Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been three years since she came back from Japan. Her little brother had entered college, and she moved near the frat grounds, in the hopes of reconnecting with him. Suffice to say, it worked out. "C'mon, sis, you're looking moony again." he teased, putting an arm around her as she quietly sipped her can of Pep.

How in the merry hell did she let him rope her into this, she had no idea, a 25-year-old, fully grown woman at a frat bro party isn't something you see every day. Dear old Dad would have approved, though—if he was still alive. It didn't amuse her in the slightest, too—that block party they attended in Japan, it had truly blown her out of her mind. Some guy had busted out a vaguely insectoid light show machine for the big climax, and nothing would ever top that, she suspected. She missed her team. The last time they'd seen each other was when she'd flown all the way to Brooklyn for Dot's wedding to her fiance Alex Malto about a month and a half ago, and Bulkhead wasn't even there. She did get to know Dot's little sister Elena, though.

Absentmindedly, she reached into her pocket—inside lay the utility pen that Mr. Kaneari had equipped each team member with. All around her and Otis were nothing but tall, buff young adult males of various skintones, some of them looking at her like they'd love to get into her pants. Like she'd ever let them. 

Otis, having grown up on stuff like Screaming Eagles and MASK, would most definitely have not a care in the world beyond beating up perceived "bad guys". That's probably why he learned karate too, she mused. Her, on the other hand, had spent a lot of time in Dad's vicinity, helping him out with racing preparations, fixing good ol' Bessie together, and going swimming. Her dad was a great man, and a great driver too. And if Mom couldn't see that, then, well...had she even been faithful at all? At Dad's funeral, she did cry a lot, yes, Ron hovering around her the whole time. Just a year and a half later, they immediately started dating, and rushed into marriage. To Charlie, the whole thing smelled fishy. 

She downed the remaining Pep, to drown out the train of thoughts. All that was behind her now. "I'm not moony, Otis, stop saying I am. You, on the other hand..." As she said it, her gaze shifted to the DJ, a willowy guy in a white T-shirt by the pool. 

"His name's Nahuel." said Otis, blushing furiously. "An exchange student, from Argentina. He's really nice when you get to know him. I've been trying to talk to him for a while now, and...and...and..." 

Charlie sighed. "Just say you like him, Otis. I've dealt with crazier things, it's OK. I don't know about Mom and Ron, but personally, I'd love to see you with him." 

"Yeah, right," Otis grumbled. "But don't bullshit me, Mouthface, you are mooning. Have you received another mail from your car yet?" 

"Maaaaaaybe." she drawled, knowing that it wasn't Bessie he was talking about. 

"Still can't believe you ended up in Japan." Otis said. "It must have been wild. Meanwhile, I haven't even gotten out of good ol' Cali. Thanks for the gifts, by the way." 

"You're welcome." Charlie smiled. "I bought and held onto them for you. I thought you'd appreciate some souvenirs from the land of the rising sun." 

Otis chuckled. "Yeah, they were neat. Also, I keep forgetting to tell you, but the last time I met Bumblebee, he looked like he missed you too a lot. No joke, I really felt it, even though it was all garbled radio bits. It's like—" 

"Oh, shut up." Charlie snapped. "What was his name again? Nahuel? You really should ask him out. Trust me, it'll be worth it." 

Once again, Otis turned bright red. "What would Mom say?" he said. 

"Who cares what Mom thinks? She moved on too fast. Fuck, she had triplets with her new man, without even getting permission from us!" Charlie joked, though the triplets themselves were very much real. She suspected they'd be around five right now. "If someone calls you the F-thing, then just go ahead, fold their ass." 

Then a familiar song, from Heart, crept into her ears—it seemed so appropriate. It went like this—"…I've been lonely, I've been waitin' for you, I'm pretending and that's all I can do, the love I'm sendin' ain't makin' it through to your heart..." 

"Ah, right on time!" she exclaimed. "Go on." 

"But what if he doesn't like me?" Otis said. "What if he doesn't like boys at all?" 

"C'mon, you should take your chance." Charlie said. "It's better than holding it in forever." 

Otis swallowed. "Well, if you put it that way..." 

What about love?

Don't you want someone to care about you?

And what about love?

Don't let it slip away...

What about love?

I only want to share it with you,

You might need it someday...

At the end of the afternoon, it seems Otis does ask Nahuel out, it seems. If the other frat bros noticed it, no, they didn't. Charlie can only hope her little brother never gets found out, or he could get expelled.

From:Elementary My Dear Watson 

To:Badassatron 

Hey there, Buzz, what'cha doin'? I've survived a frat bro party that Otis dragged me into. Boy, am I glad I never went to college. I'm just glad being a mechanic, thank you very much. And he's got a boyfriend, too. Nothing official yet, but I saw it with my own eyes. Had a hand in it even. And what a great guy he is. We talked for a while, as the party was winding down, and he seemed really nice. I hope he can keep my bro's ego in check. Have you ever pulled off something like that, trying to set up two bots with each other? 

No, scratch that, does Cybertron have colleges too? I'm having a hard time, trying to imagine you sitting in a podium, listening to what might be really boring and overcomplicated lectures. I've always seen you as the yellow guy with the knife hands who really, REALLY needed help, and also my car. And the strange, wonderful visitor who breathed life into me. You've always been dear to me, I'd be heartbroken if you had to suffer through school like I did. 

In other news, I came home to find boxes of gifts waiting for me on my doorstep, along with letters from Bill, Dot and Bulkhead. They were all meant for "our next adventure", I could definitely see that, and then there was the one from Agent Burns, which was...well...just a tin case full of sugar cookies. His letter said that he baked them himself. Anyways, I'm so excited. I'm gonna see them again sooner or later. Who knows? Maybe we'd meet again on the way. Oh, what am I saying? You're out there, fighting a goddamned war, and here I am, getting excited about what's gonna happen next...

Also, I can send images with E-mails now, thank you Mr. Borenstein, here's a photo of me. I've been dying to give you an update. 

[[Attached:A photograph of Charlie Watson, 25 years old, her fluffy brown hair in a loose ponytail]]

From:Badassatron

To:Elementary My Dear Watson 

Thanks for the photo, Charlie, you still look pretty, even after all these years. Would it be an overstatement to say that you're the loveliest thing I've ever laid my optics on? I can gladly say I have no memory of attending any academia, if only because I had it much, much worse. I'll get into the details one day, but not now. You are very dear to me as well, my self-esteem hadn't been that high, even with Prime and all my friends telling me that I'm worth it, then I met you and...well. 

Safe to say, my self-esteem has improved a lot after we spent all that time together. Also, please tell your Craphole that I'm glad for him, and also worried. On our planet, two mechs or two femmes can indeed reproduce, but the odds of them successfully doing so are so astronomically high that it's considered a miracle among miracles if a same-frame couple manages to conceive. From what I've heard, humans function more like Southern Reach beastformers—around these parts, a same-frame couple simply cannot reproduce, and I've deduced that humans are pretty much the same, except, well...they tend to make a big deal out of it. I still don't get the hate. 

Speaking of, I wish I could show you the Southern Reach. It's a colony consisting of three planets—Aquatron, Eukaris and Biosfera. The last time I've been there, it really was a paradise, organic creatures co-existing peacefully with Cybertronian beastformers. Their alt modes look like some of the animals I've seen here on Earth. I can only hope nothing terrible has happened to it. 

As to answer your question on whether Cybertron has colleges, well...yes. There's the Autobot Academy, for up-and-coming young Autobots, and for older ones, there's the Seeker Academy and the Royal College at the city of Vos, and the Kaon University which hasn't been open in a long while ever since the Usurpers took over, the fifty yahrens of misery settled in, and the whole city became a decrepit factory hellhole. These are the only ones I could think of, off the top of my brain module. 

And yes, I'm still fighting a war, but don't feel so bad. Things have loosened up a lot. I'm so glad you didn't get caught up in something horrible, and found a team that cares for you. Meanwhile, I've been listening to this Queen band Agent Burns recommended me. How did it take me so long to discover them, I have no idea. You wanna hear something funny that happened today? Prime's been losing it lately, what with two of his closest friends, first me, now Jazz, liking Earth culture so much. I overheard Prime telling Jazz to stop hanging out with humans, or at the very least, stop dragging other bots into it. Jazz had his servos over his audials and was all "lalalalalalala, I can't hear you, I'm busy listening to jazz". 

Mech, I wonder what it will take for Prime to finally come around. See you soon, if lucky. This is Badassatron, signing off. Oh, and I'll send you some images of everybody, rare moments when the gang's all here. 

[[Attached:Several captured images of Bumblebee and co., gathered in one place]]

Ah, the funfair at the beach. 

Once upon a time, she'd squeezed lemons here. Bulkhead said he'd pick her up here. She'd been itching to go on another mission—with Otis spending more and more time with his new boyfriend, and with Mom far away without a care in the world, with her new husband and three boys, she'd been left to her own devices. 

