Archive of Our Own ^beta

The fluorescent lights around him immediately felt too much, the noise was unbearable and all he wanted to do was leave immediately. Besides the smell of too much alcohol and sweat, there was also a slight trace of drugs.

Carlos wrinkled his nose. 

All he wanted was something to drink, but after going through the fridge and only finding alcohol there, he had to search for his sisters and ask at least one of them, where they had hidden the normal beverages.

That of course turned out to be not that easy.

It was the beginning of the school year and obviously, his sisters had to throw a party. Of course, all of the "cool kids" were invited and there was no place for "losers" like him or his friends.

Unfortunately he lived at the current party location, so there was no coming around this one. Sometimes he almost despised his sisters for their popularity, because he really hates these parties.

It was nothing more than a show off and a good enough reason to waste some money. They al had been growing up privileged, with no worries about money whatsoever. For Carlos, there was a point where he realized, that he couldn't take all of this for granted. That not everyone got to go a private school from first grade onwards, that not everyone made so much money that they could go on vacation multiple times a year or have multiple homes. That he was privileged enough to get whatever he ever wanted and more. Not everyone lived like this, they just were lucky. Don't get him wrong, he was grateful for everything his parents gave him but for him, there was more to life than just money.

One day, he wanted to get into Oxford. Get a good education and help people who weren’t as blessed as he was. Preferably through an organization that genuinely made a difference. He also wanted to make a name for himself and someday become an author, or maybe even a professor. He wanted to make a difference in many aspects of other people’s lives.

That however, was not everyone's dream future. Almost everyone in this school had no ambition for life, nor dreams of a future career. They're not even trying to show interest in anything, but spending their parent's money.

That was luckily not the case for his best friends George and Alex. The three of them were the only ones, that truly cared about their career, or at least it looked like that. They found each other a few years ago and since then, they had been an inseparable trio.

On the opposite were the "cool kids". People like Max Verstappen, who believed he could be Formula One driver, without ever having set a foot in a formula one car or anything of that kind. Charles Leclerc, who was so obsessed with his looks, that he believed he could live off a modeling career. Complete bullshit, if you asked Carlos. Last and definitely the worst of them all, was Lando Norris.

There was really no one more pretentious than Lando Norris. He had no ambitions in life or plans for his future, besides getting drunk every weekend and fucking with every girl in their school. He always made fun of his friends, speaking with them in a way, it made Carlos blood boil. Occasionally he  even playing pranks on them to embarrass them. Carlos only got away from it most times, because Lando was friends with Ana and Blanca. So when they told him not to, he actually backed up on it a little bit. That was only when they were around him though. When he catches Carlos alone, there was no holding back from him whatsoever.

Oh, how Carlos hated him.

Most times he just ignored him, but having him in his backyard on a Saturday night when he didn't have to see him for two months and wasn't supposed to see him until Monday, really did get under his skin.

He really didn't see what everyone else saw in him. Norris was an alcohol addict, who wastes money and breaks hearts. Really not the characteristics Carlos would search for in a friend or a partner. His sisters told him that he can be different and nice, but Carlos finds that hard to believe.

How much can your personality differ from the one you're showing around? Not much in his opinion.

He gets through their garden, supposing his sisters are somewhere nearby the pool, when he  bumped into someone.

Carlos wanted to say something, maybe even apologize. A quick mumble because everyone was already so drunk, that they wouldn't even remember a few minutes later, but someone beat him to it.

"Sainz, what a displeasure. Don't you have to be somewhere else? Like in a library reading another boring book?" Lando sneered.

"At least I wouldn't have to see your face in my garden then." Carlos countered, faking a smile.

People around them started to whistle, probably waiting for a fight to break out. Carlos could only roll his eyes to that. They really got nothing going on in their brain.

"Always so brave and yet so stuck up. Really don't know how your sisters are so cool and you're so you." Lando said, looking him up and down with disgust clearly showing on his face.

Carlos thought about countering back again, but there was really no point in doing so. The only thing he decided on was a "Fuck off, Norris." before he left him and the people around them. He would always be an asshole with the urge to present dominance, Carlos didn't need to play into that.

When he finally reached the pool, he saw Ana sitting at the edge. Thank god, because he really wanted to get back to his room.

"Ana!" he called her, hoping she would even hear him over the music.

Luckily for him, his sister turned. A surprised look on her face.

"You? Out here? Did something happen?" she asked.

Carlos rolled his eyes.

"I just wanted to know where you hid our normal fridge. All I wanted was some apple juice, instead I only found vodka and other stuff in the kitchen, I will not be drinking."

Now Ana rolled her eyes.

"Getting a bit drunk would help you having fun, you know?"

"I'm good."

Ana sighs.

"I know you are. We put everything in the pantry upstairs, help yourself."

"Gracias." Carlos said, while already heading back inside.

He must admit, it was smart to hide it on the second floor, so they wouldn't be left without anything to drink or eat because their guests would consume anything they found.

He gets upstairs and the music is still present, but slowly starts to fade away. Without a second thought he opens the pantry, but what he sees are not just beverages. Well that too, but that isn't what he could focus on.

In the pantry was Lando Norris, making out with a boy Carlos has never seen before. Of course they immediately stopped doing whatever they were up to when they noticed the open door. They both were as shocked as Carlos at first and neither of them moved. Then Lando's face slowly turned from shaken, to panicked and lastly to something more dangerous, anger.

Before Lando could launch himself at Carlos, beating him up or whatever he wants to do with him, Carlos fled.

He slams the door back into its lock and sprints back into his room. When closed his door, he quickly locked it and breathes out.

Then he sank down at it and closes his eyes.

He just saw Lando Norris making out with a guy in his pantry. Lando who was flushed, had kiss swollen lips and was about to fuck another guy in his home. All of that while publicly getting with every girl in school.

Maybe it was just a one time thing, but the look one his face said something different. The stages of which Lando's face had gone through, didn't look like he was trying something new for once.

For a second there had been pure panic. He got caught and worst of all, it was Carlos who caught him. Who now had the power to destroy everything Lando had.

Maybe he would do it if he were an asshole, but Carlos had no intention to. He knew himself how hard it was to come to terms with your sexuality, himself now knowing for five years now that he was bisexual.

Lando didn't need to know that though. Maybe he would pull back on picking on him and his friends now that he knows that Carlos could ruin his life. Maybe he doesn't even consider Carlos not telling anyone, because he probably would, if the roles were reversed. Even though half the school knew about his own preferences anyway, since he never made a big deal out of it once he came to terms with it.

He had no problem with it. People may not like him because of that, but he couldn't care less about these homophobic dicks anyway.

Lando on the other hand, clearly only cared about his reputation and even though Carlos would never out him on purpose, he would like to see Lando go insane about the possibility.

He sighs, but gets up to make his way into his bathroom.

Tap water it is for the rest of the night then. That and the book he was currently reading. Which he was sure, these idiots outside wouldn't even understand.

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It was Monday morning and Carlos was excited to go to school.

Not because of his idiotic classmates, but because he was excited for all the subjects they would be covering this year.

He was going through their tremendous and a little exagarrated entrance, when he suddenly got pulled away and smacked against another wall in a dark side corridor.

Norris was breathing hard, grabbing him by the hem of his shirt and looking at him enraged. Their faces were close, Carlos knew about what this is.

"No one, will know about what you saw on Saturday, you understand that? If I hear one whisper about it, I will make your and your sister's life a living hell."

"If you get off of me, maybe."

"Not before you promise me."

Carlos looked at Lando.

"Do you always threaten people to get your way? And did it ever work?"

"What do you want, Sainz?"

"Me? Nothing, but if you even think of doing something to my sisters, your secret will be out in no time. So watch your mouth, I don't think you're in the place to set requirements."

Lando laughs sarcastically.

"Ever the noble men, right? I don't care what you want. If you tell someone, you're dead. Trust me, I have my ways."

"I'm aware. If you didn't, maybe you wouldn't be such an asshole, but it's part of your personality." Carlos sneered.

"You don't know me, you can stop with all that bullshit. I'm just here to make sure your mouth won't say something it's not supposed to." Lando said, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Seems like you just have to wait, no?" Carlos said, a little smile playing at his lips.

They look into each other's eyes. Carlos is smiling, while Lando is fuming. He lets go of Carlos eventually, but not without pushing him back once again.

"Whatever. Say something and you're dead." Lando said, before leaving him alone again. 

When he was finally out of sight, Carlos closed his eyes and breathed out. After calming himself down, he adjusts his uniform and goes inside.

George and Alex are already waiting for him at the staircase. He smiles slightly when he sees them.

"Carlos, good to see you." George starts.

"Hey, you too." he says, still a bit shaken from what happened a few moments ago.

