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"Rehabilitation for DSPD patients includes acceptance of the condition and choosing a career that allows late sleeping times or running a home business with flexible hours."
Shadow had read and heard those words so often by now that it wasn't even funny. Every doctor he'd been to had told him some version of it, essentially shrugging and saying "That sucks, but there's nothing anyone can do about it."
He'd given up on medication. Melatonin had worked the best, but he'd had to take a high dosage every night, which would end up being worse for him in the long run. While he'd been taking it, he'd fallen asleep at the regular time of ten, and woken up at seven. It was shockingly nice, and he got to wake up in time to see Sonic off for work. Unfortunately, within a week of going off of the medicine, his circadian rhythm had gone right back to 3AM bedtimes.
It wasn't a huge deal. He'd dealt with this his whole life, and could function on very little sleep. Being the Ultimate Lifeform had its perks, sometimes. But other times, he wondered if he was just pushing himself to and past the brink of exhaustion, forcing himself to keep going because he couldn't afford to be anything less than perfect. If he wasn't perfect, he didn't deserve the title of the Ultimate Lifeform.
Still, going to bed at three in the morning and waking up at seven wasn't enjoyable.
He shifted in bed, grumbling quietly as he tugged at the blanket. It didn't move, probably trapped underneath Sonic, who was lying next to him. Shadow gave up and rolled over, shivering as he looked at the digital clock on his nightstand: 2:14AM.
The dark hedgehog stood and stretched, running a bare hand through his quills to fix them. Not that anyone would see them at this ungodly hour, but that wasn't the point. He padded his way into the living room and grabbed a blanket from the couch, briefly considering trying to sleep there. Maybe the change in environment would help?
Shaking his head, Shadow returned to his and Sonic's room. The blue hedgehog had moved, his quills now scattered in a cloud-like shape behind his head. Most of them were resting on Shadow's pillow, making him sigh quietly. He loved Sonic with all of his soul, but sometimes... Shadow just wanted to punch him.
I should've tried the couch, he thought dryly to himself, carefully extracting his pillow from underneath his partner's quills. He laid down carefully, doing his best to not disturb Sonic as he covered himself with the extra blanket. He didn't feel tired at all. Perhaps he would soon, but for the time being, he took to staring at the ceiling and tracing out lines and patterns that didn't exist.
The dark hedgehog had tried all of the exercises recommended to him by doctors and specialists– from no caffeine at all (which sucked, he loved coffee) to no screens before bed, even trying something called light therapy, where he put a lamp in his face to try and reset his sleep schedule. None of it did anything but irritate him, so he played the waiting game instead.
Next to him, Sonic rolled over. His eyes opened, staring at Shadow in the dark room, blurry and unfocused. "Still awake?"
The dark hedgehog nodded, fingers folded on his chest as he stared straight upwards, avoiding Sonic's eyes. If they didn't make eye contact, his partner wouldn't see the shame he was feeling.
Sonic sighed quietly. "I'm sorry, Shadow," he murmured, sounding mournful.
"I know," the dark hedgehog replied softly, blinking slowly. Still no sleepiness. He felt just as awake and alert as usual, which was normally a good thing. Right now, though, it wasn't. He certainly wouldn't feel like this in five hours, when he had to get up. "Go back to sleep, love."
The blue hedgehog hummed. "Let's get up," he suggested, catching Shadow off guard. Sonic giggled, sitting up and yawning. "I'll make you some food. I know you get hungry when you can't sleep."
Shadow opened his mouth to protest right as his stomach growled, proving him wrong. He rolled his eyes but stood, cursing his biology not for the first time. "Okay," he said, padding towards the kitchen and flipping a dim, overhead light on. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Sonic replied, following him and blearily rubbing his eyes, blinking in the light. "For blinding me? You're forgiven."
The dark hedgehog chuckled hollowly. "For making you get up with me. You have to get up in a few hours."
"So do you," Sonic shot back, grabbing two glasses from the cupboard and filling them with water. He handed one to Shadow and kept the other for himself, taking a sip. "And I got up by myself. I could've just gone back to sleep, but I chose not to."
He began digging through one of the cabinets, pulling out a box of macaroni and cheese, one where you put the noodles in boiling water, add cheese powder, and bam! Instant midnight snack.
"...why?" Shadow finally asked, leaning against the countertop and watching Sonic make the food. "I really appreciate it, but you need to sleep, love. I can make the food." He reached for the wooden spoon that the blue hedgehog was using to stir the noodles, only for his hand to be smacked with the box.
"Recycle that," Sonic demanded, a teasing smile on his face. "I'm making us food. And stop pretending like you don't also need sleep, Shads."