On the occasions where she'd been dragged into another one of her brother's dates for no apparent reason at all(or perhaps to distract from prying eyes), to watch them get flushed all over and stumble through shy phases of young love and a great deal of "getting to know you"s, Charlie was relieved to know that she made the right call in giving Otis that push. In her dreams, everyone was there—Bee, Memo, Bulk, Bill, Dot, Agent Burns, Otis, Nahuel, and Bee's crew. What Optimus Prime looked like, Bulk and T'Ai had filled in the gaps for her in the past three years. Suffice to say, he was instantly recognizable in these images Bee sent her. 

"Charlie?" 

She looked up. No olive-colored off-road truck in sight. Perhaps her stupid brain had heard someone calling her name and inadvertently autocorrected it to Bulk, she'd been on edge all afternoon. There was only some guy that looked oddly familiar, holding out a corndog. "Um, excuse me?" she asked, but took the corndog anyway. 

"Charlie, it's Memo. I've never thought I'd see you again, I...suppose you don't recognize me, it's been seven years after all." 

Now that she had a closer look, she could examine his face more closely, and her eyes widened. "Memo, it is you!" she exclaimed. "Silly me, thinking you'd look exactly the same as you did in the eighties...guess we're both grown up, ay?" 

"I guess we are." he said, scratching his head. "I thought you'd never come back." 

Charlie swallowed. "Well, I'm not exactly back. I'm here, waiting for a teammate. His name is Bulkhead, and he's a transforming alien robot like Bumblebee. C'mon, sit, I'll give you the rundown on how I met him." 

So Memo sat down, and they talked. "It happened around the four-year mark of me leaving Brighton Falls behind." Charlie said. "I met that Agent Burns guy again at a cafe in bumfuck nowhere LA, and he offered me to work with him. I followed him to some kinda hidden meeting place and that's where I met Bill Fowler, our leader, and Dot Wallace. Bill said he was leading a spec ops team to prove that humans can work with car-shaped robots, and Bulkhead was a member, too. That's how we met." 

"Wow." Memo breathed. "So what happened? Did you meet Bumblebee again?" 

"Nah, but he and I, we exchange E-mails regularly." Charlie replied. "Basically, we check on each other and give each other updates on how things have been going lately. Bee often vents to me about how his leader isn't listening, and I always wanna give him a hug whenever that happens." She took a bite out of her corndog. 

"That's great." said Memo. "I still remember seven years ago. It was a wild ride, ay?" 

Charlie nodded. "Yeah, it was. I can only hope Tripp Summers found someone new, and moved on with his life." 

"Oh, he has. He rebounded with some hot Greek girl he met back in '89. Who knows what they're doing now. Good for him, I guess." said Memo. 

"Yeah, good for him." Charlie smiled. "Here's to hoping they live happily ever after." 

"Yeah, happily ever after..." Memo said. That was exactly when the off-road truck Charlie had been waiting for pulled up right in front of them, a holographic driver sitting inside. "Good afternoon!" he said. "Sorry, Charlie, I made you wait, didn't I? And who could that guy be?" 

"Oh!" Charlie exclaimed as she got up. "Bulk, this is Memo, my friend who I haven't seen in a while. Memo, this is Bulkhead." 

"Howdy!" Bulk said, the decoy in the driver's seat waving to them. 

"Hi, Bulkhead." said Memo. "We...haven't met, have we? I'm Memo, Charlie's...well...friend." 

"OK, now that all is said and done, Memo, I've gotta go. The team's waiting for me." Charlie said, as Bulkhead opened a door for her. 

"What?" Memo exclaimed. "But...but we just met again, and..." 

"Sorry, Memo, I can't drag you into this, it's too dangerous." said Charlie. 

"Yeah, you better listen to the miss, this ain't no place for a...a...a..." Bulk trailed off, unsure what to call Memo. 

"Oh, he's just a guy who's not cut out for our line of work." Charlie filled in for him. 

"What even are you dealing with?" Memo asked. 

Charlie swallowed. "This time specifically? Aliens, again." she said. "Bill received intel from Dot about aliens among us, secretly conspiring to take over the planet, and no, I'm not talking about the ones that turn into cars. And their main liaison? Porter C. Powell, CEO of Powell Motorworks, situated in Detroit. We're all hell-bent on foiling his evil plans and sending it to General Whalen—" 

"Wait, Porter C. Powell?" Memo exclaimed. "I'm trying to look into him too! You see, I never told you but I've recently started a conspiracy channel and I've been trying to find a ride to Detroit. Then you came along and I think you'll need whatever help you can get. I don't know how much help I'll be, but I do have some data, and I also read a lot of Sherlock Holmes in my spare time, so maybe, I was thinking, maybe if we use his method of deduction, we could bust him and foil a full-scale invasion. C'mon, we've done this before. I was there." 

"Alright, you can come," said Charlie, "just swear you won't leak anything to the public." 

"I swear." said Memo. 

"So he can help?" Dot asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yeah." Charlie said. "And we can help him, too."

From:Elementary My Dear Watson 

To:Badassatron 

Bee, this might be my last E-mail to you for a while, you'll never guess what happened. Memo's gone full Sherlock and he's joining me and the team on a mission. He's even calling it the Truth Quest. I have no idea how long this will take, but I'll try to stay alive for your sake. Hey, what's the worst that could happen? I stared down mindless killing machines and the dinosaur robot space pirates that sicced them on us, with nothing but a honest-to-Zod sniper rifle. And by "Zod", I don't mean the Superman villain, I mean the Renegade WMD from GoBots. 

Ah, Superman. I remember Dad taking me to watch the movies when I was nine and eleven. It was unforgettable. Does Cybertron have any superhero media?

If Bee left her an answer, no, she didn't have time to check on it. Right now, she was in Detroit, working to expose Porter C. Powell. She watched Memo as he approached some workers, intent on asking them some questions—she'd let him drag her around the whole afternoon, hoping to get some clues. 

"Excuse me, kind sirs, was Porter C. Powell here earlier?" asked Memo, all dressed up like a journalist. He even had a video camera.

"Damn right he was." said a worker. "He carted off some junk, and went on his merry way. Why do you wanna meet him anyway?" 

"Ah, well...my partner and I, we've been trying to score an exclusive interview with him, like, since forever!" said Memo. "We'll be off, thank you very much!" 

As they walked away, Memo sniffed the air and said "Aha! It's crawling with clues out here! Hmm... Look at these circular indentations in the dirt. And the subtle scent of rubber in the air. I wonder what it is?" 

"It's free tires, Sherlock. Bill got Bulkhead some yesterday." Charlie said. "Now let's get going, we have a conspiracy to uncover. So what do you think these aliens were up to again?" 

"The aliens are kidnapping innocuous citizens and then replacing them one-by-one. Once they've replaced more than 51% of all the humans, they can assume control of the planet for their own nefarious purposes." Memo explained. 

"OK, thanks. And the easiest way to identify them is to challenge one to a staring contest, ay? Wonder how we'll manage that." said Charlie. She remembered him telling the team about Porter C. Powell's role in all this—he'd been providing the aliens with all the resources they needed to infiltrate human society, in exchange for him getting to rule over Detroit. 

"We need more clues." said Memo, and the two walked off to find more clues. For a few more hours, they scanned the ground with magnifying glasses, ran up and down staircases, and watched Powell Motorworks employees bring crates to some very strange people. 

It's Elementary-Danny Jacob 

We've got a mystery to solve, clues and puzzles to resolve,

It's elementary!

Separating fact from fiction, gonna get me a conviction,

Elementary!

Oh, what is truth and what is lies?

It's elementary!

I see it with my private eyes,

Grab your magnifying glass 'cause deductive reasoning's a gas!

It's elementary! (Elementary) (It's elementary, yeah!)

It's elementary! (Elementary) (It's elementary, yeah!)

Aw yeah, it's elementary! (Elementary) (It's elementary, yeah!)

Yeah, it's elementary!

"Charlie, c'mon, check this! I think I'm close to figuring it out!" Memo exclaimed as he gestured to a trail of electric blue paint on the ground. 

"Paint?" Charlie asked. 

Soon after, a very familiar off-road truck screeched to a stop next to them, and asked "Hey, you two, got anything on yet?" 

"Unfortunately, nothing." Charlie said. 

Bulkhead lowered a window for them, and Dot's face popped out from the passenger's seat. "Memo, you said? While you were out there playing detective, Bulk and I cornered an alien on an empty road. Before we could get anything useful out of him, he just used these weird fleshy tentacle arm things to get away. We've been on his tail for the last half hour, in the direction he went." 

"Yeah, and all we found is blue paint." Charlie said. 

"Blue paint?" Dot asked. She got off Bulkhead and crouched down, scooped some of the blue liquid on her fingers, and exclaimed "This isn't paint, that motherfucker bled all over his escape route! Memo, you're a godsend. C'mon, Bulk, let's follow that trail!" 

And so they did. It was quite the challenge, trying to shuffle a giant robot through the streets without getting him noticed, but they did it anyway. The trail of blood was quite short, and it led to a Powell Motorworks warehouse. Charlie's fingers fiddled with the pen in her pocket, as Dot readied hers. "Um, lady?" Memo asked. "You just gonna..." 

