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What's In A Name?

Summary:

“So - names. Okay, any new ideas?”

“Well, you know, since we’ll be relocating to Germany anyway I thought we could look into some German names? See if anything sounds good?”

OR: Looking for a name for their baby boy, Nick and Charlie remember how they met.

Notes:

Hey, it's me again!
Happy Birthday AGAIN. My brain just wouldn't shut up, so you get something extra.

Many thanks to my beta Horny_sparklez!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“You know, we should really agree on a name. The due date is in a little over a week.”

Charlie went over to where Nick was sitting on the couch, bending down to place a kiss to his temple before he plopped down beside him. “Yeah, I know, Tori is constantly reminding me of how glad she’ll be to be rid of her huge belly.”

Nick chuckled and pulled Charlie into his side, kissing his curls. “Do you think she’s ever going to forgive us for putting her through this pregnancy?”

Charlie sighed. “I highly doubt it. I think it’s more likely she’s going to kill us both.”

“Have we thanked her enough for doing this for us? Carrying our little boy?”

“Nick, if you think you can do anything to alleviate Tori’s anger at us right now, you are gravely mistaken. We can only hope to make it up to her for the rest of our lives.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Nick mused. “Still, I’d have no one else have our child.” He kissed Charlie’s temple again.

“Me neither,” Charlie agreed, smiling. “So - names. Okay, any new ideas?”

“Well, you know, since we’ll be relocating to Germany anyway I thought we could look into some German names? See if anything sounds good?” He brought out his phone.

Charlie sat up. “Have you been googling again, Nicholas?” he smirked.

“Oi!” Nick laughed, but showed him his phone. He had pulled up a site with the header “Die schönsten Jungennamen – so findest du den passenden Jungennamen” (The most beautiful names for boys - this is how you find the fitting name for your boy)

“What is ‘Rossmann’?” Charlie asked, pointing to the name of the page.

“It’s something like a German drugstore chain. Anyway, have a look at the list.” He showed his husband the list of names on the site.

“Alfred? Are we going to raise Batman’s butler?”

Nick burst out laughing. “Maybe the short form? Look, Alfie. It means ‘counsellor of the elves’.”

“I don’t know,” Charlie mused, sounding doubtful. “Has a nice ring to it, but feels more like a name for a dog. Any other options?” he asked, scanning the list. “Oh, look here! Alvin!”

“Like Alvin and the chipmunks? He would never forgive us for that. What about this one here? Albert?”

“Seriously? You want to name our son after Queen Victoria's husband?”

“Geez, you’re right, hadn’t thought about that. Yeah, that’s a no go.”

“What about … oh, here! What about Richard? Works both ways, English and German.”

“Yeah, but think about family reunions! Do you really want to have your cousins call our son Dick?

“Ew, you’re right. Damit, this name business is harder than I thought.”

“Found it!” Nick exclaimed excitedly. “Detlef!”

Charlie stared at his oblivious husband. “No.”

“Hey, just no?”

Hard no.”

Nick looked at Charlie, baffled by his reaction. “I feel like I’m missing something here.”

“You might say that,” Charlie deadpanned. “Remember how we met?”

Nick stared blankly at Charlie. When the penny dropped, he looked horrified. “The rose?” he gasped.

“The very same,” Charlie nodded. “No way I’m naming our son that! How could you forget?”

Nick smirked and pulled Charlie into his arms. “Well, if anything it shows you how distracting you are, Mister Nelson-Spring.”

 

The room was pandemonium. Tori was screaming at the top of her lungs, as a new contraction hit her with full force, making her grasp Michael’s hand painfully hard. “I swear I’ll never forgive you for this!” she swore at Nick and Charlie. “What was I thinking? Next time you order your little one on Amazon!”

Charlie preemptively shoved his elbow into Nick’s side to stop his husband from laughing. Instead, Nick just snorted.

“Go away!” Tori screamed at them. “I swear, if either of you witnesses this I’ll haunt you for the rest of your lives!”

Michael looked at them. “I think you should really go. She means it, you know?”

“Oh, we know,” Nick and Charlie said in unison and left the room to await the arrival of their little one in the waiting lounge.

 

Three hours later a smiling nurse came to fetch them. When they reentered the room they saw a completely exhausted Tori smiling at a crying bundle in a nurse’s arms. She pointed to Nick and Charlie. “These are the proud dads, let them say hello.”

The nurse came over to them and placed a crying baby in Nick’s arms. Nick looked unsure and completely overwhelmed at the little human in his arms. Smiling, the nurse showed him how to hold it and where to place his hand to support the little head. Nick’s eyes filled with tears. He gently started to rock the baby in his arms, and the crying suddenly stopped. Charlie tentatively stepped closer and carefully stroked the little head, covered in dark hair. “Perfect,” he mumbled tearfully.

“Well, you two,” Tori smirked. “Time to say hello to your daughter.”

Nick and Charlie looked at her in surprise, then at each other. Finally, Nick looked back at the baby in his arms. “Well, I guess we could always name her Detlephine?”

Charlie snorted.

Notes:

"Detlephine" is a play on the French name "Délphine".

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