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Sometimes Courtney wondered how smart Beef actually was. When she tossed him a ball and turned it invisible, the overstuffed chihuahua would nose around the entire hospital room before finding and returning it to her bed for another throw. But, if she seemed distracted, suddenly he was able to find it no problem and expected to be rewarded with her full attention and belly rubs.
It had been three weeks since Shroud had attacked. Thanks to the SDN’s technology, her bullet wound was almost fully healed. Unfortunately, her lungs were another story. For most of her life, Courtney had assumed she wasn’t going to make it to thirty for reasons that had nothing to do with her health. The smoking had almost been a way of taunting her body, like she was trying to tell it that it wasn’t going to get the chance to betray her. Then she woke up one day and realized the big three-oh had gotten a lot closer than she had ever imagined, and she was still living like a seventeen year old high school drop-out. Courtney had to confront the fact that there was a good chance she was going to keep living, and life hadn’t been fun in years. She’d heard that the Red Ring was paying in the form of medical implants, so she signed up, her first step in trying to make up for the mistakes of her youth. Then she nearly killed a man and Shroud rewarded her by shutting down her implant.
It would have been poetic, watching Mecha Man blow up among the stars and then suffocating in the street.
But, she survived. After coming so close to death, Courtney decided she wanted to keep living. She vaguely remembered a pamphlet for the SDN that mentioned healthcare, so she went to the nearest branch and signed up. They gave her an inhaler, the first one she hadn’t had to steal, and turned her over to the police with the promise that after a few days of processing she would be able to join the phoenix program. She met Blazer, the first person to tell her she was capable of doing good and sound like she meant it, who gave her a new name and never stopped being disappointed instead of lowering her expectations. She met Golem, easily the longest friendship she’d had without anyone getting screwed over. Life started to feel fun again.
Then her inhaler stopped working.
They gave her stronger doses, but those only worked for so long. Right when she was starting to feel like maybe thirty wasn’t going to happen, Shroud showed up. He turned her implant back on and told her this time she could trust him. She didn’t have much of a choice.
All Red Ring tech had switched off once Shroud was behind bars; Courtney liked to brag about it being a fuck you to her specifically, but, deep down, she knew she wasn’t that important. The geek squad at the SDN had been working on breaking the encryption and turning them back on, but so far, no dice. Anything beyond a brisk walk risked her lungs sealing up, and the doctors didn’t trust any normal medication to be enough at this point. She’d tried running once. They had to stick a tube down her throat so a machine could breathe for her.
But the desire to stay alive could only do so much to stave off the boredom of a prolonged hospital stay, even with the help of Vyvanse her doctor had been nice enough to prescribe. Golem and Robert visited when they could. Robert even hacked her shitty hospital tv to access premium cable channels and, of course, some days he dropped off Beef to keep her company.
Even with all that, there were hours, sometimes days, where she was alone and all she could do was think. She kept coming back to one question, the only question that she wouldn’t have to be the one to answer.
There was a rapping on her window and there floated Star Blazer; Chase, to his friends. The man who saved her life.
“I thought I caught a whiff of dollar-store hair dye,” Courtney said as she opened the window.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’d know that smell anywhere. I’m surprised all the pillows in the hospital aren’t lilac by now.”
“How’s the mid-life crisis going? Enjoying the Mercedes of superpowers?”
“A Mercedes could only dream of looking this good. Now, where’s Beef? I saw Robert on the way over and I wanna get that poor boy out of here before he’s scarred for life.”
“You’re delaying the inevitable, Grandpa.” Beef ran to the windowsill and stood up on his hind legs, his little nub wagging as he panted at Chase.
“There’s the little man!” Chase dropped just low enough to pick up the dog and cradle him in his arms. “Don’t tell Robert, but you’re my favorite. Yes you are. Yes you are,” he said, scratching the dog’s chest as Beef’s left hind leg kicked with joy. He glanced up at Courtney. “Just spit it out, woman.”
“Nah, I prefer to swallow. I didn’t get to where I am by being a quitter.”
“Maybe you should’ve given it a try, because where you are is a hospital.” Courtney was about to offer a rebuttal, but Chase stopped her. “Look, I have already been dealing with teenage bullshit all day. Save us both some time and just say what you gotta say.”
Courtney took a deep breath, momentarily turning invisible before she caught herself. “Why did you save me?”
“That’s the dumbest fucking question I’ve ever heard. Here I was starting to think you’d grown some damn sense.” Chase looked away from Beef and saw Courtney had taken an interest in a nearby tree. He closed the window and took a seat in the chair near the hospital door. “I saved you because you were gonna die.”
“Don’t feed me that bullshit. What, were you afraid Robert was gonna blame you since we had that fight?”
“Do I look like I’m bullshitting?”
Courtney was about to respond with a snarky, “Yeah, every day and all the time,” but stopped herself. “You went from calling me a piece of shit one minute and then you nearly died for me. What kind of sense does that make?”
