Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Picking Waterboy over Phenomaman was easy, all things considered. Although Phenomaman was stronger, and had a better(?) reputation, and experience compared to Waterboy, the younger man had the eagerness and the willingness to try. Robert was convinced that Phenomaman had given up in that department. Blonde Blazer seemed relieved- if not a little apprehensive at first, setting the file down and looking to Robert.

“Can I ask why? I mean, I’m not upset or doubting your choices, but…”

“I think that Waterboy has the… temperament of a hero. He just needs that chance, ya know?” Robert leaned back in his chair, “I know that the Z-Team might give him shit, but everyone else got a second chance, why not give him a first?”

Blonde Blazer blinked and then opened up his file again with a little smile.

“Well I’m glad I didn’t start the paperwork yet. You didn’t see his charges in his file?” She slid it back to the dispatcher. Robert picked it up, looking at the nervous photo of the soon-to-be hero on the front page. He had looked at the file, sure, but his gut choice had been Waterboy; he wasn’t going to change it now. His brown eyes flicked to the bottom of the page.

Stalking. Attempted kidnapping.

Robert sucked in a breath and frowned as he flipped the page, expecting some type of explanation. 

“It was right after high school, supposedly. I asked him about it in his interview and well… he all but burst into tears and told me everything,” she explained with an almost pitying laugh, “He was dating someone and they stopped talking to him, and Waterboy wanted to keep tabs on them, until they started to date someone else. No one got hurt and he did a lot of community service,” she explained.

Robert continued to look at the damp auburn in the photo on the front of his sheet, fingers trading the hard paper edges before he winced at the papercut he ended up getting. 

“I already decided, and that was years ago. I think he’s a good kid. It’ll even out the team… what's the difference if the rest of them have a record too?” He joked as he stood up, passing the file back over.

Blonde Blazer smiled at the dispatcher with a kind of gaze that he couldn’t decipher. She had looked at him that way the first night they met, on the billboard overlooking the city. Robert always felt like something could happen between them, but he wasn’t built for relationships; he didn’t want to focus on it. The tapping of the files on the desk took him out of his daydreaming, his face going red.

“I’ll go let him know,” he said, wiping his hand against his shirt to get rid of the tiny bead of blood on his finger. Blonde Blazer voiced her confirmation with a cheery smile as Robert made his way to find the janitor- the hero.

Robert made his way down the hall, lost in thought about the events that led up to today. He was sure that Flambae was still mad about getting covered in cold spaghetti, but Waterboy didn’t deserve all of the shit that people put him through.

Waterboy had been so eager to talk to him before his interview, and he wasn’t even sure how long he had been standing behind him before gathering the courage to speak. Robert found the kid endearing, if not a little odd, but his comments made sense considering how clearly he idolized heroes. It took him back to the first time he met Waterboy.

Robert didn’t hesitate before moving next to him and helping him fix his tie. Maybe it was because he didn’t have anyone to tie his tie, or even teach him, considering his father was barely around to teach him. Or maybe it was because he looked helpless, crossing the tie and whispering to himself. 

“O-oh! N-no need- you don’t- n-need to do- no need for this-!” The soaking wet man seemed to move back slightly as Robert sat next to him, tugging the tie and the lanky man closer. Robert began to tie the fabric carefully, surprised that the slippery man didn’t smell weird- did he really just leak water?

His hands were wet as he finished knotting the fabric, still holding the tie as the doors swung open- Flambae. Robert ducked down and cursed in his head. Now? Of all times? He had just gotten into a fight with the villain turned hero, he did not want another one in the middle of SDN.

“W-wow- you- your face- is next- my face and your face- our faces- together-” Waterboy’s breath ghosted over his face and mask as Robert’s focus snapped back to Waterboy, and how he was basically in the younger kid’s lap. Waterboy- that's what the kid said his name was- was looking at him with big eyes, a nervous smile on his face.

“I know- know you. You’re Mecha Man… aren’t y- didn’t you? Dead? Aren’t you dead?” He asked softly. 

Robert looked up at him, eyes almost deadpan. He should’ve died in that suit. He should’ve been dead, just like his father and grandfather in the suit- but he had a chance again.

“Only on the inside, kid,” Robert mumbled. 

The area smelled overwhelmingly like deodorant and masculine perfumed body wash as he stepped into the bathroom, and it took him completely out of his first meeting with Waterboy. He had not been able to find the wet man in his search through the endless conference rooms and hidden janitor hallways.

Robert unbuttoned his uniform, mind lost in thought about preparations before Waterboy was introduced to the team, and maybe he could just stay at the center overnight. He could shower, eat whatever was in the vending machine- Beef had a bed and plenty of food here, it wouldn’t be his first or last night sleeping in a chair.

He sighed as he slung a towel around his waist, walking towards the back wall of the showers. It would be easier to stay at SDN headquarters than to go home to an empty apartment. He paused when he caught sight of the bright blue and yellow uniform, plastered to the lanky hero even more than usual, if that was possible.

“Oh! Ro- Mr. Rob-Robertson. Hel- Hii there,” He laughed a bit, stopping his motion of squishing something down the drain. 

Robert paused, one hand on his towel, and the other on his hip as he looked over the man, and then down to the mushy noodles he was attempting to get down the drain. Waterboy’s lackluster explanation for the noodles and the reason he was fully clothed in the shower made Robert snort and shift to lean against the entrance a bit. Waterboy’s expression shifted into one of clear admiration as Robert addressed him. 

“I-I wanted to- thank you- Blazer- the Blonde- Ms. Blonde Blazer told me I’m on the team now- and I-” he continued to flounder with his words, never seeming to land on a sentence that he could commit to. Robert didn’t interrupt him and waited patiently. He knew Waterboy was just nervous, and he thought that with time that Waterboy’s stutter would fade, even if he didn’t actually mind. 

Robert chuckled as he came into he shower, hanging his towel on a hook before standing under a shower head and turning a knob to blast the hot water.