"Are you alright?" Alex asks, raising an eyebrow at him and looking clearly concerned.

"Yeah I- I just didn't sleep that well. We should get to class though."

For a moment they just looked at him, but when George shrugged his shoulders, they thankfully left it at that and headed into their classroom.

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When the bell finally announced their break, Carlos was more than relieved. He couldn't concentrate at all the past hour and half and a break would do him good.

With George and Alex by his side they got down to the schoolyard, sitting down at their usual space by the trees. 

From where they sat, they could see Lando, Max and Charles smoking in secret. A few others were joining them, along with them Ana and Blanca.

Carlos bit into his apple.

"Really don't know when they became like this." Carlos mumbled.

"What? Who?" George asked.

Carlos nodded into their direction.

"I mean I know when Norris changed, but why are my sisters even hanging out with these idiots." Carlos continued.

"Ah, I always forget that you and Norris used to be friends." Alex added thoughtfully.

"Yeah..." Carlos mumbled.

"So, did he change or you?" George asks.

"I think we both did, but in different directions. That's why it stopped working. He started to care more about what other people think and I started to care less. One day we had a huge fight and that was it."

"Did you fight about that or was there something more?" Alex asked.

"It was a built up to be honest. We were not on a same wavelength for some time at that point, but I lost it when he showed up on my birthday five hours later, because he rather attended some party, than celebrating with his best friend. He showed up totally drunk and didn't even care. I confronted him. Asked him why he suddenly cared so much about being popular."

"What did he say?" George asked.

"That I wouldn't get it anyway and that he was tired of being the outsider. I said try me, but he didn't. Only said that he had enough of me and that he was better off without me anyway. I just shut the door in front of his face and he left. We didn't talk for a while and when he finally got what he wanted, he started making fun of me to impress Leclerc and Verstappen. I knew that we were over for good then."

"That sucks." George declared.

Carlos shrugged his shoulders.

"It's whatever."

"But don't you think it's weird? How can someone change their mind from one day to another?" Alex asked, curiously.

"I don't know, but I don't care anymore. He can do whatever he wants, but without me."

For a moment Carlos looked over. When he did, blue eyes were staring back at him.

They held it, their eye contact. That was until Lando got nudged by Charles and turned away.

Carlos shook himself. They should stop doing this. He didn't even know why they were doing this. It always feels like longing glances, but it made no sense. There was a reason why they're not in each other's lives anymore and they both accepted that long ago.

He got torn away from his thoughts when the bell rang again, signaling them all the beginning of their next lesson.

They got up and inside, where another lesson was waiting for them. This time it was their English class, where they were currently analyzing poems. Carlos looked forward to it.

His enthusiasm faded away at the end go the lesson, when they had barely ten minutes left. Everything was fine until that moment. They had talked about different poets and their different writing styles, but of course nothing could ever go well for him.

"For your homework I'll divide you into pairs. Each pair will have to analyze a poet and one of his works. Since we are always having the same groups, I'll decide the pairings this time. Let's see, Charles and Ana, you two will work with each other. Max and George, you too. Then we have Alex and Blanca. Ruby and James, as well as Steve and Natasha. Last but not least, Lando and Carlos. You have time until Thursday. I'm looking forward to see your work."

This cannot be real.

Carlos heard Lando bang his head onto the table and you know what, yeah.

Because what the fuck? 

Why did the universe hate him?

When he turned around he saw how Blanca nudged Lando, probably telling him to stop being overdramatic.

The classroom then slowly emptied himself. Carlos packed his things extra slow, with no intention of speaking to Lando first.

George and Alex only had thrown him sympathetic looks before leaving. They weren't exactly happy with their choices either, Alex getting the best out of them because at least he could work with Ana. But they had sensed that Carlos wanted to be alone with Lando to discuss things, so they left.

"If you work as slow as you pack your stuff, I don't know how we going to make this work. Because I definitely won't be doing this alone."

Carlos closed his backpack, before he turned around. 

"I think your intelligence will be the main problem in this, rather than my working pace. Which is excellent, thank you very much."

"Fine, do it alone then. Since you're so much better than me."

"Ha, you wish. I'm free the next days, so we have three days to work on it."

"What makes you think I'm free? Maybe I have plans?"

"I'm sure you can stick out on some parties for this. I'm not failing in this because of you."

"You're so annoying. It's just homework."

"Sure, she will grade it afterwards anyway. I don't want a bad grade on my report card, just because you needed to be somewhere unimportant."

"Oh my god, fine. I'll come to yours after school. Hopefully we can get this done today, so I don't have to waste more time on this."

"When?" Carlos asks.

"Don't know."

"3' o clock." he demands.

"I will see what I can do."

"Stop wasting my time and be there on time." Carlos said, already annoyed.

"Yeah, whatever." Lando said, leaving him while rolling his eyes.

Carlos wanted to scream. 

When did he became so difficult?

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When Carlos got home that day, he quickly tidied up his room and then waited for Lando, since he was supposed to be here in half an hour. 

He debated to start already, but since they had to decide on a poet and one of his works first, he quickly threw that thought away. He did not believe that Lando would care much about who and what they picked, but nevertheless he decided to wait and be a decent person. They still could fight over it later.

Since he still had some time, Carlos fetched his current book from his bedside table and began to read. He really got lost in it, not noticing the time. It was only when his sister Blanca stuck her head into his room, to tell him she will be going to Alex's and take Ana with her.

He did look up and only nodded, but then his eyes fell on the clock that clearly read: 15:43.

Carlos groaned.

Maybe he got caught up in his book, but why can Lando never be anywhere on time.

This was starting well. When he heard the door close, he already wanted to text Lando but then his door swung open and Lando came in with an ease that made Carlos blood almost boil.

"Nice of you to finally show up, but who even let you in?"

Lando slowly put his sunglasses off. 

At least some decency is left in him, good.

"Stop being overdramatic. I came here just when your sisters were leaving. Before you give me a lecture about being late, I just didn't manage to do everything in time, okay?"

"You could've texted."

Now Lando groaned.

"Stop being so difficult and just let us get started. I want this to be over, as much as you do."

Carlos couldn't argue with that, so he just put his book away and started his laptop. Before Lando sat down he picked it up, looking at it.

"Pride and Prejudice, really?"

Carlos rolls this eyes.

"It's a classic."

"Yeah and old and I bet boring."

"You don't have to understand this. I know it's above your understanding."

Lando rolls his eyes and throws the book onto Carlos bed.

"Do you have another personality trait, besides being smart?"

"Do you have one, besides being an asshole?" Carlos smiles sarcastically.

Lando rolls his eyes again and Carlos thinks at the end of this day, they'll both have a migraine from rolling their eyes so often.

"Let's just start." Lando says, as he takes his seat next to Carlos.

"Okay, I was thinking we could do When you are old by Yeats. It's simple because it's written in a language we understand. I don't want to translate the whole thing, before we analyze it. Also I think Mrs. Wolff said she liked him a few lessons ago. So we have an advantage in that."

"Whatever you say, teachers pet. I could use a good grade and I hate the old language."

Carlos holds himself back from rolling his eyes this time and just sighs.

"Maybe you can just stop being difficult for the time we are working on this project. Don't worry, no one will know that you didn't make my live a living hell, while doing this."

Carlos looked at Lando and for a second he thought that he saw Lando's face soften, but it soon went away, getting replaced by his usual "I don't care" - look. That's what he gets as an answer too.

"Whatever. Can you open it, so I can read it?"

Carlos swallowed.

"Sure." Carlos said and so he did. Lando started to read it out loud.

"When you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars."

Now he saw Lando swallowing. Carlos knew what he had picked was romantic, but he loved this poem.

"That's romantic, isn't it." Lando asks.

"It is, but it's beautiful. Most of the poems from this time are not and I really don't want to talk about how every country built up army's or something equally boring."

"You were always such a romantic." Lando mumbled, but Carlos catched it.

What?

Carlos wanted to ask exactly that, but Lando beat him to it.

"Okay, uhm so we start with the poem and then we will research him? I think for the presentation it'll make more sense the other way around, though."

All Carlos could do is nod, too taken aback from Lando's comment a few moments ago.

After that, they work relatively smoothly though. Lando had to bite his tongue a few times, but always managed to.

When it got late, they had already accomplished more than Carlos would've thought.

"I think we did enough for today. Tomorrow we can do the research on him and on Wednesday whatever is left."

Lando let out a satisfied groan.

"That means I can leave?"

"Yes, you are free for the rest of today."

"Nice, see ya you muppet! Bye." Lando said cheerfully, as he grabbed his things and let himself out. 

It's only when the door closes, that Carlos realizes that Lando had called him by his nickname.

