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Hey, you know I’ve never told you the story of how me and Chibi got married huh? It’s one hell of a story.
Well the day started with Mori being an asshole, and sending me and Chuuya on another mission together at the ripe age of 16.
“You Chuuya and Dazai, you'll be infiltrating our newest enemy.” I don’t honestly remember the enemy as that was years ago and we had many missions like that, but it was a big company then and a small non-excistant company now.
“For this mission you’ll need to fake a relationship.” I knew by the look on Mori’s face that day that… Well he knew what he was doing.
“WHAT THE HELL MORI!” Here I was throwing up in my mouth and Chuuya was yelling, A LOT!
“It is the only way we can infiltrate the company and maintain our spot. It’s for the Port Mafia for our work to continue smoothly. We must take down this company to then take it over to keep the Port mafia at the very top. We don’t need competition.” Mori spoke these words with a dangerous tone, so just by that I should’ve known that this one task will spiral into many prob;lems to come.
“Mori, why is it necessary that we need to be in a relationship, especially with the slug. Why not just send someone else?” See obviously Chuuya and I going on a mission isn’t unusual as if Chuuya’s corruption is necessary then I’m the only one to help that, but if it’s a simple mission then there’s no need for us to go together, and fake a relationship.
“Well I need you two to go undercover and use this relationship of yours to sneak into a meeting they’re having soon to then uncover lost information, and then we’ll continue the relationship for you guys to sneak into a party with a high official in at the company, so then you’ll be able to assassin him and then we’ll quickly take down the company.” See all I heard as a teen was, blah blah, blah, blah, and blah. But somehow it still got taken out correctly.
“We’ll need you to change into a different look, and Chuuya I must ask you to…” Mori was struggling to get the words out without laughing and at that moment both Chuuya and myself knew that something was indeed wrong.
“Chuuya, you'll dress as a girl for this mission.” Even now telling you this story I can’t help but laugh, it was horribly funny to see Chuuya blush and complain. I guess my wife does have a very feminine complexion.
“Kouyou will get both of you dressed up and then you’ll be on your way okay?” By “okay?” he meant leave as the conversation was over, and he was most definitely about to have a laugh. Then oddly the slug and I didn’t talk much on our way to Kouyou. As we arrived we were at and directed how we’ll change our appearance for the three days we were to be gone.
“Luckily your hair won’t have to be changed too much except Chuuya-Kun. You'll have to wear your hair up in a bun to have a feminine look, your hair, given it’s light brownish color, will be fine for now, you must keep up with it! And Dazai just stay out of trouble, the both of you will need to wear these clothes for the three days and not your own as you may still be recognized.” I still remember the outfits, chibi-san was given pretty modest clothes being that he isn’t a woman but back then I still was picturing a dress or something. I giggle every time I think about Chuuya Nakahara in a dress, but let’s get back to the story.
Well obviously we went to the small area in Yokohama where we were to complete the infiltration, and it was pretty far from the Port Mafia. We were given a hotel, simple but forced together to really seal the deal I guess. From as much as I can remember it had a queen size bed, a kitchenette, and a lounging area with couch and a small tv.
“What the FUCK!” Those were the first words said by Chibi-San as we entered the room, well that is after seeing the one bed.
“Wow, Mori really wanted us to keep up the relationship even in the hotel huh Chibi?” I was joking around, but oh the feelings I was feeling then were crazy, but my dumbass didn’t know I liked him just. Chuuya was blushing very hard, but we didn’t stall too long. We had to get changed and to the meeting. Day one was the meeting, day two was the party, and last day three was the infiltration and completing the mission. Well while we were in our disguises I was now Takashi, and Chuuya was Hana. Which is a pretty name but for Chuuya I couldn’t stop laughing. We were a married couple that had established a business ready for trade and somehow we were to use these roles to take over an entire multimillion dollar company. Wow now thinking this mission was one of the hardest I’ve had, wow Mori was an asshole.