“It makes perfect sense. I could have died; your ass was definitely dead.”
“That’s fucking stupid. What, my life is worth as much as yours?”
“Bitch the fuck you talking about, worth? We’re people, not candy bars.”
Courtney sighed and laid down on her bed. “I guess that’s just another superhero thing I’ll never get.”
“Nah, I saw what happened on the roof,” Chase said, tickling Beef while the dog licked his chin. “You get it.”
“Even if you somehow don’t think Robert is worth more than me, I owed him for-”
“I ain’t talking about you saving Robert; I’m talking about you not killing Elliot. If you were the bitch you think you are, hell, the bitch I thought you were, that little geek would be under the dirt right now, not safe in a cell.”
“That just means I’m an idiot. If I was smart I would have shot him. I just… I didn’t want to disappoint Robert, I guess.”
“All the best heroes are idiots. Shit, I’m an idiot. I knew you were right about needing to go get the pulse right away before Elliot took it. I was just drunk and pissed and wanted to swing my dick around. If I had sided with you we probably could have convinced Blazer and none of this shit would have happened.”
Courtney nodded. “I guess you really fucked up, huh?”
“Not the first time, probably not the last. Definitely not the last time you’ll fuck up either. All part of being a hero.”
Courtney looked to the side, her SDN badge collecting dust on a little table next to her wallet. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“What, you thinking about changing jobs?”
“Oh sure, with my resume?” Courtney scoffed. “I’m drowning in offers. No education, no work experience, and three dozen priors. It’s either the SDN or Onlyfans. Though, I guess it is kind of a coin toss. You think Robert would help me out? He doesn’t seem like the shy type.”
Chase shook his head. "You damn kids and your Onlyfans; back in my day we had Clips4Sale and we liked it."
Courtney tittered, but it wasn’t long before her smile fell. “I was only in the SDN to stay alive and out of prison. Even if the courts decide to call it even since I brought in Shroud, if I stayed it’s not like I wouldn’t be doing it for the paycheck and health insurance. Can you really call someone like that a hero? At best I’d be a cop. You think they’d give me a hat? You think I can just take one and see if anyone calls me on it?”
“Much as I’d love to encourage you to steal from the police, Robert would kill me if I got you back behind bars. And what, you think I’m doing this shit for free? Hell no, I got rent to pay. So does Blazer. What, you're gonna say she’s not a hero?”
Courtney smirked at the idea of walking up to Mandy and calling her a sell-out. “You two can do whatever you want; you choose to work for the SDN’s shitty pay. That means something. I don’t have a choice. I don’t deserve to be seen as a hero.”
“Damn, you really think you’re the special-est little turd God’s ever shit out, huh? You think you’d be the first person in history to sign on because they were desperate? We got night classes for GEDs, resume workshops, all kinds of shit Mandy’ll be happy to tell you about if you give her a chance. Just make sure I’m not in the room when she does; I’ve heard enough of her recruitment pitches.”
Courtney smiled. “Maybe I’ll find a brochure online or something, I’m not quite at ‘in case of emergency, summon corporate cheerleader’ yet.”
“If it exists, I’m sure Robert can help you find it. You know how much music he downloaded for me back in the day? And I’m talking deep cuts; live performance only shit, back before we had youtube and spotify and everything was everywhere. God, you used to have to work for shit back then. Being a fan meant something.”
“And you had to walk uphill in the snow both ways,” Courtney said, nodding seriously.
Chase gave Courtney the finger and she gave it right back. “Gonna be weird,” said Courtney. “Coming back to Z-team after they voted me off.”
“Well tough shit, they don’t get to make those calls. Robert wanted you to stay so you stay. Granted, not sure which head he was thinking with if what I’ve heard is true.”
Courtney shrugged. “Hey, I didn’t think he was gonna come into the women's locker room. What kind of man did you raise, Chase?”
“Better man than you deserve.”
Courtney sighed. “Hey, is the limit still on?” After the attack, the SDN had implemented a temporary cap of six heroes per team, sending excess manpower to teams that had taken heavy casualties. Two members of Z-team had already been transferred.
“Far as I know. Why? Trying to figure out who you’re gonna kick off when you get back?”
“I think I might volunteer. If I want to figure shit out, I need to have room to think. It’s hard to do that when I’ve got Robert giving me orders all day and making me soak through my jeans.”
Chase covered Beef’s ears. “Damn you’re nasty. I should have warned him more about girls like you. Nothing good ever comes from dating a woman with a nose-ring. And I would know, I’ve tested it thoroughly.”
“Robert’s smarter than you. Maybe he’ll be able to get out while the getting’s good.”
“Make sure you stay smart too. Trust me, Robert can fuck things up just like the rest of us.”
There came a knock. “Is my dog still alive?” Robert asked from behind the door. “Just don’t wanna be taken by surprise.”
“This place is still in one piece, isn’t it?” replied Chase. “Get your ass in here; I can’t keep listening to this late-twenties teenage angst.”