you all with the same hatred I feel, even after I knew it was implanted into me.  I tried to use your pain against you.  And I asked you to forgive me for all of that.  I had the audacity to be disappointed when you wouldn’t.”  He squeezed himself tighter.  “You don’t owe me this kindness, Takumi.  I won’t make the mistake of expecting it again.”

The wind whipped around the rooftop.  The silence between them seemed to drag on for lifetimes.

“I meant what I said before, you know.”  Takumi’s voice shook a little when he finally did speak.  “I don’t want to kill you just because I don’t understand you.  I…want to understand.  If you die, I never will.”  The sound changed before his next words.  Eito suspected he’d lowered his head.  “But that’s a selfish wish.  I can’t justify putting the rest of the team in danger because I…can’t let go of the person I thought you were.”

That first version.  The façade.  Eito felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest, a hint of that all too familiar rage.  He even felt it flash across his face before he could stop himself.  Quickly, he tried to bury it, to come up with some excuse, but Takumi didn’t even seem to have noticed.

“I wanted you to stay in the school, but you insisted on leaving.  I couldn’t force you to stay, but I thought I could still get to know you once we were back on the satellite.  I…I can’t believe Sirei gave you a bomb!  I can’t believe you almost died all the way out here all alone…  You’re coming back with us.  I’ll drag you if that’s what it takes.”

Eito shivered.  “Please, don’t.”  The words felt feigned, a pathetic attempt to get back to normalcy, but again, Takumi didn’t notice.

“Then come on.”  He stalked away meaningfully then waited at the top of the stairs.

Eito followed.

Chapter Text

The journey back to Last Defense Academy was an awkward one.

Nozomi was clearly antsy to get back, but when Eito tried to match her pace he’d tripped and had a hard fall that left his shoulder sore and his arms and legs scuffed and bleeding.

Takumi had insisted they slow down after that, despite Eito’s insistence that he was fine.  He even hovered nearby as they kept going.  Eito wasn’t sure whether another hard fall or being caught by one of his monsters would be a worse experience, but he didn’t voice the issue to Takumi.

He could feel Nozomi’s desperation in the air as their pace slowed to a crawl.  It had apparently taken him three days to make it to Second to Last Defense Academy on his own, and it wasn’t looking like that pace would improve much just by having two people next to him while he walked.

At one point, Nozomi offered to go ahead.  The others had to be worried, and Dahl’xia was still a threat.  Takumi didn’t like that idea either though.  What if she was ambushed on the way back?  They had to stick together.  The discussion ended, but no one was happy about it.

Day turned to night, and they’d only made it halfway back.

They found a building that was only partially collapsed to spend the night in, and set out again early the next morning.

Eito tried to pick up his pace a bit, but it was hard to walk with confidence without being able to see the road in front of him.  He nearly crashed into Nozomi when she suddenly stopped short a few hours into their trek.  Her sharp intake of breath had been his only warning that she was right in front of him.

“What is…?” Takumi’s voice shook.  “That can’t…  Ah!  Nozomi!  Be careful!”

Eito heard her dash ahead.  Takumi quickly followed after her.  Eito, less quickly, trailed behind.  He couldn’t hear anything out of the ordinary, and it was hard to smell things other than his companions, but when he got closer he recognized the familiar scent of blood mingled in with the rest.

“Why…?”  Nozomi sniffled.  “Who would…do this…?  How could anyone do something so awful?”

Following the voices, Eito moved closer, taking each step even more carefully now that they’d left the road.  They weren’t moving anymore, so he was catching up.  As he did, familiar scents stood out to him.  Blood, Takumi, and Nozomi, but that wasn’t all.  There were other scents he recognized here.  A pit opened in his stomach.  His brain started spinning out of control, looking for an explanation other than what he suddenly knew to be true.

“Who cuts down…children…?”

Eito wobbled on his feet.  No.  No.  No.  He’d saved them.  He’d done one good thing in his pathetic excuse for a life and…and…  They’d found a way to go home.  They were going to be welcomed back with tears and open arms.  They were going to get what he could never have.  They weren’t dead on the street in front of him.

“The…the scar.”  Takumi swallowed.  “It’s all one line.  Between all of them.  One…one swing of the sword.”

“You…you think V’hexness did this?”  He could hear Nozomi’s tears in her voice.  “They’re her people!  Why…?  Even she can’t be that evil…”

“I don’t know…  I don’t know.”

