Work Text:
Don't wait, don't wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you're deep enough
To lay your armor down
-Dashboard Confessional, "Don't Wait"
November 2025, Present Day
Connor smiles after reading Hudson’s reply, placing his phone next to him on the mattress.
He and Hudson have spent two days between the Montreal and Toronto premieres, and have been making the media rounds ever since. Connor’s grateful, he really is. There are so many times that he still feels like he needs to pinch himself to make sure this whole experience isn’t some sort of fever dream he’s about to wake up from.
Despite how much fun he’s having, Connor is also so tired and feels desperate to turn his brain off for a while.
So when Hudson had rattled off a few of his favorite movies as a child during one of their numerous interviews earlier today, it had given Connor an idea for once they returned to the hotel they were staying at. He’s got the movie set to go for whenever Hudson shows up - he can close his eyes for just a second…
A familiar knock at the door rouses Connor, his eyes flying open as he scrambles out of bed.
Connor rubs at his chin, his facial hair scratching against his palm as he pads barefoot to the door, willing himself to wake up. As soon as he opens the door to Hudson dressed down in a ratty t-shirt and a pair of sweats slung low on his hips, however, that’s all the motivation Connor needs to be awake.
The man standing in front of Connor is what maybe feels the most surreal about this whole thing. For all the people Connor has met throughout his twenty-five years, he’s never before felt a pull to anyone like he feels towards Hudson. Sure, they had immediately clicked as their characters during their chemistry tests, but the real tell for Connor was when they were off-script.
Before they began filming for the show, they’d chat about things like skating sessions, or send each other pictures of what ridiculous meals they were eating that day to keep on diet, or bet on who could do the most pull-ups during their workouts (to Connor’s chagrin, it was usually Hudson). They were both busy leading up to the first time they met in person in Toronto, with previous commitments - but all the same, Connor could still feel an ache inside him during the moments where they weren’t talking.
Connor had thought it ridiculous at the time; certain he was making things up in his head and blowing things way out of proportion - surely Hudson couldn’t feel the same way. Hudson was just being kind, and Connor could shove this down and be professional, and he would, for the sake of keeping things as normal as possible, at least…until he couldn’t.
June 2025
It’s two weeks into filming and they end the day’s shooting on a particularly intense scene. After shooting, Connor feels wrung out, his emotions on edge, and Hudson, ever perceptive, suggests they go back to the apartment he’s been put up in with the promise of a bottle of tequila and an indie movie they had both been meaning to watch. Connor naturally jumps at the chance.
They lazily sip on the alcohol and watch the movie, but once the glasses are empty and the movie is over, Connor feels practically ready to vibrate out of his skin. He looks over to Hudson, the sound of their breathing the only noise between them. Hudson’s eyes are sparkling and his body language giddy as he watches Connor. It isn’t anything Hudson is doing, but Connor feels very much like he’s on display. He can’t say anything, still terrified to ruin the easy friendship they have already built. To Connor's great relief - Hudson takes it upon himself to break the silence first.
“Maybe this sounds ridiculous…” Hudson says once he’s able to articulate words before shaking his head. “No…never mind actually - it’s too ridiculous.”
“Noooo, tell me,” Connor can’t help the whine that laces his through his voice as he pokes Hudson in the side, the alcohol making him bolder than he’d normally be. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
Hudson laughs, shaking his head again. “Okay, this is…this is so dumb, but I was just thinking, have you ever heard of that ‘go ahead and ruin the friendship’ thing? Like it’s better to take a chance and maybe ruin the friendship by telling someone how you feel than to keep quiet and never know what could have been?”
Connor lets out a laugh, unable to help himself. He’s not laughing at Hudson - it’s just that he had practically read Connor’s mind, and Connor can’t help but be a little dumbfounded - it’s what he’s been trying not to do ever since they finally met in person and what he’s been desperately close to doing all night as they sat there, watching the movie and sipping tequila. “I…uh…sure. Yeah, I’ve heard of it.”
He doesn’t think either of them are that drunk - Connor’s only had two drinks while they’ve been sitting there, and Hudson the same - surely it isn’t enough to send their judgment out of orbit, but there’s no doubt in Connor’s mind that he feels looser, braver, and less inhibited with those two drinks than he would without. Hudson probably is feeling similarly if he’s talking like this - but Hudson must have someone else in mind with this line of conversation - maybe someone back home in British Columbia. Or maybe someone else on set that he’s gotten familiar with during this whole process? Surely, Hudson can’t mean…Connor.
Can he?
