Work Text:
shubble & toast
toast: shubleeee shubleeee
shubble: I do not mind the extra e's but please take the time to add that second b in there
toast: woag. u are in my phone spelt like that. i cant believe i have never known how u spelt ur name
shubble: are you kidding me?
toast: nonono. holy shit. I must have never written u a birthday card either. or I guess u haven't noticed i spelt it wrong before. wow. I really gotta be a better friend. oof
shubble: ah, well, its okay. just, keep the spelling in mind i guess
toast: no shubble !! its important that u stand up for urself and what I did is awful and unforgivable
shubble: so you want me to be mad at u?
toast: hmmm. well this conversation is already going considerably worse than I thought it would and I haven't even gotten to the reason yet
shubble: well ok. why don't we just start over then. take 2?
toast: yes ok deal
toast: hello shubble and my good friend who i value greatly
shubble: hello toast, what can I do for you?
toast: I was wondering if u have any advice for a poor soul who is now living with a gross romantic couple
shubble: lmao
toast: and you mock me? I reach out to you in my vulnerable state and you mock me ?
shubble: settle down toast
toast: give me a sec…
toast: ok settled
shubble: u are the one who didn't know my name a second ago right? so like do you really have a leg to stand on?
toast: shubble (note: name spelt correctly) this is an entirely new take of the conversation, how dare u bring up my past failures like that
shubble: my sincerest apologies. You may now return to asking me for advice
toast: i will do. shubble my dearest friend, i say it again, how have u handled living with ur roommates for so long? tay and krusty have been dating barely a month and i just cannot take it anymore
shubble: are they that really that coupley of a couple? i wouldn't have expected that of them tbh
toast: tay is literally always sitting kruz's lap
toast: do u need literally any other examples ?
shubble: rofl. ok that i can see. tbh my advice is to let them have their honeymoon period and go hang out with friends. they will settle down, trust me. its just that exciting new relationship buzz
toast: eugh shubble that advice is sooo boring
shubble: oh im so sorry, maybe you should try to break them up then?
toast: there we go! something more exciting
shubble: rofl
shubble: as long as you're joking toast
shubble: toast? you are kidding right?
tay & chilled
tay: are u free for lunch on wednesday
chilled: no hello? no how are you? not even a question mark at the end of that sentence?
tay: dont be a cunt
tay: are u free or what
tay: ?
chilled: hello tay. good to hear from you
tay: i gave u the damn question mark
tay: when did you become all about small talk anthony?
chilled: maybe I am just trying to hold us to a higher standard
tay: lmao why
chilled: …thats a good question
tay: hey now. dont be rude
chilled: you are the most impossible person to please in the world
tay: tell that to ur mom
chilled: wow kruz really has been rubbing off on you huh
tay: stfu
tay: so lunch?
chilled: lmao. sure yeah I'm down
tay: as long as u dont only get broccoli this time
chilled: you and your big head are not one to talk about picky eating
tay: yeah but when I do it its cool
chilled: and for me?
tay: i think u know the answer anthony
chilled: jesus christ. ok fine. just to end this conversation I’ll agree to no broccoli (this time)
tay: god, you're so easy
doug funnie fan club ( tay, ze, shadow, slack, catz, g, d20, legion )
ze: ok guys huddle up, are we ready for thursday?
g: what?
ze: I know for a fact that you know what I'm talking about
catz: actually i am pretty sure g is not on the team
ze: g and also legion are our reserves
catz: do the reserves really need to be there/know whats going on. like i'm pretty sure no one is going to pull out this close to it
tay: thats what she said
ze: jesus christ you're a child
tay: a child that is going to win you this tournament
ze: god if you're our ringer we are more screwed than I thought
legion: bro i dont think ur using the right sports terms
tay: well you're not even gonna be there so stfu
ze: thanks for the backup tay. but its all good. i think i'm mostly using them right and that's good enough for me
ze: plus as we were just saying. legion is going to be there. as a reserve
slack: who is this mysterious "we" you seem to speak of
legion: i was just trying to help out dude
ze: and that is appreciated legion
tay: its not
ze: well differing opinions i guess
ze: but what isn't appreciated is the non-answer on whether ur going to be there
ze: because you and g are vital members to the team
slack: well not /that/ vital
catz: carter why are u even a part of this conversation
tay: oooh zinger !
