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Welcome to hell, CLANKER!

Summary:

Veeronica enters her final “resting” place. Unfortunately, a lot of the people there aren’t too kind to robots. Shenanigans ensue.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Veeronica’s systems came back online after what seemed to be an eternity. 

Was this heaven? Was this hell? Can robots even go to hell?

The answer to that last question was yes, as she would soon learn.

“Hey, guys. I think we’ve got a new one.”

A man in a military uniform was standing over her, who looked like he was used to random people showing up on the floor.

Veeronica sat up, as a crowd formed around her.

“Who are you guys? Where am I?”
Someone who looked like he was a fast food worker came to the front of the crowd. If Veeronica was actually capable of eating, she’d ask him if they sold french fries here.

“Hi. I’m Elliot. And you’re in The Spectre’s realm.”

“The what? Is this a haunted house or some shit?”

“No. It’s more like a prison.”

“Fuck. Did the police catch me for the graffiti?”

Elliot laughed, saying:
“Not exactly. Now, can you tell us who you are?”
“My name is-”

Veeronica wasn’t able to finish her sentence. A dude wearing a fedora interrupted her with probably the worst thing she could’ve heard at the moment.

“Damn, the new survivor’s a CLANKER?”
Everyone’s attention shifted to him. Some guy wearing a hard hat- wait, was that motherfucking BUILDERMAN- began to speak.

“We know she’s a clanker. We all have eyes- At least, I think.” Builderman gestured to someone wearing robes and a hood, “But did ya really hafta say it?!”

“Oh, come on! It’s not like you see a clanker every day over here!”

A robotic voice interjected from by the stairway:
“What ab0ut m3?”
“Nobody cares about you, Defunctbot!”

Elliot sighed, turning back to Veeronica. 

“C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

However, before she could get up, Veeronica found herself in the middle of yet another unfamiliar place, with strange concrete structures all around. 

Oh shit, they gave me my skateboard and spraypaint back! Hell yeah!

She set to work, deciding to mark the wall in front of her with a quick doodle of her face. 

When she was done, she turned around, only to hear what sounded like emergency sirens growing closer. 

She started walking over to the source of the noises, and saw the military guy from earlier, and an unfamiliar green person holding a pair of swords.

“Uh, hello? I don’t think I saw you earlier! My name’s-”
The green being started laughing, and the survivor desperately tried to shoo Veeronica away, but she remained still, as the swordsman began to speak:

“It looks like The Spectre has a new toy… And, as a bonus, they decided to help me!”
“Help you with what-”
“FINALLY! I’M ONE STEP CLOSER TO MY LIFELONG GOAL OF USING EVERY SLUR IN EXISTENCE, CLANKER!”
Whoever the hell this was, they sure weren’t friendly. Suddenly, Veeronica couldn’t move. Strange popups covered her field of vision, almost like that one time her friend dared her to click on a free robux link.

She felt cold metal cutting into her, and her systems slowly began going offline. The last thing she heard before everything went dark was the killer’s maniacal laughter.

 

After that round had ended, 1x walked back into the killer cabins, and entered the living room, where everyone was gathered, watching John Doe and Guest 666 play Mario kart.

“Hey, 1x’s back! How was it?”
“Fine, Azure. There’s a new survivor here. A clanker, to be exact.”

666 and Doe paused their game, and listened intently. It was always a big deal when a new survivor or killer arrived.

“I killed it really quick, I don’t know what its abilities are.”

“H-h3y, like, uh- 1sn’t it @ bit w-weird t0 k-ee-ep ca||ing th3m a-a clan-nker? Lik3, 1 kn-now th3y are-re one, but it’$ kin-inda rud3…”
1x glared at Noli.

“Why are you defending it?! It’s just a clanker!”

“L00k, 1-”
“Are we sure YOU aren’t a clanker?!”

Everybody in the room gasped. This was a serious accusation.

“I’M-M N0T!”
“Really? Then why do you speak like one?”
“IT’$ TH3-HE V0ID ST-STAR!”

“Yeah? Well, how can you play the audio of every single meme under the sun?!”

“@GAIN, IT’S THE V-VO1D ST@R!”

Slasher decided that he had to step in before one of them tried to kill the other:

(Hey. Stop that. He already said he isn’t a clanker. C’mon. Do you guys wanna play Mario kart?)

“0-OOH! 1 C-CALL DIB$ ON Y-YO$H-I!”

 

Back at the survivor cabins, Veeronica had respawned along with the rest of the survivors.

She wasn’t happy. 

First, I get sent to hell, AND THEN THEY CALL ME SLURS?!

Chance, which was apparently the name of the motherfucker from earlier, seemed intent on rubbing salt in the wound.

“Hey, clanker! I heard you only lasted 30 seconds-”
Veeronica grabbed Chance by the shoulder, saying:

“Let’s take this outside. Alright?”

Chance grabbed his gun, and followed her out the door.

 

Chance wasn’t entirely sure what Veeronica was thinking, I mean, isn’t it a common saying? Never bring a skateboard to a gun fight?

It didn’t matter. 

Noob, who had been appointed as the referee, began to count down.

“Alright, o-on your marks- get s-set… FIGHT!”
Chance began firing shots at Veeronica, but she dodged every single one on her skateboard, and then started charging towards him while he was trying to reload. 

Veeronica slammed into Chance, pushing them onto the ground, and then she hopped off of her skateboard, picked it up, and began using it as a weapon, whacking Chance repeatedly in the head.

“HEY, STOP! STOP!”
Before Veeronica could land the finishing blow, Elliot stopped her, and frantically threw a slice of pizza at Chance.

“Oh my god- WHY DID YOU GUYS DO THIS?!”

The two survivors looked at each other, and then Elliot.

“Because he won’t stop calling me a clanker.”
“You never asked me to stop!”
“YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT IT’S OFFENSIVE!”

“IT WAS JUST A JOKE!”

“YOU HAVE A SHITTY SENSE OF HUMOR!”

Elliot sighed.

“You two. Apologize to each other. Now.”

Veeronica rolled her digital eyes.

“Sorry, Chance, for trying to kill you…”

“And I’m sorry- wait, what’s your name?”

“Oh, right. I wasn’t actually able to tell you. My name is Veeronica.”

Notes:

The idea for this one came to me in the middle of a mental breakdown. Why do I always have the best ideas when I’m sobbing uncontrollably?!

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