“-and well I-I’m just-” Waterboy’s mouth dropped open a little as Robert was suddenly naked in front of him, and he couldn’t pull his gray eyes away from the scars that littered the man’s body, “I’m just- jizzed to join you!” he squeaked, unable to stop himself when the man was naked in front of him. 

Robert turned his head to look at Waterboy quickly, his hair now plastered to his face as he chuckled.

“Jazzed, it's jazzed- but me too,” he turned his head back to the nozzle as he pumped soap into his hands and began to lather it into his hair, “I know you’ll do a good job,” he said over the sound of two running faucets. There was a long pause, and Robert thought Waterboy was thinking, but then he spoke.

“Do- you- are you thinking of- me doing- will I do good?” Waterboy’s voice was suddenly right there, and Robert turned to look at the new hero quickly. Waterboy was right there next to him, gray eyes a little wide as they stared at him.

Robert sucked in a breath, the air thick and warm from the steam filling the area. His head didn’t move, but his eyes looked around rapidly for any reason why he suddenly was right there.

“U-uhm yeah bud. I know you’ll do a good job,” he tried his best to ignore the tense feeling that went down his spine, and ignore the fact that he was butt naked next to the fully clothed man, alone in the shower. 

Waterboy’s expression shifted from nervousness and worry to admiration and softness again, his eyes no longer seeming off. 

 
“We-Well, that’s- a relief- I’m- relieved, and thank- well you are great! Thanks- Rob- Mr. Robertson S-Sir,” Waterboy said before backing up to his own shower and turning off the water.

“I’ll- see you! Tomorrow- the next- shift is to-tomorrow- so we- will see each- tomorrow!” Waterboy waved as he backed up and then left the locker room without even drying off. 

Rober assumed the man had a waterproof car, or at least ways to protect the vehicle, but he was not sure the building was the same, and wet splotches would be found trailing out to the parking lot. However, as Robert plopped himself in his chair to think of different team-building activities and ways to synergize the Z-Team, he realized he didn’t see any wet footprints leaving the bathroom. 

In the middle of the night, as he used the bathroom and made himself a cup of coffee, his brown eyes flicked to the hallway, where there were sopping wet footprints. Robert frowned, sipping his coffee as he walked back to the desk, before setting his cup down and looking out the window for any sign of Waterboy. Maybe he stayed late for training after learning he got onto the team? Robert didn’t find his car in the parking lot, a little blue Beetle that used to be his grandmother’s.

Robert realised he was spending way too much time thinking about Waterboy, and so he went back to his desk. After a few more hours of working, the coffee stopped working, and he crashed at his desk, fast asleep.

Herman made his way out of the locker room, holding his breath as if he could also turn invisible and Robert wouldn’t catch him leaving. He got into his Beetle, the seats crinkled under his thin legs as he fumbled with the keys, breathing heavy and attempting to get his nerves to calm down.

As the engine turned over, he took a deep breath, wiping his hands against the plastic-covered steering wheel, an exhilarated giggle leaving his mouth. He quickly pulled out of the parking lot, made his way back to his grandmother’s place, and let himself internally celebrate. 

He had done it. He was a hero now! On the Z-Team and with Robert as his boss. Anxiety swirled in his gut as he took the familiar route home. What if he messed up? What if everyone hated him? What if they made fun of his stutter or things got so bad he had to leave? What if Robert never wanted to see him again?

By the time Herman had finished spiralling, he realized he was at home, parked and just sitting in his car, in his own little puddle of worry and despair. He knew he could spend at least another hour stewing in the car, but his grandmother liked to wait for him, and it was late.

Herman slid out to his car, wearing sweats and a matching jacket with the SDN logo that he had been gifted as a new hero, and opened the door slightly to slip his thin body in. His grandmother had four different cats, and although none of them tried to get out, he didn’t want to risk losing one of them. He loved them very much and took care of them when his grandmother was too tired or simply forgot.

He shuffled in, seeing that their bowls of food and water were full. He shuffled to the living room, seeing that the light was off. His grandmother must have gone to bed. He went to the kitchen and saw a note on the microwave.

I made a casserole, Herm! It’s in the microwave. I love you and hope you had a great day

Love, Grandma

Hermans felt his smile widen. He loved when his grandma made casserole! He was excited to tell her about how his day went. He got to talk to Robert again, and he got to see him naked. The thought made him go red again, he hadn’t been able to control himself, crossing the area so quickly to get to the dispatcher, to study the scars that littered him. 

Herman sucked in a breath as he watched the microwave slowly spin his food around, warming it up. His thoughts drifted back to Robert, how he was standing there, dripping in water, the droplets going from the bridge of his nose and dripping down and onto his chest, which riveted down through the softening muscles- 

BEEEEEP

The sound of the microwave made the young adult yelp, liquid spraying off of him and hitting the countertops as he fumbled with the microwave buttons desperately. He let out a breath, cooling himself down before cleaning the counters and taking the hot plate out of the microwave. 

On his way to his room, he passed two of the cats and whispered a soft greeting to them as he shuffled by. He sat on his bed, the cover crinkling as he balanced his plate on his knee. He didn’t eat in his room often, but sometimes he would sneak off to watch TV while he ate. He pulled up the recent Mecha Man videos, watching his interviews and recent fights, imagining Robert in the suit. Herman knew that this level of interest was alarming, and after years of therapy, he should’ve been completely over these obsessive tendencies. But Robert brought that rush of exhilaration that came with being cared about; he didn’t move away from him during their first meeting, and Herman dared to think they flirted when they first met. 

Herman ended up falling asleep watching the most recent interview of Mecha Man, thinking about the eyes on the screen that looked at him with such kindness earlier. 

The next morning, Herman woke up early to take care of the cats. He scooped the litter boxes- all six of them- gave them fresh water, fed them breakfast, and gave each of them their daily dose of pets. He was kneeling in the living room, Fluffy and Mittens in front of him and rolling desperately for Herman’s attention when he heard his grandmother shuffling down the hallway.