"Shh!" Charlie said. "It's a weapon." 

"OK..." Memo nodded. 

"Aw, Dottie, don't waste your mighty pen on this." Bulkhead said. "One wrecking ball can do the trick just fine!" Then he just turned his left hand into a wrecking ball, three seconds away from smashing the door in, but then Dot raised a hand. 

"I know you're eager to get a piece of all the action, but wait, it could very well be crawling with aliens inside. Remember, we're supposed to get a clear picture of what's going on." she said. "Charlie, Memo—we'll be waiting outside, you two call for backup when things get bad." 

"OK. C'mon, Memo." Charlie said. "Bulk, can you give us a lift to that window over there?" 

"Sure thing!" Bulkhead replied, and picked Charlie and Memo up, reaching over his helm all the way to the window.

Charlie pulled her pen from her pocket, switched the setting to "CUT" and drew a sizable circle in a window, for at least one human to pass through, and then gently removed it to place on Bulk's palm. "Thanks." she said with a smile. Their eyes widened, upon getting a look at what was inside. Somehow, the aliens had reworked the entire warehouse into a perfectly functional HQ with at least three sublevels, all-the-while keeping it inconspicuous enough on the outside. 

"Holy bagumba..." Memo whispered, gazing, starstruck, at all the eyes, eyes, eyes that moved busily inside. 

"Memo?" 

"Memo?" 

"Hey, you coming or not?" 

Memo shook away the haze and looked at Charlie, who was one step away from entering the hole she'd made. "Oh, right! Coming!" he said, and they went through.

Once inside, Charlie put on a pair of glasses, and gave another pair to Memo. "These were gonna be Dot's." she said. "She gave you her place on this mission, so." 

"What do they do?" Memo whispered. 

"They send information to the teammates back at the base." Charlie whispered back. 

"OK." Memo nodded. 

Inside the warehouse was a lot, and this narrator means a lot, of aliens bustling around, with all their big blue eyes that took up a lot of space on their bodies, and a few humans. "Hey, pass me the krie-bop, will you?" said one alien, and one human Powell Motorworks employee passed them a hammer. 

"Hey, alien buddy, can I have a sprigle-brock?" another employee called, and Krie-Bop Fella stretched one of their arms to pick up a wrench on a far-away table. Charlie and Memo quietly observed, catching everything in their glasses. What were they up to? 

"Glort, I can't believe your boss provided us with the means to help this world far faster than intended!" exclaimed another alien. "When this project is complete, we don't have to go through the tedious—and to be fair, a little bit unethical—process of snatching bodies! With these devices we're making, we'd just subdue their minds, get them to see what we see, and soon, this world will be kept safe under our watchful eye!" 

"Yeah." said another human worker, a woman. "Can you imagine a world where no wars are waged? We'd all be living happily, in a true paradise..." 

So, security over freedom, huh? Ben Franklin would be rolling in his grave right now. Then Memo tapped on her shoulder, and she turned. "Hmm?" 

"Uh, Charlie?" he whispered in her ear, "Sorry for dragging you around. I just...I really wanted to be like Sherlock Holmes, so I got over in my head." 

"Yeah." Charlie whispered back. "I get it. But to be honest, it was a bit boring." 

"I know, right?" said Memo. "Maybe...I just really wanted to spend some time with you again." 

"Fair enough." said Charlie. 

Then, many clusters of eyes moved to the direction they were in. They quickly hid behind some crates containing who-knows-what. "Hey, did you hear something?" asked one alien. 

"No idea." said another. "Our pleerks must be playing tricks on us. Anyways, where were we?" 

They breathed little sighs of relief, and peeked back out just as the warehouse door opened and two figures walked in. Charlie recognized Porter C. Powell right away from the photos she'd seen, and next to him was a tall and lanky man, who shifted into another one of these eye creatures once the door closed behind him...them. "Hey, boss! And Mr. Powell!" said one alien worker. 

"Gotta say, your boss was quite reasonable." said Powell. "I've been no stranger to making so-called "dirty deals", but by far, theirs was the sweetest." 

"I could say the same about you, Mr. Powell." said the alien leader. "When we're through with this planet, then you'll be rewarded handsomely, and Detroit will be yours!" 

"And I wouldn't want it any other way." Powell grinned. 

The alien leader gave Powell a light smack on the shoulder, before blowing him three kisses. "Seriously, you're so amazing!" they said. 

Charlie and Memo gasped loudly, which is actually not a very smart thing to do when you're trying to go unnoticed. 

"Hey, look! GASPERS!" screamed one alien, their eyes zeroing in onto the two of them. "GET 'EM!" 

Immediately, masses of eyes and fleshy arms came hurtling towards where they were. "Uhhh, Charlie?" Memo asked nervously, "Does your pen have any other gadgets?" 

"It does!" said Charlie, switching the setting to "HOOK" and pulling out a grappling hook. "Grab on tight, we're going down!" 

The grappling hook fired towards a nearby beam, and wrapped once, twice, three times around it, the cable pulling taut. Memo wrapped his arms around Charlie's middle, clinging on for dear life as they swung like Tarzan on a vine. Mid-swing, Charlie pulled the hook back, and switched the setting to "JET", and the pen became a jet engine as they were about to fall. They rocketed through the place, blowing fragrant smoke into eyes, eyes, eyes, before finally landing on a soft pile of towels. 

They sat up, dusted themselves off, and Charlie pulled out her specially made communicator out of her other pocket. She said into it: "Dot, Bulk, we're gonna need that backup now." 

About three or so seconds later, the door to the warehouse was smashed open, and a very familiar Autobot and dark-skinned woman burst in. "And Powell's here, too?" Dot asked. "Right on time, Charlie!" 

Charlie grinned, as another wave of flesh and eyes came rushing towards the backup. "You know what to do." she said into the communicator. 

Dot smiled, and switched her pen's setting to "STRING". A tremendous stream of rapid-setting foam exploded from the tip like a firehose, pinning the aliens to the walls. 

"Holy bagumba!" Memo exclaimed. "What's that?" 

"Serious string." said Charlie. "Like silly string, but serious. Alright, time to blow this potato stand!" 

Now, everything went loco! Charlie and Dot both switched their pens' settings to "FREEZE" and fired at oncoming aliens, who all got frozen solid, then Bulkhead promptly smashed them into pieces with wrecking balls. Memo could only watch, amazed, then he was a bit taken aback when Charlie suddenly belted out "No! Sleep! 'Til...Brooklyn!" 

"Huh?" Bulk asked. 

"Well, since we don't have any taped music on us right now, gotta make do with what we have!" Charlie replied. 

"Nice!" Dot exclaimed, and began singing also as she iced another alien:"Foot on the pedal, never ever false metal, engine running hotter than a boiling kettle!" 

CHARLIE:

My job ain't a job, it's a damn good time,

City to city, I'm running my rhymes, 

DOT:

On location, 

DOT & BULKHEAD:

Touring around the nation, 

ALL:

Beastie Boys always on vacation, 

BULKHEAD:

Itchy trigger finger, 

ALL:

But a stable turntable,

I do what I do best because I'm illing and able! 

BULKHEAD:

Ain't no faking, your money I'm taking, 

CHARLIE:

Going coast to coast to watch all the girlies shaking, 

DOT:

While you're at the job working nine-to-five, 

ALL:

The Beastie Boys at the Garden cold kicking it live! 

"What the fuck?!" Powell exclaimed.

Charlie flashed him a middle finger, and pointed her pen towards him. "Eat shit." she said, and fired another icy beam at him, freezing him up to his neck. Then she went back to singing with Dot and Bulkhead, turning her attention back on the aliens, and the humans, who had pulled out their own guns. 

"Oh, by the way, have you met Noah Diaz?" Dot asked. "I met him once! Sweet guy. He'd do anything for his mom and little brother." 

"I'd like to meet him one day!" Charlie said, as she fired behind her back. 

"Ain't seen the light since we started this band, so, MCA, get on the mic, my man!" Bulkhead sang, as he deflected oncoming bullets with just a leg. 

DOT:

Born and bred in Brooklyn USA,

They call me Adam Yauch, but I'm MCA, 

Like a lemon to a lime, a lime to a lemon,

I sip the Def ale with all the fly women! 

CHARLIE:

Limos, arenas, and TV shows,

Autographed pictures and classy hoes,

Step off, Holmes, get out of my way! 

"Got it!" said Memo as he quickly dodged a fleshy arm that flew in his direction. 

ALL:

Taxing little girlies from here to LA,

Waking up before I get to sleep,

'Cause I'll be rocking this party eight days a week! 

No sleep 'til,

No sleep 'til Brooklyn!

No sleep 'til Brooklyn!

No (no) sleep (sleep) 'til Brooklyn! ('til Brooklyn)

No (no) sleep (sleep) 'til Brooklyn! 

As the smoke cleared, the alien leader slithered down from their perch. Charlie and Dot swallowed, and readied another shot, and Bulkhead readied a wrecking ball. 

"Tell me, why do you resist?" asked the alien leader. "And you, Cybertronian...why side with these ungrateful ones, unwilling to accept that their nature and behaviors are just immoral?" 

