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it's about time

Summary:

When Tommy wakes with the sun, he gets up to start making breakfast. After last night, he’d barely slept anyway: too giddy, too lucky, too terrified.

He tries to be quiet. It’s the least he can do. He and Evan had crossed a line last night, having such loud sex while Eddie was in the next room. The house is Evan’s house now, his name is on the lease and everything, but there’s still no excuse for making your friend listen to you fuck after he’d flown eight hundred miles and given up family time to go out drinking with you.

Well, there’s no excuse for Tommy to have done it. Evan had completely forgotten there was someone else in the house. He’s innocent. Tommy smiles to himself as he cracks eggs into a bowl. Even knowing it was wrong, he can’t help still being a little smug about it. He can’t help feeling like he won.

Or:
The morning after Buck and Tommy have loud sex when Eddie is in the other room, they apologize over breakfast.

Notes:

I've gotten a few comments/prompts asking for this fic, but every time I tried it wasn't coming together. I didn't know what eddie would say, I didn't know how tommy would apologize. then I had an idea for a 5+1 that would sort of wrap around "what I covet, I keep", with this being the +1. that fic got out of hand and needed its own +1 to have an emotionally satisfying conclusion, so! here this fic is, once again on its own. I had this chapter mostly written before chapters 5 and 6 of "this regrettable game", but I definitely needed to write those early chapters to figure out this one

I couldn't break with tradition for this series, so the title is from Falsettos:
It's about growing up, getting older,
Living on a lover's shoulder,
Learning love is not a crime.
It's about time.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

When Tommy wakes with the sun, he gets up to start making breakfast. After last night, he’d barely slept anyway: too giddy, too lucky, too terrified. 

He tries to be quiet. It’s the least he can do. He and Evan had crossed a line last night, having such loud sex while Eddie was in the next room. The house is Evan’s house now, his name is on the lease and everything, but there’s still no excuse for making your friend listen to you fuck after he’d flown eight hundred miles and given up family time to go out drinking with you. 

Well, there’s no excuse for Tommy to have done it. Evan had completely forgotten there was someone else in the house. He’s innocent. Tommy smiles to himself as he cracks eggs into a bowl. Even knowing it was wrong, he can’t help still being a little smug about it. He can’t help feeling like he won. 

When they got back together, Evan had said there was no competition. He said Eddie would never be on his radar, and Tommy believed him. Tommy still believes him. He’d believed him yesterday when they went out with Eddie, and he really believes him after last night. When Evan remembered that Eddie was still in the house, he was thrilled that Tommy wanted him enough to stake such a claim, irrational and petty and unkind as it was. Top ten, Evan had said. Let’s do it again with a stranger. 

If Evan felt anything for Eddie, it would’ve been the perfect excuse to throw Tommy out. But he doesn’t, and he didn’t. Against all odds and all reason, Tommy is still here. Evan still wants him here. 

He’s frying the last of the bacon when he hears Evan lumber into the bathroom. For as much energy as Evan usually has to spare, it takes him a while to tap into that reserve in the morning. That’s half the reason they fought after their hookup, Tommy thinks. Evan wasn’t awake enough to handle a bomb like I think you’re in love with your best friend being dropped on him with any amount of grace. Tommy can’t blame him for that. 

Tommy pours a second mug of coffee, black. He spoons in just enough sugar to cut the acidic bite, stirs it, and turns around in time to see Evan coming toward him. He tries not to smirk at the slight limp in Evan's gait.

He hands Evan the coffee wordlessly. Evan fits himself against Tommy’s side. He takes a sip of his coffee, sighs, and nuzzles into Tommy’s neck. 

“Do you know what you’re gonna say?” Evan asks. 

“No,” Tommy admits, wrapping his arms around Evan. They’d agreed that since Tommy was the one who’d done it knowingly, he should be the one to apologize. “I’m hoping a breakfast buffet will do the talking for me.” 

He nods towards the spread: two cartons of eggs with peppers and onions, bacon, breakfast sausage, pancakes, almost a full loaf’s worth of toast, fruit salad, and, on a whim, oatmeal. It’s more food than ten men would need for breakfast, nevermind three. That’s if Eddie can even stand to be in the same room with them long enough to eat. 

“Kind of your signature move, huh?” Evan teases. 

Tommy hums in agreement. “One of these days, I’m hoping it’ll work.” 

Evan laughs softly against Tommy’s neck. “Do you need any help?” 

“No, I’m almost done. Set the table?” 

“Sure.” Evan presses a kiss to Tommy’s throat and untangles himself from Tommy’s arms. 

Evan’s kitchen is a far cry from how it looked the first time Tommy cooked breakfast here. Everything is meticulously organized. Tommy is continually impressed by how much cookware Evan has managed to fit into so few cabinets. There are a few appliances on the countertops—toaster, stand mixer, bread maker—but everything else has its place tucked neatly away. 

