Work Text:
KARKAT: HEY DAVE.
KARKAT: DAVE.
KARKAT: BRO.
DAVE: woah man i hear you
DAVE: no need to snap in my face like that
KARKAT: YOU’VE BEEN OUT OF IT ALL DAY.
KARKAT: WHAT’S GOING ON.
DAVE: just thinking
DAVE: about like
DAVE: childhood stuff
DAVE: no big deal
KARKAT: IS IT ONE OF THE THINGS I KNOW ABOUT,
KARKAT: OR SOMETHING YOU REFUSE TO TELL ME.
DAVE: do we have to get into it
DAVE: im fine man
DAVE: at least pause the show
KARKAT: SHOW’S PAUSED, SPILL IT ASSHOLE.
DAVE: fuck that was like
DAVE: rhetorical
DAVE: or whatever lalondian word would fit
KARKAT: TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG.
DAVE: goddamnit
DAVE: ok its like some bullshit im not over yet wow whos shocked
DAVE: but like
DAVE: bros stupid ideals of masculinity
DAVE: constantly proving that i am a real man or whatever
DAVE: and i guess part of me still feels like im not
DAVE: i know its just my shitty hypermasculine childhood and that im not like anything i thought id be at this age
DAVE: and im sure as hell not the kind of man hed want me to be
DAVE: but its stupid that im letting him affect me on this front of all things
KARKAT: ...
DAVE: dont look at me like that
DAVE: i told you it was stupid
KARKAT: DAVE.
KARKAT: ARE YOU SURE THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOUR HUMAN LUSUS.
DAVE: ok you keep calling him that and im sure its entirely to piss me off
DAVE: that aside
DAVE: what else could it even be
KARKAT: DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE NOT A MAN BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT MASCULINE ENOUGH, OR IS IT BECAUSE YOU AREN’T A MAN?
DAVE: what are you saying
DAVE: are you asking if im like
DAVE: trans or something like that
KARKAT: IS THAT THE WORD HUMANS USE?
DAVE: no look
DAVE: im not a girl either
DAVE: im pretty positive about that one
KARKAT: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER?
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: i dunno
DAVE: i am a man its just that i never feel like one
DAVE: but im fine with being called he or whatever
DAVE: i think its just because of bro
DAVE: blame another stupid little thing on him why not
KARKAT: THIS ISN’T STUPID.
KARKAT: YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SOME SHIT AND I’M TRYING TO HELP.
KARKAT: DO YOU THINK I’M A MAN?
DAVE: i mean yeah
KARKAT: EVEN THOUGH I LIKE ROMANCE MOVIES, WHICH, TO MY UNDERSTANDING, ARE TYPICALLY FOR GIRLS?
KARKAT: AND I PREFER TO SETTLE SHIT THROUGH TALKING AND NOT VIOLENCE?
DAVE: ok i see what you mean
DAVE: thats different though
DAVE: i dont feel like this because im into cheesy girl stuff or i dont like fighting
DAVE: ive felt like this since i lived with bro
KARKAT: SO FOR MOST OF YOUR LIFE?
DAVE: i guess
KARKAT: SO WHY DON’T YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN?
KARKAT: LIKE HOW DO YOU FEEL INSTEAD.
DAVE: i dunno how to describe it
DAVE: just this deep feeling
DAVE: i guess its different from my usual “im messed up and a failure because of shit bro did
DAVE: but
DAVE: ...
KARKAT: ...
DAVE: ...
DAVE: oh fuck
KARKAT: HMMMMM??
DAVE: dont get smug like that
DAVE: you were maybe right about one thing
KARKAT: WHICH WAS????
DAVE: that i might not be a man
KARKAT: I’M RIGHT AGAIN.
KARKAT: WHO’S SURPRISED?
KARKAT: NO ONE.
DAVE: ok fuck
DAVE: save your i told you so sass for later
DAVE: cuz a lot of shit is making sense now and i need to unpack this
KARKAT: GONNA TREAT ME TO A STRIDER SOLILOQUY?