"Well, you—" Bulk began, looking like he was seconds from beating the alien leader into minced meat. 

"Hold on!" Memo said as he stepped in. "I know, humans aren't at all perfect, we've all did some nasty things to each other in the past, but trust me, Eyes, we've done some great things too, we—" 

"Oh, like all the wars you waged?" snapped the alien leader, cheery facade crumbling at once. "Like all the lives you've ruined over non-issues like the color of your skin, or what things you believe in, or what country you live in? Like all your technology that's been called "progressive" but do nothing but ruin the world around you? What about all the plastic in your sea? All the poison in your air? All the trees you cut down? How many good lives were lost, because of your so-called leaders who think of nothing but keeping themselves fat, happy and safe? Your kind never learns, even after everything you've done, like your woman friends who iced all my peeps and did the same to their fellow humans, the ones who really got us!" 

"Well, then." Memo said. "I make a proposition." 

"Oh, yeah, what?" the alien leader snapped. 

"A staring contest." said Memo. "If I win, then you take all your remaining...peeps, and leave. Never come back." 

"What? Ha-ha! Are you kidding me?" the alien leader demanded, then scoffed. "You don't stand a chance." 

"You're the one that doesn't stand a chance, you giant eye sack." Bulkhead said. "No matter what you, or Prime for that matter, or anyone says, the people of this planet are worth giving a chance." 

"Fine. But if I win, I'm taking all of your eyes." said the alien leader, as they pulled out a spoon and needle. 

Memo nodded firmly. "Accepted." 

And just like that, it was on. Powell could only look on, dumbfounded, from his block of carbonite-and-tibanna-gas-infused, hard-to-melt ice from an utility pen lovingly crafted by some of the best, smartest engineers in Japan, hired by a well-meaning multimillionaire. 

Soon, time passed, and passed, and passed, and the two competitors went well into the evening without blinking, until their eyes turned red. The alien leader, seemingly unable to go on further, squinted. 

"You got this, Memo!" Charlie called. "They're gonna blink!" 

Just then, the alien leader's amorphous body started shifting, the reddened eye pulling back, several smaller eyes shuffling into its place. 

"Hey!" Bulkhead exclaimed. "That's cheating!" 

"I didn't blink, did I?" the alien leader retaliated. 

Bulkhead only hmph'ed, as the smaller eyes were soon joined by more. "Don't blink. Don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink, don't blink. Don't blink! Mwahahahahah—OW!" 

Everyone's gaze shifted to Charlie. She'd switched her pen's setting to "HEAT" and shot a hot beam at one of the many eyes. 

"Hey!" the alien leader yelled. "That's cheating!" 

"You cheated first. Now it's time to kiss your greasy eye sacks good night." Charlie smirked, then fired again, and again, and again, frying more eyes until they were all burnt out. 

"My retinas...they burn..." the alien leader groaned. 

"Hey, Eyes!" said Memo, "Don't blink." 

He stared hard at their big eye, but the eyelid slammed shut. Bulkhead, Dot, and Charlie cheered. 

"This isn't a regulation, you know..." moaned the alien leader. 

"Street rules." Charlie said. "My Craphole and I, we used to have a lot of these." 

"Craphole?" Memo asked, his own eyes burning. 

"Otis's middle name." Charlie explained, then shot the alien leader's remaining big eye. The alien leader let out an ear-piercing shriek, convulsing wildly before finally falling flat on the cold, hard floor. 

Then Charlie's phone rang. It was Bill. She took the call, and from the other side came:"Charlie? Are you there? Your glasses, they stopped sending footage and I was worried." 

"Yeah. Put Powell on ice, and burned his business partner real good." Charlie said. "I also learned that Memo can go for a really long time without blinking."

"Good. Jack and I dug up some dirt on Powell in the meantime, and as it turns out, the aliens are merely the latest in a series of shady deals he struck to make big bucks. Also, he'd been selling already patented toys, and recently had to refund all these Renegade toys he made. In trying to be faithful to the cartoon, he equipped these things with actual weapons." said Bill. "Where are you right now?" 

"I...I don't know where I am, actually. Memo wanted to play detective and now we're in the aliens' HQ, made inside a Powell Motorworks warehouse, but...I have no idea which part of the town I'm in. Bulk, Dot, Memo and I...we'll be going back to base." Charlie said. 

"Be safe. We'll be waiting in front of the Detroit Police Department, find us there." Bill said. 

Charlie nodded. "OK." she replied, and ended the call. Then she glared at the alien leader, who grunted as they slowly lifted an arm, with a single miraculously functional eye on the end. "Now go. Take your peeps, leave, and never come back." 

The alien leader gave another pained groan, and said "Yes..." before lowering their arm again. 

By applying long, concentrated hot beams, Dot and Charlie melted the ice around Powell, tied him up with bits of stray rope, shoved a towel in his mouth, loaded him into Bulkhead's trunk, before sliding into their seats along with Memo, and they drove off to the DPD, listening to Twisted Sister all the way. 

They couldn't tell a soul about the whole alien business, but nevertheless, seeing Porter C. Powell get what's coming to him was truly satisfying. 

"Sheesh, it's been a day, hasn't it?" Charlie asked, wiping sweat from her brow. 

Agent Burns placed a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for the hard work. And thank you too, Dot, Bulkhead, Memo...was it? Now let's head back to base." 

"Yeah, let's." Dot laughed. 

Charlie smiled. "Boy, am I so hungry."

"And I'm just glad you let me come along." said Memo. "Love you, partner." 

"Aw, thanks." said Charlie. She played his words again on her pen, and pulled him into a fierce hug.

They drove all the way back to base(which was really just a motel), ordered some chow mein, General Tso's Chicken and crab rangoon, and spent the remainder of the day watching Disney classics borrowed from Blockbuster, starting with The Great Mouse Detective(how appropriate). Bill felt melancholy at one point, thinking about Bulkhead, who was most likely recharging in the garage. Tomorrow, they'd leave this city, and they'd go their separate ways again.

The last few weeks had been a whirlwind, since their wild mission in Detroit. On the ride back to California, Memo had told Charlie all about how he'd been checking on Mom and Ron a lot of times. "Well, Mrs. Watson...she misses you a lot." he'd said. "She cried a lot, too. Said she never realized how precious you are until you left. She wants to make up for all the times she didn't consider your feelings." 

"So what?" Charlie asked. "She's already lost me, she's got three strapping sons, with her new husband. What more can she possibly want out of me?" 

"But it wouldn't hurt to at least try, would it?" Memo said. 

She'd swallowed upon hearing that, and nodded. "OK. I'll give her another chance." 

So she returned to Brighton Falls, the place where it all began, and found herself standing at the front porch of her old home again. She hesitantly rang the doorbell, the realization of this-is-really-happening dawning over her. To say that the Watson doorbell "rang" would be inaccurate. Something had happened to the bell; its inner workings had become twisted, warped, confused, so that instead of emitting a pleasant ding of bong, the doorbell now sent an angry, window-shattering, you-guessed-the-wrong-answer-on-a-game-show kind of buzz through the Watson house, a noise she was accustomed to, and she waited a few minutes more, and the next thing she knew, Mom was pulling her into a hug, tears in her eyes, whispering "oh, I'm so sorry" over and over again. Charlie sniffled a little too, and hugged her back, and they both fell to their knees. Charlie could barely hear Ron and the voices she registered as the triplets clamor around them as her own tears welled up in her eyes. 

Afterwords, she found out that her old room had been preserved exactly as she'd left it(save for a few tidy sheets), after all these years of believing it had been repurposed as a nursery for the triplets. 

"Charlie?" 

"Yeah, Mom?" she asked, as she turned around in the middle of looking around. 

"You haven't properly met your new little brothers yet, haven't you?" 

"Oh, yeah! The triplets!" Charlie exclaimed. "Can you take me to meet them?" 

And so she got to finally meet the triplets in person. "Charlie, meet your little brothers, Frederic Horse Girl, Edward Number 16 Bus Shelter and Theodore Shiitake Mushrooms." Mom said, and even though she thought they were adorable in the photos Otis showed her, they were three little balls of cuteness seen up close. And they even had cringeworthy middle names, just the way Dad would have done it, though Mom's idea of such names weren't as tasteful, compared to Mouthface or Craphole. "You can call them Fred, Ed and Ted, though." 

"Hello, kids." Charlie said, as she knelt down to their level. "I'm your sister, Charlie." 

They instantly glomped her in a hug. 

And from that point, the following time was spent reconnecting, and making amends, and listening to a little thing she'd recorded on her utility pen. 

"Love you, partner." Memo's voice flowed from the pen, as Charlie sat, looking out the window. 

"Hey, big sis!" Fred's voice called from outside, "You gonna keep pwaying that all afternoown? Come on, watch the news with us!" 

"News? What news?" Charlie asked, head snapping to his direction. 

"Something about a storm all ovuh the globe, I dunno." said Fred. 

Charlie almost said "fuck off", but then she remembered it was a 5-year-old she was talking to, and instead said "Eh, no big deal. I'll be out for supper." 