A nickname he hasn't heard in years.

He stares at his door for a while after that, ignoring the warm feeling that spreads through his chest at the memory.

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The next day went on quite well, until their second break.

George had been texting into their group yesterday, that working with Max was almost impossible, but Carlos didn't expect them to actually argue about it.

They were still standing in the classroom. At first Carlos didn't pay any mind to their discussion, until he heard George curse.

"I told you, this is the right way to interpret it. No one wants your stupid interpretation of how this could be a poem about cars, when they didn't even exist back in the day!" George said, throwing his hands over his head.

"There is more than one way to interpret this, you asshole. And who gave you the right to call me stupid, huh?" Max said, fuming.

 Then Max shoved George back, so hard that he bumped against the tables.

It was the moment Carlos knew, he had to go in between them. He could at least try to save George from getting beaten up. 

But Max was already close to George, speaking in a low and dangerous volume.

"Besides, I'm not listening to someone like you anyway." he sneered.

Finally, Carlos arrived at the two of them. The others around wouldn't do a thing of course, besides staring and waiting for some fight to happen.

Idiots.

"Back off, Max. That's enough." he said, staring at Max.

At that, Max let go of George a little bit. Only to turn to Carlos instead, of corse.

"You don't get to tell me what to do either Carlos. Besides, stop getting involved in something that has nothing to do with you." he spit.

Before Carlos could say something back, Lando turned up. 

"Max!"

Max turned, but Lando was now beside him.

Great, that could only escalate further.

Lando put a hand on Max's shoulder and slowly dragged him away.

"Stop it, it's not worth it." he said, and Carlos stared at him.

What?

"I can't work with him, Lando. This loser calls me stupid, while he copies everything that already has been said. No thinking outside the box." he complained.

"Let him, okay? It's not worth it, with these Idiots anyway. Let's go outside and have another smoke, before the last lesson starts."

Max gave them both a last angry look, before turning around and leaving. Carlos couldn't really focus on this though, because Lando looked at him.

Lando looked at him with an expression on his face, Carlos hasn't seen in so long. It was his soft face and it almost looked apologetic. Carlos could only nod at him, hoping he would get it as a "Thank you". He couldn't quite believe what just had happened.

When Lando, Max and the rest were gone for good, George spoke.

"Did Lando just save my ass?"

"Looks like it." Carlos mumbles.

When Alex came back from the bathroom, he looked in his friends faces and probably saw nothing but astonishment.

"Uhm, what did I miss?"

"A lot mate, a lot." George just answered.

Then he slung an arm around Alex, while they started to head outside.

Carlos followed them, but his thoughts couldn't stop spiraling around Lando.

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When Carlos came home that day, he was still deep in his thoughts. 

He knew he had to hurry though, that's why he quickly grabbed some lunch and was ready to hide in his room until he had to go to Lando's. Unfortunately his mother catched that something was wrong and called him back into the kitchen.

"Darling, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice soft.

"Nothing, mamá. I just need to hurry. I'm meeting up with Lando in an hour."

"Lando?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

"I thought you two weren't talking to each other anymore." she stated, sipping her tea.

"Uh, we don't. We just have to get that school project done and Mrs. Wolff paired us up."

"I think it's sad, that you're not friends anymore. You never told me what happened, but you two were such good friends back in the day." she said, clearly not knowing how much Lando had hurt Carlos.

"People change, mamá and so did Lando and I." Carlos just said, hoping the conversation would be over soon enough.

"Okay, but if you ever want to talk about something, you know where to find me, yes?"

Carlos just nodded, gave her a little smile and then finally fled into his room.

For the next thirty minutes he tried to eat, but nothing really got down his throat. Too much memories were coming up right now and Carlos almost cancelled on Lando.

They needed to get done with that project though, so he tried to get away from today's fight, the way Lando had looked at him and the talk with his mother. He grabbed his stuff and quickly texted his driver to pick him up.

The drive wasn't that long and soon enough, he stood in front of that huge brown wooden door again. It has been a while since he has been here.

He rang the bell nervously, adjusted his shirt, glasses and his hair one more time and then Lando opened the door for him.

"Come in." he just said, without really looking at Carlos.

Great. 

Why did he even bother, right?

They eventually got upstairs into Lando's room. It was still a mess, just like back in the day. But Carlos could swear that Lando at least tidied up a little bit.

"We wanted to focus on Yeast today, right?" Lando asked.

Carlos nodded.

He wanted to bring up the situation from earlier, but he didn't really know what to say so he didn't.

"I already looked him up and I think we could start with-" Lando said, but got interrupted by loud screams that sounded like his parents, arguing about something. 

They were so loud, Carlos could hear every word, even through the closed door of Lando's room. For a moment, there was silence. Neither of them knew what to say. Lando looked annoyed and ashamed, Carlos helpless. After a few minutes of screaming, there was a door being slammed shut. From the sounds of it, it was Lando's father leaving.

Carlos saw Lando flinch at the sound.

Then it was finally quiet again.

"I told them you were coming and they just-" Lando started, clearly angry.

Carlos tried to calm him down.

"It's okay, but if you want to talk-" Carlos started, but Lando interrupted him.

"No, let's just get on with this project okay? I'm fine."

Carlos looked at him, worried.

"Oh, please I don't need your pity. Another word about this to anyone and you're dead too, capiché?" Lando said, shutting Carlos up with this.

He just nodded. He couldn't do anything if Lando didn't want to talk and why did he care anyway?

They just started with their research then, working together quite well.

After a few hours they decided that it's enough for the day and that they could finish the rest tomorrow.

Carlos said goodbye and when he got outside, his driver was already waiting for him to drive him home.

His thoughts on the way, were once again consumed by Lando.

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The next day came and after the first period, Carlos met with Alex and George at their usual spot. They had different classes in the first period, but now they could spend the rest of the school day together.

George looked over to Lando, Max and their friends, before he started complaining about Max.

"He is unbelievable, really. If his head wasn't tied to his neck, I think he would've long lost it. Nothing is going on in his brain and whenever anything is not going his way, he leashes out with unnecessary anger and borderline violence."

"Did you at least get anything done?" Alex asked.

"He just told me I can do whatever I want and to send it to him later. This way I have to do everything on my own, but at least I don't have to listen to his stupid takes anymore." 

"I feel you, mate. I know Blanca is your sister Carlos, but she really does nothing if she's not interested in. I have to do most of the work on my own."

Carlos shrugged.

"She has always been that way. If this would've been about the origins of Vogue, you wouldn't have to lift one finger, but it's not." he added.

"Yeah, thanks mate. How is it going with you and Lando, anyway. You haven't told us anything." Alex asks, clearly curios.

Even George looked at him with curios, yet careful eyes.

Carlos shrugged.

"Nothing to talk about. We work together and that's it."

"What? No snarky remarks or complaints from him?" George asked, skeptical.

"I just told him I want to get over with this and he agreed. We are almost finished, finalizing everything today."

"You lucky bastard. I have so much to do today, I don't even know where to start." George complained again, while Alex just looked at him like he couldn't quite believe it.

He didn't say anything else, just lets George complain a little more. His eyes once again wander to Lando though and again, he was already looking at him.

He took a drag from his cigarette, looked away from Carlos and blew the smoke into Max's face. Max of course, started to cough and shove Lando away, who was just grinning. Carlos could swear Max called him a bastard.

When his eyes travelled back, he looked into Carlos eyes again. His eyes were still crinkling slightly from the moment before and Carlos had to look away.

He didn't notice that Alex had watched them the whole time.

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It was already time for Lando to show up at his house, so he quickly threw away some clothes and put his books away.

When he heard the doorbell ring, he was already on his way downstairs, but his mom beat him to open the door.

"Lando, nice to see you. Come in."

"Uh, thank you Reyes." Lando said, a little unsure and caught off guard.

Great.

Carlos finally got all the way down, but his mom already talked to Lando in a way he couldn't escape her.

"I said to Carlos, it has been such a long time since you have been here. If you two want, I'm making some chocolate cake right now. Also if you want to stay for dinner, just tell me, yes?" she started and Lando looked utterly lost.

"Mamá!" Carlos warned slightly, but still friendly.

Lando looked at him, relieved.

"Carlos, I just wanted to be nice. No need to worry, I'll let you work on your project."

"Thanks Mamá, but we really have to finish this today."

With that, he led Lando up the stairs into his room. When he closed the door, Lando let himself fall into the chair next to Carlos.

"Thanks." he said, not elaborating further.

Carlos shrugged his shoulders.

"She likes you, always has."

Lando smiled a little at that, but it quickly faded away. Probably because they both know what was left unsaid.

Because she doesn't know what happened between us.

