Chapter Text
It's been about two weeks since Angela accidentally regressed at work. Two weeks since Amanda took her home and took care of her. Two weeks since Angela agreed to do it again.
The two have had multiple discussions on what they expect of each other. Talks of routines, likes and dislikes, boundaries, and comfort.
Despite all the preparation, Angela is terrified.
She has come a long way from the first time she called Chanse for help. At least on the regressed side of it. That day at the office was a great example of that. No tears, no hiding, talking to people, even asking for things she wanted.
Both Chanse and Amanda were always telling her how proud of her they were of her bravery, of how much her little self has grown. She'd even gotten compliments from her friends at the office about how polite and kind she was.
The part that hadn't gotten much better, was the adult side of it. She still pushed it away as long as she could, especially if she was alone.
Chanse and Amanda could coax her into it if they happened to be around when she was at the edge, but alone she fought it just as hard as she did as a teenager.
Refusing to touch the gifts her friends got her, despite how much she loved them. Placing them reverently in a drawer to never be used, too afraid to use them, but loving them too much to be thrown away.
This leads her to where she is today. Sitting on the couch petting Spork, waiting for Amanda to arrive. She had finally agreed to a day for Amanda to come over and take care of her.
Angela bounces her leg anxiously, staring at the door. Amanda had said she'd be there soon, and she can't decide if she wishes she was there now, or that she would be late.
At that thought, there's a knock at the door. Angela jumps slightly at the noise before getting up and opening the door.
Amanda is stood there with a big smile and a large bag. Angela lets her through the door, standing awkwardly behind her, not knowing what to do with how anxious she was.
Amanda gives her a gentle smile. “Let's sit.” She says gently, gesturing to the couch. They both sit, Amanda saying a quick hello to Spork.
“What's in the bag?” Angela asks curiously, trying to peek inside. Amanda lets her look inside, seemingly recognizing Angela wasn't in the mood for surprises.
Inside is a bunch of miscellaneous little stuff. Cups, clothes, toys, and other supplies.
Angela blushes, pushing the bag back towards Amanda. “You didn't have to buy me anything.”
“I know I didn't, but I thought it would be helpful. You don't have to use anything you don't want to, remember?” Amanda tells her gently.
Angela nods, pulling her knees to her chest. “I'm scared.” She whispers.
Amanda pulls Angela into her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I know you are, but you're so brave for trying.” She praises
Angela sighs, resting her head on Amanda's shoulder. “I've never regressed on purpose.” She admits. “I let it get to the point where I can't fight it anymore, and let go.”
“That's alright.” Comforts Amanda. “We can figure it out together. It's different for every person, we'll just have to try things until we get it.”
Angela nods, goal set in her mind. “How?”
“Well,” starts Amanda. “A lot of littles can feel that part of them, floating in the back of their consciousness. Do you feel it?”
Angela closes her eyes and brings her consciousness inward. After a few minutes she shakes her head.
Amanda rubs her shoulder. “That's ok, I didn't think so.”
“Another way,” she continues, “Is to use items that you enjoy when little, or make you feel little. Wanna try that?”
Angela nods, standing up and walking to her room, before returning with her stuffed dog, and sitting back down.
“Hi Cannoli” Amanda says waving to the stuffed dog.
Angela cracks a smile. “Now what?”
Amanda hums. “Chanse said you like Bluey-”
“Snitch” mumbles Angela under her breath.
Amanda continues. “How about you, Me, Cannolli, and Spork cuddle and watch some Bluey?”
Despite her comment about Chanse, Angela was excited to watch the show. She only ever watched it the few times she was little with Chanse, and she loved every second of it.
“We can do that.” She replies sedately, embarrassed by how excited she was.
Amanda grins at her and sets up the tv, pulling up Bluey, and playing the first episode.
Amanda pulls Angela back into her side, wrapping her arm around her.
Angela sits on the couch, Bluey playing, curled into her caregiver best friend, with her stuffed dog in her lap, and petting her real dog.
As the episodes play, Angela slowly feels the fuzz creep up on her.
Normally this feeling is terrifying, she feels cold and disoriented as her control slowly slips away until she can't hold on anymore and she falls into a pit of fear.
Today she feels warm, still disoriented, but more like she's still half asleep. She can feel herself falling, but it feels more like sledding, or a slide rather than a free fall.
She blinks, warm and dazed, looking up at Amanda. “Fuzzy.” she mumbles, letting her eyes fall shut.
Amanda hums in acknowledgment, rubbing her back. “You're safe, you can let go, I've got you.”
And for the first time, Angela drops on purpose. Not terrified of what will happen next.