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Phainon Khaslana.
A name so famous in the streaming industry. One that can and would sell out conventions. Phainon Khaslana who is well-known for his… love for waifus.
In his defense though, he is not a degenerate.
Well, true to his description of himself, Phainon Khaslana is not a degenerate and such a trait is what separates him from the rest.
He is a man of good morals and his love of women does not outweigh that. He appreciates real women for who and what they are. He loves fictional women for who and what they are. Not for the bullshit that companies do on them to make them marketable for the masculine gaze.
He absolutely hates that.
His usual late night streams revolve around playing story missions, pulling for his viewers on gacha games, and most importantly, analyzing the lore of his favorite waifus.
And tonight is no different.
Phainon was an hour deep into his stream when he finished the Natlan story quest.
He was analyzing Mavuika and her role in the story. Mavuika, who he is often compared to due to her flashy and sunny personality, is one of Phainon’s most favorite waifus out there.
“She literally sacrificed herself for her people! No one could ever top such a selfless act like that!” Phainon literally screams into his microphone as his surroundings light up from the flashy abilities of Mavuika on the screen.
Dozens of messages come flooding in every minute of his stream but this particular moment of Phainon fanboying for the pyro archon led to a digital stampede in his chat.
BESTBOIPHAI
Oh my titans ! He is so >____< adorable !!
Goldenpapiphainon
Clip that clip that! Bro is a cutie patootie UGH
Ilovemavu
So true king, go tell ‘em best girl Mavuika !!
PHAINONSCANONWIFE
I’m going to touch your toes and put you in my pocket, king
Phainon’s blue eyes caught the raging messages on the right side of his screen.
“Woah, woah, chill out guys. I am just so… hooked on Mavuika! She’s so fierce and amazing, she could run me over with her motorcycle and I’d absolutely thank her.” Phainon exaggerated towards the camera, earning laughs and donations from his earnest viewers.
In the middle of his coughing fit due to laughing outrageously, a chat caught his eyes.
PythagoreanTheoremABC
Hey, have you seen the latest quest from MT? They also dropped the long-awaited Pythagoras!
“Oh, MT you say huh? I haven’t played that game in a while.” Phainon smiles as he reads the chat out loud for everybody to hear. “Well then, enough Genshin for tonight guys. Let’s dabble in MT this time.”
Phainon launched the game and waited for the loading screen to finish.
Upon opening, he was greeted with a mint-haired man that has one eye covered and harbors a gun in his hand.
But Phainon’s eyes flew to a different place.
The man (or woman?) had an utterly bizarre waist.
It was so small Phainon could grab it with one arm.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
—
Phainon was a pale man. Given that he literally has white hair, his skin doesn’t stray away from such color. However, he was described by his fans as glowing pale and not sickly pale. He was viewed by his community as a perfect human being because honestly, yes, he really is.
He never shows powerful and negative emotions on stream. He never gets angry nor does he rage. People he has worked with in real life could also say the same, he was very pleasant to be around with.
He smiles softly, he laughs genuinely, he fanboys deeply. All of which are his trademarks and what his fans find endearing of him. He is also often described as a peaceful and composed man.
However, this time around, it wasn’t the case.
Every time that Pythagoras appears on screen, Phainon’s already glowing aura becomes even brighter. His eyes would twinkle and his smile would be so obvious.
PHAINONSDOG
Bro is… smiling?
PHAINONSCAT
Over a MAN?
PYTHAGODROMAS
Shush, Pythagoras ain’t a man !!
SUNNYRIVER
If Phainon likes Pythagoras, he’s now a waifu lol
Phainon finished the quest.
“Bro! I don’t think Pythagoras deserves to die like that! He is just out for this patch and he’s already dead?!” Phainon exclaims as his face was turning red again when recalling how Pythagoras died in the story. For him, it was so undeserved.
“I am not saying that the writing is terrible, it is far from it! But that was such a waste of beauty! The man has long, mint hair for titans’ sake! He has ethereal eyes, slender hands, a gun! A freaking gun in a world full of swords and spears!” Phainon was losing his mind, while ranting, his hand was clutching his chest as if he was betrayed and brokenhearted.
PHAINONSDOG
Bro this ain’t you at all???
PHAINONSCAT
Is someone holding you hostage Phai?
THEMOONDEIMOS
Why are you, as a man, appreciating another man’s BEAUTY?
“Hey, I am not gay!” Phainon squeals. “Just look at him. Objectively speaking, he is very beautiful! That tiny waist of his will be my death.” Phainon once again exaggerates and from clutching his chest, he proceeds on to fake a faint.
THEMOONDEIMOS
No one said you are gay brother.
“That’s besides the point! Listen to me guys.” Phainon is flustered. His cheeks were red. I am like a potat- no, a tomato I mean!
