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The system worked. Zagreus, once he felt well enough to try again, saw neither boon nor blessing from Aphrodite. Shades would wave him one way or another, and he would listen. The boons offered from the other gods were all ones he recognized.
The first time he emerged from the Styx after a failed attempt, he was greeted by a heart-stopping moment of silence, and then a lot of deliberate conversations and absolutely no eye contact. Hypnos waved him in with a stuttering motion like he wasn’t sure he wanted Zagreus to see it. Achilles kept his head bowed, bending it deeper when Zagreus passed. Thanatos shifted awkwardly from foot to foot in such an out-of-character way that Zagreus wanted to scream at him.
Hades, at least, didn’t treat Zagreus like the filth under his skin was visible to all. They talked about Zagreus’ mother, and Hades’ relationships with their family, and the dangers the Olympians posed to a godling like Zagreus and indeed, any other minor or chthonic deity. The Olympians had power, and that meant they could avoid consequences for themselves and punish others however they wished.
Their talks didn’t dissuade Zagreus from his escape attempts. He needed to find his mother, he needed to try and escape this place for even more reasons than he had before, but…
It was… nice. Getting to sit in the garden Hades had hesitantly revealed to Zagreus and just talk to his father like normal people did. It did make Zagreus want to howl in rage at Hades sometimes, because if Hades had ever, even once, attempted to open up in a fraction of the way he had now, maybe Zagreus would have been slower to trust the gods who snuck gifts to him and told him to keep them secret.
Except that barely two weeks later, Dionysis left a peculiar message for him.
“Hey mate, just wanted to let you know that Aphrodite’s been banned from contacting you. Like, at all. You don’t need to worry about her, but I would like to know what happened.”
Zagreus didn’t tell him. The idea of anyone else knowing what had happened, of anyone else seeing the ruin under Zagreus’ skin, was intolerable.
Thanatos broke next.
“Zagreus, please, talk to me. You have been acting so strangely, and no one will tell me what happened!”
Again, Zagreus didn’t say anything. Achilles wouldn’t look him in the eye. Hypnos would start to greet him and then hide his face, as if even seeing Zagreus was a shameful thing. Zagreus almost wanted to tell them that they’d both had their dicks inside him, the least they could do is wave when they saw him.
It took Hades calling Zagreus to his room and bringing Achilles forward for the silence to finally break.
“Zagreus, I-”
Achilles looked awful. Zagreus hadn’t realized shades could look as sleep-deprived and over-worked as Achilles did as he stood in front of Hades, white-knuckling his spear.
“I owe you… so much more than an apology, lad. What happened was unforgivable- unacceptable- and I can only say that I am so, so very sorry that I allowed it to happen.”
Zagreus frowned, and looked up at Hades, who tilted his head ambiguously. He was going to be no help here.
“Sir, it wasn’t your fault,” Zagreus said quietly.
Achilles’ jaw tensed.
“It was. Or at least, enough of it was. I am supposed to protect you and the inhabitants of this House, and instead-”
“You, a shade, couldn’t fight off an Olympian god’s mind control, and you’re blaming yourself for that?” Zagreus interrupted.
Achilles bowed his head. Zagreus swallowed and slowly, hesitantly, reached out and placed a hand on Achilles’ wrist. It felt so much more fragile than it had when he’d been trying to… escape.
“I don’t blame you,” Zagreus said quietly, “I’m not… mad at you. It wasn’t your fault. I understand if you can’t look at me the same way-”
Achilles snapped his head up, shaking it hurriedly.
“No, lad, that’s not- it wasn’t you. It was me. I couldn’t bear to even place my eyes upon you after what I did to you. I thought it… indecent of me. That it would be unwelcome.”
And maybe, for the first few hours after it had happened, Achilles would have been right. Zagreus took a slow breath and exhaled it slower.
“It’s not. Not… when it’s actually you looking at me. Do you… remember…?”
Achilles shook his head.
“Not really. It’s… a blur, mostly. Pink, oddly enough. I think I… I remember your eyes, I think, looking up at me.”