Sounds he recognized filled his ears.  Takumi had wrapped Nozomi in his arms.  She was sobbing into his shoulder.  He rubbed her back in smooth, soothing motions.

Tar and needles and rotting meat.

It wouldn’t be a comfort. 

Eito dug his nails into his palms.  He clenched his jaw.  He pictured stabbing his scythe into V’hexness’s body again and again and again and again.  He would bleed her dry without taking a drop of her cryptoglobin.  He’d make her scream, make her beg.  Take her pride and her life and stamp it into the dirt.

Disgusting.  Vile.  Repulsive.  Nauseating.  Hideous.  Putrid.  Detestable.  Monster.

“…Eito…?”

He jumped.  His hands snapped open and he felt blood dripping down his palms.  “I…”  He turned on his heel so Takumi couldn’t see his face.  He swallowed, trying to erase it all.  His fury, his hatred, his panic.  Don’t let him see.  Don’t let it out.

Gravel crunched as Takumi extricated himself from Nozomi and took a step closer to Eito.  He refused to turn around.  It was still on his face, still in his palms.  Utter, all-consuming hate.  Ugly, manufactured hate.

He was breathing too hard.  He didn’t know what to do with his hands.  He wanted to run.  He couldn’t run.  He couldn’t see.  He couldn’t see.  He couldn’t see.  He couldn’t see.

A heavy weight dropped on top of him. 

He screamed.

“It’s okay.  It’s okay.”

The weight wrapped around him, covering him from head to toe.  It was soft against his skin.  Warm.  A blanket?  A quilt?  It pressed into him as he was gently lowered to the ground.  Something solid was behind him, holding him in place while simultaneously wrapped around his chest.  It was warm.  It smelled like rotting meat.

“I’m sorry I don’t…  Is this helping…?”  Takumi had lowered his voice to a whisper.  Even right next to Eito’s ear, it didn’t make it ring painfully.

What…was he doing…?

He saw.  He knows.  Eito hadn’t changed.  He was the same hateful mess that he always was.  Why was Takumi…trying to offer comfort?

Eito trembled.  Takumi squeezed tighter.

“It’s okay.  You’re okay.”

Okay?  He was not okay.  He shook his head fiercely and tried to pull away, but Takumi didn’t let go.

He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak.  All he was, was panic and fury.  He thrashed, but Takumi held fast.

“Takumi I…I don’t know if that’s helping…”

“What else am I supposed to do?  He’s like…having a panic attack or something!  I don’t…  Does he need a bag to breathe into or…?  What do we do?”

“I…I’ll try to find something…!”

Footsteps pounded away, but he could barely hear it over the thumping in his head.

“Eito, listen to me.  You have to calm down.  Just talk to me.  Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

He opened his mouth but words wouldn’t form.  He couldn’t get his thoughts in order.  He didn’t know what he wanted.  No, that wasn’t true.  There was one clear thought in his head.

“Don’t leave.”

Takumi sucked in a breath.  Then the circle around him tightened once more.  “I’m not.  I’m not going anywhere.”

Eito breathed.  Slowly, agonizingly, it started to slow down.  He could feel Takumi’s chest at his back, rising and falling with an even rhythm he tried to match.  Slow footsteps approached them again, but no one spoke.  Only after five solid minutes of normal breathing did Takumi slowly release him.  Eito took another minute for himself then reached up to pull the blanket off of his head.  He kept it wrapped around his shoulders though.

Nausea hit him all at once and he lurched to his feet, stumbled a few yards away and vomited onto the ground.

“Shit!”

He retched again and again until there was nothing left inside.  Then he stumbled a bit further away and collapsed to his knees.  He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself.

“Shit…I…I’m sorry…  I forgot about the smell…”

Eito shook his head.  “No, I…I…”  He couldn’t find the words.

“Do you need some water?” Nozomi asked.  Any impatience had left her now.

Eito brought a hand up to his raw throat and nodded slowly.  She passed him an untouched bottle, and he started to drink.  Sense came back to him as he did.  Heat rose to his face, humiliation and shame.

“I…I’m sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.”

“…Justice?” Takumi suggested.  He paused.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I lost control.”

“Yeah, so did we.  A bunch of kids got murdered.”

“It wasn’t the same.”

“You think we’re not angry?  We are.  We’ll make her pay for this.”