cats: i didn't mean it to sound that mean sry slack
slack: honestly u should all be sucking up to me. the only reason i'm not on this team is bc I'm literally working at the establishment that night
tay: you aren't going to be quizzing us. thats all speedy
slack: I think tay that u have forgotten that to even compete in trivia the bouncer has to also not kick you out
tay: kruz is higher up than u. if u kick me out i will get xe to fire you
slack: me and kev have already agreed that if one of us gets fired we both walk. theres no way kruz would let both of us go
catz: oh god what a terrible plan. i cant have two housemates without incomes. tay please dont do this to me
tay: ok but only for u
ze: anyways !! back on track. I would feel so much better if could hear (see) confirmation from the horses mouths re coming to trivia
shadow: g is going.
ze: hmm closer to the mouth but still a bit off. perhaps I would call that from the donkey’s mouth
shadow: we flipped a coin to see who would have to be on the team. g is going to be there to take over if its too lame.
d20: also speedy will literally kill any of us if we dont at least show up for a bit
legion: yeah i'll try my best but maybe don't rely too heavily on that fact
ze: i guess that is as good as I’m gonna get
ze: team autism break
tay: excuse you. our team name is the group chat name
ze: when did we decide on that?
tay: kruz asked if we had a team name so i said it was that
catz: look a conversation would have been nice but ill be honest i think that tay's one is a better plan. for u know in public spaces and such
ze: fine fine. but I'm making it known when we're there that i am not a doug funnie fan
slack: dude what did doug ever do to you
pokemon go to the tbd ( moo, speedy, pete, sidearms, d4, wildcat, dyl, ty, nogla, terroriser, puffer, eli )
moo: that motherfucker
wildcat: what did nogla do this time?
moo: he spilt orange juice on My computer and didn't tell me
puffer: dont u have a really expensive pc?
moo: …
puffer: i'll take that as a yes
ty: not to sound insensitive but u do know that this is a chat primarily for pokemon go discussions yeah ?
dyl: well you sure failed at not sounding insensitive
ty: stfu meat cradle
dyl: remember the conversation we had about that not being a pet name that is good at all
ty: I thought we agreed it was good for special occasions
dyl: hmmm. i think we came out of that situation with very different conclusions - plus in what world would this count as a special occasion ?
puffer: jesus christ. now I miss the fkn boyfriend drama
moo: u calling nogla my boyfriend is probably the worse thing u have ever done
wildcat: also the funniest
puffer: is it not a true fact ?
Moo: christ yeah it is but right now sie is my worst enemey
dyl: a bit of a sliding scale thing I get it
nogla: well ofc u would meat cradle
moo: and now This is when you show up
wildcat: never say nogla is one to miss out on comedic timing – despite it being bad for personal relationships
terroriser: you could even say that makes it all the more appealing
chilled & ze
chilled: flash
ze: thunder
ze: whats up babe?
chilled: krusty has roped me into trivia
ze: wow you are so fucking easy to convince
chilled: u cant act even a little surprised?
ze: I could but I just didnt want to
chilled: not even for me :’(
ze: okay okay. Wow !! I cant believe kruz could sway u like that, how did xe do it?
chilled: now thats more like it
chilled: and how xe did it…. Well that will be a mystery for the ages
ze: just texted her. she promised to have speedy throw a yugioh question in there
chilled: shucks. the secret is out
chilled: wait did u even have to bribe her for that information??
ze: no xe was very willing to give it to me
chilled: hmmm. That will definitely have to be brought up sooner with her sooner rather than later
ze: what team are u on btw?
chilled: you know what,, I don’t even know
ze: god, you’re such a mess
chilled: and despite that you still love me
ze: more like I love you because of it
chilled: you big sap
ze: not bigger than you
chilled: that cannot be proven in any court of law
The Crew ( speedy, side, g, shadow, d4, d20 )
speedy: ok who saw the last love is blind episode bc hot damn!
d4: I dont know how many times we all have to tell you this but literally none of us watch that shit
speedy: not even after my raving reviews :(
d20: especially not even then
speedy: keep up with this kind of attitude and I’m gonna start lashing out
shadow: I watched it
g: ???
