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—
The funniest part, really, was that John wasn’t doing anything special.
He was just… in a good mood.
Which apparently was suspicious now.
It started when Sam walked into the kitchen on a quiet morning in the Tower and found Bucky standing behind John while he stirred eggs. Not hovering. Just there. Close enough that Sam had to sidestep him to reach the coffee machine.
John hadn’t even noticed. He was humming.
Bucky had noticed everything.
Sam narrowed his eyes. Interesting.
Then Yelena saw how Bucky automatically reached out and tugged John out of the path of a swinging door, hand at the small of his back like it belonged there. And how John leaned into the touch without thinking, still talking to Bob about soap scents like nothing was out of the ordinary.
Then Alexei caught Bucky adjusting John’s beret before a mission.
Then Ava spotted the two sharing a quiet laugh in the hallway.
And at that point, the Tower had a problem.
A very stupid problem.
Everyone decided—separately, but unfortunately at the same time—that John Walker had a crush on Bucky Barnes, and that Bucky was obliviously protective of his little teammate back.
“They’re so blind,” Yelena declared in the kitchen, arms crossed.
“Painfully so,” Sam agreed, sipping his coffee like he was grieving something.
“We must intervene,” Alexei concluded with the confidence of a man who had never successfully intervened in anything.
Bob nodded solemnly. “Operation: Crush is a go.”
Ava sighed but didn’t stop them. She knew better. Chaos was coming whether she wanted it or not.
—
The Plan:
Step 1: Separate them.
Step 2: Make John talk about his “feelings.”
Step 3: Make Bucky talk about his “feelings.”
Step 4: Shove them into the realization that they’re obviously in love.
Easy.
Except for the part where John and Bucky were already dating.
—
The Attempt (Failure #1):
Yelena cornered John first.
“Tell me who it is.”
John blinked. “Who what is?”
“The one you’re crushing on.”
John nearly choked on his protein shake.
“I—what?”
“You blush more around them,” Yelena said, dead serious. “And you smile more. And you giggle.”
“I do not giggle.”
“You giggle like a schoolgirl with a secret.”
John covered his face with one hand. Not because she was wrong, but because she was so wrong about the reason.
He wasn’t going to lie, though. They said they’d answer truthfully if asked the right question.
“You’re asking the wrong thing,” John said as calmly as he could manage.
Yelena squinted. “So you ARE in love!”
“Oh my—no, yes, but—no,” John groaned.
She gasped. “IT’S BUCKY, ISN’T IT?”
John froze.
Yelena grinned like a wolf.
“Well,” he said slowly, “that is technically—”
But she had already sprinted out of the room yelling, “I WAS RIGHT!”
John put his head on the table.
—
The Other Attempt (Failure #2):
Meanwhile, Sam was interrogating Bucky.
“Do you like him?” Sam asked.
Bucky stared. “What kind of question—of course I like him.”
“No, no,” Sam said, waving a hand. “Do you like-like him?”
Bucky blinked. “We’re twelve now?”
“You stand too close to him,” Sam accused. “Your hand was on his waist for five whole seconds this morning.”
“He was in the way of the pan.”
“You moved him behind your back like he was fragile.”
“He was in the way of the pan.”
“You look at him soft.”
Bucky went very still.
Sam gasped. “OH MY GOD YOU DO.”
Bucky rubbed a hand over his face. “Sam. Buddy. You’re not asking the right thing.”
“Do you love him?”
“That’s still not the—”
“YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH JOHN WALKER!”
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”
—
The Intervention (Failure #3):
They dragged the two of them to the lounge.
Bucky arrived with the expression of a man walking toward his own execution.
John arrived with the expression of a man being dragged to his boyfriend in front of eight hyperactive meddlers.
They sat.
The group stood in front of them, arms crossed, deadly serious.
Ava sighed in the back.
Sam cleared his throat. “We know.”
John and Bucky exchanged a look.
“Oh boy,” John whispered.
Yelena stepped forward. “We know about the crush.”
Bucky closed his eyes.
John pinched the bridge of his nose.
Sam held up a PowerPoint clicker.
A slide appeared on the TV titled: JOHN WALKER’S MASSIVE CRUSH: A FIELD REPORT
“Oh my god,” Bucky muttered.
The next slide: Evidence:
– Blushing
– Smiling
– Giggles (confirmed)
– Follows Bucky with his eyes
– Becomes soft when Bucky enters room
– Heart eyes???? (pending confirmation)
“Y’all are out of your minds,” John whispered.
Bob cleared his throat. “We want to help you confess.”
John stared at him. “To… who exactly?”
“To Bucky,” Bob said confidently.
John slowly turned toward Bucky.
Bucky slowly turned toward John.
They both stared.
Then, at the same time, in perfect unison:
“We’re already dating.”
Chaos.
Alexei gasped. Yelena screamed. Bob dropped his tablet. Sam actually stumbled. Ava facepalmed so hard it echoed.
“You WHAT?!” Yelena yelled.
“How long?” Sam demanded.
“Three months,” Bucky answered.
“Three WHAT?!” Sam shrieked.
John shrugged helplessly. “You didn’t ask the right question.”
“And you two didn’t think to TELL US?” Yelena shouted.
“You thought I had a crush,” John reminded her.
“And you,” Sam said, pointing at Bucky, “you stood there letting us make a whole damn presentation!”
“I didn’t LET you,” Bucky said. “You just did it.”
Bob raised a hand. “So… you’re together?”
“Yes,” they both said.
Sam groaned. “This is why communication matters.”
“We communicated!” John argued. “Just—y’all interpreted it wrong!”
Yelena threw her arms in the air. “Well now we need a new slide deck!”
Ava rolled her eyes. “No we do not.”
—
Later that night, when things finally calmed down, John sat on the couch with Bucky curled next to him, head on John’s shoulder.
“Well,” John murmured, “could’ve been worse.”
“We could’ve lied,” Bucky said, amusement rumbling in his chest.
“We never lie.”
“No,” Bucky agreed, pressing a soft kiss to John’s jaw. “We just wait for people to ask better questions.”
John laughed quietly and pulled him closer.
Across the room, Sam glared. Yelena glared harder. Alexei squinted like he was trying to read an instruction manual in the dark. Bob muttered about updating his slideshow template. Ava just sipped her drink, fully done with everyone.
John tucked his face against Bucky’s hair to hide a smile.
Crush, he thought, amused.
Not anymore.
Not when he already had the real thing.