KARKAT: THIS TIME ABOUT THE INTRACACIES OF YOUR GENDER IDENTITY AND HOW THIS HAS ACTUALLY BEEN PEPPERED THROUGHOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
KARKAT: “oh geez why didnt i realize this sooner”
KARKAT: “its a good thing i have karkat behind me to help me figure my shit out”
KARKAT: “i love my matesprit *sooo* much i have no idea what id do without him
DAVE: im like actually trying to think hush
DAVE: ...
DAVE: okay thinking over
KARKAT: ANYTHING NEW TO SAY?
KARKAT: OR SHOULD I KEEP DOING MY IMPRESSION OF YOU?
DAVE: man ill come up with some stupid shit to say just so you dont do that
DAVE: im trying to think about like
DAVE: names or pronouns or whatever else changes when you have a realization like this
DAVE: im attached to dave at this point its mine
DAVE: and i kind of dont care if im still called he or whatever
DAVE: but i guess i also dont really care if im called otherwise
DAVE: does that still make me a man
KARKAT: NO, ASSHOLE.
DAVE: hey
KARKAT: YOU CAN STILL LIKE YOUR NAME AND NOT BE A GUY.
KARKAT: THE IMPORTANT PART IS NOT FEELING LIKE A GUY IN GENERAL.
DAVE: im surprised trolls would have such elaborate knowledge of this stuff
DAVE: feels like
DAVE: kind of a humany thing
KARKAT: TROLLS DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT GENDER.
KARKAT: I THINK HUMANS ONLY DO BECAUSE OF YOUR GROSS WAYS OF REPRODUCTION.
KARKAT: JUST LIKE HOW YOU HAVE A WHOLE WEIRD THING ABOUT BEING GAY OR WHATEVER THE FUCK.
KARKAT: WHEN, FRANKLY, HOW DO YOU HAVE THE ENERGY TO CARE ABOUT ANY KIND OF BULLSHIT TO THAT EXTENT.
KARKAT: YOU’RE STILL DAVE, UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME, IN WHICH CASE YOU’D BE WHATEVER NAME YOU PICK.
KARKAT: THAT’S WHAT MATTERS TO ME.
DAVE: thanks dude
DAVE: i probably need to like
DAVE: tell everyone
DAVE: but also whatd even be the point
DAVE: not like im gonna change myself too hard
DAVE: just get myself out of my constant idea of how to be masculine
DAVE: cuz i guess i dont need to do that anymore
DAVE: i feel like id heard a word for this a while ago but i cant remember
KARKAT: HELL IF I KNOW YOUR BULLSHIT HUMANS TERMS FOR NORMAL TROLL THINGS.
DAVE: i guess ill tell june first
DAVE: considering
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: urgh my heart is racing now
KARKAT: YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ANYONE RIGHT AWAY, YOU KNOW.
KARKAT: IF IT’D MAKE YOU MORE COMFORTABLE, THEN DO IT, BUT DON’T PUSH YOURSELF.
KARKAT: AND I KNOW, IF THAT’S WORTH ANYTHING.
DAVE: yeah i think
DAVE: thanks
DAVE: i mean for everything
DAVE: for letting me talk so much and only being slightly mean about it
KARKAT: WE’RE BROS, MAN.
KARKAT: PART OF BRO CODE IS THAT YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO EACH OTHER’S BULLSHIT RAMBLES.
KARKAT: OR MATESPRIT CODE, OR BOYFRIEND CODE, OR WHATEVER.
DAVE: heh yeah
DAVE: still
DAVE: i guess im at a point in strider’s learning how to express their emotions like a human where i can show appreciation for people and not feel weird about it
DAVE: shame i gotta do this so around other people
DAVE: but of all people to do this around im glad youre one of them
KARKAT: YEAH.
KARKAT: AND IN YOUR OWN STRIDERIAN WAY, YOU LISTEN TO MY BULLSHIT AND SHOW YOU CARE TOO.
KARKAT: I’M SHOWING GRATITUDE BACK.
DAVE: shit man youre gonna make me blush
DAVE: and youre the one who helped me out here
DAVE: dammit okay feelings talk over
DAVE: where were we in the show
KARKAT: HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO PROPOSE, BUT THEN HER SISTER ANNOUNCED HER PREGNANCY......