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[RUSSIA]
What a wonderful date it is today, is it not? Today is the day my predecessor, the Soviet Union, fell into her demise. It's such a pathetic death, really. She died of a heart attack. Today we talk about Death. For Death is Merciful, as Death extends no hand in Mercy for All of Russia.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
You really love that phrase, do you?
[RUSSIA]
I can't seem to help it, Vaivydas. After all, you know very well of the Eternity I am cursed with.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
That, I cannot deny.
[RUSSIA]
I suppose Luise isn't quite fond over having to lend you—of all people—the soul? (Pause) Oh, don't look at me that way, Luise, I think it'll be quite nice to have another one of those with special circumstances to be the guest of today. Though you know me, I do prefer the dead to be the guests of usual, and with the theme of today, it fits, does it not?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Somehow, someway, you always manage to stay intact after all these years, have you, Elena? Among us four, only you have stayed fully contact with The Arches. Bohemia has lost full authority due to the merging; I died, and my position's successor—the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth—has been split apart. Though my daughter may have most of it, she, as is with Czechia, lacks full control. And as for The Constraint of The North...
[RUSSIA]
Quite peculiar of an event, that one. I won't refute your claim, Vaivydas, it isn't wrong in any way. Though the only reason why I still have such a direct interaction with mine in particular, is because it's practically guaranteed by the contract itself and I agreed upon.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
And with that context, I am sure all would understand why Death would show no Mercy to you.
[RUSSIA]
I'm sure it hates me—Death. I've come across it and interfered way too many times. I don't like it, really, but it's an inevitable process. And these encounters are what I want to talk about for today, anyway. God knows how much this entity hates me for getting in its way. The more memorable moments in when I did would probably be tied between both my sons.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Many sons you have, Elena. That does not quite narrow it down.
[RUSSIA]
I'm talking about who you once knew as Polotsk, Vaivydas. As well as Successor Tsesarevich and Grand Duke of the Russian Empire.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I am more familiar with Dmitrijus. You know I died prior to the fall of the commonwealth. I'm surprised to know that he even died in the first place.
[RUSSIA]
It wasn't a kind of death anyone would expect, really. But, I should start from the beginning for this. I suppose not the very beginning, though, as I don't think I find the First Contract to be anything endearing to even talk about, and I don't wish to talk about it anyway. So, of course, I wouldn't. I more mean the beginning, as in the first time I had an encounter with Death itself.
For simplicity's sake, I'm more telling you all of All of Russia than any other identity or variant. The "I" used here is for that, not the Russian Federation, or any of my predecessors. When I say All of Russia, I mean All of Russia. Though to be more specific, the "I" I will use from now on will also cover Rus Land. Muscovia and the Russia which came after all fall under the term of "All of Russia"—but not Rus Land, not her.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Perhaps you should stop referring to yourself in third person.
[RUSSIA]
Perhaps you should instead realise that the differences in beliefs are sometimes so grand, that it's only acceptable if I refer to those predecessors as separate beings instead. No one would understand why the Russian Empire, a woman who views communism with such distaste, would ever willingly accept such an ideology and represent with great dedication for that. Simply outrageous. They are not the same person.
(Sigh) Yes, I understand that there's not much of a differing thing between Muscovia, Tsardom, and Empire; that's why I sometimes interchange such names when referring to those beings. But as you know, for the sake of consistency, I'm afraid I have to keep separating them to create a semblance of normalcy.
(Pause)
Pass me a bit of chamomiles from the drawers, Vaivydas.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I am not some lowly servant, Elena. I do not see why I must do such a thing.
[RUSSIA]
My goodness, must I do all the work in this place? I'm sure you want to hear what I'll say concerning Death. Even those who have died can't see Death unless they could when they were alive. That's the only reason why you're so interested in what I say. Do me a favour, and just this once, get the chamomiles from there? I already have the tea brewed. I'd offer you a cup, but I'm afraid you're unable to.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
(Grumble) Just this once, will I ever serve your likes, Elena. I am only being gracious with you because of my own curiosity. (Rattle) God lend me patience. (Slam) Here is your little flavour-er. I do not see why you must drink your tea with this flower as a taste.