“Okay, that’s good then.” Hudson nods, setting his empty glass on the table and standing from his spot on the couch. He takes a deep breath as if to steel himself before moving so he’s kneeling in front of Connor. Connor’s legs, spread open, bracket Hudson on either side and Connor swears he can feel his heart in his throat as Hudson utters his next words. “Because I’ve been thinking about it a lot…and I kind of want to ruin this friendship.”
Connor can’t breathe, can barely think as he does his best to casually set his own empty glass down on the side table next to him. He’d be lying if he said that pinning Hudson down and kissing him hadn’t been all Connor could think about for the last two weeks - at least in a sense where he wasn’t Ilya and Hudson wasn’t Shane. Goodness knows they had been doing plenty of touching and kissing that way. He needs to say something, anything, but his brain can’t keep itself from getting hung up on the fact that it isn’t someone else Hudson is after - it’s him.
“Fuck, that came out wrong. I don’t mean actually ruin our friendship. I mean…fuck,” Hudson laughs after a moment of Connor being silent, dropping his head and rubbing his palms against his face. “Never mind what I meant. You’re totally fucking freaked out. I shouldn’t have said anything at all. Just forget I ever said anything.” As he moves to stand, however, Connor stops him, resting his hands on Hudson’s shoulders and holding him in place on the ground where he’s kneeling.
“Wait, a second…stop. That’s not it at all. I…uh…I’m not freaked out. Not by what you said anyway,” Connor admits, his thumbs moving over Hudson’s collarbones. “I’m freaked out…but only because I’ve been thinking about the same thing ever since we got to Toronto to start filming.”
Hudson’s lips quirk up a little. “Really?” He lets out a relieved laugh and Connor can’t help but chuckle as well.
“Really.” To prove his point, Connor shifts to lean forward, pressing their foreheads together. Their noses bump together once, twice, before their lips meet. The kiss starts off slow and tentative - two people unsure of what the other wants or needs more than just this initial brush of lips, and even though they’ve kissed a thousand times on set - this is infinitely different.
But it doesn’t take long before they become more sure, more confident. Hudson’s fingers lace through Connor’s hair, and Connor’s hands move to bracket Hudson’s face, holding him there so they can just kiss. There’s a gentle swipe of Hudson’s tongue on Connor’s lower lip and without hesitation, Connor’s lips part, the heady combination of tequila and Hudson flooding his senses.
He’s not sure how long they actually kiss - it could be seconds or hours or days in Connor’s mind for how lost he is in the feel of Hudson’s lips on his and the way Hudson’s fingers curl in his hair, tugging gently as he holds onto Connor.
Hudson is the first to break away - a quiet moan escaping his throat. Connor’s head is swirling and body shaking as he does his best to catch his breath. The sounds of their soft panting fill Connor’s ears and he feels dizzy with something more than just the alcohol coursing through his veins. It’s the intoxicating feeling of knowing he wants Hudson, and if the confession and kiss they just shared is anything to go by, there’s no more denying that Hudson wants him also.
Hudson nuzzles his nose against Connor’s cheek, his eyes closed as he speaks, a tinge of laughter in his voice. “Well, if that’s what comes of it…I’m glad we ruined the friendship.”
“Hmm,” Connor purrs, kissing the corner of Hudson’s mouth. “Me too.”
November 2025, Present Day
“Hey there, come on in,” Connor says with a subtle tilt of his head, letting the door fall shut once Hudson is inside. No sooner than the lock snicks into place behind Hudson, Connor brushes a soft kiss against Hudson’s lips, his fingers moving to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Hudson’s ear.
“Mmm, I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” Connor whispers, a small smile on his lips as he draws back. Hudson also has a sleepy grin on his face, his eyelids heavy and shoulders slouched ever so slightly. “I didn’t wake you though, did I?”
“I’ve wanted you to do that all day.” Hudson says, his chin resting on Connor’s shoulder and fingers tracing along his bare hipbone. “And no, not really. I was just getting off the phone with my mom when you texted. She wanted to let me know that she had made it back home safe.”
“Mmm, I’m glad she made it home,” Connor murmurs, his hands moving to brace Hudson’s sides as he exhales through his nose. “We can just sleep if you want to? The movie will still be there tomorrow.”
“No, no,” Hudson says, bumping his hip against Connor’s. “Let’s put it on to start at least. If we fall asleep, we fall asleep.”
“Sounds like a plan. Come on,” Connor presses another brief kiss to Hudson’s forehead before leading him towards the bed. “I’ve got everything ready to go.”
Connor makes his way to grab his laptop from the nightstand, and as Hudson crawls into the bed, Connor can’t help but watch, enamored with everything from the way Hudson’s hair flops across the pillow to how lithely he slides under the comforter.
“You’re staring,” Hudson teases, settling on his back, one arm behind his head. The snake tattoo curling around his elbow is on full display, and if Connor were less tired, he’s certain he’d be doing more than just staring at Hudson.