“Chuuya are you ready!? I want to go!!” I was done in about ten minutes all I had to do was put on a little make up and change my clothes and I was done. Kouyou taught me quickly, but Chuuya-San didn’t have the best time getting ready. And then I walked into the bathroom, and holy was Chuuya-San prettier than ever. I remember the beauty that grazed my presence! Wow I wish I could see that beauty once again! I remember that day vividly. He had a large amount of make up on eyeshadow, lip stick, and more. When I walked into the bathroom he had his hair bunched in his hand. It showed off the beauty displayed on his face, and then that’s when he actually looked over at me and I snapped back to reality. And then he said…
“What the hell are you looking at?” See Chuuya was in the middle of putting on lipstick and it was hot, I think I was blushing hardcore… But after we were done we looked very different. Chuuya was dressed up in a suit and heels, he had makeup covering his face and surprisingly he did really well! His hair was up in a bun like Kouyou. And me on the other hand, do you really want to hear that old friend we don’t have much time left? The sun will start setting soon, so let’s get straight to the meeting. I don't have much time to talk. But when we appeared at the meeting spot, a restaurant with a room empty for us. Chuuya had a computer programmed to record information and to give us answers on what to say, Mori also gave us small earphones so we could hear internal and external information. Though I still do question how he got all of those electronics, and how he programmed them too, but then I didn’t question stuff I just went along. But when we got to the meeting we got many questions, but we don’t have much time do we? I’ll tell you some of them.
“What makes you think we should partner with your business?” See that question was one I didn’t want to answer, but I still did as Mori said I have to answer.
“We’ll. Our business makes large profits, our workers are dedicated, and we are extremely interested in your company. We’ve thoroughly looked into your company and everything your company is working for aligns with our goal and morals.” Then Chuuya followed it up with some talk and so on, but honestly all I cared about was when the manager guy sitting across from me asked this.
“Takashi, and Hana how do we know we can trust you?” I sent back a code to Mori telling him I’ve got it, the code simple 3487 which I had used before for other missions.
(Author’s Note: No, that doesn’t mean anything, don't go searching up “What does 3487 mean?” Idk either.)
“Well, that question can be reworded and sent back to you, can’t it? We’ve given you reasons on why we are suitable which should've been displayed and given all the reasons why we are worthy of your trust, but this isn’t a one way deal, we still have the option of just rejecting you instead.” I could feel Chuuya's anger rising and I knew back then how much trouble I was going to be in, but back when I was in the Port Mafia I did not care.
“You haven’t nearly enough reasons for us to consider if we should trust you, so for this to work I expect for you to trust us, and we’ll start our business together, and in the near future we shall discuss more about profits and more for our companies. Is that a deal?” I was a piece of shit back then, but it worked. Somehow two sixteen year olds managed to pull one of the biggest companies back then into the Port Mafia’s trap. When we walked out of there Mori said to keep the Married act up, so I tried holding Chuuya’s hand and almost got killed… But we got to hold hands in public sometimes, and don’t tell Chuuya but I knew he enjoyed it.
Well once we returned back to the hotel Mori called, and talked through how day 2 will go. See everyone was pissed at me for not going along with the plan, but it worked. Later that night we ordered food and chilled, and though my feelings for Chibi had already formed, it kept getting worse. Later that night we had to figure out the sleeping positions.
“All I know is we are NOT sleeping together.” He was very clear on this, and he really didn’t want us to even share a room.
“Aww does the slug not want to sleep next to me.” Yeah I was a BIG asshole, I don’t know how you dealt with me. But in the end I slept on the couch and Chibi slept on the bed, that couch wasn’t nice at all.
Day two came and the feelings kept getting stronger and I kept denying it. That day was the party, we really had to seal the marriage deal that day according to Mori. Do I know why? NOPE!
“MORI WHAT THE HELL!” On that day Chuuya had to wear a dress.
“It is important! Most women wear dresses for important events, so you Hana will be wearing a dress.” It was a red Kimono which was different from his outfit yesterday, but the party was different from the meeting too I guess. The Kimono had many layers and it looked a lot like Kouyou’s.