"I like her too. She always brings such warmth." he said and Carlos smiled at that.

"She does."

For a moment, nothing is said. Then Lando broke the silence.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday at my house. My parents are going through a rough patch and didn't know you were there already. Mom is saying sorry."

Carlos looked at him, surprised at the sudden honesty. Maybe he could do that too.

"You don't need to apologize. I was just worried about you. I know we don't exactly talk, but I didn't know your parents were on the verge of divorcing."

Lando swallowed.

"They have been for a while now. Sometimes I think we all would be happier if they would just get through with it instead of trying again and again."

"I mean if they're still fighting for it, maybe there is some love left. Maybe it's something they just need to repair."

Lando laughs sarcastically.

"There is too much broken, too much beyond repair but they refuse to believe it. They're fighting for something that is already gone."

"They have to decide that, but are you okay?" Carlos asks, quietly.

"I- It's whatever. It's not like they care about my opinion anyway."

"I doubt that is true, Lando."

Lando snorts.

"It is. It doesn't matter what I want to do with my life, they have already planned it out."

"Well, if your only plan is to party until you're dead, that's very caring of them."

Lando rolls his eyes.

"No, that's not my plan."

"What is it then? Do you want to start some hideous career like Max and Charles?" Carlos pressed.

"For someone who has more books than friends, you're quite the pain in the ass." Lando countered.

"But no, I-" he continued, but stopped.

As if he was deciding if he really wanted to tell Carlos.

"What are your plans?" Carlos asks again, trying to encourage Lando.

"I wanna be a graphic designer. I already did some things and in my own humble opinion they're not that bad."

"Do you have some on you? I will tell you if they're shit."

For a moment Lando hesitated, looking almost a little insecure.

"I'm sure they're fine." Carlos reassured him.

Lando nodded at that and pulled out his phone. He opened his gallery and showed some pictures to Carlos.

Carlos had to grab the phone, to look at them more closely. Therefore he had to get rid of his glasses, so he put them to the side.

"Wow, these are really cool. Where did you learn this?"

"Just by myself, I guess."Lando said, shrugging.

Carlos scrolled further, now looking at some neon green, yellow and black shapes.

"I really like them. I think this one would look good on a helmet. So everyone can see you. " Lando rolled his eyes, but smiled.

When Carlos gave Lando his phone back and wanted to grab his glasses again, Lando was faster.

"Do you even need these?" he asked, trying them on.

"Yes?" Carlos said, like what a question.

Lando looked at him and Carlos tried to not let the pink on his cheeks show at the sight of Lando.

"Without it, you look so much... less boring." Lando said, while brushing some hair out of Carlos face and suddenly it was so much harder to breathe.

Lando didn't seem to notice though.

"Maybe I will borrow it one day so I look more intelligent." Lando grins and Carlos was just gone for a moment.

When he finally regained his speaking capability, he was able to tell Lando to fuck off properly.

"Fuck off, these glasses wouldn't do anything for you, since the only thing in your brain at this point must be beer."

"Ha, you're so wrong again."

Carlos raised an eyebrow.

"Sure, now let me have my glasses so we can actually finish this project."

"Hmm, what if I don't want to work on this project." Lando said.

Suddenly, their faces were close. A little too close for just two classmates working on a project. Lando had Carlos glasses in his right hand, slightly swinging them next to his head. Carlos eyes wandered there for a second, then he looked back at Lando. The grin that was spread there a few seconds ago was gone. Instead there was something else, something that sounded so insane, that Carlos didn't even dare to spell it out in his head.

Lando's eyes wandered around in his face, lastly ending at his lips.

Carlos swallowed.

His eyes wandered to Lando's lips on their own accord, like he didn't have a say in that. When he regained at least a bit of dignity and looked up, he saw Lando still looking onto his.

Suddenly the door to Carlos room swung open and his mother came in. Both of them immediately flinched away, probably looking more than caught. His mother either pretended that she has seen nothing our really didn't, but Carlos wasn't sure about this.

"Carlitos, Lando. I got some chocolate cake for you two. Just to make it all a bit more bearable." she said, while placing two pieces of cake on the table.

"Thanks, Mom." Carlos said, while he felt his cheeks burning.

His mother just winks at them, before she leaves the room again. 

Carlos clears his throat.

"Uh, yeah I think we can eat while we're getting started?"

Lando just nods, hands Carlos his glasses and picks up his piece of cake. Carlos opens their project and starts to fill out some of the things they already did yesterday.

The rest of their evening went on a little strange, but over all they just ignored their little incident.

That doesn't mean that Carlos forgot it. After Lando was gone Carlos laid down in his bed, thinking about everything that had happened today.

Not only did they almost kiss, Lando also opened up to him, apologized for his parents and Carlos was almost sure that he attempted to flirt with him.

Yes, Carlos knew now that Lando wasn't straight but that didn't mean he fell in love with every men he met. Especially not the one, who he had despised until last week. Carlos didn't even know why Lando hated him. He was the one who got hurt, because of Lando's actions.

So why the hell was he even acting like this?

Acting like Carlos was the one that hurt him, that he was the reason why their friendship ended. Maybe he just despised everything Carlos stood for. Maybe after getting his new cool friends and newly acquired status, he needed to get rid of everything that could take that away again. Lando was the one who ended their friendship. He didn't want Carlos in his life anymore, caring more about Max and Charles, than about him or his feelings.

Feelings. That is a good point, isn't it? Because Carlos used to have them for Lando and maybe that was the reason why it had all hurt so much. Perhaps they had never really gone away either.

That didn't explain Lando's actions, though. Neither why he treated him like shit, nor why he suddenly acted like he actually liked Carlos again.

Maybe there was a bet or something. Carlos didn't even want to know.

It was all fucked up.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

Thursday came around and Carlos and Lando actually get to present their project. It went well, getting an A on the homework and with that, securing half of their grade for this semester. The other groups didn't do a bad job either, even if you could tell by half of them, that only one person did all the work.

For the rest of the day and the next one, Carlos didn't see Lando much. They both hung out with their friends again, both with a lot of distance between their groups considering there was still bad blood between George and Max.

When the bell finally rang on Friday around noon, he was glad. He was more than ready for the weekend, the first week being nothing but stressful. He said goodbye to George and Alex, after they had arranged to meet up on the weekend, if they would find a time that suited everyone.

For the rest of the afternoon, Carlos just read a little, made some of his homework that wasn't too time consuming and watched some tv.

That was until both of his sister came into his room and that could mean no good.

"Carlitoooos." Blanca started.

"What do you two want?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Who says we want something?" Blanca asked, acting offended.

"Please." Carlos said, mockingly.

"Okay, we do. Since Mom and Dad are going out tonight to that Gala or whatever, we said we are hosting a little get together." Ana started.

"By little you mean?" Carlos asked.

"Like 10 people, nothing mayor but since Pierre and Charles are coming over, we thought that you could maybe go hang out with your friends like somewhere else?" Ana asked, blinking her eyelashes.

"You two are gross, but since I don't want to see or hear that, I'll be gone." Carlos rolled his eyes, while their sisters hugged him.

"Thank you, you are the best brother in the world." they squeaked, excitedly.

"Sure, when should I be gone?"

"I think Mom and Dad are leaving half past eight, so like right after they're out of sight? The others arrive at eight, I think." Ana said, half thinking out loud.

"Got it and now get lost."

They did, but Carlos sighed.

He knew Alex and George were busy today. Alex had his weekly meeting with his neighbor. A sweet 84-year old lady, that adored Alex and his cats and George was off to his magic trick night. He was so excited about it and had been talking to Alex and Carlos about his new tricks all week. He probably could join both of them, but he'd rather not. 

He decided on just taking a walk and texting Alex after a while. Maybe they could hang out when he was back at his flat again.

So that's exactly what he did as soon as his parents left. 

At first he just wanders through their neighborhood, but then he thinks about the little lake not too far away from here. 

On his way there he looked into the sky, which was already changing into a beautiful sunset. When he got to the lake, he took a moment to take it all in. It looked beautiful. The trees were so full and green. The wind was slowly stroking the leaves and the sun was shining through them perfectly. It had been a beautiful day.

When he got closer to the lake itself, he suddenly saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench right at the water.

Carlos almost stopped breathing.

That couldn't be...

No, he was probably at his home, partying with all of his friends. Why would he sit here alone?

But the closer Carlos gets to him, the more certain he gets of his assumption. When he stopped next to the bench, he looked at Lando.

"Is this seat still available?" He asks, his voice quiet.

Lando looked up at him but his eyes told Carlos, that he was miles away.

"Sure." he just said eventually, but turning away again. 

Carlos sat down, looking at the lake in front of them just like Lando.

