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Div takes a step back and heaves a sigh. The snowy grove hill was definitely a good place to build his base at. The house design and colours, while simple, complemented nicely together. And just in time for the sunset. Div watches as the square sun descends behind the mountains. The orange rays spill over the view, basking everything in an orange glow. Div remembers when the sun was just like this. The Unserious Smp owner, in all her mystery, made her presence finally known to its members.
“And what is the reason for permanent ban?” She implored from above.
“Talking back to mods,” Div recounted, “X-raying…”
He turns to Quakitus. “Being a horrible teammate.”
Div didn’t recognise the look in his eyes. He requested for five minutes before he was to be removed. Five minutes he spent emptying his inventory and everything in his ender chest. Div remembers surrendering the filled shulkers of valuables to Saturn and Pika. What was Quakitus doing during this time? The time soon was up. The breath was knocked from his lungs and the ban screen flashed before him.
The recording was on then, and Div smirked knowing there was nothing he could do. His editor finally left for good. After what felt like a long time, it never felt so good to not be controlled anymore. The channel could die for all he cared. While scrolling though his message list, he was pleasantly surprised to find that he had also been banned in the server chat as well. The few other players he had friended on the server also had him removed. He’s grateful for them. Div stops at the name below Pika’s. Come to think of it, he never once had sent him a friend request. As if blinded or piloted by something else, he scrolls through the chat history. The streams of Quakitus’ ramblings and Div’s curt, short replies felt wrong and jarring. Has he always spoken like that?
He closes the tab for the night.
The lack of player activity in singleplayer was more peaceful than he had imagined. There was no recently chopped wood, no footprints that could belong to a player, no sound of human laughter or words. Only you, in this single world of your own creation. As soon as he left that server, Pika and Saturn had offered to make a new server, just for the three of them. Div declined the offer. He needed this.
Div explored the chilly lands, eyes squinting at the ground many times to avoid sinking into the ground below. He finds a cave nearby, infested badly with mobs. He must have died three, four times when trying to find his stuff? Whatever. After two hours, he finally managed to scrap enough iron to create a full set and a little left over to make an iron pick. Did Sobr take all the iron? He doesn’t want to go back down, but he can’t progress without the diamonds.
Div eventually settles with making a strip mine. As soon as he hits y-16, he starts mining away at the deepslate walls. Bit by bit, stacks of cobbled deepslate appeared in his inventory. Yet still, not a single diamond. Div groans in frustration. He pauses the game and opens the resource pack tab, just hovering over the ore scan mod. He scoffs at his hesitance. He isn’t on a server anymore! Who’s going to ban him for x-raying?! Div stays at the tab just a bit longer, before resuming the game with a sigh.
He looked through Sobr’s old messages and began following one of the routes. The diamonds soon started appearing. How strange, the methods truly do work. Div continued mining until he finally had a stack of diamonds. Placing down his crafting table, he made a full-set of diamond armour. Throwing out the breaking iron armour and slipping on the new one. By the time he made it to surface level, the night had just begun, and the hostile mobs had begun to spawn. The diamond armour, despite being unenchanted, was miles better than the iron. He took a few stray arrows and the occasional zombie punches, nervously watching as armour and health points chipped away.
Div did not die as he finally slammed the door to his base. He collapsed onto the spruce flooring, clutching his fist to his chest. The adrenaline slowly began to wear off, replaced by a tingling in his ears. He had to thank Sobr for the diamond routes. Div opens his messages, only for the message to not go through.
Oh right, Sobr blocked him.
He shuts the message tab. Deep inside, he heard some little part of him crack.
At one point, he found a wolf. He hadn’t seen the new update that brought the new wolf variants. The hound was alone, fur blending perfectly with the pristine snow. Only its red eyes of fury sticking out. Div watched in awe as it chased a rabbit. It stood no chance as it was cornered, jumping off the cliff to its death, a rabbit's foot and raw rabbit meat landing at his feet. He had collected a few bones from the skeletons that burned in the morning.
Should he try? He carefully approached the cliff. The wolf growls warily at Div, but quiets down when he holds out a bone. Slowly, it started walking down block by block. It sniffed suspiciously at the object, before starting to gnaw at it. After three bones had been eaten clean, the wolf sat comfortably against the snow, proving that Div had fully gained its trust.
Div sat down as well, letting the dog climb onto his lap. The dog’s tail wagged wildly, large, twinkling eyes staring back at him. He laughs at the gesture, proceeding to scratch under its chin. The dog lets out a low-pitched bark. They must have added new sounds. Come to think of it, this dog kinda looks like Shuppet. He hasn't heard from him since they tried to stop Quakitus. Div thinks back to his pale skin and hair, his orange eyes and purposely unkempt suit. Something about it being an alternate style. He always talked in that dry, monotone voice. Did Shuppet feel the same as everyone about him? He is snapped out of his thoughts when the dog whines, its paws climbing his chestplate to reach his face. He gently places the dog back on the snow, before standing up.
