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The following is a recording of the ____ Communication Logs from XX/XX/20XX at 01:34.
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“Status report.” — C01, Reaper.
“Me and Wild Card haven’t seen much action today. There was a burglary earlier, but nothing else.” —C03, White Rabbit.
“You should’ve seen what White Rabbit did to him. I mean, wow. Pent up anger, much?” —C02, Wild Card.
“Shut up, A- Wild Card!” —C03, White Rabbit.
“Both of you shut up.” —C04, Wolf.
“What Wolf said.” —C01, Reaper.
“Wolf and I met up to deal with a mugging an hour ago. We have decided to join together for the rest of the night!” —C06, Cerberus.
“Was the mugging serious? Why are you two finishing patrol together?” —C01, Reaper.
“Wolf was feeling lonely!” —C06, Cerberus.
“I- no I wasn’t!” —C04, Wolf.
“Fine. Bolt? Status?” —C01, Reaper.
“I am doing well. There is (crash) nothing to worry about for myself.” —C07, Bolt.
“What the fuck, was that a car I just heard?!” —C02, Wild Card.
“I am currently engaging some of Siren’s henchmen, but I am not (crash) fragile. I shall defeat these dastardly enemies.” —C07, Bolt.
“Okay, cool it with the Shakespearean language, Bolt. I’m sending Wild Card and White Rabbit to assist.” —C01, Reaper.
“Ugh, really?!” —C02, Wild Card.
“Aw man…” —C03, White Rabbit.
“Do not do that! I am handling this situation (explosion) well.” —C07, Bolt.
“Say that again and I’m sending everyone there.” —C01, Reaper.
“…Fine. I admit I could use some assistance.” —C07, Bolt.
“Fuck my life.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Sucks to be you guys!” —C06, Cerberus.
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End transmission.
The following is a recording of the ____ Communication Logs from XX/XX/20XX at 11:51.
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“Hello, anyone there? I could use some assistance.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Poison Apple? Status?” —C01, Reaper.
“It’s the fucking Enchantress.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Language! Hah.” —C02, Wild Card.
“…Wild Card. Aren’t you supposed to be in cl-“ —C01, Reaper.
“Woah, don’t say that! Secret identities, remember?” —C02, Wild Card.
“Well. What are you doing on the comms, then?” —C01, Reaper.
“We’re on…break right now.” —C03, White Rabbit.
“Oh, hey White Rabbit. You too?” —C05, Poison Apple.
“All of us, actually.” —C03, Wolf.
“Really? Even Bolt?” —C01, Reaper.
“Correct.” —C07, Bolt.
“…Sports?” —C01, Reaper.
“Aaaaaand all of our identities are now at risk. Thanks a lot, Reaper.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Guys? Hello? Enchantress? If none of y’all are gonna help, shut up.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Where at?” —C04, Wolf.
“Literally right next to Octavinelle Prep. Who’s closest?” —C05, Poison Apple.
“…Me.” —C04, Wolf.
“Sucks to be you.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Wild Card, I’m tempted to send you instead.” —C01, Reaper.
“Aye aye, sir. Shutting up now.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Wolf, go assist Poison Apple with fighting Enchantress. Everyone else, stand by.” —C01, Reaper.
“ETA?” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Ugh…10 minutes. Can you hold out until then?” —C04, Wolf.
“Sure. Fine. Just hurry up.” —C05, Poison Apple.
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End transmission.
The following is a recording of the ____ Communication Logs from XX/XX/20XX at 13:08.
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“Poison Apple. Reaper. Are you two receiving this message?” —C07, Bolt.
“Don’t worry Bolt, already on it.” —C01, Reaper.
“Eh? What’s wrong?” —C05, Poison Apple.
“My…location is currently being attacked by an unknown criminal. I am currently unable to change into my uniform.” —C07, Bolt.
“Shit. I’ll make my way over. Is there anyone else that can help?” —C05, Poison Apple.
“I might be able to!” —C06, Cerberus.
“Or- Cerberus? Aren’t you…occupied?” —C07, Bolt.
“Technically yes, but I should be able to sneak away from everyone else!” —C06, Cerberus.
“The criminal attacking looks like a regular burglar. Poison Apple, are you good to take him?” —C01, Reaper.
“Yup. On my way over.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Aw, so I don’t get to test out my new missiles?” —C06, Cerberus.
“…No, Cerberus. In fact, please don’t use those unless absolutely necessary.” —C01, Reaper.
“Define ‘absolutely necessary’ so that I may update my parameters.” —C06, Cerberus.