“OSAMU CALL KOUYOU! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TIE THIS!?” Yeah there were a lot of struggles but in the end he looked. Beautiful. The party was okay, but the whole night I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. The way he talked to others, and pitched his voice so he would be Hana and not Chuuya. At the end of the night we had to leave as “Hana” was getting too drunk and started to act like Chuuya.
Finally after getting a drunken gravity wielder to our hotel, Chuuya passed out on the bed. He was still in the Kimono, and I was tired so I changed and went to sleep, well after pushing Chuuya off the bed and onto the floor. I told you I was an asshole then didn’t I?
The next morning Chuuya had a horrible hangover, but Mori wasn’t letting us skip out on the infiltration, as we’re almost done. So Chuuya was pissy the whole time, but arguably he looks his best that way. We had to keep the act up for just a little longer, so I wanted to plan a flashy and grand entrance for when we actually revealed our identities.
“What if we walk in, have a little speech and then, woosh OMG WHERE DID CHUUYA AND DAZAI COME FROM!?” He said no to that one immediately, but we got a plan eventually. FOr this last day we were to dress up in all red, I don’t know why but it was “Mandatory” according to Mori. Really the plan was for us to approach the manager and act like we’re sealing the deal and then we take over and basically murder everyone. You know classic Port Mafia stuff, they were our enemy and me and Chuuya-San were sent, so they aren’t coming out alive.
“What brings you two back?” Our now target speaks to us as if he didn’t know we were coming.
“Well we have to complete the transaction, so we have some papers for you to sign as a formal way of telling us we are able to share any and all profits made from our joint company.” The first couple papers were legit but the last one stated.
If I am to sign this I am giving my company to the Port Mafia. Mori, the terrifying genius he was, made sure he would know what he was signing, he could practically be signing his life away to the Port Mafia and it still would’ve worked.
“Our time together was short lived and not sweet, so have fun in hell!” Mori heard that through our headset and then boom the fifth, third and first floors were shot up by the members of the Port Mafia who were set up on those floors. After those three floors the fourth and second floors were next, and me and Chuuya who were already on the sixth were to deal with this floor. One two three, that’s how many shots were set off, but in different spots so he still had some life left. I wanted to hear his final words to this disgusting world.
“I already have three squads on your location, you won't get away.” His words were cold and harsh but it didn’t phase me.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” Then and there we really reveal our identities.
“Chuuya Nakahara, and Dazai of the Port Mafia!” See now with his intense blood loss he could no longer demand, he could only mutter his words.
“Aww I wanted to do a formal introduction, but you found out. Your men are already on the way aren’t they? My dear Chibikko will take down your men, and then we’ll use your signature to take your company, okay?”
“I TOLD TO STOP CALLING ME THAT MACKEREL!” Chibi hates me calling him Chibi or Chibikko. It’s cute for someone his size.
“CHIBIKKO! CHIBIKKO! CHIBIKKO, CHIBIKKO, CHIBIKKO!” I do enjoy teasing him. It is funny.
But you can imagine the battle from there, and that mission was kinda our first date. Wow that was boring, well I’ll tell you how we got engaged.
A couple months after that mission, and many failed suicide attempts I found my feeling for Chuuya-San had grown a lot. Sometimes he would do things that just made me blush, it was hard to keep my feelings away until Chuuya’s birthday when he was turning 17 and the Port Mafia decided to throw a party for him. It was my idea. And today I had finally found the courage to ask him to be my boyfriend. At first I was thinking this was only going to be a joke.
It was after the party and I asked for only Chuuya to stay.
“Chibikko-Sannnnnn, I have an extra gift for you!” I stood there tall looking down at him, hands behind my back shaking.
“What the hell do you want, slug.” Instead of just getting down on one knee, you know me I led him to the building I’ve tried to jump off of multiple times. Because the sunset look nice from there, not because I was going to commit suicide infront of my dear partner.
“Are you going to try to make me commit suicide with you?” I got down on one knee and struggled to get the words out.
“What the hell are you doing?” Chuuya looked down at me with no tears, nothing, just a confused look.