[RUSSIA]
It's more sentimental than anything, Vaivydas. (Plop) Tea is just fine without anything else, but the flowers are mainly because of that son of mine you've met. (Clink) You know him, don't look at me that way. Novgorod Rus? He drinks his alcohol the same way.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
With flowers? I was not aware that Vitalijus was such an eccentric. Though it makes sense, looking at who his mother is.
[RUSSIA]
It's not a bad taste, believe me. (Sip) Gives a more unique if we compare to the usual blandness of this beverage. There is a reason why I drink so much tea, after all. Even United Kingdom doesn't drink this as much as I do. (Huff) Well, I suppose that's an exaggerated statement. He certainly drinks his own fair share of tea, but he's more of a drunkard if we compare himself to his mother. I'd say England drinks as much tea as I do.
Now that I've been rejuvenated enough, I'll start talking. About the events with Death, I mean. I've been talking this whole time. I'm sure Vaivydas has found my voice annoying so far.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Usually, I would be, if one were to keep talking of this calibre and not get to the point. But you... are blessed with that voice of yours.
[RUSSIA]
Are you saying you like hearing me speak?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
It is this same effect Dmitrijus has. Both of you speak as if you wish to lull me, though with you, it has a more curious effect to myself. Perhaps it is due to your standing as one of my standing which makes me so curious. Or you are a person who has many stories, and one simply yearns for knowledge.
[RUSSIA]
You've dealt with more knowledge than I have.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Angels bestow knowledge without the human experience, Elena. It is a different kind of knowledge than I am used to. Now, I wish you to speak, Elena. Speak of your experience with Death itself.
[RUSSIA]
(Scoff) In the old days, you would've chosen to terrorise me to get answers, rather than being so polite. I suppose dying changes a person. (Chuckle) Ah, of course it does! What am I saying. I've seen those happen way too many times to not notice.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Speaking from personal experience, as always. It only makes me wonder how different we both are in age. Or rather, how close we are in age.
[RUSSIA]
Vaivydas, you were born in the tenth century, were you not?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
A great chance, yes.
[RUSSIA]
That would mean I'm two centuries older than you are.
(Silence)
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
As much as I wish to deny what you have just claimed, I know what you said must be true, considering the birth date of your son, Vitalijus.
[RUSSIA]
That settles it, then. You're still considered to be a part of the Old Generation with that year, so, worry not. It's not like it matters, really. I only officially became a Representation in the late eight century. Well, officially is a bit of a stretch there. I really only started representing when Ryurik came to rule, as with his descendants. And that wasn't too long before your birth, I believe. How old were you when Nethimer was baptised?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I suppose the right number would have been sixteen.
[RUSSIA]
Consistently twice as slow?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
A bit longer than that.
[RUSSIA]
Let's say around three times, then. That would mean that, at most, you're a century and a year younger than my son chronologically.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
What a horrifying prospect.
[RUSSIA]
Oh, that happens to many others once they realise.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
As much as I find your voice soothing, I think I would rather have you start talking of your encounters sooner than later, Elena.
[RUSSIA]
If that is what you wish, then alright, Vaivydas.
You must be well aware of those horseback archers, the Mongols, are you not? Yes, I'm sure you do, there's no need to reply on such a rhetorical question. At the time, the situation within Rus Land wasn't one of a unitary state—as if it ever was—and power was practically within limbo considering all the princes within were fighting each other for the prestigious title of "Grand Prince of Kyjevŭ", or whatever.
In late November of 1240, I stayed within the confines of the capital. And you know, it was already a peculiar thing that my body was actually starting to ache unnaturally by then. It was until the city was besieged did it start to make sense to me. At the time, it was the soon-to-be Ruthenia—a merger of Halych and Volyn, with Volyn as the major influencer—who held the title of grand prince, and so, they were the one who stayed and defended the capital with myself.
Two days before my first death, it was a new sensation to me. Because something in my head clicked, that my stature wasn't trapped in one state of age now. In that moment, I knew that I had finally aged a day, after I stayed three days away from the physical age of seventeen. It only took four-hundred and seventy years. That was an ominous sign, especially to that naïveté of a person that was myself at the time.
