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The twins awoke to the pale white walls and typical evil décor of a containment cell.
Well this was certainly new.
Donnie raised an eyebrow at his surrounding and the ropes crudely binding him to a chair. They took his arm gear, darn. Couldn’t get his battle shell or the hand monitor off though. Hah, amateurs. That was the most important bit. This was gonna be very entertaining.
He felt the ropes rustle behind him and blinked before making a shushing motion to Leo who gave an offended gasp in return. Donnie deadpanned before tilting his head to the very obvious camera and mic on the ceiling.
Leo frowned and nodded before subtly miming something blowing up. The other hummed, smiling … Maybe-
The silent conversation was interrupted by the loud hissing of a steel door opening, giving way to a largish man in a suit probably copied from a bond movie.
“Greetings Aliens, I see that you have awakened.” The man walked over leaving the doors to slam close. “Our intel tells us you understand english enough, so this setup should suffice.”
He was met with two withering glares. No matter, he wasn’t one to be intimidated.
Leo groaned mentally. He could not pass up such prime material. If he remained quiet a minute longer, he would explode. Leo silently tilted his head out of the man’s view and looked at his brother with pleading eyes. Donnie rolled his eyes and sighed, waving his approval, this was getting boring anyways. Leo smirked and took a breath.
“Hey bud, what a welcome ey?” Interrupted the turtle, sizing the newcomer up and down like he was some interesting prize at a carnival. “Love the hair by the way. I heard balding is so in fashion nowadays.”
Donnie scoffed behind him. “Twenty bucks that he’s completely bald and that’s an overpriced wig.” Leo grinned before snapping his fingers, “That better not be a wig my guy,” He cheerfully spoke. “Im saving that twenty for a comic.”
The man couldn’t decide whether he was happy they were vocal for the data or if he should pray for them to shut up.
“I do not think you understand the situation you are in, aliens. We-”
“Oh no, we understand plenty.” Interrupted Don. “Some B- list government plan to experiment on us right? Very predictable. You did all the cliches.” Leo nodded sagely, “And the exposed camera? Really man? I mean at least put some effort.” He sighed like a disappointed school teacher. “Im honestly offended.”
“Anyways I can’t keep calling you a limp piece of jerky our entire visit here can I? What’s your name muchacho?”
“That is entirely not important.” Snapped the man, “And you insolent creatures will find so called visit to be quite per-”
“His name is Bishop. Forty three years old, works for the shitshow called EPF. Still single as a pringle.”
“Yeowch. Can’t blame the woman tho.”
“And a scientist.” Donnie frowned at his screen. “They really are giving that out to anybody aren’t they?”
Bishop growled at them and alerted a defensive measure. “Where the hell did you get that?”
Donnie looked up, “Oh I hacked you… duh. Those are some tacky pictures on your instagram btw.” Bishop sputtered indignantly reaching over to grab the monitor only to grab air. “Oh also that alert you sent, I don’t think anyone’s gonna get that.”
“Pat pat.”
Bishop’s eyes narrowed in alarm as he pulled out a taser and fired, hitting the purple one straight in the chest. “Fine then, refuse to cooperate. I only need one of you alive.”
The turtle jerked up and fell in his chair shaking against the ropes. Bishop smiled, satisfied and turned to look to the other one, only to hear muffled laughter.
“Oh no, please I’m dying!” Giggled the dead turtle.
BANG
The gun exploded loudly in Bishops hands.
“Jerk.” Huffed Donnie, rolling his shoulders. Leo hummed in agreement and picked at his nails, “Yeah i’m getting sick of this. Can we dip Dee?” Don looked at his monitor before tutting and banging it against the chair. “Bit fried, gimme five minutes. Tops.”
Bishop swiftly recovered, to his credit and seethed at them. “Do you lowlifes not understand? You can explode whatever you want or laugh yourselves to the grave for all I care but understand this. You are never.” He spat, “Getting out of my hands.” He banged his hands onto the blue one’s chair. “I will bind you in solid iron if I have to. I will contain you and I will break you.” He exhaled into Leo’s face “So I would suggest acting nicer aliens.”