"Thought you would be at my house, being one of the guests of my sisters little get together."

Lando shrugged.

"Was about to, but I don't know if I really want to go."

"You? Missing out on a party? That's new."

Lando laughs quietly.

"Yeah, maybe it is. Doesn't mean it's bad."

Carlos looked at him.

"Depends on the reason why you're not going."

"Sometimes you get bored of the people around you. Sometimes you can't stand seeing the same faces everyday."

"Are we talking about your friends or your parents."

Lando swallows.

"Both, I guess."

Carlos hesitates, but when Lando spoke again, he answers the question that was sitting on his tongue.

"My parents are getting a divorce. I should be happy, shouldn't I? It's what I wanted. For them to finally stop fighting. They did now. They're only talking with wach other through their lawyers." Lando laughs bitterly.

"Just because you wanted it that way, doesn't mean you're not allowed to be hurt by this."

"I shouldn't care."

"They are your parents, of course you care."

"They don't either. In all of this they never considered me or how I felt about this. Not even once they asked, what I want. I mean they can decide about their relationship, but they also will decide where I will live. My dad will move out and either I'll go with him or stay with my mom. Depends on who tolerates me either, I guess."

"You are allowed to decide that for yourself, Lando."

"Sure. It sounds easy, but you try arguing with your parents, when they don't even listen to you."

"They will and as long as they don't, you can talk to me."

That's when Lando finally looks at him.

"Why are you doing this? I don't deserve that."

Carlos shrugs his shoulders.

"I know we have our history, but that doesn't mean I can't be there for you when you're going through something."

Lando laughs again, quietly.

"Then you're a better person, than most of my friends."

"That is not hard." Carlos deadpans, which earned him a nudge into his side from Lando.

"Sorry, I just don't really get what you see in them. I mean Charles seems alright, but Max? Steve? James? And don't get me started on Daniel that Idiot."

"First of all, if you apologize you should stick to that and not make it even worse. Second, you might be right about some of them, but you're also wrong."

"Oh wow, tell me then. Who is really a good person?"

Lando rolls his eyes, but answers him anyway.

"You are right, Charles is alright and not as superficial as he might come across. Max might have a hard shell, but he has a good heart. Steve and James are alright and Daniel is an idiot, but he can be fun."

Carlos raises his eyebrow.

"Max almost beat up George again this week and I don't think Daniel has ever said something smart or non offensive. The way he talks about the girls is disgusting and I'm pretty sure if we were in America he'd vote for Trump."

"Okay, okay you're probably right." Lando laughs.

"But he's around, what can I do?"

"Tell him to fuck off to his own classmates, that are his age and not two years younger?"

Lando rolls his eyes again.

"Sure, I bet that would go great."

"If you're ever brave enough to do it, please call me I want to see his face." Carlos grins.

"You're unbelievable, but I'm pretty sure George isn't all good either."

"He maybe is a bit weird, but he is a good friend. That's all that matters."

Lando snorts.

"Yeah and a bit full of himself." he added.

"Says the one who has the biggest ego himself." Carlos countered.

It was supposed to be a joke, but the way Lando answered was more serious.

"Fake it 'till you make it."

Carlos looks at Lando, not believing that he had heard.

"What?"

Now Lando looks back at him, and shrugs.

"Do you think we are all perfect? That none of us has issues?"

"You sure act like it." Carlos mumbles and Lando looks away, his eyes fixed on the lake again.

"Acting is the right word for it. We just hide it better than you lot do."

"Why would you out of all people be insecure? You could have any person you want to be with, your grades aren't bad, you are popular and every teacher adores you. You grew up privileged and never had to worry about anything."

Lando laughs bitterly before he speaks again.

"I can have everyone, but no one really wants me. My grades are barely good enough for my parents or for any university. The teachers do not adore me, they tolerate me but they don't like me at all. They just don't scream at me, because they're scared of my parents. I may never had to worry about finances, but my parents are having a divorce, none of my friends fucking cares and if someone ever finds out all of this and more, I'm fucked."

Lando breathes out, his voice gets quieter.

"Besides, I barely have any plans for what I am going to do after school. Only a dream that will never become reality. When I get into University, my parents will force me to study law or economics and if I don't succeed in that, they will probably disinherit me. That is, if they don't do it before then. For example if I bring home a boyfriend one day."

The last sentence was almost whispered.

Carlos looks at him.

"I know it's hard, but as soon as you're out of school you can move out. You can do whatever you want, you don't need their approval. Neither in your career, nor in your personal relationships."

"Still, would be nice to have it." Lando adds.

"Yes, of course. I am just saying that you can decide what you want to do. As long as you do something that has, at least a gives them a little hope of turning into a career, they will be fine with it. About the boyfriend thing, when it happens they just have to accept it, but I am sure at least your mother will. She loves you so much Lando, even if she isn't able to show it all the time."

Carlos reached out, places his hand on Lando's shoulder to provide a little more comfort.

Lando just lets himself fall against Carlos. His head on Carlos shoulder, his body pressed next to him. Carlos could feel Lando's curls brushing against his neck.

"Thank you, Carlos." Lando whispered, while looking into the beautiful sunset in front of them.

Carlos could only nod, too caught up in whatever is happening between them right now.

They sat there for a while after that, until it was completely dark outside. He felt Lando shiver against him.

"Hey, maybe we should both get somewhere warmer."

Lando nodded, getting up and leaving Carlos body cold.

"Thanks for, you know listening and stuff. I really appreciate it."

"No need to thank me Lando, really."

Lando nodded at that.

"Are you going home?" Lando then asked.

Carlos shakes his head.

"I wanted to stop by Alex. I'm not sure if my sisters succeeded with seducing Charles and Pierre but I'd rather not find out."

Lando grimaces.

"I really didn't need to know this, but I should probably show up there as well, since I was invited."

"Yeah, do that. I think I'll be at Alex for an hour only. If you see them, tell them they need to be done until then."

Lando grimaces again, but then laughs.

"Sure, will tell them. Good Night, Carlos." he said, way too softly for just friends.

Were they even friends?

Lando stepped away and Carlos looked after him, way too long.

When he was out of sight, Carlos fished his phone out of his pocket to write Alex, only to find a string of messages from his friends.

21:00

Alex: I'm so bored, Mary cancelled on me tonight because she has a date, can you believe that?

George: Isn't she 84 year's old or something?

Alex: Yes and she apparently has more of love life going on, than any of us.

George: Even more of a life than we have, it seems.

Alex: Aren't you at your magic show? Why are you texting anyway?

George: I was, until one of the kids set the table on fire and we had to call the fire department. I am home now and extremely disappointed.

Alex: Why don't we meet up then? Bet Carlos hasn't going on anything either.

George: I'm in.

Alex: Carlos?

Alex: Carlos??

Alex: Why isn't he answering?

George: Maybe he is busy?

Alex: With what? He wanted to stay home tonight.

George: I don't know, but stop being so impatient. I'm coming over, he will be joining us when he reads these messages.

22:30

Alex: Carlos ?????

George: ????

With that, the messages ended.

Carlos felt bad, they probably thought something happened to him.

23:05

Carlos: Sorry guys, I was busy. 

He didn't clarify what he did or with whom. They didn't have to know this.

Yes, they were his best friend, but something about this new thing with Lando still felt so fragile. He didn't want to ruin it and for that no one could know, not even George and Alex.

He decided against stopping by at Alex's, knowing he definitely would have to explain himself if he got there now.

Instead he went for a walk around the lake before heading home. The party was still going on, but he could see most people sitting at their fire place, including his sisters. This meant he would have his peace.

He didn't see Lando anywhere, but he wouldn't want to talk to him now anyway. Too afraid something would break between them.

So he just got ready for bed, put his headphones on and listened to some music, before he fell asleep.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

On Monday Carlos got to school a little early. He had an art project he still had to finish and now was the perfect time to do the last touch up's. The school was quiet, no one was really around that early.

It was perfect, because this way Carlos had the room all to himself. He could concentrate better that way anyway.

Soon enough he got to work, making the final brush strokes on his landscape painting.

The time flew by and soon enough he had to get back. He needed to wash off the color of his hands and when he would be done with that, it would almost be time for their first period of the day.

When he got out of the art-classroom he saw that there were now significantly more people than an hour ago.

Normally Carlos didn't pay them any mind, but something was weird today. Everyone was whispering and looking at their phones.

When he came to his locker, George and Alex were already there.

"There you are. You have to see this." George said immediately, while almost shoving his phone into Carlos hands.

What he saw, immediately knocked all of the air out of his lungs.

It was a video of Lando at the party on Friday. He was clearly flirting with a guy, Carlos had never seen before. The fact that he looked a little like Carlos, was something he ignored for now.