When the walls failed in its purpose on the sixth of December, Halych-Volyn Rus dragged me to the central area of the city as an attempt to not have me die. Of course their efforts did not work, as they were immediately separated due to a sudden attack from their side from the adversary. And do have you ever heard on how Rus Land died, Vaivydas? (Pause) No? I was shot by an arrow to the heart.
It was... unexpected, to say the least. As much as I'd say in my younger years that I had my guard up, it's not possible to do so when the one who shot me was a human from far away on horseback. I held my focus only to those in front of me, not the whole scope of the environment. And so, I died. For the first time in my life, I died.
I think I heard Ruthenia cry out my name as I fell.
Being dead was a weird experience, I'll tell you that. Due to the nature of ghosts being unable to retain memories if they return to either The Afterlife or the original body, I cannot tell you what happened in between my death and resurrection, as I simply do not know what happened. What I can most certainly tell you though, is what I felt before I woke up.
When I started to retain my consciousness, I didn't open my eyes immediately. It felt like I was dreaming a dream that was never meant to be known. I remembered my last moments clearly, and at that time, I asked myself, "is that how it ended?"—with the knowledge of the premonition, the answer was obvious. No, it was not the end.
The dream was cold, unlike any other cold I have ever felt in my life before this. The lands under my jurisdiction were cold, yes, but not like this. The cold doesn't seep into the bones in such a way, the mere idea of moving felt like my bones would shatter to a thousand un-mendable pieces. It felt so bone-chilling, I neither could speak nor even think when I saw that... figure looming above me.
It was something which looked so uncannily human, but in one look, I knew that it was simply not. Those robes—which looked as if one big sheet of silk was thrown on—covered its body in a haphazard way, but it still looked as purposeful as it could possibly be in covering it. The parts uncovered by the cloth was covered by a dark mist, a black fog I couldn't see through, and that included its face.
The only thing I could see in that empty mass on where a face should be was a pair of brown irises staring back at me. If I were to shine light at it, I'm sure it would reflect the colour of a golden hue. Those rings were the only thing I was able to discern from its presumed face, and the most clear thing to me at that time was how... striking its feelings were behind its eyes. It was looking at me with scrutiny, and it was intuitive to me that this figure was indeed Death.
The silence was thick, and I couldn't move an inch. Not that I wanted to. It kept staring deep into my soul, and I wondered to myself, "is paradise real?"
The answer? No, no it is not, because the next thing I knew was that I opened my eyes, and it was dark. I felt suffocated, and that was the first moment in my life that I learnt how to shift through the soil. When I did find myself aboveground, there I find myself on top of a burial. It was distinctly not Slavic, of course it wasn't. I was buried under a ship. Because I had died, I was certain of it, and the next thing I knew, I woke up being stared by Death, and find myself buried alive.
I was dead. But now I was not.
It didn't take long for myself to meet any of my associates at the time. They all assumed I was Rus Land's... secret daughter. Because it was simply impossible that she had lived, as they had seen my body earthed into the ground, and the grand prince had most certainly seen myself die.
And that was then when I realised that I shouldn't have wished for such a curse upon myself.
It was a grave mistake. One should never be so unspecified in their words, and once tragedy befalls them due to that slight mishap, they have no one to blame but themselves. I had no one to blame but myself. Such a young naïve child wished for something so miraculous, it cursed her, cursed! Though The Arches may deem it a blessing, it has been nothing but a curse, Vaivydas.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
You are not the only one who regrets such a decision made by their own unknowing juvenile self. But I suppose I do not understand the extent on what you feel, for I did not wish upon myself anything alike on what you did.
[RUSSIA]
I had no one to blame but myself.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Not even curious on what my curse is?
[RUSSIA]
Is there really a need to, when I already know? There's no curiosity that you have to quench, it's only an act of courtesy if you ever want to tell me that. Whether or not you do is up to you in the end, of course. And either answers would neither bring me down nor benefit me.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
There is no need to then. Continue, when was the next time you met Death?