Eito swallowed.  “I…I thought I protected them.”

There was a pause.  “What…?”

“They stayed with me.  At the school.  They were hiding from invaders and didn’t know the way home.  I told them where they could find a map.  Then…that army showed up.  I told them to run.  I…I thought they got away.  I thought they were going to make it home.”

“Oh, Eito…”  Nozomi’s hand covered her mouth.  “I’m so sorry…”

He gripped the thick blanket.  He wanted to stay there, wrapped in that warmth and safety forever.  He forced himself back to his feet.  “We need to get back to the school.  At this rate, we won’t be back before nightfall.”

Eito could feel them exchanging a glance.  They didn’t start moving.

He wrapped the blanket around his arm a few times so it wasn’t dragging on the ground and extended a hand towards them.  “I’ll be faster with a guide.”

“Are…you sure?” asked Takumi.

Eito nodded.  “We need to make up lost time.”  There was an air of discomfort.  Eito didn’t lower his arm.  Eventually he felt Takumi’s hand wrap around it.  Warm.  Soft.  The sticky feeling didn’t make it through the layers of fabric.  He smiled.  It almost felt normal.  “Lead the way.”

He felt Takumi’s shoulders relax.

Their pace was considerably faster with Takumi leading him step for step as they made their way back through the ruins.  He tried to keep his mind focused, but it drifted back to the children.  Should they have buried them?  Was that even how Futurans treated their dead?  It felt wrong to leave them there, but it would’ve taken so much time, time they didn’t have.  He had to let it go.

In the end, despite the delay, they made it back to Last Defense Academy before sunset.  Takumi dropped his grip on Eito’s arm to pull out the fire extinguisher.  He wasn’t sure why Nozomi couldn’t have done that, but it gave him the opportunity to fold up the blanket and tuck it under his arm.  He straightened his hair out again and braced himself for the upcoming onslaught.

As soon as they passed through the wall of fire, there was a shout from the roof and soon everyone was  gathered in the schoolyard. 

“Nozomi!”  Moko scooped Nozomi up in a bear hug.  “You had me worried, girl!”

“Sorry, Moko.  I promise we got back as soon as we could.”

“So, you really brought him back, huh.”  Eito could feel Gaku frowning skeptically at him.

“I told you two he was fine!”  Sirei’s voice was more surprising.  He couldn’t smell him like the others, so it was impossible to know he was present if he didn’t say anything.

“Fine?”  Takumi spoke through gritted teeth.  “If we’d been seconds later…”

Eito felt more eyes on him.

“Were you…attacked?” asked Hiruko.

“Yes,” he said, maybe too quickly.  Did everyone know about the damn bomb?

“Sirei.”  Takumi stepped closer to him.  “Can you add Eito back to the revive-o-matic?”

“Hm.”  He tapped his cane against the ground.  “I can.  Are you saying you want him back on the team now?”

There was a beat of silence.  Eito turned his head in Takumi’s direction.

“I do, yeah.”  He swallowed.  “It shouldn’t just be my decision though.”

“Yes, you’re clearly biased.”

Hiruko’s words made Takumi wince.  “Can I just…get all of your opinions on it?”

“It sounds to me like he’s not actually that good in a fight anyway, especially now.”

He said that, but Gaku still flinched when Eito fully turned his attention toward him.  A retort was on his tongue, but he doubted being snarky now would help his case.  He needed them to agree to this.

“There were a lot of invaders,” said Takumi.  “More than any of us could handle on our own.”

Gaku made a noise somewhere between derision and ascent.

“So, you can still fight?” Hiruko asked.

“I lasted a while.  I’ll do better with others around to direct me.”

“And you…want to be on the team.”  He could feel Yugamu studying him, a smirk on his face.  “Honestly, I’m still struggling to understand that.”

“I already explained my reasons.”

“Yes, you want to fight beside us because our resolve to keep fighting despite our fake memories was beautiful to you.  Even if we are trying to save humanity.  Why though?  You’ve hated us for so long, did one act of resolve really change everything for you?”

“Yeah, that’s all way too sudden.  You gotta be lying,” said Takemaru. 

He rested his head in his hand thoughtfully.  “I suppose I can’t blame you for being unconvinced.  I have trouble understanding it myself.”

“Eito…”

He turned to Takumi, tilting his head at him.  Why had he sounded so sad?