Back then, she'd dismissed it as not being a big deal, but she had no idea what it would bring to her doorstep much later.

From:Badassatron 

To:Elementary My Dear Watson

Sorry, Charlie, for not giving you a status update sooner, I've been caught up with stuff of my own, and...well...let's just say I literally died once and got brought back. On the topic of Cybertronian superheroes, we have a lot, such as Team Improbable, consisting of six Outliers named Lightspeed, Ultravolt, Knickerbocker, Backdraft, Laserwing and Captain Xaaron. Mech, I love them so much. I used to read about them a lot in the archives. They're kind of a mix between your X-Men and your Justice League. 

As for what happened to me, lately...well, there's this monster planet named Unicron, the very antithesis of our Primus and also His brother. He's known as the Unmaker, because he's darkness and destruction personified, and eats planets on a near-daily basis. He sent his minions, the Terrorcons, to Earth to find this thing called the Transwarp Key, and remember when I said that I hoped nothing terrible happened to the Southern Reach? Well, Unicron happened, he ate the whole colony. I met the survivors, named Maximals, here on Earth. With help from them and two brave people named Noah and Elena, we managed to beat Unicron back and Prime finally came around. He admitted that maybe humans aren't so bad after all. 

And, guess what? My best buddy Mirage finally found love, with the Noah guy I mentioned earlier. It took a month and then some for him to realize that, dumbaft, but I'm so happy for him. If you're still there, where you brought me to your home, then I wanna go see you soon. Just to see your face again would make me really happy. 

Yours as always

Three more weeks later, when she'd finally got all her things back from the apartment she'd had, Otis dropped by with his "best friend" Nahuel. Charlie only gave them a knowing smirk, half-hoping that he'd muster the courage to come out soon. She herself was occupied with her own big thing, and by that, she meant her team. They'd kept in touch after the Detroit mission, and upon finding out that she'd moved back to Brighton Falls, they wanted to meet her family proper as well. 

"You're shaking." her little brother said, squeezing her hands fondly. "I know, your situation and mine aren't quite the same, but truth be told, I was really nervous too when Nahuel said he wanted to visit my home for dinner with Mom and Ron." 

"I'm not frightened, exactly." said Charlie, letting out a little laugh. "No, maybe you're right. I mean, I've never met them outside of a mission, and it's our dad's birthday too, so...I have no idea what to do." 

Then the doorbell, for the second time that day, buzzed its terrible warning buzz. 

A few shufflings later, a "yeah, coming" from Ron, and seconds later, he called "Hey, Charlie, look who's here!" 

She ran outside to find out, and there stood her team, in all their smelly glory(yeah, a sweet smell was wafting from the big red box Agent Burns was holding). All four of them were there, plus a very familiar...yellow...what? 

"Bumblebee?" Charlie asked, as she stared at the large saffron frame, wide-eyed. 

"[ziit]...Hello." radioed the bot in question, waving a servo. 

She didn't hesitate a moment to run over to him and throw her arms around whatever part of him she could get them on. She loved these big blue optics that looked at her with so much affection, the big servos that used to cradle her so gently. Behind her, she could hear Mom coming up and say "My, Mr. Burns, it has been a while. And who might these be?" 

"Dot Wallace-Malto." Dot came up to introduce herself. "My sister, Elena, assisted Bumblebee here in fighting the monster planet known as Unicron." 

Charlie pulled away from the hug she'd wrapped Bee in, and turned to Dot. "So...your sister, huh? Bee did mention an Elena in his latest E-mail but I had no idea." 

Bee even made a confused noise too, and Dot only laughed softly. "I get it." she said. 

"You're Charlie's carrier, right? Name's Bulkhead. Just got welcomed back into the good ol' Autofam, and Bee's our plus one. He wanted to see your daughter so much, so we brought him along." said Bulkhead, transforming quickly and looking around in case anyone saw him. 

"Nice to meet you." Mom said. 

"And last but not least, our leader, Bill Fowler." said Charlie, as she gestured to Bill. "He's the one who made this all possible, as far as I know." 

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Watson, and...other family members I don't know." said Bill. 

"Oh, this is Ron. Mom's new husband." said Charlie. "My little brother, Otis, and his...best friend, Nahuel, who's visiting us for the weekends." 

Then Agent Burns shuffled over to the forefront of the group, with the smelly box he'd been carrying around. "Mrs. Watson, I brought you and your family a little gift." he said, then opened the box, revealing a batch of freshly baked cupcakes. 

"My!" Mom exclaimed. "You make them yourself?" 

Agent Burns scratched the back of his head. "As a matter of fact, I did." 

"Oh, thank you, do come in." said Mom. 

"Looks like we're partying in the garage tonight!" Ron exclaimed. Charlie chuckled. 

And party in the garage they did. The place had been renovated and expanded ever since Charlie'd left home. Nahuel helped Mom with the cooking, much to her pleasant surprise. "Oh, sweetheart, I still can't believe you've been to Japan." she said. "To fight robot dinosaur monsters, no less." 

"Heh, no biggie." Charlie said, stabbing her piece of lasagna with her fork. "I had my team with me, and we were pretty good as a unit. Still, it's better than getting assaulted by some rando out on the streets." She winked at Bumblebee, who chirped back at her as his optics met her eyes, while consuming energon through a tube attached to a container. Next to him, Bulk munched on energon cubes. 

The triplets clamored around Dot, who regaled them with stories from the missions the team had embarked on, with the naughty bits thankfully left out, while Mom, Bill and Agent Burns talked things over, now that the Autobots were officially working with humans. Then, just as they'd begun to run out of food, Ron, who'd dismissed himself a few minutes ago, returned with an enormous chocolate cake, with the letters "Happy Birthday Oscar" emblazoned on top, in a brilliant orange. "So, sorry for keeping this from everyone, but I ordered this custom-made from the bakery. Oscar's my friend too, I've always been there for his birthday, so it felt right to resume the streak." 

"Ron, you..." Charlie muttered, eyes widening. 

"Yeah. I know how much he meant to you." said Ron, beaming. 

"Who's Oscar?" Bulk asked, as he and Bee came over for a closer look. 

"My dad." Charlie said. 

"Dad? Like, your sire?" Bulk asked. 

Charlie nodded. "Yeah, pretty much." She then turned to Mom and said "We're definitely doing this every year. What say you, Mom?" 

"Well, I wouldn't say no." Mom said, and Otis pumped a fist in the air, exclaiming "yes!". 

Bee, overjoyed, began warbling "Happy Birthday" as a single candle was lit and placed in the center of the cake—all the years would have probably melted it. Both Charlie and Otis put the candle out in honor of Dad. The cake itself was delicious, so were the cupcakes Agent Burns had brought. Her belly overstuffed and her spirits soaring, Charlie got up from her seat immediately after finishing her portion. "Mom, Bill, everyone—can I take Bee out for a spin?" she asked. 

"Why don't you ask him directly?" Mom said, a twinkle in her eyes. 

"I agree with Mrs. Watson." Bill added. 

"OK." Charlie nodded, then turned to Bee. "Wanna go for a ride? It's been a while since we've gone on a ride." 

"[ziit]...Yes." Bee's radio replied, then he took a few steps back, before transforming and opening a door for her. 

Gleefully, Charlie slid into the driver's seat, and closed the door. The two zoomed out of the garage, Bulk gleefully opening the garage door for them. 

The road was blissfully empty, which meant they could listen to The Cure on full blast. A "Whoo!" escaped Charlie as her brain went wild, imagining fireworks exploding behind her and Bee as they raced down the open road. So caught up in speed, they didn't notice they were going further from town, until the ride was done, finding themselves stopping just short of a field full of grass. 

Shaking off the adrenaline, Charlie got off Bee, and saw the grass in front of her. "Man, we sure came far, ay?" she asked. 

"[zrkt]...Yeah." Bee's radio replied, then a familiar melody trickled from it, his frame starting to groove along to the melody. 

I wanna call the stars down from the sky,

I wanna live a day that never dies,

I wanna change the world only for you,

All the impossible, I wanna do...

I wanna hold you close under the rain,

I wanna kiss your smile and feel the pain,

I know what's beautiful, looking at you, 

In a world of lies, you are the truth...

And baby,

Every time you touch me, I become a hero,

I'll make you safe, no matter where you are...

And bring you, everything you ask for,

Nothing is above me,

I'm shining like a candle in the dark,

When you tell me that you love me. 

"Oh, you wanna dance? It's on!" Charlie exclaimed, recognizing "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" by Diana Ross, and began to step in time to the music as well, hair wild, feet fleeting.

They twirled, skipped, and spun, spun, spun around under the darkening sky, fireflies slowly drifting from the grass all around them. Though her exposure to the term was under less-than-ideal circumstances, Charlie felt warm, fuzzy, cotton-candy-like feelings as she danced, right next to the strange visitor that changed her life for the better. 

In a world without you, I would always hunger,

All I need is your love to make me stronger! 

And baby,

Every time you touch me, I become a hero,

I'll make you safe, no matter where you are...