Tommy watches Evan take three plates and three bowls down from the cabinet, then three cloth napkins and three sets of silverware from the drawer. He watches Evan meticulously arrange two of the place settings on one side of the kitchen table and one on the other, hair catching gold and red in the morning light streaming in through the windows. He watches Evan pour and place three glasses of orange juice on the table, first to the left of each plate and then switching them all to the right, confused tilt to his head giving way to a satisfied nod, before moving on to grab a third mug. When Evan approaches to pour coffee into it, he finally notices Tommy watching him. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Tommy shrugs, charmed once again by Evan’s eccentricities. “Have I ever told you you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen?” 

Evan smiles and ducks his head, setting the empty mug down on the counter. “Shut up.” 

“It’s true.” Tommy’s hands settle on Evan’s hips, thumbs slipping under his shirt. “It’s not even close. No competition.” 

Evan lifts his head enough to give Tommy a gentle kiss. They both smile through it. Tommy reels him in for another, and another—keeping the kisses soft, serene, and reveling in the way Evan melts against him. He loves every version of Evan, but sleepy and slow is one of his favorites. 

“You’re gonna burn the bacon,” Evan says against his lips. 

“Never.” Tommy gives him one more kiss before letting him go and turning back to the stove. 

Evan pours Eddie’s coffee and takes it to the table. He places it on the side he set for one. Tommy does his best to keep his smug smile small. 

Tommy is just transferring the last of the food to serving bowls and plates when they hear footsteps padding down the hallway. Eddie walks into the kitchen and spots the three place settings. 

“Oh good,” he says. “You do know I’m still here.” 

“Eddie-” Evan starts, apologetic. 

“Unbelievable,” Eddie says. “You guys have always been bad, but this…” 

He whistles a high, disapproving note. 

“We’re sorry, Eddie,” Tommy says. “We just got carried away.” 

Eddie huffs in response. Still, he sits down at his designated spot. He sips his coffee and tips it to Evan in thanks. He won’t make eye contact. Tommy has never seen a man so visibly want to disappear into a mug. 

Evan sits across from Eddie uneasily. Tommy takes the platter of bacon over to the table and sits down too. In complete and uncomfortable silence, they each take food onto their plates. It’s awkward, but at least Eddie is here at the table. At least he didn’t sneak out of the house before they could apologize. Tommy has been very, very lucky to get out of this with Evan still on his side. If they’d actually driven Eddie away, that might have changed, no matter how much Evan liked being flipped onto his back and fucked rough and wild and loud. 

“I can explain, if you’ll let me,” Tommy finally says. He can’t, not in any way that would make Eddie want to see either of them ever again, but it feels like the thing to say. 

Eddie sees right through him. “Go ahead. Explain to me why you spent so much time last night telling me that you’d be able to hear it from the bedroom every time I shifted on the couch, but you didn’t stop to think the sound would go both ways?” 

Tommy’s mouth drops open. He hopes that sound will come out and form itself into some sort of a satisfying response. It doesn’t. 

“No, you know what?” Eddie huffs. “It’s my fault. This is why I never went home with you guys after we went out drinking. I knew this would happen. Or something like this, anyway. Should’ve stayed at Pepa’s.” 

He uses a piece of toast to scoop up eggs and shoves it into his mouth. His eyes soften a little, flicking over to Tommy before they fall back to his plate. 

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine,” Tommy insists. 

Eddie laughs through a “Yeah” with his mouth full. “Buck, I get. You walk into a room and all of his common sense flies out the window. But you? What was going through your head, man?” 

I want him. I want to keep him. I want to claim him loudly and clearly. I want him to be happy, and I want everyone to know it’s me who keeps him happy. Especially you. I don’t understand how you could love Evan and not want him the way I do. 

That’s what had been going through Tommy’s head. It wasn’t logical, it wasn’t kind. It was visceral. It was something that had been bubbling close to the surface for the entirety of their first six months together. Tommy trusts Evan now, has been shown over and over again that he can trust Evan, but that didn’t stop these feelings from bubbling back up, hot and overwhelming. 

It’s been seven months without Eddie; seven months where Tommy stopped feeling threatened and started getting excited when Evan FaceTimed Eddie and Chris in Texas. Half the time, Tommy ended up talking to Eddie longer than Evan did: sports, usually, but occasionally cars or home repair. They’ve been rebuilding their friendship from afar as Tommy and Evan have been rebuilding their life together. They’ve all been making progress. 

It has been good and healthy and balanced. In the time that they’ve been back together, this was the first time that Tommy got really, truly jealous again. This was the first time that he got scared again. Other people have flirted with Evan in that time, other people have tried to get his attention, but none of them have registered as threats. They’ve been strangers. Tommy hasn't been worried that Evan would leave him for some random person who flirts with him on the street. Even if Evan’s eyes wander for a moment, they always come back to Tommy. 