“C’mon Shuppet, we’re going home now.”
How sentimental he has become.
The nether was a hostile place, but it was even more hostile in singleplayer. The loud, wretched screeches of the nether portal greeted Div as he entered the hellish dimension. He crouches around, mood further ruined as he realized he spawned in the worst location possible. He treks through the uneven terrain, basalt pillars and tiny pools of molten lava hindering his path. Another magma cube blocks his way. Div kills all of it with practiced precision. When he finally leaves the biome, the challenges had only just begun.
No matter how many times he explored the Nether, Div was always rightfully afraid of it. Countless times he would hear a noise, a nearby ghast or hoglin, was enough for his anxiety to spike. Never mind even bridging across seas of boiling lava. One wrong move and everything he earned would be burned to crisp. Would the mobs pity him as he bridged to his possible demise? The mobs back on the Unserious Smp loved playing their absurd tricks on him. Spamming arrows and fireballs behind his back.
Maybe he deserved them.
Nothing tries to shoot Div off as he crosses the lava lake. He treks through a crimson forest. The fog and spores hindered his view as he looked out for a nether fortress. He somehow incurs the wrath of a hoglin, and runs as fast as his legs would allow him. Div almost cries in relief when he spots a group of figures. He had to remind himself this was still singleplayer. The piglins start charging towards him, but not to him.
A hunt. He rarely saw them himself, too busy trying to leave the biome to usually have the chance to spot these. The piglins run by him without paying attention, despite the lack of gold on his person. Two hoglins weave through the hanging vines as arrows fly over their heads. A brute rapidly charges forward and slams its axes against one of them. The hoglin let out a blood curled scream before its body dissipated in a wisp of smoke. The other hoglin took three more arrows, before finally succumbing and also disappearing. The last time Div saw a hoglin die, Gip had killed them in rescuing Nav. She was surrounded by all those wild hoglins, fearing for her life. She hated him then, she hated him even more after that. Her anger was justified.
Cheers from the piglins remind Div what this was all about, as the humanoid pigs began to gather their spoils. One of them, he hitched a breath as he spotted them, wore a similar golden helmet and wielded a similar crossbow. Instinctively, he calls out, but the words never leave his throat. What is he thinking? Gip only exists on the Unserious Smp. There was only one Gip. He will never exist in Div’s world.
He wonders if any of those piglins knew Gip.
But Div can pretend they do, as he smiles at the piglin with a crossbow and golden helmet. Throwing towards it a horde of gold that will never be exchanged for what they were overworthed, constrained to the treasure pool of its coding.
He was mining out a section for a basement to store all the blocks from mining. Could you believe how much cobbled deepslate strip mining produces? Div had been hacking away at it for 30 minutes when the sudden monotony of cobblestone and the occasional granite and diorite was broken by a block of white terracotta. Curiosity compels him, and he starts mining around it. Div quickly realized he had found a trail ruin. He had heard about them being added to the game, but this was the first time he encountered one.
Searching through his storage for a copper ingot and feather, he returned to the ruins and started brushing at any suspicious gravel he could find. Most of the loot was mediocre and trash at best, coal and seeds and the occasional dyes. Brushing another block of gravel, new items appeared. Two panes of magenta stained glass dropped out as the gravel was destroyed. Div stops to gaze at it, floating on the dirt ground. Quakitus had those same panes at his base back on the server. When they were still teammates. He considers leaving the items to despawn, but picks them up and chooses to stare at the inventory slot.
Over the next few days, Div searched for a river. Squids don't exactly spawn in freezing, cold waters. The forest of snowy taiga stretched for hundreds of blocks, and he cursed himself for making his base so far away. When he walked over a thousand blocks, the snow forest gave way to the warm plains. Div walked a few more blocks, and the ocean horizon came into view. Jumping into the chilling water, he kills as many squids as his breath would allow. Or until the Drowns began going after him. Before he left, he gathered as much sand as he could before the sun met the horizon.
He runs across the plains, back into the frosted forest. When night fell, he spent it huddled in a tight cave, listening to the moans and groans of the undead. The moment the mobs caught fire, Div bolted out into the woods. He ran, as much as his legs allowed, until the points in his hunger bar had gone down to 6. When he finally reached his home base, he threw the sand in the furnace to be smelted.
