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Love Letters I Can't Send

Summary:

Mike wouldn't say he has a crush, its nothing like that. But there's a feeling he gets when he's listening to a song he knows Will loves that makes him feel just a bit...crazy. In the months leading up to his Spring Break trip to Lenora, California he confides in the only person he could talk to about this, Steve Harrington, and while he feels crazy doing it. His meetings with Steve help him decide he should write his feelings down. Mike does just that, expecting that when he shows up in California he and Will are going to be the best of friends. Little does he know while Mike has been moping around in Hawkins with Max and Dustin, Will has gone and gotten himself a brand new girlfriend, unless his girlfriend isn't a girl, and more like a really cool guy who drives around El and Will to school everyday. With Will and El's older brother Jonathan back in Hawkins to rekindle things with Nancy, that leaves just the four of them. With El taken just the three. Can Mike handle this cool older boy who has replaced him? Can Will give him the Painting? Can El find her independence? And most importantly can Mike finally open up his heart to the boy he loves more than anyone, even if that's a secret to himself?

Notes:

If you're reading this hello I love you so much! Two years ago during my sophomore year of HS I wrote this story, or a story very similar to this on the infamous Wattpad. With the new season out I was revisiting the fic with my friend and thought, hey why don't I rewrite this and post it on the more famous and cooler ao3. Not to mention the story needed a rewrite. I took Eddie out of the narrative completely, Jonathan is now in Hawkins with Nancy and it doesn't follow S4 so closely. Argyle is this cool older boy that Will is now obsessed with. Don't worry in this fic Argyle is only 16 and a grade older than the kids. I so hope you enjoy this, it brings joy to my heart to any and all who see this silly little part of myself and resonate with it. FYI I am very satisfied with S5 Vol 1 and who can say if Byler will happen or not. In my little 14/15 year old heart this version of Byler is true to me. Anyways enough yapping here's chapter one.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Mike!

Chapter Text

Saturday, March 22nd, 1986

The three alarms twenty minutes apart usually were enough to bring Mike Wheeler back from the dead. His radio alarm clock, was foolproof starting at three am blasting Careless Whisper loud enough to wake the entire house, an hour later at four am he should have been up. The drive to the Airport was an ordeal not to mention he still had to finish packing and get ready and Nancy never liked it when he was late. The problem, he hadn't accounted for just how dead tired he would be after a long day of school right before break. Not to mention a killer campaign that the Hellfire club had been planning for months, truly killer if you had to ask him. Then he came home and mindlessly doodled and wrote little things to add to his ever growing letter. 

Blame Steve it was all his idea. The last time he could remember writing Will a letter they were in elementry school. Of course Steve loved going on and on about how "A heartfelt letter helps win a girl's heart." Last night he had been too nervous meaning he couldn't sleep for the life of him, he was seeing Will again in the morning. That thought alone made the butterflies in his stomach fly around at lightspeed.

The alarm went off once again, blasting music from the local rock station he liked, "Mike!" Came his mother, banging on his door. "I need you up. Now!" Mike groaned, forcefully raising himself from his bed and turned off the alarm once and for all. Hadn't his father shared yesterday morning that he ought to be home and in bed by nine, but why would he listen to him? All in all after the day he had of course he was exhausted, that didn't stop him from staying up another few hours. Until midnight to be exact to get out all his last nervous ideas and rambles.

"OK! OK!" He was still barely awake, his mother must have sensed he was about to fall right back asleep because she went for the door, he had failed to lock it the night before. There was the incriminating letter, laying under his hand with ink smeared all over, so much for neat he thought. "Mom I'm up now I promise I'll start getting ready."

"Nancy needed you down in the kitchen twenty minutes ago."

"I know mom, uh I'll get ready. Just close the door." If his mother had caught the letter in her vision she hadn't mentioned it, of course maybe she didn't have as watchful eyes as he did. Watchful eyes of course were good for a Paladin to easily spot dangers. His mother was most likely focused on the mess. There was the wastebasket where he kept his letters from El (less discoverable that way). His clothes and belongings were thrown all over the room, he could never keep it clean these days. Eight classes a day and on top of that his club, and his family, his friends, plus his girlfriend and this stupid letter that he had been writing. It was all too much.

Past Mike had helpfully placed his super important outfit for today on his desk chair, under the precious half a decade old binder of his best friend's drawings. He had enlisted the help of Max around a week and a half ago. When he asked her about helping him decide what the wear on the first day in shiny California her eyes brightened up. Their friendship was a unforeseen, but welcome one. She filled the gap Will left for him and maybe he filled the hole El left. Neither of them truly did so but they pissed each other off enough. Got Max out of her head and Mike out of his books. 

She was looking through his closet then, his mother had told him his door had to stay open as Max was a girl. The rest of the house was allowed to hear. Except Nancy was working extra hours at the school, it was just the two of them really.

"Oh yes, this with the shorts and the flip flops, I can see it now." She spread her hands out all dramatically over the outfit she now laid out over his bed. He knew she was screwing with him, he didn't care. She was pushing Lucas away, and yeah they were kinda all having a falling out. Mike was no stranger to a depressing home life, who wasn't.

Him and Max had the worst science class ever together, a total downgrade from the genius of Mr. Clarke. So he had a in, and Max might not have known it but she wasn't here to look through his closet.

"Yeah, yeah! Uh cool would you want me to try it on?"

She got that evil little grin and it made him smile, whatever was going on with him, Max was like an open book to talk to. Better than the diaries that once filled his room. Whatever problems he had with her two years ago were completely gone.

