Work Text:
Tsukkishima “hated” many things. Small annoying red-heads, failure, disappointment. But he thought his feelings towards these things could be classified as more of a resentment, or an irritation. He sighed and placed the rest of the jumble of clothes he was holding onto a random rack. He had spent the past hour looking for where they went and he was sure someone had moved them to Narnia. Or maybe the stockroom. He didn’t care enough to actually find out. Tsukkishima sighed and stretched, shifting his weight from foot to foot. His feet ached after standing on them for eight hours straight, rushing from department to department to pick up the slack his incompetent coworkers left behind.
One of the only things he really hated was this job. It was a part-time retail hell he had to indulge in whenever he wasn’t feeling up to asking his real boss, Daichi Sawamura for extra shifts at the hotel. Which he was rarely ever feeling up to. It was a pain. Mainly because Daichi cared and reminded Tsukkishima of a soft angry teddy bear just looking for someone to love. He preferred the cold, uncaring attitude of his managers here, in the 8th level of Hell, to the frantic fawning he was subject to every time he told Daichi he needed extra money. He’d been offered no less than three raises and one promotion, and he was almost disgusted at himself for being a big enough person to refuse.
Tsukkishima rubbed at the lines left on his hand from where he’d been holding the clothes. It was amazing how much damage a hanger could do when there was a whole gang of them applied to skin for long periods of time, several days a week. He examined the bruises forming in the cradle of his hand between his thumb and pointer finger. He reminded himself to keep the work hours to a maximum of 30 in the future. The extra hours he’d requested here were starting to take a toll on his body. He checked his watch, only fifteen minutes to go before he was home free and about $50 richer.
Not that he wanted the hours in the first place he just… He needed to avoid the hotel until he was sure it was safe. Until this whole thing with Yamaguchi blew over.
That’s what he usually did when this sort of thing happened. Not that it happened often. I mean, it isn’t everyday you find yourself staring longingly at your puppy-like companion, reminiscing on how it looked like someone had inverted the colors of the night sky and plastered them on his body. Dark stars on pale skin. And only once in a blue moon do you find yourself (later that same night) at a raucous frat party, embarrassingly plastered, watching the same dark-starred beauty dancing and laughing among people his own age, moving erratically and in no particular rhythm but still somehow mesmerizing in a way Tsukkishima had never found Yamaguchi.
Then he had left the hot atmosphere around him (hot for several reasons) in favor of the sobering cool night air, where he was free to get his thoughts back in order and steady himself. Since when did Yamaguchi look so good? Had his smile always lit up a room like that. It had to be some kind of fluke, or a trick of the light. For some reason just thinking of Yamaguchi accelerated his heart rate and sent his stomach into a tailspin. He groaned and sunk against the wall behind him so he could rest his head on his knees. Some stumbling teen in a tank top stopped to ask him if he was okay but left quickly after a glare was sent his direction. Tsukkishima returned to his vexing thoughts. Tsukkishima had never felt this way before. He’d heard about it of course. There was no way you didn’t when you worked in the disgusting nest of love birds he did. But he’d never thought himself capable of this. It was unbelievable. Inconceivable. Ludicrous.
His inebriated mind was working on finding another synonym to liven up his repeating mantra when the sounds of the party filled the air around him and then left, with the slam of a door. Tsukkishima sat up rigidly.
“Ah, sorry Tsukki,” how did he feel so amped up and calmed at the same time. Why. How could this happen.
“Yamaguchi.”
“Brad said you were out here so I just wanted to see if you were alright,” Yamaguchi slipped down the stairs and caught himself on the rail, “Maybe someone needs to see if I’m alright.”
Tsukkishima was surprised at how fast his body had reacted, moving to the staircase and reaching out a steadying hand to Yamaguchi’s shoulder. His face was so close to Yamaguchi’s. Close enough to see every freckle, even the ones that faded after summer had ended. He had a faint pink blush across his face from the alcohol, his lips were pink and flushed. And his eyes. They were dark chocolate and focused, even in his less than stellar mind state. They rendered Tsukkishima breathless. He jumped back the the wall, as if shocked.
Yamauguchi had followed after him, staying close, “Hey Tsukki, what’s wrong?”
Yamaguchi’s hands were on his shoulders. It was the only thing he could think about, “I’m fine, Yamaguchi.”
“Are you sure? You look a little pale,” Yamaguchi’s hand was on his forehead, “Hm, you don’t feel hot.”
For some reason the hand on his shoulder was falling to his abdomen, “Well I mean, you feel hot. And you look hot,” his eyebrows scrunched together like he was thinking. It was cute. It was definitely an expression Yamaguchi made daily but now it was endearing, dangerously adorable, “But I don’t think you’re sick. Which is probably a good thing.”
Yamaguchi’s hand was still on his chest, rested there lightly. Yamaguchi continued to ramble on about why it was a good thing to not be sick, but Tsukkishima could only keep thinking about the ‘feeling’ and ‘looking’ hot part.
“Yamaguchi, what do you mean by ‘I feel hot’?”
