Chapter Text
For once in his life, John thought maybe a project he started was a bit too ambitious. He loved the idea and knew he will be able to make it even if it maybe won’t be the best, but he felt like he was already falling behind. There was less than a month until Christmas and he was just starting.
First, he forgot to buy fabric for the lining and then apparently iron-on adhesive could not be used as interfacing. It was great that he already cut out all the pattern pieces and wanted to start sewing, but a moot point knowing he will have to do it once again for the lining. He hated everything and even coming up with such a big idea when there was so little time. Not to mention Christmas time was important for the channel, because ad revenue was up, so he also wanted to put more energy into that.
Now he was finally back and ready to work on his secret project. He tried not to rush too much, because rushing for a few minutes could also mean ripping seams for two hours. Ask him how he knew.
It always seems simple at the beginning, you just cut out the pieces, sew them together and that’s it. But then you are three hours into tracing pattern pieces onto a fabric and cutting it out, your hand cramps like crazy and it feels like you are not making any progress at all. He was at that stage. He went a bit crazy with the design, using a basic jacket pattern he found on the web and adding some touches like more pockets, stand collar and a hood. Not to mention all the appliques he wanted to add onto the jacket as the final step. But that seemed so far away.
Between making videos for now and preparing them for December, Christmas shopping and his secret project, he didn’t really have much time for anything. Including talking with his friends. It wasn’t that unusual for him to disappear for a bit and no one ever held it against him… but Smitty never liked it.
That’s how John got here, on a wellness check call as his boyfriend called it.
“You look like you are not sleeping enough,” were the first words out of Smitty’s mouth.
He just sighed. Yeah, he wasn’t sleeping much, but that’s Christmas time for you. He had things to do and only a limited number of hours in a day.
“I just have a lot to work on.”
Smitty squinted at him, as if trying to decide if he believed it or not. “The secret project?”
John threw himself back into his chair. Of course, Smitty watched his yesterday’s stream, because that’s the only place John mentioned it. There really was no stopping Smitty once he decided to investigate something. “I am not telling you shit. It’s a secret for a reason.”
“Fain, fain. But I worry about you when you stop responding to everyone. I had like three people text me to ask if you are okay. I hate when you just disappear on us like that. You can’t do that to us. To me.”
That hurt because John never wanted this. He wasn’t in any depressive episode, he was just really into a project and far too excited to worry about responding to anyone.
“I am sorry,” he said, “I just… I really need to get this done. And I still play with them, just… don’t have time to talk much.”
The silence that followed was a bit uncomfortable for John. Smitty was just looking at him, thinking. It stretched for far too long; he really didn’t like it. It wasn’t like he had more to say, so he just sat there, fidgeting.
“When will the project be done?” Smitty finally decided to say something, though he was still watching John like he was trying to read him. That’s why they usually didn’t videocall.
“I need to get it done before Christmas. It’s just a lot with all the videos I need to make and stuff. Just give me half a month to get it sorted.”
“Okay. But you are still coming over for Christmas, right? You are not getting out of it.”
John smiled, of course he is coming over. He already bought the ticket. He just needed to finish the jacket before he flies over because he can’t go there and not have a gift, right? “Yeah, Christmas is still on.”
“Good,” Smitty smiled back at him. “And the session tomorrow?”
“Also on.”
Smitty nodded to himself. “Don’t overwork yourself because I am not spending the whole Christmas watching you sleep off the exhaustion, okay?”
“Yes, sir.”
Smitty laughed. “Love you, you stupid idiot. And if you don’t text me every day, I am going to do another wellness check.”
“Suuuure. See you.”
When the call ended, he just slumped into his chair. He hated not telling anyone anything. He wanted to show it to someone, to get their feedback, but don’t risk it getting back to Smitty. Though, right now it was vaguely looking like an extremely thin jacket, because he got stuck on the pockets for far too long. Today he finally wanted to sew together the jacket with the lining to see it together before he gets to the smaller things like finishing the sleeves and waistband, the hood, not to mention the part he was dreading the most: adding a zipper. It was a pain in the ass how long some small parts could take. He still had a long road ahead.