“Slug, Chibi, Chuuya. You’ve been a pain in my ass for years! The world has been a shithole and our lives keep changing every fucking day. Honestly I don’t even know what I’m doing right now. We’re only teenagers and we don’t know much, but I do know one thing, you could be mine and we’ll stay the strongest duo the world has ever fucking seen. Chuuya Nakahara, my partner in crime, will you marry me?” I had that speech ready ever since we finished the mission at 16.
“Are you fucking joking me?” Chuuya didn’t believe me at all.
“Yes, I am fully sure of my decision,” Chuuya scared me back then as he waited 2 minutes to respond to me.
“Osamu?” I looked up at him.
“Will you stop pushing suicide?” I looked up at him guilty as I knew I wouldn't, but you knew that…
“I’ll try, but no promises?” Now here is where my heart started to race because what if all of that was worth nothing?
“Good enough, hand that ring over.” For once I actually felt joy at the sight of Chuuya’s glove coming off for me to put on the gold ring on his left hand. I stood up and pulled Chuuya in, and for once got the kiss I wanted so dearly. After a couple months due to the money we acquired over the years from the Port Mafia we got married secretly, and then Chibi got really drunk. Then the next morning we were the Port Mafia’s greatest duo, well married duo at that.
Cute right? But we aren’t done… After I decided to become a better person I struggled with figuring out how to deal with these emotions, and blew up Chibi’s car… And held in all emotions.
But days and nights I fumbled with the ring, my wedding ring. The guy I yearned for, was left behind by my decision to become better.
I still think back to those nights when I would return home from the Agency and the ring would be sitting where I left it under my pillow where it would stay until I would face the feelings.
But my sadness was cut short when my interactions with the Port Mafia increased, from finding Atsushi-kun, and Akutagawa and Atsushi. And then my kidnapping.
Soukoku, double black, the most feared duo in the Port Mafia was reunited. That poker face that I always used to hide everything, went back up at the sight of Chuuya. The poker face only you knew what was behind it…
And though we were together over and over again we never addressed our marriage. But I did wear my wedding ring more often.
Then after the Guild fight I finally sent a letter to Chuuya to meet me on top of that same building we got engaged on to just test his knowledge.
“What the hell do you want mackerel, couldn’t kill me in the war with the Guild, so now you’re going to take me on now?” I was already staring down the edge of the building thinking if I should just jump instead of addressing our marriage problems, but for once I didn’t. And well in that moment I wanted to get straight to the point.
“Chuuya give me your left hand.” I walked up to him and didn’t look dead at me. Unfortunately I was and still am really bad at feeling, and I couldn’t look him in his eyes.
“What the hell?!” See then I was already tired and filled with emotions, so I reached out for his hand. I removed his glove and held his hand tight, as he protested. Fighting against Chuuya whilst he’s trying to remove you from existence isn’t easy.
Then I pulled off his glove to see the golden ring I put on his hand years ago at this same spot.
“You still wear your ring?” I was shocked that he wore it. I knew Chuuya really well then, but it never crossed my mind that he cared as much as I did.
“Well you wear yours don’t you?” In that moment emotions overwhelmed me as the man I married, my husband still cared.
Plot twist I know right?
“Am I still your husband? After all the bullshit I pulled. The years I left you alone. Can I still call you my husband?” My heart still races at the thought of asking him that question.
“Well I haven’t filed for a divorce yet have I?” His words were both harsh and sweet, a familiar feeling from Chuuya. And wow as we were standing in silence just staring at each other, rain poured down. I question to this day if the rain was there to encourage us or another sign, but that didn’t stop me from snagging a kiss from him. And we ran off of that building like teenagers soaked in rain.
From there on we got remarried and kept our marriage a secret no one knew of. Days went by before I told the Agency, on a nice sunny day. That got ruined, but that’s it.
“Dazai-san! Chuuya’s at the Agency waiting for you!!”
“Hi Atsushi-kun!”
“How did you know I was here?”
“You always come here! Now let's go!!”
Well bye friend I hope to see you soon, Odasaku…