Eddie, though—Eddie can command all of Evan’s attention without even trying, especially after such a long period of absence. Last night, Evan was lit up in a way he only gets with Tommy. He’d been hanging all over Eddie at the bar, laughing himself to tears at Eddie’s mildly entertaining stories. Seeing Eddie again—seeing Eddie and Evan together again—caused the jealousy and insecurity and possession to come rushing back with such overwhelming force that it felt so good, so easy to just give into it. 

Tommy feels bad for Eddie, but he feels really, really good for himself. Tommy won. Evan is his. Tommy staked his claim and Evan loved every moment of it. That possessive monster that lives in the pit of Tommy’s stomach has been purring for hours and shows no sign of stopping anytime soon. 

But that’s not what Eddie needs to hear. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Tommy says instead. He has four decades of practice keeping a straight face. “It won’t happen again, I swear.” 

“You’re not sorry.” Eddie has over three decades of practice seeing through straight faces. “But these eggs are so good I’m choosing to believe the second part of that anyway. I’ll forgive you guys, but don’t think I’m ever going to forget. This is going in my best man speech.” 

It’s the sort of comment that Tommy wouldn’t think anything of, but Evan coughs and drops his fork. He won’t meet Tommy’s eye as he turns red. He shoots Eddie a look of betrayal. Eddie chews his food and looks right back at him with a smirk. Revenge of some sort, teasing. Eddie knows something, and Tommy can guess what it is. 

Evan still won’t meet his gaze, hand clenching tight around the napkin in his lap. He’s waiting for Tommy to panic and run. Tommy is waiting for that too. He expects his vision to tunnel out and his feet to start itching towards the door, feeling trapped and terrified by this unexpected thing, but nothing comes. Nothing except a bubbling sense of joy and excitement. Relief. 

Tommy reaches over and covers Evan’s hand with his own. Evan relaxes enough at his touch for Tommy to slip his hand into Evan’s in place of the napkin. 

“I think I can live with those terms,” Tommy says. “You?” 

He gently strokes his thumb up the thick line of Evan’s ring finger. 

When Evan finally meets Tommy’s eye, it’s with a watery smile. 

“Yeah. Yeah I, uh. Yeah. I can live with that.” 

Tommy smiles, and when Evan smiles back, it’s like the sun shines a little brighter. 

“Good. Great. Happy for you. I’m getting out of here before there’s a round two.” Eddie gets up and puts his plate in the sink. “I’m gonna take a shower. And I’m warning you, since I live in the desert again, I have my showers down to five minutes. Don’t start anything until I’m well on my way to Tia Pepa’s.” 

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Evan says. “Really. You shouldn’t have had to hear that.” 

Eddie shakes his head and gives him a weathered smile. “You’re both freaks. I’m glad you found each other again.” 

He leaves the kitchen. The bathroom door shuts hard. 

“I think…” Tommy says slowly, skeptically, when he hears the shower turn on. “I think we got away with it.” 

“I think we did too. Your eggs did the trick.” 

“You don’t think it was the oatmeal?” Tommy moves his spoon around the beige sludge. Everything else he’d cooked was great, but this… 

Evan laughs. “If it was, it’s because he felt bad for you.” 

“Or for you, if he thinks this is what I feed you.” Tommy puts the spoon down in disgust. “So what’s this about a best man speech?” 

He tries to keep his voice even despite how much the idea thrills him. 

“Oh my god.” Evan hides his face in Tommy’s shoulder. “Pretend you didn’t hear that, okay?” 

“Okay,” Tommy agrees. “As long as you know it didn’t freak me out.” 

“Not even a little?” 

“Not even a little. I’m not running anymore, Evan. I’m yours for as long as you want me.” 

Evan untucks his face and rests his chin on Tommy’s shoulder. “And, uh, if- if I say that’s forever, will you trust me this time?” 

Those wide, beautiful blue eyes look up at Tommy, devastating and irresistible. Evan is so earnest. 

Not for the first time, Tommy feels like an idiot and an asshole for not believing Evan a year ago. He wasted so much time and caused so much unnecessary pain. He’d let his own insecurities and fear color the way he saw Evan—and, more importantly, he’d let it color the way he thought Evan saw him. Evan never saw him as just a stepping stone. He never looked at Tommy as a soft place to land while he learned how to stand on his feet as a queer man. No, Evan looks at him like this. He looks at Tommy like he wants to keep him, too. 