This was horrible.

"Someone posted that this morning. Some people are even saying they kissed later. Can you believe that? Lando Norris, who sleeps with every girl available is not straight?" George said and Carlos feels the anger rising up in him.

"So what, how would you feel about being outed to the whole school without your consent like this, huh?" Carlos barked at him.

"Hey, calm down Carlos. We are not saying it's great. We were just surprised." Alex tried to save the situation.

"Maybe word it different then next time. I'm going to wash my hands, see you later." Carlos said, leaving without giving them another chance to explain themselves.

He got into the restrooms and quickly washed his hands, getting rid of all the color. He was just drying his hands, when he suddenly got shoved into the wall, hard.

"What the fuck?" he let out, ignoring the urge to let out a noise at how much it hurt.

When he looked at his attacker, he looked into blue eyes that were oh so familiar.

Lando had a hood on his head, but Carlos still recognized him.

"Fuck you! Why did you do that?" Lando said, his voice unsteady but also angry.

"What?" Carlos asked, confused.

Lando let go of him but still looked at him angrily, maybe even a bit hurt.

"Stop lying to me. You were the only one that knew. How could you do this to me after everything I told you? I thought I could trust you. I thought you would never do this to me."

"What are you talking about Lando and what are you doing? You can trust me I-"

"Trust you? So next time you can post a video of me making out with a guy?"

"What? Are you talking about that video?"

"Of course, I am. Stop playing with me or I swear to God-" Lando started, but Carlos interrupted him.

"You really think, I would do this?"

"I don't know, apparently you did. It was filmed at your house on Friday. Everyone was at the fire place, expect you. Also I don't know anyone else that would do that. And I thought, you of all people would understand this."

"Oh I know many people who would do that to you. But me? I do understand you. I just defended you from George, telling him that this is horrible. Why would you even think I was capable of doing something like this to you?"

"Because you wanted to get back at me? You planned all of this, played nice to get me to spill all my secrets, so then you could use them, against me? Am I right?" Lando said, his voice almost breaking at the end.

"If you really think that was me, you don't know me at all."

"That's right. I don't anymore."

Carlos got angry, maybe his heart began hurting at that a little too.

"And whose fault is that? Let's talk about that, because I'm so tired of you treating me like shit when you're the one that ended our friendship. You have no right to be upset or angry at me because you wanted it like that and everyday you're punishing me for something you did."

"You really are so damn stupid, it's unbelievable."

"I am stupid?"

"Yes you are, because you don't get it. You never did."

"You always told me that, but you didn't even try to make me understand. You just shut me out of your life for good."

"You would never understand how I felt, because you have everything Carlos. You have a family that loves you through and through. Your parents and your sisters would do anything for you, if you would ask them. You have good grades, you know how to talk to people so they instantly like you. You have friends that would go through thick and thin with you. You have people who care." 

Carlos could see tears shimmering in Lando's eyes.

"I don't. I never did and now you destroyed the last thing I had left. Just because you needed to get back at me." He added, quietly.

Carlos was speechless, but he still forced himself to answer Lando.

"You had that too, but you threw it away for popularity and fame. I was your friend Lando. My family loved you so much, sometimes I thought they liked you more than me. You are smart, you just hide it, to look cool. You could've talked about everything with me, but you decided to push me away in the harshest way. I didn't do this, but if you feel better believing this, there's nothing I can do. But I think deep down you know, that this wasn't me. I would never hurt you, even though I had every right to, after what you did to me."

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you did to me. You have no idea how much I was hurting. How much I wanted to tell you I-"

Carlos didn't let him finish his sentence.

"Stop it. I can't listen to this anymore. Believe whatever you want, but please just leave me alone."

With that, Carlos left the bathroom and Lando behind. He was already late for their first lesson, so he had to hurry. 

What he didn't know, is that if he would've let Lando finish his sentence he would've heard Lando say the words, he had dreamed of so many times.

You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you did to me. You have no idea how much I was hurting. How much I wanted to tell you I love you, every time I saw you.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

Carlos was in a bad mood all morning after what had happened with Lando before their school day had even started.

In second break, Alex carefully asked him about it.

Brave.

"Everything alright with you? You have been in a mood the whole day. Are you still mad at us?"

Carlos shakes his head.

"Got into a fight."

"What?" George asked.

"With whom? and when?" Alex asked, more literated.

"Lando." Carlos just said, without saying anything further.

"Will you tell us about it or do we have to drag everything out of you." Georeg asked again.

"There is nothing to tell. He is an asshole and that's it."

Luckily, his friends sensed that he didn't want to talk about it and let it go.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

Over the next few days nothing major happened, besides that Lando was ignoring him completely. Acting like nothing ever happened between them.

He had distanced himself from everyone but Max and Charles though, after the video of him and that mysterious guy went around.

People were still talking about it. But since Lando did not say a thing to anyone about it, at least not publicly, most people were just speculating.

Some said it has been a bet, others are sure he is gay and most of the girls are saying he had to be bisexual at least, because they had slept with him.

Honestly, Carlos was tired of hearing about it. Normally there should've been another scandal by now, but no one was in the mood to share more secrets, it seems.

He was on his way to his next class with George and Alex right beside him, when Lando, Max and Charles were walking straight forward at them.

Oh, great.

Of course, Lando couldn't let it slide and had to pick on them. When Carlos just wanted to pass them, getting away without anything else than disguting looks from all of them, Lando buffed him hard.

Carlos just wanted to ignore him, but Lando had to say something to him too.

"Look where you're going you pathetic looser." he sneered.

Carlos had to hold back Alex, who already wanted to fight Lando. George only stared at him angrily. There was an insult on the tip of hid tongue, but he refused to let it out. It would hurt Lando beyond and he didn't have to do this right now.

He just shakes his head and then turned away. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction to react to this or give him and his friends more reason to pick on him.

George and Alex joined him again after a few meters.

When they reached their classroom, Alex finally broke the silence.

"Why are you allowing him to speak to you like that. Why didn't you say anything?"

"What should I say? Everything I could've said would've turned into another fight. I don't have the strength for this and I don't want to involve more people in this fight."

"But you have to stand up for yourself, Carlos." Alex said.

Carlos shakes his head.

"Not when he is like this. There's no point. He is angry and hurting . If I start a fight, it would only play into his cards because he wants that. He wants to start a fight, so he can blame someone for his pain."

"Maybe Carlos, but he has no right to talk to you like this." Alex added.

"I don't care. He is blaming me anyway. If we all just ignore it, he'll get over it eventually."

"He's blaming you? For what?" George asks now.

Carlos sighs.

"He thinks I posted that Video of him."

"Well, did you?" Alex asked, carefully.

"What, no! I wasn't even there."

"Why would he think that, then?" George asked again.

"I don't know. He only needs someone to blame, I guess." Carlos said.

Lie.

"Well, it's all good that you're trying to be the bigger person here, but if he doesn't stop in a week, I'll tell him to fuck off." George said.

Carlos smiles slightly at that.

"Thank you, guys."

"Always." George and Alex said at the same time.

They all laughed about it.

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

It has been almost a week after his last incident with Lando and other than that, he had just ignored him. There had been some snide remarks, but nothing major.

Things had cooled down a bit, but people still talked about Lando. Some even revealed that they were homophobic dicks, which was no surprise to Carlos.

He had no time to concentrate on this though, because it was Blanca's birthday weekend. A party he would be invited to for once and he was actually happy to be there.

She wanted to celebrate into her birthday and there was still a lot to do.

They had already been shopping the food, beverages and decorations, but everything had to get laid out too.

While Carlos had put the drinks into the fridge, Ana was in the kitchen preparing all the food. When he was done, he started to help Blanca hanging up the decorations.

He was excited for her and hoped, that everything would be exactly as she had dreamed of. Their parents were gone for the night but would join them tomorrow, letting the kids have their time together first.

After a few hours they were done with everything. They all had enough time to get ready now. Since Carlos didn't need half the time Ana and Blanca needed, he decided to get downstairs already.

This way he could open the door in case neither of his sisters were ready. To his surprise, Ana came downstairs just a few minutes before the doorbell rang the first time. 

She quickly put one some music and then opened the door. The first people came in, but Carlos didn't pay them any mind. He was fine in his little corner in the conservatory, seeing everyone but not being in the masses directly.

The glass door that separated the conservatory with the library and the living room felt like a blessing. He really loved it here between all the books and plants. It was also way quieter than on the inside of their living room.

He grabbed himself a book and started to read.

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A few hours had gone by and it was almost time for Blanca to cut her cake and celebrate her birthday.

Carlos had told her earlier that he would bring in her cake, while Ana had the duty to film everything. 