“G-Good morning! How’d you- it's morning- Grandma,” he said, and then immediately dove into talking about what happened yesterday. 

He managed to exclude the part where he saw his boss naked, even if he was thinking about it all night, and now most of the morning; he hoped he didn’t say something even more embarrassing than jizzed to meet you to his boss. Thank goodness Robert was such a good and kind person.

“Oh, Herm, that’s wonderful, sweetie. I always knew you’d be a hero…” she said sweetly, making Herman feel like this was all worth it if he made her proud too. After an eventual breakfast with his grandmother, he went to work, determined not to make a fool of himself. 

Herman swung by the donut shop first, getting an assortment for Robert and going to deposit it on his desk when he realized the man was still at his desk, but sleeping. Herman slowly crept closer, wearing the same matching tracksuit he left in, and set the donuts on the side, being very careful. He felt successful in his stealth attempt until Beef began barking, startling Robert awake.

The dark-haired man shouted as Beef began to bark, reaching up and grabbing Herman’s collar before swinging him against the cubicle and pinning the lanky man there, breathing heavy. Herman yelped, his hands going up as he was pinned against the thin wall, his gray eyes looking at Robert’s face, to the hands gripping his sweater, to Robert’s mouth- this is the third time we’ve been this close… he thought with an almost dreamy expression.

He didn’t realize Robert had been saying something and rubbing his shoulders until Robert began to wave his hand in front of Herman’s face.

“-erboy? Hey, are you okay? Shit, I didn’t mean to scare you, Waterboy.” his voice was soft, and Herman realized that Robert thought he was terrified. 

“Oh-oh! Oh, I’m alr-aaaokay- I am good here!” Herman breathed, trying to stop himself from spitting up water all over the man’s chest. He kept his eyes there, eyes trailing down when he realized he had been swung and landed right on top of the donuts, ruining them with his soaking body, the clothes sticking to him now.

Robert huffed out a laugh, although it sounded more sad than amused.

“You brought me donuts?” He asked, his voice still rough with sleep, which Herman found himself oddly fixated on.

“Y-yes- yeah- well you- got me a j- two jobs- and thank- its a thank- you. Thank you,” Herman breathed. He tried his best to ignore the heat flushing through his body. He knew Robert was strong, but he didn’t have any powers, and he still swung him around like a wet noodle.

“Changed- my clothes- I am- changing my clothes- they’re sticky- I am- now I have donut- all over my- my uhm- well my b-butt,” Herman went red as Robert’s lips curved into a patient smile.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, kid. I didn't mean to throw you around like that. You don't have to thank me for everything either, Waterboy; you did this on your own. You worked hard for it,” he said, placing a hand on his shoulder, before dropping it and picking some crumbs from his side.  

Herman sucked in a breath, moving out of his grasp quickly before he soaked his desk completely and ruined his carpet. He felt bad, knowing that the liquid was going to need to be mopped up, and Robert probably needed a roll of paper towels for his desk and filing cabinet, but he could not stop thinking about how grateful he was that he stopped for donuts as he dressed for his first shift as a superhero.

Robert knew that sleeping overnight at work was not one of his brightest ideas, but at least he was properly prepared in case anything happened with this upcoming shift, if he could stay awake for it. But pinning Waterboy to his cubicle? He was sure the nervous man would quit before his first shift even started. 

He rubbed under his eyes tiredly, the smell of coffee wafting from the breakroom as he attempted to drink at least a glass of water to wash down the taste of toothpaste before he moved on to caffeine. 

“Long night? Who’d you spend it with?” A snarky comment came from beside him, and he looked over to see Invisigal leaning against the counter and staring at him with an unimpressed gaze.

“And wouldn’t you like to know?” Robert replied dryly. He waited for a sharp comeback or reply, but when he looked at her again, he saw that she was still staring at him.

“Wait- seriously? You think I slept with someone? And you think I’m going to tell you who?” He raised an eyebrow as Visi rolled her eyes and pushed herself off of the counter to come to his other side. He knew that Invisigal was interested in him, and they might have flirted here and there, but he didn’t expect her to ask him such a personal question outright.

“As much as I need a one-night stand- I was here late preparing to help your asses out with the incoming calls,” he said as he finished his glass of water and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee into his SDN mug.

Visi glared for a second and then looked back to Robert before an easy smile was placed on her face.

“Hah you’re right. You wish you could get laid and have a one-night stand. And also? You have to cover for our asses because you’re the one who fired Sonar,” she said.

Robert stared her down, back throbbing from the way he had slept on his desk. 

“Next time, we can just cut you if it would make things easier,” he said before the break room was silent. Invisigal seemed to close up again before disappearing and leaving the room. Robert sighed as he looked down at his coffee cup. All of that progress with Visi seemed to go down the drain after just one or two bad interactions.

Robert wasn’t sure if she would be willing to work with Waterboy at all this shift, or Malevola for that matter. He knew that the Z-Team was going to take some warming up, but he was prepared. He had his coffee, his daily communication failure, and he got to see Waterboy before his first shift. He slid his headset onto his head and took a deep breath. Time to start the day.

What could go wrong?

Chapter Text

Herman did not think his first shift could get any worse. After a messy introduction where he was immediately called Pissboy and Waterbitch, he was sent on a few missions with Punch Up and Golem. Golem did not seem up for talking as they rescued a few kittens from being stuck in trees. Waterboy kept attempting to make conversation, make friends, or be himself, as his Grandma would say. Golem didn’t seem interested.

Talking to Punch-Up was even worse somehow. Everything he said got turned into a joke or shot back at him, and by the end of the traffic jam they directed, he just decided to stop talking altogether. After Herman stopped speaking up, aside from volunteering to go do small things alone, the shift went by a lot quicker. 