Scrunchy face again, “Well like, you know,” Tsukkishima did not, “You’ve got like. These abs and like, your shoulders. And your face. I don’t know. When I touch you, you feel hot. As in like, ‘damn that boy is fine’ hot.”
Yamaguchi’s hand on his forehead moved to caress his cheek, then his thumb rested on the edge of Tsukki’s lip, “And I mean, it’s nice to be able to feel your hotness because sometimes I think the whole ‘looking’ part isn’t enough. Like I feel like I’m going to explode most times around you.”
Tsukkishima has just recently learned what it felt like to want something that bad. So he could understand when his own hand moved up to the back of Yamaguchi’s neck to pull them together and finally bring their lips together. The little gasp Yamaguchi made, right in the moment their lips touched, caused Tsukkishima to see fireworks. Cliche, but surprisingly accurate. They didn’t pull away for a second, too full of each other, They moved in what seemed to be perfect sync, both of them leading at different points while they learned every inch of each other’s lips.
He felt someone tap his shoulder and felt the familiar feeling of loathing settle in his gut. He was broken from his reverie by a distinctly Dolores Umbridge-esque ‘ahem’ invading his personal space.
“Excuse me? Young man, do you work here.”
Tsukkishima sighed and turned, letting his nametag and khaki slacks speak for themselves. He was greeted to the sight of a frizzy-haired woman with coke bottle glasses with a distinct scent of musk. She cleared her throat again, “Could you tell me where the tank top that matches this skirt is?”
He eyed the neon-striped maxi skirt and remembered a similarly patterned headache-inducing top on the wall by the registers. There was a reason they were located on opposite sides of the department, while mildly bearable on their own, together they created a trainwreck. One couldn’t look away from the impending disaster but would be scarred for life after viewing it.
“That depends,” he tilted his head to the side and looked down on her, in the same way he looked down on everyone (being tall was a godsend to him, what better way to judge the rest of the human race then from above them?), “Are you planning on wearing them together?”
The same intolerable ‘ahem’ left her lips, maybe she thought it was cute, “Well, yes I was.”
“Then no,” Tsukkishima walked away, leaving the sputtering woman behind him.
Unfortunately, she got enough of her wits back to follow him. He let her yell after him for about five minutes before turning with a venomous smile. He was very proud of this particular smile, it had been known to send the most confident of people whimpering into corners. It was lost on this woman. Tsukkishima’s irritation increased ten-fold. He once again waited for her to speak first.
“First of all, young man,” her hair was in about as much as a tizzy as she was, sticking haphazardly around her face, “I asked you a direct question that you are required to answer as a worker in this place and second of all ,” It was truly amazing how beet red a person’s face could get. She almost rivaled Daichi, “I never asked for your opinion and that’s not what they pay you for, so if you could kindly keep them to yourself.”
The ahem came at the end this time. She thought she had him beat.
Tsukkishima settled in for an easy smackdown, “Ma’am,” she seemed pleased by this. Like shooting fish in a barrel, “First of all, as a part-time employee of this establishment I’m not required to do much of anything other than clean up the mess animals like you leave behind. Second of all, you’re right, I’m not paid for my opinion. I gave you that out of the goodness of my heart,” Tsukki checked his watch then calmly removed his name tag, “Lastly, my shift is over so if you would like to avoid my opinions, I suggest you leave.”
She did, mumbling something he couldn’t quite catch under her breath. He turned in the other direction to turn in his radio, which he had been ignoring for most of the day but still felt obligated to carry around. He tried to return to the night of the party, but there really wasn’t much more to the story. His rendezvous with Yamaguchi had been cut short when the shorter man had thrown up all over the front lawn and then passed out in his bed the moment they made it back to their shabby apartment. The next morning Yamaguchi didn’t remember the events of the night before and Tsukki was filled with feelings of panic and fear. Not regret, it had surprisingly been one of the best moments of his life, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face what had happened.
Tsukkishima heard his name come in static on the radio. This place had the power to sense right when he was about to escape and pull him back into its trap. Someone needed help getting down one of the higher displays (the curse of being tall, you are the designated ladder). He started his way over to where he was needed. At least this way he had a couple more moments to himself to find an excuse for why he wouldn't be attending “Girl’s Night Out”, a traditional monthly outing attended by the youngest members of the hotel staff, Kageyama, Hinata,Yamaguchi and himself. The only reason he went in the first place was to save Yamaguchi from the torture that was third-wheeling for the other two. Now that he needed to avoid all three of them, the entire ordeal had become irrelevant. To cancel he would still have to see Yamaguchi, though. Or at least text him. He didn’t know if he was ready for that.
Tsukkishima reached his destination and grabbed one of the hooks they used to reach the displays without even looking at the customer. Of course, being without him almost made Tsukkishima’s life seem completely worthless. And really at this point, he wasn’t helping anyone. He thought about Yamaguchi 24/7 and his freckled friend was only being hurt. He had to stop running away at some point and face his feelings. One of these days he would have to get over his childish fear of failure and commit. He had to tell Yamaguchi what had happened. It was the only fair thing to do, no matter how Tsukkishima looked at it. As much as he hated to admit it, the kiss had involved the two of them and it should be worked out between them, like responsible adults. He could almost hear Yamaguchi now, his voice high and lilting, grating in the mornings but somehow refreshing at the same time. Tsukkishima could hear him saying his name.