That's why he got up and made his way into the kitchen. Between all the drunk and dancing people it wasn't the easiest task, but he managed it.

He took the cake out of the fridge and stuck the candles in. Then he looked at the time. It was almost midnight.

As on cue, he heard Ana screaming at everyone that it was time to celebrate Blanca and they should all gather on the terrace.

For as drunk as everyone was, they managed to do that rather quickly.

When there was only one minute left, Carlos lit the candles. Then he slowly lifted the cake, making his way outside.

As soon as everyone saw him, they started singing "Happy Birthday" for Blanca. At midnight, he set the cake on the table in front of her, so she could blow out her candles. She did and after Ana congratulated her with a hug, Carlos was the next.

He hugged her tightly. 

"Happy birthday, mi hermanita mayor. Te quiero." he said, almost getting emotional.

"Gracias, Carlos." she said.

When they separated and he wanted to go inside again, Blanca held him back.

"Stay for a little, please." she plead.

Carlos hestitated.

"You can celebrate with your friends, I-" he started, but Blanca interrupted him.

"Just for a while, please."

Carlos nodded and smiled at her slightly.

"Okay, but don't think I will participate in any drinking games."

"I would never." She said, grinning from ear to ear, but ultimately letting him go.

When he let go, Charles was already beside him, hugging her sister and congratulating her. Carlos got out of the crowd surrounding his sister, looking for a place where he could at least hide a little.

He had seen Lando, but wasn't in the mood to deal with him today.

He decided on a spot eventually, that was near their patio door, but far enough from all the hustle and bustle.

For a while he just sat there. He watched everyone congratulating Blanca and then how they slowly started returning to their former spots.

Even though he didn't like half of them, he liked to be here and be able to people watch. Some didn't even seem that bad when they were with their friends, talking comfortably.

The almost calm atmosphere suddenly got interrupted by two people screaming and something that sounded like the start of a physical fight.

When Carlos looked up, he saw Lando and Daniel. Lando had shoved Daniel into the wall aggressively. Everyone was looking at them and Carlos got up.

"It was you, you posted that video!" Lando screamed at him, angrily.

Daniel shoved him back.

"So what? It's not my fault you're a faggot!"

Carlos almost gasped.

What an asshole.

Apparently he was not the only one being shocked at this. Around him, everyone looked at the two of them, not fully grasping what is happening.

"I would say I am surprised to hear that from you, but you've always been an asshole."

It's the last thing Daniel hears from Lando, before he felt Lando's fist in his face.

Daniel staggered back a little, before his face went dark red and he fully launched himself at Lando, beating Lando up wherever he can.

Everyone was clearly in shock, but Blanca just screamed at Carlos.

"Carlos, do something please." she begged him, probably too afraid to get hurt herself.

Carlos swallowed. 

This was not the time to hold onto a grudge. 

That's why he got over to them, trying to separate them. He almost got beaten up by Daniel too, but just before he could, Charles was at his side helping him.

He shoved Daniel away, while Carlos got a hold of Lando. When they finally separated them, Charles was fuming. Rightfully so.

"Now get the fuck out of here and don't talk to us ever again, Ricciardo. No one wants you here anyway." he hissed at him.

"You're really taking that faggots side?" Daniel asks, angrily. 

He was looking around for people defending him, but no one took his side.

"You're a piece of shit. I'm so done with you and as you can see everyone else too. Fuck off to people your age and leave us alone." Charles continued.

Daniel looked around, but since no one was coming to his rescue, he left swearing.

After he was gone, Charles turned to Lando and Carlos.

"Can you take care of him, I need to make sure there are no other assholes left here."

Carlos just nods, but before he was able to go, Charles catched his arm.

"Thank you." he said and it's the earnest thing Carlos had ever heard him say.

"Thank you, too. He deserved that." Carlos said.

"Just saying what everyone thought." Charles said and Carlos nodded.

Then he put a hand on Lando's lower back, guiding him inside onto the second floor.

He sat him down at the bathtub rim, locked the door and got the first aid kit out of their cabinets.

Lando had been all quiet until now, he just started to speak when Carlos started to clean his wounds with warm wash clothes.

Well, at first he just hissed but then he started to talk.

"You don't have to do this." he murmurs.

"Maybe I don't, but I want to."

"I don't deserve this." he added quietly.

"Can you just let me do this, please. We can talk about what you deserve afterwards."

That shut Lando up, at least for the time Carlos was cleaning up the wounds in his face. 

"You have to get out of your shirt, he hit you pretty bad there too."

Without a word Lando got rid of his shirt and Carlos sucked in a breath. This was looking worse than the wounds on his face.

Carefully, he kneeled down. He slowly got the warm wash clothes on the bleeding wound and Lando hissed.

"I know, I'm sorry but this is looking bad, I have to-" Carlos started, but as he wanted to get up, Lando hold him back.

When Carlos looked back at him, he saw tears shimmering in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Carlos I-" he sobbed. 

"Hey, hey it's okay." Carlos tried to reassure him.

He got down on his knees, embracing Lando into a hug. His hands were slowly stroking his back, while Lando's head found comfort in Carlos neck. Carlos could feel the tears running down in his neck, wetting his shirt, but he couldn't care less.

He tried to calm Lando down as much as he could, whispering little nothings into his ears, while stroking his hair slowly.

After a while, the sobs stopped. Lando detached himself a little from Carlos, but still looked at him.

"My whole world is falling apart right now and you're the only one that has been there for me. But the truth is, I don't deserve you or anything else for that matter."

Carlos thought Lando was sorry fir ruining the party, but apparently this is going in another direction.

"You need to stop believing this, because it's not true. You deserve so much more than you are aware of."

"I don't and I really don't know why you of all people would say the opposite."

"Because everything that happened to you lately, is not your fault. It's not your fault your parents are fighting and getting a divorce. It's not your fault that Daniel posted that video of you, to weaken you and It's not your fault, that he is a homophobic dick."

"But it is my fault that you hate me now and you know why that is the worst? Because maybe you're the only thing that ever mattered to me."

Carlos swallowed.

What is happening?

"Would I be here, if I hated you?"

Lando shrugs and laughs bitterly.

"Yes, because you're a much better person than I am."

Carlos started to get back at Lando's wounds, trying to ignore the heavy tension between them. He didn't want to discuss this now. He wanted to get Lando sobered up and leave again, but he couldn't. He couldn't because his heart was beating faster with every second and his thoughts were running a mile a second.

When he was done, he got up and breathed out. 

He couldn't hold back anymore, he needed to know. So he looked at Lando and started to ask the question that had been hanging around in his mind for the last weeks, maybe even for the last years.

"Why are you saying all of this? Why are you- You are here, telling me things that describe the opposite from what you're making me feel. For the past years you have been pushing me away, picking on me and my friends, showing me that you absolutely despise me and all I am. Now you're here telling me that I am the only thing you ever cared about? I don't know who set you up for a bet, but please stop this. I can't do this anymore."

Lando stood up, clearly in pain.

Carlos had the urge to hold him steady immediately, but he hold himself back.

"There is no bet going on, Carlos. I- I lied to you, okay? I lied to you, all this time because I couldn't tell you the truth. It would've destroyed everything."

"There is nothing left to destroy, Lando. You already shattered my heart into pieces and everyday you showed me, that this was the right decision for you. Until these past weeks, where suddenly everything felt like back then. Minus your mood swings. You never cared how much you hurt me. If you have a reason for all of this, I'm listening because I cannot imagine something worse than this."

"Because I am in love with you, okay?" Lando screamed at him, tears running down his face."

What?

"What? Are you kidding me?" Carlos whispered, his heart beating faster and tears forming in his eyes now too.

"I needed to get away from you, okay? I couldn't bear being close to you everyday without ever having a chance at something more. It destroyed me, Carlos. You destroyed me, because you let me believe that there could be something more, even though I knew deep down that it was never going to happen. That's why I stopped being around you, that's why I needed other friends, I couldn't do this anymore."

"And instead of telling me, you just shut me out and started acting like you hated me? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Tell you, so you could say "Sorry, Lando. This is really cute, but I don't want you in that way"? Tell you, so you could be there for me after, because you're too damn caring? I needed to get away from you, so I could get over you. I couldn't be around you anymore. I couldn't let anyone see that I had the biggest crush on you."

Carlos shakes his head.

"No, this was- No, I cannot believe this. You did all of this, just to hide your feelings, when in fact you didn't even know mine? You made my life hell, just so no one would know about this? I thought you hated me, despised me and all I am. Now you're telling me this couldn't be further from the truth?"

"Your feelings?" is the only thing Lando said, lowering his voice.

Carlos almost tore his hair out.

