Chapter Text
This was it. Harry’s first day.
It felt strange being back after a year spent running, hiding, and hunting Horcruxes. Hogwarts still bore the scars of the final battle, cracked stone, repaired walls that didn’t quite match, and an emptiness where too many familiar faces should have been.
Everyone had expected him to become an Auror, given his experience and undeniable talent in combat, but he was done fighting. He had fought his entire life, and hopefully, he would never have to again.
It had come as a surprise when he received a letter offering him a position as a professor, especially considering he hadn’t even graduated. McGonagall, however, had been firm: if he could teach as a student, then he could teach as a professor. The fact that he would be teaching people he’d gone to school with or had even been friends with, had been regretfully ignored until it was far too late to change his mind.
Youngest Hogwarts professor ever.
Harry took a deep breath as he approached the gates. He could have used the Floo Network, but it had always been his least favourite method of travel, he far too often ended up somewhere strange.
Instead, he had Apparated to Hogsmeade and walked from there. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t drawing out the moment he’d have to see his former teachers again or worse, see the places of those lost in the battle quietly filled. At least he had a week before the students arrived. McGonagall wanted the staff present early to help rebuild.
Upon entering the castle, he was immediately greeted by the Headmistress.
“There you are. I was beginning to worry you might have changed your mind,” she said, smiling warmly. “I’m glad my worry was unfounded. It’s good to see you, Potter.”
Harry smiled back. “I nearly did, but I couldn’t let you down. It’s good to see you too.”
After their short reunion, McGonagall gave him a brief tour, showing him what had changed, his new quarters, areas he’d never been allowed to see as a student, and finally, the staff lounge.
It felt strange entering the room as a teacher rather than a pupil. The space was fairly simple and quite spacious, furnished with couches, comfortable chairs, and several tables. To his surprise, there was even a coffee machine. He hadn’t known wizards used them, but it was certainly fortunate for his caffeine addiction.
He looked around again and froze.
Snape was sitting on one of the couches, staring into nothing.
Harry hadn’t expected Snape to return to Hogwarts after the battle. He wasn’t prepared to see him again. In a flash, he remembered his professor bleeding out in front of him. He forced the image away.
He had no idea what to say. They had never gotten along, had even hated each other. Harry had once believed Snape a traitor, only to learn he was the bravest man he had ever known.
How could he apologise for calling him a coward? How could he thank him for everything he had done?
So he said nothing.
He just stared.
“Are you planning to stand there gawping at me indefinitely,” Snape drawled, “or do you intend to speak, Potter?”
Harry flinched, dragged abruptly from his thoughts. “Er- sorry. Hello, Professor. I just… wasn’t expecting you to be here.”
He braced himself for a sharp remark, but instead Snape merely said, “My apologies for the disappointment. There was nowhere else for me to go.”
Well. That was… bleak.
“No, sir- that’s not what I meant,” Harry said quickly. “I’m… I’m glad to see you.”
For the first time, Snape actually looked at him.
“Really? I was under the impression I would be the one person you would prefer never to encounter again.”
Harry had no idea how to respond, but Snape seemed to sense it and spared him the struggle. “Do sit down.”
Harry obeyed.
“So,” Snape said, “what brings the Saviour of the Wizarding World back to school as a teacher? I had understood you intended to become an Auror.”
Harry shrugged. “I probably would’ve. Fighting is honestly the only thing I really know how to do. But I’m just… tired of it, you know? I was close to living off the family fortune and sitting around all day wondering what to do now that I’ve fulfilled my ‘purpose.’” He made air quotes.
Snape nodded, conjured a duplicate of his tea, and handed it to Harry.
“To the loss of our usefulness,” he said.
They raised their cups and drank, only for Harry to immediately cough his lungs out.
“Merlin, what’s in this?”
Snape merely shrugged and took another sip.
McGonagall stared at them, flabbergasted. “For Merlin’s sake, what is wrong with you two? What are you even talking about? Both of you are a very important part of this school, and we are happy to have you here! Now stop this… whatever it is.”
Surprisingly, Harry and Snape got along rather well, even if Snape could be bleak and uncomfortable at times.
“Potter, I never really hated you. You know that, right?”
Harry hadn’t expected him to speak. They were in the staff lounge again. Harry had arrived hours earlier, Snape had ignored his greeting, so conversation had been the last thing Harry expected.
“…Okay?”
“It was an act,” Snape continued, “for the benefit of both our roles in the war. A rather difficult one, given your remarkable similarity to your mother.”