After cleaning someone's house, it was dinnertime. He made his way back to SDN headquarters. He trudged to get his fruit basket, which had been lasting him a while, and went to the janitor's closet; at least there no one would bother him. He picked the melon pieces off the stick, wondering if Robert's choosing him had been a mistake. Maybe he was meant to be a janitor. He sniffled, unable to help the burning sensation of tears that came with thinking about his future. He just wanted to do something right.

He swallowed as there was a knock on the door. He held his breath and hoped whoever was there would go away. Fate decided he was unlucky, and the door opened, a golden light illuminating the cleaning products opposite him.

“Waterboy? What are you doing in here?” Robert’s honey smooth voice came from the hallway, and Herman melted a bit.

“O-oh no-I’m doing noth- eating? In- here yeah...” he swallowed and looked away as Robert came in, the skittering of paws following him. 

“Here, Beef always makes me feel better,” He said as the chubby dog was placed into his lap. Waterboy couldn’t help but laugh as the dog licked his cheek a bunch and wiggled in his arms. Robert was right, as always. Beef did help. He looked over to see Robert sitting down on a bucket, looking at him with eyes that made Herman want to tell him everything. 

“What’s going on?” He finally asked.

Waterboy hesitated and was quiet for a while. Robert always gave him space and time to talk, and he appreciated it.

“Everyone on the team- they hate- don’t like- me- my stutter- everything, I am- am a bad- hero,” Herman stuttered, feeling ashamed for feeling so own after his first day. He knew he just needed to try harder, do better, be more competent. 

“They don’t hate you, Waterboy. I think each of them has been the smallest guy before… They want to make sure they don’t feel that way again. But they shouldn’t be assholes to you,” he said. Waterboy just shrugged in response, his throat feeling tight as he looked down. 

“Do you want to know what I think?” Rober asked, and chuckled as Waterboy nodded immediately.

“I think you did a great job. Most of your calls you completed whether you were alone or paired up with someone,” Robert said and touched his shoulder, “Fuck what everyone else thinks, you did hero work and you succeeded. You would’ve been proud of yourself a month ago, why not now?” He questioned.

Waterboy blinked back tears, maybe Robert was right. A month ago he couldn’t have seen himself as a hero, and now he was- he had helped people today! He sniffled and smiled a bit. 

“Y-You’re right. T-Thank you, thanks.. Mr-Sir-Rober-Sir,” he stuttered. Robert chuckled and rubbed his shoulder before letting him go, but he didn’t wipe his hand or seem utterly disgusted.

“How about, you meet me at a bar tonight yeah? It’s a nice night out and I think it would be good for you,” Robert’s eyes were soft as he looked at him.

Waterboy’s mouth dropped open for a second and his heart leaped into his throat. Robert- Mecha Man- wanted to take him out to a bar?

“I-I’d love- my- I’d have to- sure! When is- I’d love to be there- meet you there,” he sputtered, a shy smile spreading across his face as he looked at his dispatcher. This was like a date!

Robert chuckled at his eager reaction, “Good! Good. I’ll see you around eight then? I’ll text you the address,” he said as he stood up.

Waterboy smiled nervously, ducking his head as he was left alone in the janitor's closet. He would have to go home and get changed, he could talk to his grandmother a bit and tell her he was going out with someone, but he didn’t want to worry her or give her any ideas. He decided he would tell her that he was going out with a friend. 

Eight came around a lot quicker than Waterboy had anticipated, and he was standing outside of the bar with a nervous expression. He was wearing a blue sweater and jeans, and now he was sure he was going to be bullied or kicked out because people were wearing different clothes. Not to mention, Golem was sitting outside.

“H-Hey G-Go-Big guy, I didn’t think - you- are here?” He asked, wiping liquid from his chin as he glanced at the crowded bar through the window.

“Yeah, it's a team-building activity,” Golem said plainly, leaving Waterboy reeling for a second, “you missed the first few rounds of shots too.”

Of course, this wasn’t a date. Robert had invited him to a team date because he wanted them all to grow closer. Waterboy pressed his hands to his eyes and made an embarrassed noise.

“Ooooooh okay, okay then hah- yeha makes- yup okay-” he went into the bar with a tense expression. Maybe he could turn this around! Could they dance together? Herman felt embarrassed and ashamed for the amount of overthinking he had put into his outfit when it hadn’t mattered at all. 

He ordered himself a beer, knowing it would make him tipsy for ten minutes before the feeling went away. He swallowed the hoppy-tasting liquid before scanning the area for the other Z-Team members. 

Herman almost spit out the beer in his mouth when he saw a very drunk Robert with his arm slung across the back of a booth, and Invisigal right under his arm. Robert’s cheeks were red- from alcohol or laughter- and Invisigal seemed to lean into him more as their conversation progressed. 

Waterboy was gripping the beer bottle so hard he was sure it would break. His steel eyes stared at the two, and he went through every situation in his mind to go over and insert himself into the conversation, but everything felt too awkward or forced. He didn’t move from his position until Robert slid out of the booth and wavered for a second. The dispatcher waved to Invisigal before making his way towards the bathrooms on uneven footsteps.

Waterboy didn’t hesitate before following Robert into the bathroom.

Robert didn’t remember if it was beer before liquor or liquor before beer- but he had gone back and forth twice now, and he was sure he was going to be sick the next morning. He had excused himself from the table where he had been talking Invisigal, and realized once again that he did not have superpowers to help digest the alcohol. 

Robert braced himself against the sink as someone retched into the toilet, the noise coming from the first stall. The room reeked of stomach acid and some type of fruity vape smoke as he tried his best to focus on the sink in front of him.

His hands scooped water and then splashed it against his face, the chill making the room stop spinning for a second. This was supposed to be team bonding, not an excuse for Robert to get utterly shit faced and make an embarrassment of himself. He sucked in a breath, his gaze going from the sink to the mirror before choking on the air in his throat.