“-Tsukkiii, earth to Tsukki.”
Oh. Guess it wasn’t in his head after all. He turned from where he had been struggling to snag the item on the hook. And was faced with his greatest fear of all, the way his body could react to another human being. How a single person could send adrenaline and electricity running through his veins.
“Yamaguchi.”
“Hi Tsukki,” he waved cutely at Tsukkishima, “What are you doing here?”
Tsukkishima’s first instinct was to stare pointedly at his name tag but then he remembered this was sweet, gentle Yamaguchi. Not some imbecile trying to find the dresses located directly behind them, “I work here.”
“Does Daichi-san know?”
“Honestly I was hoping no one would know ever but here you are, knowing.”
Yamaguchi placed a hand on the back of his neck and looked up sheepishly at Tsukkishima through his eyelashes, sheepishly, “Sorry, Tsukki.”
“It’s fine because it’s just you I guess, but don’t tell the others,” Tsukkishima avoided eye contact, unsure of how he would react if he looked Yamaguchi in the eye, he turned to head towards the door, “Anyway, I’m off so I’m just gonna leave now.”
“Wait, Tsukki! If you’re off can we talk for a second?”
He tried to run away, he really did, and usually it was easy to with his long legs but unfortunately Yamaguchi was quick on his feet and a little spindly himself so he was forced to slow down and face the other.
Tsukkishima took a deep breath and tried a look of contempt, “What did you want to talk about?”
Yamaguchi blushed and stared down at his shoes, “Well, um. Could we go somewhere more private?”
Tsukkishima panicked, “Could we not?”
Tsukkishima did not expect his own reaction to seeing the hurt on Yamaguchi’s face. He panicked more, “I mean, just because I’m hungry. Yeah, hungry. Can we get pretzels, or something?”
Yamaguchi perked up and skipped beside Tsukkishima on their way to the pretzel kiosk. Tsukkishima ordered a plain pretzel, extra salt while Yamaguchi got some pure sugar bits, Tsukkishima pulled out his wallet before Yamaguchi had the chance to take his out of his pocket.
“Tsukki?”
Tsukkishima waved him off and ignored the heat rising up his face, “So what did you want to talk about?”
Yamaguchi stopped by some old abandoned vending machines and scuffed his shoe on a eons old piece of gum. Tsukkishima waited a few moments before sighing heavily, hoping to convince Yamaguchi not to say what he was so nervous to. It had the opposite effect.
“Well it’s about the night of that party,” he crossed his arms across his chest, a defensive motion, “You know, when I threw up all over everything?”
Tsukkishima wrinkled his nose, “How could I forget.”
“Ha forget, ha,” Yamaguuchi cleared his throat. Tsukkishima was afraid he understood the joke, “Actually I wanted to talk to you about forgetting because, well. I didn’t.”
The silence after that statement was deafening but Tsukkishima couldn’t think of a thing to say. His brain was at a standstill. He wasn’t ready to face this. It was all too much. How could Yamaguchi do this to him. Now he really started to panic. He made a split second decision and turned around, swiftly. Before he could take a step away, Yamaguchi grabbed him by the arm and turned him with more force Tsukkishima thought possible.
“Wait Tsukki,” his voice was stronger now, confident, “I thought I could let you get away with kissing me and then forgetting about it. But that’s not fair. Not to you. Not to me. You have to face this.”
Tsukkishima took a deep breath, “I know. I know but I just don’t see what the point is. We have a a good friendship, so why ruin it, you know?” he couldn’t read Yamaguchi’s expression, “I mean, yeah we kissed. Yeah it was great but I’m probably terrible at relationships, you know being the soulless being I am so you probably deserve better, right?”
Why was he saying this. He didn’t think this. And Yamaguchi looked angry. He looked feral, “Tsukkishima Kei,” he growled, “You are currently ruining it by being the dickbag imbecile you truly are on the inside. And don’t tell me what I do and don’t deserve, I can decide that for myself, thank you very much.”
With that, Yamaguchi suddenly surged up towards Tsukkishima and held his face in both hands. Then he softly laid a kiss on his lips. A kiss so light, so perfect that Tsukkishima could taste the cinnamon still on Yamaguchi’s lips. He could feel the softness of them in a way he didn’t on the night of the party, when his senses had been impaired by alcohol. And it was over too soon, Yamaguchi was pulling away and looking scared, like Tsukkishima might pounce on him in a very negative way.
But the new kiss had made up his mind. Tsukkishima was ready. He’d never been more ready for anything in his life. To show this, he walked towards Yamaguchi and took his hand, pulling him along behind him.
“Just don’t tell the hotel guys, okay? I don’t need that kind of acceptance in my life.”