[RUSSIA]
It was during another battle against the Mongols. This time, Kulikuvo. The battle happened on the eight of September in the 1380th year of our lord. Nothing interesting particularly happened, the principalities who accompanied myself against the Horde were not those who were ever particularly close to me. Well, with the exception of Tver Rus and Beloozero Rus. Tver did not see myself die, neither did Beloozero, nor any of the principalities. It was instead Moscow, dearest capital.
Unlike Ruthenia, she did not scream. She stared, gaze empty.
I could tell that Moscow couldn't make sense of it, an arrow lodged into my neck as I fell. It was hilarious at the time, really. I died because of an arrow, yet again. Of course I did. These horseback warriors were known for their archery, it wasn't strange to have myself fall due to something like an arrow. It was just a bit repetitive to have died twice due to one.
For myself to resurrect, I had to wait thirty days. Due to the fact that I had died just once by that moment, I did not know what to expect, but I certainly knew that this would not be my final death. Far from it, actually. With that curse that has befallen me, I knew that it would be long before I would die in a permanent manner. All I could do was wait, and by all means, I was Eternal; because I would never commit myself to such a deal breaker. Even if it means that I could finally come to a undisturbed slumber and be let go of this world, I would never find myself the ability to that deal breaker.
Before I died, I had gained the ability to see the souls of the dead and Death itself. Not just to Representations, no, but to humans as well. This was a bit of an odd thing, as as far as I know, those who are able to do so are quite the rarity. I believe it's only possible to do so when Death itself met you of its own—or its vessels—volition. Before that death, I had begun to notice the presence of Death increasing.
The last thing I saw after Moscow's face was Death's own.
And I was in that same dream again. The Dream would be a better way to refer to it. And there it was again, the same sensation, the same view, the same everything. It was pitch black as it always was, somehow I could differentiate between Death and the void around us. The atmosphere was as frosty as it could ever be, and it was in that moment that I heard it speak.
"We will not extend a hand in Mercy for you."
It did not speak in what is now called Old East Slavic. It was obvious, I could hear that it spoke in another language, vaguely familiar, but I could not make sense of it at the time. Yet I understood it, clearly as ever. The message it brought forth was clear, its eyes changed to something more distasteful, and I knew very well that what I had done was irreversible. Death had forsaken me.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Ah, so that is where that motto of yours come from.
[RUSSIA]
When I say that Death is Merciful, believe me. It is Merciful, it takes one's soul away from worldly suffering. It is kind, it does not discriminate from one another. Death is Eternal, for it will remain in this world until its final end. I had just, well, gone against its preference by being unable to die permanently.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
And I presume you won't do this deal breaker?
[RUSSIA]
As I said before, no, I will never willingly do such a thing.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
It is not because you worry your connection to The Arches would disappear, is it?
[RUSSIA]
I'd actually be quite glad if it did. No, it's more personal. There would be no repeat of that tragedy.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
As it seems to be the case so far, considering you are still alive.
[RUSSIA]
I've actually broken the deal once.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Then how are you—
[RUSSIA]
Unwillingly. It wasn't within my own actual individual control. The Arches simply went lenient on me and cursed me another time instead. And this one they explicitly called a curse.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
You are bold.
[RUSSIA]
I don't even want to think about any of it at this point.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
When did that happen either way?
[RUSSIA]
You were still alive, were you not? It was in the late fifteenth century.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
You were not even the Tsardom of Russia by then.
[RUSSIA]
I wasn't, but I still remember it as clear as day.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Of course you do, you are unable to forget.
[RUSSIA]
I do not see why anyone would ever accept that they had called that a blessing.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
One should not base their human perspectives to those of the divine.
[RUSSIA]
No, they should not. (Pause) I suppose you want me to continue to my third death, then. Alright, I'll do just that.
This was the last death before the whole array of those happened in the last century. The year was 1709, and a good portion of Europe's Great Powers were entrenched in the Great Northern War. Myself and my father were pitted against one another, it gave me a sense of déjà vu, really. This was not the first time I had went to war against Sweden in my long lives.
I recall that moment within the Times of Troubles. Your children were giving me a headache, and here was another addition. My father who just so happened to interfere needlessly. Though we have met before, it was there that I learnt he had just changed his name from Styraldr to Stellan. Truly, did my father really think people's perception of him would change simply because he changed his grim meaning of a name to one which means "calm"? It wouldn't.