“Why does he, as a man, have a thin ass waist, bright pink lips, and childbearing hips?!” Okay, the last part was a bit of an exaggeration but fanboy Phainon was coming out.
Worse.
It was down bad Phainon.
PYTHADROMAS
Do you wish to get him pregnant… perchance?
“Ugh, obviously no, but that damn stupid waist. I can’t breathe guys. I’ll end the stream for now, see you later guys.” The white haired but red faced man takes a deep breath and bids farewell to his lovely viewers. Oh Titans do he hate them right now for teasing the living hell out of him.
Phainon removes his headphones, turns his PC off, and settles down on his soft, fluffy bed.
Oh how he wishes it was Pythagoras’ chest instead.
—
Twitter was a mess.
TRENDING
#1 Down Bad Phainon
#2 MT Pythagoras
#3 Will Bending Waist Pytha
Anaxa was greeted by this chaos.
The man slept pretty well after the successful night of MT’s newest update.
That god forsaken update cost him his nights. Well, he really doesn’t sleep that early but the time that he could have spent watching streams of his favorite games was wasted. Whatever puts food on the table. He thinks. Well, then again, he doesn’t eat much. Whatever buys me my games. He thinks again.
—
Anaxagoras was the head of the team in charge with Pythagoras, the mint haired man with a gun and an unholy waist.
Behind the scenes of creating Pythagoras, Anaxagoras lost a bet to his workmates. Specifically to Aventurine, a fucking gambling addict.
Their deal? Pythagoras will be based off of the mint-haired eclectic man once he loses the bet.
The bet? If Phainon, their loved and dear streamer, favors Mavuika. Anaxagoras bet he won’t, but much to his dismay, Phainon absolutely loved the character that Mavuika is.
The two of them are basically the sun personified but Anaxagoras did not see that coming.
So now, after losing to the greatest gambling addict of all time, Anaxagoras is currently knocked out on his bed–scrolling mindlessly through Twitter. In the midst of his half-awake half-asleep state, the name of Pythagoras topping the trending chart crosses his vision.
Why is MY character trending?
Shit. Shit. Shit.
DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?!
I will be fucking homeless.
I am cooked. I am roasted. I am burnt.
—
“ANAXA! Did you see Twitter?!” Hyacine exclaims and the sound she made reverberates through his ears.
“What about it now Hyacinthia?” Anaxa deadpans to her. He was playing his usual chill persona but his knees were shaking deep inside.
“Bro! I guess you did not check it, didn’t you?” Mydei follows up with an eye crinkling smile on his face.
“Pythagoras is trending, Anaxa. Not just Pythagoras though.” Dan Heng speaks suddenly in the back with a smug look on his face.
“Is our whole team cancelled on social media now?” Anaxagoras asks with sassiness lacing his tone.
“Worse.”
“Hmm?”
“Phainon Khaslana is head over heels for you.”
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
Anaxagoras short circuited.
—
The chill and cool head of Mihoyo’s character design department burnt through the building’s floors from pacing around too much.
Phainon? As in THE Phainon was overheating from looking at MY waist?
Phainon Khaslana?! The man, the myth, the legend basically saying I could be a childbearing individual?!
It was genuinely a crazy day for Anaxagoras. He felt like he was levitating in a fever dream. His favorite streamer literally went crazy for his waist and hips. Just a few barks here and there and Phainon would be pictured like a samoyed for real.
Anaxagoras wishes the earth would eat him right now. He was blushing hard as hell in front of his workmates. Now, they have a trump card against him.
“Oh, a certain someone is blushing hard.” Hyacine teases the petite man with playful malice in her tone.
“I would be too if my favorite streamer almost barked for my waist and looks.” Aventurine adds to the shameful situation Anaxagoras was currently facing.
“Shut up, Aventurine. This is all your fault.” Anaxagoras bites back.
“Ain’t my fault you didn’t see Phainon liking Mavuika coming. Besides, your idol won’t notice you if it weren’t for me winning.” Aventurine claps back with equal sass.
“Ugh. You’re the worst.”
“Thank you Naxy. Acknowledged and appreciated.” Aventurine winks at the poor blushing man.
—
Poor man. Phainon barely slept through the night.
His mind was filled with Pythagoras, his waist, his death, his mint locks.
“Aw man, get out of my head please. I want to sleep.” Phainon begs with no one to hear him.
In the midst of trying to close his eyes, his phone emitted a notification sound and it reads:
From L + Ratio Man
“Hey man, I just watched your stream. Saw you going crazy over that male character lol. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that the character you were grazing over looks super similar to a guy I know. Anaxagoras is the name. Just search his name online, he’ll appear. ;)”
Phainon grabbed his phone with two hands, opened his browser, and immediately started typing like a mad man.
Oh my titans.
It was such a good morning for Phainon.