And bring you, everything you ask for,

Nothing is above me,

I'm shining like a candle in the dark,

When you tell me that you love me. 

You love me...

When you tell me that you love me.

He had a blessed afternoon and evening, spent in the orbit of his dear Charlie. The best thing about today was that he was there to hear the news with his own audials, when it was announced that she would officially be joining the field, with her mother's blessing, which meant they would be meeting a lot more often. 

After coming back from their little outing which ended with a dance, she said "Oh, I almost forgot, I've been holding on to a gift for you." She then hurried back inside her house, and came back about fifteen kliks later with a tiny amulet, strange glyphs and pretty patterns etched in black and golden thread on yellow fabric, hanging from a black cord. It was him in a...a...a...whatever it was. It was tiny already, but it was even tinier in his servos. 

"It's a lucky charm, of sorts." she'd explained. "In Japan, they call this kinda thing an omamori. You've gone through all sorts of unpleasant things even before meeting me, so I figured you'd be in need of some good luck starting forward." 

Then she'd smiled at him, for the nth time that day, her face glowing, and he ached. He looked down upon her face, and his spark hurt. For the first time in his very long life, mining unit B-127, AKA Badassatron, AKA Bumblebee, knew what it was like to be really, truly, doomed. It felt like Sublevel 50, all over again. Judging by all the affectionate gestures Otis shared with his "best friend" Nahuel during the garage party, he was certain that he was the "boyfriend" Charlie mentioned in one of her E-mails. If Otis and Nahuel, both human, had to hide their love like that, then how much worse would it be for him? After all, he was a mechanical lifeform from Cybertron. His friends Noah and Mirage also had to keep their relationship, their special bond, under wraps for similar reasons. 

No matter. He'd hold to the song they'd danced to, and make her safe no matter where she was. She was his responsibility now, his to care for, like how she'd cared for him seven years ago. 

Even after he came back to base the following day, he sat and thought about her, staring at the console that held T'Ai. "[zrkt]...What have you done to me?" he radioed, and pulled her gift from his subspace, pressing it to his mouthplate, metal on fabric. 

It feels nearly like a kiss. 

T'Ai turned herself on, and asked "Bee? What's wrong?" 

"[ziit]...Nothing." he replied. 

"It's Miss Watson, isn't it?" T'Ai said, then simply released her holo-projection, floating over to him and placing her intangible arms around his helm, in the best approximation of a hug. "It'll be alright, I promise." 

And oh, how he hopes she's right.

From:Badassatron 

To:Elementary My Dear Watson 

Thanks for the gift, I wish you luck as well. I look forward to us working together. You're a great person, I'm sure you'll win like you won, like you did in Japan and Detroit. The Prime protects. 

I miss you. Ferociously and devotedly.

"C'mon, Bee, stay with me, it's okay, it's good. I've got you." Charlie whispered as she worked diligently, her hands painted green with spilled not-blood. 

Her partner only gave a weak buzz, lying prone on the medbay berth. These Decepticon scouts had done a real number on him. 

Nine months. 

Nine months since she'd officially been affiliated with the Autobots. 

Jazz, one of Bee's two best buddies, had won her easily over with his smooth talking, and she'd came to appreciate his love of jazz—the genre of Earth music which he got his name from. Before that, he was just mining unit J-722, but his close friends had called him Jay, then he'd changed his name to Dark Storm, then Meister, then Gemini, then Shaft, then there was Neversmile, then Freakface, then Snazzypedes, then he'd finally settled on Jazz, some time after coming to Earth. Him and his Conjunx Endura—his husband, pretty much—Prowl, they were polar opposites. Prowl was a stickler to Earth traffic rules, with a strong sense of duty,  so unlike his fun-loving mate. Nevertheless, they loved each other very much, and were even raising a son together—Bluestreak, whom they had some time before Bee was sent to Earth. It was through them she finally found out what "sire" and "carrier" meant. 

Mirage, Bee's other best buddy, she hadn't the chance to get acquainted with as much as she did the other Autobots—he was busy doing stuff in some other organization—G.I.Joe, he had said, along with his human boyfriend Noah Diaz, Dot's acquaintance. Though in what few times she did get to meet him, she found him hilarious. 

Then there was Side Burn, the one obsessed with red sports cars, and also Prowl's little brother—the youngest of three, in fact. The oldest brother, X-Brawn, was rarely around, probably busy yee-hawing up a mountainside, down a cave… or anywhere else a normal SUV shouldn’t be. 

And to talk about Optimus Prime...oh, Optimus Prime. She had no idea how it would have felt like, had they met when he was hell-bent on maintaining the disguise, but now that humanity has allied itself with the Autobots, he had decided he's done hiding, and judging by how things went from there, bit by bit, he'd been slowly regaining the power he once wielded on Cybertron. Her first impression of him was a mad god, a living star driven insane. Even among fellow alien vehicles, he felt...off, wild and wayward and not normal at all. A chill had crept up her spine the very second his optics landed on her, standing in a hangar full of humans and machines, radiant and strong and wrongwrongwrong. Mortal dread coiled in her stomach. 

The Freightliner frame didn't do him justice. He deserved something more...intense, something that truly captured his essence. Then he'd opened his mouth and spoke, "Thank you for saving my brother." The voice was warm and soothing, but a heavy power thrummed just under it. Charlie shivered. No mortal was ever meant to be in the presence of Fae, a thousand tales said. Now she could understand what it meant, right here, in the Prime's presence. Despite the surging dread, she'd been relieved that they were on the same side. The Prime protects, indeed. 

For a brief time, she contemplated working with Wheeljack, but she'd always been better at fixing things rather than making them, maybe that was why she ended up becoming an apprentice medic under Ratchet instead. 

Another thing that changed was that she'd begun praying. Not to humanity's loving Father, mind you, but to Primus, the other creator, whose mere concept had been utterly ridiculous to her before, who didn't show favoritism to one specific race of sentient lifeforms. She prayed to Primus, to not let Bee die. If he were to ever die on her, she wouldn't know what to do. Jamming with him, going on wild rides, these were the things she'd come to cherish most in her life. And she didn't let her mentor know about it—Ratchet was a staunch atheist, utterly repulsed by the mere idea of anything divine existing, and would often do some crazy mental gymnastics to explain why Optimus Prime was, in fact, not a god, despite all the evidence pointing to the contrary. 

"I'm not going anywhere." she swore, trying to steady her hands. "So hang on for me, please?" 

Then she felt Ratchet place a digit on her shoulder. "It's alright, kid, he'll be fine. You saved him." 

She looked at the screen monitoring his vitals—they'd returned to being stable. Ever since word got out that a backwater planet had beaten back Unicron, Decepticon interest on Earth had spiked suddenly and upon finding out the Autobots and Maximals had been involved, they'd sent real, actual troops here, resulting in a lot of close calls, before finally launching a full-scale invasion, led by SIC Air Commander Starscream. All of which led them to this point, with many injured, Bee among them. How things would unfold from here, Charlie had no idea, but she was sure Sector 7 could come up with something to cover the whole fight up.

SPOILER ALERT:She was wrong. Very, very wrong. 

The world knew about car-shaped alien robots now. They'd officially been dubbed "the Transformers" by the media, with everyone, at least everyone in America, questioning how to tell apart the "good ones" and the "bad ones". The difference was simple, it lay in the insignia, and sometimes the alt mode—Decepticons cannot bother themselves to care about humans, so they never scan Earth vehicles. A lot of other countries still believed they couldn't be anything more than highly advanced man-made machines, though, and Optimus Prime, much to Charlie's surprise, had decided to indulge these beliefs for a while. She didn't know why, but she had the foreboding feeling that he'd someday use it to his advantage when doing something BIG. 

Her team—Bill, Agent Burns, Dot and Bulkhead—had been working diligently to maintain positive relations between humans and Autobots, and she was always there with them, because that was why Bill had brought the team together in the first place, for that purpose. 

Once, in a fortnight, or sometimes more if they are lucky, she took Bee out for a ride, to clear both their minds. He'd sometimes describe the sensation of cruising down the road with her as "flying". And she understood that, she felt like flying too, it felt so exhilarating, when it was just the open air, the asphalt, her, and her most favorite person in the whole wide world. Noah and Mirage joined them every once in a while, and they raced to the edge, stopping at totally random finish lines, not caring at all who came in first. Mirage would jokingly call these encounters "double dates" and then they'd have a good laugh, when it was all done. 

And it went on and on and on, into the next year and then the year after that, as her life became crazier and crazier, everyone around her ensured she was cared for—her team, Mom, Ron, Ratchet, Otis and Bee. Most of all Bee. He acted as a loyal guardian whether or not they were on the field, and often called her his lady, a nickname that made her chuckle every time. While on missions, she'd drive any Autobot that was in her vicinity, but 70% of the time, it was Bee, and she'd felt more in sync with him than she did with any other car. 

If you told little Charlie Watson, freshly out of middle school, that she'd live a life full of action and strange visitors and speeding cars, she wouldn't have believed it. But it happened. She was 28 now, with a mighty pen on her hip, going buckwild behind the wheel of an alien Camaro while fighting bad guys, and it was perfect. Mom hugged her one day, and said "Your dad would be so proud.", and it felt just right.

