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"I want a baby."
Rumi said to Jinu without hesitation. Her pout and pleading gaze were like a child asking for dessert before dinner. All because a young woman with a newborn in a baby carrier passed by her, and something inside her stirred.
Jinu paused for a second upon hearing the request, and turned to his wife.
"Uh... I thought I'd already given you two of these..."
And he was right. They already had two babies. One of each. The picture-perfect family, as most people would say. Actually, the reason they were in a children's clothing store now was because their youngest, their daughter, was about to turn one, and the two were choosing the dress she would wear for the occasion. So, technically, they already had a baby at home.
"I know, but it's different..." She purred to her husband, adjusting his shirt collar and gazing at him sweetly.
"How can it be different when we literally already have a baby?" Jinu raised an eyebrow, questioning the sudden desire of the woman of his life for something she already possessed.
Rumi's gaze met the young mother again for a moment, who was now lovingly watching her newborn sleeping peacefully. That was exactly what she wanted. A tiny baby who would scrunch when lifted from the crib, who still smells like milk and whose cries sound more like an angry kitten. She longed for the feeling of being someone's home, the tiny clothes to fold, the little red hand, fresh from the oven, intertwining with her finger. Perhaps she was being selfish. Her two children were already more than enough, and she loved them in the deepest, most intense way she had ever felt in her life.
“Yeah… Maybe I'm being ridiculous and sentimental because I saw a stranger's newborn." She sighed. "And besides, Zoey is planning to have a baby, and I can borrow it for cuddles now and then, right?" She said this more to convince herself than to convince her husband.
She looked at the baby once more, then back at Jinu, that feeling warm and confusing inside her.
“But Jinu…” She gently touched his arm. “Do you think… Maybe… We could have another one?”
Jinu blinked, he was surprised but not alarmed.
“Another baby?” He repeated. “Now?”
Rumi took a deep breath. The truth was she didn’t even know exactly what she was feeling.
“I don’t know…” she said with a shy smile. “Maybe it’s just… hormones? Our kids are growing so fast. And when I see a newborn, my heart gets this big.” She exaggerated with her hands. “But sometimes I think maybe I’m just missing that phase. You know? The soft skin, the baby smell… When they sleep on my chest…”
Jinu let out a quiet laugh.
“Waking up every hour…”
She nudged his shoulder playfully.
“I’m serious!”
“So am I.” Jinu leaned closer, looking at her the way he always seemed to see everything. “Do you really want this? Or are you just emotional right now?”
Rumi went silent. Her throat tightened. That was it. That was exactly the doubt.
“I… don’t know,” she finally admitted. “Part of me wants it. Part of me isn’t sure. And part of me…” She looked at the cute baby onesies that were hanging next to them and definitely not helping with this situation. “Part of me misses something we haven’t even lived yet.”
Jinu wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her closer. The fact wasn't that he didn't wanted more children. Heck, he loved being a father and loved that the mother of his children was the woman he adored. He would give her as many children as she asked for. What worried him most was that she might be tired or overwhelmed. Because motherhood was beautiful, but could also be burdensome. And she gave up a lot and sacrificed a great deal to carry and bring their children into the world. And she continued to give her all for their well-being.
“Look… We don’t have to decide today. You don’t have to know right now. We already have two beautiful, chaotic little ones at home.” He smiled. “If one day you truly want to try for another… We’ll talk about it. Slowly and together.”
Rumi rested her forehead on his shoulder, breathing in deeply. The weight of her doubt suddenly felt lighter, but not gone.
“You always know exactly what to say.” She murmured.
“I know you.” He replied, kissing the top of her head. “And I love you. With two, three, or ten kids. But then you have to promise I will get at least three hours of sleep per night.”
She laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Okay… Maybe four kids would be too much.”
Jinu looked at her sideways.
“So do you really want three?”
“I said maybe!” She protested, blushing.
Jinu heard her and nudged her gently, giving her a small smile. And even though neither of them said anything else, the thought lingered quietly between them warm, soft, and maybe… just maybe… possible.