Chapter Text
Deku: Hi everyone, my name is Midoriya Izuku, and this is the prologue to the story of how I became the greatest hero!
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FLASHBACK BEGIN
In Midoriya's House
Deku: Mom! Mom! Mom! Can I watch All Might's video for the three hundred and fifty-seventh time?! Inko: Okay, Izuku, but first take your ADHD pills. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All Might's Video
NPC: Someone help us!
All Might: Don't worry, I'm here now!
NPC: Did you come to save us, All Might?
All Might: No, I just came to smile for the cameras! Hahaha!
Npc:All Might comes back here!
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In Midoriya's House
Deku: When I grow up, I want to be a hero like All Might!
Inko: You definitely will, my boy.
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In the Hospital Doctor: I'm sorry, kid, but the latest tests show you were born without a quirk, so instead of saying cool things like "I'm here" or "With great power comes great responsibility," you'll have to say, "Sir, are you eating your Happy Meal here or are you taking it away?" for the rest of your useless life
Deku: B-but...
Doctor: How nice I am
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In Midoriya's House
Deku: M-Mom, even though I have no powers... things will be fine... right...?
Inko: Your life will suck! I'm sorry, Izuku!
END FLASHBACK
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PRESENT BEGINNING
In Middle School
Teacher: So, dear students, which high school did you choose?
Deku: UA...
NPC: Midoriya wants to go to UA! And he doesn't even have a quirk! What an idiot!
Classmates laugh
Deku: Come on, guys! Better not to have a quirk like the guy with the extendable eyes.
Bakugou: YOU UGLY SACK OF SHIT! I'M BETTER THAN YOU AND YOU DON'T COUNT FOR SHIT! THE YEARS GO BY AND YOU STILL BE USELESS! WHEN I'M NUMBER ONE, I'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, NERDEKU?!
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In the city
Deku: La la la! I'm walking around regardless of the danger!
Deku is attacked by the Slime Villain
Villain: Die, kid
Deku: I-I can't breathe...
All Might arrives
All Might: Hey, you!
Villain continues to attack Deku
All Might: Excuse me, I was just passing by, but you two make a cute couple! Be careful with those tongues, though, we're in a public place.
Villain continues to attack Deku
All Might: Hey, buddy, your girlfriend doesn't seem to be too happy about it.
Villain continues to attack Deku
All Might: Oh my god! This is rape!
All Might defeats the Villain with a Texas Smash
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On the roof
Deku: Thank you so much, All Might! I admire you! You're my idol!
All Might returns to his normal self
Deku: And... you look so skinny in person.
All Might: Didn't you just say you admired me?
Deku: No offense, but you look like a fusion of Link from Zelda and Bob Marley after chemotherapy.
All Might: I don't have time to waste with you.
All Might gets up to leave
Deku: Wait! E-even if I don't have a Quirk... can I become a hero too?
All Might: No.
Deku: But I'm trying! And besides, it's not okay to dream?!
All Might: Without powers, it's impossible to become a hero. Give up, boy.
Deku: But Batman doesn't have powers either!
All Might: Batman is a sissy, he repeats the same old phrases like "Oh, my parents are dead" and he's always crying.
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On the beach
All Might: After your long training, are you ready to receive One For All like the national debt or AIDS?
Deku: Wait, why did you choose me after all these years?
All Might: You're actually the third guy I've asked in this week
Deku: Oh, now everything makes more sense.
All Might takes a hair of his own
All Might: Now shut up and swallow.
Deku: Isn't this like doping?
All Might: Do you want to pass this damn test or not?!
Deku eats All Might's hair
Deku: B-but... It's delicious! What shampoo do you use?!
All Might: Okay, you're starting to scare me, kid.
Deku: I want more!
All Might: Hey! Stay out of my hair!
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In front of UA
Deku: I can't miss this opportunity.
Deku trips but is saved by Uraraka
Uraraka: Hi, my name is Uraraka Ochako, i'm introducing myself so you can save me in five minutes. See you later, honey.
Uraraka leaves
Deku: I'm sure of it... SHE WANTS MY DICK!
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At UA
Present Mic: Welcome, future heroes! Are you excited for the exam?!
Ilda: Professor Midoriya isn't excited enough! You should take away some points!
Present Mic: Oh, we have an incel daddy's boy in the audience! Good!
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In the exam area
Mic present: Without further ado, let's get the exam with the giga robots started!
Deku: Wasn't it supposed to be a written test?
Ilda: Indeed... it was supposed to be a written test with a multiple-choice questionnaire.
Mic present: But you have a multiple-choice question... LIVE OR DIE!
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The entrance exam to Japan's most prestigious hero institute was now in its final stages.
The stakes were high, and Midoriya Izuku knew this well.
However, there were only a handful of minutes left and he had scored zero points, his quirk's awakening was taking a long time to manifest.
A feeling of desperation began to take hold of his body. That was his dream, to become a hero.
He couldn't disappoint his idol, All Might, after he had given him his quirk.
That gesture meant so much to him, it meant he too could become a hero.
However, the UA rules are strict, to pass the entrance exam, you need a high score, and at that moment, Midoriya's chances of passing were slim, almost impossible.
And while the young One For All holder remained with his head bowed to the road, brooding over his failures, the other future heroes were intent on destroying as many robots as possible.
The situation seemed hopeless, at least until...
Uraraka: h-help me
Deku: oh no, it's the girl I met five minutes ago, I'll sacrifice myself for her!
And as if fate had revealed its cards, Midoriya's quirk activated in that instant, when he was the only one running toward the robot, when he was the only one wanting to save the girl who had previously saved him from tripping.
His legs activated at a speed invisible to the human eye, and as he headed toward the robot with all the recklessness of his age, an old conversation with All Might popped into his mind.
Deku: All Might, how do you use One For All?
All Might: w-well... I just say the name of a random American city and then Smash.
Deku: ahhhh, is it really that simple?
All Might: listen boy, I don't even know how it works, I lost the notebook with the explanation that my mentor gave me during a battle, but remember one thing, saying the name of your special move is the most important thing, it's fundamental in anime
But that sweet memory didn't help him at all, and the closer the robot got, the more Midoriya found himself in trouble.
Deku: Fuck it! I'm not copying All Might's special move, I have to find my own special move.
And it was at that precise moment that another memory came to mind, when All Might explained the principle of heroism: helping others without asking for anything in return.
This is what has always set Midoriya apart from other aspiring heroes, the words All Might spoke that day resonated in his heart.
"When push comes to shove, don't forget to squeeze your butt and shout your superhero phrase at the top of your lungs."
Deku: ONE PUUUUUNCH!!!!!
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The end