From:Elementary My Dear Watson 

To:Badassatron 

Hey, honey, it's me, your lady. How's the away mission going? I've been doing fine lately. Good news, Otis finally swallowed his fear and came out. He'd been expecting to be disowned, but no. Mom and Ron still love him. They're just glad Otis has found his special someone. "Just don't fool around near the kids", Mom did say, though. I, for my part, am doing well. Mirage and Noah are real good partners to me, and also a pair of sentimental sweethearts. Seriously, I feel like a third wheel whenever I see them giving each other the eyes. 

Both Alex and Elena came to visit Dot yesterday. How supportive they were, Dot's lucky to have such a caring husband and sister. Airazor and Tigatron, especially, were overjoyed to see Elena, and when I asked, well...they had a tiff about two months back, but then they grew to all love each other, and Airazor outright said that Tigatron was her Conjunx and Elena was her wife. All three of them are devotedly in love, and if the world wasn't so harsh, they would already be joined together in an official ceremony, but since when have things been conventional after that whole Unicron thing? 

Seeing Noah and Mirage, and Airazor and Elena and Tigatron, it made me think about you and I. Will we ever move beyond car and driver? 

I've thought of it often in the time since my team brought you to visit me, and I've ridden a lot of cars, both the ones made here on Earth, and the ones that can turn into robots, but none of them quite measure up to you. If you don't feel the same, then that's fine by me. But thank you, for always being by my side. 

One more thing, Tripp's finally marrying his new Greek girlfriend. Her family's visa expires soon, and she proposed to him so they can stay together, I believe. He's invited me and Memo to the wedding, care to be my plus one when you come back? You can say no, if you don't want to. They probably won't be expecting an Autobot at the wedding anyway, and besides, you haven't met the groom, at least not directly, to say nothing of the bride. I'm sure you have better things to do than show up for the wedding of some guy you barely know. I could go alone, but I'll miss you, Bee, and I don't wanna miss a thing. 

Wait, what did I just say? Forget I said that. Just remember that I'll think of you as I always do. 

Ferociously and devotedly, 

Charlie

"Congratulations to the big man around town." Memo said, giving Tripp a firm handshake as they stood outside, under a bright sun, both decked out in sharp white suits. All around them were white banners, white ribbons, with some pink accents sprinkled in. The flowers, too, consisted mostly of white and pink, and Charlie popped out from the background like a sore thumb, in her red, green and blue gradient dress—the only piece of formal clothing she owned. 

"Thanks, bro." Tripp said, beaming. He and Memo had grown close over the years, post-his breakup with Tina. 

Then the wedding march began playing, and the beautiful bride came gliding down the aisle on her father's arm after what felt like an eternity, looking like a fairy tale princess in her dress—all frills and lace and ribbon at the sleeves, and many layers of chiffon at the skirt, a diaphanous veil draped over her head, held in place by simple pins. As she looked at her go, Charlie felt a sense of relief, knowing that her family had trusted Tripp Summers enough, trusted him to take good care of her through her new life. 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Tripp Leo Summers and Elia Andritsos in holy matrimony..." the officiator began, and Charlie watched as the rings were exchanged three times, then came the simple wedding crowns, woven from organdy strips and wildflowers. The officiator took extra care in tying the crowns' ribbons together, to represent the couple's married life going forward. A crystal goblet filled with red wine was eventually brought out and blessed by the officiator, another Greek wedding tradition Charlie knew nothing of, both Tripp and Elia supping from it three times to show their successful union. Then came the best part, the big damn kiss that sealed everything off—first they kissed the good book, then each other, then they got a lot from friends and family. 

After all the steps were done with, and the wedding crowns were taken off the happy couple's heads, bags of sugar-coated almonds were handed around, and Elia threw her bouquet over her shoulder, right into the arms of some girl whose name Charlie couldn’t be bothered to know. "Hey, Charlie, thanks for coming today." said Tripp, as he came over to her, Elia clinging to his arm, big smiles on both their faces. 

"No problem. Congratulations." said Charlie, and pulled both of them into a brief hug. The warm midsummer breeze tickled her cheeks as she watched them head to the raised platform that served as a dance floor. She felt like she should leave, too. It would be better than watch Tina Lark fuming from the pews, stewing with jealousy and anger. 

Among the cars parked just outside the venue, she caught a flash of yellow. It was quite easy, slinking off into the middle of various lined vehicles, and her heart skipped a bit, recognizing the familiar shape of a Camaro, and it soon began changing shape, with the tell-tale sounds—rand-o-mon, o-mato-po, etik, zown. Without thinking, her body moved on its own, launching itself into his arms. He smelled like trees and fresh new electronics and something else she couldn't name, something so distinctly him. 

"I can't believe you really came," she muttered, as one large servo carded through her thick brown hair. "After thinking you wouldn't..." 

"I would do anything for love, I know it's true and that's a fact, I would do anything for love, and there'll never be no turning back." his radio sang to her. 

"Sorry to say, you missed the whole deal." Charlie chuckled, drawing away at the sound of voices. "But don't worry, there's plenty of fun to be had." 

"Charlie?" 

At the call of her name, she turned to find Memo, Tripp and Elia. "Oh, hi, fellas." she said. "Elia, this is—" 

"You're one of these Autobots, right?" Elia asked. "I saw you on the news. You looked so cool." 

"[ziit]...Honored." Bee's radio said. 

"I've been wondering where you went." Memo joined in. "Oh, hi, Bee! What a surprise to see you." 

Bee buzzed back to him, in what was probably intended as a hi. Charlie let out a little laugh, then another joined the fray. 

"Heyyy," Tina Lark drawled, most definitely drunk on too much champagne. "Are we done yet? What is this, a party animal? No, wait, I know you, you're the yellow thing that ruined my life!" 

"His name's Bumblebee, and he's not a thing." Memo said, readily putting himself between her and his friends. 

"Yeah, I know, he's an alien, and nothing good ever comes from getting mixed up with aliens." said Tina. 

"Tina—" Tripp began, trying to diffuse the situation before things got worse. 

"Oh, what's the matter, darling? That little piss bug and his big scary girlfriend came along and made a mess out of my life, together with that bitch. I believe some payback is due." She leveled a death-glare at Charlie and Bee, anger burning in her eyes. 

The Larks were, unfortunately, well acquainted with Tripp's family to be invited, and Tina was the only one of her lot, with her loose tongue, fueled by envy and liquor and spite. She'd played the model guest during the ceremony, but now? Not so much. But before anyone could get a word in, Bee's radio once again flickered to life, and from it came what was probably the finest comeback Charlie had ever heard. "[ziit]...Silly...[zrkt]...little girl...[ziit]...weddings...[ziit]...for grown-ups." 

It was a mismatch of random radio sounds, but the intent behind them was clear enough, a vicious light flickering in these big blue optics. Tina had just stepped into a war zone, without even knowing it was one. 

"Hey, what'd you say? Couldn't get a word with all that static." Tina said, smiling sarcastically. 

Bee shrugged, letting out another beep.

Charlie bit back a laugh. "OK, I think that's enough." she said, eyes shining. 

"Yeah, I've had enough of aliens. I've had enough of you, and I've had enough of your little whore—" Tina seethed, hands curled into fists. 

"[zrkt]...You could say that again." 

Instantly, all eyes were on Bee. Everyone tensed up, save Charlie, knowing what he was capable of. He was a soldier first and foremost, and he was many things—a car, a friend, brother-in-arms to a warrior god, but a pushover was not one of them. A sweeping silence fell, she could hear the audible gulp of Tina swallowing down her fear. 

"[ziit]...Speak." his radio said, "[zrkt]...What's the matter?...[ziit]...you...[zrkt]...scared?" 

Charlie gently tapped on his forearm, drawing his attention. "Thanks for sticking up for me." she said. "But it's getting late, and I'm sure my friends are getting tired. Can you take me home?" 

Bee buzzed, giving her a nod, and then transformed back to a Camaro. The look on Tina's face would be burned into her mind for many years to come, as she got inside and they headed to the Watson house. An old yet new song flowed from his radio on the way, "For Crying Out Loud" by Meat Loaf, something Mom and Dad would listen to together, once upon a time. 

I was lost 'til you were found,

And I never knew how far down I was falling,

Before I reached the bottom...

I was cold and you were fire,

And I never knew how the pyre could be burning,

On the edge of the ice field.

And now the chilly California wind,

Is blowing down our bodies again...

And we're sinking,

Deeper and deeper in the chilly California sand,

Oh, I know you belong inside my aching heart.

And can't you see my faded Levis bursting apart?

And don't you here me crying, "Oh, babe, don't go"?

And don't you hear me screaming, "How was I to know?!" 

I'm in the middle of nowhere,

Near the end of the line,

But there's a border to somewhere waiting,

And there's a tankful of time!

Oh, give me just another moment,

To see the light of the day,

And take me to another land where,

I don't have to stay!