This was in Poltava. The day I died, I mean. The battle was fierce, as all of them always have been. It was an odd moment. You know very well that within war, we become invisible to the prying eyes of humans, unless we intentionally interact with them. The Swedes had set up a centre in one of the churches there and he retreated there.
Previously we had come into contact within the fields of Poltava, and he had brought out that Dane axe originally owned by his "brother" Denmark. I was only aided with whatever sword I could find, as I had somehow lost my preferred one in some ditch within the havoc of the battle. It was found again, yes, but only after he and I fled the scene towards the church.
The humans must have regarded the weird thuds as the battle outside, and really. We fought near the bell tower there, and Sweden managed to overpower me, flinging me backwards, as I hit the tower. It was... an experience. Because the force he used to throw me was so great, that it had practically made the tower crumble, and the bell fell on top of me, hitting the ground with a loud ring.
I still hear it, you know. Every eight of July. The ringing fills my ears for a whole minute before it finally stops.
And so, I died again. I know Sweden had saw me die, because the next thing he said when I returned was that, "Impossible! I saw you die that day!" and he was not wrong. I did, I just returned, as I always do, I always come back. There is no denying that.
I retreat back into The Dream before I woke up to the living once more. Then, due to how it has happened for the same amount of time the last two times, I knew that it must've been already thirty days since I died in the living world. This time, I decided to move.
I do not immediately see Death, I never did. It usually takes around thirty seconds from myself becoming conscious in The Dream for it to appear. The air was as icy as it always was, and I forced myself upwards. It was painful, I must admit. Even more than any physical pain I had ever felt before. Whether or not it was even physical is debatable. I stood up high, feeling my crushed body weigh down. It wasn't a surprise, I was quite literally crushed by a building after all. Until I saw it.
It was staring back at me as it always does, and it spoke to me once more, in that same language I did not know what to put as. Though it had become increasingly familiar to me by that point, I just had no idea, as if something was inherently blocking my way of thinking, how to articulate what language I felt like I should know it as.
"We do not know what Contract you have made with The ██████████ of The ████, ███████, for we have never been able to touch your essence."
It was not happy with me. I know that to be true. It had explicitly told me that it could not touch me. All that Death touches would be taken to The Afterlife, but it could not touch me. It could not touch my own self. That made clear what it meant from last time, because it meant it literally—it could not touch my soul.
And then I woke up. Within the next battle, Sweden met myself once more and said those words. In that battle, I overpowered him, and took his Dane axe.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
What is so special about that axe, that you use it as one of your main arsenal of blades?
[RUSSIA]
It's more because it belonged to someone else at one point. I use war prizes a lot, you know. It's effective in the terms of intimidating your adversary, because you took it from whoever they are.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Always so much of a...
[RUSSIA]
Arsehole?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I was more implying your taunts as a sort of jester, but I suppose I have to agree.
(Silence)
[RUSSIA]
My fourth death was... when Nicholas II abdicated, I was killed by my second son.
(Silence)
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Is that all you have to say about it?
[RUSSIA]
It's quite hard to articulate what happened that day, Vaivydas. You haven't loved your own child the same way I did. If you knew that your son would kill you, you would've killed him in an instant, even if he was just a newborn babe. I, on the other hand, did not, despite knowing that very well.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
And that is your mistake, is it not?
[RUSSIA]
Are you forgetting that I cannot die permanently? The idea of him killing me was never an issue to me. It was more that he'd be the one to kill me.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
You have... a fair point.
[RUSSIA]
It doesn't matter. There was a reason his name was Nikifor anyway.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I am not as well-versed in Greek than I like to admit, to know what that name means.
[RUSSIA]
How did you even know it was Greek if you didn't?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I am a Catholic, you are an Orthodox... it is quite obvious which names you would prefer.
[RUSSIA]
That doesn't mean you don't name your people Aleksandras, or that I don't name my people Pavel, does it not?
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
... No. (Sigh) Continue, then. What did you see in The Dream?
[RUSSIA]
I saw The Arches.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Not Death?
[RUSSIA]
No, because I formed a second Contract with it.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
You... you are insane. A second Contract?