Shadow began breaking the box down, tearing it apart at the seams and flattening it. "Yes, but I've gotten used to it," he argued, carefully tossing the box into the recycling bin. "You're going to be a mess tomorrow," he said affectionately, walking up behind Sonic and wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on the blue hedgehog's shoulder. The oddly sweet smell of unseasoned (un-cheesed?) noodles rose from the pan, growing strong with every swipe of the spoon.
"I'm a mess everyday," Sonic countered, his head leaning against Shadow's.
"True," the dark hedgehog agreed, laughing when Sonic turned his head and frowned at him. "What? You said it."
"You're not supposed to agree," he grumbled, tearing the cheese powder packet open and dumping it into the mixture. He stirred it quickly, evenly distributing the cheese. "Can you get some bowls?"
Shadow reluctantly let go and grabbed two bowls from the cabinet, setting them on the countertop next to the pan. He also got a fork for himself and a spoon for Sonic– their preferred mac 'n cheese utensils.
A moment later, the blue hedgehog dumped a large helping into each bowl, leaving only a little bit left in the big pan. He grinned, snatching his bowl and walking over to the table, which was cluttered with papers. Papers that Shadow didn't even want to think about dealing with in the morning. It was mostly just junk, filled with advertisements and sales for stores he'd never been to. Sometimes, though, there would be important messages from G.U.N. that they couldn't just send in an email, apparently. He'd been reprimanded more than once for not responding to something they'd send exclusively via physical mail, so he tried to check it regularly.
Shadow joined his partner at the table, sitting at his right. The only noise that filled the room were the quiet sounds of them eating, the hum of the fridge, and sometimes the clink of silverware hitting the side of the bowl. The dark hedgehog was quite hungry; Sonic had been right. They ate dinner at a normal time for the blue hedgehog's sake, meaning Shadow would often eat at around six, then be awake for nine more hours. He tried not to snack, because apparently that made it harder to fall asleep.
Not that it mattered.
"It's very good," he said around a mouthful of noodles. "Thank you, Sonic."
"I worked pretty hard on it," the blue hedgehog replied sarcastically, but he grinned. There was a bit of cheese sauce on his upper lip, so Shadow wiped it off with a napkin. "But you're welcome," he continued. "I don't mind at all."
"I know, but I still feel bad," Shadow began to say. "I–"
"Ah," Sonic said, giving the dark hedgehog a warning look as he held up his spoon. "No apologizing. You know this isn't your fault, and there's nothing anyone can do about it, and that's okay." He eagerly scooped his utensil along the inside of the bowl, then frowned when he found that he was out. "I'm gonna get some more. Want any?"
"Sure," Shadow replied, gratefully handing his bowl over. While he waited, he twirled his fork in between his fingers, glancing at the clock on the stove– 2:46AM. He was starting to feel somewhat sleepy, which was a good sign. Sonic returned a moment later with the bowls, both with noticeably less in them.
"This is all that's left," he said sorrowfully, sitting back down with a huge yawn. "Let's try to go back to sleep after this, okay?" He eagerly stuffed his spoon back into the noodles, but the blue hedgehog was clearly losing steam.
Shadow nodded, finishing out his own bowl quickly, for Sonic's sake. He filled their dishes with water ("to soak", he told Sonic) and set them in the sink, leaving them to deal with another time. Once they crawled back into bed, it took almost no time before the blue hedgehog was curling up into Shadow's chest. "G'night, Shads," he mumbled, his voice rumbling against the dark hedgehog's sternum. "Love you."
"Love you too," Shadow responded, sensing the moment the blue hedgehog fell asleep just moments later. His side began rising and falling in slow, regular repetitions, his heartbeat softly thumping against Shadow's fur. The dark hedgehog pulled Sonic closer, intentionally matching his breathing.
Somehow, it helped. Sleepiness began washing over him, climbing its way up his body, starting with his feet and ending with the tips of his quills. They'd both have to get up in a few short hours, and he hadn't been kidding about Sonic being a mess. He wouldn't be surprised if the blue hedgehog forgot to take his meds, which would most likely lead to an unproductive day and a grumpy hedgehog to deal with whenever Shadow got home.
It also wouldn't surprise him if a nap was in the cards for tomorrow, and those were something he was exceptional at. And if Sonic was up for it, maybe they could do a movie night in bed. The blue hedgehog would most likely fall asleep halfway through because of this little early-morning adventure, while Shadow would lay awake for another five hours.
But as long as he had Sonic, he would live. It was mildly frustrating, but the residual smell of food reminded him that he wasn't alone. Sonic loved him enough to get up and make him food, even when the dark hedgehog insisted he go back to sleep. Shadow loved him enough to do the same, if the need ever arose.
And he always would.