Zagreus nodded.
“You carried me to my room,” he said softly, “When the boon started to fade, once it stopped… it… you carried me to my room.”
Achilles looked confused so Zagreus continued, “Everyone else left after they- you know. Even under mind control so powerful I couldn’t fight it, you were able to pick me up and carry me to my room. You didn’t leave me out there where everyone could see me. You did what you could to protect me.”
Zagreus laughed ruefully and released Achilles’ wrist.
“If anything, I should be apologizing to you. I brought that power here and ensnared you all. It was my fault-”
“It was not.”
There was a steel in Achilles’ tone that made Zagreus instinctively stand up straighter. Achilles stared at him hard.
“It was not your fault someone with more power than you chose to harm you. It was not your fault you trusted someone who had previously only shown you kindness. It was not your fault you were betrayed, and it was not your fault that betrayal included us. If you can say I have no fault in this, then you must accept that you do not either.”
Zagreus stared at Achilles for a moment, then flicked a look up at Hades, who was still looming over the both of them. Hades quirked an eyebrow at him, and said nothing.
“You sound suspiciously like my father,” Zagreus muttered.
Achilles actually laughed at that, although it was still a strained sound.
“Then perhaps you ought to listen to one of us,” he said.
Zagreus grinned with only a little uncertainty and responded, “I can only do that if you talk to me.”
Achilles gave him a similarly shaky smile.
“Aye, lad. I’ll try.”
Zagreus waited until Achilles left to shoot Hades a scowl.
“You didn’t pressure him into this, did you?”
“I only told him you needed to talk,” Hades said, crossing his arms, “Nothing more.”
Zagreus kept frowning at him, then nodded and left as well.
Luckily, it seemed that all Hypnos needed was to see Zagreus interacting with Achilles again to reach out as well.
“The Hydra seems to be a bit of a sticking point recently,” Hypnos said, voice quieter than normal.
Zagreus shook blood from his hair and huffed good-naturedly.
“I’ll get Learnie to work with me one of these days, you’ll see,” he responded, giving Hypnos a smile that was returned with no small amount of relief.
“Zagreus- ah- are we-?”
“We’re good, mate. Promise.”
Hypnos visibly relaxed, although he also hid deeper in his robes as he did.
“Good! Good. I was… I was worried. And you’re… all good?”
Zagreus nodded. There was no need to tell Hypnos that he still felt like scrubbing his skin until it tore and let him finally cleanse himself properly. It wouldn’t help anything.
“Good! Great! I’m… glad you’re still- y’know. Talking to me,” Hypnos babbled, scribbling on his clipboard.
Zagreus’ smile softened.
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my friend.”
Hypnos paused, a genuine if wounded smile crossing his face.
“And you’re my friend too.”
The next time Zagreus emerged from the Styx, Hypnos greeted him like normal, and it felt like one more broken rib had been eased back into place.
Zagreus kept attempting to escape. The first time he made it to his father after the incident, he had been genuinely curious about what awaited him. They had been talking after all. Zagreus knew Hades would still fight him, but he wondered about the effort his father would expend to do so.
He was not expecting to see Hades already in battle.
A bolt of fire nearly sent Zagreus home the moment he left the gate, forcing him to leap backward with a yelp. When no insults or even questions followed, Zagreus crept forward again, ready to dodge back if Hades tried to attack again.
Hades wasn’t looking at him. He was at the outer edge of the area, Gigaros in-hand, stalking toward a crouched, shaking-
Zagreus felt like his heart stopped of its own volition.
Aphrodite was looking pleadingly up at Hades, hands raised in surrender.
“Hades, please, I-!”
She flickered out of the way as Gigaros slammed into the ground where she’d been, the frozen earth beneath snapping under its teeth.
“You will LEAVE!” Hades roared, and Zagreus could feel the wall of the Underworld he was leaning against tremble under the force of Hades’ rage, “You have DONE ENOUGH!”
“I want to apologize!” Aphrodite yelled.
