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There was a rustling sort of excitement in knowing someone possibly has a crush on you, but they don't know that you know. The discovery Bucky had made forced him to look at John a little differently. He saw the man now, not the pawn, and he questioned how he could have gotten it so wrong years ago.
John was brave. John was selfless. John was a lot of good wrapped up in aggression and insecurities.
It made him want to mess the other man up. For now, that meant teasing him mercilessly, until John- flushed, eyes shining bright- snapped at him. “Shit Barnes, I thought you were supposed to be a charmer back in your day,” John snarled, a little past teasing. “Guess they got that wrong about you too, didn't they?”
Bucky didn't need to ask who “they” were- he already knew. He was in history books, museum exhibits, even newspaper articles. It had been jarring to see himself plastered on a wall in the Smithsonian. Everyone seemed to know who he was- who James Buchanan Barnes had been.
The Bucky of today wasn't that man.
His heart clenched around a realization. The photo he’d seen came to mind- his younger self grinning between Steve and a man he could only vaguely remember.
He wasn't the Bucky John had fallen in love with; it was his past self John wanted.
Bucky’s excitement dulled, but he still couldn’t stop himself from watching John. Every smile, every tic, every angle of his body, whether they were in a fight or relaxing around the Tower. Bucky drank it all up greedily. Guiltily.
It got to the point that the others on the team were starting to give him odd looks. Yelena in particular seemed both amused and concerned.
“You’re making him paranoid,” she told him mid-mission where they’d been paired up.
“Who?” Bucky asked, playing dumb. He checked the next corner.
She ignored it and swung around to cover him. “Walker.”
“He was already like that,” Bucky said. “He was like that when we first met.”
Yelena shrugged and crept a few paces along the wall. “He’s a soldier. Of course he’s paranoid.” She shot him a glance. “This is different.”
Bucky’s heart thudded in his chest. “Different how?” He stepped in a puddle and froze, holding up a hand to forestall Yelena from answering. They were silent for a long moment as he listened. When he only heard silence back, he lowered his hand and continued forward. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“I agree,” Yelena said. “Get it over with and put him out of his misery. Either tell him he has a chance with you, or stop looking at him like he’s your favorite chew toy.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He determinedly didn’t look at her.
Yelena huffed. “Of course you don’t.” She sighed. “Fine. Continue doing nothing then. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“You didn’t.” Bucky let her pass by to take the next corner.
“I did,” she affirmed. “You’re just too stubborn to listen.”
By the time they cleared the building, Bucky had come to a decision. Maybe he wasn’t the man from eighty years ago, maybe he wasn’t what John wanted- not now- but he could be what John needed.
He just had to make the other man see it.