"Yes Wheeler, go and try it on!" She shoved him into his walk in closet, in order to change.

Call him crazy, but he thought he looked kinda cool. It was far from his normal thing but as he admired himself in his mirror he didn't mind how dumb he looked, it was a test.

"Okay I'm coming out," He yelled from inside, "You better be clothed Wheeler." Max said, covering her eyes as he opens the door.

"Look, admire your genius." And she laughed. How she used to laugh with El he was sure.

If only those dumb asses didn't have to flee the state, and they all went into freshman year together, they were still the party together.

He imagined the Hellfire t-shirt making night except this time with Will. Maybe if he brought the Hellfire shirt on his travels and Will asked about it he'd want to try it on and…

"You look great. El will love it." Max was admiring him in the mirror.

And he knew she would, she didn't know any better.

How many times had she written him saying they were so those two from sixteen candles, and he just glossed over it and right into the trash it went.

"Thanks Max, I really appreciate it."

And then he had failed to bring up Will to her, or how he was feeling. Ruining the whole reason he'd begged her to come over. Probably why she didn't want to sub for Lucas yesterday.

The abomination was in his hands now, there was no real time for a new outfit so he threw it on, He could hear the familiar sound of Nancy's blow-dryer in the hall bathroom so of course she was up too. She would be driving him to the airport, only to pick up her boyfriend (gross).

He threw the letter into his blue duffel bag along with some last minute things and prayed that he hadn't forgotten anything important. "Mike!" His mother called from downstairs.

"Coming!" He replied

Stumbling down the stairs he was met with her handing him a bowl of cereal. "Here, eat something before you go." His mother was rocking his little sister Holly in her arms, probably another one of her moments. Nancy fell into step behind him.

The frosted flakes were gone in a few bites.

A quick glance into the living room proved the usual, his father was still dead asleep on his recliner in the living room. Somehow despite their yelling he always fell right back to sleep, Weekends were Ted's favorite, long morning to sleep in then screw off playing golf till dinner, at least when the weather was nice of course.

Waste of space, Mike reluctantly thought

His mother made sure to give him a long hug. "Be nice to everyone on the plane, and make it to California safe Mike, oh and don't forget to tell Joyce we all miss her." He knew the last part was complete face nicety, it was the thought that counts though isn't it?"

"Okay Dipshit time to pile into the car." Nancy said bumping his shoulder.

"Nancy language!" Karen was only a voice in the background.

"Mike really quick before you leave, grab a Jacket."

"Its California mom its going to be nice and hot I won't need one."

"Whatever, you kids be safe."

He shrugged her off, he couldn't think about a jacket right now. All his head was filled with was his plans, once he was at the airport the entire Byers' family would be there and then he would sneak off with Will and give him the letter.

His confession, his masterpiece. Of course there was also Eleven he would need to let down slowly, always better to do it in person anyways. The drive felt quicker than it was in reality. Nancy was kind enough to let the silence fill the air, they were both too excited for spring break.

She dropped him off at his flight's gate, Jonathan had just gotten in around a half hour prior and hi made sure to give his goodbyes to his sister before it became PDA ground zero.

The last thing he got from Nancy before that week was a, "Have a safe flight."

And with that, he boarded his flight, straight for California.

He threw his duffel bag up top, only leaving out his journal and his letter for will, ready to cross out a few things if need be. He couldn't remember everything he had written down but the idea was there. Everything he felt and all the ways he felt it. Everything he knew it was finally time to tell Will, poor Will who he had treated so horribly these past few years.

He had sent El a few letters at the very beginning, right when school started but then of course they stopped. How many had he written for Will? Was it close to fifty now? All unset. How many times had he sat in his basement and punched in Will's new phone number only to wait for a while, hear static and worry that he might have the number wrong. Then the phone was received, only to be answered by Joyce, when asking for Will she would kindly inform him that he wasn't home, he was out with some unarmed friend. And routinely he would hang up.

Will was busy, and El was clingy and it was the opposite of everything he wanted them to be.

What had El told him? That Will was making a painting for someone special in his life, a crush on a girl is what she thought? That hurt his heart more than he would like to admit. Whoever this Painting was for Mike would get to the bottom of it, and he also had to give Will the letter and not break El's feelings too hard in the process.

Thankfully his thoughts were taking up so much brainpower he ended up sleeping for a good three out of the four hours of the flight.

The kind elderly women flying in to see her children was kind enough to wake him when the flight landed, he wiped his drool (gross). And got himself together, rushing off the flight he had butterflies fluttering in his stomach. And there it was, that first glimpse of Will in his stupidly beautiful haircut and everything changed. He took a deep breath.

El ran up to him of course, hugging him tight, and giving him a kiss on the cheek, he brushed her off in the kindest way he could, only to now notice Will, standing far too close to another boy, a pretty boy with nice long black hair just like Mike was trying to grow out. They were practically in each others space.

El was kind to inform him, "Oh and this is Argyle, he is a soph-o-more and he drove us here."

He wasn't thinking, Mike stepped forward, patting Will's shoulder and then pulling him into a side hug.

"Uh whats— what is that?" He points to the tube in Argyle's hands. The question is targeted at Will. And yet he finds himself glaring at the new boy he knew nothing about, at Argyle."

"Oh just a painting I made." And Will has the audacity to not look him in the eye when asking.

"A painting?" The letter burned through his pocket. What was worse was this new boy, this older cooler boy reeked of weed, the worst part was Will smelled like it too.

Before he knew it El pulled him along, telling him about all the fun things she had planned and how much cooler California was, all of her cool new friends, and now the worst part was he was jealous of both of them.