Hades stomped the ground, and Aphrodite had to dodge the surge of eruptions that rushed toward her.
“THAT IS NOT FOR YOU TO DECIDE!”
Zagreus, faintly, realized Hades was forcing Aphrodite to dodge back and forth, not letting her approach the Underworld. He was keeping her away. She was trying to get into…
“IF ZAGREUS EVER CHOOSES TO HEAR YOUR WORDS, THEN YOU MAY GIVE HIM WHATEVER PATHETIC APOLOGY YOU THINK WILL FIX EVERYTHING!”
She wanted to apologize.
She wanted to apologize?
Zagreus pressed his spine to the wall and slid down it, wrapping his arms around his legs.
He almost wanted to hear Aphrodite out. She had been kind to him, and helped him, and… she had mind controlled him and the people around him, the people he loved, into utterly ruining Zagreus. He had to hide a flinch any time Achilles moved too quickly toward him. He couldn’t touch any of the shades in the hall or the texture made him want to vomit. He froze whenever Hypnos woke peacefully, irrationally terrified that his eyes would be the wrong color.
It felt awful, and selfish to admit, but Zagreus only wanted to hear why Aphrodite had done it. Why she had hurt him and the people he cared for. He didn’t want to hear her apologize. He only wanted answers.
The wall behind him rippled a little, responding to the fury of its master. Hades wouldn’t let her in. Zagreus was resistant to any sort of mind control. He could go outside and demand answers.
He buried his face in his knees.
Zagreus wasn’t sure how long he sat there, only that eventually, Hades sat down next to him and offered him a hand. Zagreus took it, chuckling weakly at how small his hand looked, completely encompassed by Hades’ palm.
“I will not let her in unless you allow it,” Hades said, not looking at Zagreus, “And you do not ever need to allow it.”
Zagreus nodded, feeling tears threatening to blur his vision.
“...maybe someday. I want… I want to know why, but not… I don’t…”
Hades squeezed his hand a little in what was probably supposed to be a comforting gesture.
“It is unlikely any answer you get will be satisfactory. It may well cause you more pain. I know that right now it feels as if the only way you will ever know peace is if you understand her motives, but it won’t work the way you wish,” Hades warned.
Zagreus blinked repeatedly, trying to force the tears to dissipate.
“But if I just knew why- if I just understood-”
“You would find that it does not help. No matter the reasoning. She decided your choice was less important than her desires. That is not something words will be able to repair. You may wish to hear what she has to say right now, but believe me for once: it will not help you the way you think, and it will not help you for a long while.”
Zagreus closed his eyes, feeling his lower lip tremble. Hades squeezed his hand again.
“You will not get through this easily. It will stay with you even when you believe you should have long moved past it. One day, perhaps, you will wish to hear her words, and her apology, but you both are immortal. You can take as much time as you need, and she will just have to accept that. But I have to tell you this…”
Hades sighed, and Zagreus felt his hand tremble a little.
“I have never known it to help. Even when the event had long passed, and time had dulled the ache into something unnoticeable, all receiving those answers did was reignite the wound.”
Zagreus let out a soft, hiccuping sob. Hades sighed again.
“I know that is not what you wished to hear. And I am sorry for that. I too wish it were so easy as an apology,” he murmured.
Zagreus huffed out a wet attempt at a laugh and said, “You just want a free way back into my good graces.”
Hades was silent for a moment.
“Perhaps I do,” he finally said in a musing tone.
They sat next to each other, Zagreus attempting to pull himself together while Hades simply watched the gates and let him.
“I don’t want to go back out there while she’s looking for me,” Zagreus whispered.
“Would you like me to take you home?” Hades asked.
Zagreus shook his head.
“Just… sit here with me. Just for a little bit.”
“As you wish.”
Zagreus scooted closer to Hades until his father simply placed an arm over Zagreus’ shoulders, securing him against his side.
“Thank you,” Zagreus whispered.
Hades simply nodded, still watching the gates. Still protecting Zagreus. His eyes closed again, this time in exhaustion. He was safe to sleep while in his father’s arms.