"Yes, my feelings Lando. Because if you had asked, I would have told you that I feel the same way about you. Do you think I was hurting so much, because I lost a friend? I was in love with you Lando, but you dumped me as If I never meant anything to you."

Carlos chest was heaving, Lando stared at him like he couldn't quite believe what he just heard. The silence between them grew heavier, until Lando apparently decided to fuck it.

Carlos got pulled in and drawn into a kiss, that felt like fireworks exploding in his insides. Lando's lips crashed on his, Carlos arms found their way onto Lando's hips, while his fingers slid down to Carlos neck and in his hair right after.

Their lips moved together, it was soft yet passionate. It carried all the words they never dared to speak until now. Carlos could feel Lando's heartbeat hammering against his. He could feel his warmth, the desperate pull of him that mirrored his own.

Carlos tilted his head, deepening the kiss, feeling Lando's breath in his mouth. It was hot and uneven. The world around them ceased to exist, it was just the two of them. Lando's tongue slowly pressed at the corner of his mouth and when Carlos opened his mouth to let him in, a shiver went down his spine.

Carlos let out another breath, while Lando's grip on him tightened. Their tongues were dancing around each other, just feeling the other. When they finally broke apart, their foreheads rested together. Carlos closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his normal breathing.

Lando's hands moved with deliberate care, sliding away from his neck onto his cheeks. 

"I-" Lando started, but Carlos shook his head.

"Don't speak, please. We did enough of this today."

Lando nods.

"Let's just go to my room. You need to rest."

When Lando was about to make a joke, Carlos silenced him with a glance, which earned him a pout in return.

Slowly, Carlos helped Lando to get back up, leading him into his room. As soon as they got there, Carlos locked his door and closed the shutters. No one had to see them, he didn't want this to break as soon as he got it. The outside world could wait, for now it was only him and Lando.

Lando already sat on a chair but when Carlos saw him, he shook his head.

"You won't be sitting there, please get into the bed. You need to rest."

"Carlos, I am fine really."

"No, you're not and I won't discuss this with you."

Lando got up slowly, walking towards Carlos.

"Only on one condition." he said, standing way too close again.

"That would be?" Carlos asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You'll join me there."

Carlos swallowed, visibly.

"Unless, you don't want to." Lando added, suddenly sounding insecure.

Carlos shook his head.

"No, that's not why I hesitated. I- Let's get into bed first."

He got away from Lando a little, just to grab some joggers and hoodie for Lando.

"Let's get you out of these and into something comfy." he said, undressing Lando after.

He earned another glance from Lando, but just rolled his eyes. He slipped the jumper over Lando's head and then helped him into the joggers. 

Lando immediately got under the covers after. Carlos had to get changed too so he stood up, fishing another hoodie and some joggers from his armchair.

He turned his back to Lando, not wanting to overstep something while he changed. When he was ready and turned around again, he realized there wouldn't have been any need for that. Lando had absolutely been staring at him the whole time.

He bit his lip, looking at Carlos.

"You're unbelievable really." Carlos said, rolling his eyes but he couldn't hide the little smile that crept up on his lips.

Lando just shrugged and Carlos got into his bed next to him. When he did, Lando immediately snuggled up to him.

"Careful, your wounds."

"I don't care." Lando just mumbled back at him, but then looked at him.

"You won't be needing these." Lando said, before removing Carlos glasses and placing them on the bedside table.

"What do you have against my glasses?"

"You look very cozy and smart with them, but you look absolutely unfairly attractive without them."

Carlos rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, how did you hide all of this all these years?"

"Don't know. It got easier after a while when I told myself I hated you."

Carlos stayed silent.

"I'm really sorry. I know I hurt you with all of this. At first I just wanted to save myself, but then we got to a point of no return and I just started living that lie. I wish I could turn back time and just talk to you. I was an idiot and I still don't know what I did to deserve, having you lying here right next to me now."

"You did hurt me. I mean it got better over time, but I just didn't get it. I thought we would go through thick and thin with each other, but then you changed. So suddenly, so rapidly. I had almost no time to adjust to that change and then came my birthday. I went through so many stages of anger and hurt, but in the end I was just disappointed. Then you came and told me you were better off without me. I thought I did something wrong. I realized much later, that this wasn't my fault. I was too hurt to search you out again, even though there was nothing I craved more. We have our story, but I think in the end I always wished for it to end like this. Even in our worst moments, I just wished that we would find each other again."

"I always wanted to take back everything I said. I was drunk that night, full of heartbreak and angry with myself. But if you let me, I want to make it up to you. These last weeks I felt so safe with you. At first I thought I couldn't do this again, I couldn't let myself fall back into you. But I did, I couldn't fight it anymore and I was tired of it. Tired of fighting how I feel, tired of pretending that you don't matter to me."

"Maybe we can find each other again and find out what we want to be for each other."

"I would really like that. Maybe you can forgive me one day, too."

"I think I already did, but you still have a lot of work to do. However I think we can be there for each other and building back up, what we lost once upon a time."

"Thank you, Carlos. Thank you for never giving up on me or us." Lando said, before Carlos felt Lando's lips on his again.

The kiss almost turned into something more again, but Carlos stopped him. Their foreheads were touching, when Carlos spoke softly.

"Let us take this slowly. I want it to work this time."

"Okay." Lando said, smiling.

"Whatever you want." he added, giving Carlos another quick peck on the lips, before snuggling up against him again, closing his eyes.

Carlos smiled and placed a kiss on Lando's forehead, before his eyes slowly closed too.

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They had decided to take things slowly, but after a long discussion on Sunday, they had also decided that they didn't want to hide.

That's why they now, on a Monday morning, sat in Lando's limousine and hesitated to get out. Their hands were intertwined, but neither of them were ready to take that step just yet.

"We could just go inside separately." Carlos suggested.

"No, we talked about this."

"Yes, but if we are not ready then we don't have to."

Lando turned to Carlos.

"I can only speak for myself, but I want this." Lando said, squeezing his hand.

"Me too." Carlos said, smiling.

Lando leaned over and kissed him. It was warm and something from that kiss told Carlos that they were ready.

When they separated, Carlos brushed Lando's cheek one last time, before speaking.

"Okay, let's do this." he said, breathing out.

"Okay." Lando said, letting out a breath he has been holding too.

So they got out, walking into the school grounds hand in hand, a light smile on both of their lips, even though they were both terrified. Through their sunglasses, they could at least hide a little. Carlos could feel the way Lando was slightly shaking, but he pressed his hand, trying to calm him down.

It was a long walk. They hadn't really decided who they would go to first, but when Max and Charles started whistling when they saw them, their direction was clear. Even though Carlos had seen the open mouths of George and Alex on the side.

When they finally arrived at Lando's friends, ignoring all the shocked faced from people they didn't even know, Carlos felt a little lighter.

"If that is not the couple, I've been waiting for." Charles started, giving first Lando a hug and then even Carlos.

Max just fist bumped Lando, but also rolled his eyes fondly.

"Does this mean we finally don't have to listen to how adorable Carlos is, but how you could never have him?"

While pure horror spread out on Lando's face, a grin crept up on Carlos face.

"That's a new information." he said, while Lando's cheeks turned into a pretty pink. That didn't held him back from giving Max his shit back though.

"No, from now on you'll hear about how amazing my boyfriend is and how lucky I am to have him."

Carlos wanted to say something to that, but couldn't because Ana and Blanca ran into him, hugging him from the side.

"I'm so proud of you! We weren't sure if you two would show up like this but you did!" Ana said and Carlos just laughed.

Alex and George were slowly coming over too, not sure what was going on.

"Did we miss something?" Alex asked, sounding braver than Carlos would've expected it.

"Yes, these two finally figured it out." Charles said, grinning.

"Oh my god. I knew it, George. I told you! I was right." Alex said, triumphantly.

"I mean, what were the chances?" George grumbles and Carlos just laughs.

"Sorry, I will fill you in later. But I think we have to go to class or else we will be late."

While George and Alex nodded, the rest around them groaned.

"Just so you know, Norris. Just because you have him as a boyfriend now, dosen't mean I'll be attending all our classes." Max said.

"Don't worry, I'll give you my notes later or join you."

"Your notes?" Carlos raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm, yes my notes that I got from my beautiful boyfriend that pays attention in class, so that I can stare at him all the time." Lando said sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

Carlos started laughing and gave him a quick peck, what made Lando grin.

"You two are disgusting." George said, the others agreeing.

Lando just shrugs.

"You have do deal with that now."

Lando smiles at Carlos. 

A smile that always only has been reserved for him and while they were getting into class, Carlos thought that there couldn't have been a better ending to their past and a better beginning for everything that's coming for them in the future.