Leo blinked, and tried to keep a straight face.
Before completely bursting into laughter.
“Oh boy. No-no sorry,” He cackled, “Great speech and all but did you really think you were keeping us here?” Donnie sniggered in the background. “Hey Dee, pass me a piece of metal would ya?” Don flipped a screw into the air which instantly turned into a glowing sword.
“Yeah buddy. Wanna see a magic trick?”
Bishop turned to grab a different weapon.
“Now I’m here…” A flash of blue echoed off the wall.
“And now I ain’t”
And the turtle was gone. Bishop wanted to murder someone.
“You’ve been stalling this entire time?” Gritted Bishop when the alien came back.
“Stalling?” Jeered Donnie. “Please, like any of you are worth stalling over. Any normal person could break out of here in a minute, but….” The blue one put his arm around the other turtle. “Me and Dee here like to give ya a bit of a show.”
BANG!
An explosion ricocheted off the walls and plumes of fire roared in the distance.
“There goes your research and development department SUCKERS!” Cackled Don, now free and fist bumping Leo.
Red sirens and screams filled the air as water fell from the sprinklers above. Donatello grinned. Time for phase two.
“Hit it Dee!” Yelled Leo as all the speakers in the building started blasting the same tune.
The opening of La Macarena.
A beat.
Bishop screeched, blindly blasting his gun forward.
“Aw, little baby having a tantrum?” Mocked Leo, sidestepping away. Donnie grinned as his mechanical limbs turned and pushed the man into the wall, disarming him. Satisfied he handed something to his brother. “All yours Nardo.” And it was gone in a blue flash. He then handed him a microphone.
“Good Morning EPF!”
“T-Minus…. Uh the end if this song, until you all get blasted to Canada. Ain’t that fun!”
Don reached over. “If you have any god you pray to, now’s the time to put in your final words.”
“Tello, do it with me,” whispered Leo
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“EY MACARENA!” They both yelled into the microphone.
In his excitement, Donnie’s trap loosened. Bishop strained for the gun as a last ditch effort and grasped it shuffling it over to him. He straightened his grip and looked at the dancing purple one.
Taking aim and-
Cold metal at his throat.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Leo disdained. “Unless you want every single one of the twenty seven bones in your hand broken. Painfully. Individually.” Bishop lowered his gun. “Good. Now you see, I’m not a bad guy. I even held myself back when you electrocuted my brother.” The blade dug deeper. “So, don’t worry, nobody will get hurt, nobody has been hurt. But if you or your organisation even come near my family again.” He gave a murderous chuckle. “I will hunt you down personally and do all the things you said you’d do to us. Only fair right?”
Saying this he reached out and ripped Bishop’s wig away before waving it in front of him. “Damnit…Guess you really are a bald ass, Garfield.”
“Yess! I told you.” Dee crowed.
Leo cracked his fingers forward before snapping open a portal. “Time To leave. Nice meeting you Dr Poptart.”
“Stay single. Don’t mingle.”
They both simultaneously flipped him off before jumping in.
Bishop took a deep breath in, and screamed.
They exited onto a building a bloc away from their area of departure. Leo swayed and gripped onto the railing. “Damn- Taking 103 people out of a burning building takes the shit outta you.”
“Weren’t there 104 people?”
Leo grimaced and snapped his fingers. “Fine, 103 people and one head of cabbage with legs.”
Donnie smiled before checking his monitor. “Here comes the climax Leo, nice of them to make their building in an abandoned area.” “Hah, i’ll toast to that.”
“Alright then,
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“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” They cheered as the building exploded with a loud boom, setting ablaze in a hellish purple fire. Flaming debris flew onto the abandoned city below like rain.
It was beautiful, it was poetic.
Leo and Donnie looked at the fire and high fived.
Job well done.
…
“Raph’s gonna kill us.”
“Shhh Nardo, enjoy the moment.”
…
“But yes, we’re 100% dead”