Waterboy was right behind him, his gaze hard and expression unreadable as Robert spun around to look at him. He tried to speak, but his tongue felt thick and useless in his mouth. Waterboy stepped forward, his long gait making the movement quick for the taller man. His damp hand went to Robert’s waist to steady him so he didn’t fall into the running sink.

“Y-you- the- you’re drunk- Mr. Rob- Sir- Robertson Sir,” he sputtered as his other hand came up to wipe away the little droplets that were running down Robet’s face. The shorter man was struggling to comprehend what Waterboy was saying, but then he laughed a bit, finding the situation far funnier than it actually was.

“Mmmhm. That’s what happens when youuu drink alcohol bud,” he said with an easy-going smile on his face. Waterboy’s intense expression didn’t seem to waver as his gray eyes took in Rober’s expression, how loose his body was, how he was almost falling over without Waterboy keeping him upright. 

“Do youuu uhh drink? Waterboy?” He asked, exhaling a chuckle as he slid against the counter a bit, his back now getting damp from the sink. Was he always meant to be covered in water? The gray eyes looking down on him seemed to shift, a bit nervous as he lifted one shoulder in a pathetic shrug. 

“Well- I do- have drank- I drink- but I can’t drunk- get drunk that is,” Waterboy, his other hand wiping away more little droplets of water, even though he was just leaving more water on the dispatcher’s face. 

“I- make, lots of water- so my system- it flushes- the drinks- effects- they don’t stay, l-long,” the auburn finished, his grip tightening on the brunette in front of him, his eyes still seemed upset, and Robert assumed it was because he couldn't get drunk.

“That sucks, Waterboy, I’m sorry,” Robert slurred a bit. He knew he needed water before he drank anymore, or he’d be passed out on a table before the night ended. Robert’s mind shifted to water again, as always when the lanky kid was around him. His brown eyes were lidded, and stuck on Waterboy’s, since he did produce water. He was thirsty, and his mouth felt very dry. 

I want water so bad, he thought idly, not really sure where this conversation with Waterboy was going.

Robert felt his hip becoming steadily wetter and colder from Waterboy’s grip, and surprisingly against his leg. He looked down to see their bodies pressed together, and he knew everyone on the Z-Team would know he was too drunk to stand upright and now Waterboy was keeping him upright. 

He looked up at Waterboy, sucking in a breath when their noses were almost touching. Waterboy’s expression was intense, and Robert felt like he couldn’t breathe as Waterboy stared at his lips. 

“I-is that- you wa- what you- you want-wanted water?” Waterboy’s voice was nervous, but he wasn’t pulling away and he wasn’t letting Robert pull away. Robert swallowed, throat bobbing as he realized he must’ve been thinking out loud. His head was swimming with alcohol, fuzzy on the edges as he realized that Waterboy was offering him a drink.

A drunk laugh bubbled up from his throat, their noses bumping as Robert tilted his head up. Waterboy leaned in at the invitation and seemed to hesitate, their lips barely apart and his eyes open, worried.

Robert’s eyes had fluttered shut and he was waiting, lips parted slightly as he waited, but Waterboy pulled away, his chest moving quickly and his face red with embarrassment. Robert felt dazed, idly wondering if he had done something wrong before Waterboy began to ramble nervously.

“I- want- you’re dru- drinking. You’re drunk- Ro-Robert-” his expression seemed utterly torn and Robert could not understand why.

“Hey. Hey, it’s s’okay, Waterboy, I shouldn’t have- hah said that out loud. You’re right, I am drunk,” Robert said, feeling disappointment in his gut as Waterboy let go of him completely and stepped away, as Robert had burnt him.

The silence stretched between them, and Robert suddenly wished he were the one throwing up in the stall as another round of retching filled the area. He opened his mouth to apologize again, but Waterboy turned and left the bathroom quickly, leaving a puddle and wet footprints behind him.

Robert let out a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding and turned back to the mirror, seeing his face flushed, probably from the alcohol, nothing else. His face was damp, and so were his sides and some parts of his jeans from where Waterboy had been pressing against him. He took another deep breath; he did need to get a glass of water.

After he left the bathroom, he didn’t see any signs of Waterboy, besides wet marks here and there, but the man was lost in the bar crowd. He made his way back to the table where he had left Invisigal, and was glad to see his drink had been replaced with water. 

“Aww, did you throw up?” Visis teased him as he sat down and let out a sigh, “You were gone for so long, I was sure your ass had passed out in a stall,” she snickered as she pushed the ater cup towards him.

Robert picked up the cold glass and took a few drinks, the cold liquid sliding down his throat. He already felt more sober compared to just a few minutes earlier with Waterboy. 

“Haha. If I passed out, why didn’t you come looking for me?” He asked, “Some friend you are…”

“Is that what we are? Friends now?” Visi asked as she messed with something on the table, always needing something to fidget with, “I thought we had something more going on, but I see you have eyes for Blazer then.” Her clipped tone made him frown as he looked at her, “But no. I saw Waterboy go in and assumed he’d help you out,” she looked at the wet marks on his clothes.

Robert cleared his throat and lifted his head at the mention of Waterboy. He scanned the bar again but ended up looking back at the short-haired woman.

“Look, Visi,” he started, “I get it. People around us suck, most of the time. So when someone comes around that believes in you, you can get attached. I’m not going anywhere, but I’m not interested in you that way...” he said, and the air was tense again. Thank god he had water to get him sober enough for this conversation. 

Invisigal seemed to go through different expressions, and she seemed to want to say something, but she just rolled her eyes and looked at Robert like he was stupid.

“It was only because I had that dream about you,” she deflected, and Robert’s lips twitched into a smile.

“Yeah, that’ll do it,” he said as he took another drink, then choked, “Wait, did you say Blonde Blazer-? No- is that what people are saying?”

Visi shrugged and leaned back against the booth before rolling her eyes again.