“I’ll answer that when you get to the base. Poison Apple, go help Bolt.” —C01, Reaper.
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End transmission.
The following is a recording of the ____ Communication Logs from XX/XX/20XX at 11:24.
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“Whoever keeps FUCKING leaving their snacks on the rooftops, I’m coming for your kneecaps.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“It was White Rabbit!” —C06, Cerberus.
“Cerberus you snitch!” —C03, White Rabbit.
“He didn’t even ask Cerberus specifically, Cerberus just gave it away. That’s crazy.” —C02, Wild Card.
“You have been eating during patrol?!” —C07, Bolt.
“You haven’t?” —C04, Wolf.
“Yeah, that’s weirder than leaving your trash around on rooftops. Everyone snacks during patrol.” —C02, Wild Card.
“I don’t!” —C06, Cerberus.
“Okay, well, obviously.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Bolt, patrol takes hours. You’re telling me you don’t eat anything during patrol?!” —C01, Reaper.
“Oh, hello Reaper!” —C04, Cerberus.
“Of course not. I make sure to eat a satisfactory dinner before patrol starts so that I am not distracted during patrol.” —C07, Bolt.
“…Can I know your meal plan? If you’re eating enough to sustain yourself, you must be filling up on carbs…” —C04, Wolf.
“Not important. If anyone else leaves their trash on the rooftops, I’ll kill you.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Uhh dramatic much?” —C02, Wild Card.
“No, Wild Card. Not dramatic. Because I grappled onto an apartment building rooftop just now, and almost slipped because someone left a damn banana peel there!” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Oh that was me, my bad.” —C04, Wolf.
“Wolf?!” —C07, Bolt.
“What.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Sorry, needed potassium.” —C04, Wolf.
“What the fuck? That’s not something that you just need randomly like protein or carbs. Are you high? Genuinely.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Shut up.” —C04, Wolf.
“Wolf, you’re fucking dead to me.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Okay, clear the comms. Poison Apple, just pick the damn trash up. Everyone else, stop leaving trash on the rooftops, as apparently it is a safety hazard. Capiche?” —C01, Reaper.
“Mmmmkay.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Capiche!” —C06, Cerberus.
“Wolf. White Rabbit. Us, Blanche Avenue, November 18th. 15:00.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“What the fuck?” —C02, Wild Card.
“Hush. They are clearly planning a duel.” —C07, Bolt.
“Don’t duels only involve two people?” —C01, Reaper.
“…Reaper you’re such a fucking hypocrite.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Fine. I’ll see you then.” —C04, Wolf.
“Same. I ain’t one to back down from a challenge. You better prepare.” —C03, White Rabbit.
“…We all hang out daily. You’re going to see him tomorrow. Why not just duel him then?” —C02, Wild Card.
“It’s the principle of the matter, Wild Card!” —C06, Cerberus.
“…Right. Whatever.” —C02, Wild Card.
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End transmission.
The following is a recording of the ____ Communication Logs from XX/XX/20XX at 00:01.
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“…Alright. Everyone,status update—I need to know that you’re all in position.” —C01, Reaper.
“Clear. Poison Apple and I are on the ground floor.” —C02, Wild Card.
“Clear! I am above!” —C06, Cerberus.
“Clear. I am on the rooftop.” —C07, Bolt.
“Clear. White Rabbit and I are on the second floor lookout.” —C04, Wolf.
“Alright. Wolf, White Rabbit, close in on the target. Wild Card, Poison Apple, standby—but be ready to engage.” —C01, Reaper.
“Got it.” —C05, Poison Apple.
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End transmission.
The following is a recording of the ____ Communication Logs from XX/XX/20XX at 15:21.
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“—show you that he’s real! P- hey, can you hear me?” —C04, Wolf.
“Oi, why are you on the comms?” —C01, Reaper.
“I’m trying to get in touch with my. Boyfriend?” —C04, Wolf.
“…Your what.” —C01, Reaper.
“My boyfriend that exists. Can I talk with him?” —C04, Wolf.
“…Fine. PA, get over here.” —C01, Reaper.
“…Hello?” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Hello…darling.” —C04, Wolf.
“…Darling. Right. Okay.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“…Goodbye.” —C04, Wolf.
“Yup, see ya.” —C05, Poison Apple.
“Holy shit what just happened???” —C02, Wild Card.
“Everyone…just go back to what you were doing. I’m too busy to deal with this right now.” —C01, Reaper.
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End transmission.
“So, boss, what’re ya thinkin’?”
“I’m thinking that we’ve stumbled upon a gold mine, gentlemen.”
“Fufufu. Indeed we have.”