Harry carefully looked up at his former professor. “Then how about we start again? This time without the acts.” He lifted his hand. “Hi. You can call me Harry.”
Snape accepted the handshake with a faint smile. “And you may call me Severus.”
Harry was just about to return to his task when he heard Snape mutter, “Though this does not change the fact that your hair and glasses looked utterly idiotic.”
Harry paused, then turned back to see Snape smirking, without any malice.
Harry laughed, much to Snape’s surprise.
The next time Harry saw him, however, was… unexpected.
Snape was wearing Muggle clothes. That alone was strange, but the shirt he wore was absurd.
“What in Merlin’s name are you wearing?”
Snape didn’t look up. “My usual robes were old and reminded me of my various failures. I acquired a few items from the laundry room. I doubt they will be missed. This one proclaims, ‘What’s up, beaches?’ Instead of bitches, a humorous alteration, I believe.”
Harry stared. “But… you hate humour.”
Snape sipped his suspicious coffee. “Well, I am something of a joke now, so it seems appropriate.”
“Right… okay,” Harry muttered, and fled.
This behaviour soon became the new normal.
Harry wasn’t even surprised anymore when, during a quiet evening walk, something drifted straight into him. Snape floated aimlessly through the corridor.
“Oops. Apologies. I cannot even float correctly. Do feel free to push me aside. Everyone else does.”
Harry desperately hoped this phase would end before the students arrived.
It didn’t, but Snape’s wardrobe did, thankfully returning to dull black robes.
The first few weeks of teaching were hell.
Everyone knew him. Many of the older students struggled to respect him as an authority figure. Some of them were his friends. It was exhausting.
After another long day of being called Harry instead of Professor, he collapsed onto a couch in the staff lounge.
“Long day?”
Harry jumped. “Who said that?”
“Down here.”
He looked behind the couch. “Severus? What are you doing on the floor?”
Snape shrugged. “Attempting to sink as low as my self-respect.”
Harry wasn’t even surprised anymore. He was still thankful that the man got up to sit beside him rather than behind him. “What has reduced you to this state?”
“Being the youngest professor Hogwarts has ever had is harder than I thought. Some of the students are my friends. They respect my authority about as much as you respect yourself.”
Snape nodded thoughtfully. “I remember being in your shoes. It sucks. You must become stricter. You cannot be their friend. Children are bloodhounds, they smell insecurity from miles away. Don’t show weakness. Take points. Give detention. Filch is remarkably effective.”
Harry smiled politely, knowing he would never do that, but maybe Snape was right about one thing. He couldn’t be their friend and teacher at the same time. He had to show authority and keep his work and private life separate.
“Thanks,” Harry said. “That actually helped.”
A few days later, Harry went to ask for more advice on being the youngest professor and found Snape sitting at his desk.
“Er… are you grading essays?” Harry asked.
“No,” Snape replied. “I am contemplating the structural integrity of this wall.”
Harry blinked. “Why?”
“It has a clear purpose,” Snape murmured. “It supports something. I do not.”
Not again.
Trying to be helpful, Harry said, “The Students really like you and rely on your amazing lessons.”
And it was true Snape wasn’t nearly as strict as he had been before. He allowed most things, claiming it might “assist a student in discovering their purpose”.
“That is unfortunate,” Snape said.
So much for positivity.
At least it can’t get worse than this Harry thought.
“I accidentally greeted myself in the mirror today,” Snape said darkly. Harry frowned. “And then?” “I startled myself. The mirror startled me in return. I interpreted hostility and responded accordingly.” “You… fought your own reflection?” “It struck first.” “The reflection did not strike first,” Harry said flatly. “Emotionally, it did,” Snape insisted.
Harry sighed. Perhaps he’d ask for advice another time. On the other hand, he had gotten useful advice when the man was in a similar state…
“I was just wondering if you had any advice on how to get the other teachers to see me as one of them instead of a student.”
“You don’t.” Snape looked at him sincerely, maybe a bit of pity.
Harry couldn’t say he wasn’t disappointed by that. “Believe me, if they ever taught you, they will forever see you as a student. Even if you’re thirty-eight and have worked with them for years.”
Harry couldn’t believe Severus still struggled with that. It was almost funny… if Harry ignored the fact that he would probably have a similar fate.
“So there is nothing I can do?”
Snape shook his head. “Nope.”
Harry sighed. “You could try to get the worst ones fired, but that usually ends with only yourself in trouble. At least, in my experience.”
Harry laughed. “You tried that?”
Snape nodded. “Some of those teachers were really messing with my reputation,” he said, and joined the laughter.
