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Khadgar couldn’t remember the last time he had been carried.
Well, no actually, that was a lie. Khadgar wouldn’t remember the last time. He refused to - every time the memory crept up on him he squeezed his eyes shut until it passed. He blocked out the sweet scent of his mother, the way she kissed his forehead one last time before saying goodbye to him forever.
He was only six years old when it had happened, so that memory was equally fuzzy and painful. He refused to think about it.
Now at age twenty he found himself being carried once again.
“Lothar, this is entirely unnecessary.” Khadgar said as he clutched onto Lothar for dear life because because he was a grown man who had no idea how to handle being held and this was weird.
Lothar rolled his eyes, “You can barely walk, bookworm. This will be easier than you dragging yourself to your room.”
It was true. Khadgar had been practicing a spell when Lothar snuck up on him, causing him yelp and nearly blast his own foot off. Luckily, he jumped out of the way. Unluckily, he rolled his ankle in the process. And so, Lothar decided that he would tend to the mage. Apparently that involved strolling down the castle corridors with Khadgar in his arms.
As they rounded a corner a guard spotted them and stifled a laugh. Khadgar’s face turned red and he struggled in Lothar’s arms, trying to get the extremely stubborn Commander to put him down. It wasn’t working.
“But I’m heavy.” Khadgar protested, most his face pressed against Lothar’s chest.
Lothar scoffed at that. “Hardly.”
“People are staring.” Khadgar whined because if he was going to be treated like a child he might as well act like one.
“Let them.”
Khadgar groaned and Lothar chuckled. Khadgar liked how he could feel Lothar’s laugh, how he could feel the vibration of it on his cheek. Being carried around wasn’t completely awful. Just mildly humiliating.
And it was kind of nice how he could listen to Lothar’s steady heartbeat, feel the rise and fall of his chest.
Lothar had asked the first maid he saw to fetch some ice. And so, when they entered Khadgar’s quarters, there was a tray with ice waiting on Khadgar’s desk.
“I could have summoned ice.” Khadgar said as Lothar set him down on the bed. He winced as his ankle made contact with the mattress and not because he was sad that he wasn’t in Lothar’s arms anymore.
Khadgar watched Lothar place ice onto a linen towel and tie the corners.“It seems as though you haven’t been having the best luck today, spell-chucker. I don’t think Taria would be pleased if you froze me solid - on purpose or accident.” He said, approaching the bed. Khadgar frowned at him.
The bit his lip when Lothar pressed the ice to Khadgar’s skin. Lothar looked up at him with worry. “M’fine. It’s just cold.” It wasn’t just cold, his ankle hurt a lot, but he didn’t need Lothar worrying even more about him. It was swollen and tender and would probably be purple tomorrow. Lothar withdrew the makeshift ice bag.
“You should lay down.” Lothar said, grabbing an extra pillow. “And you prop your foot up.”
Khadgar nodded and shimmied further back onto the bed, trying - and failing - to avoid placing any pressure on his bad foot. He winced as he lifted the leg so that Lothar could place a pillow underneath. Gently, Lothar applied the ice once more.
“Is there anything else you need?” Lothar asked, his blue eyes piercing through Khadgar. The mage caught his eyes briefly before shaking his head. “Do you want me to stay with you?”
Yes. “No. You have duties to attend to.”
“Nothing my second in command can’t handle.” Lothar said. He left the ice on Khadgar’s leg and began shrugging out of his combat leathers that he wore over his plain clothes when he was in the barracks training soldiers. Khadgar watched as his shirt lifted, ever so slightly, revealing a strip of skin just above his waist.
“Lothar, it’s really not that important.” Khadgar said, blushing slightly because Lothar was stripping in his room. It was only something Khadgar thought about every night he had alone with himself.
Lothar ruffled the mage’s hair, “It’s important to me, spell-chucker.” Khadgar leaned into the touch, craving more. Lothar smiled, his hand drifted to Khadgar’s cheek and Khadgar closed his eyes in contentment. “Tell me to stay, Khadgar.”
“Stay.”
He hadn’t meant to say it with such desperation but he had and he couldn’t take it back now.
He also hadn’t expected Lothar to climb onto the bed and lay next to him. “Is this okay?”
“Uhhh.” Khadgar said blankly because Lothar was in his bed.
“I can move-“
Khadgar’s hand shot out without his permission, grabbing Lothar’s forearm. “No!” He let go, his cheeks reddening. “I mean it’s fine. I’m fine,” Khadgar huffed out a frustrated breath, “It’s fine.”
Lothar chuckled, “So you say.” He paused and rolled to his side so he could look at Khadgar. The mage froze. “Does it bother you when I touch you?” Lothar asked, his breath just barely grazing the side of Khadgar’s face. This was hardly fair because Khadgar couldn’t even move away. He thought he had gotten used to Lothar’s teasing but the Commander proved him wrong everyday. This had moved beyond teasing.
“N-no.” Khadgar stuttered.
Lothar inched closer, his lips nearly at the outer shell of Khadgar’s ear, his hand trailing up and down Khadgar’s arm. “Does it make you nervous?”
“N-“ Khadgar gasped, feeling the slightest brush of lips against his ear. “Yes.”
“Do you like it?” Lothar growled, wrapping an arm around around Khadgar’s waist.
“Yes.” Khadgar sighed, feeling Lothar press kisses to the side of his face, his ear, into his hair. “Gods, yes.”
“Good.” Lothar smiled. Lothar dipped his head to Khadgar’s collar, trailing his lips lightly against the exposed skin. Khadgar tangled his hands in Lothar’s hair. “It’s unfortunate about your leg, really,” He murmured against the mage’s neck. “but I have to say, I am enjoying taking care of you.”
“Seducing is more like it.” Khadgar said, running his hands down Lothar’s back, wishing he could do more. Damn that ankle
“Me? Seduce a mage? Never.” Lothar traveled back up to Khadgar’s face, their lips only inched apart. “Especially not an injured one, such as yourself.”
Khadgar rolled his eyes, “It’s your fault you know. You shouldn’t sneak up on mages.”
“Probably.” He pressed their foreheads together. “You shouldn’t keep your feelings from me.”
Khadgar blushed, “I didn’t know you felt the same way.”
“How much more flirting did I have to do?”
“I thought it was teasing.”
Lothar leaned down and kissed him, only for a second. “And do you think that was teasing.”
Khadgar rolled his eyes, “No.” He dragged Lothar back down and kissed him again, savoring the taste of his lips. Lothar was only half way on top of him, at an awkward diagonal to avoid accidentally knocking into Khadgar’s leg. They pulled apart. “But if you had just kissed me in the first place I think I would have gotten the message. And then maybe you wouldn’t have to sneak up on me while I’m casting.”
Lothar shrugged, “Maybe.” He nuzzled into back into Khadgar’s side, placing lazy kisses on the side of his head.
Khadgar had to admit, getting hurt did have it’s perks. Maybe he could even get Lothar to carry him around again.