“Sorry, what can I say? The view is too good,” Connor says as nonchalantly as he can before kneeling on the mattress next to Hudson. He positions the computer on Hudson’s lap before curling up against the other man’s side.
Hudson reaches out, tapping the play button before his arms move to envelop Connor, holding him close. The familiar score plays from the speakers and the opening credits begin to roll. Connor presses his cheek into Hudson’s shoulder, his hand resting just near the other man’s heart.
It’s not always like this. Sometimes, Connor will be the one holding Hudson, or sometimes it’s a free-for-all, the two of them collapsing on the bed side by side out of sheer exhaustion, neither of them holding the other but still needing to be close. When they wake in the morning, there will be an arm draped haphazardly over a torso or a tangle of legs and feet, their bodies drawn together somewhere in the night. Sometimes, it’s neither - the two of them separated by distance and time zones and other obligations.
Those are the nights Connor hates the most.
Right now, however, he doesn’t have to think about that, locked in the gentle warmth of Hudson’s embrace. Connor can simply be here.
Connor can’t help himself - he finds himself quoting along with the movie in French, earning himself a teasing “show-off” from Hudson. They don’t make much noise other than Connor’s occasional quote here, or a quiet sigh from Hudson there.
Connor is grateful for the moments like this that they’re able to steal away from the world, just the two of them. It’s easy to play up the flirting and touching when they’re being interviewed, and every second he gets with Hudson is magic to Connor, whether a camera is turned on them or not. But these moments are when both of them have their guards down and can just be themselves. No media personas, no Ilya and Shane, just…Connor and Hudson. That’s when Connor feels most safe, and he only hopes Hudson feels the same way.
Somewhere partway through the movie, with Hudson’s hand moving gentle strokes through his curls, Connor’s eyes become too heavy to keep open, and he drifts off to sleep, caught up in the dreamlike ambiance of just being here, pressed against Hudson as they watch.
He’s uncertain how long he’s asleep, but by the time Connor wakes up, the ending credits are playing on the screen, the quiet accordion score that he’s heard a million times playing. He shifts to look up at Hudson, who has also drifted to sleep, is completely still, save for the rise and fall of his chest. Connor moves carefully as not to wake him, shutting the laptop and setting it back on the nightstand.
After he rolls back over, Connor hovers just by Hudson’s side, watching him sleep. The moonlight coming through the window seems to hit Hudson’s face perfectly, and not for the first time, Connor wonders how he got so lucky. He leans down to press a light kiss to Hudson’s temple.
“Je t’aime de tout mon cœur.” The words roll off of Connor’s tongue before he can stop himself.
“Hmm?” Hudson asks sleepily, his eyes blinking open, and Connor freezes. Shit. Had he said that out loud? He didn’t mean to, necessarily, caught in a sleepy haze and overwhelmed by Hudson there in his bed. Connor could probably easily walk them back, pleading exhaustion or just pretending he said something else. “Did you say something, Connor?”
As he traces a finger along one of Hudson’s tattoos, however, Connor finds himself thinking that he doesn’t want to walk it back. He wants to say this to Hudson every day for the rest of his life if he’ll let him.
“Um…I said…je t’aime…” Connor murmurs, and he means it. It doesn’t matter that he and Hudson have only known each other for about a year now. It’s just that when Connor knows, he knows. “...de tout mon cœur.”
“Ahh…I think I can guess, but just in case my tired brain didn’t hear you correctly…” Hudson trails off, fingers resting at the nape of Connor’s neck. “Translate for me?”
Connor shifts so he’s propped up, his hands bracing either side of Hudson’s torso. He looks down at Hudson, unable to stop the smile that crosses his face. “I love you…with all of my heart.”
There’s the briefest beat of silence where the words hang between them, suspended in the time and space where someone has just said something momentous that for better or worse, will change their life. Connor does his best not to panic as he watches Hudson, reminding himself that Hudson may either not be ready to hear those words, or if he is ready to hear them, maybe he’s not willing to say them back.
Connor’s just on the verge of convincing himself that he’ll be okay if Hudson doesn’t reciprocate, but then Hudson speaks the four most gorgeous words Connor thinks he’s ever heard.
“I love you too,” Hudson’s warm brown eyes are alight, even in their exhaustion.
Connor doesn’t care how tired he is right now - he feels like he could fucking fly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Hudson affirms with a smile, his hand reaching up to touch Connor’s face, thumb moving over his cheek. They sit in silence a moment before Hudson speaks again, his smile widening. “Still glad we ruined our friendship?”
Connor can’t help but laugh, ducking down to kiss Hudson before settling back into his side.
“Very.”