It never failed to amaze Harry to see his former teacher laughing or smiling. Not long ago, it had actually seemed impossible. Ron had even come up with the theory that Snape had accidentally made an Unbreakable Vow as a child to never smile again.
“It helps to change your appearance a bit. Helping your colleagues also helps, especially if you make yourself the person they start to rely on. If they constantly ask you for help, they will start seeing you as more than a former student,” Snape added after a while.
It made sense. Harry gave him a thankful smile while leaving. “Thank you, Professor. I really appreciate it.”
The door fell shut behind him, so Harry never heard Snape say, “We never truly stop seeing each other as student and teacher,” with a fond smile.
It wasn’t long before Snape sought Harry’s advice in return. It was a Monday, and Harry was in the middle of a Defence lesson.
“…It’s also important to believe in your ability and to imagine what you want to do in order to properly-” The classroom door opened, and Severus Snape entered.
“I need your help,” he said, quickly walking up to Harry, who was already prepared to drop everything to help with whatever was so urgent. He waited for Snape to explain…
“Tell me, what is it about me that screams loser?”
Harry couldn’t believe his ears. “What? You know I’m kind of in the middle of a lesson right now,” he said, glancing at the stunned students.
Snape looked at him with sudden realisation. “Oh, how thoughtless of me. I’ll ask the question again for everyone.”
Harry was at a loss for words. “Oh, no, that’s—”
“Hello,” Snape continued calmly. “The question was: what is it about me that screams loser?”
The students seemed just as confused as Harry. One student slowly raised a hand.
“Don’t answer that!” Harry said quickly, and the student immediately lowered their hand again.
Harry grabbed Snape by the sleeve and dragged him out into the corridor.
“What was that?” Harry demanded.
Snape, however, didn’t seem to understand the problem.
“Look,” Harry said, trying to stay calm, “you can’t just interrupt a lesson like that. Just wait thirty minutes until I’m finished, and then you can tell me all about whatever is going on with you right now, okay?”
“Very well,” Snape replied. “I am sorry for interrupting.“
“It’s okay,” Harry sighed. “Just don’t ask any more students any of your depressing questions.”
——————————————
Today was a bad day.
Harry had barely slept, plagued by nightmares. He couldn’t stop thinking about the war—about all the people he had failed, all the people who were disappointed by his decision to become a professor instead of an Auror, and everything they had said about his wasted talent.
It was a small mercy that he didn’t have any lessons today.
He dragged himself sleepily into the teachers’ lounge. “Morning,” he muttered, his cold tone earning a few concerned looks.
Snape was sitting on the couch, drinking his strange tea yet again. Harry grabbed a coffee and joined the Potions Master.
“You look worse than me,” Snape observed.
“Thanks,” Harry replied flatly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Harry said. “I kept thinking about all the people I failed. They call me the Saviour of the Wizarding World, but I failed so many and it’s not even like the world is alright now. There’s still so much chaos, and I’m just sitting around doing nothing.”
“You feel like you lost your purpose again?” Snape asked.
“Yep.”
“I hear you,” Snape said. “I was planning to make some mud face masks today, if you want to join me.”
“I thought you hated mud.”
“I do,” Snape replied, “but I like how it masks my shame.”
Harry snorted. “Sure. I’m in.”
McGonagall chose that moment to look at them, visibly irritated. “Get yourselves together and have some self-respect! No one should have to hear your whining. You are adults, you can do whatever you want, and you don’t need some grand ‘purpose.’ None of us ever had someone tell us what our supposed ‘purpose’ was, so stop this right now. You have both accomplished so much, and it’s a shame you cannot see that. Now go eat something. I don’t want to hear any complaints anymore and don’t you dare do this in front of students again!”
“Yes, ma’am,” Harry and Snape replied simultaneously, before fleeing the room.
“We’re not actually going to eat something, are we?” Harry asked once they were gone.
“No,” Snape said. “Like I said, I already have plans for today. But she has a point. You’ve done more than enough for other people. You’re the Boy Who Lived, it’s time you finally live for yourself instead of everybody else.”
Harry was a bit taken back, it’s been a while since someone had told him something this nice. Before Harry could stop himself he hugged his former teacher. Snape stiffened in surprise, then hugged him back.
“Only if you try to find something that actually makes you happy in this life as well,” Harry said quietly. “The self-loathing is starting to annoy even the students.”
They both laughed.
“Maybe tomorrow,” Snape said. “I was actually looking forward to using that mud. It was way too expensive to go to waste.”