Chapter Text
Saturday, 7:58 a.m.
Welcome to Polydactyl — Where Many Become One
Username: GuildNavigator3849270493
Password: ****************************
Welcome, GuildNavigator3849270493
You have (1) VideoCule invitation. Accept?
Your VideoCule will start in 1 minute. Have an ethically non-monogamous day!
John groaned. Having a video meeting at 8 a.m. on Saturday was bad enough, but somehow or another wires had been crossed, and rather than using actual videoconferencing software, they were meeting on a polyamorous dating site. He had to talk to Ads about cyber security at some point.
Okay, having a video meeting on Saturday at 8 a.m. on a poly dating site was bad enough, but even worse was that the other members of his team had the audacity to be late to sign on.
“Fuck this, I gotta take a piss,” he grumbled, got up from his chair, and exited his home office.
Joining the ‘Cule: DogMom67845023948204893
Joining the ‘Cule: EH230823928490242
“Whoops, looks like we lost John. Where’s Chris?” Adebayo glanced at herself in the camera and fixed her hair.
“Probably still in bed,” Harcourt said with a shrug. “No sleepovers last night. Hey, did you know that this is a hookup site for polycules?”
“I do now…” she replied, sheepishly. “But in my defense, it was free! And I thought it was a reference to the cats with all the toes! Cute, right?”
“Yeah, I guess, but… What the hell?”
An unexpected but familiar person peeked into what must be Economos’ home office. “Hey, John?” A gasp was heard, then the camera filled up with aviator frames and a maniacal grin.
“Heeeyyyyyy, Ads and Harcourt! It’s me, Adrian!”
“Hey, Adrian!” Adebayo greeted, trying to hide her shock.
Harcourt didn’t even try. “What the hell,” she repeated, eyebrows raised.
“Oh, I wanted to tell you, I’m not mad at you any more, not even you, Harcourt.” Adrian said. “I’m mad at Chris forever, though, but don’t tell him that.”
“Wait, why would you be mad at me?” Harcourt asked, then shook her head. “Never mind, I don’t care.”
Adrian’s eyes scanned the screen. “Oh, hey, is this Polydactyl? I have an account on here! Ooh, send me a friend request, I’m Infernape8473038403!” He frowned. “But why are you guys on here? Are you dating John t—“
“Adrian, what the fuck?” John loomed over Adrian’s shoulder in the background. Then the screen went black as he flipped the cover over the camera lens.
“What are you doing in my office? I told you I had a meeting!”
DogMom67845023948204893: @EH230823928490242 if you tell them they’re not muted I’ll have you killed
EH230823928490242: @DogMom67845023948204893 Don’t worry *popcorn emoji*
DogMom67845023948204893: @EH230823928490242 was that bedhead
DogMom67845023948204893: @EH230823928490242 oh god or sex hair
EH230823928490242: @DogMom67845023948204893 eugh
“You didn’t tell me who with!”
“Who else would I be having a meeting with? It’s a work meeting!”
“I don’t know… the Pope? The Joker? John Hamm?”
“Why would I be having a meeting with any of those people?”
“I don’t know, but you could, and that’s the point! Also, if you’re dating Ads and Harcourt, I should also get a meeting invite. I have an account already and everything! I just gave my handle to them, they’ll give it to you.”
“I’m not dating — wait, why do you have an account on there?”
“I thought it might be easier to date groups. I was wrong.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine it would be. But no, this is just a regular work meeting. I don’t know why it’s on a dating site. And please delete your account.”
“As long as you’re not using it to hang out without me…”
“I promise I’m not. What are you doing up?”
“Oh! That’s why I was looking for you. I have to go; I need to get ready for work.”
“But I thought you had today off!”
“I did, but Braden called in.”
“That’s the third time this month; Braden needs to get his shit together.”
“Brenna told me that she thinks he called in because he went out drinking with Mackenzie last night after close.”
“Isn’t she the one that’s dating Line Cook Larry?”
“Uhhhh huuuuhhh… It’s super-messy.”
“Damn. What about our plans today?”
“It’s only a lunch shift, I promise. I’ll be done by like 2 or 2:30, then I’ll come right over and get ready, and we can go to the thing.”
“Okay, but don’t let them talk you into picking up a dinner shift, okay?”
“I won’t.”
There was some rustling.
“I’ll see you this afternoon, then.”
“Yeah, bye!”
A few moments later, John appeared on the screen as the lens cover opened. He looked flustered.
“Sorry about that, it was… Yeah, sorry.”
Adebayo grinned. “So, Adrian is there early, huh?”
John blushed. “Yeah, we… we were playing Magic last night, and it got late, and he crashed here.” He looked away from the screen and scratched the back of his head. “Can we just get started? I don’t want to be here all day. I think my laptop is catching herpes.”
GuildNavigator3849270493: @DogMom67845023948204893 I’m not talking about this right now.
DogMom67845023948204893: @GuildNavigator3849270493 *coffee emoji* after?
GuildNavigator3849270493: @DogMom67845023948204893 Ugh, fine
“We’re still waiting on Chris,” Harcourt said, rolling her eyes.
“Aren’t you his keeper or something?” John asked, exasperated.
“He’s a grown man, I don’t need to be his mom! Oh, here we go.”
Joining the ‘Cule: NikkiSexxx6969696969
Chris’ big square head filled the screen.
“Sorry I’m late, I don’t really want to be here. This is stupid. We all live in the same town. What are you guys talking about?”
“Nothing,” chorused the other three.