In the corner of the base, his dog tilts its head in curiosity. When enough of the sand had smelted, he let it cool for a few minutes before bringing it to the crafting table beside it. Div pulled up the crafting recipe tab, and laid the glass in the correct slots, watching as the glass shattered into thin frames. He took an ink sac and mashed it until it was a sticky, wet pulp. Surrounding the black pulp, Div grabbed the first two panes that turned black. He cut at the wood beside his bed, into a 2-by-2 hole. Like he had remembered from his memories, he placed the black panes first. Then he runs back to his chest, finding the magenta panes easily. Yet when his hands were inches away, he stopped.
Why did he do this?
Div turns back to the incomplete window, then back to the chest. He grabs the panes and fixes them in the empty spots without any more fuss. Stepping back to gaze through the glass, he sighs. He’s sighed a lot throughout his time here. The window faced the sun, showing the sun slowly beginning to set. He really spent the whole day working on a single window? He lets out a pained laugh, lying back on his bed.
Quakitus was right to be angry when Div added his secret section. The window looked horrible against the wood. Then again, was his cobblestone room. Despite being the only resident of the base, he felt some need to ask if it was okay. Maybe to the air, Shuppet, the fire in the furnace. He had half the mind to message Saturn and Pika what they thought about it. He knows they will laugh at him, not being able to decide on a window placement. He pulls out his messages, finding Saturn asking him about the sociality of flowers. Div texted him to go to sleep. He closes his messages, and turns to the uncomplete window.
He places the final two panes.
It kept the harsh light out at least.
Today there was a snowstorm. He would have still chosen to go out, he still had many things to complete, but the sudden influx of mobs in the area changed his mind. He could not even skip the night yet, for the storm began as soon as the sun rose from its slumber. There was nothing that needed to be done in the home. Div’s cabin kept him safe from the elements. His home was stocked with food. He had coal and wood to keep warm. He sits on his grey bed, neither sleeping or resting. Shuppet (the dog, he must add) curls up his chest, its low, content rumbling reverberating throughout his body. Div gave it extra food this time, a thank you for protecting him against a rogue zombie. He cards his fingers through its thick, soft fur. His eyes drifted off into the window again. The painted black and magenta glass panes make it hard to tell the day, but it keeps the harsh glare of the sunlight out.
Div could still see the storm raging outside, billows of snowflakes being blown violently across the land. He once heard that every snowflake in the world was unique, and no two snowflakes would exist at the same time. Quakitus had said it offhandedly, as he was sorting his chests of items. Div could not understand why he could remember that. Shortly after, he was kicked out of their Quakitus’ base. The anger was fresh then, before it slowly simmered into thinly veiled, bitter acceptance. Div thought stopping Quakitus would have replaced those feelings. But it only allowed it to fester, growing into delusional denial and mad bargaining. He had been ousted by the rest of the server, nearly lost his closest friends to his editor’s words, and he almost lost himself. He thought grief was a cycle, not a convoluted path that finally reached its last stage.
His grip in Shuppet tightened, the poor dog whining in concern.
“Sorry Shuppet, you alright?” Div immediately lets go, soothing the spot. Shuppet whines some more, pawing at his chest. Suddenly, it jumps up, muzzle going to lick Div.
“Hehe, that tickles!” Div exclaims as he face becomes covered in saliva. Shuppet pushes him back, still licking. He could not contain his laughter, the joyous sound ringing out throughout the cabin. When was the last time Div laughed like this? It didn’t feel fake. It wasn't some act for the camera. Shuppet stops licking him, settling on his chest instead. He picked it up and gently placed it on the floor. He waits until it closes its eyes, its breathing evening out. He cracks a reassuring smile, staring out of the window. He no longer needs to act. With any negative thoughts gone, he drifts into a comfortable slumber.
When Div awoke the next morning, Shuppet was in his arms.
Div no longer counts the days in his world. He gives himself whatever odd goal that doesn't involve killing the ender dragon. Make a trading hall, but choosing to build the hall in the village, two thousand blocks from his base. Build another house, but it’s a hole in the side of a wall. Explore the trail chambers, and be killed multiple times only for sucky loot. Sort items, decide what project needs to be done, work on said project, return home, play with Shuppet, bed, repeat.
In a way, the routine was good for Div. His thoughts no longer wander, and he felt far more focused than he had ever been. Today he needs to cook the food. He took a break from mining a while back. He goes to the nearby spruce forest and begins chopping the tree. The sun was starting to descend, when a message appeared above him.
Quakitus request to join the game.
“Wha–this is a singleplayer world! What’s he doing here?” Div rejects the request. Seconds later, the same request appears on screen.
Quakitus request to join the game.
At the same time, a ping on his messages prompted him to open it.