And I'm gonna need somebody to make me feel like you do,

And I will receive somebody with open arms, open eyes,

Open up the sky, let the planet that I love shine through...

For crying out loud, you know I love you!

For crying out loud, you know I love you!

For crying out loud, you know I love you! 

Charlie was taken aback, then she felt a blush creep onto her cheek. So he did feel the same, after all. This was his way of telling her. "Aw, I love you too." she said, stroking his wheel. In no time at all, she was singing along. 

Oh, I know you belong inside my aching heart.

And can't you see my faded Levis bursting apart?

And don't you here me crying, "Oh, babe, don't go"?

And don't you hear me screaming, "How was I to know?" 

I'm in the middle of nowhere, 

Near the end of the line, 

But there's a border to somewhere waiting, 

And there's a tankful of time! 

Oh, give me just another moment, 

To see the light of the day, 

And take me to another land where, 

I don't have to stay! 

And I'm gonna need somebody to make me feel like you do, 

And I will receive somebody with open arms, open eyes,

Open up the sky, let the planet that I love shine through...

For crying out loud, you know I love you!

For crying out loud, you know I love you! 

Oh, for crying out loud, you know I love you!

For crying out loud, you know I love you! 

For coming to my room, when you know I'm alone, 

For finding me a highway, and driving me home,

And you gotta know, for that I serve you. 

For pulling me away, when I'm starting to fall, 

For revving me up, when I'm starting to stall, 

And all in all, for that I want you. 

For crying out loud, for that I love you. 

Oh, but most of all, 

For crying out loud, for that I love you. 

When you're crying out loud...

You know I love you. 

How many women got to experience this, riding home in an alien robot, who turned out to have feelings for her, feelings that she shared? Even after their wild ride home, Charlie still felt giddy, her chest full of butterflies. At the front porch of her home, she held out her arms, and Bee scooped her up in his own, and her lips met the warm metal of his mouthplate, sweet and hot and utterly perfect. 

When they broke apart, Bee's radio said "[ziit]...Kill her...[zrkt]...I won't...[zrkt]...if you say so." 

"Jesus, Bee, what a fucking savage." Charlie chuckled. "No, I don't want you to kill her. But there's another thing we can do."

From:Elementary My Dear Watson 

To:Badassatron 

Did you hear the news? Tina Lark is moving out of town. Her dad's reputation has taken a nosedive, I suppose, and last time I saw her, she was scrambling to get her things packed up in the back of her car, the only thing she has left, rambling about a fresh start or something. New world, new rules, but I don't think she understood that. I'm glad we took The Princess Bride approach with her, a long life alone with her cowardice. 

I'm not sorry for what happened to her. After everything I've had to endure, I have no reason to be. She was always rotten, deep down to the core, the kind that teases other girls relentlessly for not being her, the kind that spits upon poor people for being poor. Remember what happened on Tripp's big day? To be completely honest, if I had my pen with me, I would have just iced her then and there, and left her frozen solid. Please don't hate me for thinking like this, I've hated her since we were fifteen, I've hated her ten years ago, and I don't feel the slightest bit guilty for hating her still. Will you forgive me?

From:Badassatron 

To:Elementary My Dear Watson 

My lady, there is nothing in this whole wide universe that will ever make me hate you, but I think I like this new side of you. Can you be unhinged a little more often, preferably on the field? These Decepticreeps, they need to see what you're capable of. Same goes for these Cobra goons. 

And I've never been a perfect boy scout either. The first thing I did upon realizing that I had knife hands was to cut up everything in my way. To some extent, I still do. Will you forgive me?

...

Charlie Watson always thought things would be different between her and Bee, after making it official. But turns out, it wasn't that different from any other part of their lives. They still went out on wild rides when there was nothing else to do. The only new thing that ever occurred was them going out on movie dates, to drive-in theaters. Ever since she and Bee had made it official, Bessie always sat in her corner of the garage, gathering dust, and Charlie did feel the slightest bit sorry for her, but that was really it. "Always knew you'd have a special place in your heart for him.", Mom had said once they broke the news to her, and it couldn't have been more true. Memo's reaction to it was...well, he'd simply given them a little smile and said "I'm happy for you." 

Within the first week of their new life as a couple, he'd opened up to her as much as radio recordings and song lyrics could muster, Optimus Prime of all people there with them to fill in the gaps, telling her about his life stuck in Sublevel 50 of Iacon City, watching trash burn. What landed him there, even he couldn't remember. But it must have been a hard life down there, she thought, and she was glad he'd never have to suffer through that again. 

Another successful mission, with a lot of speed limits broken, they returned triumphantly to base, Jack and Bill and Bulk and Dot meeting them in the middle, presumably after coming back from their own victory. Sector 7 and G.I.Joe threw them a welcome party, and they jammed to all her favorite songs, and all his favorite songs, and then some. 

"Hey, heard you two are an item now." Bulk said as he sidled over to them. "Good for you!" 

"Indeed, I was wondering when would you stop dancing around each other." Bill added. 

Charlie smiled. "Thanks. It means a lot, coming from you." 

"She's all I got, she's all I got in this world, but she's all the woman I need, I need, I, I needed." Bee's radio sang, joy radiating from his whole frame. 

"Hey, you two, give the lovebirds some alone time, will ya?" Dot asked as she passed by. Bill and Bulk scratched the backs of their heads in unison, and moseyed off, in search of some other thing to do. 

All around them were people and bots, chatting happily, enjoying the moment. Noah and Mirage were laughing together, Jazz and Prowl fussed over Bluestreak, and Ratchet was speaking to recently reformed Decepticon Drift, formerly known as Deadlock, a mech whose visage reminded Charlie very much of the samurai armor she'd seen in Japan. A young winged femme, who couldn't have been any older than 12 in Earth years, squeezed herself between them, the cables on her head styled like a geisha's hairdo. 

"To us," Charlie said, raising the glass in her hand, then emptying it in one gulp and slamming it down on the table. 

"[ziit]...To us." Bee repeated. To us, and to all the years we'll spend together. 

Sure, it wouldn't be smooth sailing, the path forward would be fraught with hardships, and many, many, many disagreements, but in the end, it would all be worth it. Ride or die. When he looked at her, the way he looked at her, was with such sweet love before he knelt down to her level, and she pressed her lips to his mouthplate. 

Once, she thought she'd never be free of the grief that plagued her after Dad died. But here she was, happy once more, with two families—the one she was born into and the one she got roped into, and the love of her life by her side. And she wouldn't have had it any other way.

T'Ai spent long kliks, staring at a file stored within her database, a message that was probably meant for Miss Watson—"call me Charlie", she'd said. Well, it wouldn't hurt to see what this was all about. She opened the file, and what lay inside would have made her tear up a little, had she been a femme with a proper frame. 

From:Badassatron 

To:Elementary My Dear Watson 

Charlie—

I've been mulling over whether or not to send you this, but if you see it, it means we're back together. 

When the war's over, my greatest dream is to live with you, here on Earth. Cybertron is home, yeah, but it's also nothing but bad memories. Back in Sublevel 50, I had nothing but fake friends made of scrap metal and a great fiery incinerator to keep me company. Coming to this wonderful green planet and meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I have lived before you, but I can't live without you. That's how much you mean to me. You, who gave me my name, and found me a way to speak again. 

All the times you've ridden inside me, I've came close to busting my engine from how good it felt. Many drivers have come and gone, but none could ever compare to you. I've carried you with me a lot of times, filled to the breaking point with only Charlie. For so many yahrens, I've thought there was always something wrong with me. Maybe the fact that I was made in the first place was horrible enough, I used to think. After all, I'm not very smart, I'm clumsy and noisy, I never thought I could be anything of worth. Even after I got my T-Cog, I kept feeling like I'm a horrible bot, and everyone was simply too nice to punish me anymore. But then there you were. 

Charlie, you're here at HQ for the first time, getting introduced to all my friends. I've been nothing but a horrible bot who deserved to be stuck down below with all the trash, that's all I thought myself to be for so long, I can't recall what it means to be anything else. That can't be true now, because you turn and smile at me and make me feel like I'm worth something. Why should I loathe myself, when you're here, looking at me like I'm someone special? 

You're jamming to all the songs you like, Jazz and Mirage shaking their afts and tapping their feet to them, Prime looking on, smiling exasperatedly but fondly. Your hair is loose, you're wearing a plain black shirt with blue jeans, you laugh out loud at Bulk's crude jokes, and the rest of your team is here too, and it all hurts so beautifully. 

At times I wonder how much time we have left together, after all, your kind isn't as long-lived as mine. Primus have mercy on my soul, I have no idea how long you'll live, though you'll always be twenty-five in my optics. 

Whatever you decide to do in life, know that you have my full support. To hang out with you again for three joors, that is all I ask for. To have you one Earth year, ten Earth years, maybe a fifty, a hundred and beyond is not for me to decide. Wherever you go, I go. You ride, I ride. You fight, I fight. And if you ever die on me, Charlie Watson, I wouldn't know what to do. As the song goes, If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you. 

My driver. My lady. Mouthface. Charlie. 

I love you so much. This is Bee, signing off.