[RUSSIA]
You should probably take a look at how Godless Empire's successor was if we compare her to her.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I get what you are saying, and why you are not elaborating more on this, but another one? You have always been the mad one of us four, Elena.
[RUSSIA]
Oh, listen... I don't really know what I was even thinking back then. I mentioned that I could see Death every now and then, did I not? I still do. It actually lingers around me too much for me to be comfortable. Ever since my third death, I've been seeing Death actively take the souls of those Representations who die. I've seen Death take the souls of Representations countless of times, and I certainly had done so when my second son died for the first time.
That was likely the first time I had angered it directly.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
What did you do?
[RUSSIA]
Prevented it from taking his soul to The Afterlife. It was clearly unhappy of me for doing that.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Who would not, really.
[RUSSIA]
And I haven't mentioned, but Death's eye colour does change ever so often. The longest time was that first brown-gold I saw. The colour I perceived during that time with my son was a more electric kind of blue, while the time before that, as in when I died, it looked at me with eyes the colour of cornflowers. I do know why they change colours, but I'd rather not explain it.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Does Death have its own like how The Arches do?
[RUSSIA]
It's... I wouldn't say it does, but in the end, it does. (Pause) Don't look at me that way, Vaivydas. It's not that surprising. Ominous as it may be, but Death's own is very much unaware that they are what they are. It's their own curse, I suppose.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Quite enlightening. How did I not know of this?
[RUSSIA]
Because as I said before, it's not exactly like The Arches' own. Whatever, the last century was the most unnecessary one of all in terms of deaths. I died five times. That's hardly a fun thing to experience, you know. Especially considering three of them happened in one decade. One! Do you know how absurd that is! Oh, goodness.
The second death of the century, the fifth, happened in the Great Patriotic War. The fifth and the sixth did, actually. But starting with the fifth, it was on the seventh of January, under a year after the start of Operation Barbarossa. The last day of what historians would call the Battle of Moscow. Our supplies were running low, and we had pushed back the Germans for more than a hundred kilometres from the capital.
Stalin had ordered us to keep our offensives, but we couldn't. Though on my sides, it was more because in a last-ditch effort, the Nazi had pulled up a flamethrower and used it on me. It was a, hm, quite the painful sensation I must say. Being burnt alive in every visible part possible. Safe to say that I died in no time due to the fact that the intensity of the fire was great, and had burnt my internal organs as well.
I'll talk of The Dream later on, but as for the sixth death, it was only a year and a week after my previous death. Outrageous, outrageous I say! The fourteenth of the first month of the new year, and as I saved my human men from a collapsing building, the Nazi threw a grenade at me. I don't recall how much of myself was blown off, because I couldn't really see considering I was blinded right before my previous death last year, but I'm sure half of my body was gone in an instant. Operation Iskra is its name. Goodness, the phantom pain of having your eyes being stabbed sure is prevalent.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
And what of The Dream?
[RUSSIA]
It's hard to say. These two deaths had such odd ones. The Dream was... perhaps altered than its usual due to the fact that it was the Nazi who killed me. If it was any other, I'm sure nothing would change.
It was a field of flowers, edelweiss to be specific. Though oddly enough, as I walked—the cold was still there, must I remind you—it felt as if I was dragging my feet through an ankle-deep puddle of water. Death did not come to me in the figure that I was used to in the last millennia, but in the form of his first own. It looked at me with the eyes that I remember seeing for the first time, and it spoke to me;
"Do you regret living?"
A peculiar thing to even ask, in my opinion. I didn't choose to be born. And then it asked me another question.
"Do you regret your responsibilities as what you are?"
Well, how am I even supposed to even answer that? It was quite a vague description, but it was clear to me that it was talking about the responsibilities of a Personification. How am I supposed to regret such a thing, when I never had the choice on whether or not I could or I could not be a Personification? I am not Ascended, I was Born one.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
How philosophical.
[RUSSIA]
(Scoff) Ironic you say that considering my name at the time was Sofiya.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
How is that even supposed to be ironic?
[RUSSIA]
Sofiya is a name derived from the Greek word sophia. It simply means wisdom. Philosophy, which comes from philosophia, literally means lover of wisdom.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I... did not know that.