There was no way he will finish it in time. Once it finally started looking like a jacket, he got too scared to continue and possibly ruin it that instead he threw himself into designing the patches. He had it all figured out, he just needed to make some designs, print them on sheets of transfer paper and iron the paper onto fabric, sewing a border around to make it look more real. That’s patches for you. And with the magic of some iron-on adhesive he will easily iron it onto the jacket, maybe sew it by hand to really secure it.
It sounded so easy, no way can he mess it up. So of course he got stuck on the very first part, making the designs. He had so many ideas but once he started, it all quickly fell into one of few categories. Smitty, him and few inside jokes. He’s been redrawing the eyes on Smitty’s milk bag for five minutes now, not really liking how it looked.
He saw that Smitty texted him if he wanted to play something today and suddenly and idea struck him. Why was he limiting himself only to categories related to them? This was a jacket for Smitty, he should focus more on Smitty’s favorite things. Even if he has to put every logo of every game Smitty ever called GOTY, still better than giving him a jacket with only six small patches. There was the entire back of the jacket that he needed to fill with at least a few patches. Over ten sounded like a good number. And under fifteen probably, because he didn’t want to go too crazy. He still had to finish the jacket, which at this moment needed the sleeve and waistband closures, the hood, and of course the placket and with it the zipper which he was still dreading.
He got another message from Smitty, because he got too caught up in drawing, he forgot to reply.
“Wellness check, did you eat anything today?”
He rolled his eyes because Smitty could really be a pain in the ass even though he knew it wasn’t intentional. Smitty was just a good boyfriend, way better than John could ever be. He was here ignoring Smitty’s messages because of some stupid secret project, while Smitty was worrying about him. It was quite easy to see who was the one winning in the best boyfriend competition.
“Sorry, working on stuff. Maybe tomorrow?”
He didn’t even have time to put his phone down before Smitty replied. “And the food? Tell me you ate something.”
“Does a rice cracker count?”
“JOHN, go eat something right now. I want proof.”
He looked at his tablet and back at the phone. Well, it wasn’t like he was getting anywhere with his patch design, so maybe some time away will help.
He still had so much stuff to do and only two weeks left.
He hated everything and everyone, the project, his stupid idea, himself… and honestly, throw into it also the sewing machine that decided to have a threading problem in middle of him sewing on the waistband as if he wasn’t already reconsidering his every life choice. One stitch everything was going okay and the next, the machine was stuck and wasn’t feeding the fabric properly.
He really needed some way to release stress or else he will go crazy next time some minor setback happens. He was so close, it was finally starting to look like a jacket. The sleeves were fully done and once he finishes the waistband, he’ll only need the collar and hood and the placket. And then it’s done! Not counting the patches of course, but he already had eight designs done so he was doing quite well on that part.
Maybe he will finish it in time.
The alarm on his phone started ringing, reminding him that he had a gaming session in ten minutes. Great. And then he planned to stream in the evening, meaning his time to work on the project today was up. And maybe it was for the best, because he was really on the end of his rope with it.
The stand collar was done and it was actually standing! He considered it quite an achievement. The hood was surprisingly easy even though he had to add the lining and attach it all to the jacket at the same time as the collar. But all things considered, easier than most things he had to learn to do.
The zipper was his nemesis though. He knew that technically the placket will hide it if he messes up, but still he didn’t want to fuck up when he came such a long way. Three weeks ago, he only had a bunch of fabric cut outs in weird shapes and now there was an actual jacket in front of him, only missing the zipper. He can do it!
But first he wanted to finish the patches. Anything to delay the inevitable.