“I’m guessing that’s a no on her, too? So you’re just all alone in that apartment?” She asked. 

Robert didn’t like to get defensive; he didn’t like to defend how he lived to other people. He lived the way he was meant to so he could be Mecha Man. He gave everything to be Mecha Man, and he would give everything up again to follow the legacy that was set out for him. He couldn’t help the edge that was evident in his tone as he responded.

“I have Beef, what's up with you being so interested in who I sleep with?” He asked as he finished his glass of water, wiping his mouth. Invisigal’s expression shifted to a more serious one as she debated being truthful with him.

“Royd told me what the inside of your apartment looked like, and Beef is at the dispatch center all the time, and Waterboy mentioned finding you asleep at your desk this morning. What is going on, Robert? Why don’t you spend time at home?” She turned the questions around on him.

Robert felt exposed, too vulnerable, too tipsy for this conversation. He rolled his eyes, finding himself deflecting the same way Visi would’ve.

“Oh yeah, boo hoo me. I am so alone and sad and depressed,” he said in a sarcastic, monotone voice. But Visi wasn’t having it; she pushed his shoulder and huffed. 

“Seriously man… You said you’re not going anywhere, and I just want to make sure,” she swallowed, uncomfortable with being so vulnerable. She huffed and lit another cigarette, not wanting to deal with the odd look Robert was giving her.

“I appreciate your concern Visi, but I am more than fine,” he insisted, even if the words felt rehearsed. Like something you tell yourself as you fall through the sky, or as you stand at a funeral, as you stare at yourself in the mirror and wonder if it will ever get better, if this is just another rough patch.

“Yeah? Prove it. Let loose, have a wild night,” she goaded as she motioned to the people littering the bar, “Punch Up and Coupe have left already, Malevola and Prism are doing Karaoke, I’m sure I saw Waterboy leave, what’s wrong with you living for once?” She asked, staring at him intensely, knowing he wouldn’t do it, “Or you can confess that you’re alone-”

Robert stood up and glared at her as he stalked off from the booth. Robert would blame the alcohol in his system for the way he reacted. He wasn’t alone; he was surrounded by people constantly. He had Beef! The Z-Team- they were people around him.

He realized he was back at the bar, swallowing and trying to wrack his brain for someone he actually felt close to. He was close with Chase, as close as someone could be after years of distance, because Robert was too busy throwing himself into training and work to connect with Chase after his father died. 

His throat closed at the thought of his father again. He didn't understand why he was so torn up about it; he barely talked to the guy and yet- a chill went down his spine like he was being watched. He looked over his shoulder to glare at Invisigal, but frowned when she wasn’t looking at him, but was talking with someone else who had sat down.

He looked back to the bar and sighed, maybe Visi was right, maybe he did need a night with someone else, to forget everything else- and it couldn’t be with someone from the Z-Team, that would make everything worse. He ordered shots, downing one after another. The music seemed to swell as the liquor hit his system. The bar was hot, full of people dancing, throwing darts, yelling- Robert pressed his hand to his face and took a breath before forcing himself out and onto the dance floor.

He was too far gone to think about who was grabbing him as the bodies pressed closer and the music took over. Someone’s hands were on his sides, his own hands were grabbed and pressed against a body. Robert’s gaze focused enough through the dizzying display of lights as he focused on the plump woman in front of him. His lips quirked into a smile as she leaned into Robert, her body soft against his own. 

The music pulsed around them, other bodies caging them in as they danced. The woman’s wavy hair brushed her shoulders as she moved her body to the bass of the song. Robert’s brown eyes went from her soft hair, to her piercing gray eyes, to the deep V line of her top before his gaze snapped to her round face apologetically for being caught.

The woman just smiled coyly and tugged him closer, and Robert knew he had found someone with whom he could spend the evening. In the back of his head, he felt eyes on him, and he hoped Visi saw him, so maybe she would finally leave him alone. The woman turned around, her hips now pressing against Robert’s as the song changed. Their bodies moved together, and for a second, he forgot about everything except for the soft hips he was holding and the deep bass of the music around him. His eyes flicked upwards over the woman’s head, locked eyes with the color gray.

Waterboy.

Robert blinked, and he was gone. He whipped his head around, body not moving to the beat as he tried to find the man. He must’ve imagined him, because Waterboy was nowhere to be seen. The woman in front of him seemed to notice the change in his body language, because she shifted to look at him and smiled, moving and beckoning him towards the bar. 

Robert didn’t remember much after he sat down with her. He remembered the burning feeling of the liquor sliding down his throat, and leaning down to kiss soft lips in the corner of the bar. He remembered the cold feeling of air on his face, and the world was spinning.

He remembered looking up in gray eyes as they laid him on the couch, stripping him down to his underwear, and distantly he felt Beef curl up next to him. Robert mumbled something, confused on where exactly he was, but he was asleep before he could dwell on it.

Herman could not believe he was in Robert’s apartment, with the man currently. He was leaking water profusely onto the hardwood flooring of Robert’s room as he stared at the man, who was currently snoring with Beef curled under his arm.

He knew he shouldn’t have intervened with Robert making friends and meeting new people, but then she took him to a corner and his hands were on her hips, and her hands were on his chest, sliding down, and she was kissing him-

Herman made a nervous and upset noise as Robert shifted in his sleep. He knew he should’ve just let him be, Invisigal had been pushing his buttons earlier and Robert had seemed upset. What had she said to him to make him that upset? Was he upset because of something he did?

Taking a deep breath, Herman located some towels and cleaned up the mess he made, leaving the wet towel next to Robert’s dirty clothes. He left his wallet and keys on the counter, the ID still glossy with liquid from when he checked Robert’s address. 

He had felt a disgusting thrill as he laid Robert in the backseat of his car, sliding his hand into Robert’s pocket to take out his wallet. He was far too drunk to be kissing people in a bar, and he needed help getting home. There was nothing wrong with helping your boss get home right?