shadow: yeah. remember almost nothing. the odd guy was a bit of fun tho.
d4: implying there was just one singular odd guy on a blind dating show is fucking nuts
d4: also? you watched it?? you heard speedys fucking ramblings and decided to go and watch it on your own
shadow: I mean tay put it on and I was there. It was ok.
g: and thats a rave review from shadow tbh
toast creates group
toast adds (chilled, marcel, trevor, eli, smitty)
toast names group winners pov ( toast, chilled, marcel, trevor, eli, smitty )
toast: holy shit !!! can u believe !!!?
marcel: honestly no. no I cannot believe it
trevor: bros!!! we should get brunch to celebrate!
marcel: its 3pm
toast: they probably didn’t mean today
trevor: why did u make this chat? We have already won. That happened yesterday and I know you know this
toast: hey watch it! I was defending u like two seconds ago
eli: lmao
toast: no loyalty here I tell u
smitty: no way! the team that was cobbled together last minute has no loyalty to each other. thats crazy
marcel: and especially now that the reason we were put together has finished
smitty: unless u were thinking we go pro?
marcel: lol
toast: well we definitely could
chilled: I very much agree!
marcel: ofc thats when chilled joins the convo
chilled: good morning to u too marcel
marcel: it feels crazy to have to say this again. But its three fucking pm
chilled: well im taking those niceties back
marcel: well good bc they dont even apply
eli: ok I think thats enough of that
trevor: so brunch? Tomorrow maybe ?
smitty: I guess so. I mean that is what sunday is for
marcel: yes of course. Thats what sunday is famously known for.
smitty: thanks for the back up
chilled: I can do brunch. Can ze come?
toast: no! ze was not on the winning team now was he?
chilled: …. no he was not
toast: so no. ze is not invited to brunch
eli: no one is allergic to cats right ?
eli: bc if not catz works at a cat cafe that is a pretty nice time
chilled: how poetic
smitty: its really not. That fucker is lucky ve had money saved up bc ve looked away from way too many opportunity for the fucking “opportunity” of working at a cat cafe
chilled: looks like it worked out though
smitty: I would like to murder you with my bear fists
marcel: just ignore chilled. you know hy likes to fuck with people
trevor: seems like this brunch is going to be a blast! :)
kruz & tay
kruz: have u noticed that toast has been acting really nice for the last couple of days. Some might even call it considerate
tay: oh yeah haha
kruz: when I say that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting I mean it
tay: i was going to tell u but I just found the whole thing too funny to disturb
kruz: ??
tay: so remember like a couple of weeks ago when they were being pissy about literally everything and threatening to move out for no reason
kruz: kinda
tay: well apparently that was their attempt to ‘threaten the foundation of our relationship’
kruz: lmfao wat
tay: at least thats how chilled explained it to me. either of them could have come up with that phrase tbh
kruz: two of our most dramatic friends for sure
tay: and thats saying something
kruz: wait hold up a sec tho. chilled was in on this too? and also what exactly was this?
tay: nah chilled heard from shubble that they were attempting to break us up.
tay: and then I got an update from hym that hy got from shub that toast was now happy for us and trying to earn our forgiveness
kruz: I cant even comprehend how stupid all of that is
tay: oh so fucking stupid
tay: but also very funny
kruz: hey sry about this but gotta get off my phone. wildcat is giving me a death stare
tay: oh I didnt realise u were with him right this second lol. I thought the two of u were meeting up later
kruz: well to do what we’re doing then it is very necessary for us to meet earlier
tay: thats a good point. I guess I just thought xe would find a person and you would just show up lol
kruz: the last time I gave him free reign to choose a threesome buddy xe showed up with nogla
tay: please tell me you have hooked up with nogla. Thats so fucking funny
kruz: god no. we made out for like ten minutes but both him and I kept cracking up. we are the opposite of attracted to each other
tay: which u would think tyler would know
kruz: oh xe sooo knew. xe had the biggest shit eating grin when I got there
tay: lmao
kruz: ok ok goodbye for real. See u tomorrow babe
tay: byeee. have funn !!