“For what it’s worth,” Nozomi said, speaking up.  “I agree with Takumi.  I think we can trust Eito.”

“You do, Nozomi?” asked Moko.

“Mhm.”  He could feel her looking at him.  “I’m…not sure if he’d be okay with me explaining why though.”

He covered his face with his hand, trying to stop it from darkening.  “No,” he managed.  They were all staring at him.  His shoulders drew up.

“Well, if Nozomi trusts you, I do too!  Everyone deserves a second chance!”

“I think he’s on his fourth or fifth.”  Ima.  There was no way Eito was getting his vote.

“I was driven by my false memories before.  That won’t be a problem now.”

“But you still hate humanity, right?” asked Tsubasa.

He hesitated.  “Don’t you?  After everything they did to us?”

“I…I’m not sure, honestly.  But…most people didn’t know, right?  We can’t blame all of them for what happened to us.”

Eito grimaced.  He was thinking about the damn kids again.

“Are you only playing nice now so you can get back to the satellite?” asked Hiruko.

He took a breath, pushing the thoughts away.  “If you’re worried about that, you can leave me behind on Day 100.”

“That’s not happening,” Takumi snapped.  “I told you to quit it with that.”

“It’s a valid concern, Takumi.  Killing everyone on the satellite was my goal at the start.”

“Even if whoever messed with your memories wanted to stop the mission, that’s going way too far,” said Takemaru.  “What the hell were they planning on doing once you did get back?”

Eito tilted his head.  “I assume whoever implanted this purpose in me never intended for me to actually succeed.  They just wanted me to do enough damage to the mission to make it unsalvageable before I got killed off.  Like what happened in Takumi’s original timeline.”

He felt Takumi tense up nearby.  Had he said something wrong?  Everyone had gone quiet again.  It was a while before anyone spoke.

“Even the people who were against the plan…they still just thought of us as tools.”  Shouma’s voice was quiet.  A wave of agreement passed through the crowd.

“They don’t all think of you like that,” Sirei insisted.  “You’ll see once you get back to the satellite.  They didn’t want to do this to you.”

“They still did though,” grumbled Gaku.

“They felt it was their only choice,” said Hiruko before Sirei could speak up again.  “Personally, I’m interested in speaking to the person who designed my history.”

Eito’s expression darkened before he could stop himself.  Yeah.  He was interested in talking to that person too.  At least if they hadn’t been executed for treason already.

“I’ve never really thought about that before.  Can you tell us how it worked, Sirei?” asked Nozomi.

“Sure.  Each one of you had a specific researcher in charge of constructing your memories in a way that would make you distinct both as a combatant and a strategist.  No one had ever attempted anything like this before, so they were given a lot of freedom in choosing what type of memories to give you.”  He paused.  “Obviously, there should have been more oversight.”

“So we have…something like parents…?” asked Tsubasa.

“Exactly!  They’re all fond of you!  Who wouldn’t be after seeing a kid’s whole life?”

“I don’t see why anyone would be fond of a piece of pond scum like me…”

“Yeah, whoever gave Shouma his memories was an asshole!”  Eito winced at Takemaru’s shout.  Did they always have to be so loud?  He didn’t really disagree with the sentiment though.  Even Sirei didn’t have a response to that.

“I think we’ve gotten off topic.”  Hiruko’s attention was back on him again.  “I still don’t trust you.  I will defer to our team leader’s judgement as always, but if he’s asking for my opinion, I’m still against this.”

“Me too,” said Takemaru.  “No way we can trust this guy.  Sorry, Takumi.”

Eito felt his chest tighten.  What would happen if they rejected him again?  Takumi was determined not to let him die, but if all his real friends wanted Eito gone, could he really go against them?

“I…I think we can trust him…  I know my opinion isn’t worth anything, but…”  When no one cut him off, Shouma continued.  “I think he feels the same as we do.  We’re all angry, but…more importantly…we want to protect each other.”

“I still don’t think he wants to protect us at all,” said Ima.  “He can claim he doesn’t hate us anymore, but that’s just words, and we know he’s a liar.”

“Yeah…  Things just…don’t add up.  Sorry,” said Kako.

“I think you must be crazy to trust him again, Takumi,” said Gaku.  “He’ll turn on us sooner or later even if he doesn’t plan on it right now.”

That was five.  One more and that’d be the majority.