He flipped open the wallet as he slid into the front seat, the leather making a squelching noise as he sat down. Herman slid the ID out of the flap and looked at the address on the card. He let out a soft noise as he gazed at the little picture. He would need a new ID in a few years, but the soft brown eyes gazed back at him. He couldn't help but snap a picture of the information, just in case, of course.

The taller, wetter man drove Robert home, helping him out of the car and supporting his weight. He had to be hunched a bit in order to keep Robert’s arm over his shoulder and his own hand on the man’s waist to steady him.

“E-easy- th- care-careful Ro-Robert, take a- lift- life your foot Robert-” he struggled to lock the car and get Robert inside, but he did it! He used one hand to press Robert against the elevator wall and his other hand to pick the floor. He shifted as the elevator door closed and looked at the drunk man in front of him.

“Yerrrrr prettyyy hah- pretty,” Robert slurred as his unfocused gaze bounced around Herman’s face. The soaking wet man turned an even deeper shade of red as he nervously laughed.

“You- you think I’m- said I- I look- wow you-” Herman frowned when he got an overwhelming waft of alcohol from the man, “you- are- are drunk. M-more so than- previous- the o- earlier,” he said in a deflated tone before the elevator doors opened again. He helped Robert down the hall before leaning him against the wall.

Robert made a drunk noise, placing his face against the wall and groaning. Herman fumbled with the keys and finally unlocked it. The door swung open to a barking Beef, who quieted once he saw it was Herman coming in with Robert. 

“H-hey there- p-puppy- Beefy- Mr.- The Beef,” he said with a nervous smile as he shuffled in with Robert. He got the man onto the couch before kneeling to pet the dog that was excitedly licking the water off of his hands, and then his wrist. Herman let out a little laugh as he pet the dog, a soft smile on his face. He understood why Robert cared so much about Beef, and he seemed more okay with the water than the cats at home.

The hero located the water and kibble bowl on his own. He filled them up, trying his best to clean up the water he left behind with towels. Beef seemed interested enough to sniff the piles as they were placed. Herman looked to Robert, seeing how soft and at peace he looked while sleeping. He was pulling out his phone to timidly snap a few photos before Beef began to bark. 

He yelped, fumbling with his phone before looking back at the dog like he had broken his trust. Herman pouted a bit as he took Beef out to use the bathroom, scooping his waste and depositing it into the nearby trash can. He went back inside and watched as Beef jumped onto the couch to curl up with his owner. 

Herman smiled, coming over to stare down at the two. He paused at the sight of lipstick on Robert’s collar. Water roared in his ears, and he didn’t realize he was undressing Robert until the shirt was flung across the room. He flushed, hands leaking onto Robert’s jeans as he unzipped them and pulled the denim off. He grabbed a blanket and placed it over the dispatcher, watching the muscles in his face relax even more now that he was comfortable. 

Herman ripped himself out of the memory of undressing Robert. He really needed to get things together in his head before he slipped even further into his growing obsession with Robert. He couldn’t help it; Robert basically asked him to spit in his mouth earlier at the bar- he did not know how he was going to handle this. 

Waterboy backed himself out of the apartment, locking the door behind him and leaving with a sense of peace knowing that Robert was home safe, and without a stranger in his bed- his couch? Did Robert have a bed?

Herman got home quickly. His weekend was spent taking care of his grandmother and their cats, which he didn’t mind; however, his mind was elsewhere. He was thinking about how Robert was doing. Was he hungover? Did he remember last night? Was he upset with Waterboy? Did everyone else know?

His grandmother caught him worrying and ruminating after the second cat came to her, hissing and soaked in water. Herman assured her it was just work and drama that he was worried about. He already knew that everyone’s expectations were on the floor by now; he just hoped he could make it up to Robert.

By Monday, Herman was mentally exhausted from doing mental gymnastics in his head. He got to work and ended up in a conference room with the rest of the Z-Team before anyone was set out for their first part of the shift. He was sandwiched between Malevola and Punch-Up, but he didn’t see Robert yet. His stomach turned as he looked at Malevola.

“M-Ma’am have- do you know- we- are in here? Why are we? Have you-”

“No, Waterboy. I don’t know why we're here,” the red-skinned woman interrupted Waterboy as she looked to someone else, “We’re just as in the dark as you are.”

“Heh, yeah lad, we aren’t all elbow deep in our boss’s arsehole,” Punch-Up snickered, which made the entire room laugh and Waterboy turn a deep shade of red. 

“I-I’m not- elbow?? No- Why would- I-” Waterboy sputtered paethitically as he waved his hands in front of him, but everyone just continued to laugh. Flambe leaned forward from across the table as he mocked the willowy man.

“I- What- Who- Eh- Shut the fuck up, Wet Fart Boy. We’re just fucking with you,” he said, eyes glaring at the kid to say one more word. Herman wanted to defend himself, wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up and make fun of the fact that he had no eyebrows, but his shoulders hunched over, and he looked down. 

The conference doors swung open, and Robert strode in. He looked at everyone, meeting Waterboy’s eyes as well. Waterboy expected his facial expression to change to discomfort or upset because of Friday, but Robert just continued to say good morning to everyone and move on. Maybe he didn’t remember? He was very drunk. 

“Thanks for meeting up before heading out today, I just wanted to talk about what happened on Friday,” He started by looking at Invisigal. Water felt his mouth get really wet, and he was sure he was going to throw up right now on the conference room table. 

“I feel like I haven;t been honest with all of you, and I had a lot of time to think this weekend. You’ve put so much into becoming heroes, it’s only fair I tell you who I was,” Robert said, and the entire room tensed, the focus entirely on Robert’s next words. Herman waited with bated breath, nervous to how everyone would react.

“I’m Mechman,” Robert said, and the Z-Team began to look at each other for confirmation. Waterboy was focused on the way Robert’s shoulders dropped and how Invisigal looked at Robert with an encouraging smile, which Robert returned before looking back to the team, specifically Flamebe.