Quakitus: Let me in. I want to talk
Reluctantly, with a huge sigh, Div accepted the join request. He sprints to the world spawn. Dread and anxiety muddle together, unable to predict how this will play out. When he reached there, Quakitus was already chopping away at a nearby spruce tree. He stood out of the white snow, checkered magenta breaking the cold monotony.
“Hey…” Div greeted softer than he had wanted.
“Saw you on my server list. Thought I’d drop by and say hi,” Quakitus explained.
“I-this is supposed to be a singleplayer world! How were you able to join?” Div sputtered.
“Does it matter?” Quakitus finishes chopping the tree, tilting his head up to the sky.
“Well, I’m going to find someplace to wait the night.” He begins walking away.
“Wait! Q!” Quakitus halts. Div trembles, sucking a cold breath. “Do you…wanna stay at my base? It’s close by, and I’m pretty sure a snowstorm is coming by the looks of it.”
He saw the way Quakitus tensed suddenly, eyes widening before peering suspiciously at him. Quakitus does not reject it, however, and follows Div silently as they climb the snowy hill. By the time they reached the cabin, the moon had fully risen, and a gust of snow was blown their way. Div entered the house first, holding the door open for Quakitus. Div dust off the snowflakes against his coat. He skims through his chest, trying to find any spare gear. He grabs the uncooked beef and tosses it into the furnace for an excuse for heat. Quakitus stood in the middle of the cabin, observing the room. His body is turned in the direction of Div’s bed. Shuppet stood on his bed, growling at Quakitus aggressively.
“Easy Shuppet, he’s not going to hurt us.” Div shooed it off the bed onto the wooden floor. Shuppet still hunches warily, but no longer growls at Quakitus.
“You named your dog after Shuppet? Really?” Quakitus deadpanned.
“It looked like Shuppet. Why not?” Div said.
“I’m so going to tell Shuppet about this when I get back,” Quakitus giggled unabashed. “How have you been, Div?”
“I’ve been good, thank you. How is everyone on the server doing?” He takes the cooked beef from the furnace and passes half of it to Quakitus, who accepts it without hesitation. Div then gestures to him to sit on the bed, which he also accepts.
“They’re doing okay. Simply and IDK had been removed from their mod roles, for reasons we were not told. Everyone else has gone on with their lives,” Quakitus recounts. “It’s been a lot more peaceful…”
“Really? That’s good to hear then.” Div took a bite of the beef. Pika and Saturn were careful in never talking about the server with him, much to his frustration.
“Pika and Saturn miss you. They made you a memorial and everything,” Quakitus laughed, leaning his head back. Div whips his head to him.
“What! I’m not dead! I talk with them everyday!” He exclaimed.
“I know right? I told them how ridiculous it was, but everyone still played along!” The two of them fall back on to the bed in stitches, unable to contain their laughter. Shuppet stares in curiosity, and perhaps a judgmental look.
“Div?” Quakitus stopped laughing, voice dropping to a low whisper.
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry.” Div froze.
“Q what are you saying?” He turns his body to Quakitus, who looks away. Div shakes his shoulder, eyes begging for an answer, for a reason.
“You didn't deserve what happened to you, being controlled by that freak of an editor. Don’t lie, I saw the videos.”
“Ah-Q! You have no control over that, okay? You didn’t know my recordings were held by a freak editor! I was horrible to you!” Div argued, “I’ve hurt you so many times. In fact, I should be the one apologising right now!”
“I was the one that built the lag machine! I was the one that made the whole server suffer for it! I was the one that let my emotions control me to cause everyone to hate you!” Quakitus sobbed, pushing Div off the bed. He does not try to resist.
“And you were right to do that! I was delusional, I couldn't see how mean and unlikable I had become! So many times anyone or the universe would warn me, yet I ignore every one of them!” He feels hot tears running down his cheek, staining the spruce floor. At some point, Quakitus had sat up from the bed, now sitting on the floor. Tears had also formed in his eyes, black sclera glassy and cold.
“After you left, Orlix and the others sat me down. I realized how irrational I was, how much my actions affected everyone, including you,” He sadly chuckled.
“You’ve already atoned for your mistakes. It’s time for me to atone mine,” Quakitus quietly explained. “I talked to the server owner and members. They agreed to lift your ban. We all miss you, Div.”
“You can join back the server now.” He directs Div to his server list, and sure enough, the Unserious Smp server was up, with the highest player count Div had ever seen.
“So, what do you say?” Quakitus offered out his hand. Div looks around his cabin, the cabin that made his life. He turns to his sorted chests, every item telling its own story. He turns to the furnace which had long burned out. He turns to the crafting table, where so many recipes he had learnt. He turns to Shuppet, who looks up at him with a certain kind of melancholy. He turns to the window, no longer looking so out of place.
Div breaths deeply.
“Okay.”