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“Can you believe they just left him here? With us?”
“You can't even program the coffeemaker without it exploding,” Shepard agrees, arms falling back onto the blanket.
“Hey, that was Garrus.”
“Great first lesson you're teaching our son. Always pass the buck to someone else.”
“Only when it's their fault.”
“It was your fault.”
“Says who?”
“Says the two empty bottles of turian whiskey someone left on the bar, after I let you have the key.”
“He made a copy.”
“Because you left it out.”
“Still not my fault.”
Suddenly the baby shifts, arms and legs churning in the blanket, tiny mouth opening wide. Nothing but a few grunts escape, no wails, no shrieks. Kaidan closes his arms a little tighter, bringing the baby right up to his chest.
“Look at this,” he says, grinning. “Look at what we made.”
“We?” Shepard repeats. “Oh, I'm sorry, did you expand by two feet and grow an extra organ and sacrifice muscle integrity and movement for the better part of a year?”
“You're mean on painkillers.”
“You love it.”
“I do.”
He leans down and kisses her, for emphasis.
“Don't squish the baby.”
“Well, how am I supposed to know?”
“Did you check the field manual?”
“Ha, ha,” Kaidan whispers. The baby has settled but lets out one big yawn. “Hey, the midwife said those pregnancy books were invaluable.”
“As in, they had no value. She was humoring you.”
“She thought I was charming.”
“She thought you were going to throw up.”
Shepard sits up, sliding her arms around to his chest, head resting on his shoulder.
“We're gonna screw this up, aren't we?”
“Statistically speaking, it's pretty likely.”
“I want you to know,” she says to the baby, fingertip tracing over his plump cheeks and chin, “it is always your father's fault.”
“Now who's passing the buck?”
“Statement of fact,” Shepard says, shrugging.
“Son, I want you to know that your mother always lies.”
“Now we'll have to have another, so we both get one in the divorce.”
“Thinking that far ahead already?”
“Hard not to,” Shepard says quietly, smoothing over their son's tiny eyebrows. “God, he looks just like you.”
“You say that like it's a bad thing.”
“It really isn't.”
The angle's just right for a kiss to her temple. Her eyes close, and she leans in, hugging him a little closer.
“Thank you. He's beautiful, and you did great, and I'm so proud of you.”
“I'll appreciate that tomorrow, I think. When I've got some feeling back below-decks.”
He lies back as she scoots over, putting the baby down in the small hollow between their bodies.
“Go ahead and sleep,” Kaidan whispers. “I'm not going anywhere.”