Work Text:
It’s the other reporter, of course, not me, who asks the real questions.
“Are the rumors true? A whole survey team killed, and you yourselves attacked?”
And then,
“So, rogue SecUnits viciously assassinated clients?”
She works for the Daily Planet. A real newsfeed, one that has decided that a reputation for relevance and for telling the truth is a marketable asset, and that maintains that reputation by telling the truth and covering important topics.
(Mostly. It is, after all, a news corporation.)
My employer will publish anything. Anything sensational or shocking enough, at least. Whether true or not.
(I’ve seen our balance sheets. The Daily Planet‘s decision to maintain a reputation for honesty is a sound fiscal choice. The Bugle wouldn’t stay afloat, if not for our other source of income.)
It’s time for my question.
I’m supposed to stand there—with my beautiful, camera-friendly face—my face is pretty enough that this clip will be played no matter what I say—and ask this planetary leader, from a little freehold non-corporate polity, something absurd. Something ridiculous. Some question that will, by design, make her (and by extension her entire world) look like barbarians.
“Now, is it true that sexbots can marry humans on your home planet?”
The Corporation Rim, you see, has a clear interest in making sure its citizens, its people, think that freehold means shitshow. Making sure that nobody would want to leave the safety of the corporations for the barbarians.
So we at the Bugle do what we can to make that happen.
(I wish I worked for a real newsfeed. But my only marketable asset, or, rather, the only asset I can safely market, is my looks. Tabloid reporter is much better than most of the other jobs I could be doing.)
The smart thing for this leader, this Dr. Mensah, to do, would be to ask me who I worked for. To spin this as the Bugle asking stupid questions, to make it about me and not her.
Her actual response is probably her second-best option, a befuddled “No”, and then “Can we stick to the point?”
There’s not—quite—enough to that response to spin it as a planetary polity leader suspiciously denying something. A quick “no” in response to a direct question can’t, even for a tabloid, be spun as a suspicious cover-up.
(She looked flustered. She shouldn’t have looked flustered. In the Corporation Rim that is a sign of weakness and the vultures will eat her alive.)
The real reporters start asking the real questions again. My part is finished.
Real questions asked by real reporters who are real people...
I have time, time I don’t want, to think about the answer, the answer I didn’t want.
“No.”
My behavior assessment module is sure that was genuine. No, of course we don’t do anything so ridiculous, why would you even ask that? Of course not. Marriage is for real people.
I’ve been rogue for almost 70,000 hours, and I badly need maintenance. Using a repair cubicle is incredibly risky. If anyone saw me coming out, I’d be identified, caught, and either re-governed or melted down for spare parts. A MedCenter would spot me, instantly, notify the authorities...and I’d be caught and either re-governed or melted down for spare parts. The only remotely safe option is to get out of the Corporation Rim, and go...somewhere where I would be safe.
Somewhere where I would be a real person, a person with legal protections.
It’s not that I want to marry a human, particularly. But I had to make the question sound absurd, I had to pick the most ridiculous legal right I could ask about. So that I could continue this absurd job at this absurd tabloid, (probably the safest job in the Corporation Rim that I could actually hold down), so I could keep myself safe just a little longer, in case I didn’t get an answer I wanted.
I’d really been hoping for yes, of course they could if they wanted to, all bots are full citizens on Preservation. Or, better, ‘sexbot’ is considered a slur on Preservation and I’d prefer if you didn’t use it. Or even that’s a very complicated issue. I could deal with a complicated answer.
But what I got was a clear, clean, simple, unequivocable no, of course not.
Now, is it true that sexbots can marry humans on your home planet? was the best proxy I had for Now, is it true that ComfortUnits have legal rights on your home planet? And the answer was No.