If Tommy had any doubts left about how Evan felt about him, last night would’ve put them all to rest. Evan is just as wildly in love, just as ankle-sprainingly possessive as Tommy is. A thrill runs through Tommy at the idea of Evan wearing a ring; someone seeing the glint of gold or the tattoo-black silicone and knowing he’s taken, knowing he belongs to Tommy. 

“If you say it’s forever,” Tommy murmurs, “then I trust that I’ll be the luckiest man in the world until the day I die.” 

Evan’s smile is blinding, dazzling, and a little painful when he slams it into Tommy’s lips. Tommy cradles his face and slips his thumb into the groove of Evan’s dimple. He tastes like syrup and coffee, warm and sweet. He tastes like forever. 

The shower shuts off and they break apart slowly. Eddie wasn’t kidding about his quick showers. 

“We’ll talk about this more later,” Tommy promises. 

“No, we won’t,” Evan says firmly. “You are going to forget we ever had this conversation, and you’re going to be surprised when I get everything together to ask for real. Probably in a few years, so you can be sure I’m not jumping into things without thinking them through first. There’s no plan right now, I just- when we got back together, Eddie asked if I was sure, and I told him you were it for me. Like, till-death-do-us-part, marriage-and-mortgage kind of it for me. But taking it slower has been working for us this time. As long as you’re not running, I’m not in any rush. So just- just forget about this conversation, okay?” 

Tommy is so in love he could cry. He doesn't know how he got this lucky, why a man this incredible wants forever with him. He knows his face must be sickeningly fond as he leans forward to give Evan one more kiss. 

“What conversation?” Tommy deadpans. 

Evan grins against his lips. 

Loud footsteps stomp down the hall to the living room. 

“Oh man,” Eddie calls out, his voice echoing off the walls. “This house is so big. Where could I possibly have left my socks?” 

Evan laughs. 

“You could’ve done this last night, you know,” he yells towards the living room. “If I’d heard you, we would’ve stopped.” 

“Ouch, geez, you don’t need to shout, Buck. The acoustics in this house really carry your voice.” 

“Oh my god,” Evan mutters, pressing his face back into Tommy’s shoulder. 

“You know, I was checking out your little shower remodel while I was in there, and it got me thinking maybe you were right, Buck. Maybe I should try a few fingers up my ass. That little display last night was a way more convincing argument than it doesn’t have to be gay, Eddie.” 

Eddie twists his voice higher in a mocking imitation of Evan. 

“I’m gonna kill him,” Evan laughs. He leaps up from the table and sprints to the living room. 

“Maybe I’ll ask the woman I’m-” 

Eddie cuts himself off with an oof and a laugh. It sounds like Evan tackled him onto the couch, the leather squeaking as they fall to the floor. 

Tommy shakes his head fondly as he listens to them wrestle and laugh and tease each other. He cleans up from breakfast and waits for the jealousy to come, for the insecurity to creep back in, but it doesn’t. After last night, after this morning, how could it? 

Eddie isn’t a threat. Eddie loves and accepts Evan in all his quirks and eccentricities just as much as Tommy does, but he’s not a threat. He teases Evan for moaning like the world is ending instead of blowing up at him. He and Evan wrestle like puppies, not lovers. They wrestle like brothers. Tommy doesn’t need to peek his head out of the kitchen to see that for himself. He knows it. He trusts it. 

Evan shrieks out a laugh that settles warm and solid in Tommy’s stomach. It’s been a long time since Tommy has heard that noise from him. It hits Tommy just how much Evan has missed his best friend. Eddie gives Evan this simple, uncomplicated joy. This is what it means to have a best friend, a brother. This is family. Evan having this doesn’t take anything away from Tommy. Neither does Eddie being the one to give it to him. 

It feels like such an obvious thing that Tommy wants to slap himself in the face for letting it twist him—twist them—as much and for as long as it did. He knows now that Eddie isn’t going to take Evan away from him. If Evan and Eddie wanted each other, they would’ve had each other years ago. They’re too close to have avoided any sort of awakening in that department if there were one to be had. 

Tommy had been the awakening for Evan. Evan wants Tommy, and even if the soft, scared, self-protective part of Tommy doesn’t want to let himself believe Evan when he says he’ll want Tommy forever, it’s getting easier and easier to ignore that voice in favor of the evidence rapidly stacking up. Evan wants Tommy forever, and someday there will be rings and a piece of paper and two names on a mortgage to prove that he really means it. 

For now, Tommy listens to Evan laugh with his best friend and he smiles to himself. He knows it’s only a matter of minutes until Eddie leaves for his cousin’s wedding and Evan comes back to Tommy. 

Tommy will always have that possessive monster lurking in his gut. There’s nothing he can do about that. The caveman is deeply ingrained; the selfish, jealous thing that wants to keep what is his and growl at anything that comes near it. But as long as he channels that in ways that make Evan happy, Tommy can live in harmony with it. He can have this.

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