“Takumi knows him best though,” said Tsubasa.  “He didn’t trust Eito at all at the start, so if he thinks we should now…  I’ll follow his lead.  Just…don’t do anything that gross again.”  Eito assumed she was referring to the thing with his eyes.

Yugamu giggled.  “I guess that means I get the deciding vote.”  He stepped closer, taking his time as he circled around Eito, studying him.  He smelled like blood, like a festering bloody wound full of maggots.  Even with his eyes gone, he could still picture Yugamu’s sharp angles, a body made entirely of knives.  Just knowing he was close set Eito on edge.  Illusions.  He tried to remind himself.

“Back off a little, Yugamu,” said Takumi, which made him giggle again.

“I’m just trying to make an informed decision here.”  He did move further away though.  Some of the tension eased.  “Tell me, Eito, why do you really want to fight?  Takumi seems content to keep you in your cage if that’s what it takes.  Surely survival matters more than one or two more battles?”

Eito considered what to say.  All of his assurances that he wanted to protect the others had fallen flat.  They couldn’t understand his affection for them any more than he could; he couldn’t blame them for being unable to trust it.  He could tell them how much he wanted to be a part of something.  He’d never been a member of a group before.  Fighting with them on Day 72 had felt entirely new.  He wanted to feel that way again.  He didn’t know how to put that into words though.  It too felt too sappy to be taken seriously.  That left only one thing.

“I want to kill V’hexness myself.”

He didn’t try to hide the danger in his tone this time.  If there was anything Yugamu would respect, it would be the genuine desire to kill someone for deeply personal reasons.

“Oh~?”

“Weren’t you all buddy-buddy with her like a few weeks ago?”  He could picture Gaku rolling his eyes.

Eito grimaced.  “Yes.  I thought I could use her to fulfil my goal for me, but…she’s worse.  I want her dead more than all of humanity combined.  More than whoever made me like this.”

“Any reason for this new passion?” asked Yugamu.

Eito didn’t respond.  Takumi and Nozomi didn’t either.  At least not directly.

“I…might be wrong,” said Takumi.  “It might not have been her.”

“It couldn’t have been anyone else.”

“Did you find something in the ruins on your way back?” asked Hiruko.

“Yes, um…”  Nozomi’s attention was on him again, waiting for approval.

“Why does he get to decide if you tell us something or not?” asked Ima.

“That’s…”

“She cut down children.”  It was going to be said eventually.  It might as well be from him.

“What?!” Takemaru growled.

That was the only thing he heard before the blood started to pound in his ears again.  The fury.  Takumi and Nozomi were explaining the details to the others, but the words themselves were lost on him.  Only Yugamu’s voice broke him out of it.

“Okay, I’m convinced.  He can stay.”

Eito straightened.  “I…can?”

The mood around him seemed to have completely shifted while he was stuck in his own head.  Even the ones who had voted against letting him back in had a different energy about them now.  How much had Takumi and Nozomi told them?  He felt the sudden urge to correct their perceptions, but without knowing what was said that would be difficult.  Also unhelpful.

“If that’s the decision we’ve come to, I can accept it too,” said Hiruko.  He could feel her watching him.

“Y-Yeah…”  Takemaru had gone quiet.

“Ima?  Kako?  Gaku?” Takumi prompted.

“Well…” Kako hesitated.  “I guess if he was going to betray us, he could’ve done it while we were in our rooms after we found out about our memories.”

“A brilliant point!  I agree with Kako.”

“You’re all crazy!” said Gaku.  “I’m never trusting this guy.”

“I won’t have him fight on the same side of the battlefield as you or anyone else who doesn’t want to.”

“I can also go back to staying in my cage outside of fights.”

Takumi made a noise.  “What if…I just held onto your infuser.  There’s no reason for you to stay locked up all the time.”

“I don’t mind.  I’m quite used to living in there by now.”  He said that, but he’d spent most of his time in his cage reading.  He wouldn’t be able to do that anymore.  How would he spend his time now?

He would need to learn to read braille.  Once that was done, life could return to some form of normalcy.  He didn’t want to go back to most of his life, but losing books was not an option.  If Takumi was determined to keep him alive past the next 10 days, he would spend them acting like something would exist after.

In the end, the others agreed that Eito could stay in his room so long as they had a way to lock it from the outside at night.  Tsubasa whipped something up quickly even though she was obviously tired, and everyone could rest easy even with a traitor in their midst.

Another next day.  What a strange feeling.