The pile of papers on his desk was a perfect example that nothing is ever as easy as it sounds. If there was a god of printers, he was really thinking about praying to him, because eight tests in and it was still not correct. First, he fucked up the sizing, making it too small once and then too big. After, he got stuck on colors, because the printer decided it needed some cleaning and aligning. He was just glad he decided to test on normal paper and not the special transfer one, because he only had five of those and needed at least three for all the designs.
Now that the printer was finally working and happily printing, albeit slowly in the best quality possible, John had time to compose himself. Printers were evil. But he got it working in the end so all was well.
He picked up his phone to waste some time while waiting and noticed messages from Smitty. First two were some memes, the third one was a message to stop ignoring him. The fourth one flashed on his screen when he was thinking what to reply. And then his phone started vibrating. No wonder he didn’t hear the notifications, he’s set it on silent.
The call was from Smitty, which wasn’t really that surprising. In the end, it really must have looked like he was ignoring him again.
“Hello?” he picked it up, immediately in a better mood. Next week he is flying over for Christmas and he couldn’t wait. They have not talked in person since the day before yesterday, only sending few messages, because Smitty had some business things to do and John had his hands full with preparing videos for the days he will be gone, and of course the project.
“So you are alive.”
John laughed, because of course Smitty would start the call like this. John doesn’t reply to him for two hours and there goes Smitty with another wellness check call.
“Well good sir, I am,” he said in a fake posh accent, dissolving into laughter at the end. Smitty followed, wheezing.
“You made me worried, you idiot. I hate when you don’t respond.”
“Oh, I am an idiot now. I didn’t respond for like two hours. You can’t survive two hours without me?” He faked anger because it was easier than saying sappy things and getting on Smitty’s level. Smitty was the king when it came to nice speeches, it was almost unfair. Whenever John tried it always sounded too jokey or sarcastic.
“No, you know I can’t, John,” Smitty said in his lovey-dovey voice and it was a joke but it was also serious because that’s how Smitty was, that’s how their whole relationship was. The jokes were a big part of it. Making each other laugh was almost the goal.
John rolled his eyes. “You really are obsessed, man.”
“Well yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to deal with your dumb ass. Now can you send me your flight details?”
John reached for his computer mouse and noticed the printer stopped. He looked over and okay, the print looked surprisingly good. “Give me a minute.” He saved the files somewhere but couldn’t find them now, so instead he had to go look through his email, which was maybe even worse.
“I’ve sent you the email. Are you gonna wait for me?” He took the papers from the printer and laid them on a table. They should apparently be left alone for at least half an hour so he had enough time to talk to Smitty.
“Obviously. So, what were you doing before I called?”
John sighed. “It’s a secret. I’ll tell you next week. I have some other projects I’ve been working on so I can show you all of it. It’s… it’s great. I think you will love it. I mean I love it, so you better do too because otherwise I will just pack my stuff and go home.”
Smitty laughed. What a stupid idea. He loved basically everything John ever did. He admired his talent and loved watching him create. “I am sure it’s all amazing.”
“Why am I even telling you,” John lamented, “You think everything I make is great. What a yes-man.” He was faking it and Smitty knew it. It was just a stupid little game they sometimes played, because Smitty was so often in awe of John’s creations. He couldn’t help it, okay! John was so fucking talented.
Smitty laughed and even if they were so far away, calls like these made it a bit more bearable. He couldn’t wait for next week.
The jacket was done! He finished it with two days to spare. And he was so fucking proud of himself. He figured out the zipper and even added some top stitches he forgot before.
And with the patches it looked so fucking good! Even though they were a pain in the ass to sew on. He liked Smitty in green so he chose darker green for the jacket and brown for the lining with the patches adding the bit of oomph he himself liked when working on his clothes.
He really couldn’t wait to give it to Smitty and see his reaction.
But now he was beat and had only one day to get ready, pack his stuff and so on. It worked out okay, but man, next project will be without a deadline for sure. The stress wasn’t worth it.