[RUSSIA]
Well, you did say you weren't the best in Greek. So, that makes complete sense to me. Those weren't the only things Death asked me in that moment, by the way. It kept on going with its questions, as it asked me again;
"Do you regret all the sins you have committed as what you are?"
I was getting a bit tired of these questions, really. Do I? Is there really even a semblance of allowance for me to regret all the things I have done? "What we are", we are beings of patience, we are slaves to what we represent, we are ever-patient until our death about our circumstances of our enslavement. Really, has there ever been a choice given to us which fully benefits us? No, because every independent thought we commit ends awfully for ourselves.
"Do you regret not dying when given the choice to?"
That was its last question, and frankly, I knew my answer quite clearly. There was... there was just... if only he...
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Elena?
[RUSSIA]
(Sigh) I would choose to die in a heartbeat, if you bring me back to that day.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
Why is that the case?
[RUSSIA]
Because that practically wouldn't have sealed my fate as one of The Arches' own. (Pause) I spoke too much. (Sigh) Ignore what I just said. I don't want to think about that at all. Whatever, where was I again? Oh, yes, my seventh death, now isn't it?
After Death asked that question, I woke up, and practically did not see Death until my next death, four years after that encounter. It was odd, but it wasn't the oddest thing in the world. I was alive for far longer than four years after all. That day, I walked into the radius of a nuclear bomb during its testing. I. I just felt like I wanted to. There was no other backstory, no nothing. I died right after.
The Dream was like the first four ones. Dark, pitch black, alone, tall robed figure. Its eyes were back to cornflower now. This time, it didn't speak to me in the other language, but in my birth tongue.
"Do not kill yourselves. Surely we are All-Merciful to you"
It was unsettling, to hear it speak in that language. And yes, Death is Merciful, yes, that I agree. So, just because it asked, I decided that I should stop trying to end myself when I wish to. (Sigh) That wasn't really the exact thing it said, but I just... would rather not say what it said verbatim. The others before though, were exactly what it said to me. This is just the only exception I will make.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
That is quite the odd choice.
[RUSSIA]
I know. (Pause) My last death, was as I said before, a heart attack. When the republics of the union began to withdraw from their position as member states, it was clear to me that my time is near. Well (scoff) I already knew that anyway, I already knew the date I would die. I was given the ability to predict the time I'd die. And I certainly knew that I was fated to die on the twenty-sixth of December of 1991.
When the government of Soviet Russia chose to leave on the twelfth, it was peculiar to me that that wasn't the date I died. Well, perhaps it was because I wasn't just Soviet Russia, was I? The Soviet Union was a union of republics, and at the time, there was still one member state, Soviet Kazakhstan. Though when he left four days after, it was... weird.
It felt as if I was on the plane of being existing and not at the same time. It was the first time I had felt such a thing, really. Just took ten days for me to die, when the Union was declared to be no more. I spent my last moments wishing a happy birthday to that god-daughter of mine, drinking a bit of chamomile tea, and decided that for once, I should talk to America.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
That ex-British colony? What did you speak to him?
[RUSSIA]
Nothing too important, really. That phone call was the time I got an actual admittance on what he felt over this whole thing. (Chuckle) I already knew, of course, it was just a good feeling to get an actual confession from him about that. One of the best feelings, I say, to have what you know be confirmed from the source themselves.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
And then you died?
[RUSSIA]
I died, and I was still on the line with America. I believe he panicked when he heard something fall down, simultaneously as the news announced the raising of the flag of what would be the Russian Federation.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
What was The Dream about?
[RUSSIA]
I— (Hitch) I think that one I have to withhold information from. Because that was the only time in where The Dream stayed faithful to its name.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
How odd.
[RUSSIA]
Yes (laugh) I'd have to agree to that. It was new, for sure, and had no correlation with Death. I suppose The Arches interfered for me to see such a blissful thing.
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
I wonder what you saw that day, then.
[RUSSIA]
It was a— ah, let's just say that...
[GRAND DUCHY OF LITHUANIA]
What is it then?
[RUSSIA]
I saw nothing but The Sun in The Dream.
[Click]