“You mother fucker, it is you,” the man stood up abruptly, flames dancing in his eyes and across his shoulders, “Mecha Man-” His stance shifted and Herman stood, he knew he was going to shoot fire ar Robert- was he crazy? Robert didn’t have super powers or a suit on!

In his peripheral vision, he saw Robert tense and lift his arms, fully aware of the risk of flames that Flambe would inflict on him. Waterboy lifted his arms to lunge at the muscular hero, but whips of water left his finger tips in powerful blasts, which pushed the man back forcefully into the conference room wall. Then he opened his mouth and even more water doused the fiery man.

The room was silent aside from Flambe’s heavy breathing and the sound of Waterboy standing up fully. Flambe made an angry noise, getting ready to shoot flames at him instead, but Waterboy glared and lifted his hands, daring him to try. He didn’t know if the flames would’ve been able to reach him, but Flambe didn’t attempt.

“Watch your back, bitch-” he huffed as he stormed out of the conference room, shoulder checking Robert on his way past. Robert stumbled a bit, eyes stuck on Waterboy as the conference room erupted into mumbled agreements about Flambe’s over reaction, and praises that Waterboy did the right thing. 

“Hey, that was cool of you. Flambe was being a dick,” Malevola looked at Waterboy with a little nod, and others resounded with a similar notion. Robert smiled, the worry lines under his eyes weakening slightly as he nodded.

“You saved my life, thanks kid,” he said sincerely, and Waterboy felt butterflies erupt in his stomach and he swallowed the nervous sound his throat made.

“Of cou- No problem- Any- anytime Ro- Sir- Mr. Robertson,” he breathed, trying not to show how utterly floored he was by the praise.

“My name is Courtney,” Invisigal spoke up, “I feel like… it’s only fair, ya know?”

Waterboy watched as everyone gave their names, and how Robert’s spirits seemed to be lifted. He could barely contain his excitement as he shuffled forward.

“H-herman- is my- name is Herman. Or-Hermy- but my grandma calls me- Herm, so Herm,” He swallowed as he looked to Robert. Robert’s easy-going smile and brown eyes drew him in like a home he never wanted to leave; his face went red as he looked down again. 

After the team bonding session, the heroes started to leave one by one until Herman and Robert were left alone. Herman was drawing little watery shapes on the table, nervous as the thoughts from the weekend flashed in his mind.

“So, Herm, right?” Robert’s smooth voice broke him out of his internal spiral.

“Y-Yes! Yuppers- Yup. That- they call me that,” he stuttered, and Robert placed his hand on his arm. His touch was firm, warm, and he just wanted Robert to wrap him in a hug. He swallowed, dripping onto the carpet as he looked at the shorter brunette. 

“Thanks again for saving my life. You’re a great hero, Herman,” he said sincerely, and Waterboy wanted to melt into a puddle right there in the conference room. Instead, he mustered the words out.

“Any-yeah time, anytime S-sir,” he said shyly.

“Robert. You can call me Robert, ya know,” he said, waiting patiently for Waterboy to finish his sentence.

“O-oh right yeah- ok- alright then, R-Robert,” Herman smiled down at him, wringing his hands together. Robert gave his arm a squeeze and then left eh conference room to get his second cup of coffee for the day.

Herman watched as Robert left, and then let out a slow sigh, his shoulder relaxing.

“So what was that about?” Invisigal’s voice came from right next to him as she appeared, taking a breath. He shot water out of his mouth and onto the carpet as he yelped. 

“W-were you- in- the room- here? The whole-?” Herman squeaked as he tried to stand properly after jumping in the air.

She chuckled a bit and looked him up and down, “and what if I was? You like him?” She grinned.

Waterboy wanted to die right there; he could not take the Z-Team finding out that he had a crush on Robert, or that his crush was quickly spiralling into an obsession. 

“Relax, Pissboy, I’m not going to tell him,” she assured him as she patted his shoulder, but then quickly wiped her hand with a disgusted expression.

“A little advice, though? He’s not going to notice if you don’t talk to him,” she said, and then left the conference room, waving to him with a mock salute.

Waterboy thought about it for a second before leaving the conference room as well. He knew that realistically, Robert would never find out that he had a crush on him if he didn’t act on it, but isn’t that the safe part? Robert was tolerant of Waterboy and very kind, but there was no way the dispatcher actually liked Herman, and he didn’t want to ruin what friendship they had.

Herman spent his entire shift thinking about what he could do to make Robert like him, but he thought deep down he was unlikable because of his stutter, because people thought he was gross. Waterboy stopped thinking of ways to make Robert like him; maybe this was good enough.

After his shift, he was brought down to Royd’s workshop, as some of the Z-Team members did not fully believe that Robert was Mecha Man. Herman knew the man was telling the truth, and with the amount of research he had done and videos he had watched, he was a little dumbfounded as to why anyone could second-guess that he was a hero through and through.

He stood behind the glass wall with the others, towards the back, since he was taller. He peeked from behind Royd’s shoulder, eyes shining as he watched Robert climb into the suit. The suit was unfinished in some places, the metal support beams and wires exposed compared to the smoother metal finish on the outside of most of the suit. The mask and lights lit up as Robert powered on the suit, and murmurs rippled through the Z-Team.

Herman was in awe as Robert moved in the mech suit. He knew he was powerful, intelligent, and he was Mecha Man, but seeing it was different. He only wished he could be in the room fully, maybe touch the metal, hear Robert talk about the cybersecurity that went into protecting the suit…

He was brought out of his fantasy as Royd made a panicked noise. 

“Get outta there! Right now- Robert!!” He shouted and went to grab the fire extinguisher. The other members of the team were shouting as the mech suit started to glitch and spasm.

“Royd??” The synthesized voice came through the speakers in a muffled panic; the room shook as the body of the suit exploded and fell over.